♪ Core the pumpkin, ghosts come play ♪
♪ Halloween, oh, happy day.
What are you doing to Salem?
I heard him screeching.
Very funny. We were singing a Halloween Carol.
Yes. Happy Halloween.
Bet you couldn't sleep last night
with all the excitement and anticipation.
I managed.
That's not the spirit.
Halloween is our favorite holiday.
It's a magical night.
Yes. Sing it, zeldie.
♪ Have a jolly-olly hallo-Halloween... ♪
Please stop singing.
Look, I'm trying.
I'm going to school in a costume.
Okay, guess who I am.
Sally jessy Raphael.
Do I need a microphone?
That is the lamest costume I've ever seen.
It's just a pair of glasses.
There's no fooling you.
Well, if you can do better, be my guest.
There.
Much better.
What did you do?
Oh, man.
[ Sighs]
Next up: We are going to talk to a teenage witch
and her aunts who take things too far.
♪ Have a jolly-olly hallo-Halloween ♪
♪ have a jolly-olly hallo-Halloween. ♪
Does this make my butt look big?
Hey, Sabrina, I got something for you.
It's kind of last minute, but here.
My parents are making me have a Halloween party.
Bumber. Next thing you know they'll make you go on a ski trip.
No. See, my dad always buys in bulk
at these discount clubs
and we got a lot of snack food
that expires in November.
Oh, so that's why it says
"all food must be eaten by midnight."
I'm going as James Dean.
I love James Dean.
All I need's a white t-shirt, some jeans
and something to lean on.
Anyway, I was hoping you could come early
and help me set stuff up.
I can't.
[ Bell ringing]
I've got a family thing.
My aunts take Halloween very seriously.
I know it's weird.
My mom's that way about flag day.
I wish I could help. I feel really bad.
Got your invitation, Harvey.
See you at 8:00. Unless you need me to come early and help.
Sure.
No problem.
Hey, and now you don't have to feel bad.
Sabrina: Please, I have to go to Harvey's party.
No.
What if I promise to be with the family all Thanksgiving.
We're not big on Thanksgiving.
That holiday was started by puritans
who weren't exactly witch-friendly.
So, we celebrate a night devoted to little kids
dressing up like super heroes?
That is not what all hallows Eve is all about.
It's a time for remembering the dead.
Oh, that sounds like fun.
I just know I'll have a terrible time.
And that's what family gatherings are all about.
Do you think I want to listen to cousin marigold brag
about how married she is and how single I am? No.
But we go because it's tradition.
And Zelda makes me.
Now you're making me?
See? Tradition.
I tell you what
if we get back in time
you can still go to Harvey's party, okay?
Not okay.
Libby's going early.
So, unless I'm there from the start
I may as well go to the other realm
and never come back.
Can I go to Harvey's party?
[ Clucks tongue]
It's so unfair.
They can't make me
go to the other realm.
They made me a cat.
You're messing with the wrong crowd.
There's no way I can go to Harvey's party?
There might be.
Get your magic book.
Turn to full body duplication.
What's that?
You can make a double that looks and acts just like you.
Perfect.
I'll send my double to the family thing.
No, can do. Your aunts would spot the switch
in no time.
Well, then, my double will hold my place until I can be with Harvey.
Okay, here goes.
"Double, double, toil and trouble."
Bill Shakespeare stole that from us.
What a hack.
It didn't work.
Step aside.
Wow. Amazing.
It can't talk until you give it
something to say
and keep in mind, it can only say three sentences.
Let me think... I want my double to be positive
because people always feel positive
about positive people.
My tuna's coming up.
So let's start with... "I'd love to."
I'd love to.
Okay, and I want me to be a good listener.
So let's try "that is so true."
That is so true.
And we need a universal truth.
Oh, that's easy.
Mr. Pool can be so annoying.
Well, then I guess i'm...
We're all set.
Except I need a costume.
Hey.
I look really cute.
That is so true.
I like me.
[ Laughing]
Okay, that's Libby.
She's really annoying.
Mr. Pool can be so annoying.
Your mission is to make sure she's never alone
with Harvey, okay? Go.
Sabrina?
You're not supposed to be here.
You are totally butting in.
That is so true.
[ Sighs]
Hey, Libby.
Hi, Sabrina.
You made it.
