1
00:00:01,967 --> 00:00:03,309
Folks, in about
five minutes,

2
00:00:03,409 --> 00:00:05,150
the Mayor's
going to stand up
in front of the press

3
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:08,273
and continue moving
forward with our plan to
"streamline" the budget.

4
00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:09,474
Nice way of
putting it, Mike.

5
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,697
"Streamline"
Very innocuous,
very soothing.

6
00:00:14,659 --> 00:00:15,640
Paulie, tell you what.

7
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:17,602
When I raise my hand
like this,

8
00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:19,984
that means
I want you to critique
my word choice, okay?

9
00:00:20,825 --> 00:00:22,206
Sounds like a plan.

10
00:00:22,306 --> 00:00:23,768
Now, I know it hasn't
been a lot of fun
around here lately,

11
00:00:23,868 --> 00:00:27,972
but that's just
the way it is when
you're streamlining.

12
00:00:28,072 --> 00:00:31,615
We ran on a platform
of no budget cuts
and no layoffs,

13
00:00:31,715 --> 00:00:32,816
and we're about to
announce that

14
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:34,498
we're cutting the budget
and laying people off.

15
00:00:34,598 --> 00:00:36,900
Does anyone else see
the irony in that?

16
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,023
We could get the guy
that did the Crazy Eddie
commercials.

17
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,504
"We're slashing!
We're cutting!

18
00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:43,806
"Budgets so low,
we're practically
giving city hall away!"

19
00:00:46,889 --> 00:00:48,891
I saw the irony
in that.

20
00:00:50,893 --> 00:00:52,394
I got to tell you, Mike,
I have been living

21
00:00:52,494 --> 00:00:53,796
with this budget
for months.

22
00:00:53,896 --> 00:00:55,077
It's fiscally sound.

23
00:00:55,177 --> 00:00:56,678
Nikki's right.
All of our cost increases

24
00:00:56,778 --> 00:00:58,560
have been
kept well below
inflation levels.

25
00:00:58,660 --> 00:00:59,641
Great. We'll
just tell that

26
00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:00,842
to all the people
we're firing today.

27
00:01:00,942 --> 00:01:02,944
I'm sure it'll
perk them right up.

28
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:07,128
Ah, frustrated.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.

29
00:01:07,228 --> 00:01:09,050
I accept.

30
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,251
I wasn't
apologizing to you.

31
00:01:10,351 --> 00:01:11,332
I was apologizing
to Nikki.

32
00:01:11,432 --> 00:01:13,434
I accept for Nikki.

33
00:01:13,994 --> 00:01:15,576
I have the answer.

34
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,339
The annual public schools
"Mayor For A Day"
essay contest winner

35
00:01:18,439 --> 00:01:20,060
is due here any minute.

36
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,902
Ah. Another
public relations gem

37
00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:22,943
from the man
who brought you

38
00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:25,345
The Muffins With
The Mayor program.

39
00:01:25,445 --> 00:01:27,667
If the kid is cute,
it could be
a good distraction.

40
00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:29,949
The press eats up
that wide-eyed
innocent stuff.

41
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,631
Yeah. It's worth
a shot.

42
00:01:31,731 --> 00:01:33,733
Fetch the boy.

43
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,635
We'll parade him out
in front of the press,

44
00:01:35,735 --> 00:01:37,997
get a few photo ops,
and then we'll release
him back into society,

45
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,579
well on his way
to becoming a cynical,
disillusioned adult.

46
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:43,862
Great. Maybe someday
he'll be able to work here.

47
00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,305
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

48
00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:01,058
As you all should know,

49
00:02:01,158 --> 00:02:03,421
balancing the city budget
is tricky business.

50
00:02:03,521 --> 00:02:04,982
As a matter of fact,
the budget for the city

51
00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:07,504
is not unlike the budget
you might have
in your own home,

52
00:02:07,604 --> 00:02:08,746
Except, of course,
we're dealing with

53
00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:09,987
billions of dollars here,

54
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,089
and in your own home,
you're probably not.

55
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:16,012
(COUGHS)
Take a few questions.

56
00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:18,034
Know what? I'll take
a few questions.

57
00:02:18,134 --> 00:02:19,115
Yeah.

58
00:02:19,215 --> 00:02:20,717
Sir, the general
feeling of the public

59
00:02:20,817 --> 00:02:22,719
seems to be that you're
completely out of touch

60
00:02:22,819 --> 00:02:25,441
with the human costs
of the cuts that
you're proposing.

