1
00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:05,103
[ Trilling shout]

2
00:00:07,068 --> 00:00:08,482
Yep. This is where I live.

3
00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,620
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!

4
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:11,482
Hey.

5
00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:12,827
Sabrina. You're home.

6
00:00:12,862 --> 00:00:15,379
Just in time for our
cinco De mayocelebration.

7
00:00:15,413 --> 00:00:17,965
Cinco De Mayo? It
was just El new year's.

8
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,206
We know, but while
the rest of new england

9
00:00:20,241 --> 00:00:21,793
is complaining about the weather

10
00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:23,034
we are turning up the heat

11
00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:26,241
with a little "south
of the border" fiesta.

12
00:00:26,275 --> 00:00:27,448
Crispy flauta?

13
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,034
No. Gracias.

14
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,206
You guys are weird.

15
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:32,206
Well, excuse us for having fun.

16
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,034
We were going to
ask you to join us...

17
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,000
But if you're uptight...

18
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:37,034
Don't say that.
There's nothing worse

19
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,827
than when your
parents call you "uptight."

20
00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,517
Come on, loosen up.

21
00:00:41,551 --> 00:00:42,551
You know you want to wear

22
00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,310
a sombrero.

23
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,689
Now try an "ole."

24
00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:50,310
Ole.

25
00:00:50,344 --> 00:00:51,758
Hey, that was sort of fun.

26
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:53,413
All right, I'm in.

27
00:00:53,448 --> 00:00:54,620
Where's the salsa?

28
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,724
Over here, but
it's kind of spicy.

29
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,586
I think I can handle it, cat.

30
00:01:00,172 --> 00:01:01,206
[ Screaming]

31
00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:03,758
Hot, hot, hot, hot!

32
00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:05,517
Feels warmer in here already.

33
00:01:23,689 --> 00:01:27,000
We'll be back in... mintues

34
00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:34,137
so, "r" = 7 + 11
over 2, or... 9.

35
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,482
[ Teacher sneezes]

36
00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:40,448
And "r" = 7 - 11 over 2, or -2.

37
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:41,620
[ Sneezes]

38
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:42,517
That's it.

39
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,482
I've reached my
chalk limit for the day.

40
00:01:46,931 --> 00:01:47,827
What is it, Sabrina?

41
00:01:47,862 --> 00:01:48,758
I have a question.

42
00:01:48,793 --> 00:01:49,655
I know that.

43
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:51,655
That's why I said
"what is it, Sabrina?"

44
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,448
Well, in that problem, the roots

45
00:01:53,482 --> 00:01:54,493
turn out to be round numbers.

46
00:01:54,517 --> 00:01:56,655
But what if the roots
turn out to be irrational?

47
00:01:56,689 --> 00:01:59,724
Irrational? You mean,
like teenage girls?

48
00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:00,620
Just express

49
00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,724
those roots in radical form.

50
00:02:02,758 --> 00:02:04,379
You mean, as a fraction?

51
00:02:04,413 --> 00:02:05,793
Didn't you read the textbook?

52
00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:07,079
Yeah, but it's
kind of confusing.

53
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:09,758
Well, let's find out who's
confused and who isn't

54
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,620
by having a little
test tomorrow.

55
00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,413
[ All groaning]

56
00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:15,586
And you can all
thank Sabrina for it.

57
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,793
I was just trying to learn.

58
00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:22,275
Hello.

59
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,103
Is Salem there?

60
00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:23,862
Speaking.

61
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:24,862
It's shelley.

62
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,000
Shelley?!

63
00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:27,655
Zelda, you'll never
guess who called.

64
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,413
I'll give you a hint: Shelley.

65
00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,586
Shelley? Your ex-girlfriend?

66
00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:32,551
The one who left you?

67
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,655
She didn't leave me.

68
00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:34,827
She just needed some time

69
00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:35,862
by herself.

70
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:37,034
Two decades?

71
00:02:37,068 --> 00:02:39,172
Three, but... I repeat, but...

72
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,103
From the sound of her voice

73
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:42,517
I'd say she has crawling
back on her mind.

