1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,970 The Senate just voted unanimously 2 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,339 to permanently stay on daylight savings time. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,341 Unanimously, people. 4 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,876 Across the board. This-- Obviously, it still has 5 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,978 to pass the House and e-- Yeah, but they were like, "No, 6 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,946 "this is terrible. This clock's moving backwards, 7 00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,348 "forwards, backwards, forwards. 8 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,083 We just want to stay on daylight savings." 9 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,118 Or, as the rest of the world calls it, time. 10 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:21,088 Think about how nobody agrees on anything in this country. 11 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,124 And the Senate, guys. Everyone. 12 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,560 Elizabeth Warren, Mitch McConnell, 13 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,562 all of them were like, "Yeah, 14 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,330 we all agree on this thing." 15 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:31,532 That is why-- 16 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,800 'Cause I love looking for moments in life 17 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,270 where you can find the common humanity. 18 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,339 To know that I hate the clock switching, 19 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,342 to know that Mitch McConnell also shares that hate with me, 20 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,477 as a human being-- 21 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,811 do you know how beautiful that is? 22 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,513 Knowing that there's some mornings I wake up 23 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,982 and I'm like-- I look at the clock and I'm like... (screams) 24 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,519 And wherever he is, he's like... "Mah..." 25 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,488 That, guys, that gives me hope. 26 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,057 -♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square, 27 00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,127 in New York City, the only city in America, 28 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,429 it's The Daily Show. 29 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,499 Tonight, Dolly can't win. 30 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,901 We need to talk about Kimye. 31 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,938 And Deepak Chopra. 32 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:15,943 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 33 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,945 Hey! What's going on, everybody? 34 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,780 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 35 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,549 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 36 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ ♪ 37 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,187 We begin with the latest developments 38 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,857 in the Russian invasion of Ukraine. 39 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,658 This morning, the prime ministers 40 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,827 of three European countries-- 41 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,830 Poland, Slovenia, and the Czech Republic-- 42 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,433 took the extraordinary step of meeting 43 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,870 with Ukrainian leaders in Kyiv 44 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:47,107 as a sign of Europe's "unequivocal support." 45 00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,010 Which, guys, you got to admit, that's really admirable. 46 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,246 I mean, these people are having an in-person meeting 47 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,481 in an active war zone. 48 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,551 Meanwhile, some of us are too scared to go back to the office. 49 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,620 Yeah. I mean, we say it's about COVID, 50 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,389 but it's really about Dave at the water cooler. 51 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,192 And with the outside world stepping up its pressure 52 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,728 on Russia, Russia is now fighting back. 53 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,330 Yeah. In a classic move of "I know you are but what am I?," 54 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,966 Russia has just announced that it is slapping sanctions 55 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,801 on high-profile American targets, 56 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,770 including President Biden, 57 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,106 White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, 58 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,475 Hillary Clinton, and Hunter Biden. 59 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,609 Yes. 60 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,711 Russia says that they will no longer 61 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,446 be able to travel to Russia 62 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:30,551 and any assets that they have in Russia have been frozen. 63 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,287 Which, I mean, sounds ridiculous, right? 64 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:37,291 I-I doubt any of those people have any assets in Russia. 65 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,492 Especially Joe Biden. 66 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:39,793 Right? He just keeps all of his money 67 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,195 hidden behind his nephew's ear. 68 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,629 What? 69 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,398 Now, of course, Russia is carrying out 70 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:48,135 a way more serious crackdown on its own citizens, 71 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:53,006 with laws in place against protesting the war in any way. 72 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,276 And some Russians have been trying to find a loophole, 73 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,112 rah, turning out in public to not protest anything. 74 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,214 That's what they've been doing. 75 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,349 Which is actually a pretty clever idea. 76 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,219 But it turns out the Russian government is not laughing. 77 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:08,589 Meanwhile, in Russia, protestors continue to be arrested. 78 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,657 According to this video by activists, 79 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:14,194 this woman holds up a sign that simply reads two words 80 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,829 before police take her away. 81 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,232 NEWSWOMAN: Over 14,000 people have been arrested 82 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,167 for protesting the war in Ukraine. 83 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,369 Russian police have even detained people 84 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,771 for carrying blank signs. 85 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,808 Damn, that is next-level censorship right there. 