1 00:00:01,787 --> 00:00:03,169 ANNOUNCER ON TV: And finally, special thanks 2 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,451 to Ashley Schaeffer for filling in today. 3 00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:08,134 You guys are tough. I hope I didn't embarrass myself. 4 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,916 Well, you certainly didn't pull any punches with Harvey. 5 00:00:13,118 --> 00:00:14,580 ANNOUNCER ON TV: So tune in next Sunday 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,142 when we have the regular group back, 7 00:00:16,242 --> 00:00:18,284 here on Focus New York. 8 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:20,186 Hmm? 9 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,148 How good did you look on that TV show? 10 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:24,270 Mm. Well, let's not meet the press or anything, 11 00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,872 but I think I did really, really well. 12 00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:29,855 No. I mean, how good did you look on that TV show? 13 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:34,640 You are turning my first ever television appearance 14 00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:36,442 into a sexual thing? 15 00:00:36,542 --> 00:00:38,444 I'm trying to. 16 00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:40,606 How nice. 17 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:42,488 Don't get me wrong. I think you're bright, 18 00:00:42,588 --> 00:00:44,851 intelligent, articulate and you generally kick butt. 19 00:00:44,951 --> 00:00:46,692 It's just an added bonus that... 20 00:00:46,792 --> 00:00:48,794 I'm really turned on. 21 00:00:49,155 --> 00:00:50,977 It is, is it? Oh, definitely. 22 00:00:51,077 --> 00:00:52,378 You know, when I grew up watching TV, 23 00:00:52,478 --> 00:00:54,540 I... I always fantasized about the women. 24 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,642 You know, Farrah Fawcett, Lynda Carter... 25 00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:59,365 Betty Rubble... 26 00:00:59,806 --> 00:01:01,788 She's a cartoon character, Mike. 27 00:01:01,888 --> 00:01:03,890 She had a hot, little body. 28 00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,292 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 29 00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:18,404 Everybody have a good weekend? 30 00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:20,687 Too lazy to even leave my apartment. You? 31 00:01:20,787 --> 00:01:22,008 I actually paid guys to come over 32 00:01:22,108 --> 00:01:24,110 to move the refrigerator closer to my couch. 33 00:01:25,672 --> 00:01:27,013 Get yourself a bedpan. 34 00:01:27,113 --> 00:01:29,115 You can lay down Friday night and call it a weekend. 35 00:01:30,877 --> 00:01:33,500 Oh, Stuart, one day you're going to make some woman 36 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,602 very, very unhappy. 37 00:01:36,643 --> 00:01:38,384 Mayor's approval ratings came out. 38 00:01:38,484 --> 00:01:40,647 And? (IMITATES EXPLOSION) 39 00:01:41,047 --> 00:01:42,749 Eh... 40 00:01:42,849 --> 00:01:44,791 Ew... 41 00:01:44,891 --> 00:01:46,032 I'd like to make a silly noise too, 42 00:01:46,132 --> 00:01:48,134 but I don't know what these numbers mean. 43 00:01:48,535 --> 00:01:50,036 It's actually a very predictable poll. 44 00:01:50,136 --> 00:01:51,918 Goes up with good news, down with bad news. 45 00:01:52,018 --> 00:01:55,021 What you want to watch out for is a long, steady... 46 00:01:55,702 --> 00:01:58,164 drop. Ew... 47 00:01:58,264 --> 00:02:00,827 This is the slump of all slumps. 48 00:02:02,068 --> 00:02:04,090 They hate us. I don't understand it. 49 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,594 They elected us in. This wasn't a military coup. 50 00:02:09,636 --> 00:02:11,578 All right, Paul. Let's see if we can start turning the tide 51 00:02:11,678 --> 00:02:12,899 on this one, all right? We're going to introduce 52 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,382 our nominee for public schools chancellor, 53 00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:16,743 Joel Bronsteen. He's an exceptional candidate, 54 00:02:16,843 --> 00:02:18,345 so let's use him, okay? 55 00:02:18,445 --> 00:02:19,986 Let's try to drum up a little excitement. 56 00:02:20,086 --> 00:02:21,348 You got it, Mike. 57 00:02:21,448 --> 00:02:24,030 This is going to be like an afternoon at the circus. 58 00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:26,113 Nikki, Carter, throw together a focus group. 59 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,075 Let's find out what's on the minds of these people. 60 00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:29,156 Well, this is exciting. 61 00:02:29,256 --> 00:02:30,998 Chance to see democracy in action. 62 00:02:31,098 --> 00:02:32,559 Allowing the citizens to speak directly 63 00:02:32,659 --> 00:02:34,801 to the people responsible for governing them. 64 00:02:34,901 --> 00:02:36,843 I'd like to be a part of that. 65 00:02:36,943 --> 00:02:38,445 What? 66 00:02:38,545 --> 00:02:40,087 No, nothing. I've just never seen 67 00:02:40,187 --> 00:02:41,528 this side of you before. 