74
00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:46,620
I see. Did you happen to
mention that you're a cat now?

75
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:48,034
Is it that noticeable?

76
00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,586
Oh, not again.

77
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:53,275
Hilda! Stop that!

78
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,931
It wasn't me.

79
00:02:57,724 --> 00:02:58,655
Sabrina?

80
00:02:58,689 --> 00:02:59,758
What's wrong?

81
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,965
Mr. Rothwell is giving us
a huge math test tomorrow.

82
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,275
So now I have to go memorize
formulas, like "x" = why me?

83
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:08,586
You watch that
finger, young lady.

84
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:15,000
-B + or - the square root of
"b" squared - 4ac over 2A.

85
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:19,241
♪ Shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song, funky song ♪

86
00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,241
♪ shake your wham...

87
00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,655
Harvey!

88
00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:22,896
What?

89
00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:24,803
You're singing the "funky
song". Now, it's going to be stuck

90
00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:26,079
in my head during
the whole test.

91
00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:28,448
Sorry. I didn't even
know I was doing it.

92
00:03:28,482 --> 00:03:30,517
Well, I'm really nervous,
so please don't sing.

93
00:03:30,551 --> 00:03:32,034
Okay.

94
00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:34,000
-B + or -

95
00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,965
the square root of "b"...

96
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,551
I hearyou thinking it.

97
00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:38,586
I can't thinkit?

98
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,310
Not while I'm studying.

99
00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:41,689
Can I at least
finish this verse?

100
00:03:41,724 --> 00:03:43,034
Yeah, but hurry.

101
00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:47,689
[ No audio]

102
00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:49,724
Okay. Done. Good.

103
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:50,482
[ Sighs]

104
00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:53,103
-B + or - the square root of...

105
00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:54,344
I hate rothwell.

106
00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:56,724
Look, Sabrina,
you know this stuff.

107
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:57,793
You know you know it.

108
00:03:57,827 --> 00:03:59,241
You just have to relax.

109
00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:00,551
I can't. Do you see this?

110
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:02,965
This is me freaking out.

111
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,103
Okay, now please,
can I just study?

112
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:07,448
I promise I won't make a noise.

113
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,896
You can turn the page.

114
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:19,793
Gordie, hurry.

115
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,206
Wait. How do I find
the slope of a line?

116
00:04:22,241 --> 00:04:24,379
Oh, that's easy. You just...

117
00:04:24,413 --> 00:04:25,482
I lost it.

118
00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:26,379
The slope slipped!

119
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:28,034
If only we had more time.

120
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:33,896
Much better.

121
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:41,034
M = ...Dah, da-da,
da-da, da-da...

122
00:04:41,068 --> 00:04:42,068
I knew that.

123
00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:48,344
♪ Shake your whammy Fanny

124
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,034
okay, it's "m" =
"y" sub 2 - "y" sub 1

125
00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:55,965
over "x" sub 2 - "x" sub 1.

126
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,931
You saved my life.

127
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:58,241
Thank me later. Right now, move!

128
00:04:58,275 --> 00:04:59,586
Move, move, move!

129
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:04,586
Five... four... Three... two...

130
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:05,724
"F"!

131
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:06,793
Poor Emma.

132
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:07,838
I think she stopped to help

133
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,586
that girl in the wheelchair.

134
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,620
[ Speaking in falsetto]:
Too late. Bye-bye.

135
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:13,482
All right

136
00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:15,034
let's get started.

137
00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:17,241
The test consists
of fifteen questions

138
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,586
for a possible 100 points.

139
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,034
The first five are
worth nine points

140
00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:22,206
next five eight points.

141
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:24,379
The last five are
three-pointers.

142
00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:25,413
You may begin.

143
00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:32,724
What was that?

144
00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:34,241
I dropped my pencil.

145
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:35,769
Oh, please. I know
what's going on here.

146
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,769
You're leaning over to
look at your neighbor's test.

147
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:38,655
No, I...

148
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:40,448
That's it, come sit at my desk.

149
00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,310
You'll take the test there.

150
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:44,793
Then I won't have to
worry about you cheating.

