1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,970 I am so excited... 2 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:07,274 to be going back to a show that has a live audience. 3 00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,676 For so many reasons. I think one of the biggest reasons 4 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:12,112 I'm excited to be going back to a show with a live audience 5 00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,982 is because then I no longer have to pretend that there's 6 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,250 people here that I'm talking to. 7 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,951 (crew laughs) 8 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:21,889 Sometimes, I even hear laughs in my head. 9 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,457 It's gotten so bad I've heard that the audience 10 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,726 hears them, as well. That's how you know your delusions are 11 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,361 super delusional. 12 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,862 People are like, "Who are you talking to, Trevor?" It's all 13 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,565 in my head, man. Can't wait for that to be real people. 14 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,201 -♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square 15 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:37,237 in New York City, the only city in America, 16 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,673 it's The Daily Show. 17 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,110 Tonight: COVID's back, baby. 18 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,679 The war is raging, 19 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,081 and Tiffanie Drayton! 20 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:53,020 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 21 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,688 Hey, what's going on, everybody? 22 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,657 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah, 23 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,026 and I'm so excited, because joining me for today's headlines 24 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,762 is my good friend, Ronny Chieng. What's going on, Ronny? 25 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,764 -How you doing? -Hey! Trevor, thanks. Thanks for having me. 26 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,434 I'm excited have a last show here in this place. 27 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,469 -We're moving. We're moving to... -Right? 28 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,971 -Studios! And, you know, -Yeah. 29 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,340 I'm gonna-I'm gonna miss, I'm gonna miss this a little bit. 30 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,343 You know? A bit of nostalgia. I'm gonna, miss the shelf. 31 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:19,580 -Uh, I'm gonna miss.. Uh, this chair. -(giggling) 32 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,349 I am gonna miss performing jokes awkwardly 33 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,151 to complete silence. 34 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:28,088 But, uh, you know, most of all, I'm gonna miss you. 35 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,489 What? 36 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,259 You know, s-some people would say, you know, that 37 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,694 you're the most important part of the show. 38 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,362 And I just think it's a shame that you're not gonna 39 00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,930 -come with us to the new... -What do you, what do you mean? 40 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,198 No, I'm-I'm coming. 41 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,666 Well, you know. (sighs) You shouldn't have signed 42 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,101 that two-year lease here. I'm telling you. But... 43 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,836 Wait. No, no, no. I'm coming... you can't go without me. 44 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,805 -Nah, it's okay. We'll find a new host. -No, no, no. No, no. 45 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,473 -I'm comi-- -We're fine. It'll be fine. Let me guess: 46 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,609 -it won't be that Asian guy. -(crew laughs) 47 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,948 -You know what, Ronny? I'm glad you're coming with me. -(laughs) 48 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,651 All right, people. Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 49 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,187 ♪ ♪ 50 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,357 We begin with big news from Netflix, 51 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,193 the friend who checked on you most during the pandemic. 52 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,262 Netflix is still the most popular 53 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,863 streaming TV service in the world, 54 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,366 but its lead has been slipping recently. 55 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,169 Major rivals like Disney+ have been gaining steam. 56 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,905 Upstarts like Peacock have also been getting buzz. 57 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,074 And, of course, there's Paramount+, which is the best 58 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:24,077 streaming service of all. They've got Champions League, 59 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,080 They've got Yellowstone, and they pay me. Ha! 60 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,249 I mean, I can't think of a better network. 61 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,885 So, with Netflix no longer bringing in new customers 62 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,087 the way it used to, the service is looking for ways to 63 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,857 make more money off of the users it already has. 64 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,226 And one idea Netflix is testing out 65 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,828 is the exact opposite of chill. 66 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,264 Sharing your Netflix account with someone else-- 67 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:48,468 or a few someones-- could cost you some money soon. 68 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,671 Netflix says it'll start charging a fee to 69 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,340 primary account holders who share their passwords with 70 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,908 people outside their homes. 71 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,777 They're gonna test this in three countries, 72 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,479 Chile, Costa Rica and Peru. 73 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,316 And depending how the test goes, it could be expanded 74 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,517 to other countries. 75 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,385 Netflix says the fee will allow them to invest 76 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,154 in more shows and more movies. 77 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,691 Uh, also, bottom line here, it'll boost their profits 78 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,159 and cost you more money. 79 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,696 No. No, no, no. 80 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,297 No, Netflix! 81 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,599 This wasn't the deal. 82 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,701 The deal was that we get to share 83 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,070 a single account for our 30 closest friends, 84 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,873 and in return, you get to keep murdering people 85 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,075 to get material for your true-crime documentaries. 86 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,543 And, by the way, you do have to admit, 87 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,445 it's pretty shitty that they're testing this feature 88 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,115 in Chile, Peru and Costa Rica. Right? 89 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,750 I mean, those people just want to watch TV. 90 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,719 They didn't sign up to be guinea pigs. 91 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,654 Like, this makes me wonder how many other things 92 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,123 Netflix has tested on them that we don't even know about. 93 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,825 Yeah, it could be anything. Could be different shows. 94 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,093 It could be different features. 95 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,561 Like the sound, the Netflix sound. 96 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,863 We-We're used to it. "Ba-bum." 97 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,865 You find in those countries, they're testing other ones. 98 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,268 (vocalizes "Shave and a Haircut") 99 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,970 Or it's just someone screaming. (screams) 100 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,705 "Welcome to Netflix." 101 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,440 (laughter) 102 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,709 Yeah, man. I don't know why everyone's always so casual 103 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,045 with these Netflix passwords. You know, everyone's... 104 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:07,047 What-what happened to ethics in this country? 105 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,382 -You know? -Yeah, are we, like, a... 106 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,417 Is this, like, a country of crooks or something? 107 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,686 We should be... We're paying for a good service here. 108 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,122 This is a good service. They make good programs. 109 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,090 This isn't a victimless crime. 