1 00:00:01,641 --> 00:00:03,503 ASHLEY: I can't believe you agreed to do this interview. 2 00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:05,425 Why not? It's a new magazine show. 3 00:00:05,525 --> 00:00:07,567 They want to do a piece on the man behind the mayor. 4 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:09,229 That's me. 5 00:00:09,329 --> 00:00:10,710 It's not journalism, Mike. 6 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,812 Well, I'd watch it. 7 00:00:14,254 --> 00:00:15,355 What do you think of this? 8 00:00:15,455 --> 00:00:17,157 Too "Aren't I dashing?" 9 00:00:17,257 --> 00:00:19,279 Okay. 10 00:00:19,379 --> 00:00:22,041 Will you just explain to me why you are news? 11 00:00:22,141 --> 00:00:25,085 I am news because I'm so good at my job 12 00:00:25,185 --> 00:00:27,287 that people like you, who are supposed to report the news, 13 00:00:27,387 --> 00:00:29,389 have no real news to report. 14 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:31,611 How about this one? 15 00:00:31,711 --> 00:00:32,972 Too thought out. 16 00:00:33,072 --> 00:00:35,155 Too "I left my more dashing tie in the closet." 17 00:00:37,477 --> 00:00:39,479 Wow. 18 00:00:39,919 --> 00:00:42,182 It's nothing personal. I just think it's a silly story. 19 00:00:42,282 --> 00:00:44,284 Let me tell you something, missy. 20 00:00:45,725 --> 00:00:47,187 In the history of New York City, 21 00:00:47,287 --> 00:00:49,189 there's been one mayor whose approval ratings were higher. 22 00:00:49,289 --> 00:00:50,830 His name was Louis Bundt. It was 1622. 23 00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:52,512 The population was 75. 24 00:00:52,612 --> 00:00:54,854 It was Thanksgiving, and he owned a turkey farm. 25 00:00:56,696 --> 00:00:58,698 I believe you can do the math. 26 00:00:59,299 --> 00:01:00,880 Aren't you being just a little cocky? 27 00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:02,802 I'm just at the top of my game. 28 00:01:02,902 --> 00:01:03,923 I'm just... I... I... 29 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,245 I'm making no mistakes. 30 00:01:05,345 --> 00:01:08,027 I see a problem, I solve it. 31 00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:10,610 How about this? 32 00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:12,712 Your old girlfriend gave you that tie. 33 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,642 Problem solved. 34 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,485 It's so easy! 35 00:01:26,446 --> 00:01:28,448 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 36 00:01:42,662 --> 00:01:43,803 Camera crew here yet? 37 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:45,525 Yeah, they're in your office setting up. 38 00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:47,627 What happened to your tie? 39 00:01:48,028 --> 00:01:50,090 Thought I'd go without one. 40 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:51,171 You don't like it? 41 00:01:51,271 --> 00:01:52,372 It's too "Look at me, 42 00:01:52,472 --> 00:01:53,493 "I'm the only guy cool enough 43 00:01:53,593 --> 00:01:55,595 "not to wear a tie." 44 00:01:56,076 --> 00:01:57,057 Mayor's speech for tonight, 45 00:01:57,157 --> 00:01:58,378 minutes of the city council meeting, 46 00:01:58,478 --> 00:01:59,900 and Paul. 47 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,741 Paul. 48 00:02:01,841 --> 00:02:03,183 Good morning, Michael! 49 00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:04,544 I'm not sure you remember me, 50 00:02:04,644 --> 00:02:06,626 so I thought I'd introduce myself. 51 00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:07,707 Paul Lassiter, 52 00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:09,269 I'm the mayor's press secretary. 53 00:02:09,369 --> 00:02:11,371 You hired me, if that helps. 54 00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:13,593 You're upset because I invited 55 00:02:13,693 --> 00:02:14,955 the camera crew in, is that it? 56 00:02:15,055 --> 00:02:17,377 Ah, my little game exposed. 57 00:02:18,418 --> 00:02:19,880 You see right through me, don't you? 58 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:21,641 Look, Mike, I just... I don't trust these people. 59 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,884 Why do they want to interview you? 60 00:02:23,984 --> 00:02:25,986 Because I'm that good. 61 00:02:26,506 --> 00:02:27,567 Why doesn't anybody get this? 62 00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:28,648 All right, okay. Look. 63 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,050 At least promise me this. 64 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,291 You'll lock her in your room. 65 00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:32,652 You'll give her one hour of your time, 66 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,254 And you run into any problems, 67 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,356 You just call in big daddy. 68 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,583 Paul, no matter how hard you try, 69 00:02:43,683 --> 00:02:45,685 no one's ever gonna call you big daddy. 70 00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,768 You don't know that. 71 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,350 Do me a favor, all right? 72 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,112 Go into your office, take a deep breath. 