1 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:04,034 The cover model, she was so... 2 00:00:04,068 --> 00:00:06,827 I wish I could look like that. 3 00:00:06,862 --> 00:00:08,206 You've never seen her before? 4 00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:19,551 Much better. 5 00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:28,655 Hey. 6 00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:30,172 Love the look. 7 00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:51,724 I'm ready to clean my closet. 8 00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:56,586 Where are you? 9 00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,758 You didn't see me. I was never here. 10 00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,275 Sabrina, have you seen Salem? 11 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,103 Um... no? 12 00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:05,206 Salem: You are the worst liar. 13 00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:06,620 Come on. 14 00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:08,310 No, I won't go! 15 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:10,551 I won't go! I won't go! 16 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:13,137 Oh, is it time for Salem to be wormed again? 17 00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:16,103 Salem: No, worse. I have to do community service. 18 00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:17,275 It's part of his punishment 19 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,275 for attempting global conquest. 20 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,251 As if being a cat for a hundred years wasn't enough 21 00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:23,758 Zelda had to put me in a pets for prisoners program. 22 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,310 I gave you a choice. 23 00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:27,034 You could have done highway cleanup. 24 00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:29,724 Yeah, cats do real well on highways. 25 00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:33,379 Stop complaining and get your wormy little butt downstairs in two minutes. 26 00:01:33,413 --> 00:01:35,206 It's time to pay your debt to society. 27 00:01:35,241 --> 00:01:37,034 Can't I just write a check? 28 00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:38,217 I don't know what your problem is. 29 00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:39,517 It's nice to help people. 30 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:42,241 And what nice things have you done lately? 31 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,448 Me? I do nice things all the time. 32 00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:45,206 Really? 33 00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:47,137 Since you got magical powers 34 00:01:47,172 --> 00:01:49,137 all I've seen you do is change your clothes 35 00:01:49,172 --> 00:01:51,137 and make Brussels sprouts disappear. 36 00:01:51,172 --> 00:01:52,620 That's not true and I'll prove it. 37 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,620 I'll use my magic to do three nice things before the end of school today. 38 00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:56,448 Easy. 39 00:01:56,482 --> 00:01:57,379 Not so easy. 40 00:01:57,413 --> 00:01:59,068 Before you shoot your little finger off 41 00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,137 you better consider the consequences. 42 00:02:01,172 --> 00:02:04,172 Or terrriblethings could happen. 43 00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,275 Hi. My name's Jenny. 44 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:10,700 I'm running for sophomore class president. 45 00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:12,068 I'm with the outsider party. 46 00:02:12,103 --> 00:02:13,689 Hi. My name is Libby. 47 00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:15,620 I'm also running for class president. 48 00:02:15,655 --> 00:02:17,206 But I'm with the popular party. 49 00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,275 A vote for me is a vote for smaller classes 50 00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,827 and more funding for the arts. 51 00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:24,689 A vote for me is a vote for more pizza at lunch. 52 00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,034 I'm voting for her. 53 00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:31,493 She's pretty much killing you with that pizza platform. 54 00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:32,689 I don't get it. 55 00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:35,137 Why doesn't anybody want to support the outsider party? 56 00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,793 Maybe because you named it after their biggest fear? 57 00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,793 Libby thinks being class president 58 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,068 is about lunch food and dances. 59 00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:43,793 Call me idealistic, but I really want 60 00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:45,413 to make this school a better place. 61 00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:46,724 Hey, you got my vote. 62 00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:49,172 Which gives me a grand total of two. 63 00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:50,137 Poor Jenny. 64 00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:51,517 There's nothing like losing 65 00:02:51,551 --> 00:02:54,000 to say, "you're a loser." 66 00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,137 I wish I could win. 67 00:02:58,172 --> 00:03:00,103 I really wanted to make a difference. 68 00:03:11,586 --> 00:03:13,172 That's one nice thing. 69 00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:19,482 Hey, Harvey. 70 00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:20,724 Whoa! What's that smell? 71 00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:23,068 Protein shake. Coach says I need 72 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,379 to bulk up if I ever want to start at running back. 73 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,620 Well, you look fatter. 