110 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:20,360 This isn't a small crime like-like tax fraud 111 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,363 or arson or being born a crime in... 112 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,700 -half white, whatever you are in South Africa. -What? 113 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,070 This is a major intellectual property issue, man. 114 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,207 Every time you look at someone's Netflix 115 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,876 that you didn't pay for, you're taking money away 116 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,513 from smart, capable, good-looking Netflix executives 117 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,881 who make great decisions, 118 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,450 not to mention comedians who make a ton of money 119 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,252 saying whatever the (bleep) they want. 120 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,622 And on a separate note, my new Netflix comedy special 121 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:49,923 is coming out April 5th. 122 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,792 -Ronny Chieng: Speakeasy. -(Noah groans) 123 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,227 So, make sure you tune in. 124 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,862 You don't have to watch it. Just put it on. 125 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,431 The-the views still count for my contract negotiations. 126 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,600 -Thanks, guys. -This guy... I thought... 127 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,435 You know, I was supporting you, and then it turned... 128 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,203 You know what? All right. Let's move on 129 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,038 to the coronavirus pandemic, 130 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,107 which, unlike most Netflix shows, 131 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:10,043 has been renewed for season three. 132 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,646 COVID cases are rising at an alarming rate in Europe, 133 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,616 drawing renewed attention to the Omicron subvariant 134 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,052 known as BA.2 or the stealth strain. 135 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:23,156 In the U.K., daily COVID cases soared over 100,000 136 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,193 marking a jump of 77% in a week. 137 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,461 This comes right after they dropped 138 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,096 pretty much all their COVID restrictions. 139 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,732 In recent weeks, Germany has also continued 140 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,834 to mark record high daily infections 141 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,670 with more than 250,000 new cases a day. 142 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,705 Meanwhile, in France, Switzerland, 143 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:39,973 Italy and the Netherlands, 144 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,942 COVID infections are starting to rise 145 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,545 following a rollback of coronavirus measures. 146 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,079 NEWSMAN: We're seeing these cases rise in Europe, 147 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,215 where they essentially have the same vaccines we've used. 148 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,084 They have the same level of protection that we have here 149 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,120 both from natural immunity and from vaccinations, 150 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,521 possibly even higher, 151 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,256 and they're starting to see these cases. 152 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,525 Could be a harbinger of what's gonna happen here. 153 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,794 Ah, shit. 154 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,530 A harbinger? 155 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,232 I don't even know what that word means, 156 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,900 but harbingers are never good. 157 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,368 Yeah, it's never like, 158 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,070 "This dog is heavily pregnant, 159 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:13,707 which could be a harbinger of more puppies!" 160 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,175 It's always bad shit. 161 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:18,345 A harbinger of more COVID in Americ... Aw, man. 162 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,347 And-and look, I will say this, guys. Before you panic, 163 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,449 before you panic, please, remember, remember, 164 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,384 if most people are vaccinated, 165 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,453 there will be a lot fewer deaths 166 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,822 and hospitalizations than before. 167 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,257 Even if cases shoot up. 168 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,359 Remember. That's the most important thing. 169 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:35,162 So we're not necessarily going back to the bad old days 170 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:38,065 when every day you were scared that one of your loved ones 171 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,067 might send you that "Imagine" video. 172 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,236 -(groans softly) -I mean, I don't know, Trevor. 173 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,171 This-this COVID... 174 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:48,509 This isn't the weak-ass 2020 peacetime COVID. 175 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:52,846 This is the 2022 coming out of European war COVID. 176 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,648 -Aw, man. -This is gonna be strong COVID. 177 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,384 This COVID survived, like, a direct nuclear hit. 178 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,520 -(Noah groans) -It's gonna... It's gonna come to America. 179 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,755 It's gonna infect everybody. 180 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,423 You know, it's-it's gonna be tough. 181 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,725 People are gonna get sick from it. 182 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,460 It's gonna call you the N-word. 183 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,728 -Wait, what? -Right? It's gonna-- it's gonna look 184 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,463 through your tweets and find offensive stuff 185 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,797 and get you canceled. 186 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,699 -Wait, wh-what? -I mean, honestly, I'm reading reports 187 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:16,036 that this spike is gonna be really bad in a few weeks, 188 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,571 especially on April 5. 189 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,740 So I suggest, on that date, 190 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,875 everyone should stay at home 191 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,045 and maybe do less dangerous activities 192 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,148 like watch a Netflix comedy special, 193 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,850 -uh, like mine, um... -(groans) 194 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,719 -...Ronny Chieng: Speakeasy on April 5 on Netflix. -You know... 195 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,288 So tune in. 196 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,124 I thought you were worried... (sighs) 197 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,959 Okay. You know what? 198 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:42,129 Finally, here's a story that's definitely gonna bring you 199 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,464 a little ray of sunshine in these dark days. 200 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,732 Because-- let's be honest, people-- 201 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,335 all of us are pretty stressed out right now. 202 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,504 Right? The pandemic doesn't seem to end. 203 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,841 There's a giant war. There's mega draughts in Africa. 204 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,475 And just yesterday, just yesterday, 205 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,145 my dentist told me that I've been grinding my teeth 206 00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,613 while I sleep. 207 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,881 Which just stressed me out even more, 208 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,250 because how did my dentist get into my bedroom? 209 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,519 But if your favorite coping method 210 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,589 isn't doing the trick anymore, well, 211 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:12,192 there's now a group of experts that you can call for advice. 212 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,095 If you've been feeling mad, frustrated, or nervous, 213 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,763 just know you're not alone. 214 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,433 There is a group of elementary school students 215 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,669 with some positive messages only a phone call away. 216 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,138 Welcome to the Peptoc hotline, 217 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,740 real advice you can use 218 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,076 from the students at West Side Elementary. 219 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,377 The hotline is the brainchild 220 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,446 of West Side art teacher Jessica Martin 221 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,581 and local artist Asherah Weiss. 