73 00:02:52,212 --> 00:02:54,034 Have a piece of fruit, a bowl of oat bran, 74 00:02:54,134 --> 00:02:56,156 whatever the hell it is you eat, 75 00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:57,718 and relax, all right? 76 00:02:57,818 --> 00:02:59,960 All right. She talks only to you, okay? 77 00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,122 Okay, just... At least give me that, please. 78 00:03:02,222 --> 00:03:03,403 She's not going to hear from just me. 79 00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:05,665 She's gonna want to know what everybody thinks... 80 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,588 about me. 81 00:03:08,949 --> 00:03:11,291 I'm the number two man in the office. 82 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,652 I should be number one, 83 00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,754 but they gave it to Mike. 84 00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:17,878 I think it's because he has better hair. 85 00:03:19,679 --> 00:03:22,302 I was really excited when Mike offered me this job. 86 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,224 You know, I was always really good at math, 87 00:03:24,324 --> 00:03:27,507 but I didn't want to end up in some boring job, 88 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:29,750 like an accountant or a bookkeeper. 89 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:31,311 GWEN: So, what do you do? 90 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,413 Mostly accounting and bookkeeping. 91 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,515 I really... I love numbers. 92 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,397 You know, numbers make sense. 93 00:03:37,497 --> 00:03:38,719 They don't lie. 94 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,081 They don't lead you the wrong way. 95 00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:43,523 They don't tell you they'll come over for dinner 96 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,005 and then they don't show up, 97 00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:46,607 So you get depressed, you go out for a cup of coffee. 98 00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:48,709 Then you see them walking down the street with another woman... 99 00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,672 smiling, happy. 100 00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:57,517 I'm sorry, what were we talking about? 101 00:03:58,598 --> 00:04:00,600 You don't want to answer any of my questions? 102 00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:03,323 I have nothing to say. 103 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,995 Well, after I ran the mayor's campaign for him, 104 00:04:15,095 --> 00:04:17,097 he brought me aboard as deputy mayor. 105 00:04:17,898 --> 00:04:18,999 It's a big responsibility, 106 00:04:19,099 --> 00:04:22,302 But I'm just doing the best I can. 107 00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:24,324 Are you ready to begin? 108 00:04:24,424 --> 00:04:26,426 Oh, the interview. 109 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,129 Oh, I... 110 00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:30,210 I, uh... 111 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,372 I-I completely forgot. 112 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,474 We'll just wing it. 113 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,998 (CLEARS THROAT) Well, let's see. Um... 114 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,461 How did you get your start at City Hall? 115 00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:43,624 Well, after I ran the mayor's campaign for him, 116 00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:46,306 he brought me aboard as deputy mayor. 117 00:04:46,406 --> 00:04:49,069 It's a big responsibility, but I'm... 118 00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:51,171 And I'm just doing the best I can. 119 00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:55,075 Well, you guys are sure riding high right now. 120 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:56,597 If we get any higher, we're gonna need 121 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:57,838 clearance from our local airports, 122 00:04:57,938 --> 00:04:59,940 "Wink at her and laugh." 123 00:05:08,348 --> 00:05:10,731 Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to drop off... 124 00:05:10,831 --> 00:05:11,972 Karen, please, come in. 125 00:05:12,072 --> 00:05:14,615 We're just doing a little interview here. 126 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,176 This is Karen Palmieri, 127 00:05:16,276 --> 00:05:18,138 one of the interns I've hired. 128 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:19,379 I think it's important to keep in touch 129 00:05:19,479 --> 00:05:22,302 with what young people are thinking and feeling. 130 00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:24,404 So Karen, what is on the mind of young America? 131 00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,488 I don't know. 132 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,154 Okay, honey, we're just doing a little interview. 133 00:05:34,254 --> 00:05:35,235 KAREN: Okie-dokie. 134 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,077 Oh... 135 00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:38,158 Okie-dokie. 