61
00:02:25,541 --> 00:02:27,543
That wasn't a question.

62
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,766
MAYOR: Next.

63
00:02:30,866 --> 00:02:32,287
Paulie, you see what's
happening out there?

64
00:02:32,387 --> 00:02:34,670
The Mayor's trotting out
his "that wasn't
a question" defense.

65
00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:37,132
Get me the Mayor
For a Day kid.

66
00:02:37,232 --> 00:02:38,453
Mike, let me just...

67
00:02:38,553 --> 00:02:40,255
I want the kid.
Get me the kid.
Okay, okay.

68
00:02:40,355 --> 00:02:42,357
Okay, okay.

69
00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:54,868
Mike, this is
Tommy Dugan.

70
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,970
Hi.
Hey.

71
00:02:59,252 --> 00:03:01,635
Hi. Uh... Listen,
don't you worry.

72
00:03:01,735 --> 00:03:03,276
We're going to
take real good care
of your son today.

73
00:03:03,376 --> 00:03:05,458
Well, I appreciate
that, sir, but I don't
have a son.

74
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,081
Well, your daughter.

75
00:03:08,181 --> 00:03:09,923
No.

76
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,205
You?

77
00:03:12,305 --> 00:03:14,787
(CHUCKLES)
Took a while,
but I knew you'd get there.

78
00:03:15,788 --> 00:03:16,729
Paul.

79
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,370
His essay
was postmarked

80
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:20,052
Public school
423.

81
00:03:20,152 --> 00:03:22,154
I'm... I'm
the janitor there.
Yeah.

82
00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:26,218
This contest
was supposed to be
for kids.

83
00:03:26,318 --> 00:03:27,779
Well, I hate to
ruffle your feathers,

84
00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:30,922
but the rules did say
"for children of all ages."

85
00:03:34,846 --> 00:03:36,587
All right, you guys.
I got these stats...

86
00:03:36,687 --> 00:03:38,629
Well! Who do we
have here?

87
00:03:38,729 --> 00:03:40,431
Tommy Dugan,
mayor for a day.

88
00:03:40,531 --> 00:03:42,533
You mind
if I look in there?

89
00:03:43,454 --> 00:03:45,456
How can he
be the...
Oh, don't ask.

90
00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:49,059
So is our mayor
for the day married?

91
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:51,641
Oh, I don't know.
Uh, uh...

92
00:03:51,741 --> 00:03:52,722
Paul, maybe that's
a good one

93
00:03:52,822 --> 00:03:54,824
for next year's
questionnaire.

94
00:03:58,868 --> 00:04:00,370
Right after, uh...

95
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,471
"Are you a grown man?"

96
00:04:05,074 --> 00:04:06,015
TOMMY:
Am I married?

97
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,416
Do I have a son?
Do I have a daughter?

98
00:04:07,516 --> 00:04:09,958
This really is
a family-oriented
administration.

99
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,822
Look, uh,
Tommy, uh...

100
00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:15,984
I... We appreciate
your efforts,

101
00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:19,547
and I'm sure
that your essay
was topnotch.

102
00:04:19,647 --> 00:04:21,349
And trust me
you'll get
your certificate,

103
00:04:21,449 --> 00:04:24,332
you'll get that
photo of you on
the mayor's lap...

104
00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:30,317
But you have
to understand.

105
00:04:30,417 --> 00:04:31,919
We can't
take you out there
and introduce you...

106
00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:34,081
Mike, you may
want to take
a look at this.

107
00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:36,183
Excuse me, uh, Tommy.

108
00:04:37,064 --> 00:04:39,846
That wasn't
a question, either.

109
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,089
I asked if you plan
to announce any other
budget cuts today.

110
00:04:43,189 --> 00:04:45,191
Yes, but your voice
didn't go up at the end.

111
00:04:48,474 --> 00:04:50,476
Welcome aboard,
little fella.

112
00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,299
Oh! Aw...

113
00:04:53,399 --> 00:04:55,301
This is good news.

114
00:04:55,401 --> 00:04:57,543
The winner of our
public schools

115
00:04:57,643 --> 00:04:59,925
Mayor For a Day
essay contest is here.

116
00:05:01,086 --> 00:05:03,088
Now, that's exciting,
isn't it?

117
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:05,791
Okay. Let's meet him now.

118
00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:07,972
From public school 423
in Brooklyn,

119
00:05:08,653 --> 00:05:10,655
little Tommy Dugan.

120
00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:14,499
It's an honor, sir.

121
00:05:15,139 --> 00:05:16,521
Who the hell are you?

