1 00:00:01,822 --> 00:00:03,564 I know I've said it before but, this time, I really mean it. 2 00:00:03,664 --> 00:00:05,926 We don't have time for any more questions. 3 00:00:06,026 --> 00:00:07,528 Yes, you in the back. 4 00:00:07,628 --> 00:00:09,850 This is regarding Mayor Winston and Holly Cohen 5 00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:11,131 from the governor's office. 6 00:00:11,231 --> 00:00:12,332 They work together, yes. 7 00:00:12,432 --> 00:00:14,094 They were seen last night at a restaurant 8 00:00:14,194 --> 00:00:16,857 eating oysters with an expensive bottle of Cabernet. 9 00:00:16,957 --> 00:00:19,499 Do you think Mrs. Winston would approve of this? 10 00:00:19,599 --> 00:00:21,181 Absolutely not. 11 00:00:21,281 --> 00:00:24,865 No, she would never order red wine with seafood. No. 12 00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:26,426 How do you respond to the rumors 13 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,588 that the mayor is romantically involved with Ms. Cohen? 14 00:00:28,688 --> 00:00:30,871 How do I respond? 15 00:00:30,971 --> 00:00:32,972 How do I respond? 16 00:00:33,893 --> 00:00:35,755 How do I respond? 17 00:00:35,855 --> 00:00:36,836 Excuse me. 18 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,399 Excuse me, Hamlet. 19 00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:42,041 I cannot believe what I'm hearing. 20 00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:45,244 So, you actually spied on the mayor during dinner. 21 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:46,646 So, what's the scoop? 22 00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:49,649 What, did the mayor have parmesan cheese on his pasta? 23 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,451 Did he have cream in his coffee? 24 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,994 And if not, what the hell is he hiding? 25 00:00:55,715 --> 00:00:56,696 But, Mike... 26 00:00:56,796 --> 00:00:58,137 No, this is pathetic. 27 00:00:58,237 --> 00:01:00,139 The mayor is a happily married man, 28 00:01:00,239 --> 00:01:01,660 and you have no story. 29 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,743 Nothing, zip, nada, the big bagel. 30 00:01:04,843 --> 00:01:07,366 Which, coincidentally, is what the mayor had for breakfast. 31 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,548 No cream cheese, 32 00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:11,310 but you probably already guessed that. 33 00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:13,712 They can be like dogs, Mike. 34 00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:18,237 Bad reporters! Bad! Bad reporters! 35 00:01:18,337 --> 00:01:20,519 Here you go, champ. 36 00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:22,621 Good, Paul. 37 00:01:24,623 --> 00:01:26,625 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 38 00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:37,295 ALL: Happy birthday, Mayor Winston, 39 00:01:37,395 --> 00:01:40,058 from all of us at Monday Night Football. 40 00:01:40,158 --> 00:01:41,139 You're the boss, Mayor. 41 00:01:41,239 --> 00:01:42,740 Yeah. Don't let anybody push you around. 42 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,542 And this is your year, big guy. 43 00:01:44,642 --> 00:01:46,664 Don't take any crap. Yeah. 44 00:01:46,764 --> 00:01:48,226 (TURNS OFF TV) 45 00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:50,148 I'm telling you, whoever came up with this idea 46 00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:51,869 of having celebrities wish the mayor happy birthday 47 00:01:51,969 --> 00:01:52,950 is a genius. 48 00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:55,112 Mike, you thought of it. 49 00:01:55,212 --> 00:01:57,595 Oh, my gosh, you're right. 50 00:01:57,695 --> 00:01:59,236 So, we're going to still go through with the party, 51 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,478 even with all this stuff 52 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:01,799 about the mayor's love life floating around? 53 00:02:01,899 --> 00:02:03,801 We want the governor to give us a bigger piece 54 00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,243 of the federal subsidy for special education programs, 55 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,006 so the mayor and Nikki, yes, Nikki, 56 00:02:09,106 --> 00:02:10,567 are working with Ms. Cohen, 57 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:12,049 yes, working with her, 58 00:02:12,149 --> 00:02:13,250 in order to make that happen. 59 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,411 End of story. 60 00:02:14,511 --> 00:02:15,813 Actually, Mike, once we finished streamlining 61 00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:17,254 the existing special ed budget, 62 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,936 the mayor kind of took me out of the loop. 63 00:02:19,036 --> 00:02:20,657 Apparently, he wanted to be 64 00:02:20,757 --> 00:02:23,039 more hands-on with the project. 65 00:02:24,801 --> 00:02:26,343 It's the mayor's 50th birthday, 66 00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:29,466 and we're not going to dignify the press's sleazy tabloid mentality 67 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,948 by changing the way we do things around here. 68 00:02:32,048 --> 00:02:34,991 Nikki, I see you sent John F. Kennedy Jr. an invite. 