74 00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:29,000 That's sweet of you. 75 00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:31,551 But you see that guy over there? 76 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,724 That's Randy, the destroyer. 77 00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:35,689 Unless I put on 20 pounds or he gets injured 78 00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,517 I stay on the bench. 79 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,206 Man, I want to play. 80 00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:40,758 You want to go in? 81 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:43,620 Yeah, I'll be there in a sec. 82 00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:44,655 Hey, watch it! 83 00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:48,206 Ow! 84 00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:50,275 My hand! 85 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,344 That's two. 86 00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:55,172 Sorry I'm late, but my car broke down. 87 00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:59,344 I made the mistake of trying to go uphill in my amc gremlin. 88 00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:01,241 Why don't you just get a better car, Mr. Pool? 89 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,344 Like a Ferrari? 90 00:04:02,379 --> 00:04:03,758 Sure, you know what? 91 00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,827 I'm going to run right out and buy one. 92 00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:07,620 And I'll pay for it with... frustration. 93 00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:09,793 Now can we move on to science? 94 00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,734 All right, today we're going to talk about the elements 95 00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:13,724 and why one can't turn lead into gold 96 00:04:13,758 --> 00:04:16,310 no matter how hard one tries. 97 00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:21,793 And radon, the heaviest of the noble gases. 98 00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:22,758 Don't laugh. 99 00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:23,793 [ Bell rings] 100 00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,586 Read chapter four tonight. 101 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:27,517 And take showers. 102 00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:30,034 Especially you. 103 00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,517 Hey, Mr. Pool, are you okay? 104 00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:32,803 You seem especially bitter today. 105 00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:34,655 Me? I'm fine. 106 00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:38,241 What a mess! 107 00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:39,482 It's just a bunch of papers. 108 00:04:39,517 --> 00:04:41,758 No, my life. 109 00:04:41,793 --> 00:04:43,448 I've been a teacher seven years 110 00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:45,724 and I still can't afford a new briefcase. 111 00:04:45,758 --> 00:04:47,241 I foundthis one. 112 00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,586 I was wondering who t.G.K. Was. 113 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:50,758 Just to pay my bills 114 00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,310 I have to work cafeteria duty 115 00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:54,172 I have to supervise the science club 116 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,620 and on weekends 117 00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:59,689 I... wash principal larue's car. 118 00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:01,665 Well, maybe you should consider doing something else. 119 00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,448 Like what? I love teaching science. 120 00:05:03,482 --> 00:05:06,103 It's the only good thing in my life. 121 00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,344 Well, you have a lot of coupons. 122 00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:10,034 Thanks. 123 00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:12,827 Oh, this one for 40 cents off fruitkooks has expired. 124 00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:15,482 No! 125 00:05:15,517 --> 00:05:17,827 Ah, who are they fooling, anyway? 126 00:05:17,862 --> 00:05:19,424 You can no more sweeten a cookie with fruit 127 00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:21,344 than you can turn lead into gold. 128 00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,034 Or can you? 129 00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:28,344 Wait a minute. 130 00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:30,448 Why didn't I think of this before? 131 00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,379 Lead is pb... 132 00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,827 Mercury with... 133 00:05:34,862 --> 00:05:37,655 Thanks for helping me pick up my stuff, Sabrina. 134 00:05:37,689 --> 00:05:39,137 Now get out. I'm onto something. 135 00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,689 Yes! Yes! 136 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:48,172 This would turn lead into gold! 137 00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:51,103 But that's alchemy and it defies the laws of physics. 138 00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:52,493 Ah, who cares? I'm going to be rich! 139 00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:53,517 Whoo! 140 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,448 That's three nice things. 141 00:05:58,482 --> 00:06:00,068 [ Violin playing off-key] 142 00:06:04,241 --> 00:06:05,758 That was very good, Jeffrey. 143 00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,551 But your e-string needs tuning. 144 00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:08,586 I'll be right back. 145 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,517 This one's for Mozart. 