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Dexter:
After countless experiments,
2
00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:08,863
no enhanced abilities,
3
00:00:08,896 --> 00:00:11,061
no physical
mutations,
4
00:00:11,091 --> 00:00:12,827
no nothing!
5
00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:15,029
It seems you
shall never become
6
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anything more
than a mere monkey.
7
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Monkey, this is
agent honey q.
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Help us.
9
00:00:42,103 --> 00:00:46,004
Man: Yes, justice friends,
I have total confidence
10
00:00:46,044 --> 00:00:47,920
that victory
shall be ours.
11
00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:49,922
So, everyone take
5 minutes, powder,
12
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and assemble
at the quad jet in--huh?
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00:00:52,912 --> 00:00:54,758
Huh?
What?
14
00:00:54,791 --> 00:00:55,739
[Sirens]
15
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Smash bad guys!
16
00:00:57,934 --> 00:00:59,171
Huh?
17
00:01:06,764 --> 00:01:09,727
Say, what's
going on here?
18
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Where are we?
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Who dares kidnap
the likes of we?
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[Eek]
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00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,007
Silence,
earthlings!
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I, probodor,
have brought you here
23
00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:21,822
aboard the cosmic colosseum
vessel, the shipodrome.
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00:01:21,862 --> 00:01:24,087
You are to be guests
of my master, so bow--
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00:01:24,124 --> 00:01:25,720
bow down before
your gracious host,
26
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,859
the spirit of competition,
the embodiment of victory,
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00:01:27,898 --> 00:01:32,688
the eternal champion...
Rasslor!
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00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:33,889
Welcome,
heroes of earth.
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00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:37,989
You have been chosen to receive
the most glorious of gifts:
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The opportunity to face me,
the great rasslor,
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00:01:41,883 --> 00:01:45,625
in a contest
of strength and skill.
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00:01:45,658 --> 00:01:48,731
For eons, I have scoured
the cosmos,
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00:01:48,768 --> 00:01:50,613
searching for the one adversary
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00:01:50,646 --> 00:01:52,991
who could provide me
with suitable sport.
35
00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:56,916
But lo, I have yet to find
such a noble foe.
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00:01:56,949 --> 00:02:01,977
Each creature, each race
more pitiful than the last,
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00:02:02,004 --> 00:02:05,846
so I spare them the disgrace
of their weakness
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by destroying
their worlds.
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00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:11,702
And now my quest has
brought me
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00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,857
to this timid little planet
you call earth.
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00:02:13,893 --> 00:02:18,513
So, terrestrial heroes,
can one of you quench my thirst
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00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:21,682
for the divine conflict,
the supreme struggle,
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00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:26,618
or will your planet be
doomed to the same fate
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00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,843
that has befallen so many?
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00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:30,662
What?
What?
What?
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Fight me,
or I destroy the earth!
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00:02:33,698 --> 00:02:36,801
Now...let the games begin!
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00:02:41,647 --> 00:02:43,592
That's what we're
here to find out.
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00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:45,930
Live from the shipodrome,
I'm Mike mann.
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00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,514
And I'm the fly guy,
probodor.
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00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:49,825
Let's go to the action.
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00:02:49,861 --> 00:02:51,467
In the ring,
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00:02:51,507 --> 00:02:53,483
spawned from
the very essence of
the cosmos itself,
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weighing in
at 6,000 megastones,
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00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:57,707
my boy, the champ,
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00:02:57,743 --> 00:02:59,669
rasslor!
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And in
the opposite corner,
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weighing in
at 400 golden apples,
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00:03:02,898 --> 00:03:06,590
the viking god of rock,
vol holen.
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00:03:06,623 --> 00:03:07,880
[Cheering]
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00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:08,877
Yo, villain man,
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00:03:09,416 --> 00:03:10,843
if 'Tis truly
a thrashing you seek,
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00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,873
then thrash upon a riff
of my mighty ax.
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00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:16,610
Rock on, ye of
flaxen tresses.
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00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:19,802
Probodor: Mike, this
kid needs to turn down
that rock music,
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00:03:19,842 --> 00:03:21,688
get a haircut and a job
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00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:24,795
before he even thinks
about getting in the ring
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00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:26,427
with the champ again.