151
00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:46,965
But I've never cheated
on a test in my life.

152
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,689
Then there should be no problem.

153
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:55,689
Ok get to work...
- B + or -...

154
00:05:55,724 --> 00:05:57,758
[ Harvey's voice]: ♪
funky song, funky song... ♪

155
00:05:57,793 --> 00:06:01,172
Harvey! Why did I
study with Harvey?

156
00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:03,137
Because he's cute.

157
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:04,931
I wonder if we'll get married.

158
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,034
No, no, pay attention.

159
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:09,241
-B + or -...

160
00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:11,724
I hate rothwell,
I hate rothwell.

161
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,103
Oh, no.

162
00:06:14,137 --> 00:06:15,655
Can he hear me think?

163
00:06:15,689 --> 00:06:17,413
I've got to relax.

164
00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:19,586
Can't tense up.

165
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,379
[ Loud scratching]

166
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:26,137
Why is everyone writing so loud?

167
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,034
Why did Napoleon
want to rule by himself?

168
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:30,379
No, math. Stick to math.

169
00:06:34,172 --> 00:06:35,344
You know this stuff.

170
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,068
You can do this.

171
00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:38,448
-B...

172
00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:40,551
What?

173
00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:41,551
Pencils down.

174
00:06:41,586 --> 00:06:42,724
Time's up.

175
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,448
"Then add one macadamia nut

176
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:49,000
and he will have
an expanding butt."

177
00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,517
Hilda: What's going on?!

178
00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:53,413
I heard an explosion.

179
00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,689
Oh. You're just making soup.

180
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:58,413
No, I'm stirring up a little
revenge for Mr. Rothwell.

181
00:06:58,448 --> 00:06:59,586
What happened?

182
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,758
It was so humiliating.

183
00:07:00,793 --> 00:07:02,838
He made me take the test
in front of the whole class.

184
00:07:02,862 --> 00:07:04,620
Like some sort of zoo monkey?

185
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:06,896
Yeah. Koko hate teacher man.

186
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,206
Anyway, I know I flunked

187
00:07:08,241 --> 00:07:10,034
so I'm giving him
an expanding butt

188
00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:12,241
until I can find the
perfect revenge spell.

189
00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:14,758
Well, you know,
nothing says "payback"

190
00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:17,206
like "just desserts."

191
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:19,827
"It's the spell that guarantees
he'll get what's coming to him."

192
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:22,000
But it's only to be
used as a last resort.

193
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:24,551
You might want to try to deal
with him the mortal way first.

194
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:25,758
You mean, t.P. His house?

195
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,862
No, talk to him.

196
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,000
I don't want to.

197
00:07:29,034 --> 00:07:30,965
You talk to him.

198
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,206
Mr. Rothwell?

199
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,103
Yes.

200
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,413
Hi. I'm hilda spellman,
Sabrina's aunt.

201
00:07:36,448 --> 00:07:37,344
I wanted to talk to you

202
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,862
about the test
that she took today.

203
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:41,206
Excellent timing. I just
finished correcting them.

204
00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,034
I'll find hers.

205
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,689
Oh thanks, see she's upset.

206
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,103
Because she thinks she failed.

207
00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:47,424
I know she didn't because she's
very bright and she studied so hard.

208
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:48,551
She got an "f."

209
00:07:48,586 --> 00:07:50,931
That's impossible.

210
00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,251
Are you sure you
added it up right?

211
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:53,793
Ms. Spellman, I'm a math teacher

212
00:07:53,827 --> 00:07:56,655
but feel free to double check.

213
00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:58,206
There were 15 questions

214
00:07:58,241 --> 00:07:59,793
the first five were
worth 40 points

215
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,689
the next five were worth 45.

216
00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,827
The last five were worth 15.

217
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:05,206
Sabrina got two of the biggies

218
00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:07,551
three of the middies and one
of the babies, for grand total

219
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,310
of 45 points of what
percent of a hundred?

220
00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:11,241
Oh, I, uh... 15 questions

221
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:13,034
100 points... Carry the two...

222
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,241
I have no idea!

223
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,172
Forty-five percent!

