1
00:00:02,241 --> 00:00:04,172
Hello? Cousin monty,

2
00:00:04,206 --> 00:00:05,217
how nice to hear from you.

3
00:00:05,241 --> 00:00:08,034
Here's Zelda.

4
00:00:08,068 --> 00:00:09,482
Hi, monty.

5
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:11,896
Yes, we'll be home for
Christmas Eve. Why?

6
00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:13,000
[ No audio]

7
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:16,413
You're kidding. I was sure
you'd have other plans.

8
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,655
Of course you're always welcome.

9
00:00:19,689 --> 00:00:24,896
We'll spend the
holidays together.

10
00:00:24,931 --> 00:00:25,724
It's no trouble.

11
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:27,079
We'll see you
tomorrow at 7:00, then.

12
00:00:27,103 --> 00:00:29,724
Ugh! You invited cousin monty?

13
00:00:29,758 --> 00:00:30,586
How could you?

14
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:31,517
He's family.

15
00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:32,689
He shouldn't be alone

16
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:33,862
for the holidays.

17
00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:35,793
But he's so annoying.

18
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,931
Well, you should
have said something.

19
00:00:57,344 --> 00:00:59,241
Smile when you
say that, pardner.

20
00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:02,689
[ Humming]

21
00:01:02,724 --> 00:01:04,275
Hot mulled cider.

22
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,482
Want some?

23
00:01:05,517 --> 00:01:07,827
Let me "mull" it over.

24
00:01:07,862 --> 00:01:10,344
Every Christmas that
gets a little less funny.

25
00:01:10,379 --> 00:01:11,379
I'll take more egg nog

26
00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:14,275
and this time don't skimp
on the Christmas cheer.

27
00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:15,758
No liquor for you, Salem.

28
00:01:15,793 --> 00:01:17,517
Your little kitty
liver can't handle it.

29
00:01:17,551 --> 00:01:18,689
Give me a break.

30
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:21,103
You know I always get
depressed this time of year.

31
00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:22,137
Why?

32
00:01:22,172 --> 00:01:23,103
Well, for one thing

33
00:01:23,137 --> 00:01:25,034
I'm a cat.

34
00:01:25,068 --> 00:01:27,620
Come on, just try and
have a little Christmas spirit.

35
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,620
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

36
00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:30,310
♪ Feh.

37
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:31,620
Now, that's enough.

38
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:33,793
You don't have to enjoy
the Christmas season

39
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,827
but you will not ruin
it for the rest of us.

40
00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:41,620
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of Holly ♪

41
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:43,413
Stupid cat!

42
00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:49,413
Salem, were you
in my closet again?

43
00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:50,344
Yeah. So?

44
00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:51,907
You ruined my favorite
Christmas sweater.

45
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:53,068
Yeah. So?

46
00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:54,206
It meant a lot to me.

47
00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:56,655
Then you shouldn't have
hidden your diary under it.

48
00:01:56,689 --> 00:01:58,000
You were reading my diary again?

49
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,079
Yes. It's duller
than dishwater...

50
00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:00,872
I told you a thousand
times, stay out of my stuff!

51
00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:02,758
Stop it, you two!

52
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:03,758
It's Christmas Eve

53
00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,896
and I don't want
any more arguing.

54
00:02:05,931 --> 00:02:06,965
Salem, you owe Sabrina

55
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,275
an apology.

56
00:02:09,034 --> 00:02:10,000
Now!

57
00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:11,862
I'm thinking of how to word it.

58
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:13,241
Try "I'm sorry."

59
00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:15,413
Somehow that just
doesn't feel right.

60
00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:16,137
Forget it.

61
00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:17,182
I don't have time for this.

62
00:02:17,206 --> 00:02:18,862
I've got to meet
Harvey at the slicery.

63
00:02:18,896 --> 00:02:21,000
But now I've got to
change, thanks to you.

64
00:02:21,034 --> 00:02:22,137
Since you thanked me

65
00:02:22,172 --> 00:02:23,517
can I ask a favor?

66
00:02:23,551 --> 00:02:24,689
Excuse me, cat?

67
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,344
You want a favor?

68
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,482
Yeah, can I tag
along to the slicery?

69
00:02:28,517 --> 00:02:29,827
I've got a touch of cabin fever,

70
00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:30,827
and I'd really like...

