1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:05,020
- 2:00 AM, I can't believe
we worked this late all week.

2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,220
- I can't believe we
haven't had sex in 10 days.

3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,980
It's like, don't even
know who I am anymore.

4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,140
(audience laughing)

5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,540
- Well, what do you say, we
end that streak right now?

6
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,700
- I'm ready if you are.

7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,500
- Oh, I'm ready. (yawns)

8
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,220
(audience laughing)

9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,780
- This is gonna be wild.

10
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:22,660
(audience laughing)

11
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,820
Morty, I got moves you
haven't even seen yet.

12
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:26,980
(audience laughing)

13
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,260
- Bring 'em on,

14
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,620
'cause I am getting hot.

15
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:30,500
(audience laughing)

16
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,960
- I'm gonna rock your world.

17
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,480
(audience laughing)

18
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,220
- Thank God.

19
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,340
(audience laughing)

20
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,000
(upbeat music)

21
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,220
(upbeat energetic music)

22
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,540
- I can't take this anymore.

23
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:08,820
- Me neither.

24
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:09,740
That's the third night in a row,

25
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,220
we were planning to sleep together.

26
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:13,860
All we did was sleep together.

27
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,700
(audience laughing)

28
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,060
Tonight, we've got the sleep together.

29
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,220
(audience laughing)

30
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,060
- Keep down.

31
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,940
You've been doing such a good
job keeping this a secret.

32
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,060
We don't wanna blow it.

33
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,500
- Don't you think people can tell?

34
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,100
- Oh no, to pick up what's
going on between us?

35
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,920
You'd have to be some
kind of sexual savant.

36
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,200
(audience laughing)

37
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,180
- Something's different here.

38
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,140
(audience laughing)

39
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,420
There's a strange energy in the air.

40
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,740
- You're imagining things.

41
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,380
- No, I'm picking up a vibe.

42
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,100
(audience laughing)

43
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,420
There's new daunting in the office.

44
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,820
(audience laughing)

45
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,100
- Stuart, that's crazy.

46
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,980
- I sense this couple is
frustrated, but there's more,

47
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,220
(audience laughing)

48
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,660
he doesn't like it when
she nibbles on his ears.

49
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,380
(audience laughing)

50
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,920
And she thinks he's a sloppy kisser.

51
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,500
(audience laughing)

52
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,220
And the guy was a virgin until he was 30.

53
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,060
(audience laughing)

54
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:14,980
- Hey guys.

55
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,460
(audience laughing)
(audience clapping)

56
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,900
- Ugh, dammit, Paul,
you crossed my signals.

57
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,000
(audience laughing)

58
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,180
- I told you, everyone can
tell we're into each other.

59
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,540
- That's because we are into each other,

60
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,180
which makes it all the more frustrating

61
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,940
when we're buried under this work.

62
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,500
- We're in a new relationship.

63
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,420
We should be taking walks in the park,

64
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,300
buying each other ice cream,

65
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,540
catching salamanders down at the Creek.

66
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,860
(audience laughing)

67
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,780
I haven't had a serious
girlfriend since I was nine.

68
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,980
(audience laughing)

69
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:49,900
- The only way to get out of here

70
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,460
is if we put this budget
proposal to bed once and for all.

71
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,900
- Can you not say bed?

72
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,820
(audience laughing)

73
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,300
It makes me think of us in a bed.

74
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,020
And it's very distracting.

75
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,620
- Fine, turn to page two.

76
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,940
- You're killing me here.

77
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,180
(audience laughing)

78
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,420
- What did I say?

79
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,620
- Two, which is half of four, foreplay.

80
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,060
(audience laughing)

81
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,500
- Charlie, you are really reaching.

82
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,900
Not everything has sexual undertones.

83
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,380
- Wow, Governor Riley
is really screwing us

84
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,260
on this proposal.

85
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,360
(audience laughing)

86
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,220
You know if we're gonna get this done,

87
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:26,780
I'm gonna need you to
stay on top of each other.

88
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,380
(audience laughing)

89
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,220
- Got it sir.

90
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,660
- We've got to arouse his interest,

91
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,580
introduce him to some
exciting new positions

92
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,500
(audience laughing)

93
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,380
and make sure that he leaves satisfied.