224
00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:16,758
Geez, no wonder she failed.

225
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:20,482
But I didn't have a chance
to study for this meeting.

226
00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:23,482
More lizard's leg, and don't
skimp on the howlet's wing.

227
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:26,896
Let's put in this jar of cocktail
onions that's been in the fridge forever.

228
00:08:26,931 --> 00:08:27,758
Yeah!

229
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,000
What smells so sweet?

230
00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:30,448
Revenge.

231
00:08:30,482 --> 00:08:32,862
It's time to teach
Mr. Rothwell a lesson.

232
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:34,517
With a number two cauldron?

233
00:08:34,551 --> 00:08:35,793
It can't be that serious.

234
00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:37,551
It is. Keep stirring.

235
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:38,241
Wait. There's been

236
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:39,620
a breakdown in communication.

237
00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:41,448
I will go talk to him

238
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:43,413
as physicist to algebra teacher

239
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:46,275
and we will work
this out logically.

240
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:49,448
And no one seeks
vengeance until I get back.

241
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:53,286
Can we at least make
his butt a little bigger?

242
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:56,620
As big as you want it to be!

243
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,586
I wanted to discuss
this rationally

244
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,896
but you're making it hard.

245
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,103
Hey, she failed the test.

246
00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:03,458
What do you want
me to do about it?

247
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:05,482
But the circumstances
were unfair.

248
00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:07,931
Look, if it makes you feel
better, you can blame this on me

249
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,551
but I think we both know
these problems start at home.

250
00:09:10,586 --> 00:09:11,758
What problems?

251
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:14,103
Hey, if a kid can't master
the quadratic equation

252
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:17,482
that says to me
dysfunctional family.

253
00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:19,862
We function just fine.

254
00:09:19,896 --> 00:09:21,655
Tell it to a social worker.

255
00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:23,758
Now, if you'll excuse me

256
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,620
I haveto get to the gym.

257
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:31,620
This is so great.

258
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,241
Thank you so much
for backing me up.

259
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:36,034
Well, you were 100%
right about this guy.

260
00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:37,517
Please, no percentages.

261
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:39,068
Is it revenge yet?

262
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:41,034
Mm, it's really spiteful.

263
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:42,551
Let's finish the spell.

264
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,586
Hilda, you do the honors.

265
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:47,620
Adder's fork and
blind-worm's sting

266
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,586
lizard's leg and howlet's wing

267
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,206
for a charm of powerful trouble

268
00:09:53,241 --> 00:09:55,896
fire burn and cauldron bubble.

269
00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:57,206
Take it away, Sabrina.

270
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,896
Fair is foul and foul is fair

271
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,586
hover through
fog and filthy air.

272
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:05,724
Now what?

273
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:08,000
Wait and see.

274
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:09,862
[ Cackling]

275
00:10:11,137 --> 00:10:12,448
You cackled.

276
00:10:12,482 --> 00:10:14,413
This is going to be so cool.

277
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,034
Weird. Rothwell is never late.

278
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:22,103
Maybe he called in sick

279
00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:23,620
or maybe he had car trouble.

280
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:25,862
Or maybe the earth yawned
and swallowed him up.

281
00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:29,413
It could happen.

282
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:32,241
Oh, toothpicks.

283
00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,827
I am late for the
first time in my life

284
00:10:34,862 --> 00:10:37,655
because I've been the
victim of a great injustice.

285
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:38,551
Yes!

286
00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:39,896
I got a speeding ticket.

287
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,379
Speeding ticket?

288
00:10:42,413 --> 00:10:44,103
Three witches and a
number ten cauldron

289
00:10:44,137 --> 00:10:46,310
and the best we could do
was a stupid speeding ticket?

290
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:48,172
Maybe the lizard's
leg wasn't fresh.

291
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:49,448
I thought it smelled funny.

292
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,551
Great.

293
00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,424
Rothwell will just go to
court and weasel out of it.

294
00:10:52,448 --> 00:10:54,310
Court? The spell is working.

295
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,103
He'll find his just
desserts there.

296
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,586
Let's go early and
get good seats.

297
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,586
And don't worry.