122
00:05:16,621 --> 00:05:18,282
Tommy Dugan, sir.
What?

123
00:05:18,382 --> 00:05:20,444
You know,
I could do without
the "little" part.

124
00:05:20,544 --> 00:05:22,626
That doesn't exactly
help with the
ladies, you know?

125
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,088
Mr. Dugan...
Mr. Dugan...

126
00:05:25,188 --> 00:05:26,970
Oh, just
call me Tommy

127
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:29,012
Or, you know,
Mayor Tommy.
Whatever.

128
00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:31,535
This has to be a joke.

129
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,877
Well, now,
that wasn't really
a question, was it?

130
00:05:38,761 --> 00:05:40,623
So, Mayor Tommy,

131
00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:42,345
how did you end up
getting this job?

132
00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,226
Well, heart
and desire, sir.

133
00:05:44,326 --> 00:05:45,548
I think I just
wanted it

134
00:05:45,648 --> 00:05:47,649
more than some
of the other kids.

135
00:05:49,051 --> 00:05:51,393
Are you a democrat
or a republican?

136
00:05:51,493 --> 00:05:54,116
Well, ma'am, now
that I'm officially
a politician,

137
00:05:54,216 --> 00:05:55,397
let me ask you,

138
00:05:55,497 --> 00:05:57,499
what do you
want me to be?

139
00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:01,883
REPORTER: Well, fine.

140
00:06:01,983 --> 00:06:05,326
How do you feel
about the proposed
10-cent fare hike?

141
00:06:05,426 --> 00:06:08,409
Well, I guess
that really depends on
what it's going for.

142
00:06:08,509 --> 00:06:11,211
You know, uh,
if it's going
for public schools,

143
00:06:11,311 --> 00:06:14,695
heck, you know,
I'd be willing to kick in
a couple of dimes.

144
00:06:14,795 --> 00:06:17,938
The school that
I work at is so crowded

145
00:06:18,038 --> 00:06:21,421
that they are actually
having some classes
in the bathrooms.

146
00:06:21,521 --> 00:06:24,224
I guess there's
some pluses.

147
00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:25,785
If a kid's
in English class,

148
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,226
he needs to go
to the bathroom,

149
00:06:27,326 --> 00:06:29,328
he can always
pick up a little math
while he's in there.

150
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:36,075
This guy is money.

151
00:06:36,175 --> 00:06:37,916
I know, Mike.

152
00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:39,638
I'll get rid of him
as soon as you
give me the word.

153
00:06:39,738 --> 00:06:42,461
No, no, no, Paul.
Being money is good.

154
00:06:43,341 --> 00:06:44,322
Oh.

155
00:06:44,422 --> 00:06:45,724
Oh.

156
00:06:45,824 --> 00:06:47,826
I'm usually
very hip.

157
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,330
I know.

158
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,572
ASHLEY: So you're
telling me that you
were not surprised.

159
00:06:54,672 --> 00:06:56,894
No, no, no.
Not at all.

160
00:06:56,994 --> 00:06:58,335
The fact is that
none of the finalists

161
00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:00,898
in the elementary school
essay contest

162
00:07:00,998 --> 00:07:03,000
were under 30.

163
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:05,742
Can you please
look me in the face while
you're saying that?

164
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,844
I don't think I need to.

165
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,626
I want you to admit
that you guys

166
00:07:09,726 --> 00:07:10,907
made a mistake
on this one.

167
00:07:11,007 --> 00:07:13,009
If we had, I would.
You know me.

168
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,832
Yes, I know you.

169
00:07:15,932 --> 00:07:17,353
Oh, hey!

170
00:07:17,453 --> 00:07:19,956
Good golly, Molly!
I got an idea.

171
00:07:20,056 --> 00:07:22,118
Why don't you
interview this guy?

172
00:07:22,218 --> 00:07:23,559
Mike, you know that
I made a pledge

173
00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:25,000
never to set foot
in this building

174
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,682
until I worked my way up
to the city hall beat,
you know?

175
00:07:26,782 --> 00:07:28,644
And then you call me
about some fluff interview

176
00:07:28,744 --> 00:07:30,846
with your
mayor for the day?

177
00:07:30,946 --> 00:07:32,948
Excuse me, fluff?

178
00:07:33,468 --> 00:07:35,090
Well, that makes me
feel good inside,

179
00:07:35,190 --> 00:07:36,691
especially after
all the hours

180
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,093
I spent
sifting through
those essays

181
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:41,195
until I handpicked
Tommy Dugan.

