1 00:00:03,413 --> 00:00:05,415 Whoa. Wrong apartment. 2 00:00:06,816 --> 00:00:08,558 No. I live here. 3 00:00:08,658 --> 00:00:10,880 We're your neighbors. I'm Maria. 4 00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,423 I'm Yale. Apartment 2B. Or not 2B. 5 00:00:16,025 --> 00:00:17,886 That is the question. Yeah, I get it. 6 00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:19,848 That's... That's funny. 7 00:00:19,948 --> 00:00:21,289 "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind 8 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:22,611 "to suffer the slings and arrows 9 00:00:22,711 --> 00:00:24,933 "of outrageous fortune, or..." Ashley. 10 00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:26,934 Hey, honey. So, you... You met. 11 00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:28,376 MIKE: We met, yeah. 12 00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:29,757 Yeah, they live upstairs. They're in 2B. Yeah, I know. 13 00:00:29,837 --> 00:00:31,619 Or not 2B. That is the question. 14 00:00:31,719 --> 00:00:34,241 Yeah, I'll tell her later. She'll laugh. 15 00:00:36,363 --> 00:00:40,026 Yeah, so anyway, Yale and Maria, they just stopped by, 16 00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:41,828 because they have these couple extra tickets 17 00:00:41,928 --> 00:00:43,109 to this documentary. 18 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,871 It's on the collapse of the ecosystem in Brazil. 19 00:00:45,971 --> 00:00:48,353 And I told them we probably couldn't make it. 20 00:00:48,453 --> 00:00:50,275 But they persisted and persisted, 21 00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:52,117 and persisted until I finally agreed 22 00:00:52,217 --> 00:00:53,958 that it would be really fun for the both of us, 23 00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:56,000 so we're going. 24 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,102 (WHISPERING) I'm sorry. 25 00:00:58,903 --> 00:01:01,205 Plus, I speak fluent Portuguese, 26 00:01:01,305 --> 00:01:03,647 so it will be like having your own personal tour guide 27 00:01:03,747 --> 00:01:05,128 right there along, next to you. 28 00:01:05,228 --> 00:01:07,470 Oh, Yale, buddy, you don't even have to sugarcoat it. 29 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:14,497 Because the ecosystem is, like, right up there for me. 30 00:01:14,597 --> 00:01:16,298 But I work for the Mayor's office, unfortunately, 31 00:01:16,398 --> 00:01:18,460 and we are right in the middle of a crisis. 32 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,102 What kind of crisis? 33 00:01:20,202 --> 00:01:22,824 Crisis. Crisis, just... 34 00:01:22,924 --> 00:01:24,546 Where'd I put that crisis? 35 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,307 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 36 00:01:26,407 --> 00:01:28,629 STUART ON MACHINE: Mike, Garfield is kicking our butt all over TV again. 37 00:01:28,729 --> 00:01:31,512 Thought you might be interested. See ya. 38 00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:34,134 Well, alas, my hands are tied. 39 00:01:35,375 --> 00:01:36,436 I must go, 40 00:01:36,536 --> 00:01:40,200 so, uh... I'll just take a rain check. 41 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,642 A rain check on the rain forest. 42 00:01:42,742 --> 00:01:44,744 I made a funny. 43 00:01:45,464 --> 00:01:47,466 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 44 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,335 Welcome. 45 00:01:57,435 --> 00:01:58,976 This is so exciting. 46 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:02,459 It's my first Sunday emergency. 47 00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:05,522 See you've paid your final dues on your geek membership. 48 00:02:07,324 --> 00:02:09,325 Everybody here yet? Not yet. 49 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,869 Well, that's cool. 50 00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:13,950 All right, what's going on? 51 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,031 I have one day off a week, 52 00:02:15,131 --> 00:02:16,952 I'd prefer not to spend it at work. 53 00:02:17,052 --> 00:02:19,054 Whoa. Whoa. Heads up. 54 00:02:19,975 --> 00:02:22,657 Nikki, is there something you'd like to share with us? 55 00:02:23,338 --> 00:02:24,559 He's my sister's. 56 00:02:24,659 --> 00:02:26,120 I don't have time for a life of my own, 57 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,222 so I borrow one on Sundays. 58 00:02:29,944 --> 00:02:32,086 You were playing basketball? 59 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,167 No, I was bowling. 60 00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:35,269 I looked like an idiot. 