68 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,630 This was the side that loved The Lion King, right? 69 00:02:48,155 --> 00:02:49,897 Hey, Professor Bronsteen. Good morning. 70 00:02:49,997 --> 00:02:52,659 Good morning, Michael. I hope I didn't get James here into any trouble. 71 00:02:52,759 --> 00:02:54,421 I dragged him over to the Regency for breakfast. 72 00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:56,743 Mike, $11 for two eggs. 73 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,266 Back in Wisconsin, I once bought a dozen eggs for 60 cents. 74 00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:01,368 There were four double-yolkers. 75 00:03:02,809 --> 00:03:04,852 I bet your family still talks about that. 76 00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,135 See you later, James. Sure. 77 00:03:12,099 --> 00:03:14,101 Jumping ship, egg boy? 78 00:03:15,823 --> 00:03:16,924 What? 79 00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:19,286 Kissing up to the new public schools chancellor. 80 00:03:19,386 --> 00:03:22,049 Go work under him. Maybe leapfrog a few positions. 81 00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:24,331 Gamble he's a candidate down the line. 82 00:03:24,431 --> 00:03:26,854 Stuart, he was the dean of students at Columbia. 83 00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:28,015 When I showed up freshman year, 84 00:03:28,115 --> 00:03:30,858 I was this totally unsophisticated geek. 85 00:03:30,958 --> 00:03:32,960 And he told you it was okay to be that way forever? 86 00:03:34,561 --> 00:03:35,863 I just owe a lot to that guy. 87 00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:38,145 That's fine. But you're in line behind me. 88 00:03:38,245 --> 00:03:40,748 Remember that. You have got to know your place. 89 00:03:40,848 --> 00:03:42,630 Stewie, fetch us another cup of coffee. 90 00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:44,732 Chop-chop. Chop-chop. 91 00:03:46,814 --> 00:03:48,876 Now remember, let's try to pump this up a little. 92 00:03:48,976 --> 00:03:50,978 Mike, please, I'm a master at this. 93 00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:54,381 Ladies and gentlemen, the Mayor. 94 00:03:59,146 --> 00:04:00,688 What the hell was that? 95 00:04:00,788 --> 00:04:02,790 What, are you kidding? I killed out there. 96 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,772 Good morning. 97 00:04:04,872 --> 00:04:06,974 Now, as you all know, the retirement of 98 00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:09,617 (IN SPANISH ACCENT) Raymond Rodriquez... 99 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,700 has left us with very large shoes to fill. 100 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,183 But we feel confident that we have found a worthy successor. 101 00:04:16,283 --> 00:04:19,907 So, ladies and gentlemen, my nominee for the new public schools chancellor 102 00:04:20,007 --> 00:04:22,009 Joel Bronsteen. 103 00:04:23,771 --> 00:04:26,554 Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Good morning, everybody. 104 00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:29,677 I think I'm a familiar face to most of you here, 105 00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:31,719 and I understand you've already received a copy 106 00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:35,323 of my proposal for curriculum reform. 107 00:04:35,423 --> 00:04:38,586 So I don't really think I have anything to add at this time. 108 00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:42,290 (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, boy. This is exciting. 109 00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:45,413 The conventional wisdom is the public school system is beyond repair. 110 00:04:45,513 --> 00:04:47,335 Why would you want to take this on? 111 00:04:47,435 --> 00:04:49,017 (CHUCKLES) That's very funny. 112 00:04:49,117 --> 00:04:51,179 My wife asked me that very same question last night at dinner. 113 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,441 (LAUGHING AWKWARDLY) 114 00:04:55,243 --> 00:04:58,466 Actually, I myself am a product 115 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,708 of the New York public school system. 116 00:05:00,808 --> 00:05:03,191 And I can think of no more worthy task 117 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,874 than restoring that great institution 118 00:05:05,974 --> 00:05:07,976 to its former glory. 119 00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:12,921 Dr. Bronsteen, this morning my station, Channel 10 news, 120 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,003 came into possession of a videotape 121 00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:17,846 of a Grateful Dead concert from 1971 122 00:05:17,946 --> 00:05:19,808 that shows you smoking marijuana. 123 00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:21,910 Do you have any comment? 