146 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,551 Hey, guys. 147 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,241 Oh, I see Jeffrey's here. 148 00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:23,068 Yep. Mozart started spinning in his grave 149 00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:24,413 about ten minutes ago. 150 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:27,586 Oh, please, let the poor man rest in peace. 151 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,000 I don't get it, aunt hilda. 152 00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:31,389 Why don't you just use your magic to make Jeffrey play better? 153 00:06:31,413 --> 00:06:33,620 Wouldn't that be a nice thing for him and for us? 154 00:06:33,655 --> 00:06:35,344 Yes, but I would never do that. 155 00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,034 That's right. You must be careful 156 00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,620 about meddling in mortals' lives. 157 00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:39,620 We witches have rules. 158 00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:41,206 Who cares about the rules? 159 00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:44,241 I just want Jeffrey to keep paying for lessons. 160 00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,517 Well, I've got to get back. 161 00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:47,724 Must you? 162 00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:52,206 [ Plucks note] 163 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,310 Perfect. 164 00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:56,379 Like it matters. 165 00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:57,700 Aunt hilda, I'm still a little confused 166 00:06:57,724 --> 00:06:59,034 about this meddling thing. 167 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,586 Why is it you can't you use magic to make someone's life better? 168 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,827 Because it's impossible to know what would make a mortal happy. 169 00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:07,103 What if you knew exactly what would make them happy? 170 00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:09,310 You still can't predict the consequences. 171 00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:11,241 But wouldn't those consequences just be good? 172 00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:14,379 Well, in some cases the consequences might be good 173 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,517 but then again 174 00:07:16,551 --> 00:07:19,793 terrriblethings could happen. 175 00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:23,310 Hey. 176 00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:24,827 Any word on the election? 177 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,517 Not officially, but this came out. 178 00:07:29,413 --> 00:07:30,562 How can they print that Libby's won 179 00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:32,344 when the results haven't been announced yet? 180 00:07:32,379 --> 00:07:33,827 It's a weekly, Sabrina. 181 00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:35,172 They usually just go on a hunch. 182 00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,137 Yeah, well, I have a hunch too. 183 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,310 Attention students, this is principal larue. 184 00:07:39,344 --> 00:07:43,241 I have in my hands the results of a grand experiment called democracy. 185 00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,068 Just say it. 186 00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:45,320 For president of the freshman class 187 00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,551 the winner is Andy gallop. 188 00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:50,448 For president of the sophomore class, the winner is... 189 00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:51,310 Libby chessler. 190 00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:52,517 Jennifer Kelly. 191 00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:55,103 [ Shrieks] 192 00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,413 Can you believe I won? 193 00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,172 Yes, I can. 194 00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,646 How about a picture for the yearbook? 195 00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:04,586 Hey, congratulations, Jenny. 196 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:05,758 I'm really glad you won. 197 00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:09,034 It's because people like you voted for me and not pizza. 198 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:10,758 Uh, right. 199 00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:12,586 I'm having a great day too. 200 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:15,482 Coach just told me I'm starting at running back tomorrow. 201 00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,079 That's great. That's what you wanted, right, Harvey? 202 00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:18,275 Absolutely. 203 00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,562 You guys going to come watch me play? 204 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,724 Sure. Cool. 205 00:08:20,758 --> 00:08:22,448 Cool. 206 00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,655 Don't be late, 'cause, you know, I'm starting. 207 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,172 Libby, I just wanted to say 208 00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:31,551 that I think you handled your defeat very gracefully. 209 00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:32,655 Oh, bite me. 210 00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,551 Sorry, I'm late 211 00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:39,068 but I was out buying a new car. 212 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,758 A Ferrari, since you asked. 213 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,482 Yes, thanks to the miracle 214 00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:45,103 of science and an educated brain 215 00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:48,413 I now have one... Wicked set of wheels. 