1
00:00:00,969 --> 00:00:03,072
Great work today, okay?
2
00:00:03,172 --> 00:00:05,195
I just, uh, called
you in here
to let you know
3
00:00:05,295 --> 00:00:08,800
it looks like our,
uh, our parking proposal
isn't gonna fly.
4
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:11,783
Oh, on a side note,
Stuart, your car's
being towed.
5
00:00:13,145 --> 00:00:16,169
Don't bother,
it's too late.
6
00:00:16,269 --> 00:00:18,372
All right, look, I know
everybody put in a lot
of hours on this project,
7
00:00:18,472 --> 00:00:19,814
but let's not take it
personally, okay?
8
00:00:19,914 --> 00:00:22,097
City Council
is not out to get us.
9
00:00:22,197 --> 00:00:24,661
Why is everybody
smiling at me?
10
00:00:24,761 --> 00:00:27,665
Mike, it's just that
it's nice to see you
leaving so early these days.
11
00:00:27,765 --> 00:00:31,350
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but it's 6:00, right?
12
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:33,152
That is when our day
usually ends.
13
00:00:33,252 --> 00:00:35,155
Uh, no, it's not.
That's when you told us
it ends when you hired us.
14
00:00:35,255 --> 00:00:36,357
(CLEARS THROAT)
15
00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:38,079
It's actually more
like 9:00 or 10:00.
16
00:00:38,179 --> 00:00:40,242
By the way, Mike,
things still going
well with Gayley?
17
00:00:40,342 --> 00:00:42,345
Gayley.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
18
00:00:43,506 --> 00:00:45,329
Okay, all right.
All right,
now I get it.
19
00:00:45,429 --> 00:00:47,692
I see. So now that
I'm finally
dating someone,
20
00:00:47,792 --> 00:00:49,414
I'm... I 'm rushing out
of here every night.
21
00:00:49,514 --> 00:00:51,177
Let me set the record
straight, okay?
22
00:00:51,277 --> 00:00:52,498
My professional life
comes first.
23
00:00:52,598 --> 00:00:53,580
If my job required
me to be here
24
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,342
at 4:00 in the morning,
I would be here.
25
00:00:55,442 --> 00:00:57,445
Uh, Mike!
26
00:01:06,297 --> 00:01:10,042
Oh, gee! Oh.
I'm sorry.
27
00:01:10,142 --> 00:01:13,166
Oh, gosh,
darn it.
28
00:01:13,266 --> 00:01:16,390
Stuart, why did you
have to see me
at 6:00 exactly?
29
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,138
No reason.
30
00:01:22,238 --> 00:01:24,241
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
31
00:01:34,935 --> 00:01:36,077
Who cares about
total reform?
32
00:01:36,177 --> 00:01:38,080
I'm focusing on
criminal law.
33
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:41,184
I mean, the only reason
why I took this class was
because the professor was...
34
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,008
Mike, you're
doing it again.
35
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:46,190
Doing what? what?
You're staring
at my food.
36
00:01:46,831 --> 00:01:48,934
No, I'm not.
37
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:51,037
I'm staring
at your breasts.
38
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,863
Don't try to get out of it.
39
00:01:55,963 --> 00:01:58,307
Every time we go out,
you rush through your meal
40
00:01:58,407 --> 00:02:00,470
and then you stare until
I let you finish mine.
41
00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:01,992
You know, when you say
things like that,
42
00:02:02,092 --> 00:02:04,335
I begin to think
maybe you don't
understand me.
43
00:02:05,697 --> 00:02:07,719
Are you gonna eat
those potatoes or...
44
00:02:07,819 --> 00:02:11,124
Eat up, babe,
'cause you're paying.
Excuse me?
45
00:02:11,224 --> 00:02:12,486
I won my mock trial today.
46
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:13,928
Well, congratulations.
47
00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:15,570
But I believe our deal
was I would buy dinner
48
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:19,255
when you won your first trial,
not your first mock trial.
49
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:21,718
For that, we'd go out
to a mock dinner.
50
00:02:24,722 --> 00:02:26,845
And, uh, maybe a little
mock dancing.
51
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,390
Do you know
how to mock dance?
52
00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:32,493
I'm doing it right now.