124 00:05:25,713 --> 00:05:27,715 As I recall, 125 00:05:28,076 --> 00:05:30,078 it was an excellent show. 126 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:35,283 (MAYOR LAUGHS ALONE) 127 00:05:39,327 --> 00:05:41,329 Yeah. Okay. 128 00:05:42,771 --> 00:05:44,913 Didn't you guys do a background check on Bronsteen? 129 00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:47,315 Yes, but wouldn't you know it, no one ever thought to ask the question 130 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,417 "Have you ever smoked a doobie on film?" 131 00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:52,240 Hi, I saw you on TV! 132 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,282 Katie Couric's got nothing on you! 133 00:05:54,382 --> 00:05:56,965 Oh, thank you, Roberta. 134 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,927 I just can't believe the response I've gotten 135 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:00,048 from being on that show. 136 00:06:00,148 --> 00:06:01,289 I mean, I have a byline in the paper, 137 00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:02,891 what, four, five times a week? 138 00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:04,292 And then I'm on TV once and I'm getting 139 00:06:04,392 --> 00:06:06,655 phone calls from my parents, old roommates... 140 00:06:06,755 --> 00:06:08,537 Even my high-school boyfriend called me. 141 00:06:08,637 --> 00:06:09,818 That's a lot of calls. 142 00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:10,899 And you won't believe this, 143 00:06:10,999 --> 00:06:13,101 the local ABC affiliate wants me 144 00:06:13,201 --> 00:06:15,143 to audition today. 145 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,265 You should do that. You'd be great. 146 00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:19,348 What should I wear? My pinstripe suit, maybe? 147 00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:21,910 Uh, yeah, that'd be... that'd be good. 148 00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:24,012 I'll wear that new blue dress I got? 149 00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:25,994 Uh, yeah, I like that one. 150 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,436 Or I could just go as a pirate. 151 00:06:27,536 --> 00:06:30,739 You know, eye patch... sword, hook... 152 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:33,942 Yeah, that'd work. 153 00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:36,825 (SIGHS) Wait, did you say something about a hook? 154 00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:38,647 You caught me. 155 00:06:38,747 --> 00:06:40,849 Sorry, honey. I'd... I'd love to enjoy this with you, 156 00:06:40,949 --> 00:06:42,931 but I just... I can't stop thinking, 157 00:06:43,031 --> 00:06:45,134 how do I keep the Mayor from becoming a centerfold 158 00:06:45,234 --> 00:06:47,236 in High Times magazine. 159 00:06:49,798 --> 00:06:51,180 It's okay. Just wish me luck. 160 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,482 Oh, luck? You don't need luck. You're gonna kill 'em. 161 00:06:55,364 --> 00:06:57,866 Wait a minute. What high school boyfriend? (DOOR SHUTS) 162 00:06:57,966 --> 00:06:59,268 James is waiting in your office. 163 00:06:59,368 --> 00:07:00,749 He's with Professor Bronsteen. 164 00:07:00,849 --> 00:07:03,011 I hope you put him in the nonsmoking section. 165 00:07:04,973 --> 00:07:06,875 Michael. I just wanted to tell you 166 00:07:06,975 --> 00:07:08,677 How sorry I am about everything that has happened. 167 00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:10,559 I mean, I didn't even know a tape existed. 168 00:07:10,659 --> 00:07:11,921 It was 25 years ago. (SIGHS) 169 00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:14,343 Yet on television, it looks like yesterday. 170 00:07:15,824 --> 00:07:17,646 Another miracle of videotape. 171 00:07:17,746 --> 00:07:20,689 Now, Michael, I know we're both in a pretty tight spot here, 172 00:07:20,789 --> 00:07:23,252 but if you're game, I'm ready to fight this. 173 00:07:23,352 --> 00:07:24,533 Oh, we're game. 174 00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:27,016 In fact, I'll bet we've already got a game plan. 175 00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:29,779 Uh, yeah, there will be a nice show of support. 176 00:07:29,879 --> 00:07:31,420 We'll make a few calls. 177 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,903 We've even got a few public service announcements planned. 178 00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:36,025 Public service announcements? Yeah, yeah, you know, 179 00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:38,547 like, "Stay off drugs. 180 00:07:38,647 --> 00:07:40,649 Take it from someone who's been there." 181 00:07:42,852 --> 00:07:46,235 We're still working on it. I think I understand. 182 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,317 Joel. Michael. 183 00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:49,598 Don't you worry about a thing, sir. 184 00:07:49,698 --> 00:07:51,240 We're going to get going on this thing right away. 185 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,322 Mike is a genius at things like this. 186 00:07:53,422 --> 00:07:55,484 I can tell. 187 00:07:55,584 --> 00:07:56,726 (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) 188 00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:58,688 Man, that was great seeing you guys together. 