61 00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:38,732 What I meant was... What you meant was, 62 00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:39,973 you're surprised I play basketball 63 00:02:40,073 --> 00:02:41,574 because I'm a gay man, but, you see, Stuart, 64 00:02:41,674 --> 00:02:43,676 I'm also a black man... 65 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:49,401 So, it's really just a battle between your archaic stereotypes. 66 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:53,245 Which one's winning? 67 00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:57,148 Well, it looks like everybody's here except Paulie, 68 00:02:57,248 --> 00:03:00,071 so no reason we shouldn't start. 69 00:03:00,171 --> 00:03:01,872 I am not just the ex-mayor. 70 00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:05,676 I am a New Yorker, and I care deeply about this city. 71 00:03:05,776 --> 00:03:08,839 I just wish I was confident that the current mayor felt the same way. 72 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,081 Blah, blah, blah. He's been going on like that for over an hour. 73 00:03:11,181 --> 00:03:13,323 (BABY-TALKING) That's bad. Very bad. 74 00:03:13,423 --> 00:03:15,524 Very, very, very, very, very bad. 75 00:03:15,624 --> 00:03:17,887 Okay, we got to do something to quiet Garfield down. 76 00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:19,488 So anybody got any ideas? 77 00:03:19,588 --> 00:03:21,450 Everyone has skeletons, Mike. 78 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:23,572 I could whip you up a smear campaign. 79 00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:25,253 Mmm-muah! 80 00:03:25,353 --> 00:03:27,695 I love that about you, Stuart. 81 00:03:27,795 --> 00:03:29,797 We're going to take the high road on this one. 82 00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:32,099 Oh, don't pout. 83 00:03:32,199 --> 00:03:33,861 What do you think, Nikki? What do we know about this guy? 84 00:03:33,961 --> 00:03:36,503 Mmm, huge ego. Totally self-involved. 85 00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:37,904 Likes to see his name on things. 86 00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:39,786 Okay. We'll just give him something, then. 87 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,187 So that's your brand of politics? 88 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,309 You're just going to buy his support? 89 00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:46,072 Carter, in ancient Rome, they would call it an homage. 90 00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:50,616 We'd give Garfield a jug of wine, a horse... A virgin. 91 00:03:51,456 --> 00:03:52,918 Problem solved. 92 00:03:53,018 --> 00:03:55,020 I can find him two out of three right here in this office. 93 00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:58,963 Just got to slap his name on something. 94 00:03:59,063 --> 00:04:01,045 Nikki, that baby got a name yet? 95 00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:03,207 How about a Garfield street? 96 00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:05,449 Nah. Too expensive. 97 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:08,311 How about a lovable, orange cartoon cat? 98 00:04:10,914 --> 00:04:12,335 MIKE: You're not helping. 99 00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:14,437 What about a fountain? 100 00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:17,179 James, that's brilliant. 101 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:18,701 A fountain? You sure? 102 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,904 'Cause I can have pictures of him with a hooker by 7:15. 103 00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:24,906 A fountain it is. Meeting adjourned. Let's go get a beer. 104 00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:25,947 Ah, get a beer. 105 00:04:26,047 --> 00:04:28,029 PAUL: Wait, wait, wait, wait. 106 00:04:28,129 --> 00:04:29,791 Where's everybody going? 107 00:04:29,891 --> 00:04:31,912 Meeting's over, Paulie. You missed it. 108 00:04:32,012 --> 00:04:34,275 No, I was on the Throgs Neck Bridge when I got your beep. 109 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,097 Over 20 miles. I can't feel my thighs. 110 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,721 Anyone want to hold little Buckey? 111 00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:43,443 (ALL NAY-ING) 112 00:04:43,543 --> 00:04:45,445 I'm afraid I might drop him. 113 00:04:45,545 --> 00:04:46,606 What's going to happen with you guys 114 00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:47,807 when you have your own kids? 115 00:04:47,907 --> 00:04:49,908 I'm going to put a little handle on mine. 116 00:04:52,471 --> 00:04:53,892 I'm kind of looking forward to being a father. 