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00:03:26,461 --> 00:03:26,840
1...2...3.
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00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,470
Mike: Next in the ring,
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00:03:29,504 --> 00:03:32,497
definitely a hometown
favorite, major glory.
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00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:33,797
U.s.a.!
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00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:38,417
So, alien, you dare
step foot on American soil
without a green card?
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00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:41,523
Well, Iam
mister.
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00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,493
Do you really think
you can beat america?
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00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,743
The speed of america?
The strength of america?
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The constitution
of america?
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00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:55,511
Well, here's
my John hancock.
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Major glory,
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you speak boldly,
and your breath
is minty-fresh.
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For this,
I salute you.
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00:04:04,407 --> 00:04:07,440
Man: Enough of this,
rasslor.
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00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,540
You must face I.
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00:04:10,576 --> 00:04:13,300
I am hunter.
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I am me.
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00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:18,688
Sam...ur...ai!
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00:04:19,623 --> 00:04:22,316
I do not like
your kick so high.
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00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:25,452
I do not like it,
Sam...Ur...Ai.
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Next!
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What is this?
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00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,670
Crowd: Monkey! Monkey!
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00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:33,231
Mike: The crowd knows.
Weighing in at 17 pounds,
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00:04:33,258 --> 00:04:36,531
the super-powered
primate, monkey!
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00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,472
Away with this jest!
95
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:39,510
[Crowd booing]
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00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:43,535
Bring me
a challenge!
Bring me sport!
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00:04:47,476 --> 00:04:49,391
[Roar]
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00:04:54,326 --> 00:04:55,454
[Eek eek eek]
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00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:57,227
[Ooh ooh ooh]
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This is ridiculous!
101
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:03,356
Is this the last
opponent this puny
planet can offer me?
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00:05:03,389 --> 00:05:06,263
Sorry, babe.
He's popular
with the kids.
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Yay!
Yay!
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00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:12,152
I will not
soil my hands on
so lowly a creature.
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00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:13,163
What?
106
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,148
Huh?
107
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,136
1...2...
108
00:05:16,176 --> 00:05:17,224
Oh, no,
little beast.
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00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:22,167
You shall
not make a fool
of me this day.
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00:05:23,244 --> 00:05:24,361
[Eeeek]
111
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:27,135
It seems you
leave me no choice.
112
00:05:27,168 --> 00:05:31,398
Probodor: The champ,
applying a devastating
submission hold.
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Uhh.
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Monkey...monkey...
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00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:36,484
Monkey...monkey...
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00:05:36,514 --> 00:05:38,310
Mike: Oh,
but what's this?
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00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:41,186
Unbelievable!
Monkey's pulling free.
118
00:05:41,219 --> 00:05:44,422
It's a takedown,
into a beautiful headlock!
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00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:47,385
You will learn
your lesson, monkey,
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once and for all!
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Again and forever,
I am the champion,
122
00:05:58,397 --> 00:06:00,482
and so it
falls upon me
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00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:05,228
to pass judgment
on your contemptible world.
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00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:09,065
Mike: Wait a minute!
I don't believe it!
125
00:06:09,105 --> 00:06:12,358
Monkey refuses
to stay down!
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00:06:12,398 --> 00:06:16,089
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
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Incredible.
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00:06:18,168 --> 00:06:22,229
I could crush your body,
I could smash your bones,
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00:06:22,259 --> 00:06:25,402
but I could never
break your spirit.
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00:06:25,435 --> 00:06:28,278
You are a marvel,
little monkey.
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Any world that could
spawn one as noble as you
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is truly blessed.
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I spare your earth!
134
00:06:36,393 --> 00:06:40,014
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
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00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,388
[Ooh ooh ooh]
136
00:06:41,914 --> 00:06:43,910
[Eek eek eek]
137
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Oh, yeah!
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00:06:53,055 --> 00:07:01,066
[Parody of music from
2001: A space odyssey
139
00:07:01,103 --> 00:07:02,171
Dexter: Dee Dee!
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Get away from
my planetarium.