53
00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:35,897
You are so beautiful
when you do that.
54
00:02:36,418 --> 00:02:38,681
I just want to
tell you that, uh...
55
00:02:38,781 --> 00:02:41,925
these last few weeks
have been really amazing.
56
00:02:42,025 --> 00:02:46,451
You know, I know we've been
going kind of slow,
57
00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:48,254
but it's been
a long time since
I've met anyone like you
58
00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:50,357
and I just didn't want
to screw things up by...
59
00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:52,660
going too fast, you know?
60
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,102
You want to
get out of here?
61
00:02:54,202 --> 00:02:56,204
I'll get your coat.
62
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,988
Sorry, I'm late.
I had to change
my shirt and tie.
63
00:02:59,088 --> 00:03:01,271
Wow, you look great!
64
00:03:01,371 --> 00:03:03,374
Oh, Paul.
65
00:03:04,496 --> 00:03:06,498
He gets that off of
"you look great"?
66
00:03:07,339 --> 00:03:09,042
Well, he's not
just saying that.
67
00:03:09,142 --> 00:03:11,285
You see, Paul never lies.
68
00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:13,387
Don't have it in me.
69
00:03:13,948 --> 00:03:16,171
Really? What do you think
of Nikki's sweater?
70
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:19,376
Well, for starters,
it's the wrong
color on her.
71
00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:21,599
And uh, it makes
her look boxy.
72
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,163
Well, good night all.
73
00:03:28,127 --> 00:03:30,410
You know, the skirt's
all wrong, too.
74
00:03:34,536 --> 00:03:37,580
See, I told you.
Every one of
Marvin Gaye's CDs.
75
00:03:38,581 --> 00:03:40,724
It was not just
a pick-up line.
76
00:03:40,824 --> 00:03:43,268
That's too bad,
because it was
very smooth.
77
00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,154
So, how about that
drink you promised me?
78
00:03:49,075 --> 00:03:50,978
Actually,
uh, that...
79
00:03:51,078 --> 00:03:53,081
That was
a pick-up line.
80
00:03:53,682 --> 00:03:55,424
I... I'm sorry,
I don't have anything.
81
00:03:55,524 --> 00:03:57,066
How about
a glass of water?
82
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,548
A water?
Yeah, okay.
83
00:03:58,648 --> 00:04:00,851
Uh... brown, no ice?
84
00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,635
Just the way
I like it.
85
00:04:03,735 --> 00:04:05,718
Why don't you just
put on some music?
86
00:04:05,818 --> 00:04:07,821
Do you like Marvin Gaye?
87
00:04:08,301 --> 00:04:09,683
He's okay.
88
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,806
GAYLEY: So, Mike...
89
00:04:11,906 --> 00:04:13,849
I finally get to see
your apartment.
90
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,451
I have to be
honest with you,
91
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:17,814
I was beginning
to think you still
lived with your parents
92
00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:20,378
or you were
a serial killer.
93
00:04:20,478 --> 00:04:24,002
Well, I, uh...
I definitely don't
live with my parents.
94
00:04:29,129 --> 00:04:31,132
Drink?
95
00:04:31,973 --> 00:04:34,236
Still going out with
the psychiatrist tonight?
96
00:04:34,336 --> 00:04:38,001
Not a chance.
That guy put the "psycho"
in psychoanalyst.
97
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,725
The night would have
been a total loss
except he did
98
00:04:40,825 --> 00:04:43,729
tell me a sure-fire way
to mentally dominate people.
99
00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:46,473
My grandpa
always did that
by using the evil eye.
100
00:04:48,195 --> 00:04:50,198
Bring me my soup.
101
00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:55,986
Change the channel
on my television.
102
00:04:56,086 --> 00:04:58,088
Well, I can
certainly see how
he hooked Grandma.
103
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:01,593
You guys,
I am serious.
104
00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:03,836
He said this
is a great tool
to use in business.
105
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:07,000
He said the first step is
you just ignore the person.
106
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,524
Oh, come on,
human beings just
aren't that simple.
107
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:11,206
Mmm, yep, they are.
108
00:05:11,306 --> 00:05:13,309
Yes, they are what?
109
00:05:15,031 --> 00:05:16,293
What's her problem?