136 00:05:38,258 --> 00:05:39,600 (CHUCKLES) 137 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,403 Uh, I'm sorry. Where were we? 138 00:05:42,503 --> 00:05:44,324 Do you mind if I ask you some personal stuff? 139 00:05:44,424 --> 00:05:46,426 No, go. Go ahead. Shoot. 140 00:05:47,107 --> 00:05:48,048 You're a local boy. 141 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,209 That's right, born and bred, 142 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:50,811 Stuyvesant High School, Fordham University. 143 00:05:50,911 --> 00:05:52,092 City's in your blood. 144 00:05:52,192 --> 00:05:54,595 No city like it, the big banana. 145 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:00,661 Apple. 146 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,763 (CHUCKLES) 147 00:06:04,805 --> 00:06:06,266 I need a minute. It's important. 148 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,308 Oh, we'll step out. 149 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,789 No, that's all right. You can stay. 150 00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:10,471 Go ahead, Carter. Shoot. 151 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,752 Are we gonna stand idly by 152 00:06:11,852 --> 00:06:13,854 while AIDS continues to ravage our city? 153 00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:18,619 Why don't you take a five? 154 00:06:23,664 --> 00:06:24,725 I'm gonna go get some coffee. 155 00:06:24,825 --> 00:06:26,447 Does anybody want some? 156 00:06:26,547 --> 00:06:28,369 James? 157 00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:30,471 Oh, I uh... 158 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,594 Uh, coffee turns my stomach. 159 00:06:38,078 --> 00:06:40,240 And the correct answer to that question was... 160 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,465 The correct answer was 161 00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:47,207 "I'd love coffee. Sleep with me now." 162 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:52,553 I think our fair miss Gwen has a crush on you, James. 163 00:06:52,653 --> 00:06:54,315 What? She does not. 164 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,716 Yeah. Didn't you see? 165 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,358 She adjusted her bra strap when she said your name. 166 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:58,599 Excuse me? Yeah. 167 00:06:58,699 --> 00:06:59,960 You say a guy's name, 168 00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:02,062 then you hitch yourself up a little. 169 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:08,889 You know, it draws the attention to the breasts. 170 00:07:08,989 --> 00:07:10,050 And you do that? 171 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,152 I'm not proud of it. 172 00:07:13,714 --> 00:07:15,095 All I'm saying is that 173 00:07:15,195 --> 00:07:17,378 the city is putting up its AIDS prevention pamphlets again. 174 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:18,699 That money would be much better spent 175 00:07:18,799 --> 00:07:20,100 on a more aggressive campaign 176 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,583 where we institute a needle exchange program. 177 00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:23,864 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 178 00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:25,966 Will you stop with the needles? 179 00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:30,110 Nobody gets upset when you hand out pamphlets 180 00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:31,832 because it's almost impossible 181 00:07:31,932 --> 00:07:35,156 to inject narcotics with a pamphlet. 182 00:07:35,256 --> 00:07:37,278 The savings to the city in hospital related costs... 183 00:07:37,378 --> 00:07:39,079 I can't... I can't do it, Carter. 184 00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:42,123 I mean, it'll look like the mayor is condoning drug use, 185 00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,605 And we are in a war against drugs, in case you haven't noticed. 186 00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,687 Is this the same war we've been fighting the last 40 years? 187 00:07:46,787 --> 00:07:47,808 Yep. How are we doing? 188 00:07:47,908 --> 00:07:49,910 Any day now. 189 00:07:50,911 --> 00:07:52,693 Mike, you brought me in here by saying 190 00:07:52,793 --> 00:07:53,894 I could make some changes, 191 00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:55,936 And yet you reject every proposal that I make. 192 00:07:56,036 --> 00:07:57,698 Politics is a game of base hits. 193 00:07:57,798 --> 00:07:59,300 You keep swinging for home runs. 194 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,621 I've been here three weeks. 195 00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:01,782 I've put my name on my desk 196 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,104 And switched the office to decaf. 197 00:08:03,204 --> 00:08:05,206 That's the sum total of my accomplishments. 198 00:08:07,968 --> 00:08:09,970 I'm drinking decaf? 199 00:08:13,254 --> 00:08:14,395 GWEN: When did Mike hire you? 200 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,676 About a month ago. 201 00:08:15,776 --> 00:08:17,118 GWEN: And you're gay? 202 00:08:17,218 --> 00:08:19,220 Except for one night in college, but I was drunk. 