94
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,480
(audience laughing)

95
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,740
- God, this was so frustrating.

96
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,040
If we weren't trying to keep
our relationship a secret,

97
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,420
at least we could hug.

98
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,380
- Yeah, hugging.

99
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,780
(audience laughing)

100
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:54,660
That would help.

101
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:55,580
(audience laughing)

102
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,240
(upbeat music)

103
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,240
- Well, ladies and gentlemen,

104
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,420
the long wait and all the
training have finally paid off.

105
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,660
I'm getting a foster baby.

106
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:05,500
- Hey!

107
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,580
- Aww, I'm so happy for you.

108
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,340
- The little guy will be here any minute.

109
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,060
And to celebrate, I went out
and got him a Tiffany rattle.

110
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,020
(audience laughing)

111
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,020
- Aren't you nervous?

112
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:16,860
- Absolutely not.

113
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,740
I've read every book, taken every class,

114
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:19,620
watched every movie.

115
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,100
Believe me, I will not
make the same mistakes

116
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,660
that Selleck Danson and Guttenberg made.

117
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,140
(audience laughing)

118
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,260
- Mr Haywood,

119
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,360
I'd like to introduce you to Sam.

120
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,500
- Oh, my God, oh, my
God, he's so beautiful.

121
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,340
- Will you be enrolling him

122
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,180
in the City Hall's daycare program?

123
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,020
- Not yet.

124
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,180
According to chapter four
of Cornex, My infant Myself,

125
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,660
"The first two weeks are
crucial to the bonding process."

126
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,140
Sam's gonna stay with me
in my office for a while.

127
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,460
- Oh, won't he be a distraction to you?

128
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,860
- No, no, I've even set up
a baby monitor so I can tell

129
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,460
what's going on in my office.

130
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,820
- We feel very good about
our placement, Mr Haywood.

131
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,020
Bye Sam.

132
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,260
- Oh, he's so beautiful.

133
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,860
- Everyone with the governor coming

134
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,260
I want this office running
like a well-oiled machine.

135
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,820
People need to be focused, professional--

136
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,100
Oh, baby.

137
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,180
(audience laughing)

138
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,060
Ooh, hello baby.

139
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,480
(gibberish)

140
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,780
Charlie, come on.

141
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,640
(baby gibberish)

142
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,620
- How's it going?

143
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,540
(audience laughing)

144
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,860
(upbeat music)

145
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,100
(audience laughing)

146
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,040
- The end of this hallway, is freedom.

147
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,260
- To the count of three
we'll make our move.

148
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,840
One, two, three.

149
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,500
- Hey guys.

150
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,580
(audience laughing)

151
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,620
Governor Riley is waiting in my office.

152
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,100
He'd like to discuss a proposal.

153
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,020
Now he can be very demanding.

154
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,180
So the way you handle him,

155
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,080
is you look him straight in
the eye and you tell him no.

156
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,460
(audience laughing)

157
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,620
Governor,

158
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,820
- Charlie, Kaitlin great
to see you both again.

159
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,220
I've been looking through your report,

160
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,740
everything looks great.

161
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,380
- We're glad we could help you out.

162
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,180
- Take care.

163
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,660
(audience laughing)

164
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,660
- But I do have one thought.

165
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,500
(audience laughing)

166
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,180
I know this entails a lot of work,

167
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,700
but could you give me an analysis

168
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,980
of the port authority
restructuring by tomorrow morning?

169
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,460
- Let me handle this one.

170
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,860
(audience laughing)

171
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:21,700
Yes, we can.

172
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:22,780
(audience laughing)

173
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,880
- Wonderful.

174
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,660
- Sorry about that.

175
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,380
(audience laughing)

176
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,620
Randal, wanna go grab some stakes later?

177
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,460
- How about now?

178
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,140
(audience laughing)

179
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,800
(upbeat music)

180
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,220
- Don't be concerned.

181
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:47,320
You're only upset because
you're tired and or gassy.

182
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,340
This is a common occurrence

183
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:55,340
and you should outgrow it by
the time you're, oh, geez.

184
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,940
(audience laughing)

185
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,340
- Carter, it's Paul.

186
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,780
I came to see Sam.

187
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,660
(Sam crying)

188
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:04,820
- Come on in.

189
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,460
Sam and I are, just chilling.