86 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:28,942 Imagine that. 87 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,345 Even people holding up blank signs, 88 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,681 nothing on it, are getting arrested in Russia. 89 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,850 I mean, think about it. If you see a blank sign, 90 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:40,287 and you automatically assume people are criticizing you, 91 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,822 that's your insecurity showing. 92 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,557 Yeah, they clearly think they have something to be ashamed of. 93 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,992 'Cause let me tell you something. 94 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,627 If I saw a blank sign, 95 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,095 someone just standing outside The Daily Show 96 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,997 holding a blank sign, yeah, I'd just be like, 97 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,099 "Why, yes, I have lost weight, thank you!" 98 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,468 (laughs) "You don't see it? I see it." 99 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,638 So, according to reports, the Russian government 100 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,774 has now arrested over 14,000 protestors, 101 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,710 which may not seem like a huge number, but remember this. 102 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,779 For Russia, where getting arrested at a protest 103 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:09,783 might mean your life is over, 14,000 is a lot. 104 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,152 I mean, to put that in terms Putin would appreciate, 105 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,290 14,000 is like two tables worth of people. 106 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,891 Moving on to economic news. 107 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,826 As you know, the entire world 108 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,062 is facing massive supply chain issues. 109 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,565 And with companies unable to solve this problem, 110 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,701 some are finding a way to work around it. 111 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,804 Ford Motor Company is taking some drastic steps 112 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,140 as they deal with a computer chip shortage. 113 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,543 They'll now ship some Explorers without computer chips 114 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,146 for the rear air conditioning and heat controls. 115 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,114 The missing semiconductors will be sent 116 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,383 to dealers to install within a year. 117 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,553 It's a way for Ford to get Explorers to customers faster 118 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,088 during the shortage. 119 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,258 The AC and heat can still be controlled from the front seats. 120 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,260 Ford says customers buying an Explorer 121 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,963 without the chips will get a price reduction. 122 00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:00,467 Bravo, Ford. This is smart. 123 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:05,172 Huh? Instead of delaying sales because of chip shortages, 124 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,641 Ford is just going to give you the car unfinished, 125 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,111 and then you can install the chip later on. 126 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,847 I mean, essentially, Ford is using the same tricks 127 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,482 that we use in relationships. 128 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,451 Yeah, you tell someone when you meet them, 129 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,119 "Look, I'm not a perfect person right now, 130 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,521 "but if you give me a year or two, 131 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,389 I'm gonna get my shit together." 132 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:26,927 Now, you won't get your shit together, but you made the sale. 133 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,096 And not for nothing, not for nothing, 134 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,231 but anyone who's ever bought a new car knows 135 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,166 the experience of trying to get the price knocked down 136 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,902 by removing some of the bells and whistles, right? 137 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,937 Everyone knows it. You try to buy a car, 138 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,972 and then, you're like, "Ah, can I get that out? Can I get that?" 139 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,440 And the dealer-- what do they always say? 140 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,808 They're always, like, "Oh, sorry, it doesn't work that way. 141 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,143 It all comes with the package." 142 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,479 But now we know the truth! Yeah. 143 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,080 'Cause suddenly, they can't get a part, 144 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,716 and now they're like, "Oh, no, we can remove some features 145 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,485 and charge you less." 146 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,086 Meanwhile, all of us are still out here 147 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,888 with a retractable moonroof 148 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,890 when we could have had a few hundred dollars in our pocket. 149 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,325 Who needs a special opening 150 00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,760 to let the moon in their car anyway? 151 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,428 In fact, you know what? Now that we know 152 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,530 car manufacturers can do this, 153 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,933 they should make everything optional on a car. 154 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,901 Yeah. If I want to save a couple of thousand 155 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,171 by not having brakes, that should be up to me. 156 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,874 I'll put the brakes in later. We'll see how this shit goes. 157 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,843 You know, when you think about it, actually, 158 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,311 this makes you realize that a lot of the problems 159 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,046 we have in society aren't problems. 160 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,115 We've just gotten used to fancy shit. 161 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:26,186 Cars not having heat controls in the back-- that's not a problem. 162 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,188 Back in the day, you didn't have to worry 163 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,891 about the chip that controls the temperature in the back seat 164 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,794 because if you were in the back seat, you had no say. 165 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,496 Yeah, which is the way it's supposed to be, by the way. 166 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,432 You know who chooses the temperature in the car? 167 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,100 The person who pays for the car! 168 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,668 How are you going to come in my car 169 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:42,803 and choose your own temperature? 