71
00:02:30,862 --> 00:02:31,896
Are you insane?

72
00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:33,044
I wouldn't bring
you to the slicery

73
00:02:33,068 --> 00:02:36,379
if you were the last
person/cat on earth.

74
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:38,517
Man, what's her problem?

75
00:02:38,551 --> 00:02:40,172
You are so self-centered

76
00:02:40,206 --> 00:02:41,275
even for a cat.

77
00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:42,896
How about we leave you alone

78
00:02:42,931 --> 00:02:44,448
to think about what you've done?

79
00:02:44,482 --> 00:02:46,241
And when Sabrina
comes back downstairs

80
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:49,551
I suggest you apologize.

81
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,103
Say you're sorry.

82
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:54,000
Hmm. "I'm sorry."

83
00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:56,103
"I'm sorry."

84
00:02:56,137 --> 00:02:58,517
I'm sorry I didn't
think of this sooner.

85
00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:07,896
Oh... Harvey's gift.

86
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,379
Hi. Sorry I'm late.

87
00:03:20,413 --> 00:03:21,586
That's okay.

88
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,044
It's good for me to
read sports illustrated.

89
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:26,206
Now I'll have something to talk
about it with my dad during church.

90
00:03:26,241 --> 00:03:27,793
Anyway, here... this is for you.

91
00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:29,182
Thanks, Harvey. It
was so sweet of you...

92
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,413
Open it... please.

93
00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:32,620
I'm kind of nervous.

94
00:03:32,655 --> 00:03:33,586
About what?

95
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:34,275
About whether you'll

96
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:36,137
like it or not.

97
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:38,620
I love it! It's beautiful.

98
00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:39,896
A silver necklace.

99
00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,931
Technically, it's a choker.

100
00:03:41,965 --> 00:03:43,310
I just learned that.

101
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:44,413
Help me put it on?

102
00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:45,896
I hope it's the right size.

103
00:03:45,931 --> 00:03:47,148
My sister helped
me to pick it out

104
00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:49,241
and she's got a
neck like a linebacker.

105
00:03:49,275 --> 00:03:52,551
Your dad must be really proud.

106
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:54,241
It looks pretty.

107
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:55,206
Oh, hey, I've got

108
00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:58,448
something for you.

109
00:03:58,482 --> 00:04:00,931
Salem..?

110
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:01,862
How did he get to this?

111
00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:03,551
My cat ruins everything.

112
00:04:03,586 --> 00:04:06,379
Hey, no big deal. I was
going to rip it open anyway.

113
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,517
Here.

114
00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:12,482
Wow! A scarf!

115
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:13,827
It's great!

116
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,034
I made it myself.

117
00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:16,620
You knit?

118
00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:18,379
I made it myself.

119
00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:19,620
It fits.

120
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:20,413
Hey, look...

121
00:04:20,448 --> 00:04:22,344
We both got each
other neck stuff.

122
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,793
Number 17, your pizza's ready.

123
00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:26,034
That's us.

124
00:04:26,068 --> 00:04:27,896
I ordered "the Christmas pizza."

125
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,068
With red and green peppers?

126
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,103
Yep.

127
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:33,862
So. This is the slicery.

128
00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:37,206
Man, what a dump.

129
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:39,551
Hey, look... parsley.

130
00:04:39,586 --> 00:04:41,586
I think it's mistletoe.

131
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:42,896
Mistletoe?

132
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:45,000
Yeah, go ahead. Give her

133
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:45,931
a Christmas kiss.

134
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:46,793
I bet she'd like that.

135
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,827
Wouldn't you?

136
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:50,000
Okay.

137
00:04:57,103 --> 00:04:58,793
Is that what I think it is?

138
00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,034
What was that?

139
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,103
Salem? I can't believe this.

140
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,586
Who let a cat in?

141
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:10,827
Sabrina, isn't that yours?

142
00:05:10,862 --> 00:05:13,000
He must have
crawled into my bag.

143
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:14,482
This cat belongs to you?

144
00:05:14,517 --> 00:05:16,586
We don't allow animals in here.

145
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,965
You let a mouse in.

146
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,310
Uh, there's no mouse.

147
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:20,689
I saw no mouse!

148
00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:23,172
Now, get that dirty
cat out of here.

149
00:05:23,206 --> 00:05:24,724
No, not through the front door.