You know, you look good as a witch.
Did you notice I'm dressed as Jackie "o"?
Very classy.
You guys want to come in?
I'd love to.
Great, Sabrina and I will put out the sodas.
Jackie, fill the bathtub with cheez-its.
Yes! I'm in.
Zelda: Come on, you three.
Even with instantaneous transport
we're going to be late.
Coming, coming.
Salem, you look adorable.
I feel like a chippendale's cat.
Okay, I'm ready.
You are not going dressed like that.
Well, then, I guess i'm not going.
Sabrina.
I know you have something more appropriate.
What about this?
Please, I only wore this dress to make granny happy.
Now that she's passed, I'm done with it.
Oh, come on. It looks sweet on you.
That's what granny used to say.
Let's get this show on the road.
You look nice, hilda.
Salem: Passsomeone's in a hurry.
Happy Halloween.
Hold on.
What color is my dress?
Pass the potatoes.
Hilda, you are in big trouble.
Stupid double.
Let's go.
Am I the only one looking forward to this?
All: Yes!
Are we there yet?
Wow.
No wonder my ears popped on the way up.
Oh, the earth looks so full tonight.
Zelda!
Marigold.
And hilda.
That outfit always looks so nice on you.
Thanks. Wait.
I see you brought your cat
but no dates?
No, marigold, we're still not married.
Don't.
I'll cry.
Oh, and this must be Sabrina.
I heard you'd gone to live with your aunts.
Is it okay?
Yes, it's fine.
We love having her with us.
Well, a niece...
It's almost like having a daughter.
My little girl Amanda is right here.
You get to sit with her.
Oh, goody.
We can talk about dolls.
Zelda, hilda, you'll sit with me.
And, Salem, you'll be with the cats.
Swell.
You can all take your seats.
I'm going to check on the consomme
or as hilda would call it, soup.
What's wrong with "soup"?
Don't start.
Oh, look. Uncle nuhney.
Here, Sabrina.
Uncle nuhney.
Uncle nuhney!
I can't believe I have to sit at the kiddie table.
I can't believe I have to sit at the kitty table.
Wait. Give me a sec.
M'lady's here.
Who's that?
Marigold's pet.
She thinks her litter box doesn't stink.
And what a lush.
Ooh, catnip.
Don't mind if I do.
Okay, here we go.
Hello, Salem.
Hello, m'lady.
Hi, Amanda.
I'm your cousin Sabrina.
Better be nice to me
or I'll put you in a jar.
Excuse me?
I put people who aren't nice to me in jars.
This... is Mr. Altree.
He tried to teach me math.
Can he breathe?
Yes. I gave him air holes.
Here's a math problem, Mr. Altree...
Five air holes minus one air hole is how many?
No, please.
I want to live.
I want to live!
See? Nobody likes pop quizzes.
I want to live.
Do you want to put someone in a jar?
No. My aunts taught me
it's not nice to use magic to hurt other people.
Well, my parents let me use magic any time I want
and I don't even have to ask.
Brat.
What was that?
Nothing.
Why do I have to sit by myself?
Can't I move over one seat?
No. I'm saving this for my husband.
Poor Harold's been working so much these days
I'm not sure he'll make it
but someone's got to bring home the prosciutto.
What's wrong with bacon?
Zelda, can we go yet?
Sabrina, we just got here.
Don't you walk away from me!
I want to braid your hair!
[ Dance music playing loudly]
Did anyone eat anything?
Deenie took a handful of pretzels.
Great. I'd better refill.
Isn't the music kind of loud, Harvey?
I don't know.
The neighbors haven't complained.
[ Siren blaring]
I'd better go check that out.
Hey, turn it down.
Will you leave me alone?
Would you stop smiling at me?
Oh, you are such a goody-two-shoes.
That is so true.
[ Sighs]
At least you admit it.
You know, I'd like you a lot more
if you'd just make fun of people
but you would never do that.
Mr. Pool can be so annoying.
That's a start.
You're going to ruin your dinner.
My parents let me eat ice cream whenever I want.
My nanny said it would rot my teeth
so I put her in a jar.
You know, you should really find other ways of dealing with people.
What's that supposed to mean?
Just that, you know, you don't have to put
everyone you don't like in a jar.
That's what my psychologist said.
So I put him in a jar.