203 00:08:26,187 --> 00:08:27,288 I'm not trying to pry. 204 00:08:27,388 --> 00:08:29,090 I was just wondering if being gay 205 00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:30,371 gets in the way of... 206 00:08:30,471 --> 00:08:31,452 What is your position here? 207 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,614 Special assistant on minority affairs. 208 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:34,975 And what exactly do you do? 209 00:08:35,075 --> 00:08:37,078 Apparently, nothing. 210 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,462 Where's the camera guy? 211 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,564 There...There... There's no camera guy. 212 00:08:45,486 --> 00:08:46,467 I sent him home. 213 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,269 Is that right? 214 00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:49,750 Is that safe? 215 00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,352 (GIGGLES) 216 00:08:51,452 --> 00:08:53,614 I'm very attracted to you, James. 217 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,157 That's not a question. 218 00:08:56,257 --> 00:08:58,259 Everyone else got questions. 219 00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,282 Maybe it's this assignment. 220 00:09:01,382 --> 00:09:03,364 Maybe it's City Hall. 221 00:09:03,464 --> 00:09:05,846 Maybe it's you, James. 222 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,568 But for the first time in my life, 223 00:09:07,668 --> 00:09:09,890 I feel completely in control. 224 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:11,892 (CHUCKLES) 225 00:09:11,992 --> 00:09:13,995 I... I can see that. 226 00:09:14,715 --> 00:09:15,937 I want you, James. 227 00:09:16,037 --> 00:09:18,039 Oh, dear God. 228 00:09:22,323 --> 00:09:24,325 Can I get the tape of this? 229 00:09:28,449 --> 00:09:29,550 MAYOR: And so, with the creation 230 00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,472 of these 34,000 new jobs, 231 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,354 we feel we're at least taking the first step 232 00:09:33,454 --> 00:09:35,316 towards one of our main goals for this city, 233 00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,557 job creation. 234 00:09:36,657 --> 00:09:38,880 We made many promises when we came into office, 235 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:41,302 and we're gonna keep the ones we can. 236 00:09:44,505 --> 00:09:45,446 What? 237 00:09:45,546 --> 00:09:47,548 All right, any other questions? 238 00:09:48,189 --> 00:09:49,130 Nothing? 239 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:50,932 That's music to my ears. 240 00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:52,894 If that's all you people have, I have one last thing 241 00:09:52,994 --> 00:09:54,295 that I'd like to share with you. 242 00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:56,217 This is a hypodermic needle. 243 00:09:56,317 --> 00:09:58,019 Who said that? 244 00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,262 Now, about 40% of all new AIDS cases 245 00:10:01,362 --> 00:10:03,985 in the city can be traced back to contaminated needles. 246 00:10:04,085 --> 00:10:07,748 Now that adds up to about $24 million a year 247 00:10:07,848 --> 00:10:09,991 in AIDS related health care costs. 248 00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:12,153 So I'm issuing an executive order. 249 00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:13,634 You bring in a dirty needle 250 00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:15,716 to any New York City health care clinic, 251 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,518 and you get a clean one free! 252 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,360 (ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 253 00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:20,681 Aren't you concerned that this policy 254 00:10:20,781 --> 00:10:21,763 is gonna create the impression 255 00:10:21,863 --> 00:10:22,964 that you're soft on drugs? 256 00:10:23,064 --> 00:10:25,767 I mean, you're proposing that we use city funds 257 00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:28,649 to provide paraphernalia to drug addicts. 258 00:10:28,749 --> 00:10:30,892 Michael, take this needle away from me, 259 00:10:30,992 --> 00:10:32,994 would you, please? 260 00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:36,898 Yeah, that's right. No comment. 261 00:10:36,998 --> 00:10:38,179 Yeah, I was there. 262 00:10:38,279 --> 00:10:39,861 Yes, I heard him say that, 263 00:10:39,961 --> 00:10:41,963 And yet, I still have no comment. 264 00:10:43,524 --> 00:10:44,585 Honey, no offense, 265 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,347 but I really hate the press. 266 00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:48,509 It's all right. I understand. 267 00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:49,751 Let's get ready for bed. 268 00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:51,352 I've got to wake up really early tomorrow. 269 00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:52,393 How come? 270 00:10:52,493 --> 00:10:53,474 I want to get to City Hall 271 00:10:53,574 --> 00:10:55,576 before all the free needles are gone. 272 00:11:00,221 --> 00:11:02,163 Cute. 273 00:11:02,263 --> 00:11:03,204 You through? 