Ashley?
Ash, you up?
You home?
You here?
Marco...
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
ASHLEY: It's 7:00 a.m. Where are you?
I miss your face.
I was hoping you'd make it home last night
or at least before I left.
Hey, listen. I don't want you rushing back to work
without eating anything, okay?
So I left you out juice and toast.
I'm not sure how much juice is left.
And I hope the toast is still good.
Does toast keep?
I hate this! I need you in my life, Mike.
I need you next to me. I need you to open that jar that's on the counter.
Thank you. You are so strong.
I love you, my little Hercules!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay. I want the notes from last night's session.
I want an intravenous line dripping coffee into my left arm.
And I want the jaws of life to get this damn jar open!
Thank you.
Hey, hey. What are you doing? You can't throw that out.
There's a garbage strike going on.
It's the core.
That's food. That's good for you.
That's fiber. Eat it.
Go. Eat.
You didn't get much sleep at all last night, did you?
I got about 10 minutes. Party went around the clock again.
You gonna be okay?
Oh, yeah. I get eight, nine minutes, I'm good for the whole day.
Good morning, good morning, good morning.
Tell us we're almost there, Mike.
Tell us this strike nightmare is almost over.
I wish I could.
I had to cancel three dates this week.
Oh, that's rough. I just moved into a new apartment with my girlfriend
and we haven't spent one night there together.
You always have to win, don't you?
Yes, I do.
Fine. You're more pathetic than me. You happy?
Yes, I am.
Mike, this strike thing, it's gotta end.
I'm going to press conferences,
I got nothing to say!
It's tap city, I'm shootin' blanks!
I'm doing impressions
just to keep the reporters in the room.
Try to stay positive, Paul.
We've already been positive.
We've been hopeful, we've been optimistic, we've been upbeat,
we've been hopefully upbeat, optimistically hopeful.
We, I, I... (STAMMERS)
What, what? Paul, Paul, Paul.
We're unbelievably bored.
All right, people. Try and stay with me.
We gotta move quickly. Mine.
I'll be at the bargaining table all day.
I can't afford to let any other balls drop.
So, Carter, first you. Minority affairs.
You've only been on the job a few days.
I assume you're still settling in.
I've already spoken with the Minority Task Force.
Nothing specific, just an opportunity to open up dialogue.
I've got the Hispanic Society and the Asian American Federation tomorrow.
Logistically, the NAACP is a hassle,
because they have 27 locations in Manhattan alone,
so I'm proposing a meet-and-greet breakfast,
maybe have the mayor do a drop-by.
That's excellent.
All right. Who's next? James.
Uh, do I have to go after Carter?
I mean, I'm writing the mayor's speech
to the city college administrators,
but I only started, like, two minutes ago.
Oh, just give us what you got.
I have, uh, "Good morning city college administrators."
Well, I mean, the rest really writes itself.
Okay.
Bitchin'. I am outta here.
Stuart, you're in charge while I'm gone, all right?
No problem. I'll cover for you.
No, no, you don't understand. I'll be thinking about the strike all day.
I need you to be Deputy Mayor, I need you to be me.
Well, if it's okay, I'd like to set the bar a little higher.
Knock yourself out, Stu.
At last, my time has come.
MIKE: Hey, Stuart.
Get your ass outta my office.
Sorry, Mike.
Still here, huh?
Yep. Just counting the seconds
until we are officially late for the bargaining table.
And there it is. We're official.
Can I buy you a drink?
We'll celebrate.
That's all right. I don't feel that festive.
Missing your girlfriend a little, huh?
I'm trying to remember what she looks like.
I saw her this morning. Very attractive woman.
You know, if you're into that sort of thing.
I am.
You two just moved in together. That's a big step.
Yeah, but we've been serious for such a long time,
I don't think it's gonna be all that different.
Ha-ha. You're lying.
Yeah, I am.
Sounded good, though, right?
That's a tough road.
I lived with a guy for two-and-a-half years.
Listen, if you don't mind me asking...