170 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,972 "Oh, Trevor, I prefer 70 degrees." 171 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,341 Yeah, and I prefer people who can drive themselves. 172 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,476 Shut up, Grandpa. Let's just get you to the hospital. 173 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,812 I'm joking. He died a long time ago. 174 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,981 The car was too cold for him. 175 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,549 No, man, think about it. 176 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,784 Controlling the temperature was a front-seat privilege. 177 00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:01,088 You know? Like choosing the music or deciding what to scream 178 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:04,024 at the dude who just stole your parking space. 179 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,325 Wh-- Are you-are you being ser-- 180 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,127 Yo, that guy-- that guy just took my spot! 181 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,330 -You ass bucket! -Hey, hey. I got this. 182 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,101 You ass bucket! See? That's how it's done. 183 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,871 And finally, let's move on to some entertainment news 184 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:21,341 about country superstar Dolly Parton. 185 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,278 Not only is she one of the world's greatest 186 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:28,081 singer-songwriters, she is also one of the world's most beloved 187 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,951 people. Everyone loves Dolly Parton. 188 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,655 Yeah. I'm sure even QAnon is like, "Sure, she eats babies 189 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:38,525 like all other celebrities, but only the babies who deserve it." 190 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,927 But here's the thing: 191 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,697 Dolly Parton doesn't need all our love. 192 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,233 NEWSWOMAN: Country music star Dolly Parton is saying 193 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,069 "thanks but no thanks" to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. 194 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,972 Yesterday, she announced that, while she's extremely flattered 195 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,275 and grateful, she's pulling out of this year's nominations. 196 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,477 She posted a statement on social media saying, 197 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,581 "I don't feel that I've earned that right. I really do not 198 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,350 "want votes to be split because of me, so I must 199 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,220 -respectfully bow out." -This is not the first time 200 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,089 Parton has turned down a major honor. Last year, 201 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,692 the self-described "Backwoods Barbie" asked Tennessee 202 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,928 lawmakers to drop a bill that would have cemented her 203 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,898 legacy in statue form at the state's Capitol. 204 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,168 Parton also revealed to Hoda and Jenna she declined the 205 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,071 Presidential Medal of Freedom twice. 206 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,039 I don't work for those awards. It would be nice, 207 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:30,477 but I'm not sure that I, you know, that I even deserve it. 208 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:35,048 Wow. I love how Dolly Parton is treating these major awards, 209 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,850 you know, like they're some random dude on the street 210 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,519 trying to hand her a flyer. 211 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,754 "Hey, can I interest you in the Presidential Medal of Freedom?" 212 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,123 "No, thank you. Not today. God bless you, though, honey. 213 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,325 God bless you." For all those people who said, 214 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,262 "Dolly doesn't deserve to be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame," 215 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,430 this has just proven you wrong. 216 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,367 Because turning down the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 217 00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,802 is the most rock and roll thing you could do. 218 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,539 Dolly's like, " I don't consider myself rock and roll." 219 00:08:58,639 --> 00:08:59,540 And the hall of fame is like, 220 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,844 "Aah! That is so punk rock! Aah!" 221 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,345 I also get why Dolly Parton doesn't want 222 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,714 a statue of herself. We've seen how 223 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,017 celebrity statues can turn out. You think it's gonna 224 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:14,021 honor your legacy, but instead just shows what you'd look like 225 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,623 if you were left in the microwave for 45 minutes. 226 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:22,129 But, yeah, Dolly Parton doesn't do any of this for the awards, 227 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,131 which is truly wonderful. 228 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,734 It says so much about her and I think it sets a great example 229 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:31,538 for the rest of us-- what we should aspire for. You know? 230 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:34,474 This is why we here at The Daily Show are honored 231 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:38,045 to present Dolly Parton with this special award 232 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,949 -♪ ♪ -of the Most Humble Person in the World. 233 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,585 Congratulations, Dolly. You did it! 234 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,921 (whoops, laughs) 235 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,057 Yeah! Oh, man. Oh. 236 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,893 And-and by the way, this award doesn't just come with a trophy, 237 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,663 it also comes with $27,000 from my bank account. Yes. 238 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,165 Now, unfortunately, Dolly Parton has refused 239 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,234 to accept this award, so I'm just gonna keep that money. 240 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,636 All right. 241 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,238 Now, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 242 00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:05,739 aren't the only awards coming up. 243 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,975 A couple of weeks from now are the Oscars, 244 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,111 which a lot of people are excited about. Yes. 245 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,581 But Lewis Black is not one of those people, as we're 246 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,285 about to find out in a segment we call Back in Black. 247 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,420 ♪ ♪ 248 00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,262 The Oscars are just around the corner. 