Brat.
I heard that one.
Slow down, m'lady.
Hey. I can handle it.
Mmm.
And that's
Harold and me in front of our villa.
You know, if either one of you ever has a honeymoon
you really must take it in the south of France.
On second thought, don't wait.
I wouldn't want you to miss out.
Excuse me.
I am in no hurry to get married.
That's right.
Hilda is single completely by choice
because she refuses to settle
for any of the losers she's been dating.
And, Zelda, what's your excuse?
Zelda doesn't need an excuse.
She's passionate about her intellectual pursuits.
Her love life is all in her head.
Mommy, look what I did.
Is that Sabrina?
What did you do to her?
She wouldn't color with me.
That is so cute.
Can we please go home now?
I'm reallynot having any fun.
I'll color with you, Amanda.
Please let me out.
I chose Jackie because... Well, I sort of see myself
as the first lady of westbridge high.
That is so true.
Thanks.
This party is dying.
We got to do something.
Aw, man, the onion dip is bubbling.
What this party needs is... something big
something wild.
I know.
Someone should streak.
It's fun, it's fast, it's naked.
I'd love to.
You'd streak?
I'd love to.
Sabrina...
This is a whole new you.
Man, this party is boring.
I'd leave if it weren't mine.
Harvey, I've got it taken care of.
Sabrina's going to streak.
What?! You're kidding.
Sabrina, look, I appreciate you
trying to help out my party
but streaking is never the answer.
Don't you know you'll be teased
for the rest of high school?
That is so true.
Then why are you doing it?
Mr. Pool can be so annoying.
Don't change the subject.
Look, this isn't like you.
Why are you acting so weird?
I'd... that... mister...
I can't even talk to you.
I feel so alienated.
Salem, you're the only one
who understands me.
Yeah, but it doesn't mean I care.
Dinner's over.
Can we go now?
We got you out of the jar.
Stop whining.
All right, everyone, time to open presents.
Yay!
Amanda, darling, you go first.
Better be good.
Nothing like watching Halloween
through the eyes of a spoiled child.
A solid gold Dolly!
Thank you, mommy.
It's from mommy anddaddy.
We got Sabrina something too.
Oh, here you go.
It's from both of us.
Happy Halloween.
Oh, a nice card.
Kids love those.
It's a gift certificate "to spend half an hour
with the deceased of your choice"? What's this?
You got her a reanimation?
Those are verypricey.
I want a reanimation.
I want a reanimation!
This is the weirdest gift.
What do I do with it?
It's yours to spend as you like.
But you must use it tonight. The gap
between the living and the dead is weakest on all hallows Eve.
Well, then maybe one of you should use it.
I really just want to get back to Harvey's party
and see him dressed like James Dean.
Why not meet the real James Dean?
I could do that?
Mm-hmm.
How does it work?
Now, you just fill in the name
of who you want to see
and put it through that mail slot.
How do I know I'm going to get
the real James Dean and not the sausage guy?
First of all, the sausage guy
is still alive, but just in case
write "star of rebel without a cause."
This is so great.
Wait.
I have a better idea.
There.
Now what?
We leave.
This is your own personal, private moment.
Who'd you choose?
Hilda.
Sabrina!
Granny?
Oh!
I've missed you so much.
Oh, I've missed you too.
Oh, let me take a look at you.
You look so sweet in that dress.
That was a lovely gift.
Harold gave me this.
I picked it out myself.
Which reminds me...
Hilda, I got you a little something.
Zelda, we said we weren't going
to exchange gifts this year.
I know, but I couldn't help myself.
Me neither.
Thank god you have each other.
We've been living together
way too long.
[ Cat shrieks]
M'lady: Give that back.
I know when I've had enough catnip.
Oh, no, the cat's soused again.
Why does one of our relatives
always have to get drunk?
You are not going to believe
what m'lady just blurted out.
What?
Come close.
[ Whispering]
I don't believe it.
Marigold is splitting up with Harold?!
Oh, this is the best Halloween ever!
I moved in with aunt hilda and aunt Zelda.
They do more weird things before 9:00 A.M.
Than most people do all day.
They take really good care of me.
I always liked them.
So, tell me, how's school?
Do you still like science?
Yeah.
My teacher Mr. Pool can be so annoying
but he's actually a good guy.