274 00:11:03,304 --> 00:11:05,286 Can I have one more? 275 00:11:05,386 --> 00:11:06,567 No. 276 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,910 All right. I'll stop needling you. 277 00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:12,814 You know, it's really nice to have 278 00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:15,697 such a strong base of support at home. 279 00:11:15,797 --> 00:11:17,538 Oh, honey, I'm just having some fun. 280 00:11:17,638 --> 00:11:19,300 I mean, you know you'll have a rough time for a few days, 281 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,222 And then it'll just... It'll all blow over. 282 00:11:21,322 --> 00:11:23,064 Come on, let's watch your interview. 283 00:11:23,164 --> 00:11:24,786 I don't wanna. 284 00:11:24,886 --> 00:11:26,387 It'll cheer you up. 285 00:11:26,487 --> 00:11:28,049 Yeah, right. Anyway, It was supposed to be on after the weather. 286 00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:30,271 They keep talking about a cold snap in Sri Lanka. 287 00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:32,193 What is this? 288 00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:34,295 You're on the weather channel, Michael. 289 00:11:37,138 --> 00:11:38,399 Jeez. 290 00:11:38,499 --> 00:11:39,721 Hey, there I am. 291 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:41,843 Oh, look how cute you are. 292 00:11:41,943 --> 00:11:44,125 I am not. 293 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,526 You are. 294 00:11:45,626 --> 00:11:47,088 Oh, go on. 295 00:11:47,188 --> 00:11:48,249 You are, you are. 296 00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:49,611 Everybody knows that, and I love you. 297 00:11:49,711 --> 00:11:51,713 Shh. Turn it up. Turn it up. 298 00:11:52,473 --> 00:11:54,836 MIKE: (ON TV) Yep, I love the big banana. 299 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,458 Apple. (LAUGHS) 300 00:11:57,558 --> 00:11:58,540 That's good. 301 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,501 Yeah, you always want to make 'em laugh. 302 00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:02,544 It's very savvy. 303 00:12:02,644 --> 00:12:04,746 GWEN: (ON TV) And your girlfriend's a reporter? 304 00:12:04,846 --> 00:12:07,268 Oh, she's a great reporter, One of the best. 305 00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:08,630 GWEN: So how does that work 306 00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:10,191 with your job being so politically sensitive? 307 00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,293 Do you think she ever makes exceptions for you? 308 00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:14,195 MIKE: I hope so. 309 00:12:14,295 --> 00:12:15,396 Why do you think I'm dating her? 310 00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,498 (BOTH LAUGHING ON TV) 311 00:12:18,099 --> 00:12:20,181 (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) 312 00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:25,747 Oh, no. 313 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,274 Ah. You wanted to see me? 314 00:12:34,155 --> 00:12:35,256 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 315 00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:36,498 It's no big deal. 316 00:12:36,598 --> 00:12:38,139 I was wondering if you could just help me 317 00:12:38,239 --> 00:12:40,241 get this knife out of my back. 318 00:12:43,444 --> 00:12:44,425 It's... It's weird 319 00:12:44,525 --> 00:12:45,667 'Cause I can't reach it, 320 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:47,769 So I know I didn't put it there. 321 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,351 You gonna lecture me now or is that it? 322 00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:52,453 'Cause my decaf's getting cold. I wanna... 323 00:12:54,455 --> 00:12:56,037 Sit down, Carter. I'll stand. 324 00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,398 Fine, then stand. 325 00:12:57,498 --> 00:12:58,920 I'll sit. 326 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:01,022 Well, this is fun. 327 00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:03,204 Oh, it's more than fun. 328 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:06,047 We've answered a great philosophical question. 329 00:13:06,147 --> 00:13:08,610 If the deputy mayor speaks in his office 330 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,412 and there are no cameras there to hear it, 331 00:13:10,512 --> 00:13:12,514 does he make a sound? 332 00:13:14,516 --> 00:13:16,578 All right, I was a little distracted yesterday. 333 00:13:16,678 --> 00:13:17,779 That does not justify you putting 334 00:13:17,879 --> 00:13:19,140 your own personal agenda 335 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,622 ahead of the mayor's best interests. 336 00:13:20,722 --> 00:13:22,584 This issue deserves a little noise. 337 00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:23,785 As far as I'm concerned, 338 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:25,106 It was a huge victory just getting the mayor 339 00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:27,148 to publicly speak out on the subject. 