189 00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:01,230 You two are, like, the biggest influences in my life... 190 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:04,774 and I'm embarrassing you. 191 00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:06,876 Let me go get started on these announcements. 192 00:08:07,677 --> 00:08:08,898 Well, I've got one. 193 00:08:08,998 --> 00:08:11,180 Bronsteen will put a chicken in every pot... 194 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,282 And also put some pot in every chicken. 195 00:08:18,728 --> 00:08:20,730 Little joke there. 196 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,373 We're gonna do this. 197 00:08:25,134 --> 00:08:27,136 (SIGHS) 198 00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:29,959 Thanks, Mike. 199 00:08:30,059 --> 00:08:32,061 You really are the best. 200 00:08:36,746 --> 00:08:40,250 I do understand the board of education's position, ma'am, 201 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:44,574 but seriously, if you consider the time frame involved 202 00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:47,337 and the nature of Professor Bronsteen's offense, 203 00:08:47,437 --> 00:08:48,538 I mean, it's really... 204 00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:52,302 It's really no worse than a speeding ticket. 205 00:08:52,402 --> 00:08:55,765 And... And we've all gotten our share of speeding tickets, right, ma'am? 206 00:08:57,327 --> 00:08:59,329 Really? 207 00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:02,131 Spotless record? 208 00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:05,395 Congratulations. 209 00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:09,859 Well, actually, it's more like a parking ticket. 210 00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:13,022 Not a one. 211 00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:17,707 Wow. You do... You... You drive a car, ma'am? 212 00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:21,972 Okay. Great. Well, what Professor Bronsteen did, 213 00:09:22,072 --> 00:09:24,074 it's really a lot like... 214 00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:26,716 Driving a car. 215 00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,521 I really don't know how, ma'am. 216 00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,185 Why are you still doing this? 217 00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:36,626 It's a long story. 218 00:09:36,726 --> 00:09:38,909 Mike, we've got a list of ten other candidates, 219 00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:40,951 All of them as qualified as Bronsteen, 220 00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:43,894 and I'll bet at least seven of them have never smoked pot. 221 00:09:45,095 --> 00:09:47,097 Not on film anyway. 222 00:09:47,457 --> 00:09:49,319 Hell, Jenkins is 85. 223 00:09:49,419 --> 00:09:51,421 Worst case there, he's addicted to Metamucil. 224 00:09:55,665 --> 00:09:57,728 You are so sensitive, Stuart. 225 00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:59,850 We ought to send you out to the senior citizen's homes. 226 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:03,113 Hey, I'm just trying to help. You have fun tonight. 227 00:10:04,514 --> 00:10:06,516 Hey, Stuart? Yeah. 228 00:10:07,237 --> 00:10:09,239 Got a copy of that list? 229 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,603 I thought you'd never ask. 230 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,553 The Mayor's in your office, Mike. 231 00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:24,314 Nikki, we got the latest approval ratings? 232 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:25,996 Right here, Mike. 233 00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:27,518 No. This is a mistake. 234 00:10:27,618 --> 00:10:29,620 These are the disapproval ratings. 235 00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,743 How bad can it be this time? Oh... 236 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:37,808 Morning, sir. This focus group report 237 00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,450 you guys gave me is ridiculous, 238 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:40,851 and I, for one, am not going to pander 239 00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:43,073 to the whims of a few disgruntled... Hoo-ah. 240 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:48,779 But... but they want to change my hair. 241 00:10:48,879 --> 00:10:50,180 Nothing drastic, sir. 242 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,064 Just a slow, gradual fade to a more youthful brown. 243 00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:55,185 So it's about age. 244 00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:58,669 Not age, sir. Perception of age. 245 00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,351 Look at Dick Clark. Uh-huh. 246 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,712 Not a gray hair on his head, 247 00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:04,895 and he's as popular today as he was 100 years ago. 248 00:11:07,218 --> 00:11:09,980 They don't like my gestures, my cadence... 