I need a piece of sky with smoke
and a slightly bulbous doohickey.
Here you go.
You know, it's funny.
When you live 1,000 years
Jigsaw puzzles don't seem like
such a waste of time.
Hey, I'm home.
Wow! You guys haven't moved
since I left this morning.
Hi, Sabrina. How was school?
Great. Libby dropped her tray at lunch
for the third day in a row.
I'm getting really good at that.
Hilda: Yes!
Now you can read hindenberg.
There's nothing in the freezer.
We're all out of ice cream.
Aren't you forgetting something?
I know.
I'm not supposed to eat sweets before dinner.
No. We're witches.
Dig in.
Cool. You want some?
Of course.
And you shouldn't eat sweets
before dinner.
I've got to get better at this magic.
Rollerblades.
Why can't I find a spell for rollerblades?
Salem, help me.
It's like you don't care.
Oh, I care.
I care deeply about your... What was it?
Rollerblades?
Did you check under "sporting goods"?
Oh! Sporting events.
"To win, lose or tie."
Huh! That's all you have to do to influence the game?
Easy.
Hey don't mess with that
unless you give me time to call my bookie.
Here we go. "Sporting goods."
They have in-line skates.
Okay, I need an old shoe box.
A gift from a quick-footed animal.
Ow!
That wasn't a gift.
Okay, here goes.
Come on, rollerblades.
Yes! It worked.
I made...
Roller-blahs?
[ Laughing]
Sabrina, you want some breakfast?
No, thanks.
I'll be out rollerblahing.
What's wrong?
Salem: She wanted in-line skates but she wanted a brand name.
You can't do that.
We have strict copyright laws ever since the '70s
when witches way overdid the Gucci.
You can still get decent knock-offs
from the Hong Kong witches.
I don't care about labels.
Rollerblahs aren't the same.
Even the kid on the box isn't having fun.
Then there's only one thing to do.
You'll buy me rollerblades?
No. You'll get a job like the rest of us.
"Baby-sitter needed... Triplets."
It's been up there for years.
Oh, here's one... "earn money watching TV."
Hey, that was mine!
You've got to be more aggressive
in this job market.
Oh, here's another baby-sitting job
and just one kid.
I'm responsible, and I love children.
I even wasone.
Can you start tonight?
Tonight, uh, I guess I could.
Not so fast.
You're going to fall down, honey.
This is really great, I appreciate this.
My husband and I never get out.
Oh, I really should get to class.
Wait! Don't go! Please!
I need adult conversation.
What's happening in the world?
Look, I'll see you tonight
and in the meantime, you can watch mtv news.
Now, cells reproduce by mitosis.
Thank you for joining us, miss spellman.
I'm just about to tell the class what mitosis is.
Do you know?
It's a... science thing?
Listen closely.
You just might learn something.
Mitosis is...
A process...
And there you have it
in a... zygote.
[ Laughs]
All right, uh, since we covered so much material today
I'm gonna move the test up till tomorrow.
Have fun studying.
Mr. Pool, tonight's game four of the world series.
No? Really?
Well, since I'll be stuck here
hosting parents' night
I guess we'll all be missing the series.
Vindictive? Perhaps.
But it's what gets me through the day.
Hey, Sabrina.
My hand kind of cramped up after "mitosis is"
so I was wondering if maybe we could
get together and study tonight?
You and me?
That's what "we" means.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, wait. I can't.
I'm baby-sitting tonight
but I bet you could come over.
They're desperate.
So... cool?
Yeah, cool.
Cool.
Hilda, hurry up.
We've got to go.
I still don't understand
why I can't go to parents' night with you.
Because, Salem, it's weird enough
that we're two sisters who live together in an old victorian house.
If we show up with a cat
we cross the line into looneyville.
Zelda, feel my head.
I think I have a fever.
I can't go to school.
It's just parents' night.
But I hate school.
My stomach hurts.
Oh, grow up
and don't try making it snow.
Hey, it just started snowing.
It's really coming down.
Hilda...
Okay, okay.
It stopped. There.
No one was hurt.
[ Tires screeching]
Well, I'm off to my job.
You're all dressed up.
I wanted to make a good impression
on the baby...
And Harvey's going to be there.
Oh...
Don't oh. We have a study date.
Uh-huh.