It's exactly the same.
Really?
Except we get to skip the whole toilet seat argument thing.
Well, there's a perk.
You know it. Up, down. Who cares?
Tell me you don't have to listen to "How's my outfit?"
And I'm switching sides.
Nah, we got that, too.
I'm telling you, it's no different.
So what happened? You and, uh...
Spence. He moved out.
I was always too busy with work.
Never had time for him.
Well, that's good.
Guys, we're not exactly Christopher Columbus
exploring new lands here.
It's been the same deal for the last five mayors.
8.29% over the next 36 months.
And we're adding a dollar a week
to each worker's severance package
retroactive to last December,
plus a dollar increase starting next December.
Why is that pen not in your hand?
8.29 is not gonna do it.
We want 8.3.
8.29, 8.3, what is the difference?
It's... It's tiny. It's minuscule.
It's like this.
Then give it to us.
Not a chance.
We also want 100 new trucks,
two more sick days, and badges.
Badges?
Uh, may I ask why?
We don't want people passing themselves off as sanitation workers.
Oh, yeah. That happens a lot.
8.3. Think about it.
8.29. Learn to love it.
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
We're all working towards the same goal here.
We consider ourselves in partnership with the municipal unions.
But I think this is a fair offer,
and I urge you to consider it.
We're gonna take five.
Just five.
Why not 5.1?
How great was that?
When they came back in, we were all over 'em.
We offered, they countered. They offered, we countered.
I think we even countered our own offer.
That one confused them. Yes.
Sir, this strike is over. Forget about it.
Turn out the lights. The party is over.
They are caving. Watch this.
See this?
I can do that, 'cause that's just garbage,
and that is gonna get picked up tomorrow.
I was eating that.
But you see my point, though, sir.
This thing is in the bag!
Mike, I need you to stop bouncing up and down.
You're making me carsick.
Oh. Sorry, sir. I haven't slept in a few days.
Mmm.
I got a lot of sexual tension going,
about 100 gallons of coffee running through my system.
I mean, I'm feeling a little nervous energy right now.
Bring it down a couple of notches, Mike.
This is down a couple of notches.
Listen up.
Does anybody know what this is?
It's the circle of influence.
James!
You've read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
No. You drew a circle and you wrote "circle of influence" in it.
So nobody's read this book.
Well, look at ya. Course you haven't.
What we need to do
is expand this circle.
Stu, we're real busy.
Busy, yes.
Effective? No.
But it's not your fault.
You see, Mike is just a manger.
I, on the other hand, am a leader.
Carter, are you paying attention?
I'm over here in the circle of "you gotta be kidding me."
All right. Excellent. Excellent.
I worried you all might be working.
Help, Mike. Stuart's scaring us.
Okay. Fake boss out. Real boss in.
Everybody huddle up. All right, Nikki,
I want you to go short. Get on the phone.
I want your best estimate of what the union's next offer's gonna be.
James, square out to your desk.
I want a speech, okay?
This thing could happen at any minute.
I want the mayor ready to talk.
Carter. Throw in the bomb!
Second floor. Concerned citizen's group.
Find out what they want and make 'em happy, okay?
Basic schmooze and snooze.
Put me in, Mike.
Paulie... You're my blockin' bag.
Go right up the middle to the press room.
You got it, coach!
All right, Lassiter. Lassiter!
Everybody in! And...
ALL: Break!
People. People, I'm not gonna continue
until it's quiet and everyone is seated.
I have some pertinent information about the strike
that I think you'll all be interested in.
All right.
The mayor's office can finally say
with 100% certainty,
that we are extremely...
Hopetimistic...
About the possibility of, of the strike...
Wait, wait, please! Hey! Please, people!
So you feel comfortable conceding on these minor points?
It's smart bargaining. Hey, cutie!
Hey, Miss Schaeffer.
Catch up to you later, Mike.
Yes, sir.
So how's my favorite reporter doing?
I have some very, very personal questions for you.
You know me. I always have time for the press.