216 00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:50,206 Okay, whoever can explain 217 00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:52,482 the krebs cycle gets a lump of gold. 218 00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:55,551 Isn't learning fun? 219 00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:56,482 Salem, you're back. 220 00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:57,586 How was jail? 221 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,482 Not bad. 222 00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:00,241 There's a guy in solitary convinced 223 00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:03,103 Alan Dershowitz appeared to him as a talking cat. 224 00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:04,286 I told him I'd call the governor 225 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,241 and plead his innocence. 226 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,103 See? I told you it was nice to help people. 227 00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:09,793 Are you kidding? I'm not calling. 228 00:09:09,827 --> 00:09:11,586 Calling who? About what? 229 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,034 Are we getting pizza? 230 00:09:13,068 --> 00:09:14,551 No. I was just going to tell Salem 231 00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:17,137 about the nice things I did today. 232 00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:18,241 But I'm not interested. 233 00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:19,655 I'm interested. 234 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,448 Tell me. 235 00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:22,689 Oh, but wait. 236 00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:27,310 Okay, start. 237 00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:30,206 I wanted to use magic more to help my friends 238 00:09:30,241 --> 00:09:31,562 so I made a few adjustments in their lives... 239 00:09:31,586 --> 00:09:32,724 Hold on. 240 00:09:32,758 --> 00:09:35,206 Didn't Zelda tell you there are rules against meddling? 241 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,379 And terrriblethings could happen? 242 00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:38,172 Not again. 243 00:09:38,206 --> 00:09:39,551 Look, everyone's happy. 244 00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:41,172 Everything's working out great, okay? 245 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,103 There's nothing terrribleabout it. 246 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,379 This is terrriblepizza. 247 00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:54,620 And a fair catch is called by the fighting scallions. 248 00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,620 Wow. Great view. 249 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,103 This is so cool 250 00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,103 hanging out in the president's section 251 00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:00,413 watching Harvey start. 252 00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:02,379 Oh, look, there's Mr. Pool. 253 00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,724 Wow. Who's the blonde? 254 00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:06,620 I think she came with the Ferrari. 255 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:09,241 No, wait, she's with the guy next to him. 256 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,344 The fighting scallions break from the huddle. 257 00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:13,413 Harvey kinkle is the lone setback. 258 00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,241 There's Harvey. 259 00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:16,310 That's so great that he's out there. 260 00:10:16,344 --> 00:10:17,758 Yeah, thanks... 261 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:19,482 Oh, are you sure that's Harvey? 262 00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:20,758 He looks kind of small. 263 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,344 It's first and ten from the 21. 264 00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,344 And the scallions keep it on the ground. 265 00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:25,458 Kroeger hands off to kinkle... 266 00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:26,689 Harvey's got the ball! 267 00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,517 And he is pummeled! 268 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:30,241 Oh, the humanity! 269 00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:33,241 That guy had no business being out there. 270 00:10:33,275 --> 00:10:35,034 Oh, this is a terrible thing. 271 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,275 [ Siren wailing] 272 00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:42,689 Mmm... ow! 273 00:10:42,724 --> 00:10:43,724 Oh, you poor thing. 274 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,379 It even hurts to chew. 275 00:10:45,413 --> 00:10:48,275 No, it's just hot. 276 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:48,827 Sabrina: I feel so bad 277 00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:49,724 about Harvey. 278 00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,241 I can't believe he sprained his arm. 279 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:52,734 I can't believe that's all he sprained. 280 00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:53,827 Can we change the subject? 281 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,758 Let's talk about you being president. 282 00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:59,103 All right. I have my big meeting with principal larue this afternoon. 283 00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:02,068 Hey, Jenny tell larue to do something about this meatloaf. 284 00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,000 Meatloaf? 285 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,413 Hey, man, what about intellectual freedom? 286 00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:06,793 I'd better go. 287 00:11:06,827 --> 00:11:08,241 I'll see you at the slicery? 288 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:09,103 Yeah, we'll get pizza. 289 00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:09,827 Great idea. 290 00:11:09,862 --> 00:11:11,517 This meatloaf really gags. 291 00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,448 Hey, Mr. Pool, smells good. 292 00:11:15,482 --> 00:11:17,344 Linguini with white truffles. 