Don't uh-huh. We have a test.
Mm-hmm.
Don't you start.
Look, it's no big deal.
Harvey could have asked anyone to study with him.
Of course, he did ask me.
Got to go.
[ Groans]
His bah bahs are in the fridge.
Fridge, bah bah... got it.
I'm so sorry, there's not much for you
and your friend Harvey to snack on.
I'm sure I'll be able to whip something up.
Let's go!
Now, if he gets fussy or anything
just try reading him goodnight, moonand also
you'll always get a big smile out of him
if you call him Rudy kazootie
or, more formally, Mr. Kazootie.
Honey.
Okay, there's his baby monitor.
And here are his tookies.
See why we have to get out?
Now, we won't be late. You call if you need anything.
Right.
I guess you'll need this.
So, Mr. Kazootie, what should we play first?
Crazy eights?
Hi. You found it.
Yep. You should have said it was the house
with the flying duck on the mailbox.
You really notice mailboxes, don't you?
Yeah.
So, how's the baby-sitting?
Excellent, the baby's asleep, so it's just the two of us.
Not that I planned it that way.
The baby was really tired, so...
Hey, look, they've got a TV.
I bet the world series would look great on that
but I came here to study.
Right, so...
Let's study.
Except my notes aren't very good.
Well, we can work off my notes.
Okay.
"Mitosis is..." You know, studying makes me hungry.
Yeah, me too. I'll go see what I can dig up.
I found all kinds of great stuff.
It's not brand name
but I'm sure it tastes fine.
"Shmickers"?
"N & ns."
"Butterthumb"?
Where do these people shop?
I don't know, but if you're thirsty
there's popsi.
Did they have Yoo-hoo?
No, but they have
"hey, over here."
I think I'll have a diet popsi.
So, should we get back to studying?
Yeah.
"Mitosis is..."
[ Rudy whimpering]
The baby needs me.
Be right back.
[ Whimpering]
Rudy, it's okay.
Look, your favorite book...
Good night, moon.
"Hello, moon.
Good night, moon."
That was a good book, huh?
Come on, Rudy, be a pal.
Harvey and I have a study date.
Don't "ooh" or "uh-huh."
I do sort of think he's cute
and I don't know why I'm telling you.
Enjoy your book.
Commentator: And another quiet inning comes to an end.
The baby's fine.
I was just checking the score.
You're really into baseball, huh?
Yeah, but sports aren't my only interest.
I don't tell a lot of people this
but someday, I want to be a dentist.
A dentist? That's great.
Who doesn't love the dentist?
And I've noticed you have good teeth.
I do?
Yeah, but that's not a professional opinion.
It's just me.
[ Baby whimpering]
Oh, excuse me.
I've got to go to work.
Oh, it's okay, Mr. Kazootie.
Come here. Don't be sad.
Come here.
Big boys don't cry.
Come on, be a big boy.
Be a big boy.
That's better.
We go to the bottom of the ninth and a yawner.
Somebody do something.
Well, the baby's got his bottle now.
Shall we get back to "mitosis is"?
Yeah, right.
I mean, the test is tomorrow.
I really got to focus.
"Mitosis is..."
What was that?
Better go check the baby.
I'm coming, Rudy.
What happened?
Oh, my god!
Rudy, is that you?
Ba-ba.
Oh, Mr. Kazootie.
What have I done?
I'm in so much trouble.
I broke the baby.
Bah-bah.
We have to undo this, ok.
Presto change-o, go back to normal.
Bah-bah.
Go back to normal!
Bah-bah.
Oh, not even close.
Here's your bah-bah.
This is so creepy.
We've got to get help.
Bankie?
You keep your bankie
till after we get you dressed.
Sabrina, you need some help?
Nope. Everything's fine.
Why don't you, uh, watch the game?
It's one strike from the end.
Unless this guy knocks one out, it's over.
Hey, look!
It's a home run!
Unbelievable...
Folks, we're going into extra innings.
You could help a little.
Nose.
Ow. That's not helping.
Okay, there.
Now just don't spit up
on your dad's suit jacket, okay? Go!
Up... up.
You've got to be kidding?
[ Phone rings]
Got to get the phone.
Did she answer yet?
Am I talking?
Oh, hi, Sabrina. Yeah, it's Jerry, Rudy's dad.