69 00:02:35,091 --> 00:02:36,953 Yeah, if he was on the list, I'm sure he got one. 70 00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:38,475 So, you felt it necessary to send him one 71 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,436 every day for the past three weeks? 72 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,919 I like to be thorough, Mike. 73 00:02:43,019 --> 00:02:44,761 So, you followed it up with a phone call to his apartment 74 00:02:44,861 --> 00:02:46,863 last Saturday at 1:00 a.m.? 75 00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,185 Maybe. 76 00:02:49,665 --> 00:02:51,888 Hey, Nik, don't get me wrong, uh, 77 00:02:51,988 --> 00:02:55,251 I like the Kennedy men as much as the next gal, 78 00:02:55,351 --> 00:02:56,933 but let's not use the mayor's birthday 79 00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:58,774 to further our own personal agendas. 80 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,876 Stalker. 81 00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:02,818 Stuart, don't make me bring up 82 00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:04,920 the Connie Chung restraining order. 83 00:03:09,765 --> 00:03:11,947 Okay, guest list, check. 84 00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:13,268 Birthday videos? 85 00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:14,510 Yeah, we're editing those together 86 00:03:14,610 --> 00:03:16,992 as soon as we get Stephanopoulos. 87 00:03:17,092 --> 00:03:18,353 We're playing phone tag. 88 00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:19,514 You're aware of the fact that 89 00:03:19,614 --> 00:03:20,836 in order to play phone tag with somebody, 90 00:03:20,936 --> 00:03:22,938 they have to actually call you back. 91 00:03:23,698 --> 00:03:25,000 I'm telling you, Mike, I know Steph. 92 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,041 We're like this. 93 00:03:26,141 --> 00:03:27,442 Hey, Mike, I've been playing phone tag 94 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,484 with Michelle Pfeiffer and Cindy Crawford. 95 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,586 Oh, yeah, and Santa. 96 00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:33,368 Hey, Mayor Winston... 97 00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:34,449 Happy birthday... 98 00:03:34,549 --> 00:03:37,132 From the cast of Rent. 99 00:03:37,232 --> 00:03:39,394 The cast of Rent, and they just say happy birthday? 100 00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:41,656 I mean, what's the message? 101 00:03:41,756 --> 00:03:43,758 What are we trying to say there? 102 00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:46,561 I think we're trying to say happy birthday. 103 00:03:48,322 --> 00:03:49,824 What the hell's with you? 104 00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:51,706 Let's just throw these things together, so we can get out of here. 105 00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:54,428 I, uh...I don't want to pull rank on you, 106 00:03:54,528 --> 00:03:56,530 but I almost went to film school. 107 00:04:00,294 --> 00:04:02,596 It's interesting. You know, I almost give a... 108 00:04:02,696 --> 00:04:05,159 Ah! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... 109 00:04:05,259 --> 00:04:08,462 Let us try to channel that hostility into the project. 110 00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:11,024 And action. 111 00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:19,012 Happy birthday, Mayor Winston. 112 00:04:19,112 --> 00:04:21,295 I love you, man! 113 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,896 MAN: Great job, Patrick. 114 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,338 Why am I even doing this? I don't even like the guy. 115 00:04:25,438 --> 00:04:26,780 All he talks about is the Yankees. 116 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,343 Yankees this, Yankees that. Get a life! 117 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:31,585 I'm just going to edit that last part out. 118 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,727 No, no, no. Some honesty. 119 00:04:34,127 --> 00:04:35,869 Finally. 120 00:04:35,969 --> 00:04:37,971 This, I can use. 121 00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,435 STUART: Mike, you have to relax. 122 00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:43,796 When I worked for Congressman Malins, 123 00:04:43,896 --> 00:04:45,398 the press printed lots of stories 124 00:04:45,498 --> 00:04:46,959 that said he cheated on his wife. 125 00:04:47,059 --> 00:04:50,323 Yeah, because he did, and the scandal killed his career. 126 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,124 True, but I ended up working here, 127 00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,807 and now I make a lot more money. 128 00:04:54,907 --> 00:04:56,289 No, no, no, it's pretty simple. 129 00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:58,571 See, we just take 1.5 million out of operating costs 130 00:04:58,671 --> 00:05:01,414 and reclassify it as transportation expense. 131 00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:02,615 Says right here. 132 00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:04,096 See that? Nothing. 133 00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:05,217 HOLLY: That's the answer? 134 00:05:05,317 --> 00:05:07,319 This is so exciting! 