182
00:07:42,757 --> 00:07:45,579
The amazing thing is
it actually seems you
believe what you're saying.

183
00:07:45,679 --> 00:07:49,143
The goal here was
to amplify the voice
of the common man,

184
00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:51,305
and the fact
that you would spin
that simple truth

185
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:53,867
is a sad commentary
on the cynicism of
the press today.

186
00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,469
A cynicism that
is so corrosive

187
00:07:55,569 --> 00:07:57,651
it is eating away...
This is too much,
isn't it?

188
00:07:58,852 --> 00:08:00,633
Way.

189
00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:02,315
Off the record?

190
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,417
I thought he was
in the fifth grade.
Paul's an idiot.

191
00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:07,760
There he is.
There's my mayor
for a day.

192
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,482
Come on.
Give me another one.

193
00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:11,203
Ah!

194
00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:12,845
You were great out there.

195
00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:16,248
You made us look like heroes
for raising the price
of a subway token.

196
00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:17,529
Not that we're not,

197
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:19,631
but, you know, sometimes
that message gets lost.

198
00:08:21,953 --> 00:08:23,535
Tommy, you seem
to have created

199
00:08:23,635 --> 00:08:27,338
what we media gurus
like to call a buzz.

200
00:08:27,438 --> 00:08:29,500
Well, I'm just
trying to be myself,
you know?

201
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,262
I'm just
a common-sense guy.

202
00:08:31,362 --> 00:08:34,225
It's not like I'm going
to explain complicated
chemistry stuff to you,

203
00:08:34,325 --> 00:08:37,868
but I do know that
if you mix baking soda
and lemon juice,

204
00:08:37,968 --> 00:08:40,010
you can get the rust
off a urinal no problem.

205
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,294
Really? Any urinal?

206
00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:47,958
Oh, yeah, by the way.
Oh, gosh.

207
00:08:48,058 --> 00:08:51,000
You know,
I was so excited
about coming here,

208
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,123
I wanted to just, uh,
to be prepared,

209
00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:57,426
So I jotted some
stuff down on a...
Look at that guy.

210
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,369
Oh, here we go.

211
00:09:00,469 --> 00:09:04,253
Now, I hope this
isn't, you know,
out of line,

212
00:09:04,353 --> 00:09:07,616
But when Mr. Lassiter
called me to tell me
I was mayor for a day,

213
00:09:07,716 --> 00:09:09,718
he didn't explain
any parameters, so...

214
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,962
P-Paul,
you spoke to him?

215
00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:18,746
He sounded
so much younger
on the phone.

216
00:09:18,846 --> 00:09:23,010
"All public officials
must ride public
transportation.

217
00:09:24,211 --> 00:09:26,153
"New job hotline
for laid-off workers."

218
00:09:26,253 --> 00:09:28,395
Tommy, these are good.

219
00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:29,797
Let's have these
typed up.

220
00:09:29,897 --> 00:09:33,440
Just disregard
the mandatory 40% tip
for bartenders.

221
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,622
It was late,
and I was getting
free drinks.

222
00:09:38,104 --> 00:09:39,526
Good morning,
everyone.

223
00:09:39,626 --> 00:09:41,447
Little Tommy,
loved your little show
in there.

224
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:42,649
Very cute,
very likable.

225
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,750
Mike, can I see you
in the office?

226
00:09:48,194 --> 00:09:50,055
You know, uh,
Tommy, he's right.

227
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,157
You were great
in there today.

228
00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:53,659
Oh, thanks.

229
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:54,820
You know, it's weird.

230
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,142
I used to get so nervous
talking to people.

231
00:09:57,242 --> 00:10:00,745
It was like I felt
like my tongue didn't
fit in my mouth.

232
00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,987
Oh, right. Sure.

233
00:10:03,087 --> 00:10:04,028
No, seriously.

234
00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:07,071
Yeah, I'd want to just,
I don't know,

235
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:10,154
just walk up to a pretty girl,
you know, like yourself,

236
00:10:10,254 --> 00:10:12,356
and say...

237
00:10:12,456 --> 00:10:16,400
"Your hair is
the same color as leaves
at the end of autumn,

238
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,002
"You know, when they're
just so beautiful

239
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:21,104
"You can't take
your eyes off of them,"

240
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:23,727
But then I'd
open my mouth,

241
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,048
and it would just
come out like...

242
00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,150
(MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)

243
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,814
Not anymore, huh?

244
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:33,136
Oh, that was
a long time ago.

245
00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:35,237
(GARBLED)
I don't have that
problem anymore.

