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00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,970
I am so excited...
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00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:07,274
to be going back to a
show that has a live audience.
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00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,676
For so many reasons. I think
one of the biggest reasons
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00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,112
I'm excited to be going back
to a show with a live audience
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00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,982
is because then I no longer
have to pretend that there's
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people here that I'm talking to.
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00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,951
(crew laughs)
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00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:21,889
Sometimes, I even
hear laughs in my head.
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00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,457
It's gotten so bad I've heard
that the audience
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00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,726
hears them, as well. That's how
you know your delusions are
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00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,361
super delusional.
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People are like, "Who are you
talking to, Trevor?" It's all
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00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,565
in my head, man. Can't wait
for that to be real people.
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00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,201
-♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from the heart of Times Square
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00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:37,237
in New York City,
the only city in America,
16
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,673
it's The Daily Show.
17
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,110
Tonight: COVID's back, baby.
18
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,679
The war is raging,
19
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,081
and Tiffanie Drayton!
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00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:53,020
This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
21
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,688
Hey, what's going on,
everybody?
22
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,657
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah,
23
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,026
and I'm so excited, because
joining me for today's headlines
24
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,762
is my good friend, Ronny Chieng.
What's going on, Ronny?
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00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,764
-How you doing? -Hey! Trevor,
thanks. Thanks for having me.
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00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,434
I'm excited have a last
show here in this place.
27
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-We're moving.
We're moving to... -Right?
28
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-Studios! And, you know,
-Yeah.
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I'm gonna-I'm gonna miss, I'm
gonna miss this a little bit.
30
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,343
You know? A bit of nostalgia.
I'm gonna, miss the shelf.
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00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:19,580
-Uh, I'm gonna miss..
Uh, this chair. -(giggling)
32
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,349
I am gonna miss performing
jokes awkwardly
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to complete silence.
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But, uh, you know, most of all,
I'm gonna miss you.
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What?
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00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,259
You know, s-some people
would say, you know, that
37
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,694
you're the most
important part of the show.
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00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,362
And I just think it's a shame
that you're not gonna
39
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,930
-come with us to the new...
-What do you, what do you mean?
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00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,198
No, I'm-I'm coming.
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00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,666
Well, you know. (sighs)
You shouldn't have signed
42
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,101
that two-year lease here.
I'm telling you. But...
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00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,836
Wait. No, no, no. I'm coming...
you can't go without me.
44
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,805
-Nah, it's okay. We'll find a
new host. -No, no, no. No, no.
45
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,473
-I'm comi-- -We're fine.
It'll be fine. Let me guess:
46
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,609
-it won't be that Asian guy.
-(crew laughs)
47
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,948
-You know what, Ronny? I'm glad
you're coming with me. -(laughs)
48
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,651
All right, people. Let's jump
straight into today's headlines.
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♪ ♪
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We begin with big news
from Netflix,
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00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,193
the friend who checked on you
most during the pandemic.
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00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,262
Netflix is still
the most popular
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00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,863
streaming TV service
in the world,
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00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,366
but its lead has been
slipping recently.
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00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,169
Major rivals like Disney+
have been gaining steam.
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00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,905
Upstarts like Peacock
have also been getting buzz.
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00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,074
And, of course, there's
Paramount+, which is the best
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00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:24,077
streaming service of all.
They've got Champions League,
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00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,080
They've got Yellowstone,
and they pay me. Ha!
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00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,249
I mean, I can't
think of a better network.
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00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,885
So, with Netflix no longer
bringing in new customers
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00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,087
the way it used to, the service
is looking for ways to
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00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,857
make more money
off of the users it already has.
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00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,226
And one idea Netflix is testing
out
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00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,828
is the exact opposite
of chill.
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00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,264
Sharing your Netflix account
with someone else--
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00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:48,468
or a few someones--
could cost you some money soon.
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00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,671
Netflix says it'll start
charging a fee to
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primary account holders
who share their passwords with
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00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,908
people outside their homes.
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00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,777
They're gonna test this
in three countries,
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00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,479
Chile, Costa Rica and Peru.
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00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,316
And depending how the test goes,
it could be expanded
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00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,517
to other countries.
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00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,385
Netflix says the fee
will allow them to invest
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00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,154
in more shows and more movies.
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00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,691
Uh, also, bottom line here,
it'll boost their profits
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00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,159
and cost you more money.
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00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,696
No. No, no, no.
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00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,297
No, Netflix!
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00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,599
This wasn't the deal.
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00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,701
The deal
was that we get to share
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00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,070
a single account
for our 30 closest friends,
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00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,873
and in return,
you get to keep murdering people
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00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,075
to get material for
your true-crime documentaries.
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00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,543
And, by the way,
you do have to admit,
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00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,445
it's pretty shitty that they're
testing this feature
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00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,115
in Chile, Peru and Costa Rica.
Right?
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00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,750
I mean, those people
just want to watch TV.
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00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,719
They didn't sign up
to be guinea pigs.
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00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,654
Like, this makes me wonder
how many other things
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00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,123
Netflix has tested on them
that we don't even know about.
93
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,825
Yeah, it could be anything.
Could be different shows.
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00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,093
It could be different features.
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00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,561
Like the sound,
the Netflix sound.
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00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,863
We-We're used to it. "Ba-bum."
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00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,865
You find in those countries,
they're testing other ones.
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00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,268
(vocalizes
"Shave and a Haircut")
99
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,970
Or it's just someone screaming.
(screams)
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00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,705
"Welcome to Netflix."
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00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,440
(laughter)
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00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,709
Yeah, man. I don't know
why everyone's always so casual
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00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,045
with these Netflix passwords.
You know, everyone's...
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00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:07,047
What-what happened to ethics
in this country?
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00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,382
-You know?
-Yeah, are we, like, a...
106
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,417
Is this, like, a country
of crooks or something?
107
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,686
We should be... We're paying
for a good service here.
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00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,122
This is a good service.
They make good programs.
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00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,090
This isn't a victimless crime.
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00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:20,360
This isn't a small crime
like-like tax fraud
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00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,363
or arson
or being born a crime in...
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00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,700
-half white, whatever you are
in South Africa. -What?
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00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,070
This is a major intellectual
property issue, man.
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00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,207
Every time you look
at someone's Netflix
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00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,876
that you didn't pay for,
you're taking money away
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00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,513
from smart, capable,
good-looking Netflix executives
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00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,881
who make great decisions,
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00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,450
not to mention comedians
who make a ton of money
119
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,252
saying whatever the (bleep)
they want.
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00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,622
And on a separate note,
my new Netflix comedy special
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00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:49,923
is coming out April 5th.