222 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,950 Two days after we-we went live, 223 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,086 We were getting 500 calls an hour. 224 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,655 And, uh, uh, last I checked, 225 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,957 we were getting 11,000 calls an hour. 226 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,341 Huh? 227 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,744 Just when you thought there was no goodness in the world, 228 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,445 you see something like this. 229 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,148 I don't care what you say. That is the most adorable way 230 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,349 to feel better ever. 231 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,319 You call a five-year-old and they give you advice. 232 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,721 You know? Like, I got to say, I like getting advice from kids 233 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,023 way more than the alternative. 234 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,025 Because if you tell a kid you're stressed, 235 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,460 they're like, "Go buy some ice cream." 236 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,196 That picks you up, you know? 237 00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,564 But if you tell your therapist you're stressed, 238 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,032 what do they do? They're like, 239 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,801 "Let's relive every failed relationship you've ever had." 240 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,636 Yeah. And then just when I'm getting into it, they're like, 241 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,039 "All right, our time is up. Good luck out there, kid." 242 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,307 I will say though, 243 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,075 the effects of kid therapy could go both ways. 244 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,543 You have to consider that. 245 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,812 Because, yes, their advice could make you feel a whole lot better 246 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,748 but then you realize you're taking advice from a child. 247 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,183 Now you're depressed again. 248 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,118 I-I love this service. There's nothing wrong with it. 249 00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:47,054 -Ronny, would you-- would you do th... -Trev-Trevor, hang on. 250 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:50,057 Uh, uh, Peptoc? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh... 251 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,093 So, I've been feeling this, uh, existential dread 252 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,796 from, uh, this pandemic and this, uh, war. 253 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,531 Gas prices are going through the roof. 254 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,700 Also, my Netflix special is coming out on April 5, 255 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,035 and I've been feeling a little insecure about it. 256 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,404 Um, also, my marriage, uh, you know, 257 00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:06,273 I-I wouldn't say we're unhappy, but, you know, it just feels 258 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,075 like there's this silence and... 259 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,843 emptiness that just keeps growing. 260 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,778 Uh, I don't know. Do you have any advice? 261 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,248 Mm-hmm. 262 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,316 What's that? Uh, drink some apple juice? 263 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,118 Okay. 264 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,054 Thank you. You think I haven't tried that?! 265 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,323 These (bleep) kids, man. 266 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,459 (crew members laughing) 267 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,295 I-I think you're missing the point 268 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,930 of what the kid is trying to do, Ronny. 269 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,966 (exhales) I mean, how much juice can one man take? 270 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,268 You know what I'm saying? Like... 271 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,802 Yeah, I-I get it, but the kid-- It's not, like, 272 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:36,970 actually about doing the thing. 273 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,238 It's about the feeling of the kid 274 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,540 -giving you the... -Well, if you can't deliver, 275 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,709 then don't (bleep) start the-the business, all right? 276 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,844 It's not-- it's not a business. 277 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,312 It's a thing to make you feel good. 278 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,080 Well, I tell you, I don't want to get a bill for that shit. 279 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,315 That was completely useless, 280 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,449 -all right? -Yeah, it's not about the bill. 281 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,884 Ronny, it's about the joy. It's like-- 282 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,886 There's some things in life that bring people joy. 283 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,288 Look, if I'm gonna get advice from kids, 284 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,290 I'm not gonna get advice from American kids. 285 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,926 Okay? (stammers) What do you do in kindergarten? 286 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,161 (stammers) Coloring a book? 287 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,297 Dude, in-in Asia, we'd be doing advanced calculus 288 00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:06,300 by this point. I want some Asian kids to give me some advice. 289 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,135 Wow. 290 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,871 You know... S-So grumpy. 291 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,439 You know what you need to do, Ronny? 292 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,541 You need to go on Netflix on April 5 and watch your special. 293 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,410 It'll-it'll probably cheer you up. 294 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,345 All right, thank you so much, Ronny Chieng. 295 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,880 Let's move on to our top story. 296 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:23,083 We are now in the fourth week of Russia's invasion of Ukraine, 297 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,585 Russia's worst decision since 298 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,820 sending their horniest spy to kill James Bond. 299 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,857 So, let's catch up on all the latest updates 300 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,326 in our ongoing coverage of the war in Ukraine. 301 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,561 ♪ ♪ 302 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,400 While Russia's military hasn't had a lot of success recently 303 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,903 in terms of capturing Ukrainian territory, 304 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:46,106 that doesn't mean the military hasn't been successful 305 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,975 at killing Ukrainian civilians. 306 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,144 Every day brings new reports of a hospital, school 307 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:54,248 or shelter being hit by a Russian air strike. 308 00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:56,550 Or entire cities under siege 309 00:11:56,650 --> 00:12:00,053 with no access to food, water or medicine. 310 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,957 And I honestly don't know what the point of it all is. 311 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,094 Like, unless Putin's plan is to win over the Ukrainian people 312 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,062 with the world's largest case of Stockholm syndrome, 313 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,798 What is he doing? But, either way, either way, 314 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,168 Ukraine has been saying for weeks 315 00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:15,736 that Russia is guilty of war crimes. 316 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,404 And now it looks like 317 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,574 the president of the United States agrees. 318 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,509 NEWSMAN: Now to Washington, where President Biden has called 319 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,579 Vladimir Putin a war criminal for the very first time. 320 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:26,914 -He is a war criminal. -(reporters clamoring) 321 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,349 NEWSWOMAN: The White House says President Biden was 322 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,785 "speaking from the heart" about Vladimir Putin's 323 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:35,222 barbaric actions when he made that declaration. 