246
00:10:38,881 --> 00:10:41,944
So are you sure Tommy isn't
going to be a distraction
out there today?

247
00:10:42,044 --> 00:10:43,465
Well, actually, sir,

248
00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,187
he's not supposed to
be in the office for
the rest of the day.

249
00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,869
We got a
Mayor For the Day
schedule here.

250
00:10:47,969 --> 00:10:49,151
According to this,

251
00:10:49,251 --> 00:10:51,553
next he's got
a City Hall guided tour

252
00:10:51,653 --> 00:10:54,335
and then a pony ride.

253
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:01,942
Then a nap.

254
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,006
Aw, gee! A pony ride?

255
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:07,087
You got to admit it.

256
00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:08,769
He killed at that
press conference.

257
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,010
You know, I don't
understand something.

258
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:12,492
This kid can just
waltz in here off the street,

259
00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:15,175
and everybody
loves him.

260
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,536
You know,
I think the answer

261
00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:19,779
might be in this
focus group report.

262
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,781
I thought we were
done with those, Mike.

263
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,182
We had that one
last focus group,

264
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:26,325
and their
recommendation was
more focus groups.

265
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:29,668
I'm not interested
in the results.

266
00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:34,433
Well, they say some
very nice things about
your honor in here.

267
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,615
No. I don't care.
What kind of things?

268
00:11:37,736 --> 00:11:39,037
You might want
to read it.

269
00:11:39,137 --> 00:11:42,200
(SIGHS)
I'm not making you
any promises.

270
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,302
They like that
about you.

271
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:49,186
Page six.

272
00:11:51,509 --> 00:11:53,010
Oh, gee!
Here they come again!

273
00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:55,913
Really, all I meant
to say was...
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

274
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,221
Yeah?

275
00:12:05,321 --> 00:12:08,304
Mr. Mayor,
about this afternoon's
press conference.

276
00:12:08,404 --> 00:12:10,266
They're going to
come after us hard
today, Mike,

277
00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:11,307
but have no fear.

278
00:12:11,407 --> 00:12:12,708
At lunchtime,
I went to my gym,

279
00:12:12,808 --> 00:12:15,431
did a little workout
on the speed bag,
I'm ready.

280
00:12:15,531 --> 00:12:17,533
Huh? Huh? Whoo!

281
00:12:18,574 --> 00:12:19,715
Sir, you know,
I was thinking.

282
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,677
We still got
Tommy Dugan
hanging around,

283
00:12:21,777 --> 00:12:23,158
And I thought,
I don't know,

284
00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:25,420
I thought we might
open up with him.

285
00:12:25,901 --> 00:12:27,482
What?

286
00:12:27,582 --> 00:12:29,964
I'm telling you.
Tommy Dugan could run
for mayor today and win.

287
00:12:30,064 --> 00:12:32,066
Excuse me?

288
00:12:33,308 --> 00:12:34,248
Well, not here.

289
00:12:34,348 --> 00:12:38,372
I mean in a much,
much smaller city.

290
00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:40,474
Somewhere, like,
on the west coast...

291
00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:43,997
Of Africa.

292
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:46,620
Well,
he's a good kid.

293
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,303
A damn lion tamer
with the press,
too, huh?

294
00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:50,704
You know, okay.

295
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,386
We could use
all the guns that
we got today, Mike.

296
00:12:53,486 --> 00:12:54,788
Speaking of which, sir,

297
00:12:54,888 --> 00:12:56,509
did you
get a chance to look at
the focus group results?

298
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,812
Oh, you know,
this stuff is
just nonsense.

299
00:13:01,053 --> 00:13:02,034
I mean, look.

300
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:04,196
Do you find me
detached, huh?

301
00:13:04,296 --> 00:13:06,298
Do you think
that my gestures
are threatening?

302
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,701
Uh...

303
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:12,524
Now, look at this.

304
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,646
Still
with the height.

305
00:13:14,746 --> 00:13:16,748
Will they ever
let that go?

306
00:13:20,672 --> 00:13:22,674
I'm afraid
that one's going to
keep dogging us, sir.

307
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:26,417
Thanks, everybody.
Thank you.
(ALL APPLAUDING)

308
00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:29,520
Ed, Malcolm.
Toby, I love the scarf.

309
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:34,825
How would you describe
your experience
as mayor for a day?

310
00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:38,068
Well, to tell you
the truth, Frank,
it's been great.

311
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:39,469
You know,
I've learned so much.