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00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,792
-Ronny Chieng: Speakeasy.
-(Noah groans)
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00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,227
So, make sure you tune in.
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00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,862
You don't have to watch it.
Just put it on.
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00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,431
The-the views still count
for my contract negotiations.
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00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,600
-Thanks, guys.
-This guy... I thought...
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00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,435
You know, I was supporting you,
and then it turned...
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00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,203
You know what?
All right. Let's move on
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00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,038
to the coronavirus pandemic,
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00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,107
which,
unlike most Netflix shows,
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00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:10,043
has been renewed
for season three.
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00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,646
COVID cases are rising
at an alarming rate in Europe,
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00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,616
drawing renewed attention
to the Omicron subvariant
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00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,052
known as BA.2
or the stealth strain.
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00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:23,156
In the U.K., daily COVID cases
soared over 100,000
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00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,193
marking a jump of 77% in a week.
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00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,461
This comes
right after they dropped
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00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,096
pretty much
all their COVID restrictions.
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00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,732
In recent weeks,
Germany has also continued
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00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,834
to mark
record high daily infections
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00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,670
with more than 250,000
new cases a day.
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00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,705
Meanwhile,
in France, Switzerland,
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00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:39,973
Italy and the Netherlands,
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00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,942
COVID infections
are starting to rise
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00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,545
following a rollback
of coronavirus measures.
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00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,079
NEWSMAN: We're seeing
these cases rise in Europe,
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00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,215
where they essentially have
the same vaccines we've used.
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00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,084
They have the same level
of protection that we have here
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00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,120
both from natural immunity
and from vaccinations,
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00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,521
possibly even higher,
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00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,256
and they're starting to see
these cases.
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00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,525
Could be a harbinger
of what's gonna happen here.
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00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,794
Ah, shit.
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00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,530
A harbinger?
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00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,232
I don't even know
what that word means,
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00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,900
but harbingers are never good.
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00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,368
Yeah, it's never like,
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00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,070
"This dog is heavily pregnant,
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00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:13,707
which could be a harbinger
of more puppies!"
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00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,175
It's always bad shit.
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00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:18,345
A harbinger of more COVID
in Americ... Aw, man.
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00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,347
And-and look, I will say this,
guys. Before you panic,
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00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,449
before you panic, please,
remember, remember,
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00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,384
if most people are vaccinated,
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00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,453
there will be a lot fewer deaths
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00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,822
and hospitalizations
than before.
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00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,257
Even if cases shoot up.
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00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,359
Remember. That's
the most important thing.
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00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:35,162
So we're not necessarily
going back to the bad old days
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00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:38,065
when every day you were scared
that one of your loved ones
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00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,067
might send you
that "Imagine" video.
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00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,236
-(groans softly)
-I mean, I don't know, Trevor.
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00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,171
This-this COVID...
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00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:48,509
This isn't the weak-ass
2020 peacetime COVID.
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00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:52,846
This is the 2022 coming out
of European war COVID.
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00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,648
-Aw, man.
-This is gonna be strong COVID.
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00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,384
This COVID survived, like,
a direct nuclear hit.
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00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,520
-(Noah groans) -It's gonna...
It's gonna come to America.
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00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,755
It's gonna infect everybody.
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00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,423
You know,
it's-it's gonna be tough.
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00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,725
People are gonna get sick
from it.
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00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,460
It's gonna call you the N-word.
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00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,728
-Wait, what? -Right?
It's gonna-- it's gonna look
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00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,463
through your tweets
and find offensive stuff
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00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,797
and get you canceled.
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00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,699
-Wait, wh-what? -I mean,
honestly, I'm reading reports
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00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:16,036
that this spike is gonna be
really bad in a few weeks,
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00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,571
especially on April 5.
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00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,740
So I suggest, on that date,
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00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,875
everyone should stay at home
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00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,045
and maybe do
less dangerous activities
192
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,148
like watch
a Netflix comedy special,
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00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,850
-uh, like mine, um...
-(groans)
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00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,719
-...Ronny Chieng: Speakeasy on
April 5 on Netflix. -You know...
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00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,288
So tune in.
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00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,124
I thought you were worried...
(sighs)
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00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,959
Okay. You know what?
198
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:42,129
Finally, here's a story that's
definitely gonna bring you
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00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,464
a little ray of sunshine
in these dark days.
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00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,732
Because--
let's be honest, people--
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00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,335
all of us are
pretty stressed out right now.
202
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,504
Right? The pandemic
doesn't seem to end.
203
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,841
There's a giant war.
There's mega draughts in Africa.
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00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,475
And just yesterday,
just yesterday,
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00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,145
my dentist told me
that I've been grinding my teeth
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00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,613
while I sleep.
207
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,881
Which just stressed me out
even more,
208
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,250
because how did my dentist
get into my bedroom?
209
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,519
But if
your favorite coping method
210
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,589
isn't doing the trick anymore,
well,
211
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:12,192
there's now a group of experts
that you can call for advice.
212
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,095
If you've been feeling mad,
frustrated, or nervous,
213
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,763
just know you're not alone.
214
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,433
There is a group
of elementary school students
215
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,669
with some positive messages
only a phone call away.
216
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,138
Welcome to the Peptoc hotline,
217
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,740
real advice you can use
218
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,076
from the students
at West Side Elementary.
219
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,377
The hotline is the brainchild
220
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,446
of West Side art teacher
Jessica Martin
221
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,581
and local artist Asherah Weiss.
222
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,950
Two days after we-we went live,
223
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,086
We were getting
500 calls an hour.
224
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,655
And, uh, uh, last I checked,
225
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,957
we were getting
11,000 calls an hour.
226
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,341
Huh?
227
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,744
Just when you thought there was
no goodness in the world,
228
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,445
you see something like this.
229
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,148
I don't care what you say.
That is the most adorable way
230
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,349
to feel better ever.
231
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,319
You call a five-year-old
and they give you advice.
232
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,721
You know? Like, I got to say,
I like getting advice from kids
233
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,023
way more than the alternative.
234
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,025
Because if you tell a kid
you're stressed,
235
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,460
they're like,
"Go buy some ice cream."
236
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,196
That picks you up, you know?
237
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,564
But if you tell your therapist
you're stressed,
238
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,032
what do they do? They're like,
239
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,801
"Let's relive every failed
relationship you've ever had."
240
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,636
Yeah. And then just when I'm
getting into it, they're like,
241
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,039
"All right, our time is up.
Good luck out there, kid."
242
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,307
I will say though,
243
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,075
the effects of kid therapy
could go both ways.
244
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,543
You have to consider that.