117 00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:55,413 Really? CARTER: Sure. 118 00:04:55,513 --> 00:04:57,776 Find the right guy, buy a house, settle down. 119 00:04:57,876 --> 00:05:00,218 Ah, that'd be nice. 120 00:05:00,318 --> 00:05:02,740 I think we're looking at five future fathers of the year here. 121 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,261 NIKKI: Oh, yeah, right. 122 00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,423 I bet you guys couldn't take care of a cocktail napkin. 123 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,504 What are you talking about? 124 00:05:07,604 --> 00:05:08,785 NIKKI: Let's try an experiment. 125 00:05:08,885 --> 00:05:11,107 I got 50 bucks against 10 from each of you, 126 00:05:11,207 --> 00:05:14,070 that you each can't take one cocktail napkin, 127 00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:15,752 bring it back to me in 48 hours, 128 00:05:15,852 --> 00:05:18,154 well-cared for, nice and clean. 129 00:05:18,254 --> 00:05:20,075 Give me that. STUART: All right. 130 00:05:20,175 --> 00:05:21,316 All right. 131 00:05:21,416 --> 00:05:23,839 You got to name them, so we know whose is whose. 132 00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:25,981 I'm calling mine, Sheldon. 133 00:05:27,782 --> 00:05:30,064 Apparently, Paul wants his napkin to get beat up a lot. 134 00:05:33,948 --> 00:05:35,409 I'm naming mine Stuart. 135 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,650 What if it's a girl? 136 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,513 It's a napkin, and its name is Stuart. 137 00:05:40,754 --> 00:05:42,996 And last night, it kicked Sheldon's ass. 138 00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:48,581 Okay. Me and Tucker 139 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,542 have the next round. 140 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,744 Five beers. 141 00:05:52,844 --> 00:05:54,626 Wow. Thought I'd find you here. 142 00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:56,728 Hey, Ashley. 143 00:05:57,889 --> 00:05:59,891 How was the documentary? 144 00:06:01,372 --> 00:06:04,235 I cannot believe you bailed on me like that. 145 00:06:04,335 --> 00:06:07,117 I got to tell you, it was an incredibly difficult decision, honey, 146 00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:10,340 but the ship was going down, and I could only save one of us. 147 00:06:14,143 --> 00:06:16,646 Whatever happened to women and children first? 148 00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:18,247 Well, there comes a time in every man's life 149 00:06:18,347 --> 00:06:21,110 when he's got to slap on a dress and jump in the lifeboat. 150 00:06:22,871 --> 00:06:24,573 I just sat through three hours 151 00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:27,295 of black-and-white footage of the rain forest disappearing. 152 00:06:27,395 --> 00:06:29,177 I mean, I'm telling you that by the end, 153 00:06:29,277 --> 00:06:32,240 I was actually rooting for the rain forest to be gone faster. 154 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:36,744 They're not here now, so the nightmare is over. 155 00:06:36,844 --> 00:06:38,225 Uh, no, it's not. 156 00:06:38,325 --> 00:06:39,987 See, the thing is, 157 00:06:40,087 --> 00:06:42,088 they invited themselves over for dinner, tomorrow night. 158 00:06:43,129 --> 00:06:44,711 You're killing me. 159 00:06:44,811 --> 00:06:46,793 All right, look. We can get through this. We can get through this. 160 00:06:46,893 --> 00:06:47,914 It's just one night, 161 00:06:48,014 --> 00:06:51,237 in, then we're out, nobody gets hurt. 162 00:06:51,337 --> 00:06:52,758 Okay. Pick up. 163 00:06:52,858 --> 00:06:54,600 Hey. 164 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:55,801 No! Stuart! 165 00:06:55,901 --> 00:06:57,902 You're out! 166 00:07:04,188 --> 00:07:06,190 He was so young. 167 00:07:09,353 --> 00:07:11,695 I just wonder why we're doing this for him, Michael. 168 00:07:11,795 --> 00:07:14,097 I mean, Garfield's been slamming us pretty hard lately. 169 00:07:14,197 --> 00:07:16,259 I know. We're just giving him a fountain, sir. 170 00:07:16,359 --> 00:07:18,581 I have such mixed emotions about Garfield. 171 00:07:18,681 --> 00:07:22,624 He's such a man of the people, larger than life, huh? 172 00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:25,167 It's not jealousy. I just wish I had what he had. 173 00:07:26,528 --> 00:07:29,050 You're the mayor now, sir, and don't forget that. 174 00:07:29,731 --> 00:07:31,732 Yeah. I know that. 175 00:07:32,693 --> 00:07:34,315 But still, when he's around, 176 00:07:34,415 --> 00:07:37,658 I can't help feeling like I just disappear. 177 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,902 Good morning, Flaherty. Where's that boss of yours? 178 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,884 Abe. Randall. 