190
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,260
(audience laughing)

191
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,940
(Sam crying)

192
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:10,740
This place is a disaster.

193
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,340
What's that all over your face?

194
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,180
- A cleansing mask.

195
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,860
(audience laughing)

196
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,220
So where is Stuart?

197
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,340
- He's at Michelle's.

198
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,220
He was having so much fun with the baby

199
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,980
he felt like he was ignoring her.

200
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,020
- Ah, you made baby pictures.

201
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:23,820
Let me see.

202
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,660
- No, wait!

203
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,540
Get ready for the yum-yum train.

204
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,020
(animated train sounds)

205
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:30,980
Isn't that exciting?

206
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,400
I'm feeding Sam for the first time.

207
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,720
Oh, (audience laughing),

208
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,340
isn't that cute?

209
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,220
That's cute.

210
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,580
Okay Sam, chuchuu.

211
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,180
(audience laughing)

212
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,240
(Carter chuckles) Careful there.
Careful there Sam.

213
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,060
Here we go.

214
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,420
And chuchu--

215
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,500
(audience laughing)

216
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,700
Okay, that one was on purpose.

217
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:51,540
(audience laughing)

218
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,640
Sam shouldn't be watching so much TV.

219
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,960
- Hey Carter let me hold him for a second.
(Sam crying)

220
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,740
I don't know if that's such a good idea.

221
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,100
He's at the stage where
he has stranger anxiety.

222
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,500
- C'mon Carter, let me
just told him for a sec.

223
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,000
(Sam crying)

224
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,620
- Oh, yeah.

225
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,720
(audience laughing)

226
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,560
(upbeat music)

227
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,540
(audience laughing)

228
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:24,540
- What are you doing?

229
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,860
(audience laughing)

230
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,460
- Stretching.

231
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:28,900
- I thought we agreed that you'd warn me

232
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,060
so I could avert my eyes.

233
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,180
(audience laughing)

234
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,380
- Just suck it up.

235
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,100
- Oh yeah?

236
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,140
How'd you like it if I did this?

237
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,240
(audience laughing)

238
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,540
- Can you please focus?

239
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,860
- We're wasting valuable time.

240
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,300
In relationships, 90% of all
sex happens in the first month.

241
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,820
(audience laughing)

242
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:52,860
- What are you talking about?

243
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,960
- Let me show you.

244
00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,380
(audience laughing)

245
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,060
I've studied this extensively.

246
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,900
And I have discovered that
sexual encounters per week,

247
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,020
tend towards zero over time.

248
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,860
(audience laughing)

249
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,420
We're missing all of this.

250
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,700
(audience laughing)

251
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,820
- Charlie, you need to relax.

252
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,660
- I think the only thing that
would help us relax right now,

253
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,500
- No.

254
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,980
(audience laughing)

255
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,580
- I didn't even finish my idea.

256
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,500
- I'm guessing it involves
us naked on this couch.

257
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,500
- Just the last part.

258
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,780
(audience laughing)

259
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:35,180
- Charlie, we are not gonna
do it in the mayor's office.

260
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,340
It's inappropriate.

261
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,620
It's against the rules.

262
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,180
It's forbidden.

263
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,340
It's naughty.

264
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,820
(audience laughing)

265
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:42,660
It's hot.

266
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,620
(audience laughing)

267
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,720
- So your answer is no?

268
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,180
(audience laughing)

269
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,980
- Shut up and give me one
of those sloppy kisses.

270
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,620
(audience laughing)

271
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,320
(upbeat music)

272
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,140
Last night was so great.

273
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:01,980
- Yes, it was.

274
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,100
- I had never done anything like that.

275
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,060
What do you say the two of
us joined the Mile Hike Club,

276
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,060
get on a plane, sneak in
the bathroom and make out?

277
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,160
- Kaitlin,

278
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,020
- Oh, that's even better.

279
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,940
(audience laughing)

280
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,020
This is so exciting.

281
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,340
None of these people have any idea

282
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,900
we did it in the mayor's office.

283
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:21,700
- Whoa!

284
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:22,740
(audience laughing)

285
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,340
I'm feeling envy and I don't know why.

286
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,060
(audience laughing)

287
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,260
What's going on with you two?

288
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,420
- I don't know what you're talking about.