110
00:05:16,393 --> 00:05:17,775
I don't know.
111
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,998
Why should she be
angry with me?
What did I do? Hey, Nikki!
112
00:05:20,799 --> 00:05:22,341
Nikki!
113
00:05:22,441 --> 00:05:24,304
MIKE: I just wanted
to give you
the grand tour.
114
00:05:24,404 --> 00:05:28,189
This... This is
actually just
the, uh, foyer.
115
00:05:28,289 --> 00:05:30,291
You see that door
over there that
looks like a closet?
116
00:05:31,253 --> 00:05:33,115
That's the east wing.
117
00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:36,400
You got your
dining room, parlor,
bowling alley.
118
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,443
And over there?
119
00:05:38,543 --> 00:05:40,846
Uh, that's the...
That's the bedroom.
120
00:05:40,946 --> 00:05:43,089
Uh, rug, dresser,
alarm clock.
121
00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:44,451
Bed.
122
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:46,654
Bed.
123
00:05:46,754 --> 00:05:48,756
Hence, bedroom.
124
00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:52,662
Geez, you'd think
I'd never brought
a woman up here before.
125
00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:55,025
Now wait,
not that I...
126
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:57,068
you know,
bring a lot
of women up here.
127
00:05:57,168 --> 00:06:00,132
I mean, you know,
just enough
so that I don't look pitiful.
128
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,619
But... But not so many
that I look sleazy.
129
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,403
And how many is that?
130
00:06:08,503 --> 00:06:10,606
Uh, let me see. Uh...
131
00:06:10,706 --> 00:06:12,708
(MUTTERS)
132
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:16,574
None.
133
00:06:16,674 --> 00:06:19,317
It's been a while
since I dated
anyone...
134
00:06:20,078 --> 00:06:22,081
seriously.
135
00:06:30,572 --> 00:06:33,116
But I'm feeling much
better about it now.
136
00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:36,040
Uh, listen, since
you did pay
for the grand tour,
137
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,443
if I didn't show you
the bedroom,
138
00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:41,667
they'd probably take
away my National Parks
license.
139
00:06:42,909 --> 00:06:44,912
You, uh...
140
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,215
sure you want
to go in there?
(CHUCKLES)
141
00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:49,218
You sound like there's
somebody waiting
on the other side
142
00:06:49,318 --> 00:06:51,100
holding a pie.
143
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,203
No.
144
00:06:53,684 --> 00:06:55,686
Not this time.
145
00:07:01,134 --> 00:07:02,596
Um...
146
00:07:02,696 --> 00:07:05,600
You think
you remember
how this works?
147
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,624
Uh, I figure
it's like
riding a bike.
148
00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:12,930
I mean,
I may fall off
a few times,
149
00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:16,715
but after a few minutes
I'll be standing
on the handle bars.
150
00:07:21,681 --> 00:07:23,784
Well, it's just
so nice to finally
meet one of Mike's
151
00:07:23,884 --> 00:07:25,887
young lady friends.
152
00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:28,290
Just so lovely.
153
00:07:29,652 --> 00:07:32,356
Mom, Dad, you're
embarrassing me.
154
00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:34,158
Well, we approve.
155
00:07:34,258 --> 00:07:36,261
Special, special,
special.
156
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:40,366
Well, I... I have to
get going to class.
157
00:07:40,466 --> 00:07:41,929
It was nice
meeting all of you.
158
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,031
You be careful.
You kids be safe.
159
00:07:46,755 --> 00:07:48,698
She's pretty cool,
don't you think?
160
00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:51,381
I'm sure I've met her
somewhere before.
161
00:07:51,481 --> 00:07:53,344
Do you think
she seems familiar
'cause she's a woman
162
00:07:53,444 --> 00:07:55,447
and she doesn't
want anything
to do with you?
163
00:07:58,891 --> 00:08:02,196
Let's not forget, guys,
tonight is Councilman Farr's
bachelor party.
164
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:05,080
He's been a good friend
to the administration,
so attendance is mandatory.
165
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:08,004
Uh, bachelor party, Mike?
I've got a note
from my mother.
166
00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:10,166
It says I'm gay,
and I shouldn't be
forced to participate
167
00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:12,269
in any heterosexual
debauchery.