249 00:11:10,861 --> 00:11:12,363 my height. 250 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,365 Are you sure they have the right Randall Winston here? 251 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,667 Actually, sir, they prefer Randy. 252 00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:22,293 Only two people in my life have ever called me Randy. 253 00:11:22,393 --> 00:11:24,375 My wife and my... 254 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,177 basketball coach. 255 00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:28,499 Still rings in my ears. 256 00:11:28,599 --> 00:11:30,841 "Hey, Randy, go back door." 257 00:11:33,404 --> 00:11:35,406 I'm guessing that was your coach. 258 00:11:43,814 --> 00:11:46,918 Look, sir, I know these seem like superficial issues, 259 00:11:47,018 --> 00:11:49,961 but you've seen the numbers, and as crazy as it seems, 260 00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:52,363 if we don't do something to boost your public image, 261 00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:55,046 everything we're working towards is in serious jeopardy. 262 00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:56,127 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 263 00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:57,408 Excuse me. Mike? I'm sorry. 264 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,609 The press is on me like locusts, 265 00:11:58,709 --> 00:12:00,571 and every question's about Bronsteen. 266 00:12:00,671 --> 00:12:02,854 Did he inhale? Did he exhale? 267 00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:06,117 Did he roll his own, or did he smoke it out of a gong? 268 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,582 Please. Just consider these suggestions. 269 00:12:11,682 --> 00:12:13,684 Yeah, but too tall. How do I work with that? 270 00:12:22,373 --> 00:12:24,596 All right. Look, this office does not revolve 271 00:12:24,696 --> 00:12:27,118 around one man's adolescent indiscretions. 272 00:12:27,218 --> 00:12:28,399 There are other more positive things 273 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:29,761 we are focusing on here. 274 00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,763 We're opening a new subway station today. 275 00:12:31,863 --> 00:12:33,865 James, do you have that speech? 276 00:12:34,225 --> 00:12:35,567 All right. Uh... 277 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,469 "As you shuffle down into this gaping hole..." 278 00:12:42,353 --> 00:12:44,896 "To be driven into a dark abyss, 279 00:12:44,996 --> 00:12:48,359 try not to be overwhelmed by the insignificance of your life." 280 00:12:51,002 --> 00:12:52,904 Say, that's inspiring. 281 00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,866 Sorry, Mike. I guess I'm a little depressed. 282 00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:57,188 Look, James, you can't let this Bronsteen thing 283 00:12:57,288 --> 00:13:00,071 affect your work. Mike, this is completely unfair. 284 00:13:00,171 --> 00:13:01,473 We're letting a guy get raked over the coals 285 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,034 for something that happened over 20 years ago. 286 00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:04,716 There's not a lot we can do about it. 287 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,518 You said there'd be a show of support for him. 288 00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:08,740 Yes, yes, a show of support. 289 00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:11,623 Not actual support. 290 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:17,188 That's why they call it a show. 291 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,152 You seen Cats? 292 00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:24,776 Those are not real cats. 293 00:13:24,876 --> 00:13:27,018 You're telling me you don't feel the least bit guilty about any of this? 294 00:13:27,118 --> 00:13:28,660 Feel? I... 295 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,663 This is politics, James. I receive. 296 00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:33,225 I sense the mood of the public, 297 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:35,907 I respond, I shape it. 298 00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:37,309 I don't have time to feel. 299 00:13:37,409 --> 00:13:38,910 So that's the way it works? 300 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:41,012 That's the only way it works. 301 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:50,042 Mike, I lost you there on "sense the mood of the people." 302 00:13:50,142 --> 00:13:52,144 How does that work? 303 00:13:56,828 --> 00:13:58,490 MAN ON TV: Okay. Look at the red light on the camera. 304 00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,592 And action. 