PAUL: Come back, please. This is unprofessional.
Mike, can you give us a definitive time
when the strike will be over?
Guys, I can't comment on any of this.
We're in negotiations. You know that.
All right, just one more question.
I gotta go. I gotta go.
My schedule may open up later tonight, though.
You think so, Mr. Flaherty?
I really do.
(YELLING QUESTIONS)
That's enough! Hey, you had your chance to listen.
James. Speech.
I think you're gonna like it.
Nikki. Numbers.
On your desk.
Carter, concerned citizens.
Schmoozed and snoozin'.
Stuart, budget report.
No.
Did you call the governor's office with that strike update like I asked?
Not yet.
Did you sign these?
I was gonna read 'em first.
There's 700 pages of legal documents here.
It'll take you eight, nine months.
Oh.
So basically, what you're telling me is you've done nothing.
Mike, that's all busywork. I can do that in 15 minutes.
I did do something, however, that I think will make you smile.
All right, let me have it.
I set up the mayor for ribbon cutting
at the opening of Waterside park.
No, you didn't.
I did.
Oh, Stuart!
That park is being used as an alternate dump site.
It's filled with garbage!
Uh-huh.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I believe the word you're looking for is "oops"!
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
MIKE: Hi, honey. It's your dad.
Just trying to get your attention.
Hopefully you're holding some flowers and some Chinese food.
Either that, or you have no food,
and I just sent a dozen roses to the Hunan Kitchen.
Anyway, same old story.
Lonely deputy mayor seeks quiet night at home with wonderful girlfriend,
but will have to settle for a night in a small room
with sweaty garbage men.
There will be dancing.
I really miss you...
A lot.
Hi. I saw your ad.
You handle waste disposal?
Great. 'Cause I had a little barbecue in a park,
and things got kinda out of hand
and I have some trash that I need cleared.
A little over a ton.
Hello?
Sorry, guys. That's it for my list.
You're telling me that no one in this city
will pick up that garbage?
Apparently, that's the whole concept of a strike.
Well, thank you, new guy.
Okay for the enemy to pass?
Hi. Hi.
He hasn't come in yet.
Oh, well, would you do me a favor?
I got him a clean shirt, his vitamins,
and a couple of swatches of wallpaper for the bathroom.
I take it the hockey pattern was his idea.
I'm humoring him.
Gotcha.
See you later. Bye.
Hey, James. Give Paul his present.
Paul, I got something for you.
Oh, yeah? What?
It's a thesaurus.
A thesaurus!
Jeez, I haven't seen one of these since I was a kid.
Really? Look up "optimistic," Paul.
Optimistic.
Oh, my God!
Oh! This is great!
Oh, gee! I'm "expectant,
"brilliant, happy-go-lucky,
"ebullient." I can't believe it!
Ah, light off.
Didn't know you were here. You just missed Ashley.
She was here?
Yeah. She had to run, though. She brought you some stuff.
Oh, wow. She is amazing, isn't she?
Oh, cool wallpaper!
I'm gonna head out there, see if I can figure out how to get this park cleaned up.
No luck yet? Nada.
You know what's weird?
She works in this building.
I mean, I walk the halls all day. I never get to see her.
But I can sense her presence...
all around me.
That was so beautiful.
I have never heard anything that romantic in my entire life.
Really?
Really never.
Like never never?
Don't rub it in, Mike.
MAYOR: God, what a beautiful park.
Look at the Hudson, will you? All the money spent to clean it up.
You could stick a cup in, pull it out, drink it down.
I'll take your word for that, sir.
Yes. So the park is full of garbage.
Yes. Union picketers are out in force.
Yes. Basically it's an ambush.
Yes. And I suppose you have a plan for dealing with it.
You'd like me to say yes, wouldn't you, sir?
Dead man walking.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(WORKERS CLAMORING)
Parks are not only important
for what they bring to the community.
They are invaluable in the development of our children
and our children's children.
Okay, you gotta watch closely, Stuart.