168
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,834
You know, unless you
actually have that note...
169
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:18,618
you're going tonight.
170
00:08:18,718 --> 00:08:21,141
Well, I think
bachelor parties
are pathetic excuses
171
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:22,623
for men to act
like little boys,
172
00:08:22,723 --> 00:08:25,147
because even though
they're about to get
married, hello,
173
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:27,910
they're still afraid
of commitment. I refuse
to be a part of it.
174
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:30,213
Well, that's great,
'cause you're
not invited.
175
00:08:31,215 --> 00:08:32,557
Why not?
176
00:08:32,657 --> 00:08:33,838
James, what's
your excuse?
177
00:08:33,938 --> 00:08:35,941
You mean
I can go? Yes!
178
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:39,926
Come in.
179
00:08:40,026 --> 00:08:41,649
Hey there,
funny face.
180
00:08:41,749 --> 00:08:43,732
Can I treat
you to dinner?
181
00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:45,654
(MOUTHS)
182
00:08:45,754 --> 00:08:48,578
Uh, dinner, no.
I can't have dinner
tonight because, uh...
183
00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:51,161
I'm not hungry.
I had a big lunch.
184
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:55,908
You said all you had
for lunch was a bagel.
185
00:08:56,008 --> 00:08:59,032
Bagels, bagels!
with an "s," bagels.
186
00:08:59,132 --> 00:09:01,235
Well, how many bagels
did you have?
187
00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:02,477
Eleven.
188
00:09:02,577 --> 00:09:04,880
Oh, my goodness!
were you in some
kind of contest?
189
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:07,924
No, no.
I was just...
Just hungry.
190
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:09,767
Oh, okay.
Well, no dinner.
191
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:11,449
Do you wanna just
go to the movies?
192
00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:14,493
You see, I can't,
because I'm going out
with the guys tonight.
193
00:09:14,593 --> 00:09:15,815
We're going to
a hockey game.
194
00:09:15,915 --> 00:09:17,577
Oh. who's playing?
195
00:09:17,677 --> 00:09:20,761
It's so tough to tell
because they're all...
They're wearing masks.
196
00:09:23,124 --> 00:09:26,349
It's okay if you want
to spend a night out
with the guys.
197
00:09:26,449 --> 00:09:29,073
I... I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm
a little on edge.
198
00:09:29,173 --> 00:09:31,115
I must be hungry...
Uh, thirsty.
199
00:09:31,215 --> 00:09:33,799
I must be thirsty.
I must be thirsty.
200
00:09:33,899 --> 00:09:35,721
Okay. So you'll
call me in
the morning?
201
00:09:35,821 --> 00:09:37,404
You betcha. Okay.
Love you.
202
00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:39,506
I love you.
Okay, bye-bye.
203
00:09:41,389 --> 00:09:43,392
Eh, piece of cake.
204
00:09:45,995 --> 00:09:47,417
(MUSIC PLAYING)
205
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,139
I wish Nikki
were here.
206
00:09:49,239 --> 00:09:50,942
Oh, yeah,
that would make
us seem less pathetic,
207
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:53,045
if we had
a woman with us.
208
00:09:53,565 --> 00:09:57,290
No. I wish Nikki
were here!
209
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,975
(MAKES A WOLF CALL)
210
00:10:10,388 --> 00:10:13,733
That's it.
That's enough. He's, uh...
He's all through now.
211
00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:15,255
Thank you.
Thank you.
212
00:10:15,355 --> 00:10:16,977
Terrific girl.
Wonderful dancer.
213
00:10:17,077 --> 00:10:19,080
She really
kept up with me.
214
00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:21,583
Listen, Paul,
management
sent me over.
215
00:10:21,683 --> 00:10:23,786
They, uh... They don't
encourage dancing along
with the performers.
216
00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:25,508
Well, what am
I supposed to do?
217
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,711
Just sit here
and watch?
218
00:10:27,811 --> 00:10:30,134
Welcome to the concept
of a strip club.
219
00:10:31,977 --> 00:10:33,239
How are you
gentlemen doing?
220
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:34,280
Ha-ha!
221
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:36,203
Yep, this is
fascinating.