135 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,202 Yeah, I guess so. 136 00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:12,544 What? 137 00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:14,226 Well, nothing, it's just... 138 00:05:14,326 --> 00:05:16,328 You were made to wear that suit. 139 00:05:17,689 --> 00:05:18,951 You're saying I look good, right? 140 00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:20,432 Because nobody forced me to wear this. 141 00:05:20,532 --> 00:05:22,634 I pick out all my own clothes. 142 00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:24,876 Funny, too. Oh... 143 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,598 You've got the whole package. 144 00:05:26,698 --> 00:05:29,241 He wants her. (EXHALES) 145 00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:31,963 George didn't leave my name for you, huh? 146 00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:34,826 I'm not some pathetic groupie, you know. I know the man. 147 00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,049 Look at me! 148 00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:39,210 Steph! (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) 149 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,371 Steph! 150 00:05:40,471 --> 00:05:41,452 Steph! 151 00:05:41,552 --> 00:05:43,374 What? Oh, hey! Oh, hey, Steph! 152 00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:44,656 Paul, how you doing? Good to see you. 153 00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:46,177 Hey, man, good to see you. 154 00:05:46,277 --> 00:05:47,418 Listen, sorry I'm late. 155 00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:48,860 I'm doing this commentator thing over at ABC now. 156 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,501 Oh, yeah, I wouldn't know about that, 157 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,603 I don't watch that network. 158 00:05:53,404 --> 00:05:55,026 You know, Paul, I really wanted to see you 159 00:05:55,126 --> 00:05:56,867 because we're old friends, but I got to tell you, 160 00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:58,149 I kind of hoped you'd gotten 161 00:05:58,249 --> 00:05:59,390 this competitive stuff behind you. 162 00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,872 You're right, because you're you and I'm me, 163 00:06:01,972 --> 00:06:04,315 regardless of the speaker's fees or the book deal... 164 00:06:04,415 --> 00:06:06,437 Come on, Paul. You know, we're both doing well. 165 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:08,118 So, what do you need? 166 00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:10,240 Well, see, it's the mayor's 50th birthday. 167 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:12,603 You know, I'm sort of his right-hand man, like you used to be 168 00:06:12,703 --> 00:06:15,606 with, um... What's his... Um... 169 00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:16,687 Bill Clinton? 170 00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:18,208 Clinton. Clinton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 171 00:06:18,308 --> 00:06:19,489 The president? 172 00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:21,611 The president. Whatever. Titles are titles, yeah. 173 00:06:21,711 --> 00:06:22,813 You're doing it again. 174 00:06:22,913 --> 00:06:26,336 You're right. You're right. The party. Okay. 175 00:06:26,436 --> 00:06:28,058 It would really be a great favor to me if you would... 176 00:06:28,158 --> 00:06:29,179 Then I'd love to. 177 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,101 Whatever you need, Paul. You know that. 178 00:06:31,201 --> 00:06:32,702 Really? Sure. 179 00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:34,624 Oh, thank you, man. That's great. Sure. 180 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:36,746 Listen, Steph, let me just ask you something. 181 00:06:36,846 --> 00:06:38,828 Uh, you still doing that podium thing, 182 00:06:38,928 --> 00:06:40,310 leaning over with the furrowed brow? 183 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:41,791 Okay, Paul, I got to go. 184 00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:43,313 Yeah, I know, but listen. 185 00:06:43,413 --> 00:06:45,515 Do you still do that "any more questions" thing? 186 00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:47,557 Everyone says that. No. Uh-uh. No, no, no. 187 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,758 Everyone says "any further questions?" 188 00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:49,959 "Any more questions?" That was mine. 189 00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:51,561 You copied that from me. 190 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:55,444 You're a copycat! Copycat! Copycat! 191 00:06:55,544 --> 00:06:57,006 Paul, you're better than this. 192 00:06:57,106 --> 00:06:58,768 No, I'm not. 193 00:06:58,868 --> 00:07:00,529 Mayor Winston, I just want to take a second here 194 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,491 to wish you a very, very happy birthday. 195 00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:05,935 And, by the way, thank you so much for taking care of those parking tickets. 196 00:07:06,035 --> 00:07:08,057 (LAUGHING) 197 00:07:08,157 --> 00:07:11,240 But the mayor, he's, like, nuts, right? 198 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:15,144 Sir, I really need to talk to you, just the two of us. 199 00:07:15,244 --> 00:07:17,186 Now this is kind of awkward, 200 00:07:17,286 --> 00:07:19,187 so I don't really even know how to broach the subject. 