298
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,137
Justice will be served.

299
00:11:00,172 --> 00:11:00,862
Oh, yeah?

300
00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:03,000
Then how come his butt deflated?

301
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:03,586
What do you think?

302
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:04,827
Red lamborghini.

303
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:07,137
This has to impress
my ex-girlfriend, shelley.

304
00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:08,586
Sure. Now all you have to do

305
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,482
is lose the paws,
whiskers and fur.

306
00:11:10,517 --> 00:11:11,724
Hey, so what if I'm a cat?

307
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,862
This car says I got it going on!

308
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:16,827
[ Laughs]

309
00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:17,482
Man: It's a travesty

310
00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:18,482
of justice, sir.

311
00:11:18,517 --> 00:11:19,827
I mean, I know red.

312
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:21,896
Red is the color of rage

313
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,689
and that light was not red.

314
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,655
It was yellow...

315
00:11:24,689 --> 00:11:26,896
Yellow as the sunshine.

316
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,827
Well, in light of
your flowery prose

317
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,034
and the fact that the
arresting officer didn't show

318
00:11:31,068 --> 00:11:33,172
I'll cut your fine in half.

319
00:11:33,206 --> 00:11:34,137
Half?!

320
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:37,137
Sir, half an injustice
is still an injustice.

321
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:38,103
Case closed.

322
00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:41,862
This court is in recess.

323
00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:42,931
Wait. Come back here.

324
00:11:42,965 --> 00:11:43,724
I want that judge.

325
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:44,793
He was easy.

326
00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:46,413
Mr. Rothwell?

327
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,344
Do I know you?

328
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,103
Well of course, you
wouldn't recognize me.

329
00:11:49,137 --> 00:11:51,275
Not without tears
streaming down my face

330
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,551
like a harsh, unforgiving rain.

331
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:55,965
I'm Clifford Weaver...
Your former algebra student.

332
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,206
Wait. You're a novelist now.

333
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:58,561
You wrote rage
against the system.

334
00:11:58,586 --> 00:11:59,137
I loved that book.

335
00:11:59,172 --> 00:12:00,827
It was full of hate.

336
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,793
There's Mr. Rothwell.

337
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,862
Ooh, I think that's for us.

338
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,482
Either that's part of the spell

339
00:12:11,517 --> 00:12:12,689
or the bailiff keeps steaks.

340
00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,482
I bet that's our judge.

341
00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:15,724
In the refrigerator?

342
00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:18,275
Yes. Witch judges take
turns in the deep freeze

343
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:19,724
to prevent media bias.

344
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:21,034
For example

345
00:12:21,068 --> 00:12:23,655
judge Samuels has
been in here since 1956.

346
00:12:23,689 --> 00:12:26,275
Wow. A man untouched by CNN.

347
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,965
Now, that's a
good night's sleep.

348
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,172
Hi, judge Samuels.

349
00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:33,931
Here's the deal.

350
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:34,931
We are...

351
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,689
Shh! Not a word.

352
00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:39,137
I must stay pure for the law.

353
00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:41,896
Just a cup of cocoa,
and I'm in business.

354
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:50,689
Guilty!

355
00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:51,586
Order!

356
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:54,241
One more outburst
like that, and I'll...

357
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,655
All right.

358
00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:57,344
I'm ready.

359
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:59,758
Court is in session.

360
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:02,413
Jeremy rothwell

361
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,448
you are charged

362
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,896
with violating vehicular
code section 16-4:

363
00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:07,379
Driving at an unsafe speed.

364
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:08,379
How do you plead?

365
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,275
Not guilty.

366
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,310
You're also charged

367
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:12,758
with violation of
the existential code

368
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,344
section 63-b:

369
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:15,379
Multiple counts

370
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,586
of being mean and unfair.

371
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,689
How do you plead?

372
00:13:17,724 --> 00:13:18,551
What is this?

373
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:20,689
I never heard of
an existential code.

374
00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,931
You have to read the fine print.

375
00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:25,172
How do you plead?

376
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:25,862
Not guilty.

377
00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:27,034
Ha!