340 00:13:27,248 --> 00:13:28,550 You set the guy up. 341 00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:29,751 And now he's gonna go out 342 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,152 and get beat up by the press, 343 00:13:31,252 --> 00:13:32,914 and do you know why? 344 00:13:33,014 --> 00:13:35,076 Because he's a good man, 345 00:13:35,176 --> 00:13:37,779 Because he cares, because he trusted you. 346 00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:41,483 (CLEARS THROAT) What do you want from me? 347 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:43,004 I think an apology is in order. 348 00:13:43,104 --> 00:13:44,926 And then I would like you to say 349 00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:47,168 that the exchange program was your idea, retract the whole thing. 350 00:13:47,268 --> 00:13:50,271 Where are you going? Come back here. Stop! 351 00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:52,654 Stay! 352 00:13:52,754 --> 00:13:54,736 Sit! 353 00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:58,319 That's right, you just keep walking, pal! 354 00:13:59,801 --> 00:14:01,743 I'm telling you, there's out of the loop, 355 00:14:01,843 --> 00:14:03,265 And then there's out of the loop. 356 00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:04,946 Imagine how pleased I was 357 00:14:05,046 --> 00:14:06,468 when you allowed the mayor to practically 358 00:14:06,568 --> 00:14:08,570 shoot up in front of the press. 359 00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:13,915 Please, Paul. I'm not feeling real loved right now. 360 00:14:14,015 --> 00:14:15,237 For what it's worth, 361 00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,038 I thought you looked great on TV last night. 362 00:14:17,138 --> 00:14:18,320 Very cute. 363 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:19,521 Yeah, me, too. 364 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,623 I wanted to scoop you right up. 365 00:14:23,385 --> 00:14:24,606 (LAUGHING) And that thing 366 00:14:24,706 --> 00:14:25,967 that you said about Ashley... 367 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,069 Whoa, boy! 368 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,494 I'll be quiet now. 369 00:14:32,594 --> 00:14:35,777 Morning, guys. I made cookies for everyone. 370 00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:37,339 What the hell are you so cheerful about? 371 00:14:37,439 --> 00:14:40,061 Nothing. Just very happy to be here. 372 00:14:40,161 --> 00:14:41,623 That look, I know that look. 373 00:14:41,723 --> 00:14:43,385 You had sex last night. 374 00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:44,586 James, good work. 375 00:14:44,686 --> 00:14:46,688 Was there a woman involved? 376 00:14:47,849 --> 00:14:49,311 It was Gwen, wasn't it? 377 00:14:49,411 --> 00:14:50,512 You're right, that works. 378 00:14:50,612 --> 00:14:52,674 I'm strangely drawn to you. 379 00:14:52,774 --> 00:14:54,316 Oh, great, great. 380 00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:55,517 You're sleeping with a reporter. 381 00:14:55,617 --> 00:14:57,359 Why don't we all sleep with reporters? 382 00:14:57,459 --> 00:14:59,981 We can start a press outreach program. 383 00:15:00,822 --> 00:15:02,444 What's... What's so bad? 384 00:15:02,544 --> 00:15:04,546 Listen, James, uh... 385 00:15:05,707 --> 00:15:07,609 You can't see this girl anymore. 386 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:08,730 What? 387 00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,292 You're forbidding me to see her? 388 00:15:10,392 --> 00:15:12,394 It's for your own good. You'll thank me later. 389 00:15:13,635 --> 00:15:15,857 Mike, you date a reporter. 390 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,340 I mean, this is a total gyp! Why? 391 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,902 Why? Because I said so, that's why. 392 00:15:21,002 --> 00:15:23,004 Now go to your desk. 393 00:15:25,086 --> 00:15:27,109 Well, this is so totally unfair! 394 00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:29,571 You just bought yourself a day without television. 395 00:15:33,535 --> 00:15:34,996 Throw in an overweight, drunken mother, 396 00:15:35,096 --> 00:15:37,098 and that's my childhood. 397 00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:46,288 Hey, can I sit down? 398 00:15:46,388 --> 00:15:48,390 Yeah, sure. 399 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:50,332 I know that you're probably 400 00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:52,013 upset with me right now, 401 00:15:52,113 --> 00:15:53,695 and you have every reason to be. 402 00:15:53,795 --> 00:15:56,498 Mike, it was a stupid, insensitive thing to say. 403 00:15:56,598 --> 00:16:00,422 It was. It was a stupid, insensitive thing to say. 404 00:16:00,522 --> 00:16:01,503 And I know you love me 405 00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:02,904 and you would never try to hurt me. 406 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:05,647 I do, I love you, I would never try to hurt you. 407 00:16:07,169 --> 00:16:08,270 'Cause I know that you respect me 408 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:10,152 as a woman and as a reporter. 409 00:16:10,252 --> 00:16:11,313 Okay, you've got to stop now, 410 00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:13,415 'cause you're stealing all my best stuff. 411 00:16:14,656 --> 00:16:18,000 Honey, I came here prepared to do some serious groveling. 412 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,102 I do like to see you grovel. 