Is he okay? Ask her if he's okay.
I know what to ask.
Is he okay?
Yeah, Rudy's having a real good time.
He's riding his banana right now.
How's your dinner?
They were late in seating us.
Really?
But since we got a table
they've been rushing the heck out of us.
Don't let them. You're there to relax.
Take all the time you want.
Wow! That's very sweet of you, Sabrina.
Well, we were just checking in
so we'll see you soon.
Hmm?
Okay, not too soon.
Right. Bye.
See? Everything's fine.
I'm sorry.
It's just been such a weird day.
You almost went off the road in that freak snowstorm
and now, I just have the funniest feeling.
Stop with the feelings.
Harvey, i'm, uh, going to walk the baby.
You stay here and watch the game, okay?
Okay, but it's almost over.
Only a grand slam would tie it.
He got a hold of that one!
It's up... it's hanging there...
It could be...
It might be...
It's a grand slam!
All right!
There's magic in the air!
Welcome, parents.
I'm... Mr. Pool.
You may look at me... A man in his prime...
And wonder why is he teaching high school biology.
Well, it's because I believe
that science is the foundation upon which we build our future.
That and I tanked my mcats.
Mr. Pool is cute.
You have got to get out more.
I wonder if he's single.
Excuse me. Is there something
you'd like to share with the rest of the class.
I need to go to the nurse.
Is there a problem... Mrs. Spellman?
Yes, my tummy...
No, she's fine...
And it's miss spellman.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm also miss spellman.
We're Sabrina's aunts.
Sisters... not an alternative couple.
So you're, uh... single?
Yes.
And you?
Extremely.
Now I really am going to throw up.
Okay, just sit here.
Okay.
Here. You can read your book.
Or just chew on it.
Yes! Yes!
Salem, what are you doing?
Uh... nothing.
It looks like you're playing with a ball of yarn.
I have urges, Sabrina.
Can we deal with your issues later?
I've got a bigger problem.
My yarn...
Okay, now, what do I do about this?
Dear lord. You picked up a guy at the bus station.
No, it's the baby I'm baby-sitting for.
He's 14 months old. Something happened to him.
Do I smell teen witchery?
Salem, you've got to help me.
We've got to change him back before his parents get home and prosecute.
What do you want me to do? I'm a cat.
Go talk to your aunts.
They're at my school. I can't bring him there.
Can you watch him?
I-I suppose.
Thanks. I owe you one.
Horsey! Ride horsey!
Get him off of me!
What an amusing erlenmeyer flask story, Mr. Pool.
Really? I've told it a thousand times.
No one's ever gotten it.
Fools.
You know
we should exchange e-mail.
What's your address?
Me? I'm on quick net.
My screen name is... biostud.
You're biostud? I'm chemkitten!
Didn't we meet in a chat room and discuss polyvinyl chloride?
Yes.
And you are very naughty.
Well...
L-o-
s-e-r...
Loser.
Hey, Sabrina.
Sabrina? What are you doing at parents' night?
Nothing, I just...
I see you brought your father.
Moo...
Oh, don't play with that...
Dad.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Spellman.
Uh, Mr. Spellman...
Actually, you know, he likes to be called "Mr. Kazootie."
Mr. Kazootie?
Yeah, that's our real name. It's... Scottish.
I'm Scottish too.
I know not of the clan kazootie.
Be you a highlander?
Oh, we're [ Raspberry] lowlanders.
Is your dad okay, Sabrina?
Oh, darn... I got to go work the bake sale.
It's a... prestige thing.
Oh... you do it all, don't you?
Bye-bye.
Yeah, bye-bye.
Yes, uh, bye-bye to all of you.
I thought you were suppose to be baby-sitting.
I am. That's him.
That's the little baby?
Funny clown!
Watch it.
Look, I'm desperate. You guys have to help me.
Rudy's parents are going to be back really soon.
I think they might notice they missed a big moment
in their son's life!
Well, obviously you've cast some kind of spell
so, all you have to do is reverse it.
Well, I didn't me to cast a spell.
This magic ruins everything.
He's supposed to be in his crib sucking his thumb
and I'm supposed
oh... to be studying with Harvey.
Uh-huh.
Stop that! This is serious!
Calm down, Sabrina.