179 00:07:44,984 --> 00:07:47,727 You better firm that baby up a bit. 180 00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:50,489 Yeah, look, the reason that we invited you down here... 181 00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:52,591 Randall, open. Yeah. 182 00:07:53,872 --> 00:07:54,893 You keep that. 183 00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:56,655 When you're out with the people, 184 00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:58,416 you need that minty breath. 185 00:07:58,516 --> 00:08:02,260 Yeah, anyway, we're aware that you've been voicing some concerns lately, 186 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,502 and, well, we thought that we might... 187 00:08:04,602 --> 00:08:06,984 Give me a fountain? I know. I love it. 188 00:08:07,084 --> 00:08:09,086 It's a good start. 189 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,109 Mr. Mayor. Fong. 190 00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:14,110 (SPEAKING MANDARIN) Good to see you, Mr. Mayor. 191 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:16,593 It's just Abe now. You know that. 192 00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:19,555 Not to me. You'll always be mayor to me. 193 00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:21,837 Thank you, my friend. 194 00:08:21,937 --> 00:08:22,918 He's good. 195 00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:24,319 You're better, sir. 196 00:08:24,419 --> 00:08:25,921 Amigo, que pasa? 197 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:28,243 Como esta su novia carmela? 198 00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:30,285 Oh, bien. Gracias. Gracias. 199 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,726 De nada. De nada. 200 00:08:31,826 --> 00:08:33,828 Have a good one, Jesus. 201 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,012 (IN SPANISH ACCENT) It's Jesus. 202 00:08:38,112 --> 00:08:40,113 (CLEARS THROAT) Jesus, sir. 203 00:08:43,476 --> 00:08:45,758 Six months. He could have said something. 204 00:08:49,402 --> 00:08:52,304 And so it ends as it began, 205 00:08:52,404 --> 00:08:55,047 with us cleaning oil-soaked loons, 206 00:08:56,888 --> 00:08:59,611 the littlest victims of the Exxon Valdez. 207 00:09:08,979 --> 00:09:11,361 Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. 208 00:09:11,461 --> 00:09:14,384 Can you believe the time? It's already 9:15. 209 00:09:16,426 --> 00:09:18,808 Talk about burning the candle, huh? 210 00:09:18,908 --> 00:09:21,250 You know, we have a whole bag of tapes. 211 00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:23,052 I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick, 212 00:09:23,152 --> 00:09:25,334 you know, just splash some water on my face. 213 00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,436 So we'll just pop one in, then, huh? 214 00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,058 Oh, yeah. You go ahead, Yale. 215 00:09:30,158 --> 00:09:31,259 Let's, uh... 216 00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:33,641 Let's see if we can actually make time stop. 217 00:09:36,163 --> 00:09:38,185 Should we show the one of our hunger strike 218 00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,387 or the one where we chained ourselves to the redwood trees? 219 00:09:40,487 --> 00:09:42,069 Ooh, I don't know. 220 00:09:42,169 --> 00:09:44,191 Mike? 221 00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:45,432 Oh, you know, I'm not even comfortable 222 00:09:45,532 --> 00:09:46,913 making that decision. 223 00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:48,234 Uh, why don't you go ahead? 224 00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:49,355 You just pick whichever one 225 00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,457 is, uh, shorter. 226 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:59,044 Honey, we've got to get rid of them, okay? 227 00:09:59,144 --> 00:10:01,046 You go out there. You tell them I'm sick. 228 00:10:01,146 --> 00:10:03,388 I'll stay in here, and I'll make vomiting noises. 229 00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:07,291 I don't think it's going to work. 230 00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:09,373 I mean, they probably have herbal remedies with them. 231 00:10:09,473 --> 00:10:13,016 I was actually with them for the first couple of loons. 232 00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,738 After that, I got it, you know. 233 00:10:14,838 --> 00:10:16,839 They're oily, they're clean. 234 00:10:18,281 --> 00:10:20,823 Have we not made it clear to them that we want them to leave? 235 00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:23,666 Are you kidding me? I have done everything but rifle through their pockets, 236 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:26,048 looking for the three hours of my life they stole. 