201 00:07:19,287 --> 00:07:21,289 Ms. Cohen's an interesting woman, Mike. 202 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,533 Well, there you go. 203 00:07:25,894 --> 00:07:27,556 A lot easier than I thought. 204 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,518 She's committed. She's vibrant. 205 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,841 She's very passionate. Don't you think? 206 00:07:32,941 --> 00:07:35,023 Well, she certainly makes my heart skip a beat. 207 00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:37,125 Uh... 208 00:07:37,225 --> 00:07:38,847 Here's the thing. 209 00:07:38,947 --> 00:07:41,369 I know you two are spending so much time together, 210 00:07:41,469 --> 00:07:43,851 uh, because of the work, 211 00:07:43,951 --> 00:07:45,933 but the press... (SIGHS) 212 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,256 They're trying to make something more out of it. 213 00:07:48,356 --> 00:07:50,418 Hell, they're a couple days away from writing 214 00:07:50,518 --> 00:07:53,060 that you two are, uh, are an item. 215 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,983 (FORCED LAUGHING) 216 00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:59,446 I'm 50 years old, Mike, 50. 217 00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:02,750 (CLICKS TONGUE) Am I the man I wanted to be, 218 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,871 or am I just someone 219 00:08:03,971 --> 00:08:05,873 whose decisions have all been made for him? 220 00:08:05,973 --> 00:08:08,355 Well, sir, I think I can safely speak for the both of us... 221 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,837 Yeah? 222 00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:12,019 ...when I say that you are exactly the man you wanted to be. 223 00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:15,162 Now, I know this is kind of personal, 224 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,884 but I have to ask. 225 00:08:16,984 --> 00:08:19,106 Am I in love with her, Mike? 226 00:08:24,951 --> 00:08:26,953 Wow. 227 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,256 Okay, I was... I was going to ask, 228 00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:31,378 "Do you have any feelings for her?" 229 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,939 But you seem to have jumped 230 00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:35,041 a couple of rungs on me. 231 00:08:36,763 --> 00:08:39,666 (STAMMERS) So, are you, uh... 232 00:08:39,766 --> 00:08:41,768 Sir, are you, uh, 233 00:08:42,729 --> 00:08:46,632 in love with her? 234 00:08:46,732 --> 00:08:49,175 Maybe. I love the way she makes me feel. 235 00:08:49,735 --> 00:08:51,197 Okay. 236 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,119 All right, I'm going to recommend, 237 00:08:53,219 --> 00:08:57,303 if anyone asks, uh, that you say, uh, "No comment" 238 00:08:58,344 --> 00:09:00,286 over "Maybe." 239 00:09:00,386 --> 00:09:01,327 Michael... 240 00:09:01,427 --> 00:09:03,449 And by all means, stay away from, 241 00:09:03,549 --> 00:09:06,492 "I just love the way she makes me feel." 242 00:09:06,592 --> 00:09:09,254 Michael, now, Michael, there is the problem right there. 243 00:09:09,354 --> 00:09:11,897 Watching what I say, what I do... 244 00:09:11,997 --> 00:09:14,159 Everything has to be so careful. 245 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:16,982 And then I go home to Helen. 246 00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:18,584 Oh, don't get me wrong. 247 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,225 We love each other, 248 00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:22,147 But in a comfortable, relaxed, 249 00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:25,050 watching-the-evening- news-in-separate-rooms kind of way. 250 00:09:26,091 --> 00:09:29,234 I'm a man, not just a mayor, 251 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:31,236 And Holly finds me exciting, 252 00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:33,858 And I really... Really need that. 253 00:09:36,741 --> 00:09:38,743 (SIGHS) 254 00:09:42,226 --> 00:09:44,228 I find you exciting, sir. 255 00:09:47,832 --> 00:09:49,654 I wanna feel alive! I wanna... 256 00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:51,936 I want to be like those guys walking that tightrope 257 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:54,218 between two cliffs with no net! 258 00:09:54,318 --> 00:09:56,020 I don't want to discourage you, 259 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,342 but most of those guys end up a bloody mess on the side of the rocks. 260 00:09:58,442 --> 00:10:00,444 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 261 00:10:01,405 --> 00:10:02,586 We did it. 262 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,350 The governor approved every section of the proposal! 263 00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:08,512 (BOTH LAUGHING) 264 00:10:08,612 --> 00:10:10,614 Oh. Mmm... 265 00:10:15,339 --> 00:10:16,560 Whoa! Ho! 266 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,322 Whoa. That's exciting. 267 00:10:18,422 --> 00:10:20,424 Yee-ha. 268 00:10:25,388 --> 00:10:26,610 What is taking him so long? 269 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,091 The guy's going to be late for his own party. 