378
00:13:27,068 --> 00:13:27,655
Plea entered.

379
00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:29,206
Strike the "ha."

380
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,034
Prosecution may
present its case.

381
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,275
Are the people present?

382
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,137
We're the people.

383
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:34,379
We are? Cool.

384
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:35,862
Sabrina, what are
you doing here?

385
00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:38,689
Didn't you hear?
We're the people.

386
00:13:38,724 --> 00:13:39,482
Proceed.

387
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,310
Thank you, your honor.

388
00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:42,655
The people would like to call

389
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,379
as their first witness...

390
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,275
Clifford Weaver.

391
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,413
[ People gasping]

392
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,482
[ Gargling]

393
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:59,034
Mmm. Minty fresh for milady.

394
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:03,862
I'd be more nervous if I
weren't so good-looking.

395
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,965
And yes, he failed me.

396
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,724
But, I mean, listen
to those words.

397
00:14:07,758 --> 00:14:10,034
He... failed... me.

398
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:13,344
Throw the book at him, judge.

399
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,551
Thank you, Clifford.

400
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:17,689
Your honor, I'd like to
cross-examine this witness.

401
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,931
Well then, proceed.

402
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:21,241
Clifford...

403
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:22,275
You wrote the book

404
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:23,689
rage against the
system, correct?

405
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:24,689
Correct.

406
00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:26,286
And isn't it true that
the New York times

407
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:27,965
picked you as the
best of the new breed

408
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,517
of angry young writers?

409
00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:31,241
I resent that moniker, but yes.

410
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:33,620
Well, what made
you angry, Clifford?

411
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,344
Was it your mother
holding your hand?

412
00:14:35,379 --> 00:14:37,448
Was it the librarian
patting your head?

413
00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:38,620
Or was it me?!

414
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,068
I gave you that anger.

415
00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:41,413
I spoon-fed you that rage.

416
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,527
I made you what you are today.

417
00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:44,310
You should thank me!

418
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:46,344
You never helped me.

419
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:47,172
That's a lie!

420
00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:48,448
No further questions.

421
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:52,103
I've never been
so angry in my life.

422
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,724
That's my second novel.

423
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:58,241
Quick, call another witness.

424
00:14:58,275 --> 00:14:59,793
The people call...

425
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,758
The arresting officer.

426
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:06,827
[ Gasping]

427
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,310
So, he was speeding?

428
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:09,310
Definitely.

429
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:10,379
And was he mean?

430
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:11,034
Mean?

431
00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:12,034
Mean, disagreeable

432
00:15:12,068 --> 00:15:13,724
unkind, knavish. Mean.

433
00:15:13,758 --> 00:15:16,137
Well, he threw his
registration at me.

434
00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:17,758
Then he muttered
under his breath

435
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:18,655
"what a jerk"

436
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:19,517
but I heard him.

437
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,620
I have really good ears.

438
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:24,310
And lovely eyes.

439
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:25,724
Thank you.

440
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,655
No further questions.

441
00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:32,000
The people call
our next witness.

442
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:37,827
Sabrina spellman.

443
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,965
Normally, I don't like to
say bad things about people

444
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000
but as I am under oath...

445
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,620
Mr. Rothwell's
completely unfair.

446
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,310
He doesn't like kids,
he doesn't like math

447
00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:49,034
he doesn't like teaching
and he doesn't like chalk.

448
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:51,482
These are very serious charges.

449
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,103
Have you any proof?

450
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,862
I could call my friend gordie.

451
00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,379
Proof, proof, any proof?

452
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,586
It doesn't exist.

453
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,931
Mr. Rothwell's unfairness lies

454
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:00,482
only in the hearts
of those students

455
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:02,793
whose love of math
he has destroyed.

456
00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:04,689
Including yours, Sabrina?

457
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,655
It's too early to tell, but...

458
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,310
There is a chance

459
00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:08,896
that for the rest of my life

460
00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:10,379
I will fear math.

461
00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:11,068
I will sweat every time

462
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,551
I have to calculate a tip.

463
00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,137
I will put off balancing
my checkbook.

464
00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:14,965
I will play Blackjack,

465
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,275
but I will not understand it.