289
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,740
- There will not be
anything elicit going on

290
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,460
around here without me knowing about it.

291
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,420
Not on my watch.

292
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,500
(audience laughing)

293
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,600
I'm watching you.

294
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,300
(audience laughing)

295
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,940
- It's so liberating being wild.

296
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,100
I feel like riding a
motorcycle, skydiving,

297
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,140
running with the bulls.

298
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:52,980
(audience laughing)

299
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,080
Give me that briefcase.

300
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,100
(audience laughing)

301
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,100
- What are you doing?

302
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,540
- I'm acting impulsive.

303
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,300
It's the new me, get used to it.

304
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,400
(audience laughing)

305
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,460
- Something horrible happened
in my office last night.

306
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,460
(audience laughing)

307
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,780
The governor left a very
valuable pair of sunglasses

308
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,580
on my desk and now they're missing.

309
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,900
- That's terrible.

310
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,500
- They belong to Jackie Onassis.

311
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,100
He bought them at an auction for his wife.

312
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,680
They were worth over a
hundred thousand dollars.

313
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,100
I know that doesn't sound
like a lot of money,

314
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,180
but they had sentimental value.

315
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,980
(audience laughing)

316
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,180
- Do you have any leads?

317
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:38,620
- All I know, is that the thief
took off the sofa cushions,

318
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,740
turn them around so that
the zippers were facing out.

319
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,900
(audience laughing)

320
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,380
This guy's a real pro.

321
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,540
(audience laughing)

322
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,220
- Sir, we're gonna find out who did this.

323
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,780
We will question everyone.

324
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:53,620
- Oh, no need.

325
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,940
All we have to do is look at the videotape

326
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,060
of the office surveillance camera.

327
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,420
(audience laughing)

328
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:00,660
- Surveillance camera?

329
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,740
- I just had one put in.

330
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,060
It records everything
that goes on in there.

331
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,820
(audience laughing)

332
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,780
- Well, look on the bright side,

333
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,900
you're always complaining you
don't have any pictures of us.

334
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,380
(audience laughing)

335
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,040
(upbeat music)

336
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,300
- I Can't believe the mayor
has a camera in his office.

337
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,620
This is all your fault.

338
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,340
- How is it my fault?

339
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,900
- I would have never
done anything like this

340
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:25,740
before I met you.

341
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,220
You made me this way.

342
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,380
You're like a perverted Henry Higgins.

343
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,940
(audience laughing)

344
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,300
- The guy from Magnum PI?

345
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,180
(audience laughing)

346
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,300
- My Fair Lady, you cave man.

347
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,700
I used to care about those things

348
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,100
before you drag me into your world of sin.

349
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,020
- 15 minutes ago, you were
talking about the thrill

350
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,380
of living on the wild side.

351
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,860
- That's before I was
starring in my own Nudie film.

352
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,960
(audience laughing)

353
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,020
- Kaitlin, come down this
is embarrassing for me too.

354
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:54,860
- Oh, right.

355
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,420
You're a guy, you're gonna
be getting high fives.

356
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,140
I'm gonna lose all
credibility around here.

357
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,300
Look at them, they've
obviously seen the tape.

358
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,820
(audience laughing)

359
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:03,620
- Get a hold of yourself.

360
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,260
This isn't the end of the world.

361
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,260
- Yes, it is.

362
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,900
I just had the wildest sex in my life

363
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,580
and it's caught on a security
tape for everyone to see.

364
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,540
(audience laughing)

365
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,740
No one is gonna see it.

366
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,740
I'll go down to security
and get the tape myself.

367
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,540
- Well, you better hurry up

368
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,640
before anyone else gets their hands on it.

369
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,980
(audience laughing)

370
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,680
(upbeat music)

371
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:25,940
Did you get the tape?

372
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,500
- No, someone already took it.

373
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,900
- Who the hell would have taken it?

374
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:29,980
(Stuart coughs)

375
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,260
(audience laughing)

376
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,420
- Stuart, I'm gonna need that tape.

377
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,740
- Before I give it to you, let
me ask you a few questions.

378
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:40,580
- Go ahead.

379
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,800
- If I wanted to rent this
tape at a video store,

380
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,980
would I have to walk through
a beaded curtain to get it?

381
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,140
(audience laughing)

382
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,980
- You have no idea what's on there.