270 00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:30,093 It's a big night for him, Mike. 271 00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:32,736 All those VIPs will be there, his coworkers, 272 00:10:32,836 --> 00:10:35,478 the woman he loves, his wife... 273 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,102 What are you doing in the limo? 274 00:10:39,202 --> 00:10:40,263 Seriously, shouldn't you be 275 00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:41,544 in the back of the catering truck? 276 00:10:41,644 --> 00:10:43,506 What? I'm just telling it how it is. 277 00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,028 Tonight is about what isn't. 278 00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:48,030 There isn't anything going on between the mayor and Holly. 279 00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:49,912 The press isn't going to be snooping around for a story, 280 00:10:50,012 --> 00:10:51,834 and my life isn't going to fall apart. 281 00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:53,356 Mike, that is classic denial. 282 00:10:53,456 --> 00:10:55,278 No, it isn't. 283 00:10:55,378 --> 00:10:56,839 The mayor is just confused, 284 00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:59,301 and he needs some time for his head to catch up with his heart. 285 00:11:03,425 --> 00:11:05,287 HELEN: Thank you. 286 00:11:05,387 --> 00:11:06,408 Mike. 287 00:11:06,508 --> 00:11:07,650 Other worker. 288 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,752 Uh, pour me a drink, please. 289 00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:12,754 Boy, you look lovely tonight, ma'am. 290 00:11:13,595 --> 00:11:15,057 And ready before your husband. 291 00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:17,059 Strike another small blow for feminism. 292 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:18,700 (CHUCKLES) He's already in another car 293 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,942 with that woman from the governor's office. 294 00:11:21,042 --> 00:11:23,665 Something about finishing up some business. 295 00:11:23,765 --> 00:11:25,267 (CHUCKLES) 296 00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:26,428 Excuse me. 297 00:11:26,528 --> 00:11:28,149 Oh, you're not going anywhere until we discuss 298 00:11:28,249 --> 00:11:29,671 the table arrangements for tonight. 299 00:11:29,771 --> 00:11:31,393 Well, much as I'd love to, ma'am, 300 00:11:31,493 --> 00:11:34,315 because your whole theory of boy, girl, boy, girl is truly inspiring, 301 00:11:34,415 --> 00:11:36,157 but I got to... 302 00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:38,039 Oh! Oh! 303 00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:40,121 What a shame. 304 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:41,162 I know. 305 00:11:41,262 --> 00:11:43,264 Oh, that's very expensive vodka. 306 00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:46,087 Happy birthday, Mayor Winston. 307 00:11:46,187 --> 00:11:48,049 Since I know you're watching, 308 00:11:48,149 --> 00:11:49,610 how do you respond to the criticism 309 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,994 that your administration is gutting social programs? 310 00:11:56,477 --> 00:11:58,019 No. If I had gotten to work with him, 311 00:11:58,119 --> 00:12:00,861 I know I could have tapped into the real Larry King. 312 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:03,504 Funny thing about a 50th birthday video 313 00:12:03,604 --> 00:12:07,187 is that it's generally only a good gift on someone's 50th birthday! 314 00:12:07,287 --> 00:12:08,749 Give me that thing. We got to get out of here. 315 00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:10,230 Wait, that thing... You know what, Carter? 316 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,192 If you don't share my artistic vision, fine. 317 00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:14,835 I certainly don't need you here, stifling the creative process. 318 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,236 You're fired! 319 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,338 Yes! 320 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,963 I never knew working on a budget could be so much fun. 321 00:12:23,063 --> 00:12:25,886 You probably never did it with champagne before. 322 00:12:25,986 --> 00:12:27,047 (CHUCKLES) No. 323 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,189 (CLINKS) Ooh! 324 00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:34,094 These last few weeks have been... 325 00:12:34,194 --> 00:12:35,495 I know. 326 00:12:35,595 --> 00:12:36,576 (SIGHS) 327 00:12:36,676 --> 00:12:38,418 So it's been the same for... 328 00:12:38,518 --> 00:12:39,579 It has. 329 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,742 Amazing. We even finish each other's... 330 00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,844 Meals? 331 00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,547 I was going to say sentences. 332 00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:49,148 Sorry. I haven't eaten since... 333 00:12:49,248 --> 00:12:51,250 Breakfast? There we go, right back on track. 334 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,715 You know, I... (CLICKS TONGUE) 335 00:12:55,815 --> 00:12:57,877 I can't believe I'm acting like this. 336 00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:01,680 If I were to step outside and look at the woman, 337 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,782 I wouldn't believe it was me. 338 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,385 It just feels 339 00:13:07,026 --> 00:13:08,527 so right. 