249 00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:31,198 That magical night when America's finest actors 250 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,667 seethe with rage while British people 251 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,837 pretending to be Americans steal their awards. 252 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,274 And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, 253 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,976 welcome to the club. They suck. 254 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,579 For years, the Oscars broadcast 255 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,748 has drawn fewer people than 256 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,150 the strip aerobics class I teach. 257 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,821 It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. 258 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:58,725 So this year the producers are trying to get us watching again 259 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,629 in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane. 260 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,132 The producers of the Oscars are slimming down the broadcast 261 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,301 in an effort to boost slumping ratings. 262 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,103 Eight awards will now be presented off-air, 263 00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:13,674 including the Oscars for film editing, makeup and hairstyling 264 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,375 and music, original score. 265 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,077 The ceremony for those categories 266 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,079 will begin an hour before the telecast. 267 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,347 The winners will then be sprinkled 268 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,915 into the three-hour broadcast. 269 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,151 The president of the Academy says the changes 270 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,087 are necessary for the future success of the Oscars. 271 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,389 You can't cut out the men and women 272 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,692 who work behind the scenes. 273 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,094 Without them on stage, the Oscars are just 274 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:37,397 awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. 275 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,234 How sad is it that the Academy has decided that 276 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,936 the reason people don't want to watch its awards show 277 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,172 is that there are too many awards? 278 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:48,942 Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. 279 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:52,479 Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. 280 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:57,117 Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless! 281 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,419 It's especially unfair not to broadcast 282 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,523 the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. 283 00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:04,758 Those people are the backbone of our industry. 284 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:08,428 I have a whole team of people working hours 285 00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:10,430 to make me this beautiful. 286 00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:14,268 Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, 287 00:12:14,368 --> 00:12:17,938 then, sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing. 288 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:21,842 The problem is nobody cares about the big awards either, 289 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:26,213 because they keep nominating movies nobody has seen. 290 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,849 Okay, I did see The Power of the Dog, 291 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,150 but only because they tricked me 292 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,519 into thinking it was a superhero movie. 293 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:36,089 If the dog doesn't fly, that's not a power. 294 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,692 So, now the Academy has a real problem. 295 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:42,629 Sure, they could just nominate movies ordinary people like, 296 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,098 but that wouldn't be a good idea, either, 297 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,267 because ordinary people are morons 298 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,171 who only like dumb movies that don't deserve nominations. 299 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:55,108 So instead, they've come up with the perfect way 300 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,543 to pander to fans 301 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,847 while also insulting our intelligence. 302 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,481 And the Motion Picture Academy 303 00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:04,218 is looking to get film fans involved. 304 00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:06,653 The Hollywood Reporter says this year, 305 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,589 folks on Twitter get to vote 306 00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:10,624 on their favorite movies of last year 307 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:14,394 using the hashtag #OscarsFanFavorite. 308 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,431 Can be any title, so you're not limited 309 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,700 just to this year's nominated pictures. 310 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,536 The movie that gets the most fan votes 311 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,672 will be recognized during the Oscar show. 312 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,441 Ah! What a great idea. 313 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:30,177 Let's let Russian bots choose the Oscars. 314 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,313 They did such a terrific job with our elections. 315 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,517 There's already a vote for fan favorite. 316 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:39,586 It's called buying a ticket, asshole! 317 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,256 If the Oscars are so desperate for viewers, 318 00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,458 there are better ways to get eyeballs 319 00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:47,461 than cutting categories or polling Twitter. 320 00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,263 How about a halftime show? 321 00:13:49,363 --> 00:13:51,231 It works for the Super Bowl. 322 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,102 Also, how about making the stars smash their heads together 323 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,670 until they get brain damage? 324 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,106 It works for the Super Bowl. 325 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,407 But, really, we all know 326 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,576 what makes the Oscars such a drag: 327 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,112 those interminable speeches. 328 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,182 And clearly, playing people off with music 329 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,184 doesn't do jack shit. 330 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,686 And that's why I've come up with a way 331 00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,756 to guarantee the winners don't wear out their welcome. 