293 00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:19,482 No more artery-clogging sloppy Joes for me. 294 00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,517 Now that I'm rich, I have a reason to live. 295 00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:23,172 So are you happy? 296 00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:24,827 I'll say. 297 00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:25,827 Wealth gives me the freedom 298 00:11:25,862 --> 00:11:27,793 to teach science without anger and resentment. 299 00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:31,103 I can now teach for the pure joy of teaching. 300 00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,827 Ah-ah-ah. Leave the whole block. 301 00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:33,862 Thank you. 302 00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,068 Hey, Harvey. Hi, Libby. 303 00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,620 So... did you make it to the game on Saturday? 304 00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:44,206 Yeah, I saw you start... 305 00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:46,827 And finish. 306 00:11:46,862 --> 00:11:48,724 My dad's got it all on video. 307 00:11:48,758 --> 00:11:50,344 He keeps playing it over and over 308 00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:52,448 saying that I can learn from it. 309 00:11:52,482 --> 00:11:55,172 Let me know if I can do anything to help. 310 00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:56,758 I'm a cheerleader. 311 00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,448 Let me handle this. 312 00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,379 Sure. 313 00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:02,655 I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry 314 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,734 not like a responsible-sorry. 315 00:12:03,758 --> 00:12:04,551 More like 316 00:12:04,586 --> 00:12:05,827 a sympathetic sorry 317 00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:08,413 in a blameless, third-party sort of way. 318 00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:10,448 Feel better. 319 00:12:10,482 --> 00:12:12,482 The principal will see you now. 320 00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:17,206 Please, sit down. 321 00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:19,137 The reason I called this meeting 322 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,068 was to present my five-point program 323 00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:22,448 my contract with westbridge, 324 00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:23,310 if I may. 325 00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:24,413 Proceed. 326 00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,379 The first point focuses on class size. 327 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,137 You have no authority there. 328 00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:28,655 I don't? 329 00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:30,103 No. Next point. 330 00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:32,241 I'm also concerned about arts funding... 331 00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:33,517 You have no authority there. 332 00:12:33,551 --> 00:12:34,413 Textbooks? 333 00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:35,068 No. 334 00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:35,827 Curriculum? 335 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,206 No. Parking. 336 00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:37,655 I don't even have 337 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,275 authority there. 338 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,724 These topics that you raise 339 00:12:40,758 --> 00:12:42,310 are not to be addressed in this room. 340 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,724 They are decided by powerful men 341 00:12:44,758 --> 00:12:47,344 in smoke-filled boardrooms hundreds of miles from here. 342 00:12:47,379 --> 00:12:51,172 It is not yourplace to question their choices. 343 00:12:51,206 --> 00:12:53,724 They know you, Jennifer. 344 00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:55,793 Better than you know yourself. 345 00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:57,655 Let's leave the business of school 346 00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:01,137 to the people whose business isschool. 347 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,344 Student class elections 348 00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:05,586 have always been a popularity contest. 349 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,103 Let's keep it that way. 350 00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:11,137 [ Whirring] 351 00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:16,103 Hey, how did it go? 352 00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:18,655 I'm on my second pitcher of root beer. 353 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,275 Why? What's wrong? 354 00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:22,344 I wish I'd never become president. 355 00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:23,769 You said that's what you wanted though. 356 00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,586 I was so young, so naive. 357 00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,803 I thought I could make a difference. 358 00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:27,793 But you can. 359 00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:28,862 No. 360 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:32,413 You keep your illusions, but it's too late for me. 361 00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:35,241 I've seen how the meatloaf is made. 362 00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:36,586 Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry. 363 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,034 It's a terrible thing. 