237 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:30,552 All right. All right. You know what? 238 00:10:30,652 --> 00:10:32,654 We just got to ride this thing out. 239 00:10:33,214 --> 00:10:35,496 Ashley, I don't want to alarm you... 240 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,939 So I'm not going to overstate this. 241 00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:43,143 These people are out to destroy us. 242 00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:49,529 I mean, look at them. Look at them watching our TV, 243 00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:53,652 eating our food, drinking our water. 244 00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,894 If we don't snuff this out, we might as well give them the keys, 245 00:10:55,994 --> 00:10:57,376 'cause it's not our place, it's theirs. 246 00:10:57,476 --> 00:10:59,057 (TELEPHONE RINGING) (WHIMPERS) 247 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,159 YALE: I got it! 248 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,422 Oh, my God. We're too late. 249 00:11:04,522 --> 00:11:07,224 No, no, no. We can do this, together. 250 00:11:07,324 --> 00:11:09,326 I love you, Ashley. 251 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,548 I'll never leave your side. 252 00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:13,650 All right. Here we go. 253 00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:17,994 That was your editor. 254 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,115 He said it was no big deal. 255 00:11:19,215 --> 00:11:20,476 You could call back whenever you want. 256 00:11:20,576 --> 00:11:22,558 Oh, it sounds bad. Got to go. 257 00:11:22,658 --> 00:11:24,660 Oh, no. 258 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:44,838 So the actual fountain will look just like this, only much, much bigger. 259 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,460 Well, on the plus side, 260 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,702 when the dedication's over, he can just take it home with him. 261 00:11:49,802 --> 00:11:51,824 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 262 00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:54,787 It is my pleasure to introduce the mayor of New York, 263 00:11:54,887 --> 00:11:56,668 the honorable Randall Winston, 264 00:11:56,768 --> 00:11:59,331 and the formerly honorable Abe Garfield 265 00:12:00,612 --> 00:12:02,614 who was... Who was the mayor. 266 00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:09,240 As mayor of this city, it's my distinct pleasure 267 00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:11,802 to officially pronounce this the Abe Garfield fountain. 268 00:12:11,902 --> 00:12:13,904 (APPLAUSE) 269 00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,419 Mayor Winston, what did you wish? 270 00:12:30,519 --> 00:12:33,181 Uh, to be reelected. What else? 271 00:12:33,281 --> 00:12:35,183 Uh, Mayor Garfield, what was your wish? 272 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:38,586 That New York remain the greatest city in the world, 273 00:12:38,686 --> 00:12:42,389 that we set the standard for culture and compassion, 274 00:12:42,489 --> 00:12:43,750 for life and liberty, 275 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:47,113 not to mention, the best pastrami known to man. 276 00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:49,435 (LAUGHTER) 277 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:52,198 Mike, can I have another penny? 278 00:12:52,298 --> 00:12:53,639 PAUL: Thank you all very much. 279 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,482 Well, gentlemen, that was quite a moving ceremony, 280 00:12:56,582 --> 00:12:59,124 to see two great leaders of this city come together... 281 00:12:59,224 --> 00:13:04,449 Did you really think you could buy me off with this birdbath? 282 00:13:04,549 --> 00:13:06,971 That was the plan. Yeah. 283 00:13:07,071 --> 00:13:09,493 I've had martinis bigger than this. 284 00:13:09,593 --> 00:13:11,295 This is an insult. 285 00:13:11,395 --> 00:13:14,418 You of all people should know how difficult this job is. 286 00:13:14,518 --> 00:13:16,620 But no, no, no. You play the critic. 287 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,141 You do the talk-show circuit. 288 00:13:18,241 --> 00:13:19,302 Well, you know what it does? 289 00:13:19,402 --> 00:13:20,583 It just proves to me that you're nothing 290 00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:22,905 but a vain, petty, self-centered... (THUDS) 291 00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:24,266 ...egomaniacal... 292 00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:26,368 Why are you lying down? 293 00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,931 MIKE: Somebody get an ambulance! 