222
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:40,729
It's as if the
evolutionary process
had a rewind button.
223
00:10:40,829 --> 00:10:43,893
Listen, I figure we got
about 15 more minutes
to press to the flesh here.
224
00:10:43,993 --> 00:10:45,615
Stewy, that's just
a figure of speech.
225
00:10:45,715 --> 00:10:48,579
Find Councilman Farr,
buy him a drink,
and let's get out of here.
226
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,781
All right.
227
00:10:49,881 --> 00:10:51,043
ANNOUNCER: Gentlemen,
anything you say or do
228
00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:52,825
will not be used
against you.
229
00:10:52,925 --> 00:10:55,889
So, put your hands together
for Ms. Miranda Rice.
230
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,032
STUART: Whoo!
231
00:10:58,132 --> 00:11:00,135
(CROWD CHEERING)
232
00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:11,190
See, I told you
I knew her.
233
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,180
Mike, apparently,
someone tipped
off The Post.
234
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,704
There was
a photographer at
the club last night.
235
00:11:21,804 --> 00:11:23,306
Great. I'll look
at the pictures
later, Janelle.
236
00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:25,309
Right now, let's just
plaster on a couple
of fake smiles
237
00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:26,751
and keep moving.
238
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,072
You okay?
239
00:11:28,172 --> 00:11:29,394
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just hoping this
doesn't blow up
240
00:11:29,494 --> 00:11:30,836
into some kind
of monster.
241
00:11:30,936 --> 00:11:33,279
Hey, Flaherty,
you got five bucks?
242
00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:34,721
MIKE: Sure, you want
to borrow it?
243
00:11:34,821 --> 00:11:36,524
No, I wanna earn it!
244
00:11:36,624 --> 00:11:38,967
Boom diddy
boom diddy
boom boom boom.
245
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:41,290
Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo
tchoo-tchoo.
246
00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:43,914
Chh chh chh chh! Ffff!
247
00:11:48,119 --> 00:11:50,202
Save it for
the GIs, Roberta.
248
00:11:52,405 --> 00:11:54,408
God help me.
249
00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:57,993
Mike, you're gonna
have to talk to
her eventually.
250
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,796
I tried talking
to her last night
at the club.
251
00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,919
But it was
20 bucks a song,
252
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:05,022
the music was blasting...
253
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:07,165
So basically
it cost me 100 bucks,
254
00:12:07,265 --> 00:12:10,349
and all I could make
out was "toot toot...
ahh... beep beep."
255
00:12:12,552 --> 00:12:14,675
Twenty bucks
a song. That's
pretty good money.
256
00:12:15,316 --> 00:12:16,818
Can men do this?
257
00:12:16,918 --> 00:12:19,281
Ah, men, yes.
You, no.
258
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,466
This is a tough one, Mike.
What are you gonna do?
259
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:25,430
What's he gonna do?
He's dating a stripper.
260
00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:27,192
He's gonna
get down on his
hands and knees
261
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:29,295
and worship
the ground
she gyrates on.
262
00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:33,400
I can't believe
she lied to me.
263
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,563
We're not talking about
"I had to wash my hair."
264
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,085
We're talking about
265
00:12:37,185 --> 00:12:40,610
"I had to wash my hair
in front of 150 paying
customers."
266
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:43,734
I think it's over.
I... I don't think I can
see her anymore.
267
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,837
Too expensive?
268
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,390
All right, Stuart.
now you're in that
very scary place
269
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:57,492
I like to call
the "be careful" zone.
270
00:12:58,494 --> 00:13:01,077
Maybe you should give
it more thought, Mike.
271
00:13:01,177 --> 00:13:03,601
Just can't believe
she's gonna be
out of my life.
272
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,704
(LOUD SCRIBBLING)
273
00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:10,069
"You can always
visit her at work."
274
00:13:15,997 --> 00:13:17,299
(INAUDIBLE)
275
00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:20,664
Gotta be honest.
I'm a little
disappointed, Mike.
276
00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:23,788
Well, sir,
we obviously
had no idea
277
00:13:23,888 --> 00:13:25,390
the press were
gonna show up.
278
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,793
What? No, no, no,
I'm disappointed
you made me leave.