364 00:13:41,413 --> 00:13:42,551 Hey. 365 00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:43,379 We need to talk. 366 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,853 Not now. I've had a really lousy day. 367 00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:51,034 And apparently, it's not over yet. 368 00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:52,620 This came in the toaster for you. 369 00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,448 It's from drell. 370 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:55,700 The head of the witches' council? 371 00:13:55,724 --> 00:13:56,482 What does he want with me? 372 00:13:56,517 --> 00:13:58,034 We don't know. I wanted to open it. 373 00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,793 Zelda wouldn't let me. 374 00:13:59,827 --> 00:14:02,034 Drell: Report to my office immediately 375 00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:04,103 and bring your aunts with you. 376 00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:08,551 I don't want to go. 377 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,517 Drell scares me. 378 00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:10,665 You guys go first and tell me what he wants. 379 00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:12,793 Hey, I don't want to see drell any more than you do. 380 00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,068 Yeah, sure. 381 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,793 Look, we used to be in love 382 00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,689 but I no longer have any feelings for him. 383 00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,620 How's my hair? 384 00:14:20,655 --> 00:14:22,172 Come on, let's go. 385 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,586 Hilda: Ow, my foot. 386 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:33,310 I don't like this place. 387 00:14:33,344 --> 00:14:36,103 It reminds me of the principal's office. 388 00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:37,586 Drell will see you now. 389 00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:45,551 You look so familiar. 390 00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:46,482 Hello, drell. 391 00:14:46,517 --> 00:14:47,724 What a pleasant surprise. 392 00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:48,724 No, it's not. 393 00:14:48,758 --> 00:14:50,827 I summoned you and you're here. 394 00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:54,206 Hilda... what's with your hair? 395 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,586 My new boyfriend likes it this way. 396 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,620 Oh, your new boyfriend. 397 00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:58,724 What's his name? 398 00:14:58,758 --> 00:14:59,103 Um... 399 00:14:59,137 --> 00:14:59,827 Well, I hope 400 00:14:59,862 --> 00:15:03,172 you and... "Um" are very happy. 401 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,068 Sabrina, why don't we begin 402 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:06,586 by you explaining to us why we're here. 403 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:07,827 I don't know. 404 00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,482 Stop me if something sounds familiar... 405 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:10,448 "athletic injury 406 00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:11,655 "fixed election 407 00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:13,482 altered immutable laws 408 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:14,482 of physics." 409 00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:16,068 Oh, that. 410 00:15:16,103 --> 00:15:17,344 You didn't! Sabrina! 411 00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:18,586 I was trying to help. 412 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,275 "Help" is a four-letter word 413 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,448 like "dumb" and "move." 414 00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:23,310 Am I right? 415 00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:25,068 First, the people I helped were happy 416 00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:26,620 but now only one is 417 00:15:26,655 --> 00:15:28,379 and he's happy enough for all three. 418 00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:30,275 Now, I should explain to you 419 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,448 that when I say, "am I right?" 420 00:15:32,482 --> 00:15:35,551 It's a rhetorical question because 421 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,551 I'm always right. 422 00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:39,241 Drell, please... 423 00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,758 Sabrina's a good kid. 424 00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:42,172 And things are hard on her. 425 00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:43,586 Her mother's in Peru. 426 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,689 Her father's in a book. 427 00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:46,827 And I'm in the land of "I don't care." 428 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,241 You're her guardians. 429 00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:50,068 You should have warned her 430 00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,482 that if you meddle with people's lives 431 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,724 terrible things could happen. 432 00:15:54,758 --> 00:15:56,620 Well, I did. That's exactly what I said. 433 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:57,931 So did I. 434 00:15:57,965 --> 00:16:00,413 So did Salem, but nobody made it sound like it was a big deal. 435 00:16:00,448 --> 00:16:02,000 Aw, geez. 436 00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:06,310 Marge, get the guys down in ominous warnings 437 00:16:06,344 --> 00:16:10,689 to tweak up the reverb on the word "terrible." 438 00:16:10,724 --> 00:16:13,793 Terrible. 439 00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:17,517 Terrible! 440 00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:19,344 Ooh, that's nice, that's nice. 441 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,068 Thank you, Marge. 442 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:23,758 Now thatwas Marge's mistake. 443 00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:28,206 And now back to yours. 