413 00:16:20,622 --> 00:16:21,763 Well, would you like me to, 414 00:16:21,863 --> 00:16:23,765 or do you want to do it for me? 415 00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:25,927 What if there is some truth in what you said? 416 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,450 I mean, maybe I do take it too easy on you, you know. 417 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:30,212 Maybe I don't push as hard as I should 418 00:16:30,312 --> 00:16:31,613 because I love you. 419 00:16:31,713 --> 00:16:33,815 Well, that's... That's good. 420 00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:36,538 No, Mike, that's bad. 421 00:16:36,638 --> 00:16:37,779 You know, you're right, that's bad. 422 00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:39,541 That's very bad. 423 00:16:39,641 --> 00:16:41,643 You've completely turned me around on this. 424 00:16:43,325 --> 00:16:45,427 I love my job, Mike. I need to be good at it. 425 00:16:45,527 --> 00:16:46,628 You know, I need to be good at it 426 00:16:46,728 --> 00:16:48,230 even when I don't want to be. 427 00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:50,392 Come here. 428 00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:52,114 You're gonna be fine. 429 00:16:52,214 --> 00:16:53,875 You don't know what the hell I'm talking about, do you? 430 00:16:53,975 --> 00:16:55,977 No, but you'll tell me later. 431 00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:01,443 The program is dead. 432 00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:03,645 It was a mistake and it was my fault. 433 00:17:03,745 --> 00:17:05,167 But when you look at the statistics 434 00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:06,608 and the staggering human cost, 435 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,850 you just want to do something. 436 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:10,572 But you see, I... 437 00:17:10,672 --> 00:17:12,814 I never considered the down sides to this policy... 438 00:17:12,914 --> 00:17:14,916 If you'll allow me, your honor. 439 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,463 The reason Mayor Winston never considered the down sides 440 00:17:21,563 --> 00:17:23,986 was because I failed to tell him about them. 441 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,909 This policy was my baby. 442 00:17:27,009 --> 00:17:28,150 I sold the mayor on it, 443 00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:30,152 And so really I should take the blame. 444 00:17:30,252 --> 00:17:32,074 Mr. Haywood, please, please. 445 00:17:32,174 --> 00:17:33,475 Mr. Heywood. 446 00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:36,478 Uh, I cannot allow Mr. Heywood 447 00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:37,559 to take the fall for this. 448 00:17:37,659 --> 00:17:38,961 It was simply my responsibility 449 00:17:39,061 --> 00:17:40,482 to carefully review every proposal 450 00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:41,844 submitted by staffers, 451 00:17:41,944 --> 00:17:43,846 And I would have seen the inherent problems... 452 00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:45,948 Mike, may I? 453 00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:49,691 Now, of course, ultimately, the responsibility 454 00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:50,933 falls onto my shoulders. 455 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,816 I am, after all, the elected official here. 456 00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,938 But... but... But we all have a role to play. 457 00:17:56,038 --> 00:17:58,740 Perhaps, if I had explained more clearly 458 00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,862 what I was thinking. 459 00:17:59,962 --> 00:18:01,964 Big daddy is not happy. 460 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,106 Give me that, give me that. 461 00:18:04,206 --> 00:18:05,507 Mike, this is ridiculous. 462 00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,349 The press are eating this up. 463 00:18:07,449 --> 00:18:08,430 Well then, wrap it up. 464 00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:10,532 Let's get the hell out of here. 465 00:18:11,253 --> 00:18:14,036 Anyway, I... I think you can see 466 00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,517 that what happened here 467 00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:19,081 represents a breakdown in the bureaucracy 468 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:22,444 rather than a sensitive shift in overall policy 469 00:18:22,544 --> 00:18:24,546 by the administration. 470 00:18:24,947 --> 00:18:26,949 So, thank you all for coming. 471 00:18:27,629 --> 00:18:29,912 You can catch our act at the holiday inn in Passaic. 472 00:18:32,274 --> 00:18:34,276 Every night, 7:00 and 9:00. 473 00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:36,919 Two drink minimum. 474 00:18:37,479 --> 00:18:40,442 So uh, goodnight, drive safe, and God bless. 475 00:18:43,085 --> 00:18:44,827 Can I close or what? 476 00:18:44,927 --> 00:18:46,749 Uh, just one second, please. 477 00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:49,031 I... I really enjoyed the show. 478 00:18:49,131 --> 00:18:50,673 On a more relevant note, 479 00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:53,235 I checked all the figures that you released yesterday, 480 00:18:53,335 --> 00:18:55,477 and they're right on the nose. 481 00:18:55,577 --> 00:18:56,759 So what changed? 