294 00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:35,977 It's so weird to see the flag at half-mast. 295 00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:40,861 (CLICKS TONGUE) I can't believe he's gone. 296 00:13:42,663 --> 00:13:45,786 Sir, we should probably work up some sort of statement. 297 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,828 I killed him, Mike. I killed him dead. 298 00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:53,252 Well, that's a good starting point. 299 00:13:53,352 --> 00:13:55,654 I think we should probably soften it a little. 300 00:13:55,754 --> 00:13:57,336 The other day, 301 00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,017 I watched Abe walk these hallways, 302 00:13:59,117 --> 00:14:01,660 patting strangers on the back, speaking flawless Cantonese, 303 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,762 and you know what I wished? 304 00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:06,144 I wished that he were gone, 305 00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:08,386 I wished that he weren't here. (SIGHS) 306 00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:10,708 It's not quite the same as wishing he were dead. 307 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,810 I wished that, too. 308 00:14:15,692 --> 00:14:17,694 Oh, boy. 309 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:20,977 You know, he gave me this 310 00:14:22,018 --> 00:14:24,280 and a little sage advice. 311 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:25,881 Garfield was an older man. 312 00:14:25,981 --> 00:14:27,563 He had a history of heart problems. 313 00:14:27,663 --> 00:14:30,686 No, no, Mike. My words cut him down. 314 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,727 And the guilt is so heavy. It's so oppressing. 315 00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:35,009 I need to atone. I just need to tell the world. 316 00:14:35,109 --> 00:14:36,491 MIKE: All right, I know you're hurting, sir. 317 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:38,292 What you want to do is you want to take all that hurt 318 00:14:38,392 --> 00:14:40,694 and all that pain, and all that confusion 319 00:14:40,794 --> 00:14:43,917 and all those overwhelming feelings, and you want to just 320 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,120 bottle them right up. 321 00:14:49,162 --> 00:14:50,143 Morning, sir. 322 00:14:50,243 --> 00:14:52,245 Yes, I am, son. 323 00:14:55,608 --> 00:14:57,609 The whole city is. 324 00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,332 (SOFTLY) I'm sorry. 325 00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:03,054 Okay. 326 00:15:03,935 --> 00:15:04,996 How's he doing, Mike? 327 00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:06,638 He blames himself. 328 00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:09,180 Why, just because he yelled at the old guy till he dropped dead? 329 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:13,484 Let me make this perfectly clear for everybody. 330 00:15:13,584 --> 00:15:17,447 What happened between the mayor and Garfield was not an argument. 331 00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:21,551 It was merely an animated discussion that quite suddenly 332 00:15:22,792 --> 00:15:25,014 became unanimated. 333 00:15:25,114 --> 00:15:27,336 They had a candlelight vigil at the fountain last night. 334 00:15:27,436 --> 00:15:28,857 Hundreds showed up. 335 00:15:28,957 --> 00:15:31,480 Of course, only five people could fit around it at one time. 336 00:15:33,321 --> 00:15:35,323 They had the vigil in shifts. 337 00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:38,486 I think they're still going. 338 00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:40,708 This is a tough time. 339 00:15:40,808 --> 00:15:44,231 A beloved man has passed on to his great reward, 340 00:15:44,331 --> 00:15:46,033 and people are going to be a little upset. 341 00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:48,595 Garfield esta muerto! 342 00:15:48,695 --> 00:15:50,397 Por que? 343 00:15:50,497 --> 00:15:52,498 Por que? 344 00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,024 Sheesh! 345 00:16:00,986 --> 00:16:04,129 Let me just say that Abe Garfield was a good man, 346 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:07,011 and a good mayor, and for this, he will be missed. 347 00:16:07,111 --> 00:16:09,894 He was a good friend. We knew him well. 348 00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:13,097 So today, our love goes out to his wife, 349 00:16:13,197 --> 00:16:15,899 our thoughts and prayers, to his children. 350 00:16:15,999 --> 00:16:18,021 Garfield didn't have any children. 351 00:16:18,121 --> 00:16:21,284 Then the thoughts and prayers go to the wife, too. 352 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,929 Will there be some kind of memorial service for Garfield? 