305 00:14:02,674 --> 00:14:04,336 See that? You haven't even said a word 306 00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:06,298 and already I'm loving it. 307 00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:08,440 MAN ON SET: Action actually, please. 308 00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:11,263 You still haven't said a word. 309 00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:13,365 And yet, I'm still riveted. 310 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,768 You do eventually speak, right? 311 00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:20,612 Could I just get some water, please? 312 00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,695 Thank you. 313 00:14:25,457 --> 00:14:27,459 Oh. Oops-a-daisy. 314 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,802 Okay. 315 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,904 I'm ready. 316 00:14:33,065 --> 00:14:35,047 Uh... 317 00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:37,309 Police today apprehend the... 318 00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:40,092 Oh... I'm sorry... 319 00:14:40,192 --> 00:14:41,453 Do I say my name first or... 320 00:14:41,553 --> 00:14:42,655 MAN ON SET: Cut! No, I... 321 00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:43,976 Hey. 322 00:14:44,076 --> 00:14:46,078 Great. 323 00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:48,340 Bravo. Bravo. 324 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,822 Uh, nice try, Mike. 325 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:54,627 No, no. Come on. There was a rawness there. A humanity. 326 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,669 People want to watch the news and they wanna say, 327 00:14:56,769 --> 00:14:58,771 "Hey, I could do that too." 328 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,996 And you gave that to them. 329 00:15:04,096 --> 00:15:06,439 You think I should try again? They offered me another audition. 330 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,541 They did? Of course they did. 331 00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:11,324 Yeah, what do you think? 332 00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:14,206 Well, I think that you should do 333 00:15:14,306 --> 00:15:17,290 what-whatever it is you think you should do. 334 00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:19,091 Come on. I want your opinion. 335 00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:20,373 Mine? 336 00:15:20,473 --> 00:15:22,535 Do you see anyone else in the room? 337 00:15:22,635 --> 00:15:24,417 No. 338 00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:26,519 I wish I did. 339 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,303 Okay. I-I think that... (STUTTERING) 340 00:15:30,403 --> 00:15:32,985 You-You should go for it. 341 00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:34,747 Seriously, and I should just pick up 342 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:36,589 and leave the job at the paper that I love? 343 00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,751 No. You know what? No. 344 00:15:38,851 --> 00:15:40,393 No, you love that paper. 345 00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:42,635 You should stay there forever and ever. 346 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:44,717 Yeah, but if this is like the greatest opportunity 347 00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:46,819 of my life, you know? 348 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,783 (MOUTHS) Uh... 349 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,687 This is unbelievable. You're not even trying. 350 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,110 What, are you kidding me? I'm working my ass off here. 351 00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,975 Mayor in yet this morning, Janelle? 352 00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,456 Not yet. 353 00:16:03,556 --> 00:16:05,538 Listen, James, I'm sorry about... 354 00:16:05,638 --> 00:16:07,640 Don't even worry about it. It's nothing. 355 00:16:08,281 --> 00:16:09,662 Great. 356 00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:12,185 Nice suit. We have a problem with the certificate 357 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,988 we're supposed to give to the transit authority employee of the month. 358 00:16:15,088 --> 00:16:17,090 (SARCASTICALLY) Problem? Us? You got to be kidding. 359 00:16:18,171 --> 00:16:20,173 They just arrested the employee. 360 00:16:23,056 --> 00:16:24,197 Apparently, he masterminded 361 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,639 a four million dollar token laundering scheme. 362 00:16:26,739 --> 00:16:28,741 How'd they catch him? 363 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,607 Uh, his wife turned him in. 364 00:16:34,707 --> 00:16:36,369 So now it's the transit authority... 365 00:16:36,469 --> 00:16:38,471 Spouse of the month. 366 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,236 My thought exactly. Thanks. 367 00:16:44,718 --> 00:16:45,939 You got that, Carter? 