340 00:13:08,627 --> 00:13:10,169 (SIGHS) You know? 341 00:13:10,269 --> 00:13:11,970 I know. 342 00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:13,732 (BRAKES SCREECH) 343 00:13:13,832 --> 00:13:15,494 (TAPPING ON WINDOW) 344 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,257 Hi. How are you? Whoa! 345 00:13:18,357 --> 00:13:20,779 I hope you don't mind. My limo's just a two-seater. 346 00:13:20,879 --> 00:13:21,980 (PANTING) 347 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,543 Mike, we're almost two miles from the mansion. 348 00:13:24,643 --> 00:13:25,784 How did you catch us? 349 00:13:25,884 --> 00:13:28,827 Actually, sir, it's only a mile as the crow flies. 350 00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:30,909 I would have caught you on the other side of the park, 351 00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:34,973 but Mario Andretti up there ran a couple of red lights. 352 00:13:35,693 --> 00:13:37,235 Whoo, boy! 353 00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:39,277 Well, how we doing in here? 354 00:13:39,377 --> 00:13:41,519 Hey, Mayor Winston, it's me, Rosie O'Donnell. 355 00:13:41,619 --> 00:13:44,602 Sorry I couldn't make the big bash, but I got other things to do. 356 00:13:44,702 --> 00:13:46,204 Got to stay home and dye my hair. 357 00:13:46,304 --> 00:13:47,765 Speaking of hair, yours looks nice. 358 00:13:47,865 --> 00:13:49,207 Salt-and-pepper? (CLICKS TONGUE) Cute. 359 00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:51,008 Little John Forsythe thing going on? 360 00:13:51,108 --> 00:13:53,611 I like it. You're a good-looking guy. 361 00:13:53,711 --> 00:13:56,073 You're no Tom Cruise, but then again, who is? 362 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,902 CARTER: So, let me get this straight. 363 00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:06,463 You went to Stephanopoulos' office. 364 00:14:06,563 --> 00:14:08,385 He graciously agreed not only to do a video, 365 00:14:08,485 --> 00:14:10,988 but also to show up here tonight, 366 00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:13,090 and then you beat him up. 367 00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:15,152 We have issues. 368 00:14:15,252 --> 00:14:16,553 Paul, we're friends. 369 00:14:16,653 --> 00:14:18,395 Why don't you just admit you don't know the guy? 370 00:14:18,495 --> 00:14:19,636 But I do! 371 00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:20,757 No, no, I do! 372 00:14:20,857 --> 00:14:24,121 Look. Look. These are his teeth marks, see? 373 00:14:24,221 --> 00:14:26,863 That is so sad. You actually bit yourself. 374 00:14:28,705 --> 00:14:29,646 Please. 375 00:14:29,746 --> 00:14:31,888 Okay. Snapshots of the happy couple. 376 00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:32,969 Very good. We like that. 377 00:14:33,069 --> 00:14:34,371 All right, everybody, huddle up. 378 00:14:34,471 --> 00:14:36,693 Close your eyes. I want to paint you a mental picture. 379 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,535 The mayor's very vulnerable tonight. 380 00:14:38,635 --> 00:14:40,416 There are a lot of reporters here, 381 00:14:40,516 --> 00:14:45,021 and also in attendance is a woman I will refer to simply as "the shark." 382 00:14:45,121 --> 00:14:49,705 Whereas the mayor, the mayor is like an older, slow-moving sea lion. 383 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,787 (IMITATES JACQUES COUSTEAU) I will stay aboard the Calypso 384 00:14:51,887 --> 00:14:54,110 while my assistant Mike dive into the ocean 385 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,952 to join in the life-and-death struggle 386 00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:58,774 between the shark and the noble sea lion. 387 00:15:00,896 --> 00:15:03,799 No. You're going to stay with Holly 388 00:15:03,899 --> 00:15:05,921 and make sure she stays the hell away from the mayor. All right? 389 00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,162 Think you can handle that? 390 00:15:07,262 --> 00:15:08,283 If she challenge me, 391 00:15:08,383 --> 00:15:10,906 I shall simply punch her on the snout. 392 00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:15,210 All right. Carter, I want you with Mrs. Winston. 393 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,892 Make sure she doesn't make a scene, huh? 394 00:15:16,992 --> 00:15:18,093 All right. 395 00:15:18,193 --> 00:15:19,735 Nikki, you're going to hang with the mayor. 396 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,576 Suggested topics of conversation 397 00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:24,539 include marriage, commitment, sense of duty. 398 00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:26,341 I'm just going to finish this champagne. 399 00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:28,583 Ooh! And this egg roll. Thank you. 400 00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:30,145 Eh, eh, Paul, eat this. 401 00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:32,627 Hmm. (GROANS) Hot! Hot! Hot! 402 00:15:32,727 --> 00:15:34,469 Wash it down with that. There you go. 403 00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:36,871 Oh, hey, look at you, you're all done. Away you go. 404 00:15:36,971 --> 00:15:38,833 Well, I guess that leaves me free to mingle. 405 00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:41,876 Oh, not so fast, Paul. Your task is as follows. 406 00:15:41,976 --> 00:15:44,158 There's the mayor, there's the press, and you, my friend, 407 00:15:44,258 --> 00:15:45,960 you are the Great Wall of Lassiter. 