279
00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:31,118
Looks like you guys
were having a hell
of a time here.
280
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:33,080
So, why don't we call
a press conference
for this afternoon.
281
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,323
I'll face the music.
I'll answer, you know,
a few questions.
282
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,887
I'll do whatever
I have to make sure
this stays a one-day story.
283
00:13:37,987 --> 00:13:40,130
Well, welcome
to the public eye.
284
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,133
You two do make
a handsome couple,
though.
285
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:44,336
The only thing
you can see in that
picture is her stomach.
286
00:13:44,436 --> 00:13:46,438
Well, still...
287
00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:50,624
Good morning,
sweetheart!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
288
00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:53,147
So, how was your
game last night?
289
00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:56,071
Can I have a little time
to think about that
before I answer?
290
00:13:56,171 --> 00:13:58,394
Oh, sure!
291
00:13:58,494 --> 00:14:01,859
And while you're
thinking, maybe you
might wanna read the paper.
292
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,810
Mike made me go,
and then Stuart made
me lie to you.
293
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:12,373
And who made you
ogle that woman?
294
00:14:12,473 --> 00:14:14,496
Well, it would have
been rude
not to look at her!
295
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,599
She's dancing
in my lap!
296
00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:21,065
Paul, it's all the lying
that's bothering me.
297
00:14:21,165 --> 00:14:22,867
I mean, you're
a grown man.
298
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:26,472
You're allowed to enjoy
yourself with your
sleazy, juvenile friends.
299
00:14:26,572 --> 00:14:28,575
Good morning, Claudia.
300
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,518
Stuart.
301
00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:32,620
Hey, buddy, you got
a little sweat on
your brow there.
302
00:14:35,464 --> 00:14:37,207
All right,
here's my plan.
303
00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:39,309
I'm meeting her
in a couple hours
at Nathan's.
304
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,733
I'll break up
with her there.
305
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:43,835
The hot dog place.
306
00:14:45,197 --> 00:14:47,600
What, you couldn't
get a reservation
at McDonald's?
307
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,746
Carter, it's neutral
territory.
308
00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:53,869
There's no chance
for a scene.
309
00:14:53,969 --> 00:14:55,992
It'll give me
a couple hours
to get prepared.
310
00:14:56,092 --> 00:14:58,095
Unless she
shows up early.
311
00:14:59,016 --> 00:15:01,018
Ooh, look at the time!
312
00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:03,502
You're not wearing
your watch.
313
00:15:04,223 --> 00:15:06,225
Ooh! I'm gonna
go find it.
314
00:15:09,189 --> 00:15:12,574
I got your message.
I thought I would
come by now.
315
00:15:12,674 --> 00:15:14,377
Well...
316
00:15:14,477 --> 00:15:16,479
you and your surprises!
317
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,624
Mike, let me start
by saying I'm sorry.
318
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:20,945
It's no big deal.
319
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,028
Besides, my mother
has been bugging
me all year
320
00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:25,131
for a new picture.
321
00:15:27,774 --> 00:15:31,279
I'm not going
to apologize for
what I'm doing.
322
00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:33,883
I used this job
to get through college,
323
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:36,286
and now I'm halfway
through law school.
324
00:15:36,386 --> 00:15:39,971
I work at a safe place.
I'm comfortable
with my body,
325
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:42,554
and for the first time
in my life, I am
making great money.
326
00:15:43,395 --> 00:15:45,638
Hell, I made
100 bucks off you!
327
00:15:47,401 --> 00:15:49,183
See, this is exactly
the kind of thing
328
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,446
I needed a couple
of hours to get
prepared for.
329
00:15:53,529 --> 00:15:55,532
Okay, look. I...
330
00:15:56,813 --> 00:16:00,458
I guess I just never...
pictured myself
with a...
331
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:05,225
with the kind of
woman who dances
in a strip club.
332
00:16:06,106 --> 00:16:08,209
I guess I never
saw myself
333
00:16:08,309 --> 00:16:10,312
with a guy who
frequents them.
334
00:16:11,393 --> 00:16:13,336
Yeah, well, I was
there for my job.
335
00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:15,438
So was I.
336
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,264
You had to know
the position you
were putting me in.