245
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,812
Because, yes, their advice could
make you feel a whole lot better
246
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,748
but then you realize you're
taking advice from a child.
247
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,183
Now you're depressed again.
248
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,118
I-I love this service.
There's nothing wrong with it.
249
00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:47,054
-Ronny, would you-- would you do
th... -Trev-Trevor, hang on.
250
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:50,057
Uh, uh, Peptoc?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh...
251
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,093
So, I've been feeling this,
uh, existential dread
252
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,796
from, uh, this pandemic
and this, uh, war.
253
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,531
Gas prices
are going through the roof.
254
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,700
Also, my Netflix special
is coming out on April 5,
255
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,035
and I've been feeling
a little insecure about it.
256
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,404
Um, also, my marriage,
uh, you know,
257
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:06,273
I-I wouldn't say we're unhappy,
but, you know, it just feels
258
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,075
like there's this silence and...
259
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,843
emptiness
that just keeps growing.
260
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,778
Uh, I don't know.
Do you have any advice?
261
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,248
Mm-hmm.
262
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,316
What's that?
Uh, drink some apple juice?
263
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,118
Okay.
264
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,054
Thank you.
You think I haven't tried that?!
265
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,323
These (bleep) kids, man.
266
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,459
(crew members laughing)
267
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,295
I-I think
you're missing the point
268
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,930
of what the kid
is trying to do, Ronny.
269
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,966
(exhales) I mean, how much juice
can one man take?
270
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,268
You know what I'm saying?
Like...
271
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,802
Yeah, I-I get it, but the kid--
It's not, like,
272
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:36,970
actually about doing the thing.
273
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,238
It's about the feeling
of the kid
274
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,540
-giving you the...
-Well, if you can't deliver,
275
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,709
then don't (bleep) start
the-the business, all right?
276
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,844
It's not-- it's not a business.
277
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,312
It's a thing
to make you feel good.
278
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,080
Well, I tell you, I don't want
to get a bill for that shit.
279
00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,315
That was completely useless,
280
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,449
-all right?
-Yeah, it's not about the bill.
281
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,884
Ronny, it's about the joy.
It's like--
282
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,886
There's some things in life
that bring people joy.
283
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,288
Look, if I'm gonna get advice
from kids,
284
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,290
I'm not gonna get advice
from American kids.
285
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,926
Okay? (stammers)
What do you do in kindergarten?
286
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,161
(stammers)
Coloring a book?
287
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,297
Dude, in-in Asia,
we'd be doing advanced calculus
288
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:06,300
by this point. I want some Asian
kids to give me some advice.
289
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,135
Wow.
290
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,871
You know... S-So grumpy.
291
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,439
You know what you
need to do, Ronny?
292
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,541
You need to go on Netflix on
April 5 and watch your special.
293
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,410
It'll-it'll probably
cheer you up.
294
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,345
All right, thank you so much,
Ronny Chieng.
295
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,880
Let's move on
to our top story.
296
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:23,083
We are now in the fourth week
of Russia's invasion of Ukraine,
297
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,585
Russia's worst decision since
298
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,820
sending their horniest spy
to kill James Bond.
299
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,857
So, let's catch up
on all the latest updates
300
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,326
in our ongoing coverage
of the war in Ukraine.
301
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,561
♪ ♪
302
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,400
While Russia's military hasn't
had a lot of success recently
303
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,903
in terms of capturing
Ukrainian territory,
304
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:46,106
that doesn't mean the military
hasn't been successful
305
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,975
at killing Ukrainian civilians.
306
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,144
Every day brings new reports
of a hospital, school
307
00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:54,248
or shelter being hit
by a Russian air strike.
308
00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:56,550
Or entire cities under siege
309
00:11:56,650 --> 00:12:00,053
with no access to food,
water or medicine.
310
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,957
And I honestly don't know
what the point of it all is.
311
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,094
Like, unless Putin's plan is
to win over the Ukrainian people
312
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,062
with the world's largest
case of Stockholm syndrome,
313
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,798
What is he doing?
But, either way, either way,
314
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,168
Ukraine has been
saying for weeks
315
00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:15,736
that Russia is guilty
of war crimes.
316
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,404
And now it looks like
317
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,574
the president
of the United States agrees.
318
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,509
NEWSMAN: Now to Washington,
where President Biden has called
319
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,579
Vladimir Putin a war criminal
for the very first time.
320
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:26,914
-He is a war criminal.
-(reporters clamoring)
321
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,349
NEWSWOMAN: The White House
says President Biden was
322
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,785
"speaking from the heart"
about Vladimir Putin's
323
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:35,222
barbaric actions when
he made that declaration.
324
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,624
The Kremlin responded
to that charge just moments ago,
325
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:41,695
calling it "absolutely
unacceptable and inexcusable,"
326
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,164
and pointing to the U.S.
bombing of Hiroshima
327
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,466
and Nagasaki
during World War II.
328
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,102
Aw, seriously, Russia?
You're gonna bring up something
329
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,805
America did in the '40s?
330
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,774
America's committed
plenty of war crimes since then.
331
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:57,411
Keep up with the times, yo.
Come with that old shit.
332
00:12:57,511 --> 00:13:00,247
And just because America
committed war crimes
333
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,784
doesn't mean that you have to
as well, Vladimir Putin, okay?
334
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,319
I mean, what--
if all your friends
335
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:07,721
jumped off a bridge,
would you do it too?
336
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,122
No, seriously, would you?
337
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,791
I'm just brainstorming ways
to end this whole thing.
338
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,926
I just want to know
what you'd do, you know?
339
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,562
Now, despite being under
constant bombardment,
340
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,497
Ukraine's president,
Volodymyr Zelensky--
341
00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:21,435
he's made it clear that
he has no plans-- zero, nada--
342
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,270
to ever surrender to Russia.
343
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,572
Yeah, practically every day,
he releases a new video
344
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,108
reassuring Ukrainians
that he's still in charge,
345
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,977
he's still in Kyiv,
346
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,079
and he's still making
olive-green T-shirts
347
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,381
the hottest
fashion item of 2022.
348
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,885
Although, if you were watching
Ukrainian news yesterday,
349
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,954
you might have heard
a very different message.
350
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:43,557
A video claiming to show Ukraine
president Volodymyr Zelensky
351
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,093
calling for the Ukrainian people
to surrender to Russia
352
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,996
was aired on news station
Ukraine 24.
353
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,098
It then circulated
on social media.
354
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,101
In the deepfake video,
a phony President Zelensky tells
355
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:57,137
Ukrainians to put their weapons
down in their war with Russia.
356
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,207
Digital forensic experts
quickly picked it apart,
357
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,709
catching a number
of visual and audio glitches.