368 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,781 Uh-huh. Yeah. 369 00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,022 Mike, I need your help here. 370 00:16:49,122 --> 00:16:50,143 Yeah. What you got? 371 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,865 Chief Nader. He says the fire department 372 00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:54,668 won't co-sponsor the Mayor's neighborhood safety program. 373 00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:56,189 All right, tell you what. 374 00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:58,151 Rewrite the proposal. Call it the "Nader initiative." 375 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,833 Tell him we're willing to let him take credit for it 376 00:16:59,933 --> 00:17:01,234 as long as he stays on the team. 377 00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:02,716 Nader's a really sweet old guy. 378 00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:04,518 He's just concerned about his own job security. 379 00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:05,999 Yeah, well, he should be. 380 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:07,521 You tell him he keeps yanking us on this thing, 381 00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:09,322 he's going to find himself out on the street. 382 00:17:09,422 --> 00:17:11,424 The man's either with us or against us. Period. 383 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,907 (STUART WHEEZING) 384 00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:17,611 (IMITATING DARTH VADER) Obi-Mike has taught you well, 385 00:17:17,711 --> 00:17:20,153 but, Luke, I am your father. 386 00:17:25,038 --> 00:17:26,380 T minus 30 minutes. 387 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,542 Mike, any change on our position on Bronsteen? 388 00:17:28,642 --> 00:17:32,105 No. No, we, uh, we still... We got to let him go. 389 00:17:32,205 --> 00:17:33,627 But, uh, we're going to do it gently. 390 00:17:33,727 --> 00:17:34,988 We're going to go to bat for him. 391 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,670 We're going to highlight His long and distinguished 392 00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,792 career as an educator, And you know, remember, 393 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,634 he's still a friend of this administration. 394 00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:42,156 Whoa. Whoa. 395 00:17:42,256 --> 00:17:44,638 What're you talking about? We got to dump this guy. 396 00:17:44,738 --> 00:17:46,520 Excuse me? Well... 397 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:48,802 I hate to interrupt your little violin solo, 398 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,964 but in case you haven't noticed, 399 00:17:51,064 --> 00:17:52,206 we've been taking on water. 400 00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:53,647 This guy Bronsteen's just an anchor, Mike. 401 00:17:53,747 --> 00:17:55,409 He's dragging us down. 402 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,251 James, look, I know that's not how you feel about the guy... 403 00:17:57,351 --> 00:17:58,852 I'm sorry. Feel? 404 00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,254 I thought we went over this, Mike. 405 00:18:00,354 --> 00:18:02,356 This is politics. We really don't have time to feel. 406 00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:09,143 What happened to old James? 407 00:18:09,243 --> 00:18:11,105 I miss him. I want him back. 408 00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:13,207 (IMITATING DARTH VADER) You can't have him back. 409 00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:15,869 He's come over to the dark side, 410 00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:19,213 and together we shall rule City Hall as father and son. 411 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,539 Hey, James. What? 412 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,983 Easy, young Skywalker. 413 00:18:29,303 --> 00:18:31,305 I come in peace. 414 00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:34,348 Want a drink? I'm buying. 415 00:18:35,109 --> 00:18:37,291 Fine. I'll take a rum and coke. 416 00:18:37,391 --> 00:18:39,393 Since when do you drink rum? 417 00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:42,116 Okay. Just a coke. 418 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,199 Two cokes, please. 419 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,382 Why don't you take off your tie and relax a little? 420 00:18:48,482 --> 00:18:50,484 Mike, I'm comfortable. 421 00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:53,267 When was the last time you wore one of those? 422 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:55,469 At my sister's wedding. 423 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,571 She's been married several times. I'm getting used to it. 424 00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:02,036 Is this your first real job, James? 425 00:19:02,136 --> 00:19:04,138 Oh, God. Did you come over here to fire me, Mike? 426 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,582 No. I usually do that sort of thing over the phone. 