383
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,460
- Well, there's a VCR right here

384
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,780
why don't we all watch it together?

385
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,620
(audience laughing)

386
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,460
- You wouldn't.

387
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:56,300
- Wouldn't I?

388
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,140
(audience laughing)

389
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:57,960
- Well, maybe I'll tell everyone

390
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,260
how I caught you at last
year's Christmas party

391
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,980
alone with easy Debbie
from highway maintenance.

392
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,900
(audience laughing)

393
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,420
Talking about feelings.

394
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,020
(audience laughing)

395
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,180
- You're a sick bastard.

396
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,820
(audience laughing)

397
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,060
- Yes, we got the tape!

398
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,460
- Oh, the security tape.

399
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,420
(audience laughing)

400
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,220
I was wondering who had this?

401
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,340
We'll watch it at the end of the day.

402
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,940
Then we'll see who did it.

403
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,100
(audience laughing)

404
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,460
- And how many times.

405
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,180
(audience laughing)

406
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,880
(upbeat music)

407
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,420
Dr. Greenfield, hello? (chuckles)

408
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,420
Your book is worthless.

409
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,380
(audience laughing)

410
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,340
My kid won't stop crying.

411
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,340
You said show him colors,
I bought him a Mobil.

412
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,100
You said give him warm
milk, I fixed him a bottle.

413
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,540
You said, hold him like a
football, I watched Moulin Rouge.

414
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,620
(audience laughing)

415
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,940
Yeah, well, you (mumbles) and
I was jonesing for a musical.

416
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,040
(audience laughing)

417
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,940
- I usually don't like to get involved

418
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,460
in other people's personal lives.

419
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,620
It's presumptuous, it's awkward.

420
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,500
But mostly I just don't care.

421
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,900
(audience laughing)

422
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,460
But as a parent,

423
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,580
I think I can offer you
a little advice here.

424
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,280
- Sir, I just feel so overwhelmed

425
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,940
or maybe I'm not cut out for this.

426
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:22,980
- Of course, you are.

427
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,380
- Come on sir, the baby responds
more to Paul than to me.

428
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,780
- 'Cause he senses your tension.

429
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,060
You've got all these thoughts

430
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,900
and these ideas racing around your mind.

431
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,500
Paul, he's not burdened with any of that.

432
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,580
(audience laughing)

433
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,020
What you have to do is
get rid of those books

434
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,860
and trust your instincts.

435
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,580
- Maybe you're right.

436
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:46,680
- You given Sam a home, security,
a bold sense of fashion.

437
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,740
(audience laughing)

438
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,040
Now go over there and
hold your baby, c'mon.

439
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,940
- When he's so peaceful like this,

440
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,820
almost makes you forget
the last couple of days.

441
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,760
- Moments like this, make it all worth it.

442
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:16,980
- Thank you, sir.

443
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,220
- Glad to help.

444
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,540
Now I'm back to not caring

445
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,900
(audience laughing)

446
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,560
(upbeat music)

447
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,260
- Sir, who's watching that video?

448
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,360
- Just you, me, Charlie.

449
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,700
(audience laughing)

450
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,800
And apparently Stuart.

451
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,500
You don't need to be here Stuart.

452
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,900
- Someone stole a pair
of Jackie O sunglasses

453
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,300
and I will not rest until
I find out who it was.

454
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,620
(audience laughing)

455
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,460
- God bless you Stuart.

456
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,740
You're a real team player.

457
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,340
(audience laughing)

458
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,180
- What do we do?

459
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,980
- There's a good chance
the glasses were stolen

460
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,380
before we were in the office.

461
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,260
Just be cool.

462
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,360
- Great, show time.

463
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,360
(audience laughing)

464
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,580
No, nothing out of the ordinary yet.

465
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,540
(audience laughing)

466
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,640
Well, let's just skip ahead.

467
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,700
Hey, it's you guys.

468
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,220
- Oh my God, it couldn't get any worse.

469
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,760
- Hey what are you guys watching?
- The surveillance video.

470
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:20,580
- [Mayor] Have a seat.

471
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,500
- Don't mind if we do.

472
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,600
(audience laughing)

473
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,260
- Sir, I can't take it anymore.

474
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,740
Charlie and I had sex in your office.