408 00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:47,602 Hiya, fellas. 409 00:15:47,702 --> 00:15:49,243 Okay, Paul will be your host for the evening. 410 00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:50,885 Me, I just came by to remind you 411 00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:52,647 that this is a party, this is not a press conference, okay? 412 00:15:52,747 --> 00:15:54,649 So, please reserve any offensive, unfounded, 413 00:15:54,749 --> 00:15:56,691 potentially libelous questions until tomorrow, 414 00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:57,812 when I will be happy 415 00:15:57,912 --> 00:15:59,493 to mislead, misdirect, and misinform you 416 00:15:59,593 --> 00:16:01,595 as per our usual arrangement. 417 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,398 That's right. I'm bad! 418 00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:09,023 You know, we've actually never had a divorce in the Faber family. 419 00:16:09,123 --> 00:16:10,304 The occasional tiff, 420 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:13,126 a couple of separations, and an assault. 421 00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,549 That was my great-aunt Edna. 422 00:16:15,649 --> 00:16:17,431 She swears to this day it was an accident. 423 00:16:17,531 --> 00:16:20,474 She was walking across the floor, taking a typewriter to my uncle Ray. 424 00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:23,456 She tripped, stabbed him repeatedly while he was sleeping. 425 00:16:25,058 --> 00:16:27,400 Hey, Mike, Mike, have you seen Ms. Cohen anywhere? 426 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,002 Uh, no, no, I haven't, Your Honor, 427 00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:30,403 but, hey, there's James, and it looks like 428 00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:32,505 he's got your birthday video in his hand. 429 00:16:33,386 --> 00:16:34,728 James. 430 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,851 Mike, I think it's a very powerful and honest piece. 431 00:16:37,951 --> 00:16:39,772 I tried to capture the mayor's... James. James. 432 00:16:39,872 --> 00:16:42,015 I'm just looking to burn a few minutes off this damn party. 433 00:16:42,115 --> 00:16:43,536 No, no, no. I'm sorry, Mike, 434 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,778 I need some time to come to terms with letting this go. 435 00:16:45,878 --> 00:16:47,880 All right, no problem. 436 00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:50,202 There, how's that? Lights! 437 00:16:52,405 --> 00:16:55,428 If you like it, I have a six-hour director's cut. 438 00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:57,149 ALL: Happy... No Tom Cruise, but then again... 439 00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:58,791 Get a life... Life... Life... 440 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,593 How do you respond... I don't even like the guy! 441 00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,715 I know you're watching... Watching... Watching... 442 00:17:02,815 --> 00:17:03,876 I just want to take a second here... 443 00:17:03,976 --> 00:17:04,957 Birth... ALL: ...day! 444 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,999 PATRICK EWING: I love you, man! 445 00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:08,200 Why am I doing this? 446 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,802 Yeah, don't let anybody push you around! 447 00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:11,643 Thank you for taking care of those parking tickets. 448 00:17:11,743 --> 00:17:13,005 If you think about it... Mayor... 449 00:17:13,105 --> 00:17:15,167 ALL: Winston... This is your year, big guy. 450 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,648 The administration is gutting... 451 00:17:16,748 --> 00:17:18,730 Send over a piece of cake... Cake... Cake... 452 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,372 Real original. 453 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,494 And don't take any cr-cr-crap. 454 00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,596 Yeah. 455 00:17:32,444 --> 00:17:34,445 What? 456 00:17:35,126 --> 00:17:38,369 NIKKI: And my other great-aunt was married for 57 years. 457 00:17:41,132 --> 00:17:43,034 Nikki, why don't I tag in now? 458 00:17:43,134 --> 00:17:45,717 You're just in time. I'm down to my last aunt. 459 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,818 Happy birthday, sir. Thank you. 460 00:17:48,659 --> 00:17:50,882 Thanks for the rescue, Mike. 461 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,984 She's excruciatingly dull. 462 00:17:53,544 --> 00:17:55,086 Well, sir, this thing is winding down. 463 00:17:55,186 --> 00:17:57,168 What say you grab the missus and we head out of here? 464 00:17:57,268 --> 00:17:58,449 I can't leave, Mike. 465 00:17:58,549 --> 00:18:00,251 I promised Holly I'd save the last dance for her. 466 00:18:00,351 --> 00:18:04,475 Oh, yeah. The traditional mayoral dance of death. 467 00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:10,340 Sir, you are aware that all those people over there with cameras 468 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,822 are not tourists? 469 00:18:11,922 --> 00:18:15,145 Bondek, I don't have the patience to ask you again. 470 00:18:15,245 --> 00:18:17,588 Leave me alone, or I'll have you terminated. 