150
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:25,965
Cats are a health hazard.

151
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,551
Take him through the kitchen.

152
00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:32,413
And don'tcome back!

153
00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:33,931
Who'd want to?

154
00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:34,896
"Dirty cat"?

155
00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:36,862
I was the cleanest
thing in the whole place.

156
00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,000
You are in so much trouble.

157
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:39,000
I have never been so mad at you

158
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,068
in my entire life.

159
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:43,034
What's the big deal?
There was a mouse.

160
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,241
I chased it. End of story.

161
00:05:45,275 --> 00:05:47,758
Not end if story. You got
me kicked out of the slicery.

162
00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:49,251
It's one place I
had a little privacy.

163
00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:50,724
Don't talk to me about privacy.

164
00:05:50,758 --> 00:05:52,241
I'm the one who
has to relieve himself

165
00:05:52,275 --> 00:05:54,034
in a box in the
middle of the kitchen.

166
00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:58,310
Do know how hard it is to
get that faraway stare going?

167
00:05:58,344 --> 00:05:59,965
Oh, like anyone's watching.

168
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,275
Sabrina, are you back there?

169
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,034
Harvey's coming. Now, be quiet.

170
00:06:03,068 --> 00:06:05,896
Oh, meow.

171
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:06,758
I mean it.

172
00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:08,172
I got the pizza to go.

173
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,482
Are you okay?

174
00:06:09,517 --> 00:06:12,241
No. I'm getting
attitude from my cat.

175
00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:15,241
Sometimes I wish I
could just [ Groaning] him!

176
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,310
Come on. Cut him some slack.

177
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,931
After all, his brain's
only the size of a walnut.

178
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,068
[ Meowing]

179
00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:22,620
That's an excellent
point, Harvey.

180
00:06:22,655 --> 00:06:25,793
Sometimes I forget
he's just a stupidcat...

181
00:06:25,827 --> 00:06:28,896
A stupid, stupid, stupid cat.

182
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:30,827
I feel better.

183
00:06:30,862 --> 00:06:32,113
Good. Come on.
I'll walk you home.

184
00:06:32,137 --> 00:06:34,965
Okay. Just give me a sec.

185
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,103
No.salem, get in the bag.

186
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:37,862
Get in the bag!

187
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:39,206
Get lost, bi-ped.

188
00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,758
I don't need you to get home.

189
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:44,034
Fine. Stay in the
trash for all I care.

190
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:45,068
Let's go.

191
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,310
You know, that's cute...
Talking to your cat.

192
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:51,103
Yeah, if only I could
get him to listen...

193
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:52,655
No, no...

194
00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:54,000
You can't make me.

195
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:55,068
We agreed.

196
00:06:55,103 --> 00:06:56,310
You promised you would do

197
00:06:56,344 --> 00:06:57,448
the cooking this year.

198
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,310
You're a much
better cook than I am.

199
00:06:59,344 --> 00:07:04,551
I have prepared Christmas
dinner for the last 280 years.

200
00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:05,620
It's your turn.

201
00:07:05,655 --> 00:07:07,103
But I... Hilda...

202
00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:08,724
You're not getting out of it.

203
00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:12,724
I hate cooking.

204
00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:16,034
Hello? Is anybody home?

205
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,758
Monty!

206
00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:18,586
Monty...

207
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:19,931
Glad tidings to all.

208
00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:22,241
I come bearing figgy pudding.

209
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,241
And you're familiar

210
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:24,310
with my familiar.

211
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,068
Merry Christmas, newt.

212
00:07:26,103 --> 00:07:27,862
Newt: I forgot my fruitcake.

213
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:30,137
You didn't mention you
were bringing an extra mouth.

214
00:07:30,172 --> 00:07:32,310
Hilda, how much can
one little newt eat?

215
00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:35,172
Besides, any friend of monty's
is welcomed in this house.

216
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:36,907
Well, I'm delighted to
hear you say that, zelly

217
00:07:36,931 --> 00:07:38,586
because I have
something to declare.

218
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:41,172
Come forth, my lovely.

219
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:43,206
Ladies, meet Lulu.

220
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:47,689
Happy holidays.

221
00:07:47,724 --> 00:07:49,034
Oh, it's awful cramped in there.

222
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:49,448
Do you mind

223
00:07:49,482 --> 00:07:51,137
if I stretch?