337
00:16:19,364 --> 00:16:20,866
I know. I'm sorry.
338
00:16:20,966 --> 00:16:22,708
You're right.
I'm just being
defensive.
339
00:16:22,808 --> 00:16:24,230
It's all my fault.
340
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:27,154
I should have
told you everything
in the first place, but I...
341
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,257
didn't wanna lose you.
342
00:16:30,779 --> 00:16:34,023
Mike...
I'm crazy about you.
343
00:16:34,825 --> 00:16:36,827
(SIGHS)
344
00:16:38,029 --> 00:16:40,072
All right, go on.
You're in kind of
a good area there.
345
00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:47,261
Have you ever been
with someone
346
00:16:47,361 --> 00:16:49,825
and it's so intense
and so passionate
347
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:53,670
that it feels like
a fireball,
348
00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:56,834
and whenever
you're within five feet
of that person,
349
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,937
you feel like
you have to...
350
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,411
I hope you were
gonna say
kiss them,
351
00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:11,514
or I'll feel like
a complete idiot.
352
00:17:12,155 --> 00:17:13,136
It's conference time.
353
00:17:13,236 --> 00:17:14,218
MIKE: Uh, yeah, okay.
354
00:17:14,318 --> 00:17:16,300
Mike, wait.
What are we saying here?
355
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,404
I'm saying, uh,
I'll be back in
a couple of minutes.
356
00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:25,653
She seems to be
taking it well.
357
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:30,920
Mike, Mike,
do you have any
comment at all
358
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:32,923
about the
appropriateness
of city employees
359
00:17:33,023 --> 00:17:35,546
frequenting
these kinds of
establishments?
360
00:17:37,028 --> 00:17:39,031
No, I don't.
361
00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:42,175
How did Councilman Farr's
fiancee feel about this?
362
00:17:42,275 --> 00:17:44,999
Well, technically,
she's no longer his fiancee.
363
00:17:47,282 --> 00:17:50,026
Uh, I understand
the both of them
are in counseling,
364
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:52,028
and we wish them the best.
365
00:17:52,128 --> 00:17:55,153
What about rumors
that you're dating
one of the strippers?
366
00:17:55,253 --> 00:17:58,798
You know that in
a perfect world, that's
none of your damn business.
367
00:17:58,898 --> 00:18:01,121
But we all know we don't
live in a perfect world
368
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:03,324
and you people tend
to like things in terms
of black and white...
369
00:18:03,424 --> 00:18:05,166
Excuse me, Mike.
370
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,269
James, do you mind?
I'm kinda hitting
a high point here.
371
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,834
I... I think you
should read this.
372
00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:14,459
Uh, sir, can you
cover for me?
373
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,021
Sure, yeah.
not a problem.
374
00:18:16,121 --> 00:18:17,623
ALL: Mr. Mayor!
Mr. Mayor!
375
00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,666
No, no, no!
We need some order here,
and we're gonna get it!
376
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,569
I'm responding to the
questions alphabetically.
377
00:18:24,091 --> 00:18:26,555
Now, anyone
whose last name
starts with an "A,"
378
00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,758
hands up.
379
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,642
Don't get me wrong this is...
This is a really cute note,
380
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:32,963
but I'm kind of
working out there.
381
00:18:33,063 --> 00:18:34,766
Mike, what are
you doing in there?
382
00:18:34,866 --> 00:18:36,448
I mean, right now
it's just a couple
383
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,731
of embarrassing
pictures from
a bachelor party,
384
00:18:38,831 --> 00:18:40,413
but before you
start jeopardizing
your career,
385
00:18:40,513 --> 00:18:43,458
don't you think
we should finish
our conversation?
386
00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:46,702
We did finish
our conversation.
We kissed.
387
00:18:46,802 --> 00:18:49,105
That's the way I end
all my conversations.
388
00:18:49,205 --> 00:18:52,830
Now if you let me go
I'll go back in there,
I'll finish up, I'll...
389
00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:56,515
kiss all the
reporters and...
come back out here.
390
00:18:56,615 --> 00:18:59,058
You never told me
how you feel
about what I do.
391
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:01,842
Now?
392
00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:04,566
Yeah, now.