324 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,624 The Kremlin responded to that charge just moments ago, 325 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:41,695 calling it "absolutely unacceptable and inexcusable," 326 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,164 and pointing to the U.S. bombing of Hiroshima 327 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,466 and Nagasaki during World War II. 328 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:49,102 Aw, seriously, Russia? You're gonna bring up something 329 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,805 America did in the '40s? 330 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,774 America's committed plenty of war crimes since then. 331 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:57,411 Keep up with the times, yo. Come with that old shit. 332 00:12:57,511 --> 00:13:00,247 And just because America committed war crimes 333 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,784 doesn't mean that you have to as well, Vladimir Putin, okay? 334 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,319 I mean, what-- if all your friends 335 00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:07,721 jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? 336 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,122 No, seriously, would you? 337 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,791 I'm just brainstorming ways to end this whole thing. 338 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,926 I just want to know what you'd do, you know? 339 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,562 Now, despite being under constant bombardment, 340 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,497 Ukraine's president, Volodymyr Zelensky-- 341 00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:21,435 he's made it clear that he has no plans-- zero, nada-- 342 00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,270 to ever surrender to Russia. 343 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,572 Yeah, practically every day, he releases a new video 344 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,108 reassuring Ukrainians that he's still in charge, 345 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,977 he's still in Kyiv, 346 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,079 and he's still making olive-green T-shirts 347 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,381 the hottest fashion item of 2022. 348 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,885 Although, if you were watching Ukrainian news yesterday, 349 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,954 you might have heard a very different message. 350 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:43,557 A video claiming to show Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky 351 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,093 calling for the Ukrainian people to surrender to Russia 352 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,996 was aired on news station Ukraine 24. 353 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,098 It then circulated on social media. 354 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,101 In the deepfake video, a phony President Zelensky tells 355 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:57,137 Ukrainians to put their weapons down in their war with Russia. 356 00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,207 Digital forensic experts quickly picked it apart, 357 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,709 catching a number of visual and audio glitches. 358 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,345 The official Facebook account for Ukraine's land forces 359 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,649 posted a warning that more videos like this may be coming. 360 00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:11,952 Yeah. You know what's funny is the first time I saw a deepfake, 361 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,588 the first time, I wondered when it would finally be used 362 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,456 for something dangerous in the world. 363 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:19,059 Like, something actually meaningful. 'Cause you realize, 364 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,794 like, some Ukrainians could have seen this video 365 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,496 and actually surrendered. 366 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:24,965 And the only reason they spotted this was because of 367 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,634 small discrepancies and also because the fake Zelensky 368 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,803 said Putin had a big dick and he's a karate king. 369 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,205 I mean, that sort of gave it away. 370 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,473 But you realize why deepfakes are so scary, right? 371 00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:36,076 It's because they can make you think that anyone 372 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,644 was doing anything, even if they weren't. 373 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,346 Like, for instance, for instance, have you seen-- 374 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:42,649 there's a video of me online where they make it look like 375 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,719 I was crying at the end of the Jurassic World. 376 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:48,689 Which is ridiculous. Why-why would I-- why would I cry 377 00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:51,992 just-just because that one dinosaur-- p-p-- 378 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,795 fought with the other dinosaur, like... 379 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,997 I like dinosaurs. Why are they killing each other? 380 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,499 Why do dinosaurs biting each other? 381 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,635 (crying) Why are they doing that? 382 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:05,205 You see? They did it again. That was... 383 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,407 The point is... the point is, this was a bullshit way 384 00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:09,643 for Russia to try and win this war. Yeah. 385 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,812 Which is why we at The Daily Show decided 386 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,146 we're getting back at Putin 387 00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:15,449 by releasing our own deepfake video. 388 00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:18,051 It's me, Vladimir Putin. 389 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,487 I made boo-boo invading Ukraine, 390 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:24,258 and I just pooped my pants. 391 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:28,462 Ha! Checkmate, Putin. 392 00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:31,932 Now we don't know for sure who's behind this deepfake, 393 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,667 but it obviously wouldn't be shocking 394 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,202 if it was the work of the Russian government 395 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,437 since fake news is kind of their whole thing right now. 396 00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:39,907 In fact, if you turn on Russia state media, 397 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,577 you'd probably hear that Ukraine was the aggressor in this war, 398 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,913 and that Russia had no choice but to defend itself. 399 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,348 And also, that the war is going great 400 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,217 and if a few thousand Russian soldiers don't come home, 401 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,752 it's not because they're dead. 402 00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,287 It's because they're on a permanent vacation. 403 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,222 You know how it is. 404 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,124 And believe it or not, believe it or not, 405 00:15:57,224 --> 00:16:00,827 the Russian government is being helped in this propaganda effort 406 00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:04,431 by conservative TV networks in the United States. 407 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,166 Yeah, as wild as it sounds, 408 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:10,070 channels like Fox News, Newsmax and OAN-- 409 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,040 they've been so friendly to Putin's narrative 410 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:17,177 that Russian TV stations have even reportedly been ordered 411 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:22,049 to play clips of Tucker Carlson on its broadcasts. 412 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,851 And that's a smart move by Tucker, you know? 413 00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:25,786 You might be like, "Why is he defending the Russians?" 414 00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:27,354 Yeah, it's a smart move. 415 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,524 You don't want all your eggs in the Trump propaganda basket. 416 00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,426 You got to diversify, you know? 417 00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:34,828 Think about other bad guys you could roll with. 418 00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,497 Putin, Kim Jong-un, hey, maybe The Joker. 419 00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:39,499 Are we really supposed to believe 420 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,169 a Batman is keeping our streets safer? 421 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,770 Why is that? 422 00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:45,339 But the point is, 423 00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,408 America's conservative media is doing almost as good a job 424 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:53,380 at spreading Russian propaganda as Russia itself, 425 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,483 which is why we thought now's the perfect time 426 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,553 for a good old-fashioned Propagand-Off! 427 00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:01,688 ♪ ♪ 428 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:11,131 Ukraine wasn't a thing until 1989. 429 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,466 Ukraine was created by the Russians. 430 00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,568 It was... You know, they speak Russian. 431 00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:26,580 So, yes, we're funding secret bio labs in Ukraine. 432 00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:43,163 Just like we would not want Russia to come in 433 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,465 and start putting their tanks and missiles on our borders, 434 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,402 Russia says "Hey, I don't want U.S. and NATO coming 435 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,237 "and making their military outposts 436 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,639 on our borders within Ukraine." 