358
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,345
The official Facebook account
for Ukraine's land forces
359
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,649
posted a warning that more
videos like this may be coming.
360
00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:11,952
Yeah. You know what's funny is
the first time I saw a deepfake,
361
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,588
the first time, I wondered
when it would finally be used
362
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,456
for something dangerous
in the world.
363
00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:19,059
Like, something actually
meaningful. 'Cause you realize,
364
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,794
like, some Ukrainians
could have seen this video
365
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,496
and actually surrendered.
366
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:24,965
And the only reason they spotted
this was because of
367
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,634
small discrepancies and also
because the fake Zelensky
368
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,803
said Putin had a big dick
and he's a karate king.
369
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,205
I mean, that
sort of gave it away.
370
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,473
But you realize why deepfakes
are so scary, right?
371
00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:36,076
It's because they can
make you think that anyone
372
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,644
was doing anything,
even if they weren't.
373
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,346
Like, for instance,
for instance, have you seen--
374
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:42,649
there's a video of me online
where they make it look like
375
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,719
I was crying at the end
of the Jurassic World.
376
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:48,689
Which is ridiculous. Why-why
would I-- why would I cry
377
00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:51,992
just-just because
that one dinosaur-- p-p--
378
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,795
fought with
the other dinosaur, like...
379
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,997
I like dinosaurs.
Why are they killing each other?
380
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,499
Why do dinosaurs
biting each other?
381
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,635
(crying)
Why are they doing that?
382
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:05,205
You see? They did it again.
That was...
383
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,407
The point is... the point is,
this was a bullshit way
384
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:09,643
for Russia to try
and win this war. Yeah.
385
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,812
Which is why
we at The Daily Show decided
386
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,146
we're getting back at Putin
387
00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:15,449
by releasing our own
deepfake video.
388
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:18,051
It's me, Vladimir Putin.
389
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,487
I made boo-boo
invading Ukraine,
390
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:24,258
and I just pooped my pants.
391
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:28,462
Ha! Checkmate, Putin.
392
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:31,932
Now we don't know for sure
who's behind this deepfake,
393
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,667
but it obviously
wouldn't be shocking
394
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,202
if it was the work
of the Russian government
395
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,437
since fake news is kind of
their whole thing right now.
396
00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:39,907
In fact, if you turn on
Russia state media,
397
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,577
you'd probably hear that Ukraine
was the aggressor in this war,
398
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,913
and that Russia had no choice
but to defend itself.
399
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,348
And also,
that the war is going great
400
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,217
and if a few thousand Russian
soldiers don't come home,
401
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,752
it's not because they're dead.
402
00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,287
It's because
they're on a permanent vacation.
403
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,222
You know how it is.
404
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,124
And believe it or not,
believe it or not,
405
00:15:57,224 --> 00:16:00,827
the Russian government is being
helped in this propaganda effort
406
00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:04,431
by conservative TV networks
in the United States.
407
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,166
Yeah, as wild as it sounds,
408
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:10,070
channels like Fox News,
Newsmax and OAN--
409
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,040
they've been so friendly
to Putin's narrative
410
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:17,177
that Russian TV stations have
even reportedly been ordered
411
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:22,049
to play clips of Tucker Carlson
on its broadcasts.
412
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,851
And that's a smart move
by Tucker, you know?
413
00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:25,786
You might be like, "Why is
he defending the Russians?"
414
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:27,354
Yeah, it's a smart move.
415
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,524
You don't want all your eggs
in the Trump propaganda basket.
416
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,426
You got to diversify, you know?
417
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:34,828
Think about other bad guys
you could roll with.
418
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,497
Putin, Kim Jong-un,
hey, maybe The Joker.
419
00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:39,499
Are we really supposed
to believe
420
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,169
a Batman is keeping
our streets safer?
421
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,770
Why is that?
422
00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:45,339
But the point is,
423
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,408
America's conservative media
is doing almost as good a job
424
00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:53,380
at spreading Russian propaganda
as Russia itself,
425
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,483
which is why we thought
now's the perfect time
426
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,553
for a good old-fashioned
Propagand-Off!
427
00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:01,688
♪ ♪
428
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:11,131
Ukraine wasn't a thing
until 1989.
429
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,466
Ukraine was created
by the Russians.
430
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,568
It was...
You know, they speak Russian.
431
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:26,580
So, yes, we're funding
secret bio labs in Ukraine.
432
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:43,163
Just like we would not want
Russia to come in
433
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,465
and start putting their tanks
and missiles on our borders,
434
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,402
Russia says "Hey, I don't want
U.S. and NATO coming
435
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,237
"and making
their military outposts
436
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,639
on our borders within Ukraine."
437
00:17:56,910 --> 00:18:00,047
(translated): Rampant neo-Nazism
in Ukraine itself.
438
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:02,449
There were Nazis
in Ukrainian divisions,
439
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,585
and there still are
Ukrainian Nazis.
440
00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:06,186
You can find pictures
of them online
441
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,755
holding up the NATO flag
and the swastika.
442
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,927
Remember that
Zelensky is a thug.
443
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,329
Remember
the Ukrainian government
444
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:17,764
is incredibly corrupt
and is incredibly evil.
445
00:18:17,865 --> 00:18:21,835
(translated): ...an illegal coup
in Kyiv in February 2014
446
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,037
with the support
of the United States
447
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,440
where the legitimately-elected
president
448
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,675
of the country was overthrown.
449
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,512
A country
which government only exists
450
00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:33,881
because of the Obama
state department helped
451
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,916
to overthrow
the previous regime.
452
00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,225
Look, Russia is now
being cancelled.
453
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,794
All right, when we come back,
Desi Lydic checks in
454
00:18:47,895 --> 00:18:49,363
with the Russians
we shouldn't be blaming.
455
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,064
You don't want to miss it.
456
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,033
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
457
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,003
Since the start of Russia's war
against Ukraine,
458
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,572
everyone has been looking for
a way to help Ukraine
459
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,474
and get back at Russia.
460
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,211
But it turns out some people
are doing it the wrong way.
461
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,979
And Desi Lydic has more.
462
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,381
♪ ♪
463
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,883
DESI: Like pride flags in June,
freedom fries after 9/11,
464
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,487
or black squares on social
media, Americans have a knack
465
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,890
for making real change with
their creative activism.
466
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,160
And, no surprise, now they're
turning their focus to Russia.
467
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:24,130
Russian restaurants here in the
U.S. that once proudly displayed
468
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,966
the county's heritage are
feeling repercussions
469
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,068
from a war thousands
of miles away.