427 00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:14,408 I remember my first real job. 428 00:19:14,508 --> 00:19:15,770 It was in the office of this, uh, 429 00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,972 this state senator from Brooklyn. 430 00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:19,974 My first day at work, 431 00:19:20,074 --> 00:19:22,076 this little old lady comes in. 432 00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,939 She's like, this big. 433 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,983 No. I swear to God. I held her in the palm of my hand the whole time. 434 00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,265 Anyway, she's really mad because she's got this streetlight 435 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:34,509 outside her bedroom window, and it keeps blinking. 436 00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:37,291 "Blink, blink, blink all night long. It's driving me crazy." 437 00:19:38,653 --> 00:19:40,875 So anyway, she wants it fixed. 438 00:19:40,975 --> 00:19:43,898 She doesn't care if it's on or off. She just, you know... 439 00:19:44,619 --> 00:19:46,621 not with the blinking. 440 00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:49,684 So what happened? 441 00:19:49,784 --> 00:19:51,786 Oh, I don't remember. 442 00:19:52,507 --> 00:19:54,509 That's a beautiful story. 443 00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:56,771 My point is this, James. 444 00:19:56,871 --> 00:19:59,574 Every morning in this city, eight million people wake up, 445 00:19:59,674 --> 00:20:01,256 They go to their faucets, they turn them on, 446 00:20:01,356 --> 00:20:03,418 They want to see clean, clear, fresh water coming out of there. 447 00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:05,500 They want, you know, safe streets, 448 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,621 they want clean subways, 449 00:20:06,721 --> 00:20:08,223 they want good football teams, 450 00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:10,265 and when they don't get them, they get mad. 451 00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:12,927 And when they get mad, they come to me. 452 00:20:13,528 --> 00:20:15,190 Mike? 453 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,292 The water in my faucet comes out brown. 454 00:20:18,373 --> 00:20:20,235 This is what I'm saying. So... 455 00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:22,637 So if I were to take all the brown water 456 00:20:22,737 --> 00:20:23,878 and all the blinking lights... 457 00:20:23,978 --> 00:20:25,360 If i were to take all that personally, 458 00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:28,983 I would probably be very, very sad most of the time. 459 00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:31,486 But, Mike... 460 00:20:31,586 --> 00:20:33,588 It's really, really brown. 461 00:20:37,672 --> 00:20:39,374 James, take it up with your super. 462 00:20:39,474 --> 00:20:41,736 You don't have any time to feel? 463 00:20:41,836 --> 00:20:44,499 I get happy, sad, and hungry. 464 00:20:44,599 --> 00:20:46,902 Every once in a while I'll let a little something else slip through. 465 00:20:47,002 --> 00:20:48,984 Bronsteen? 466 00:20:49,084 --> 00:20:51,086 Maybe. 467 00:20:54,329 --> 00:20:56,611 Mike, it's just such a damn shame. 468 00:20:58,013 --> 00:21:00,075 Well, James, you're going to carry that pain with you 469 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,177 a lot longer than I am... 470 00:21:02,737 --> 00:21:04,740 Because you're different than me. 471 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:07,542 And, uh, that's ok. 472 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:11,426 Sometimes I wish, uh, I was different from me. 473 00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:14,670 Really? 474 00:21:16,591 --> 00:21:18,854 (SLOWLY EXHALES) 475 00:21:18,954 --> 00:21:20,295 Nah. 476 00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:23,398 (GRATEFUL DEAD'S TRUCKIN' PLAYING ON JUKEBOX) 477 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:41,797 ASHLEY: Look, Mike, I know you're excited 478 00:21:41,897 --> 00:21:43,799 that I got the job, but this is ridiculous. 479 00:21:43,899 --> 00:21:46,201 MIKE: Oh, come on, come on. One more time. 480 00:21:46,301 --> 00:21:47,282 Mike... Please. 481 00:21:47,382 --> 00:21:48,724 ASHLEY: No, that's enough. 482 00:21:48,824 --> 00:21:50,366 MIKE: Ashley. Ashley. 483 00:21:50,466 --> 00:21:51,887 ASHLEY: You are sick, you know that? 484 00:21:51,987 --> 00:21:54,249 There's something very wrong with you. MIKE: Mm-hmm. 485 00:21:54,349 --> 00:21:56,932 ASHLEY: Oh, for God's sake. All right. 486 00:21:57,032 --> 00:21:58,814 This is Ashley Schaeffer reporting live 487 00:21:58,914 --> 00:22:00,055 for Channel 10 news. 488 00:22:00,155 --> 00:22:01,857 Today police are investigating the disappearance 489 00:22:01,957 --> 00:22:03,859 of more than two million dollars 490 00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,020 in municipal funds 491 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,782 from a Nassau county armor truck 492 00:22:06,882 --> 00:22:08,884 MIKE: Oh, baby!