353 00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:29,511 Yes, yes. 354 00:16:29,611 --> 00:16:33,595 The ex-mayor will be honored and remembered for his years of public service. 355 00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:36,518 Now, will mayor Winston be delivering a eulogy at the memorial? 356 00:16:36,618 --> 00:16:38,619 Yes and no. 357 00:16:41,302 --> 00:16:42,923 Let me just clarify that. 358 00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:45,606 Yes, the mayor will be speaking. 359 00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:49,649 But then again, maybe he won't. Who knows? 360 00:16:49,749 --> 00:16:53,253 Right now, the only thing that we can say 361 00:16:53,353 --> 00:16:58,477 is that ex-mayor Garfield is in fact still dead. 362 00:17:00,999 --> 00:17:02,341 MIKE: (WHISPERING) Think they heard us? 363 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:04,422 ASHLEY: (WHISPERING) I don't know. Take off your shoes. 364 00:17:04,522 --> 00:17:06,304 Yeah. Good idea. 365 00:17:06,404 --> 00:17:08,226 Oh, and while we're at it, 366 00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:10,328 why don't you take off your clothes? 367 00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:14,151 What? 368 00:17:14,251 --> 00:17:17,274 I'd take off mine except for the fact that we're prisoners in our own home. 369 00:17:17,374 --> 00:17:20,677 Can you please try to focus on the issue at hand here? 370 00:17:20,777 --> 00:17:24,821 Hey, I'm not the one who invited these two circus freaks into our life. 371 00:17:25,781 --> 00:17:27,483 Oh, so you're saying it's my fault? 372 00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:29,325 Yeah, I'm definitely saying that. 373 00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:32,207 You're just going to wash your hands clean of the whole situation? 374 00:17:32,307 --> 00:17:35,330 You know, I'd love to, but Yale's probably in the damn bathroom! 375 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,252 (BOTH SHUSHING) 376 00:17:37,352 --> 00:17:38,333 (SIGHS) 377 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,434 We have to reclaim our lives. 378 00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:43,557 Okay. Listen, 379 00:17:44,318 --> 00:17:46,320 I have some friends 380 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,882 with the police department. 381 00:17:49,883 --> 00:17:52,685 I can have him arrested on trumped-up drug charges. 382 00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:57,950 It's too big. 383 00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:00,913 Yeah. I think one of us just needs to talk to them. 384 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,955 They'd probably only do five, 10 years. 385 00:18:04,055 --> 00:18:07,018 You're right. You're right. You're right. I'll talk to them. 386 00:18:07,659 --> 00:18:09,280 I mean, we're adults. 387 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,802 We shouldn't have to be afraid of these people. 388 00:18:11,902 --> 00:18:12,923 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 389 00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:16,346 MARIA: Mike? Ashley? Hello. 390 00:18:17,908 --> 00:18:19,730 (SOFTLY) Don't move. 391 00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:20,931 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 392 00:18:21,031 --> 00:18:23,032 YALE: Come on. We saw you from the street. 393 00:18:26,435 --> 00:18:28,217 What happened to the speech I had James write? 394 00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:29,298 Oh, uh, yeah. 395 00:18:29,398 --> 00:18:32,181 I had James make one or two changes 396 00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:33,942 just for stylistic purposes. 397 00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:37,065 Well, what happened to the part about the blood on my hands? 398 00:18:37,165 --> 00:18:39,027 Sir, you can't go up to that podium 399 00:18:39,127 --> 00:18:42,109 and say that you killed Abe Garfield. 400 00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:43,551 I mean, I might be wrong, 401 00:18:43,651 --> 00:18:45,392 but I think that could hurt us in the polls. 402 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,154 This isn't about politics, Mike. 403 00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:49,296 This is about taking responsibility. 404 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:51,318 (SIGHS) 405 00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:53,159 It's about being a man. 406 00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:54,721 Oh! 407 00:18:54,821 --> 00:18:56,042 Ow. That hurt. 408 00:18:56,142 --> 00:18:58,144 Oh. 409 00:19:07,352 --> 00:19:09,674 MAYOR: Abe Garfield was a good man. 410 00:19:10,835 --> 00:19:12,697 I must admit... 