312
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,951
Heck, before today,

313
00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:43,273
I had no idea
how many people worked
down here at City Hall.

314
00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:44,754
How many people
do work here?

315
00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:46,436
Well, as far as
I can tell,
about half.

316
00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:48,538
(LAUGHS)

317
00:13:49,258 --> 00:13:51,320
No. I'm kidding.
I just set you up.

318
00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:54,283
Tommy, would you
ever consider running
for public office?

319
00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:56,885
No. Leave that
to the professionals.

320
00:13:56,985 --> 00:13:58,447
I mean,
these guys are great.

321
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,889
Of course, they get paid
a lot more than I do.

322
00:14:00,989 --> 00:14:02,991
All I got was lunch.

323
00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:04,693
MIKE:
Uh, thanks, Tommy.

324
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:06,094
Listen, uh, I hate
to interrupt here

325
00:14:06,194 --> 00:14:07,415
because you're
doing a great job

326
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:08,857
and we all want
to hear more
about your day.

327
00:14:08,957 --> 00:14:11,019
I just have
a couple of quick
housekeeping items

328
00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:12,380
I got to
take care of.

329
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,102
Uh, first, we're
happy to announce

330
00:14:14,202 --> 00:14:16,944
that the Christmas tree
for Rockefeller Center
is on its way,

331
00:14:17,044 --> 00:14:18,426
and, folks,

332
00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:20,107
it's the tallest one
in the history
of New York city.

333
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,189
Taller than last year?
I mean, that's great.

334
00:14:22,289 --> 00:14:23,831
What did I say?
These guys are great.

335
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,472
Thanks, Tommy, thanks.

336
00:14:25,572 --> 00:14:26,873
What's the other item?

337
00:14:26,973 --> 00:14:29,556
Uh, due to
budget restrictions,
we'll be downsizing

338
00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:31,478
the Department
of Transportation
road crews by 8%.

339
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:33,580
Okay, back
to you, Tommy.

340
00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,944
You're firing people
right before Christmas?

341
00:14:38,824 --> 00:14:40,166
Well, no, Tommy.

342
00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:42,268
We're letting them go
before the end
of the fiscal year.

343
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:47,453
And how many people
are you letting go?

344
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,936
Uh, well, we've been
able to limit it
to about 150.

345
00:14:51,036 --> 00:14:52,417
You know,
let's be honest, Mike.

346
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:56,101
There's not
a lot of freelance
pothole work out there.

347
00:14:56,201 --> 00:14:58,223
This is a bum deal
for these guys,

348
00:14:58,323 --> 00:15:00,325
even if they do get
to keep the orange vests.

349
00:15:02,126 --> 00:15:03,588
You didn't
let me finish.

350
00:15:03,688 --> 00:15:05,590
Okay? Uh...

351
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,691
They will be keeping
the orange vests.

352
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:12,076
150. You know, that is
a hell of a lot more

353
00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:14,158
than how many people
are in this room.

354
00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:15,759
How would you like to
tell all these reporters

355
00:15:15,859 --> 00:15:17,721
they don't have to
come in tomorrow?

356
00:15:17,821 --> 00:15:20,063
Oh, Tommy, if I only
had the power.

357
00:15:20,824 --> 00:15:22,825
(REPORTERS ASKING QUESTIONS)

358
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,528
TOMMY:
How great
was that, huh?

359
00:15:25,628 --> 00:15:28,891
Home run,
out of the park.

360
00:15:28,991 --> 00:15:30,092
You know,
those reporters

361
00:15:30,192 --> 00:15:32,374
are still
back there,
scribbling away.

362
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:34,176
Yeah, Tommy.
That was a real
game-winner.

363
00:15:34,276 --> 00:15:36,899
Mike, you were right.
This is definitely
not a fluff piece.

364
00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:39,001
Oh, I'm real happy
for you, hon.

365
00:15:39,761 --> 00:15:42,184
Can I talk to you
for a minute?

366
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:43,345
Okay, yeah,
just a second.

367
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:45,447
I want to do this
while I'm still on a high.

368
00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:48,970
Hey, uh...
Nikki? Um...

369
00:15:49,971 --> 00:15:52,073
Listen, would
you be interested

370
00:15:52,173 --> 00:15:54,175
in having dinner
with me tonight?

371
00:15:54,575 --> 00:15:55,716
Just like that?

372
00:15:55,816 --> 00:15:57,078
No mind games?

373
00:15:57,178 --> 00:16:00,681
No pre-date
commitment-phobia
speeches? Nothing?