224
00:07:51,172 --> 00:07:52,206
Isn't she a pip?

225
00:07:52,241 --> 00:07:54,034
Oh, she's "pippy," all right.

226
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:56,241
Of course, she doesn't
have a nickel to her name.

227
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,251
I wish I could have married
money, like Cole Porter

228
00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:02,103
but, lord help me,
I'm attracted to this.

229
00:08:02,137 --> 00:08:05,000
Hey.

230
00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:06,758
Man, I'm glad I
didn't invite Harvey in.

231
00:08:06,793 --> 00:08:09,034
Sabrina, you're just in
time to meet our guests.

232
00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:10,103
This is monty...

233
00:08:10,137 --> 00:08:10,793
Charmed.

234
00:08:10,827 --> 00:08:12,482
And Lulu.

235
00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:13,482
Hello.

236
00:08:13,517 --> 00:08:15,482
I can roll my tongue.

237
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,068
Oh, and this is

238
00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:19,931
Salem's oldest and
dearest friend, newt.

239
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,862
Oldest and dearest
friend, my tail.

240
00:08:21,896 --> 00:08:22,862
You know it's Salem's fault

241
00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:24,655
that I'm a salamander
in the first place.

242
00:08:24,689 --> 00:08:27,482
Newt was into Salem's
scheme for world domination.

243
00:08:27,517 --> 00:08:28,724
Wayinto it.

244
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,034
Yeah, he promised me Denmark.

245
00:08:31,068 --> 00:08:33,862
So where's the dear
boy... Out canning around?

246
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:37,241
Last I saw, he's in a
dumpster behind the slicery.

247
00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:38,758
He said he'd find
his own way home.

248
00:08:38,793 --> 00:08:40,068
You left him outside?

249
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,620
You know he's a house pet.

250
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,137
He'll be fine.

251
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:46,344
Salem's the only cat in
town that can call a cab.

252
00:08:46,379 --> 00:08:49,000
♪ ...said barnacle
bill the sailor. ♪

253
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:49,931
[ Chuckling]

254
00:08:49,965 --> 00:08:52,206
That's all the sea
chanteys I know.

255
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,862
They must be plenty
worried about me now.

256
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:56,137
Time to head home.

257
00:08:58,724 --> 00:09:00,689
Kitty, kitty, are
you all right?!

258
00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:02,344
You don't look hurt

259
00:09:02,379 --> 00:09:06,724
but I'd better take you
home to make sure.

260
00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:09,448
Zelda, you've really
outdone yourself.

261
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,965
Delicious hot mulled cider.

262
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,172
[ Giggling]: It tickles!

263
00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:14,172
[ Thumping]

264
00:09:14,206 --> 00:09:15,034
Did you hear something?

265
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:16,448
I hope it's Salem.

266
00:09:16,482 --> 00:09:18,000
Tell him I'm still mad.

267
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:19,137
Salem?

268
00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:25,620
No, it's just a bunch of
kids throwing snowballs.

269
00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:27,655
Watch out for the ice.

270
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:29,689
Kids: Ow!

271
00:09:29,724 --> 00:09:31,551
Newt: Where is Salem, anyway?

272
00:09:31,586 --> 00:09:33,344
Probably out having
the time of his life.

273
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,034
I can hear your heart, kitty.

274
00:09:39,068 --> 00:09:40,758
You're going to live!

275
00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:41,931
Rex, wash up.

276
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:44,379
It's time for... dinner.

277
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:45,206
What's that?

278
00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:46,448
A kitty.

279
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:48,586
I see that, but
where'd he come from?

280
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,655
He followed me
home. Can I keep him?

281
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,482
Oh... you know how
your mom is about pets

282
00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:56,586
and we still don't know
where the snake is.

283
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,172
I won't lose the kitty.

284
00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:58,758
Well...

285
00:09:58,793 --> 00:09:59,862
Please? It would be

286
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:02,379
the best Christmas present ever.

287
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:03,379
Keep him in your room.

288
00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:05,172
I'll talk to your mom
about it tomorrow.

289
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,655
Right now she
has her family over.

290
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,758
It's not a good time.

291
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:11,137
Come on. Let's
get ready for dinner.

292
00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:12,724
Guess what I named him.

293
00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:13,275
What?

294
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,413
Stinky.

295
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,448
Okay.