411 00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:14,798 No, I must confess that... 412 00:19:19,122 --> 00:19:21,124 I'm sorry. I can't go on. 413 00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:25,628 You okay, Paul? 414 00:19:25,728 --> 00:19:27,109 Yeah, yeah. 415 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,592 I'm just proud to be working for a man 416 00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:32,314 who's just not afraid to show his feelings to the world. 417 00:19:32,414 --> 00:19:34,116 It will be okay, Paul. 418 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,517 You just need... 419 00:19:35,617 --> 00:19:37,619 You just need to give me 10 bucks. 420 00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:40,121 What? 421 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,402 Your baby napkin. 422 00:19:41,502 --> 00:19:43,504 Oh, sugar. 423 00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:49,009 Well, Tucker went through the wash. 424 00:19:49,109 --> 00:19:51,331 Here's my 10 bucks. 425 00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:53,093 We'll divert the rest of his college fund 426 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,335 towards another round of drinks. 427 00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:57,436 Where's yours, James? 428 00:19:58,277 --> 00:19:59,859 Oh, my God, where's my baby? 429 00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,141 Where's my baby? I had the baby at the office. 430 00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:03,942 I brought the baby to the bar. 431 00:20:04,042 --> 00:20:05,504 I put the baby on the table. 432 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,265 Stuart asked me if he could see the baby. 433 00:20:07,365 --> 00:20:09,367 (BLOWS NOSE) 434 00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:13,691 Ten bucks. 435 00:20:17,775 --> 00:20:18,916 I believe (CLEARS THROAT) 436 00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:21,958 you have something that belongs to me. 437 00:20:22,058 --> 00:20:23,960 Mmm. 438 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:25,241 Mmm-hmm. 439 00:20:25,341 --> 00:20:27,163 Carter, I'm sure you've heard it 1,000 times. 440 00:20:27,263 --> 00:20:29,485 All the good ones are either married or... 441 00:20:29,585 --> 00:20:31,587 I know. I know. 442 00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,690 I made such a fool out of myself. 443 00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:38,073 No, sir. You thoroughly honored Garfield's memory. 444 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,295 I was moved. 445 00:20:40,395 --> 00:20:41,856 Everybody in the whole park was moved. 446 00:20:41,956 --> 00:20:44,719 I mean, you cried, sir. 447 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:46,780 (SIGHS) 448 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,502 That wasn't me, Mike. 449 00:20:48,602 --> 00:20:50,604 That was the Binaca talking. 450 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,287 Garfield. 451 00:20:54,888 --> 00:20:57,750 You know, strange, isn't it? 452 00:20:57,850 --> 00:20:59,852 How could I have missed my mouth? 453 00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,755 Happens to a lot of people. 454 00:21:02,855 --> 00:21:04,856 You know, the little nozzle gets bent. 455 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,100 But how incredible was that timing, huh? 456 00:21:10,421 --> 00:21:12,523 Pretty damn good. 457 00:21:12,623 --> 00:21:14,765 There I was, about to confess... 458 00:21:14,865 --> 00:21:16,767 To something that wasn't your fault. 459 00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:18,369 And this little canister stopped me. 460 00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:19,850 Do you believe in signs, Mike? 461 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,772 Depends. 462 00:21:21,872 --> 00:21:25,415 I think that Garfield saved me from myself. 463 00:21:25,515 --> 00:21:28,037 Then, yes, I definitely do believe in signs. 464 00:21:30,279 --> 00:21:31,660 We owe him one. 465 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,762 Mmm. 466 00:21:34,122 --> 00:21:35,504 Open up, Abe. 467 00:21:35,604 --> 00:21:37,606 Oh, my God. 468 00:21:41,569 --> 00:21:43,571 MARIA: (ON TV) This is the hunger strike. 469 00:21:43,931 --> 00:21:45,933 You know something though... 470 00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:48,335 I'm really starting to enjoy this. 471 00:21:49,056 --> 00:21:51,078 I can't understand what you mean... Shh! 472 00:21:51,178 --> 00:21:52,319 This is my favorite part. 473 00:21:52,419 --> 00:21:54,401 YALE: (ON TV) Oh... 474 00:21:54,501 --> 00:21:56,683 Oh... 475 00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,865 I'm so hungry. 476 00:22:01,307 --> 00:22:03,308 Oh, Yale, that's great. 477 00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:07,232 Popcorn?