444 00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:30,068 The football injury and class elections 445 00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:31,724 have no global consequences. 446 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,310 You can mess with your pimply, pubescent peers all you want. 447 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,586 Alchemy, however 448 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,620 could collapse the world economy 449 00:16:38,655 --> 00:16:42,034 and wreak havoc on myt-bills! 450 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,379 Are you going to fix this 451 00:16:43,413 --> 00:16:48,137 or should I give Salem a little blonde kitty friend? 452 00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:49,448 No, I can fix it. 453 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:51,103 I just have to erase the knowledge. 454 00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:52,417 I don't have to destroy Mr. Pool. 455 00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:53,413 You got a day. 456 00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:54,517 That's 23 hours 457 00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:55,448 to solve the problem 458 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,827 and one hour to shop for a scratching post. 459 00:16:58,862 --> 00:16:59,655 [ Laughs] 460 00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:00,551 You're done. Go. 461 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,689 Get out of here. 462 00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:05,413 Um, except you, hilda. 463 00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:06,344 Why don't you, uh... 464 00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:07,379 Stay a moment. 465 00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,241 That's it. 466 00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:13,344 I am never going to help anyone ever again. 467 00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:15,275 He's just trying to scare me, right? 468 00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,172 Oh, look. 469 00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:17,379 Marge's teeth. 470 00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:19,034 I've got to go find Mr. Pool. 471 00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:20,379 Let's go. 472 00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,586 What was that all about? 473 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,620 Oh, he asked me out. 474 00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:25,448 I turned him down. 475 00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:27,827 Sabrina, now you only have 16 hours. 476 00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,137 Sorry. 477 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,413 Excuse me, is Mr. Pool in there? 478 00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:33,206 You mean the guy who thinks 479 00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:34,758 he's too good to wash my car now? 480 00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:36,793 No, I haven't seen him. 481 00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:39,206 [ Whistling] Mr. Pool, there you are. 482 00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:40,620 I am so happy to see you. 483 00:17:40,655 --> 00:17:41,344 I'm happy to see you, too 484 00:17:41,379 --> 00:17:43,068 my little coupon picker-upper. 485 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,172 Come on, walk me to class. 486 00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:46,310 Hey, look what I just got. 487 00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:48,034 It's a digital personal assistant. 488 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,068 Watch this. 489 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,379 I just sent myself a fax. 490 00:17:51,413 --> 00:17:53,310 I know you're really happy with your money 491 00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,310 but, easy come, easy go. 492 00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:57,344 Oh! Did I tell you? I'm funding a Grant. 493 00:17:57,379 --> 00:18:00,482 It's called "the Eugene pool award for burnt-out teachers." 494 00:18:00,517 --> 00:18:02,758 The healing begins now. 495 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,413 That's a beautiful dream. 496 00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,689 Oh, man! I just wish 497 00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:07,724 everybody could be as happy as I am. 498 00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:08,620 Mr. Pool? 499 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,655 Hmm? 500 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,655 Just enjoy the next 40 minutes. 501 00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:14,137 Of course, it's time for science. 502 00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:17,769 Aerobic respiration is correct. 503 00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,068 Well done, Timmy. 504 00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,689 Here you go 505 00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,137 and remember, everyone 506 00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:24,769 you should learn for the sake of learning 507 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,241 and not just for gold. 508 00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:27,793 Well, that's my last lump for now. 509 00:18:27,827 --> 00:18:30,103 I'll make more up tonight. 510 00:18:30,137 --> 00:18:33,000 Pool, you've got it wired up here. 511 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,655 No... no! 512 00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:38,827 It's gone! 513 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:40,172 I lost it! 514 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,137 I never wrote it down! 515 00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:44,586 Oh, this is a terrible thing! 516 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,517 [ Sobbing] 517 00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:49,034 Hi, Sabrina. 518 00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,103 You look bummed. 