437 00:17:56,910 --> 00:18:00,047 (translated): Rampant neo-Nazism in Ukraine itself. 438 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:02,449 There were Nazis in Ukrainian divisions, 439 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,585 and there still are Ukrainian Nazis. 440 00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:06,186 You can find pictures of them online 441 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,755 holding up the NATO flag and the swastika. 442 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,927 Remember that Zelensky is a thug. 443 00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,329 Remember the Ukrainian government 444 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:17,764 is incredibly corrupt and is incredibly evil. 445 00:18:17,865 --> 00:18:21,835 (translated): ...an illegal coup in Kyiv in February 2014 446 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,037 with the support of the United States 447 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,440 where the legitimately-elected president 448 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,675 of the country was overthrown. 449 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,512 A country which government only exists 450 00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:33,881 because of the Obama state department helped 451 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,916 to overthrow the previous regime. 452 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,225 Look, Russia is now being cancelled. 453 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,794 All right, when we come back, Desi Lydic checks in 454 00:18:47,895 --> 00:18:49,363 with the Russians we shouldn't be blaming. 455 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,064 You don't want to miss it. 456 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,033 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 457 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,003 Since the start of Russia's war against Ukraine, 458 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,572 everyone has been looking for a way to help Ukraine 459 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,474 and get back at Russia. 460 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:05,211 But it turns out some people are doing it the wrong way. 461 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,979 And Desi Lydic has more. 462 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,381 ♪ ♪ 463 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,883 DESI: Like pride flags in June, freedom fries after 9/11, 464 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,487 or black squares on social media, Americans have a knack 465 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,890 for making real change with their creative activism. 466 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,160 And, no surprise, now they're turning their focus to Russia. 467 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:24,130 Russian restaurants here in the U.S. that once proudly displayed 468 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,966 the county's heritage are feeling repercussions 469 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,068 from a war thousands of miles away. 470 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,637 A new call this morning to ban the sale of Russian 471 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,306 alcohol here in New York. 472 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,175 DESI: Surely, these savvy New Yorkers know a Putin supporter 473 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:37,777 when they see one, right? 474 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,112 But are these businesses really in the pockets 475 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,648 of Russian oligarchs? And how much are they sending back 476 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:43,950 to Putin himself? 477 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,053 As a true patriot, I had to find out how well our boycott 478 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,587 strategy was working. 479 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,058 My first stop, a Russian front-- sorry, restaurant-- 480 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,060 in the West Village, Tzarevna. 481 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,362 Sounds suspicious already. 482 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,965 -Did Putin help you set up this place? -No, no. 483 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,700 How much of a share does he have in this business? 484 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,134 None that I'm aware of. 485 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,502 If I order the borscht, 486 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,071 how much of it will go back into his hands? 487 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,606 Presumably none. 488 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:08,941 It's here somewhere. 489 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,043 -(hitting bar) -(Lydic clears throat) 490 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,614 -Where's the yacht? -There's no yacht. 491 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,849 LYDIC: I wasn't able to find the spy stuff at Ricky's, 492 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,085 but a restaurant with "Russian" in the name 493 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,087 must be a front for Moscow loyalists. 494 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:24,490 I went to the Russian Samovar to meet with the owner. 495 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,093 Look at this guy. He's got to be in Putin's pocket. 496 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,327 You brought this out for me? 497 00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:29,395 Yeah. 498 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:30,863 -Misha Von Shats. -Yeah. 499 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,099 -That's your real name? -That's my real name. 500 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,667 Misha want a shot. 501 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,236 Do you always refer to yourself in the third person? 502 00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,338 Misha sometimes does. 503 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,874 -Oh, this is gonna be a long shoot. -Yeah. 504 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,276 You know what, you should probably try this first. 505 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,645 -I know what Russia does to journalists. -Oh. 506 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,348 -Mmm! -Mmm. 507 00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,918 What is your most popular dish and drink here? 508 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:56,188 Uh, no surprise, chicken Kiev. 509 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:59,458 And how has business been up until this point? 510 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,895 Uh, business was just getting, uh, good again 511 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,463 coming out of the pandemic. 512 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,832 And then because we have "Russian" in the name, 513 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,101 we're automatically vilified. 514 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,637 You know, just 'cause we are a "Russian" establishment 515 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,940 doesn't mean we write a check to Putin or the regime. 516 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,508 We're standing with Ukraine 517 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,310 and our staff that is mostly Ukrainian. 518 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,844 People don't understand many Ukrainians 519 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,013 work for Russian establishments, 520 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,581 and by blackballing the business, 521 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,918 you're hurting them earning their wages and their tips 522 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,721 where they need to send it back home to help theirs, 523 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,623 which becomes a problem, as well. 524 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,693 Where exactly do you stand on this war? 525 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,062 We stand behind all Russian New Yorkers 526 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,164 when we say that violence is not the answer 527 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,467 and we are here to make borscht, not war. 528 00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:46,105 How has your business changed since this war started? 529 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,708 Since the first week of the war, we definitely noticed 530 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,876 a big decline in business and revenue. 531 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,546 We probably see about half of what we normally do. 532 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,814 Just people not coming in. 533 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,683 Americans have a way of sort of... 534 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,486 not knowing exactly where to put their activism 535 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,656 and sort of misunderstanding a proper boycott. 536 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:04,824 -Yeah. -Is that what's happening in this situation? 537 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,826 That's sort of what's happening, yeah. 538 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,428 They-they like to assume that maybe the Russians in New York, 539 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,831 by maybe hurting us, 540 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,332 it might hurt Russians back home. 541 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:15,001 When, in reality, 542 00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:18,938 the Russians that are here left Russia for a reason. 543 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:21,207 LYDIC: Could it be that our protest strategy 544 00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:22,842 was punishing the wrong people? 545 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,678 I mean, these guys are even part Ukrainian themselves. 