482 00:18:56,859 --> 00:18:59,041 I mean, are there facts we don't know about, 483 00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:03,025 or is this simply a total lack of political courage? 484 00:19:20,442 --> 00:19:22,444 I'm sorry, what was the first option? 485 00:19:28,490 --> 00:19:30,112 Okay, honey, enough with the smiling. 486 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,233 (ASHLEY HUMMING) 487 00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,675 And the humming. 488 00:19:32,775 --> 00:19:33,916 Without the smiling and the humming, Mike, 489 00:19:34,016 --> 00:19:35,638 I may be forced to skip. 490 00:19:35,738 --> 00:19:37,519 Please don't. I can do it, Mike. 491 00:19:37,619 --> 00:19:38,721 You know, I can ask the tough questions. 492 00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:41,163 I can go for the jugular, even if it's yours. 493 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,265 Can't tell you how happy that makes me. 494 00:19:44,506 --> 00:19:47,389 You were like a big Mike Flaherty pinata up there. 495 00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:51,574 You know, we really... 496 00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:53,375 We've gotta keep what happens at work 497 00:19:53,475 --> 00:19:55,658 separate from our home life, all right? 498 00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:57,099 There are other games we can play 499 00:19:57,199 --> 00:19:59,201 with a blindfold and a stick. 500 00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:01,463 Right, right. 501 00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:02,745 We don't bring work into the house. 502 00:20:02,845 --> 00:20:03,986 Absolutely. When we're in the house, 503 00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:05,307 no work talk. 504 00:20:05,407 --> 00:20:07,409 We'll talk about other things that interest us. 505 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,476 Well, that's never gonna happen. 506 00:20:13,576 --> 00:20:14,797 We just need some new rules. 507 00:20:14,897 --> 00:20:16,759 I mean, when are we a couple? 508 00:20:16,859 --> 00:20:18,521 When are we at work? 509 00:20:18,621 --> 00:20:19,642 All right. 510 00:20:19,742 --> 00:20:21,203 Okay, I've got rule. 511 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,285 When we're naked... 512 00:20:23,385 --> 00:20:25,387 boyfriend, girlfriend. 513 00:20:26,949 --> 00:20:27,930 You okay with that? 514 00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:29,932 So I would be well within the rules 515 00:20:30,032 --> 00:20:31,934 to ask you a policy question 516 00:20:32,034 --> 00:20:34,036 when I'm wearing this? 517 00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,565 You can ask me anything you want. 518 00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:46,889 Answer's always gonna be yes. 519 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,192 So, how long do you think it'll take you guys 520 00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,294 to recover from the pummeling you got today? 521 00:20:52,975 --> 00:20:54,977 Yes. 522 00:20:56,418 --> 00:20:58,420 Oh god, yes. 523 00:20:59,662 --> 00:21:01,043 Really, that quickly? 524 00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:03,125 Oh, yes, yes. 525 00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:05,227 Yes, yes, yes, 526 00:21:05,668 --> 00:21:07,850 A blanket yes. 527 00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,092 ASHLEY: (GIGGLES) Don't you think you're being 528 00:21:10,192 --> 00:21:11,694 mighty optimistic, Mr. Deputy Mayor? 529 00:21:11,794 --> 00:21:13,816 MIKE: Honey, stop. You're breaking a rule already. 530 00:21:13,916 --> 00:21:15,418 ASHLEY: I've still got one sock on! 531 00:21:15,518 --> 00:21:16,939 (SCREAMS) 532 00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:19,041 MIKE: Not anymore. 533 00:21:19,522 --> 00:21:20,543 James. 534 00:21:20,643 --> 00:21:21,784 Mike, you're here early. 535 00:21:21,884 --> 00:21:23,506 Uh, I'm just finishing up this speech 536 00:21:23,606 --> 00:21:25,508 for the borough president's meeting. 537 00:21:25,608 --> 00:21:27,310 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have used your office. 538 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:28,591 No, no, I'm glad you're here, 539 00:21:28,691 --> 00:21:29,672 'cause I, uh... 540 00:21:29,772 --> 00:21:31,073 I wanna apologize for yesterday. 541 00:21:31,173 --> 00:21:32,194 Oh, no, no, no, that's not... 542 00:21:32,294 --> 00:21:33,916 I was way out of line. 543 00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:34,997 I have no right to tell you 544 00:21:35,097 --> 00:21:36,559 who you can and can't date. 545 00:21:36,659 --> 00:21:39,762 Oh, thanks, Mike. I'll see you later? 546 00:21:39,862 --> 00:21:41,604 Even though I was totally unfair, 547 00:21:41,704 --> 00:21:43,486 you were loyal to a fault. 548 00:21:43,586 --> 00:21:45,588 Mike, you know me. Anything for the team. 549 00:21:46,469 --> 00:21:48,471 You're not wearing any pants, are you, James? 550 00:21:51,434 --> 00:21:53,436 No, Mike, I'm not. 551 00:21:54,517 --> 00:21:55,978 I don't suppose you'd want to me to throw 552 00:21:56,078 --> 00:21:59,382 this stapler at that curtain. 553 00:21:59,482 --> 00:22:01,484 GWEN: Please don't, Mr. Flaherty.