470
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,637
A new call this morning to ban
the sale of Russian
471
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,306
alcohol here in New York.
472
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,175
DESI: Surely, these savvy New
Yorkers know a Putin supporter
473
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:37,777
when they see one, right?
474
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,112
But are these businesses really
in the pockets
475
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,648
of Russian oligarchs? And how
much are they sending back
476
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:43,950
to Putin himself?
477
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,053
As a true patriot, I had
to find out how well our boycott
478
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,587
strategy was working.
479
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,058
My first stop, a Russian front--
sorry, restaurant--
480
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,060
in the West Village, Tzarevna.
481
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,362
Sounds suspicious already.
482
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,965
-Did Putin help you
set up this place? -No, no.
483
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,700
How much of a share
does he have in this business?
484
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,134
None that I'm aware of.
485
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,502
If I order the borscht,
486
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,071
how much of it
will go back into his hands?
487
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,606
Presumably none.
488
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:08,941
It's here somewhere.
489
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,043
-(hitting bar)
-(Lydic clears throat)
490
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,614
-Where's the yacht?
-There's no yacht.
491
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,849
LYDIC: I wasn't able to find
the spy stuff at Ricky's,
492
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,085
but a restaurant with "Russian"
in the name
493
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,087
must be a front
for Moscow loyalists.
494
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:24,490
I went to the Russian Samovar
to meet with the owner.
495
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,093
Look at this guy. He's got to be
in Putin's pocket.
496
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,327
You brought this out for me?
497
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:29,395
Yeah.
498
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:30,863
-Misha Von Shats.
-Yeah.
499
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,099
-That's your real name?
-That's my real name.
500
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,667
Misha want a shot.
501
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,236
Do you always refer to yourself
in the third person?
502
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,338
Misha sometimes does.
503
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,874
-Oh, this is gonna be
a long shoot. -Yeah.
504
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,276
You know what, you should
probably try this first.
505
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,645
-I know what Russia does
to journalists. -Oh.
506
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,348
-Mmm!
-Mmm.
507
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,918
What is your most popular dish
and drink here?
508
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:56,188
Uh, no surprise, chicken Kiev.
509
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:59,458
And how has business been
up until this point?
510
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,895
Uh, business was
just getting, uh, good again
511
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,463
coming out of the pandemic.
512
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,832
And then because we have
"Russian" in the name,
513
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,101
we're automatically vilified.
514
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,637
You know, just 'cause we are
a "Russian" establishment
515
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,940
doesn't mean we write a check
to Putin or the regime.
516
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,508
We're standing with Ukraine
517
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,310
and our staff
that is mostly Ukrainian.
518
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,844
People don't understand
many Ukrainians
519
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,013
work for Russian establishments,
520
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,581
and by blackballing
the business,
521
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,918
you're hurting them earning
their wages and their tips
522
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,721
where they need to send it
back home to help theirs,
523
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,623
which becomes a problem,
as well.
524
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,693
Where exactly do you stand
on this war?
525
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,062
We stand behind
all Russian New Yorkers
526
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,164
when we say that violence
is not the answer
527
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,467
and we are here to make borscht,
not war.
528
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:46,105
How has your business changed
since this war started?
529
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,708
Since the first week of the war,
we definitely noticed
530
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,876
a big decline
in business and revenue.
531
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,546
We probably see about half
of what we normally do.
532
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,814
Just people not coming in.
533
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,683
Americans have a way
of sort of...
534
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,486
not knowing exactly where
to put their activism
535
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,656
and sort of misunderstanding
a proper boycott.
536
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:04,824
-Yeah. -Is that what's happening
in this situation?
537
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,826
That's sort of what's happening,
yeah.
538
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,428
They-they like to assume that
maybe the Russians in New York,
539
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,831
by maybe hurting us,
540
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,332
it might hurt Russians
back home.
541
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:15,001
When, in reality,
542
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:18,938
the Russians that are here
left Russia for a reason.
543
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:21,207
LYDIC: Could it be
that our protest strategy
544
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:22,842
was punishing the wrong people?
545
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,678
I mean, these guys are
even part Ukrainian themselves.
546
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,713
This is worse than the time
my sister went to jail
547
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,383
because our DNA profiles
are so similar.
548
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,385
Business dropped,
like, uh, overnight.
549
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,953
We were just getting threats
and calls,
550
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,621
calling us all types of names--
551
00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,390
Nazis, this and that.
552
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,358
And being of Jewish descent,
553
00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:41,894
isn't always a-a nice thing
to deal with.
554
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,096
And-and that's happening
pretty frequently?
555
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,765
On a constant basis, yeah.
556
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,633
It's time for another shot.
557
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,069
-I'm... (stammers)
That's okay. -Yeah?
558
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:51,604
-I'm-- Yeah, I better not.
-Yeah. Yeah, it's all right.
559
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,205
-Okay, I'll do it. Okay.
-You know? Yeah. That--
560
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:54,607
-There we go.
-Okay.
561
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,243
(gulps)
562
00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:58,577
Oh, you went
for the whole thing. Okay.
563
00:22:58,678 --> 00:22:59,679
I don't want to be rude.
564
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,280
You sure
you're not a Russian spy?
565
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,082
You drank that like a Russian.
566
00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,919
I'm so sorry
that your business is suffering
567
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,222
and that Americans are so
misguided on this whole thing.
568
00:23:10,323 --> 00:23:11,490
I want to support your business.
569
00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:13,592
You know what?
I'll take one of everything.
570
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,995
Round of drinks for everyone!
571
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:17,463
Well, there's no one in here,
572
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:18,931
but you-you get the idea.
573
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,132
Just e-everything.
574
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:23,035
We can get you our...
575
00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,303
Russian kid juice.
576
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,504
Yes!
577
00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:26,505
Cheers.
578
00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,007
And to wash that down,
579
00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:30,610
some of our famous borscht.
580
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,411
Nice!
581
00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:35,748
Okay, I've very much
been looking forward to this.
582
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,650
What is in this?
583
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,453
So, beets and beef and potato.
584
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:43,956
-Ooh.
-All Russians' favorite thing.
585
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:44,957
Mmm.
586
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:46,959
I have a slight beet allergy,
587
00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,761
-but it'll be fine.
-(chuckles)
588
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,296
Oh, it's so good.
589
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:52,798
I'm not gonna let that
get in the way.
590
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,601
What would be your
message to Americans
591
00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:57,336
-during this time?
-Uh, my message to Americans
592
00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,006
is, uh, don't vilify anything
or anybody that is Russian.
593
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,174
We didn't start this war.
It's Putin's war.
594
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,210
One final question.
595
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:06,512
Why so many beets?