546 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,713 This is worse than the time my sister went to jail 547 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,383 because our DNA profiles are so similar. 548 00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,385 Business dropped, like, uh, overnight. 549 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,953 We were just getting threats and calls, 550 00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,621 calling us all types of names-- 551 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,390 Nazis, this and that. 552 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,358 And being of Jewish descent, 553 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:41,894 isn't always a-a nice thing to deal with. 554 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,096 And-and that's happening pretty frequently? 555 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,765 On a constant basis, yeah. 556 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,633 It's time for another shot. 557 00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,069 -I'm... (stammers) That's okay. -Yeah? 558 00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:51,604 -I'm-- Yeah, I better not. -Yeah. Yeah, it's all right. 559 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,205 -Okay, I'll do it. Okay. -You know? Yeah. That-- 560 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:54,607 -There we go. -Okay. 561 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,243 (gulps) 562 00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:58,577 Oh, you went for the whole thing. Okay. 563 00:22:58,678 --> 00:22:59,679 I don't want to be rude. 564 00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,280 You sure you're not a Russian spy? 565 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,082 You drank that like a Russian. 566 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,919 I'm so sorry that your business is suffering 567 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,222 and that Americans are so misguided on this whole thing. 568 00:23:10,323 --> 00:23:11,490 I want to support your business. 569 00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:13,592 You know what? I'll take one of everything. 570 00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,995 Round of drinks for everyone! 571 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:17,463 Well, there's no one in here, 572 00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:18,931 but you-you get the idea. 573 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,132 Just e-everything. 574 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:23,035 We can get you our... 575 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,303 Russian kid juice. 576 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,504 Yes! 577 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:26,505 Cheers. 578 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,007 And to wash that down, 579 00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:30,610 some of our famous borscht. 580 00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,411 Nice! 581 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:35,748 Okay, I've very much been looking forward to this. 582 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,650 What is in this? 583 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,453 So, beets and beef and potato. 584 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:43,956 -Ooh. -All Russians' favorite thing. 585 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:44,957 Mmm. 586 00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:46,959 I have a slight beet allergy, 587 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,761 -but it'll be fine. -(chuckles) 588 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,296 Oh, it's so good. 589 00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:52,798 I'm not gonna let that get in the way. 590 00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,601 What would be your message to Americans 591 00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:57,336 -during this time? -Uh, my message to Americans 592 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,006 is, uh, don't vilify anything or anybody that is Russian. 593 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,174 We didn't start this war. It's Putin's war. 594 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,210 One final question. 595 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:06,512 Why so many beets? 596 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,080 Why not? 597 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,815 It's full of vitamins and minerals. 598 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,586 (gags) 599 00:24:13,686 --> 00:24:15,488 (vomiting) 600 00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:17,590 Well, if one thing is abundantly clear, 601 00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:20,393 it's that that New Yorkers have gotten this one all wrong, 602 00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:23,362 and the only Russian asshole in this war is Putin. 603 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,398 Now the only thing left to do 604 00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:28,901 is to support my fellow Americans. 605 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,836 Thank you so much for that, Desi. All right, people, 606 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,571 don't go away, because when we come back, 607 00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:34,140 you know how people always say, 608 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,309 "If you don't like America, you should just leave"? 609 00:24:36,409 --> 00:24:38,978 Well, we're gonna talk to someone who actually did that. 610 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:40,646 So stay tuned. 611 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,515 Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight 612 00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:46,118 is journalist and author Tiffanie Drayton. 613 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,488 Her new memoir is about how her family came to America 614 00:24:49,588 --> 00:24:52,924 for a better life, and why she returned to Trinidad and Tobago 615 00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,327 because she felt they couldn't find it. 616 00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:57,429 Tiffanie Drayton, welcome to The Daily Show. 617 00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:58,897 Thank you so much for having me, Trevor. 618 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,198 You know, you have one of the 619 00:25:00,298 --> 00:25:02,300 most interesting takes in this book. 620 00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:04,136 You do not want to be middle of the road. 621 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:05,704 You very much want to speak your piece. 622 00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:07,906 Black American Refugee. 623 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:10,876 You say something that-that I think a lot of people feel, 624 00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:12,811 but you have acted on. You have gone, 625 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:16,214 "America is not my friend as a Black American person, 626 00:25:16,315 --> 00:25:18,417 and so, for-- because of that, I'm leaving." 627 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,752 -Absolutely. -So when you say "Black American refugee," 628 00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:22,954 that's a, that's a very specific title to choose for a book, 629 00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,489 because you don't say Black American immigrant, 630 00:25:24,589 --> 00:25:25,991 -Precisely. -You say Black American refugee, 631 00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:28,060 -which implies some sort of fleeing. -Mm-hmm. 632 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,194 You know? You're leaving the place. 633 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:30,796 -You're living in exile now. -Mm-hmm. 634 00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:33,131 I would love to understand the thought behind that, 635 00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,300 because many would say, "Oh, but you chose to leave and you, 636 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,769 you could stay, as well." But you argue in the book-- 637 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,571 -You couldn't stay. Staying wasn't -Right. 638 00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:41,807 actually an option for you if you wanted to live a life. 639 00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:44,609 Right. And that's when you have to really take a good look 640 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:47,512 at systemic oppression 641 00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,047 and what that does to an individual. 642 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:50,983 So, when I made that decision to leave, 643 00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,485 I was being oppressed in so many ways. 644 00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:55,120 Whether it be the withholding of your diploma, 645 00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,922 the, uh, living in a neighborhood 646 00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,124 that is rife with violence. 647 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:01,994 Uh, these are all things that I was experiencing at that time. 648 00:26:02,094 --> 00:26:03,261 And then on top of that, 649 00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:05,764 to add an additional layer of trauma, 650 00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:08,633 I was in a narcissistic, abusive relationship. 651 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,436 And that's something that's more common 652 00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:15,340 with people who are of an oppressed minority. 653 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,142 You realize it's so hard 654 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,778 to not find yourself in abusive dynamics 655 00:26:19,878 --> 00:26:22,447 because-- guess what-- everybody is existing 656 00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:23,815 in a way that's so traumatic 657 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:26,518 and so full of constant distress. 658 00:26:26,618 --> 00:26:29,454 And not only that but, you know, we internalize 659 00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:33,759 so many of the messages from our abusers 660 00:26:33,859 --> 00:26:35,260 and, in this case, 661 00:26:35,293 --> 00:26:38,296 this larger structure of systemic oppression, right? 