Do you have a... Boyfriend, dear?
There's a guy I like... His name's Harvey...
But right now we're just sort of friends.
He'd be a fool if he doesn't fall for you.
You think I'm the prettiest girl in the world.
That's because you are...
And smart too.
Thanks, but... granny, there's something I want to tell you...
Only, well, it's kind of strange.
Well, Sabrina, you know you can always tell me anything.
I'm a witch.
Well, dear, as... long as you're happy.
The clock's ticking.
Why don't you go outside and find a place to strip?
I'd love to.
You know, Sabrina
your new "do what I say" attitude
is really great.
Pay attention, everyone...
Midnight is 15 minutes away, and I think
you should all pay attention to those windows.
Do the kinkles put on some cheesy ghost show?
No, but watch closely and you might see a full moon.
M'lady also said marigold went
to the south of France alone.
But we saw Harold in the pictures.
That was a cardboard cutout.
I'm back.
Oh, how was it?
It was an amazing gift.
I got to seem granny again and tell her everything is okay.
Thanks, aunt Zelda.
Thanks, aunt hilda.
We're glad you liked it.
And now it's time to leave.
Amanda, darling, when someone gives you a gift
you're supposed to say "thank you."
Fine.
Thank you.
Now, that's verging on rude.
Oh.
We've come to say good-bye
and to thank you.
You've made our evening
in so many ways.
We hope it wasn't too stressful...
Planning the party
preparing the food
divorcing Harold...
No, but... what?!
Oh, we know all about it.
The cat blabbed.
But don't worry... You'll love being alone.
Filling your days with romance novels
lean cuisines, Internet chat rooms...
[ Voice cracking]: Oh, god! I'm going to be just like you.
[ Blubbering]
Oh, hilda, we've made her cry.
Oh, how awful we must feel.
Let's go.
You know, I really had a good time.
Me too.
Me three.
I told you, family gatherings were fun.
It's still better to be a divorcee
than a spinster, right?
Ugh... stuff it!
Mommy, I'm hungry.
I want a hamburger.
Not now, dear.
This is not a good time.
But I want it now! Now!
Now! Now!
I think somebody needs a time-out.
You'll be sorry.
I'm telling daddy where you hid the silver.
Oh, really?
Whoa!
What happened to Harvey's party?
I decided to stay and read some of granny's letters.
Are you nuts?
You can't leave a double running around.
Oh, I forgot.
I got to change.
Wait. I'm a witch.
Now I've got your clothes.
I'll wait for you on the other side.
Count of ten.
Libby: Ten, nine, eight...
Seven, six...
Oops. I'm already here.
Four, three, two...
One.
Hey, what's everyone looking at?
Sabrina's going to streak.
There she is!
[ All shouting]
I can't believe Sabrina did that.
I didn't.
That wasn't me.
Sabrina, you're here.
Yeah. Where else would I be?
I knew Libby couldn't make you streak.
But then who was that?
Uh, I don't... see Libby anywhere.
Guess it must have been her.
That was Libby?!
Hey, everybody, that was Libby streaking.
[ All laughing]
Wasn't that fun?
[ All shouting approval]
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
How'd you get in here so quick?
What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time.
I just gave you your clothes outside.
Oh, give it up. We all know you're the one who streaked.
I did not!
Yes, you did.
We saw your butt.
[ Howling laugh]
That was not me!
You are all so immature.
[ All laughing]
Well, my aunts were right.
Halloween is a magical night.
I blew up at you before
but could you stay late and help me clean up?
I'd love to.
I mean, i'd... i'd really enjoy that.
But first I got to get some fresh air.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Those expiration dates are a lot more precise than you think.
Sabrina?
Hey, look at you.
You put your dress on backwards.
Man, I'm a mess.
Come on, let's get it together.
[ Sighs]
Great. Everything is back to normal.
That is so true.
Weird.
Hi. I'd like to take half a minute
to talk to you about
the true meaning of Halloween.
It's not about candy and costumes...
It's about family and showing them how much you care.
So don't buy into the hype
and commercialization of the season.
This Halloween, stay home with your loved ones.
Just gather around the Jack-o'-lantern
and remember, the true meaning
of Halloween is inside you.
Right, Salem?
There's a pound of candy corn
inside me.
Ignore him. Happy Halloween.