374
00:16:00,781 --> 00:16:02,783
What kind of a guy
is afraid of commitment?

375
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,688
You know,
Tommy, no one in
this room right now

376
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:10,910
is interested
in doing anything
with you, okay?

377
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,076
You know, I sense
you're a little bit upset.

378
00:16:18,638 --> 00:16:21,120
You have no idea
what you just did,
do you?

379
00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:23,422
Well, I told the truth.

380
00:16:23,522 --> 00:16:25,524
Well, you get
a gold star
for that.

381
00:16:26,645 --> 00:16:29,708
Mike, there's a bunch
of angry roadworkers
downstairs.

382
00:16:29,808 --> 00:16:31,229
If you don't
meet with them,

383
00:16:31,329 --> 00:16:33,331
they're threatening to,
and I quote, "start
paving the lobby."

384
00:16:36,814 --> 00:16:38,816
So, are you going to
go talk with them?

385
00:16:39,777 --> 00:16:42,400
Well, Tom,
as a general
rule of thumb,

386
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,001
I don't have
an open-door policy

387
00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:46,524
with angry
ex-government workers,

388
00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:49,326
especially ones
who drive steamrollers.

389
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,809
Well, who do you
have an open-door
policy with, Mike?

390
00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:54,351
The people who
are paying for your
expense-account lunches?

391
00:16:55,632 --> 00:16:59,055
What exactly
is your point,
Mayor Tommy?

392
00:16:59,155 --> 00:17:01,458
Those guys
lost their jobs
today, okay?

393
00:17:01,558 --> 00:17:03,620
All they want
to do is talk.

394
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,721
And you want to know
the weird part?

395
00:17:06,682 --> 00:17:08,504
It was fun for me.

396
00:17:08,604 --> 00:17:11,427
Seriously, I got a big
spinning wheel in my office,

397
00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:14,750
and whenever
I get the urge to fire
some blue-collar workers,

398
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:17,092
I go in there,
I give that sucker a twirl.

399
00:17:18,974 --> 00:17:21,796
I know that you have
tough decisions to make.

400
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:26,161
All right? But what
you're doing is affecting
real people's lives,

401
00:17:26,261 --> 00:17:28,923
and I think that they
deserve a little respect.

402
00:17:29,023 --> 00:17:31,205
At least they deserve
someone who's going to,

403
00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:34,228
you know,
look them in the eyes.

404
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:37,932
I saw that.

405
00:17:38,032 --> 00:17:40,033
Oh! Ahhh!

406
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,297
All right, sir,
you've gone over
the speech?

407
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,458
Yes, yes, yes.

408
00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:45,779
Okay, remember,
we're going to
do this one

409
00:17:45,879 --> 00:17:47,781
according
to the focus group
recommendations.

410
00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:49,222
And remember what
we went over

411
00:17:49,322 --> 00:17:51,024
about the people-
friendly gestures.

412
00:17:51,124 --> 00:17:53,066
The shrunken thumb,
the soft chop.

413
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:55,308
No, see,
the soft chop goes
away from the torso.

414
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,410
Never toward.
Always away.
Always away.

415
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,231
I got it, Paul.

416
00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:00,392
As far as
the height issue,

417
00:18:00,492 --> 00:18:01,834
we've raised
the podium

418
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:05,437
to give the illusion
that you're not
quite so tall.

419
00:18:05,537 --> 00:18:07,539
What are you,
Doug Henning?

420
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,502
Anytime
you're ready, sir.

421
00:18:22,193 --> 00:18:23,254
Ladies and gentlemen,

422
00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:25,396
it has been a trying time
for me lately

423
00:18:27,558 --> 00:18:29,560
and for this
administration,

424
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,162
But I truly believe that...

425
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,366
There are
better days ahead.

426
00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:41,210
I stand before you
a new mayor,

427
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:44,453
new ideas,

428
00:18:45,134 --> 00:18:47,136
lots of new stuff.

429
00:18:47,536 --> 00:18:49,478
Oh, forget it.
Come on, this is...

430
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:51,580
Look, this is me,
huh?

431
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,042
I'm still this tall.

432
00:18:54,142 --> 00:18:55,644
Let me tell you
something.

433
00:18:55,744 --> 00:18:56,925
I'm making
these budget cuts

434
00:18:57,025 --> 00:18:59,247
because they need
to be made for the city.

435
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,169
If you don't like the way
I'm doing it, fair enough.

436
00:19:01,269 --> 00:19:02,650
Just don't vote for me
next time.

437
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,752
Let's just forget
all these gimmicks, okay?