Have a seat. Okay, See?
Okay, there it is. The breeze just shifted...
And he's getting his first whiff of all that garbage.
I remember the...
park...
in the neighborhood that I grew up.
Okay, see? Now his eyes are tearing up.
I'm getting a little dizzy.
I can't seem to focu...
Right there. There he goes. Down on his knees.
And what does he do when he's down on his knees?
(VOMITING)
You should see Channel 4.
They're running it in slow motion.
That was disgusting.
I don't think we need to hear from you, James.
Stuart, if I were you, I wouldn't be giving James lip.
I'd be working on my resume.
Sorry, Mike.
I tried to do the best I could.
Oh, what?
Oh, what do you want from me, huh?
I'm killing myself trying to fix this thing,
I haven't seen my girlfriend in days,
and I'm supposed to, what, feel guilty?
Pfft!
Maybe I should go and talk to him.
Hello.
Hey.
Wait a minute. I know you.
Don't tell me. God, this is embarrassing.
Uh. Oh, that's right.
We live together.
That's a vicious rumor. Unconfirmed.
No one has ever seen us in the same place.
Well, on the plus side, this whole commitment thing
turned out to be a lot easier than we expected.
Yeah. We're doing great.
I mean, if we keep this up
when we're still spending time together,
we have ourselves a relationship.
Look at me looking at you,
face-to-face, finally.
(SIGHS)
I don't even know what to say.
Yeah. I made a list. Um...
We need toothpaste.
We're out of detergent.
For some reason, you brought the jam to the office.
Let me just skip to the important stuff.
I love you.
Ashley, some TV guys just pulled up outside.
Something going on?
WOMAN: Mike, the mayor's office. Now.
I guess so. So...
Yeah, um...
Yeah.
I think it's a good proposal, sir.
We're getting almost everything we need.
And they're getting almost everything they want.
Yeah, but, I think we can live with it,
because we held firm on the precedents.
We didn't let them go to 8.3.
8.29999, Mike.
Yeah, but it's not 8.3,
and I think we can hang our hats on that.
Is there a statement ready?
Right here.
"So that's why, for the sake of this city,
"for the save of this union, we've...
"put aside our differences
and reached a fair and satisfactory agre..."
Ment. Good.
Uh, sir, if it's, uh, all right with you,
I'm gonna bow out on this one.
Are you sure? This is the good part, Mike.
Mr. Mayor, you better get in here.
The press is gonna tear me apart.
Ah, they're excited, huh?
Excited? Oh, they're ebullient!
They're zealous, they're impassioned!
They're ardent!
Can't believe you're passing this up.
Oh, yeah, listen, Stu,
why don't you go in there instead of me, all right?
In case the mayor needs any help.
You trust me?
Yeah, you're the right guy.
You want a hug or something?
Really don't.
Ashley?
Ash.
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
Hey, honey. It's me.
Pick up if you're there.
Listen, I thought I saw something
in the way you looked at me today, and I...
Well, listen, I'm just going to come home.
Anyway, I'll be there in a few minutes,
and hopefully, you will, too.
Hello.
(GIGGLES)
Hey!
(GIGGLES)
Oh...
(MESSAGE KEEPS PLAYING)
So...
Do you want to sit here where we're going to have the couch
or over here where the love seat's gonna go?
Uh...
The love seat. I'm no fool.
So were you busy solving the strike,
or did you miss me?
You have no idea how much I miss you.
(LAUGHS) Aw!
(MACHINE BEEPS)
STUART: Mike, come down if you can.
The deal is sealed. We're celebrating.
You should be here! You deserve it!
I love you, man!
He's right.
You should go. You deserve it.
What about you? This is a huge story.
You've been chasing it all week.
You should go down there, too.
So...
How was your day?
(GARBAGE TRUCK RACKET)
Mmm, what time is it?
6:15.
Wow, they're really loud.
Yeah.
Beautiful, isn't it?
(TRUCK RUMBLES, VOICES)
(CRASHING TRASH CANS)