296
00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:20,068
I got some names
for you, too, kid.

297
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,068
Ooh!

298
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,448
Phone...

299
00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:25,620
Isn't he marvelous?

300
00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,896
I just can't keep
my feet off of him.

301
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,344
You seem really in love.

302
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,965
Well, she's just
so darn flexible.

303
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,068
I still think we should
have waited for Salem.

304
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,034
It's not like him
to miss a meal.

305
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:40,068
I hope he's okay.
It's getting cold out.

306
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,482
He has a fur coat.

307
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,137
Can we change the subject?

308
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:44,724
Let's, uh... talk about...

309
00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:46,517
Monty!

310
00:10:46,551 --> 00:10:48,448
I want to know
everything about you.

311
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,344
I was born in a lighthouse...

312
00:10:50,379 --> 00:10:51,344
[ Phone rings]

313
00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:53,172
I'll get it.

314
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:54,034
A lighthouse?

315
00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:55,517
In Nebraska?

316
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,206
It explains the hat.

317
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,379
Hello?

318
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:02,172
Oh, hi, Salem. Need a ride?

319
00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:05,206
Help me! I've been kidnapped
and I'm wearing a nightgown!

320
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:06,344
What? Where are you?

321
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:07,517
Some kid's room.

322
00:11:07,551 --> 00:11:09,379
He knocked me out
behind the slicery.

323
00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,586
I came to... just in
time... To see his house.

324
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:14,034
It has a white door
and a Christmas wreath.

325
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,379
Is this a joke?

326
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,103
Hello? Who is this?

327
00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:18,551
Sabrina. Do you have my cat?

328
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:22,965
Sorry, Sabrina, he's mycat now.

329
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,068
Wait! Don't hang up!

330
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:25,689
The phone's not for stinky.

331
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,241
Now, I have to go eat dinner

332
00:11:27,275 --> 00:11:30,620
but later on I'm going to
give you a nice, long bath

333
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:35,448
so you'll be all
clean for Santa.

334
00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:39,344
What have I done?!

335
00:11:43,896 --> 00:11:44,965
Salem's been kidnapped.

336
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,344
Kidnapped? by who?

337
00:11:46,379 --> 00:11:48,137
A little boy with a lisp.

338
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:49,931
What does he want?
I'll pay whatever it is.

339
00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:51,482
He doesn't want
money. He wants Salem.

340
00:11:51,517 --> 00:11:53,586
But remember, I offered.

341
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:54,931
Look, we have to get him back.

342
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,172
Can we use magic to find him?

343
00:11:56,206 --> 00:11:58,931
You can't file a missing
witch's report for 24 hours.

344
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,586
We can't wait a whole day.

345
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,206
Calm down. We can look
for Salem the mortal way...

346
00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:04,551
What do we know?

347
00:12:04,586 --> 00:12:06,803
He's trapped in a house with a
white door and a Christmas wreath.

348
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,172
Which in July would've helped us

349
00:12:08,206 --> 00:12:10,206
but right now we
need more information.

350
00:12:10,241 --> 00:12:12,275
He's also wearing a nightgown.

351
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,172
Interesting but irrelevant.

352
00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:16,000
We should return to
the scene of the crime.

353
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,965
The alley behind
the slicery. Let's go.

354
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:19,827
We'll go with you.

355
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:21,275
I'm stuck!

356
00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:22,413
Uh, plan b...

357
00:12:22,448 --> 00:12:24,034
We'll hold down the fort.

358
00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:29,862
♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen

359
00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:32,827
♪ let nothing you dismay

360
00:12:32,862 --> 00:12:34,551
I'm so alone.

361
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:36,000
[ Sobbing]

362
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,758
Hello?

363
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,103
They're all closed
up for the holidays.

364
00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:50,793
Where's hilda?

365
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,931
No Salem, but I
found a lot of crust.

366
00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:53,724
What's with people?

367
00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:54,862
It's my favorite part.

368
00:12:54,896 --> 00:12:56,241
We've got trash and more trash.

369
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,206
We have nothing.

370
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:59,931
He's our only eyewitness,
and he's no help.

371
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,724
Well, we haven't asked.

372
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:07,379
Hey, what's going on?

373
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:08,413
Coolio.

374
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:09,103
Cool.

375
00:13:09,137 --> 00:13:10,758
We need some information.