475
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,660
(audience laughing)

476
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,940
Kaitlin stop.

477
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,780
- No, no, I am tired of sneaking around.

478
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,060
(audience laughing)

479
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:40,980
We're a couple.

480
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,220
This man brings out my wild side

481
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,660
and I don't care who knows about it.

482
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,460
(audience laughing)

483
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,060
What you are looking at
is a natural expression

484
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,160
of our feelings for each other.

485
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,260
- Kaitlin, we weren't on camera.

486
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,360
(audience laughing)

487
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,620
- So how about the mayor's dancing,

488
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,300
how embarrassing was that? (chuckles)

489
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,540
(audience laughing)

490
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,240
(upbeat music)

491
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,660
It was awful.

492
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,820
Tell me that wasn't the
most humiliating experience

493
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,100
of your life?

494
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,500
- It doesn't even crack my top 10.

495
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,860
(audience laughing)

496
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,900
- Hey guys.

497
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,220
I just wanted you to know that I'm not mad

498
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,060
about what happened.

499
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,940
In fact, I think it's wonderful.

500
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,140
The two people I care so
much about are together.

501
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:28,980
- Thank you, sir.

502
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,140
- We appreciate it.

503
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,340
- Just try not to be together
on my furniture anymore.

504
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,820
(audience laughing)

505
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:35,740
- Yes, sir.

506
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,420
- You know a lot is happening around here.

507
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,220
I mean you two are a
couple, Carter has a baby.

508
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,140
You know, things are moving so fast.

509
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,340
Of course, I'm still alone
and my kid never calls,

510
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,740
but I'm really happy for you.

511
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,580
(audience laughing)

512
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,820
- Sir, the governor's on the phone.

513
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,540
He's asking you about
the sunglasses again.

514
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,540
- Ugh, I'm sick of him badgering me.

515
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,420
If I was half a man, I'd keep him on hold.

516
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,780
Show him who's in charge.

517
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,620
- Are you going to?

518
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,460
- God no, get out of my way.

519
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,420
(audience laughing)

520
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,660
- So, you feeling better?

521
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,500
- A little.

522
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,860
It wasn't exactly the way
I envisioned telling people

523
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,780
about our relationship.

524
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,220
When are things gonna
get normal between us?

525
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,060
- I don't know.

526
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,460
I guess what we did was, pretty crazy.

527
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,640
- It was irresponsible and stupid.

528
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,760
It's also, kind of fun.

529
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,900
- Really?

530
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,340
- Yeah.

531
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,940
I like to do more stupid things.

532
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,380
- Oh, you're with the right guy.

533
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,700
(audience laughing)

534
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,380
- Oh, it's 10 o'clock.

535
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,940
I think we can get out of here.

536
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,100
- Wait, it's 10 o'clock, do
you know what that means?

537
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:41,900
- What?

538
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,380
- It's our anniversary.

539
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,100
Two weeks ago at this exact moment,

540
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,620
you looked at me and said, "What
do you think you're doing??

541
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,420
(audience laughing)

542
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,520
- Do you have an answer yet?

543
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,500
- Best two weeks of my life.

544
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,220
- Aww, Charlie, I know.

545
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,320
(audience laughing)

546
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,420
- Hey, since you guys are a new couple,

547
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,660
I thought I'd get you a little gift.

548
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,900
(audience laughing)

549
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,140
- See you tomorrow Stuart.

550
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,160
(upbeat pop music)

551
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,780
- Get some sleep, Carter.

552
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,880
- Goodnight.

553
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,260
- Goodnight guys.

554
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,620
(audience laughing)

555
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,780
Goodnight Sam.

556
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,260
(audience laughing)

557
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,280
(upbeat pop music)

558
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,220
♪ When you're on a holiday ♪

559
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,500
♪ You can't find the words to say ♪

560
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,580
♪ All the things that come to you ♪

561
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:47,020
♪ And I wanna feel it too ♪

562
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,980
♪ On an island in the sun ♪

563
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,220
♪ We'll be playing and having fun ♪

564
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,940
♪ And it makes me feel so fine ♪

565
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,040
(audience laughing)

566
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,020
- [Announcer] Sit Bubu, sit.

567
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,060
Good dog.
(dog barks)

568
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,600
(upbeat classical music)