596
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,080
Why not?
597
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,815
It's full of vitamins
and minerals.
598
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,586
(gags)
599
00:24:13,686 --> 00:24:15,488
(vomiting)
600
00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,590
Well, if one thing
is abundantly clear,
601
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:20,393
it's that that New Yorkers
have gotten this one all wrong,
602
00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:23,362
and the only Russian asshole
in this war is Putin.
603
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,398
Now the only thing left to do
604
00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:28,901
is to support
my fellow Americans.
605
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,836
Thank you so much for that,
Desi. All right, people,
606
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,571
don't go away, because
when we come back,
607
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:34,140
you know how people
always say,
608
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,309
"If you don't like America,
you should just leave"?
609
00:24:36,409 --> 00:24:38,978
Well, we're gonna talk to
someone who actually did that.
610
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:40,646
So stay tuned.
611
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,515
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight
612
00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:46,118
is journalist and author
Tiffanie Drayton.
613
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,488
Her new memoir is about
how her family came to America
614
00:24:49,588 --> 00:24:52,924
for a better life, and why she
returned to Trinidad and Tobago
615
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,327
because she felt
they couldn't find it.
616
00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:57,429
Tiffanie Drayton, welcome to
The Daily Show.
617
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:58,897
Thank you so much
for having me, Trevor.
618
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,198
You know, you have one of the
619
00:25:00,298 --> 00:25:02,300
most interesting
takes in this book.
620
00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:04,136
You do not want to
be middle of the road.
621
00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:05,704
You very much want
to speak your piece.
622
00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:07,906
Black American Refugee.
623
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:10,876
You say something that-that
I think a lot of people feel,
624
00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:12,811
but you have acted on.
You have gone,
625
00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:16,214
"America is not my friend
as a Black American person,
626
00:25:16,315 --> 00:25:18,417
and so, for-- because of that,
I'm leaving."
627
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,752
-Absolutely. -So when you say
"Black American refugee,"
628
00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:22,954
that's a, that's a very specific
title to choose for a book,
629
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,489
because you don't say
Black American immigrant,
630
00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:25,991
-Precisely.
-You say Black American refugee,
631
00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:28,060
-which implies some
sort of fleeing. -Mm-hmm.
632
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,194
You know?
You're leaving the place.
633
00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:30,796
-You're living in exile now.
-Mm-hmm.
634
00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:33,131
I would love to understand
the thought behind that,
635
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,300
because many would say, "Oh,
but you chose to leave and you,
636
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,769
you could stay, as well."
But you argue in the book--
637
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,571
-You couldn't stay.
Staying wasn't -Right.
638
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:41,807
actually an option for you
if you wanted to live a life.
639
00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:44,609
Right. And that's when you have
to really take a good look
640
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:47,512
at systemic oppression
641
00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,047
and what that does
to an individual.
642
00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:50,983
So, when I made that decision
to leave,
643
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,485
I was being oppressed
in so many ways.
644
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:55,120
Whether it be the withholding
of your diploma,
645
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,922
the, uh,
living in a neighborhood
646
00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,124
that is rife with violence.
647
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:01,994
Uh, these are all things that
I was experiencing at that time.
648
00:26:02,094 --> 00:26:03,261
And then on top of that,
649
00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:05,764
to add an additional layer
of trauma,
650
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:08,633
I was in a narcissistic,
abusive relationship.
651
00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,436
And that's something
that's more common
652
00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:15,340
with people who are
of an oppressed minority.
653
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,142
You realize it's so hard
654
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,778
to not find yourself
in abusive dynamics
655
00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:22,447
because-- guess what--
everybody is existing
656
00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:23,815
in a way that's so traumatic
657
00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:26,518
and so full
of constant distress.
658
00:26:26,618 --> 00:26:29,454
And not only that
but, you know, we internalize
659
00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:33,759
so many of the messages
from our abusers
660
00:26:33,859 --> 00:26:35,260
and, in this case,
661
00:26:35,293 --> 00:26:38,296
this larger structure
of systemic oppression, right?
662
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,632
For example, you know,
so many Black people
663
00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:43,368
internalize ideas of self-hate
664
00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:45,037
that they would have learned
from the media
665
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:48,040
that brands us thugs
or crack babies
666
00:26:48,206 --> 00:26:49,408
-or welfare queens.
-Right, right.
667
00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,677
All of these brands
and all of these labels.
668
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:55,213
And, so, my decision to leave
was really born of my desire
669
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,982
to even free myself
from those labels,
670
00:26:57,082 --> 00:26:59,418
and that's what I was able to do
by going back to Trinidad.
671
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:01,386
There are... There are pros
and cons to every country.
672
00:27:01,486 --> 00:27:03,322
-Absolutely. -I have friends
from Trinidad who'll be like,
673
00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:05,390
"Man, Trevor,
I wish I lived in America.
674
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:07,492
"There's opportunities.
There's ways you can do things.
675
00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:09,628
There's... It seems
like there's upward mobility."
676
00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:10,996
Trinidad is so small.
677
00:27:11,096 --> 00:27:12,464
It's-it's a community.
It's a village.
678
00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:14,666
But it also feels constricting
at times.
679
00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,468
Do you... Do you not think
it's just a case
680
00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:17,969
of maybe the grass
being greener?
681
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:19,538
Or do you...
do you think it's something
682
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,540
that you've chosen to weigh up
and go, "You know what?
683
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,710
"Me feeling being Black
is not an issue
684
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:25,944
"is worth more to me
685
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,846
than the ease
of upward mobility"?
686
00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:29,915
Or do you think upward mobility
itself doesn't even exist?
687
00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,750
I-I feel like, you know,
688
00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:34,953
when you recognize
that you are in a caste system,
689
00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:38,657
it is true that upward mobility
may exist for the few,
690
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:41,793
but what does that say
about the majority?
691
00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:43,895
And is there
truly upward mobility if,
692
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,397
when you move
into that rich neighborhood
693
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,265
or you start driving that BMW,
694
00:27:47,366 --> 00:27:50,402
you are still under the same
threat of white supremacy?
695
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:53,672
Is it truly upward mobility
if you have to be afraid
696
00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:57,075
to gift your child a car
that's expensive
697
00:27:57,209 --> 00:28:00,045
because a police officer
may shoot that child
698
00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:01,947
because they think
that the child stole the car
699
00:28:02,047 --> 00:28:03,215
-just because they're Black?
-Mm-hmm.
700
00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:08,453
You know, I think
that we can only view mobility
701
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:11,223
in terms of maybe
our economic circumstances.