376
00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:13,068
Oh, as you can see,
that's right up my alley.

377
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:15,413
We were wondering
if you'd seen our cat.

378
00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:16,827
Hanging out in this alley

379
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:17,827
I see a lot of cats.

380
00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:19,551
So you got to be more specific.

381
00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:20,586
Well, he's a black cat

382
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,413
about this tall

383
00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:24,068
and he talks.

384
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,448
Oh, the talking cat.

385
00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:27,517
I remember him.

386
00:13:27,551 --> 00:13:29,551
He was singing sea chanteys.

387
00:13:29,586 --> 00:13:31,379
Then he got hit by a bike.

388
00:13:31,413 --> 00:13:33,206
He got hit? Was he hurt?

389
00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:35,689
No, but the kid took
him home just to be sure.

390
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:36,793
Which way did they go?

391
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:39,655
Um, down that
way and to the left.

392
00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:40,137
Did you see

393
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,068
anything else?

394
00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:43,896
Yeah. The kid's wheels
had a vanity plate.

395
00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:45,862
Um, his name was Rex.

396
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:47,931
Uh, that's Latin for king.

397
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:50,724
Um, anyway, I got
to get back to work.

398
00:13:50,758 --> 00:13:53,655
So, um, are you guys
coming to the concert?

399
00:13:53,689 --> 00:13:55,320
It says it's sold out.
Can you get me tickets?

400
00:13:55,344 --> 00:13:57,620
Sorry, I'm just an alley poster.

401
00:13:57,655 --> 00:13:59,379
Try a billboard.

402
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:00,827
Merry Christmas.

403
00:14:00,862 --> 00:14:02,827
Thank you, Mr. Coolio.

404
00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:05,068
Word to your mother.

405
00:14:05,103 --> 00:14:06,103
Right.

406
00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:11,379
Okay, we're on his tail.

407
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:12,482
Now we know who, when, how

408
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:13,655
and sort of where.

409
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:15,103
Let's start knocking on doors.

410
00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:21,344
[ "Jingle bell rock" playing]

411
00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:29,379
♪

412
00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,724
Salem?

413
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:04,965
I need a plan.

414
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,586
What would MacGyver do?

415
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:09,379
You know, if he were a cat.

416
00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:11,896
It's a crazy idea,
but it just might...

417
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,586
No, that won't work.

418
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,793
But that might.

419
00:15:17,137 --> 00:15:20,241
Bye, grandma, see you next year!

420
00:15:20,275 --> 00:15:21,965
Stinky?

421
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,793
Where are you, stinky?

422
00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:27,517
Yes!

423
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:33,103
Oh, no! Stinky's gone!

424
00:15:34,793 --> 00:15:39,103
Oh, yay, stinky's back.

425
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,620
I told you to keep
him in your room.

426
00:15:40,655 --> 00:15:42,275
I'm sorry, daddy.

427
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,827
It'll never happen again.

428
00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:48,827
I'll make sure of that.

429
00:15:48,862 --> 00:15:49,448
[ Doorbell chimes]

430
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,724
I'll get it! I'll get it!

431
00:15:56,137 --> 00:15:57,241
What do you want?

432
00:15:57,275 --> 00:15:59,517
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I was looking for my cat

433
00:15:59,551 --> 00:16:00,907
and I was wondering
if you'd seen it.

434
00:16:00,931 --> 00:16:02,448
A cat?

435
00:16:02,482 --> 00:16:04,827
No, my mom won't
let me have a pet.

436
00:16:04,862 --> 00:16:06,517
Okay. Thanks, anyway.

437
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:09,655
Merry Christmas.

438
00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:10,931
You have a lisp.

439
00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:11,758
So?

440
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:12,586
What's your name?

441
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,482
None of your business.

442
00:16:13,517 --> 00:16:15,206
Rex, who's at the door?

443
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,000
Rex? You have my cat.
Give me back my cat!

444
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:19,172
What's going on here?

445
00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:20,275
Your son has my cat.

446
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,931
No, I'm afraid you
must be mistaken.

447
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,379
My little Rex
doesn't have a cat.

448
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,241
See! look, I know he's lying.

449
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:29,413
Salem! Salem? Sabrina?

450
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,586
Can I just check his room?

451
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,758
That's enough. Don't
make me call my husband.

452
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:34,068
Go away!