519 00:18:50,137 --> 00:18:51,241 Like everyone else. 520 00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,620 I'm not. I made my peace 521 00:18:52,655 --> 00:18:54,310 with the universal meatloaf. 522 00:18:54,344 --> 00:18:54,689 Really? 523 00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,172 Yeah. Watch. 524 00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:59,068 Can I have your attention? 525 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,803 I just wanted to say that I ran for president 526 00:19:00,827 --> 00:19:02,310 because I thought the job 527 00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:05,206 was about more than dances and lunch food. 528 00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:06,379 I was wrong 529 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,793 so I think you'll be better off with Libby. 530 00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:12,241 [ Applause] 531 00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:13,793 I'm in control? 532 00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,517 Yes! 533 00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:21,034 And I am one step closer to the white house. 534 00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:21,827 Nice speech. 535 00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:23,448 So you're happy? 536 00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:24,206 Very. 537 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:25,517 I'd rather be jaded than naive. 538 00:19:25,551 --> 00:19:26,724 Who wouldn't? 539 00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:28,586 Hey, Sabrina, you know how 540 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:30,551 you were feeling sorry for me yesterday? 541 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,379 You mean in that blameless, third-party sort of way? 542 00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,137 You should know that since I've been injured 543 00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,068 I've been having a lot of fun. 544 00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:39,034 I'm reading more, I'm writing more. 545 00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:39,758 I even think 546 00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:41,482 my grades are going to improve. 547 00:19:41,517 --> 00:19:43,631 Wow, so the sitting around thing is really working for you? 548 00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:46,586 Yeah. I'm super-happy not playing football. 549 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,379 Just don't tell my dad. 550 00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:49,551 Okay. 551 00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:51,689 "A" equals "a." 552 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,379 Of course "a" equals "a." It's obvious. 553 00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:55,482 It doesn't need to be stated. 554 00:19:55,517 --> 00:19:56,413 Mr. Pool? 555 00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:57,206 What?! 556 00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:58,344 Oh, it's you. 557 00:19:58,379 --> 00:19:59,275 Do you have a minute? 558 00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:00,137 Yes... 559 00:20:00,172 --> 00:20:01,000 A lifetime of them 560 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,793 and now, they're going by very slowly. 561 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:04,793 I was just thinking 562 00:20:04,827 --> 00:20:07,275 that Jenny's happier not being class president 563 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,217 and Harvey's happier not starting on the football team 564 00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,068 and, well, it made me think that maybe 565 00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,034 you'll be happier not being rich. 566 00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:15,034 Hmm... happier not being rich. 567 00:20:16,379 --> 00:20:17,689 Are you nuts?! 568 00:20:17,724 --> 00:20:19,793 Being rich is everything I ever dreamed of 569 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:23,344 and now it's gone, it's all gone. 570 00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:24,172 [ Sighing] 571 00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,103 Not again. 572 00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,689 Sabrina, could you help me? 573 00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:30,068 Sorry, Mr. Pool. 574 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,103 I'm not supposed to help anyone 575 00:20:32,137 --> 00:20:33,172 but... 576 00:20:33,206 --> 00:20:36,310 I guess one last time won't hurt. 577 00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:39,689 Oh, why couldn't somebody just destroy me? 578 00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:42,448 It can't be that bad, and I have a feeling 579 00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:44,275 things will get better real soon 580 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,206 and who knows? Maybe you'll find 581 00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:47,482 a new briefcase. 582 00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:48,517 Yeah, right. 583 00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:08,275 [ Whistling] 584 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:13,068 Steve! Uh, sir? 585 00:21:13,103 --> 00:21:13,758 What is it, pool? 586 00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:16,482 I was wondering if I came by 587 00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,793 on Saturday, maybe I could... 588 00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,827 Wash your car? 589 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:24,827 So... Mr. Rockefeller wants to wash my car. 590 00:21:24,862 --> 00:21:25,941 You know, the only problem is 591 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:28,068 I found a 15-year-old to do it two bucks cheaper. 592 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:29,137 I can beat that! 593 00:21:29,172 --> 00:21:30,803 I'm having a "back in the same old rut" special. 594 00:21:30,827 --> 00:21:32,620 [ Clears throat] 595 00:21:32,655 --> 00:21:33,931 I guess I'll see you Saturday. 596 00:21:33,965 --> 00:21:39,034 Uh great... and uh, by the way that's a beautiful briefcase!