Try to figure out exactly what you did.
I don't know. I don't remember.
Rudy was crying. I picked him up.
I said "big boys don't cry" and I rubbed his back.
Did you say anything else?
I don't think so.
Be a big boy.
He's right. I said, "be a big boy."
And I bet you said it three times.
Ah, mystery solved.
You cast a passion spell.
Passion spell, what's that?
If you want something enough
and you say it three times, it might just happen.
We like to call it a "Travis."
Why?
Randy Travis. Randy Travis.
I love this spell.
Wh-what am I doing here?
We were illustrating a point for our niece.
I hope we haven't caught you at a bad time.
No, but my wife does wonder where I keep popping off to, though.
Will there be anything else?
Maybe later.
If you need me...
You'll know where to find me.
You always do.
[ Sexy growl]
Now, he is so cute!
I love his new album.
Can we get back to me? What do I do to fix this?
Exactly what you did before...
Three times, but in reverse.
This is really weird.
Boy big a be. Boy big a be. Boy big a be.
[ Giggling]: It tickles.
Nothing happened. It didn't work.
It just takes time.
His parents are going to be home soon.
Hilda: You better hope they have a sense of humor.
Maybe I can blame it on a radioactive spider.
Lets' go Rudy.
Rudy?
Where's the baby?!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la...
It's on the house, Mr. Travis.
Thank you.
Does it have nuts?
Yes, but you can pick them out.
Tookies!
Hey-hey-hey!
You can't do that.
Mine.
Mr. Kazootie!
You can see why I changed my name.
It's the bottom of the 15th.
Put on a pot of java.
We could be here all night.
Sabrina, is that you?
Yeah.
You are missing a freaky game.
You've had a big night
now let's go over what I taught you.
Rudy, how did you get this way?
Good.
Okay, now it's sleepy time.
Wead me. Moon.
I'm too tired.
Play with your toes.
Good night.
I could sure use a popsi.
Is the game still on?
Yeah.
Man, it could go on forever.
And it's an unassisted triple play!
It's over!
Wow.
See, now, that's what's so great about baseball.
Anything can happen.
Yeah, yeah, you never know.
We really should study now.
Okay.
Mitosis is...
Can we take a break. I'm wiped.
Baby-sitting is a lot harder than I thought.
Sure.
I mean, we could just sit here and talk.
I'd like that.
This is kind of nice.
Yeah.
So...
We're home. Mitosis is...
I didn't expect you so soon.
We skipped dessert. I missed my baby so much.
How much do we owe you? Four dollars an hour?
Uh, actually, it's five... Four would be fine.
Carol: Jerry, you've got to come see this!
Uh, thanks. Got to go.
Look at our sweet little angel.
They grow so quickly, don't they?
Oh, yeah.
Do you ever think about having another?
No.
We should go now.
I'm looking for a slanty green piece
with a funny little waddle.
Here you go.
Thank you.
You really have a flair for Jigsaw puzzles, Randy.
I spend a lot of time on a bus.
This is kind of nice, though...
Popcorn, puzzle, lightly falling snow.
It's real nice.
Can I go yet?
No. No.
Okay.
Looking for a sky blue rhombus
with a little puff of clouds.
Oh, there it is.
Mitosis is...
Salem, I can't concentrate.
You want to play risk?
I'm sick of risk.
Hey, I've got a great idea.
Salem, I think I hear the can opener.
Really?
Please be tuna! Please be tuna!
Eddie cibrian. Eddie cibrian. Eddie cibrian.
Uh... what am I doing here?
I was just about to pull Hasselhoff
out of a burning corvette.
Oh, well, you can do that later.
Uh... I was just kind of wondering
if you would... Turn around for me.
Sure.
Thanks.
Is that it?
Yeah. Unless you're into Jigsaw puzzles.
My aunts are working on one downstairs with Randy Travis.
Hmm... sounds like fun.
Well, guess Hasselhoff will have to wait.
Wow...
This magic thing isn't so bad.
Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt.
You have the test.
You may commence failing.
Mitosis is...
Great game, huh, Harvey?
Yeah, wasn't it freaky?
Freaky? You want freaky?
Randy Travis came to parents' night.
Have you met Sabrina's father?
He's pretty freaky too.
Get back to your test there.
Mitosis is...