438
00:19:05,713 --> 00:19:07,335
All right,
how about some questions?

439
00:19:07,435 --> 00:19:09,457
Mr. Mayor, how do you
respond to accusations

440
00:19:09,557 --> 00:19:11,018
that your administration
is out of touch

441
00:19:11,118 --> 00:19:12,940
with the needs and
the cares of the people?

442
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,342
I speak for every member
of my administration

443
00:19:15,442 --> 00:19:18,025
when I say that
we do not like to see

444
00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:20,347
people losing their jobs
any more than you do,

445
00:19:20,447 --> 00:19:22,349
But what annoys me,
what really frustrates me,

446
00:19:22,449 --> 00:19:24,151
is every single person
sitting in this room

447
00:19:24,251 --> 00:19:26,252
has been here long enough
to know that.

448
00:19:28,174 --> 00:19:30,036
But still,
I guess you just need

449
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,138
a bad guy to sell
your newspapers.

450
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:35,201
That's all.

451
00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:37,523
(REPORTERS MURMURING
INDISTINCTLY)

452
00:19:37,623 --> 00:19:39,745
Yeah, that's all right.
I'll... I'll handle it.

453
00:19:54,519 --> 00:19:56,521
All right,
this isn't
going to work.

454
00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:01,986
Just wanted to come
to say good-bye
and thank you.

455
00:20:02,086 --> 00:20:03,387
Oh, not at all.

456
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:04,828
Oh, hey,
great interview
with Ashley.

457
00:20:04,928 --> 00:20:06,190
See yourself on TV?

458
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,751
Oh, yeah,
that was so cool.

459
00:20:07,851 --> 00:20:09,393
You know, I never
been on TV before

460
00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:11,495
When I wasn't
doing this.

461
00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:16,439
Well, as long
as you had fun.

462
00:20:16,539 --> 00:20:20,123
Oh, it was great,
maybe the best day
of my life.

463
00:20:20,223 --> 00:20:22,845
Well,
you got to come back
and see us sometime.

464
00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:26,449
You mean that?
No, not at all.
Just being polite.

465
00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:29,051
I guess it will
just have to wait
till next year, then.

466
00:20:29,151 --> 00:20:31,553
I've already started
outlining my essay.
It's a doozie.

467
00:20:32,955 --> 00:20:34,956
Till then.

468
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:37,919
Oh, still around,
fellas?

469
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,621
Tommy.

470
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,583
One for the road.

471
00:20:41,683 --> 00:20:43,685
(LAUGHS)

472
00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:46,327
Yeah, right.

473
00:20:48,049 --> 00:20:50,050
That's enough,
Tommy. Come on.

474
00:20:50,851 --> 00:20:52,853
Come on.
Bell's rung.
Go to class.

475
00:20:54,174 --> 00:20:56,176
(LAUGHS)
There we go.

476
00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:58,639
I'm going to
miss you,
Mr. Mayor.

477
00:20:58,739 --> 00:21:00,080
Yeah, well,
I'm going to
miss you, too.

478
00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:01,641
You take good care
of yourself, huh?

479
00:21:01,741 --> 00:21:03,743
Damn it, I can't
break this habit.

480
00:21:04,184 --> 00:21:06,186
Good night, guys.

481
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,268
God, he's a tall one,
isn't he?

482
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,271
Yeah. Yeah.

483
00:21:12,712 --> 00:21:14,713
It's killing us.

484
00:21:17,716 --> 00:21:20,539
Seeing as how
I'm no longer
mayor for a day,

485
00:21:20,639 --> 00:21:22,721
I imagine the shine
is off the apple for you.

486
00:21:25,443 --> 00:21:28,066
I don't have half
the pull that I used to.

487
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:31,309
Imagine if we
tried to go back
to that diner tonight.

488
00:21:31,409 --> 00:21:34,032
We couldn't get the booth
near the jukebox

489
00:21:34,132 --> 00:21:36,133
Even if I phoned ahead.

490
00:21:37,335 --> 00:21:38,956
You know what?

491
00:21:39,056 --> 00:21:40,558
I don't care.

492
00:21:40,658 --> 00:21:42,740
Let's go strap on
a couple of
feed bags.

493
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,783
You know, you are
a very cool woman.

494
00:21:59,996 --> 00:22:01,998
(GARBLED)
Well, that was...

495
00:22:02,838 --> 00:22:04,980
(GARBLED)
Wha...

496
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,082
(GARBLED)
Oh, yeah, sometimes
it's contagious.