466
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,862
If you understood it,
you wouldn't play it.

467
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,758
Thank you.

468
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,586
You may step down.

469
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,448
Counselor, are there
any other witnesses?

470
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:28,862
The people rest.

471
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,689
Would the defendant like
to make a closing statement?

472
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,965
Yes, I would.

473
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,413
Your honor, I'm
not a baby-sitter.

474
00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:39,034
I'm paid to teach math,
and that is what I do.

475
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:42,275
Yes, I could be more
sensitive, but let's face it.

476
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:43,965
The world is full
of people like me...

477
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,103
People who choose favorites,
people who don't accept excuses

478
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:50,000
people who are unfair.

479
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:51,103
Well, life is unfair

480
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:54,793
and I'm just helping my
students to get used to that.

481
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:57,448
Mr. Rothwell, just
one last question.

482
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,068
Do you intend to
teach high school

483
00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:00,448
for the rest of your life?

484
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:01,448
Are you kidding?

485
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:02,769
I'm just doing this
till I can start on

486
00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:04,793
my own software company.

487
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:06,448
Oh. Thank you.

488
00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:09,000
Well, I shall return
with my decision

489
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:11,482
and a fresh cup of cocoa.

490
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,413
Salem: Flowers, soft lights...

491
00:17:14,448 --> 00:17:15,275
What's missing?

492
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:18,206
Oops. Almost forgot.

493
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:21,862
[ Soft music plays]

494
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,379
Oh, yeah.

495
00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:25,931
I've reached my decision.

496
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,310
With respect to the
existential code violation

497
00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:34,793
this court finds you not guilty
due to insufficient evidence.

498
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:35,655
With respect

499
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,758
to the vehicular code violation

500
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:40,206
the court finds you
guilty as charged.

501
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,448
Aw, nuts.

502
00:17:41,482 --> 00:17:45,275
But we'll waive
the usual $40 fine

503
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,482
and instead

504
00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:48,551
sentence you to a lifetime

505
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:51,034
of teaching high school algebra.

506
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:53,172
What?! That's not fair!

507
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,517
Case closed.

508
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,517
No!

509
00:17:56,551 --> 00:18:00,379
No...!

510
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,827
No!!

511
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:08,310
This trial shall be stricken
from all mortal memory.

512
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,862
Court is adjourned.

513
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:11,896
Wait a second.

514
00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:14,344
How can being sentenced
to teaching high school

515
00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:15,724
be sufficient punishment?

516
00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:17,172
Because it's the worst thing

517
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:19,068
Mr. Rothwell can imagine.

518
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,320
But now kids are going
to be stuck with him

519
00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:21,793
year after year.

520
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,241
Well, whether he means to or not

521
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:25,103
he teaches a valuable lesson.

522
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,862
Some people are just jerks?

523
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:29,103
Yes, but if you study hard

524
00:18:29,137 --> 00:18:30,389
and you don't let him get to you

525
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,689
you'll pass algebra,
and then you can forget it

526
00:18:33,724 --> 00:18:35,482
but he's trapped
in math forever.

527
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:37,344
So, he did get
his just desserts.

528
00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:38,344
Mm-hmm.

529
00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:40,179
And now I think we
should get frozen desserts.

530
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,068
[ Doorbell rings]

531
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,172
The door's open.

532
00:18:51,413 --> 00:18:52,344
Salem?

533
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:53,172
I don't believe it.

534
00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,620
You look even more stunning

535
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:55,448
than the last time

536
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,448
I saw you.

537
00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:59,103
It's so good to see you, too.

538
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,620
No! Stay back!

539
00:19:00,655 --> 00:19:01,448
Why?

540
00:19:01,482 --> 00:19:02,724
You said you wanted to talk

541
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,103
so let's talk.

542
00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:06,793
Youwant to talk?

543
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:08,413
You have changed.

544
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:09,896
You could say that.

545
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,241
Is that your cat?

546
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,689
Huh? Uh, y-yes.

547
00:19:13,724 --> 00:19:16,655
They make incredible
companions, you know.

548
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,448
So, what's on your mind?