702
00:28:11,289 --> 00:28:13,258
But when that brand of blackness
703
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,628
puts you at the bottom rungs
of a society,
704
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,997
there is really no way
to escape that,
705
00:28:19,097 --> 00:28:22,267
aside from destroying
that very system
706
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:26,238
that seeks to put people in
that rung and keep them there.
707
00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,240
I like
that you say "caste system."
708
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:29,741
-'Cause it is that.
-Yeah, but I think
709
00:28:29,841 --> 00:28:31,510
people don't understand
what a caste system actually is
710
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:32,944
-all the time, right? So...
-No, they don't. They're like,
711
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,480
"But it's not India." It's like,
it doesn't have to be India.
712
00:28:35,580 --> 00:28:37,516
-Right. Yes. -It could be
the American version.
713
00:28:37,616 --> 00:28:39,117
But I still--
I often say to people
714
00:28:39,251 --> 00:28:41,186
we're still dealing
with a very basic level of it.
715
00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:43,755
Because, here, it's still--
Like, we're still, like--
716
00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,757
I always think of-- If-if
I was playing a video game,
717
00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:48,660
race is still, like,
almost, like, the first boss.
718
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,429
Do you know what I mean?
They're still gonna--
719
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,531
Like, classism is still
gonna come in as the next boss,
720
00:28:52,631 --> 00:28:54,533
-which is almost what, like,
the racism is hiding. -Eh...
721
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,401
-You don't think so?
-I mean... No, absolutely not.
722
00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:58,103
-Because, ultimately...
-You don't think so?
723
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:01,540
Darling,
let's go take a trip down MLK.
724
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,775
Let's got-- take a trip
down Malcolm X.
725
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,277
In fact, let's go
to Barack Obama schools
726
00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:06,611
-across the United States
of America... -Yeah.
727
00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:08,680
...tell me about class not being
interconnected with race.
728
00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:10,048
No, I'm not saying
not interconnected.
729
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:11,416
-No, no, no. -It is actually
part of the same thing.
730
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,119
-Yes. Yeah. -Because
the class system in America,
731
00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:17,222
-remember, the-- you brought
enslaved people... -Yes. Yes.
732
00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:18,857
-...to act as your...
-Completely with you.
733
00:29:18,957 --> 00:29:20,826
-Completely with you.
-And from that moment,
734
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:23,228
you built a system
around oppressing them.
735
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,230
-Right. -So that you
can constantly use their bodies
736
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:27,232
to profit from. Let's look
at mass incarceration.
737
00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:28,967
-Let's... -And I'm not saying
not interconnected.
738
00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,502
This is what I'm saying,
as a-- as a-- This is what...
739
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:32,938
No, one and the same.
Like this. Hand in glove.
740
00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:35,007
-In America. It may not be
everywhere. -Oh, yeah, yeah!
741
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,808
-They may be intertwined now,
yes, yes, yes. -In-in America,
742
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:38,610
-you built both systems
simultaneously. -Yes. Right.
743
00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:39,945
-Right. -I mean,
it's a very young country.
744
00:29:40,045 --> 00:29:41,480
-It's not like
it's a brand-new country. -Yes.
745
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:42,981
-That's the thing. -It's not
like it's a very old country.
746
00:29:43,081 --> 00:29:46,084
And that's-that's what I'm
saying. People, I think, don't
747
00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:48,520
seem to-- So, I-I appreciate
that you said it like that.
748
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,688
-Mm-hmm. -So, okay,
let's look at America,
749
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:51,356
-as an example, right?
-Mm-hmm.
750
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,259
The thing I always try
and explain to people is this.
751
00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:57,095
The system that exists
screws over
752
00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,698
-so many white people
as well, right? -Agreed.
753
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:02,434
Because there are so many
white people who are kept poor
754
00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:04,436
by a system that
has taught them that
755
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,204
Black people are coming
to take your shit,
756
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:07,806
-Precisely. -so you need
to fight the Black people,
757
00:30:07,906 --> 00:30:09,241
-when in fact-- -And that's
what the caste system does.
758
00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:11,410
-If you look at the history
of America, right? -Yes.
759
00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:14,046
-"Europeans" of all sorts
can come to America -Mm-hmm.
760
00:30:14,212 --> 00:30:15,814
-and eventually assimilate.
-Right.
761
00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:19,818
-You absorb the whiter folks
so that your power -Yes.
762
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:23,021
is maintained. But that doesn't
-Yes. Completely agree
763
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:25,624
-with you. -But the key thing
is that the white is on one end
764
00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:27,492
-and the Black is on the other.
-Yes.
765
00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,995
So, anybody who falls off
into that Black category...
766
00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:32,597
-Yes. -Like, if you're dealing
with descendants of slaves
767
00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,466
-who are American...
-Uh-huh.
768
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:37,436
Um... they know
it's a caste system.
769
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:38,770
-There's no question for them,
because -Right, right.
770
00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:41,973
they see how
there is no, like...
771
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:44,176
-generational wealth.
-Yes.
772
00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:45,811
-Where? Where-where's it at?
-Right.
773
00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:47,646
Like, the average white family
has, like, 16 times
774
00:30:47,746 --> 00:30:49,181
the amount
of generational wealth.
775
00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:51,550
-So, to say it's not race,
that's just... -No, no, no.
776
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,552
I'm not saying it is not race.
This is what I'm saying. Okay.
777
00:30:53,652 --> 00:30:55,187
-It's the same. They're...
-Let's look at... Let's... Yes.
778
00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:56,822
-They're like, "Uh." -But
I'm saying, they are intertwined
779
00:30:56,922 --> 00:30:58,190
but I don't think
they're the same thing,
780
00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,558
and I'll tell you why.
781
00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,193
Let's look at immigrants
who come to America.
782
00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:03,228
-That first generation will come
from a place and go... -Mm-hmm.
783
00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:04,963
-Mm-hmm. -"Ah,
I was given opportunities.
784
00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:07,032
"I could make something of it.
Yes, I had to be a taxi driver.
785
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,834
I had to be this." Etcetera,
etcetera, whatever it is.
786
00:31:08,934 --> 00:31:11,403
-And they'll go, "But my kids
now do this." -Right.
787
00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,205
"I came from this place,
and now my kids do this."
788
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:16,308
Then, ironically, their kids
who are Black American
789
00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:18,944
are now promised a dream
like MLK said.
790
00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:21,213
So immigrants will go,
"This is not my country.
791
00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:23,215
"Ergo, the promise is not to me
792
00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:24,716
so the country's
not failing me."
793
00:31:24,816 --> 00:31:26,218
They have American children.
794
00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:28,320
The American children go,
"I have a promise."
795
00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:31,456
Then the promise is not
fulfilled, which creates...