662 00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,632 For example, you know, so many Black people 663 00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:43,368 internalize ideas of self-hate 664 00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:45,037 that they would have learned from the media 665 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:48,040 that brands us thugs or crack babies 666 00:26:48,206 --> 00:26:49,408 -or welfare queens. -Right, right. 667 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,677 All of these brands and all of these labels. 668 00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:55,213 And, so, my decision to leave was really born of my desire 669 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,982 to even free myself from those labels, 670 00:26:57,082 --> 00:26:59,418 and that's what I was able to do by going back to Trinidad. 671 00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:01,386 There are... There are pros and cons to every country. 672 00:27:01,486 --> 00:27:03,322 -Absolutely. -I have friends from Trinidad who'll be like, 673 00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:05,390 "Man, Trevor, I wish I lived in America. 674 00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:07,492 "There's opportunities. There's ways you can do things. 675 00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:09,628 There's... It seems like there's upward mobility." 676 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:10,996 Trinidad is so small. 677 00:27:11,096 --> 00:27:12,464 It's-it's a community. It's a village. 678 00:27:12,564 --> 00:27:14,666 But it also feels constricting at times. 679 00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,468 Do you... Do you not think it's just a case 680 00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:17,969 of maybe the grass being greener? 681 00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:19,538 Or do you... do you think it's something 682 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,540 that you've chosen to weigh up and go, "You know what? 683 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,710 "Me feeling being Black is not an issue 684 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:25,944 "is worth more to me 685 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,846 than the ease of upward mobility"? 686 00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:29,915 Or do you think upward mobility itself doesn't even exist? 687 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,750 I-I feel like, you know, 688 00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:34,953 when you recognize that you are in a caste system, 689 00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:38,657 it is true that upward mobility may exist for the few, 690 00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:41,793 but what does that say about the majority? 691 00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:43,895 And is there truly upward mobility if, 692 00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,397 when you move into that rich neighborhood 693 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,265 or you start driving that BMW, 694 00:27:47,366 --> 00:27:50,402 you are still under the same threat of white supremacy? 695 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:53,672 Is it truly upward mobility if you have to be afraid 696 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:57,075 to gift your child a car that's expensive 697 00:27:57,209 --> 00:28:00,045 because a police officer may shoot that child 698 00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:01,947 because they think that the child stole the car 699 00:28:02,047 --> 00:28:03,215 -just because they're Black? -Mm-hmm. 700 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:08,453 You know, I think that we can only view mobility 701 00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:11,223 in terms of maybe our economic circumstances. 702 00:28:11,289 --> 00:28:13,258 But when that brand of blackness 703 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,628 puts you at the bottom rungs of a society, 704 00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,997 there is really no way to escape that, 705 00:28:19,097 --> 00:28:22,267 aside from destroying that very system 706 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:26,238 that seeks to put people in that rung and keep them there. 707 00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,240 I like that you say "caste system." 708 00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:29,741 -'Cause it is that. -Yeah, but I think 709 00:28:29,841 --> 00:28:31,510 people don't understand what a caste system actually is 710 00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:32,944 -all the time, right? So... -No, they don't. They're like, 711 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,480 "But it's not India." It's like, it doesn't have to be India. 712 00:28:35,580 --> 00:28:37,516 -Right. Yes. -It could be the American version. 713 00:28:37,616 --> 00:28:39,117 But I still-- I often say to people 714 00:28:39,251 --> 00:28:41,186 we're still dealing with a very basic level of it. 715 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:43,755 Because, here, it's still-- Like, we're still, like-- 716 00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,757 I always think of-- If-if I was playing a video game, 717 00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:48,660 race is still, like, almost, like, the first boss. 718 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,429 Do you know what I mean? They're still gonna-- 719 00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,531 Like, classism is still gonna come in as the next boss, 720 00:28:52,631 --> 00:28:54,533 -which is almost what, like, the racism is hiding. -Eh... 721 00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,401 -You don't think so? -I mean... No, absolutely not. 722 00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:58,103 -Because, ultimately... -You don't think so? 723 00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:01,540 Darling, let's go take a trip down MLK. 724 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,775 Let's got-- take a trip down Malcolm X. 725 00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,277 In fact, let's go to Barack Obama schools 726 00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:06,611 -across the United States of America... -Yeah. 727 00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:08,680 ...tell me about class not being interconnected with race. 728 00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:10,048 No, I'm not saying not interconnected. 729 00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:11,416 -No, no, no. -It is actually part of the same thing. 730 00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,119 -Yes. Yeah. -Because the class system in America, 731 00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:17,222 -remember, the-- you brought enslaved people... -Yes. Yes. 732 00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:18,857 -...to act as your... -Completely with you. 733 00:29:18,957 --> 00:29:20,826 -Completely with you. -And from that moment, 734 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:23,228 you built a system around oppressing them. 735 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,230 -Right. -So that you can constantly use their bodies 736 00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:27,232 to profit from. Let's look at mass incarceration. 737 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:28,967 -Let's... -And I'm not saying not interconnected. 738 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,502 This is what I'm saying, as a-- as a-- This is what... 739 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:32,938 No, one and the same. Like this. Hand in glove. 740 00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:35,007 -In America. It may not be everywhere. -Oh, yeah, yeah! 741 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,808 -They may be intertwined now, yes, yes, yes. -In-in America, 742 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:38,610 -you built both systems simultaneously. -Yes. Right. 743 00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:39,945 -Right. -I mean, it's a very young country. 744 00:29:40,045 --> 00:29:41,480 -It's not like it's a brand-new country. -Yes. 745 00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:42,981 -That's the thing. -It's not like it's a very old country. 746 00:29:43,081 --> 00:29:46,084 And that's-that's what I'm saying. People, I think, don't 747 00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:48,520 seem to-- So, I-I appreciate that you said it like that. 748 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,688 -Mm-hmm. -So, okay, let's look at America, 749 00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:51,356 -as an example, right? -Mm-hmm. 750 00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,259 The thing I always try and explain to people is this. 751 00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:57,095 The system that exists screws over 752 00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,698 -so many white people as well, right? -Agreed. 753 00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:02,434 Because there are so many white people who are kept poor 754 00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:04,436 by a system that has taught them that 755 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,204 Black people are coming to take your shit, 756 00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:07,806 -Precisely. -so you need to fight the Black people, 757 00:30:07,906 --> 00:30:09,241 -when in fact-- -And that's what the caste system does. 758 00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:11,410 -If you look at the history of America, right? -Yes. 759 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:14,046 -"Europeans" of all sorts can come to America -Mm-hmm. 760 00:30:14,212 --> 00:30:15,814 -and eventually assimilate. -Right. 761 00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:19,818 -You absorb the whiter folks so that your power -Yes. 762 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:23,021 is maintained. But that doesn't -Yes. Completely agree 763 00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:25,624 -with you. -But the key thing is that the white is on one end 764 00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:27,492 -and the Black is on the other. -Yes. 765 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,995 So, anybody who falls off into that Black category... 766 00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:32,597 -Yes. -Like, if you're dealing with descendants of slaves 767 00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,466 -who are American... -Uh-huh. 768 00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:37,436 Um... they know it's a caste system. 