453
00:16:34,103 --> 00:16:35,586
And merry Christmas.

454
00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:40,000
It's all my fault.

455
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:41,448
I never should've
left him alone.

456
00:16:41,482 --> 00:16:42,965
He'll be okay.

457
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,310
Even before he was a cat

458
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,034
Salem always landed on his feet.

459
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,275
If it weren't for
me, he'd be home.

460
00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:49,689
I could kick myself.

461
00:16:49,724 --> 00:16:51,137
I cankick myself.

462
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,103
Can we focus?

463
00:16:54,137 --> 00:16:55,793
We have five witches and a newt.

464
00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:57,079
We should be able
to do something.

465
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:57,965
I've got it.

466
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,448
We all hide inside a
giant wooden horse.

467
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,896
Mmm. That worked
so well the last time.

468
00:17:02,931 --> 00:17:05,413
What if I used my magic to pop
into the house and grab Salem?

469
00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:06,758
Too risky.

470
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,010
If the little boy sees you, you're
caught. How will you explain?

471
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:12,068
I wouldn't... I'd just
knock himas I could.

472
00:17:12,103 --> 00:17:13,482
Oh, good plan.

473
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,413
Bad plan.

474
00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:17,551
Well, maybe I just
got a better one.

475
00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:24,896
Who's that?

476
00:17:24,931 --> 00:17:26,379
Santa.

477
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,965
Is that you?

478
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,931
Ho, ho, ho.

479
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,965
The other kids
said you didn't exist

480
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,068
but I knew you did... I knew it.

481
00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:36,517
Yeah, yeah... listen,
Rex, we need to talk.

482
00:17:36,551 --> 00:17:37,724
Did you bring me presents?

483
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:38,758
Yeah, I did.

484
00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:39,793
Ho, ho, ho.

485
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:42,689
I, uh... I brought you a, uh...

486
00:17:42,724 --> 00:17:44,103
Spatula.

487
00:17:44,137 --> 00:17:44,896
And...

488
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,896
This, uh, Neil
diamond boxed set.

489
00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:48,862
Neil diamond?

490
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:51,034
Didn't you get my fax?

491
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:52,448
You'll get more
presents tomorrow.

492
00:17:52,482 --> 00:17:54,482
Right now though, I
need to talk to your cat.

493
00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:55,689
Why do you want stinky for?

494
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,448
Well, see, you
got the wrong cat.

495
00:17:57,482 --> 00:17:59,758
Actually he belongs to
this sweet little blonde girl

496
00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:01,034
who misses him very much.

497
00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:03,448
Tough luck.

498
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,310
Well, if that's how
you feel about it

499
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:08,896
then let me just give, uh,
stinky his Christmas present.

500
00:18:10,206 --> 00:18:11,862
It's in the bag.

501
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:13,310
In the bag.

502
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:14,689
Hint, hint, hint.

503
00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:17,275
Yay, lots of houses to hit.

504
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:18,724
See you next year.

505
00:18:18,758 --> 00:18:20,931
But, Santa, you have my cat.

506
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:21,689
Got to go.

507
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,448
You can't steal my cat.

508
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:24,413
Watch me.

509
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:29,000
Santa's stealing my cat!

510
00:18:29,034 --> 00:18:31,172
Rex, what's going on?

511
00:18:31,206 --> 00:18:33,758
Santa stole my cat.

512
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:37,137
Oh, honey, no, no, you
must've been dreaming.

513
00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:38,620
You don't have a cat.

514
00:18:38,655 --> 00:18:40,344
No, I saw him. It was real.

515
00:18:40,379 --> 00:18:42,793
He gave me this spatula.

516
00:18:53,344 --> 00:18:54,448
We're ho, ho, home.

517
00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:57,379
Oh, Salem, merry
Christmas. You're back.

518
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:58,655
Safe and sound.

519
00:18:58,689 --> 00:19:00,206
Salem: It isa wonderful life.

520
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:00,655
And you know

521
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:01,620
what I realized?

522
00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:02,724
There are worse places

523
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:03,827
to be during the holidays

524
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,551
than with your family.

525
00:19:05,586 --> 00:19:07,448
Hear, hear. Hear, hear.

526
00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:09,517
Hooray.