796
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,225
You know, I want
to give you another thing
797
00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:34,526
-to think about
as we're on this. -Yes.
798
00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:35,961
Because if you want
to look generationally,
799
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:37,295
like, my mother--
800
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:38,864
when she came
to the United States of America,
801
00:31:38,964 --> 00:31:40,265
despite the fact
that she worked as a nanny
802
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:41,566
and then eventually
became a nurse--
803
00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,335
she was actually
a very educated woman.
804
00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,771
Now for her to give her children
that same level
805
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:48,006
of access to education, uh,
806
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:50,375
we ventured
to three or four states.
807
00:31:50,475 --> 00:31:54,279
So it requires so much effort
to extract.
808
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:55,881
-I'm completely with you, yeah.
-Especially, like, within...
809
00:31:55,981 --> 00:31:57,616
If you look
at the education system, like,
810
00:31:57,716 --> 00:31:59,384
if are you in a majority
Black school, it's going
811
00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:01,820
-to be hot garbage, and that's
just a fact. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
812
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,822
In other countries,
that's not going
813
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,190
to be the thing
that's holding you back.
814
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:06,491
It's not gonna be the fact
that you're Black
815
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:07,826
that you can't get
a good education.
816
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,361
-That may play into it,
like you say. -Yes. Yes.
817
00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,963
That's where you see more of
those class-based situations.
818
00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:13,398
-Where we see the stitching,
yes. -But in the United States
819
00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:16,234
of America, as soon as you bring
your Blackity Black kids
820
00:32:16,335 --> 00:32:18,403
from Africa or from wherever,
and you think that, you know,
821
00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,672
these titles of being
"immigrant" of "Trinidadian"
822
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,274
or whatever are
gonna protect you,
823
00:32:22,374 --> 00:32:24,042
-perhaps they might give you
a blinder. -That's what I mean.
824
00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:25,610
But for your children,
they're gonna have to experience
825
00:32:25,711 --> 00:32:27,346
what it is like to be educated
826
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:30,248
in the education system
of the United States of America,
827
00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:32,284
and it ain't got no time for us,
I'll put it that way.
828
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:33,819
-I'll tell you this.
Tiffanie Drayton... -Mm-hmm.
829
00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:35,253
...you've written
an engaging book,
830
00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:36,722
which is one
of my favorite books to read.
831
00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:38,223
There are things I agree with,
there are things
832
00:32:38,323 --> 00:32:39,691
I disagree with, there are
things that are new to me.
833
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:40,959
I hope everybody reads it
for that reason.
834
00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:42,160
Thank you so much
for joining me on the show.
835
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:44,162
Thank you so much for having me.
836
00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:45,931
All right, people,
Tiffanie Drayton's memoir,
837
00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:48,367
Black American Refugee,
is available right now.
838
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:49,768
We're gonna take a quick break,
839
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,069
but we'll be right back
after this.
840
00:32:54,638 --> 00:32:56,307
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but before we go,
841
00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:57,741
in honor of Women's History
Month, The Daily Show partnered
842
00:32:57,842 --> 00:32:59,677
with Lolly Lolly Ceramics
to create three
843
00:32:59,777 --> 00:33:01,579
special edition
Daily Show mugs.
844
00:33:01,679 --> 00:33:04,281
All month long,
you've seen Lolly Lolly's mugs
845
00:33:04,381 --> 00:33:07,618
right here on our desk,
and you've got one last chance
846
00:33:07,718 --> 00:33:09,153
to buy a mug of your very own.
847
00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:10,988
Remember, they're limited.
This is it. They are done.
848
00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:13,123
So, if you want
to support a Black-owned
849
00:33:13,224 --> 00:33:15,559
women-run small business
and look fresh
850
00:33:15,659 --> 00:33:18,429
while drinking your coffee,
head to the link below.
851
00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:20,531
The Daily Show
will be taking a little break
852
00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:21,765
for the next few weeks.
853
00:33:21,866 --> 00:33:23,367
But the good news is,
the good news is
854
00:33:23,467 --> 00:33:24,835
the reason
that we're doing that is because
855
00:33:24,935 --> 00:33:28,839
next time you see us,
we'll have our audience back!
856
00:33:28,939 --> 00:33:30,674
You see,
if there was an audience here,
857
00:33:30,774 --> 00:33:32,109
they would have cheered
for that.
858
00:33:32,209 --> 00:33:33,777
That's why I need an audience.
Yeah.
859
00:33:33,878 --> 00:33:36,514
Anyway, um,
I just wanted to thank you,
860
00:33:36,614 --> 00:33:39,617
every single one of you
who has been with us
861
00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:42,820
on this crazy,
two-year journey. Yeah.
862
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,488
Like, sometimes I have
to stop myself to think
863
00:33:44,588 --> 00:33:46,357
about how wild it is,
from not knowing
864
00:33:46,457 --> 00:33:48,959
if we'd still be able
to do a show in a pandemic,
865
00:33:49,059 --> 00:33:50,995
to doing the show
from my apartment,
866
00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,930
to doing it here at, like...
867
00:33:53,030 --> 00:33:54,932
Like, where are we actually?
What is this even?
868
00:33:55,032 --> 00:33:56,800
You know? What is this?
Is this purgatory?
869
00:33:56,901 --> 00:33:58,669
What is this thing?
870
00:33:58,769 --> 00:34:01,205
Anyway, we're gonna be back
with an audience.
871
00:34:01,305 --> 00:34:04,975
And, hey, maybe we'll see you
in the audience.
872
00:34:05,075 --> 00:34:06,710
You're welcome
to join us at the show.
873
00:34:06,810 --> 00:34:10,814
Until then, stay safe out there,
get your vaccine, and remember,
874
00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:13,317
if are you using someone else's
Netflix account,
875
00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:14,718
you better watch everything now
876
00:34:14,818 --> 00:34:17,054
because it could all
be over soon.
877
00:34:17,154 --> 00:34:20,024
Now here it is--
Your Moment of Zen.
878
00:34:20,124 --> 00:34:23,994
I got this message,
this morning from Bono.
879
00:34:24,094 --> 00:34:29,567
And he said, "Ireland's sorrow
and pain is now the Ukraine,
880
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:33,571
and Saint Patrick's name
is now Zelenskyy."
881
00:34:33,671 --> 00:34:35,506
(audience gasping, applauding)
882
00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,909
Ah. (mumbles)
883
00:34:39,009 --> 00:34:43,013
Okay, we're ready to welcome
straight here in the Capitol
884
00:34:43,113 --> 00:34:46,450
-of the United States.
Riverdance. -(clapping) -Yeah.