549
00:19:19,482 --> 00:19:22,068
Us. And how we broke up.

550
00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:24,551
See, at the time,
I felt shut out.

551
00:19:24,586 --> 00:19:27,034
You were so consumed
with global conquest

552
00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:28,620
and I resented taking a backseat

553
00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,275
to world domination.

554
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:34,241
But here it is 30
years later, and...

555
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:36,413
Now I realize that
you were the best thing

556
00:19:36,448 --> 00:19:38,310
that ever happened to me.

557
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,551
Go on.

558
00:19:39,586 --> 00:19:42,034
I know it's kind
of sudden, but...

559
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:43,758
I think we should
give it another try.

560
00:19:43,793 --> 00:19:44,758
I don't see why not.

561
00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,689
I care about you,
you care about me...

562
00:19:46,724 --> 00:19:48,206
Enough words!

563
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,000
Salem, hold me.

564
00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,206
Oh, shelley!

565
00:19:51,241 --> 00:19:52,689
Oh! Your cat!

566
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:55,000
Get off me!

567
00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:55,724
Salem...

568
00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:57,344
Salem: I can explain.

569
00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:00,793
Salem...

570
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,034
Is that you?

571
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:02,724
Yes.

572
00:20:02,758 --> 00:20:04,586
You're a cat?

573
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,620
Technically.

574
00:20:05,655 --> 00:20:08,034
Who's your friend?

575
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,206
A mannequin?!

576
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,827
How long were you
expecting this to fool me?

577
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,172
Another 30 seconds?

578
00:20:14,206 --> 00:20:15,758
Well, all right. Look

579
00:20:15,793 --> 00:20:16,724
I got caught

580
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:19,793
and they sentenced
me to 100 years as this.

581
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:22,068
This is not what I had in mind.

582
00:20:22,103 --> 00:20:23,206
We can work it out.

583
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,896
Sorry, cat, this is good-bye.

584
00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:28,448
I loved you.

585
00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:30,034
But I'm better now.

586
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,034
I like to snuggle

587
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:32,137
I have great night vision

588
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:35,413
and I'm super, super clean.

589
00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:38,655
It's so unfair.

590
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:41,655
[ Sobbing]

591
00:20:41,689 --> 00:20:43,000
Which equals the square root

592
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,172
of negative four or two "I."

593
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:46,827
Got it. Perfect.

594
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,793
You seem a lot
more relaxed today.

595
00:20:48,827 --> 00:20:51,413
Yeah, well, I decided I'm not
going to let rothwell get to me.

596
00:20:51,448 --> 00:20:53,689
And you know, I'm even
feeling a little sorry for him.

597
00:20:53,724 --> 00:20:55,217
Did you hear the
financing fell through

598
00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:56,310
on his software company?

599
00:20:56,344 --> 00:20:59,896
And have you noticed
how big his butt's gotten?

600
00:20:59,931 --> 00:21:00,689
No.

601
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:01,724
Okay, last problem.

602
00:21:04,241 --> 00:21:07,896
♪ Shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song, funky song ♪

603
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:11,689
♪ shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song... ♪

604
00:21:11,724 --> 00:21:12,931
All: Shh!

605
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,034
Sorry.

606
00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:18,448
[ No audio]

607
00:21:22,034 --> 00:21:23,000
[ Sighing]

608
00:21:23,034 --> 00:21:24,655
Poor Salem.

609
00:21:24,689 --> 00:21:26,482
Are you going to be okay?

610
00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,000
I guess.

611
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:29,620
With time.

612
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:30,965
No.

613
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,689
Don't worry, you'll
be happy again soon.

614
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:35,137
Please. Shelley was
the love of my life.

615
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:37,758
What would ever
replace her in my heart?

616
00:21:37,793 --> 00:21:39,655
Maybe this'll help.

617
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,758
A giant ball of yarn?!

618
00:21:41,793 --> 00:21:43,758
This is the best ever!

619
00:21:43,793 --> 00:21:44,724
I thought you'd like it.

620
00:21:44,758 --> 00:21:47,827
Like it? I don't even
remember her name!