527
00:19:09,551 --> 00:19:12,034
♪ Don we now our gay apparel

528
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,724
♪ fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

529
00:19:14,758 --> 00:19:17,448
♪ toll the ancient
yuletide Carol ♪

530
00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:21,206
♪ fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

531
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:22,281
Well, it's after midnight.

532
00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:23,620
Let's exchange gifts.

533
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:25,103
Salem: Psst.

534
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:27,517
I got you something,
but it's upstairs.

535
00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:31,172
So where's my present?

536
00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:34,068
It's more of a promise
than a present.

537
00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:34,827
No present?

538
00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:36,862
Wait. You'll like it.

539
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,586
I promise to appreciate you

540
00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,344
and respect your privacy.

541
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,379
From now on?

542
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,448
No. For like a week.

543
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:44,655
That's it?

544
00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:47,793
Okay, ten days, but
that's my final offer.

545
00:19:47,827 --> 00:19:48,827
Deal.

546
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,103
For you.

547
00:19:52,137 --> 00:19:53,448
A ring.

548
00:19:53,482 --> 00:19:55,448
Oh, it's beautiful.

549
00:19:57,689 --> 00:19:59,103
Marry me.

550
00:19:59,137 --> 00:19:59,862
I don't care

551
00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:02,103
if you're poor and
have no spine.

552
00:20:02,137 --> 00:20:03,103
Marry me.

553
00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:06,137
Monty, I would
love to be your wife.

554
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,275
And here.

555
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:08,862
This is for you.

556
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:12,000
Oh. Oh, you shouldn't have.

557
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:14,689
Oh, dear, this is a
solid gold cigarette case.

558
00:20:14,724 --> 00:20:16,586
But you're a circus act.

559
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:17,965
How could you afford this?

560
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,448
Oh, I forgot to tell you.

561
00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:21,275
My dad's loaded.

562
00:20:21,310 --> 00:20:22,275
Oh.

563
00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:23,862
Oh, dear girl.

564
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:26,034
This isthe best Christmas ever.

565
00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:28,344
I'd like to propose a toast.

566
00:20:28,379 --> 00:20:30,586
To family...

567
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,000
And to friends.

568
00:20:33,724 --> 00:20:36,482
All: Merry Christmas.

569
00:20:36,517 --> 00:20:39,275
And to all a good newt.

570
00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:43,034
I think Salem's really
happy to be home.

571
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:45,655
Yeah, he's been having
a great time all morning.

572
00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:48,068
Next year I don't think
I'll bother to buy him a gift.

573
00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:49,551
This is good.

574
00:20:49,586 --> 00:20:51,034
This is so good.

575
00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:54,000
Oh, the wrapping...
Greens and reds.

576
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:55,137
Ohhh...

577
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:57,034
This is the best Christmas ever.

578
00:20:57,068 --> 00:20:58,655
It is great to be home!

579
00:20:58,689 --> 00:21:01,344
Ohh, yes, yes, yes!

580
00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:03,758
I think he likes my paper best.

581
00:21:03,793 --> 00:21:08,137
[ Imitating motor]

582
00:21:08,172 --> 00:21:09,793
Honey, don't you want to ride

583
00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,137
your new motocross bike?

584
00:21:11,172 --> 00:21:13,137
No.

585
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:13,793
Well, you haven't played

586
00:21:13,827 --> 00:21:14,517
with your new basketball.

587
00:21:14,551 --> 00:21:15,665
How about a little one on one.

588
00:21:15,689 --> 00:21:16,310
No!

589
00:21:16,344 --> 00:21:17,413
How about your new train?

590
00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:18,034
No!

591
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:18,862
Your dump truck?

592
00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:19,620
No!

593
00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:20,448
Volcano?

594
00:21:20,482 --> 00:21:21,275
No!

595
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:23,482
Rex, give daddy the spatula.

596
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:25,758
No. Santa gave it to me.

597
00:21:25,793 --> 00:21:28,034
It's the best
Christmas present ever.

598
00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:30,310
He loves it so much.

599
00:21:30,344 --> 00:21:31,206
Where'd he get it?

600
00:21:31,241 --> 00:21:32,551
Well, I guess the same place

601
00:21:32,586 --> 00:21:34,827
he got that Neil diamond cd.

602
00:21:34,862 --> 00:21:35,862
Hey, dad, will you put on

603
00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:37,517
"sweet Caroline" again?

604
00:21:37,551 --> 00:21:39,034
No! no!