471 00:18:17,688 --> 00:18:18,709 You can't fire me. 472 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:20,811 I meant killed. 473 00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:24,995 You promised you'd save the last dance for me. 474 00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:27,357 Well, I'm more of a rumba man, but let's go. 475 00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:28,438 ♪♪ Dum dum dum ♪♪ 476 00:18:28,538 --> 00:18:30,540 ♪♪ Oh! ♪♪ 477 00:18:31,101 --> 00:18:33,103 No. 478 00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:35,565 Mr. Mayor. 479 00:18:35,665 --> 00:18:37,767 I'd like to dedicate this next song to the mayor. 480 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,169 Uno, dos, tres, cuatro! 481 00:18:39,269 --> 00:18:41,551 (PLAYING UP-TEMPO LATIN MUSIC) 482 00:18:42,231 --> 00:18:44,233 ♪♪ Whrrrraah! ♪♪ 483 00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:48,578 Michael! 484 00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:51,080 ♪♪ Whrrrraah! ♪♪ 485 00:18:53,602 --> 00:18:55,865 (MUSIC STOPS) 486 00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:57,346 Bad beat, hard to dance to. 487 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:59,448 I give it a one. (DRUM STING) 488 00:18:59,849 --> 00:19:02,851 Maestro, please play something slow. 489 00:19:03,492 --> 00:19:06,255 Sorry. He's the boss. 490 00:19:08,937 --> 00:19:09,918 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 491 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,320 Uh...Toast! Toast! 492 00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,681 Toast, toast, toast. 493 00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:14,403 (GLASS CLINKING) 494 00:19:14,503 --> 00:19:17,165 Uh, we are here to honor a great man 495 00:19:17,265 --> 00:19:20,529 on this, the occasion of his 50th birthday, 496 00:19:20,629 --> 00:19:25,534 and I would like to do that by reading a few passages 497 00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:27,636 from the Bible. 498 00:19:31,199 --> 00:19:32,741 Does anyone, uh, 499 00:19:32,841 --> 00:19:34,222 have one on them? 500 00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:36,825 All right, Michael, that's enough. 501 00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,706 You're embarrassing me. Come here. 502 00:19:38,806 --> 00:19:40,468 MIKE: Sir... 503 00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:43,911 I don't care, sir, 'cause this dance, Mr. Mayor... 504 00:19:44,011 --> 00:19:46,114 I know. It's political suicide. 505 00:19:46,214 --> 00:19:49,457 To tell you the truth, I could probably spin this so it wouldn't kill you. 506 00:19:50,618 --> 00:19:52,620 I'm coming to you as a friend. 507 00:19:53,421 --> 00:19:57,785 There are a lot of guys who could do this and feel nothing, 508 00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,868 but you're not one of those guys. 509 00:20:01,629 --> 00:20:03,631 You're going to regret this. 510 00:20:04,431 --> 00:20:06,053 You're going to get hurt. 511 00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:08,475 You let me be the judge of that. 512 00:20:09,636 --> 00:20:11,638 Randall, 513 00:20:11,999 --> 00:20:14,001 just don't do this. 514 00:20:16,363 --> 00:20:18,365 Did you just call me Randall? 515 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:23,350 Yeah. Yeah, I did. 516 00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:26,573 Look, I don't have a whole lot in my life I can hold on to, 517 00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:30,877 but I've always respected you 518 00:20:30,977 --> 00:20:32,979 more than anyone I've ever worked with, 519 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,663 more than anyone I ever knew, 520 00:20:37,784 --> 00:20:40,306 and I don't want to lose that, 521 00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:42,609 Randall. 522 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,410 It's my birthday, 523 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,153 and I'm going to at least have one dance. 524 00:20:53,879 --> 00:20:55,881 I'm really sorry. 525 00:21:01,887 --> 00:21:04,109 Would you do this poor old fool the honor of a dance 526 00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:06,392 on his 50th birthday? 527 00:21:06,492 --> 00:21:08,494 Now? 528 00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,017 Of course I will. 529 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:18,964 Nice job! 530 00:21:19,064 --> 00:21:21,066 Talk about your damage control. 531 00:21:21,786 --> 00:21:22,728 Stuart, 532 00:21:22,828 --> 00:21:25,350 everything I said, I meant. 533 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,093 It came from the heart. 534 00:21:28,193 --> 00:21:31,596 Uh-huh. How long you been saving that call-him-Randall thing? 535 00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:34,959 About six months. 536 00:21:38,403 --> 00:21:40,405 Look what just showed up. 537 00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,393 Happy birthday, Mr. Mayor. 538 00:21:49,493 --> 00:21:51,876 Oh, and, Paul? Don't worry. 539 00:21:51,976 --> 00:21:53,758 You and I are still friends. 540 00:21:53,858 --> 00:21:56,100 You need help, but we're still friends. 541 00:21:57,141 --> 00:21:58,322 (CHUCKLES) 542 00:21:58,422 --> 00:22:01,405 Nobody here to see it. (LAUGHS) He did it again. 543 00:22:01,505 --> 00:22:04,488 I don't know what the big deal is with that guy, anyway. 544 00:22:04,588 --> 00:22:06,590 Everything he does, he copied from me.