769 00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:38,770 -There's no question for them, because -Right, right. 770 00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:41,973 they see how there is no, like... 771 00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:44,176 -generational wealth. -Yes. 772 00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:45,811 -Where? Where-where's it at? -Right. 773 00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:47,646 Like, the average white family has, like, 16 times 774 00:30:47,746 --> 00:30:49,181 the amount of generational wealth. 775 00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:51,550 -So, to say it's not race, that's just... -No, no, no. 776 00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,552 I'm not saying it is not race. This is what I'm saying. Okay. 777 00:30:53,652 --> 00:30:55,187 -It's the same. They're... -Let's look at... Let's... Yes. 778 00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:56,822 -They're like, "Uh." -But I'm saying, they are intertwined 779 00:30:56,922 --> 00:30:58,190 but I don't think they're the same thing, 780 00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,558 and I'll tell you why. 781 00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,193 Let's look at immigrants who come to America. 782 00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:03,228 -That first generation will come from a place and go... -Mm-hmm. 783 00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:04,963 -Mm-hmm. -"Ah, I was given opportunities. 784 00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:07,032 "I could make something of it. Yes, I had to be a taxi driver. 785 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,834 I had to be this." Etcetera, etcetera, whatever it is. 786 00:31:08,934 --> 00:31:11,403 -And they'll go, "But my kids now do this." -Right. 787 00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,205 "I came from this place, and now my kids do this." 788 00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:16,308 Then, ironically, their kids who are Black American 789 00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:18,944 are now promised a dream like MLK said. 790 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:21,213 So immigrants will go, "This is not my country. 791 00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:23,215 "Ergo, the promise is not to me 792 00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:24,716 so the country's not failing me." 793 00:31:24,816 --> 00:31:26,218 They have American children. 794 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:28,320 The American children go, "I have a promise." 795 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:31,456 Then the promise is not fulfilled, which creates... 796 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,225 You know, I want to give you another thing 797 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:34,526 -to think about as we're on this. -Yes. 798 00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:35,961 Because if you want to look generationally, 799 00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:37,295 like, my mother-- 800 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:38,864 when she came to the United States of America, 801 00:31:38,964 --> 00:31:40,265 despite the fact that she worked as a nanny 802 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:41,566 and then eventually became a nurse-- 803 00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,335 she was actually a very educated woman. 804 00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,771 Now for her to give her children that same level 805 00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:48,006 of access to education, uh, 806 00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:50,375 we ventured to three or four states. 807 00:31:50,475 --> 00:31:54,279 So it requires so much effort to extract. 808 00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:55,881 -I'm completely with you, yeah. -Especially, like, within... 809 00:31:55,981 --> 00:31:57,616 If you look at the education system, like, 810 00:31:57,716 --> 00:31:59,384 if are you in a majority Black school, it's going 811 00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:01,820 -to be hot garbage, and that's just a fact. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 812 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,822 In other countries, that's not going 813 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,190 to be the thing that's holding you back. 814 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:06,491 It's not gonna be the fact that you're Black 815 00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:07,826 that you can't get a good education. 816 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,361 -That may play into it, like you say. -Yes. Yes. 817 00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,963 That's where you see more of those class-based situations. 818 00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:13,398 -Where we see the stitching, yes. -But in the United States 819 00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:16,234 of America, as soon as you bring your Blackity Black kids 820 00:32:16,335 --> 00:32:18,403 from Africa or from wherever, and you think that, you know, 821 00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,672 these titles of being "immigrant" of "Trinidadian" 822 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,274 or whatever are gonna protect you, 823 00:32:22,374 --> 00:32:24,042 -perhaps they might give you a blinder. -That's what I mean. 824 00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:25,610 But for your children, they're gonna have to experience 825 00:32:25,711 --> 00:32:27,346 what it is like to be educated 826 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:30,248 in the education system of the United States of America, 827 00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:32,284 and it ain't got no time for us, I'll put it that way. 828 00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:33,819 -I'll tell you this. Tiffanie Drayton... -Mm-hmm. 829 00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:35,253 ...you've written an engaging book, 830 00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:36,722 which is one of my favorite books to read. 831 00:32:36,822 --> 00:32:38,223 There are things I agree with, there are things 832 00:32:38,323 --> 00:32:39,691 I disagree with, there are things that are new to me. 833 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:40,959 I hope everybody reads it for that reason. 834 00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:42,160 Thank you so much for joining me on the show. 835 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:44,162 Thank you so much for having me. 836 00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:45,931 All right, people, Tiffanie Drayton's memoir, 837 00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:48,367 Black American Refugee, is available right now. 838 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:49,768 We're gonna take a quick break, 839 00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,069 but we'll be right back after this. 840 00:32:54,638 --> 00:32:56,307 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 841 00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:57,741 in honor of Women's History Month, The Daily Show partnered 842 00:32:57,842 --> 00:32:59,677 with Lolly Lolly Ceramics to create three 843 00:32:59,777 --> 00:33:01,579 special edition Daily Show mugs. 844 00:33:01,679 --> 00:33:04,281 All month long, you've seen Lolly Lolly's mugs 845 00:33:04,381 --> 00:33:07,618 right here on our desk, and you've got one last chance 846 00:33:07,718 --> 00:33:09,153 to buy a mug of your very own. 847 00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:10,988 Remember, they're limited. This is it. They are done. 848 00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:13,123 So, if you want to support a Black-owned 849 00:33:13,224 --> 00:33:15,559 women-run small business and look fresh 850 00:33:15,659 --> 00:33:18,429 while drinking your coffee, head to the link below. 851 00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:20,531 The Daily Show will be taking a little break 852 00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:21,765 for the next few weeks. 853 00:33:21,866 --> 00:33:23,367 But the good news is, the good news is 854 00:33:23,467 --> 00:33:24,835 the reason that we're doing that is because 855 00:33:24,935 --> 00:33:28,839 next time you see us, we'll have our audience back! 856 00:33:28,939 --> 00:33:30,674 You see, if there was an audience here, 857 00:33:30,774 --> 00:33:32,109 they would have cheered for that. 858 00:33:32,209 --> 00:33:33,777 That's why I need an audience. Yeah. 859 00:33:33,878 --> 00:33:36,514 Anyway, um, I just wanted to thank you, 860 00:33:36,614 --> 00:33:39,617 every single one of you who has been with us 861 00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:42,820 on this crazy, two-year journey. Yeah. 862 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,488 Like, sometimes I have to stop myself to think 863 00:33:44,588 --> 00:33:46,357 about how wild it is, from not knowing 864 00:33:46,457 --> 00:33:48,959 if we'd still be able to do a show in a pandemic, 865 00:33:49,059 --> 00:33:50,995 to doing the show from my apartment, 866 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,930 to doing it here at, like... 867 00:33:53,030 --> 00:33:54,932 Like, where are we actually? What is this even? 868 00:33:55,032 --> 00:33:56,800 You know? What is this? Is this purgatory? 869 00:33:56,901 --> 00:33:58,669 What is this thing? 870 00:33:58,769 --> 00:34:01,205 Anyway, we're gonna be back with an audience. 871 00:34:01,305 --> 00:34:04,975 And, hey, maybe we'll see you in the audience. 872 00:34:05,075 --> 00:34:06,710 You're welcome to join us at the show. 873 00:34:06,810 --> 00:34:10,814 Until then, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember, 874 00:34:10,915 --> 00:34:13,317 if are you using someone else's Netflix account, 875 00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:14,718 you better watch everything now 876 00:34:14,818 --> 00:34:17,054 because it could all be over soon. 877 00:34:17,154 --> 00:34:20,024 Now here it is-- Your Moment of Zen. 878 00:34:20,124 --> 00:34:23,994 I got this message, this morning from Bono. 879 00:34:24,094 --> 00:34:29,567 And he said, "Ireland's sorrow and pain is now the Ukraine, 880 00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:33,571 and Saint Patrick's name is now Zelenskyy." 881 00:34:33,671 --> 00:34:35,506 (audience gasping, applauding) 882 00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,909 Ah. (mumbles) 883 00:34:39,009 --> 00:34:43,013 Okay, we're ready to welcome straight here in the Capitol 884 00:34:43,113 --> 00:34:46,450 -of the United States. Riverdance. -(clapping) -Yeah.