393
00:19:04,666 --> 00:19:08,711
Okay, look, I... I just
always pictured myself
with a woman who...
394
00:19:09,913 --> 00:19:12,597
would get undressed
at the end of the day.
395
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:19,186
I pretty much assumed
the rest of the day
she'd stay dressed.
396
00:19:19,286 --> 00:19:22,210
Is this a problem
that we can't
get over?
397
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:24,993
Well, I guess we'll
find out eventually.
398
00:19:25,093 --> 00:19:26,796
That's an awful
big chance to take
399
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:28,718
considering
the consequences.
400
00:19:28,818 --> 00:19:30,280
Yeah, well,
you know what, though?
401
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,323
I think it's a chance
that I'm... I'm...
402
00:19:32,423 --> 00:19:34,967
you know,
pretty sure I...
403
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,790
I definitely maybe
want to take.
404
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:41,656
Geez, Mike, get
down on one knee
and say that,
405
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,739
and I'm yours forever.
406
00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:46,302
You're right,
you're right. You know
what? I'm ready.
407
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,904
I am ready.
408
00:19:48,004 --> 00:19:51,289
I'm sure a part
of you is ready.
409
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,795
But I think
that there is
another part of you
410
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,480
that would find it
a lot easier if I
just walked away.
411
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,163
Yeah, but the part
of me that's ready
412
00:20:02,263 --> 00:20:04,827
is like really,
really ready.
413
00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:08,492
And the part
of you that's not?
414
00:20:08,592 --> 00:20:10,595
We don't listen to him.
415
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:19,246
He's Mr. Negativity.
416
00:20:23,732 --> 00:20:25,715
I don't know.
this...
417
00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:27,818
This is hard.
418
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,382
What... What do you think
we should do?
419
00:20:33,185 --> 00:20:34,527
As I understand it,
420
00:20:34,627 --> 00:20:36,690
the boys were unaware that
this particular establishment
421
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,792
featured adult entertainment.
422
00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:43,198
Okay, uh... "G."
423
00:20:45,441 --> 00:20:49,627
Didn't the big neon
sign tip them off?
424
00:20:49,727 --> 00:20:52,311
Unfortunately, one of
the letters had burned out.
425
00:20:52,411 --> 00:20:55,595
And what exactly
did they expect to find
426
00:20:55,695 --> 00:20:58,098
in a 100% nud bar?
427
00:21:00,822 --> 00:21:02,825
Pure nud.
428
00:21:04,026 --> 00:21:06,029
ALL: Mike. Mike.
429
00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:09,253
Mike, just clear up
one thing.
430
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:12,698
Are you or are you not
currently dating
one of the dancers?
431
00:21:12,798 --> 00:21:16,263
If your question is
am I dating a beautiful,
432
00:21:16,363 --> 00:21:19,107
attractive law student
who happens to have a...
433
00:21:19,207 --> 00:21:22,731
part-time job in the legal
and lucrative world
of exotic dancing...
434
00:21:24,173 --> 00:21:26,897
Uh... Uh... no.
435
00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:29,621
No, I'm not.
436
00:21:30,181 --> 00:21:32,184
Okay, what letter
are we on?
437
00:21:32,865 --> 00:21:34,247
H.
H, H.
438
00:21:34,347 --> 00:21:35,809
Okay, let's get moving
or we'll be here
all night.
439
00:21:35,909 --> 00:21:37,912
Yeah, Halford.
440
00:21:38,393 --> 00:21:41,497
I don't know.
He hardly seems dominated.
441
00:21:41,597 --> 00:21:44,261
Huh. Prepare for phase 2,
442
00:21:44,361 --> 00:21:45,783
the whisper and deny.
443
00:21:45,883 --> 00:21:47,345
What?
Come here.
444
00:21:47,445 --> 00:21:49,447
(WHISPERING)
445
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:52,552
What? what?
What are you
talking about?
446
00:21:52,652 --> 00:21:54,855
Nothing, Stuart.
447
00:21:57,658 --> 00:21:59,721
What did she just...
What did she
just say to you?
448
00:21:59,821 --> 00:22:01,824
You're a feeble-minded fool.
449
00:22:05,789 --> 00:22:07,792
Granted. Now,
what did she say?