332 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,224 (applause) 333 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,126 All right, everyone, let's keep it short. 334 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:22,296 My bus transfer expires in 15 minutes, 335 00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:24,798 and I intend to use it. 336 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,470 Thank you to the Academy. 337 00:14:30,571 --> 00:14:33,073 Our heroes unite us, you know? 338 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,608 Uh, the best among us 339 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,178 who inspire us to find the best in ourselves. 340 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,849 Um, you know, when they unite us, 341 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,985 when-when we look to our heroes, we agree. 342 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,988 Yeah, yeah, we all agree your speech has gone on long enough. 343 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,691 Save the rest for your diary, Bridget Jones. 344 00:14:50,791 --> 00:14:52,693 Venus and Serena and Selena. 345 00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:55,829 Uh, Bob Dylan. Scorsese. 346 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,198 Uh, Fred Rogers. 347 00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,633 Harriet Tubman. 348 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,202 Uh, Neil Armstrong. Sally Ride. 349 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,403 Uh, Dolores Huerta. 350 00:15:03,504 --> 00:15:06,473 Neil Armstrong's speech was one sentence! 351 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,142 You're a disgrace to his legacy! 352 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,878 (cheering and applause) 353 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,916 Thank you. Thank you all so very much. 354 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,452 As the hottest year in recorded history, 355 00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:21,555 our production needed to move to the southern tip of this planet 356 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,390 just to be able to find snow. 357 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,893 You got to be kidding me. The glaciers may be melting, 358 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,061 but at least they move faster than this. 359 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,665 For the last time, keep the speeches short and to the point! 360 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,134 We feel entitled 361 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,603 to artificially inseminate a cow, 362 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,139 and when she gives birth, we steal her baby 363 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:42,075 even though her cries of anguish are unmistakable. 364 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:45,512 And then we take her milk that's intended for her calf, 365 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,448 and we put it in our coffee and our cereal. 366 00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:49,983 Oh, come on. Not for nothing, 367 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,318 but if you'd wrapped that up earlier, 368 00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:54,488 I wouldn't have needed a midnight snack. 369 00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:56,857 That's not only a great idea. 370 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,992 It's a great performance! 371 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,028 Where's my Oscar?! 372 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,197 Back to you, Trevor. 373 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,631 Thank you so much for that, Lewis. 374 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:08,202 When we come back, Kim, Kanye, Pete 375 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,238 and why it's not fun anymore. Don't go away. 376 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,908 ♪ ♪ 377 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,011 One of the strangest things 378 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,247 to try and wrap your head around, 379 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,183 I find, especially in America, is... 380 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,852 when a story stops 381 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:30,489 only applying to the, um... 382 00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,324 not the industry that it's in but sort of, like, 383 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,726 the sector that it's in and when it-- 384 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,194 when it starts affecting everybody 385 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,595 or speaking to everybody. 386 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,764 You know? What I mean by that is 387 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:41,300 there are some stories that are purely, like, entertainment. 388 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,302 It's tabloid. It is... 389 00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:44,537 it is what it is. 390 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,405 There are some stories that are only sports. 391 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,207 There are some stories that are only in the world of fi-- 392 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:52,044 But then there are some stories that I feel transcend everything 393 00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,847 and then speak to larger conversations. 394 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,249 And I honestly think the-the Kim Kardashian, 395 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,252 Kanye West, Pete Davidson situation is turning into that. 396 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,255 You know? It started very much in the land of tabloid, 397 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,992 but I feel it's creeping and has crept into a world 398 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,928 that more people should pay attention to 399 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,831 but not for the reason that you may think. 400 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,265 You know? 401 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,335 For those who don't-- for those who don't know, 402 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,270 Kim Kardashian was married to Kanye West. 403 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,172 If you don't know that, I really envy your life. 404 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:23,109 I want to know how you roll and how you avoid all these things. 405 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,278 But they were married, they got divorced, 406 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:30,282 and, over time, Kanye has become more and more belligerent 407 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,651 in how he tries to get Kim back. 408 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,254 Like, when it started, it was-- it was, you know, 409 00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,655 some would say, romantic. 410 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,325 "Oh, I want you back" and, you know, "Here are roses" 411 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,626 and "This is my dream" and the-- 412 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,061 And some people are like, "Oh, okay, it makes sense. 413 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,796 You're trying to win somebody back. We understand that." 414 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,465 But, over time, it's become more and more belligerent. 415 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,434 And one of the most extreme examples 416 00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:50,903 was Kanye West putting out a music video. 417 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,406 In the music video, he... 418 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,609 Like, it's a Claymation music video, I should say. 419 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,478 He chops off Pete Davidson's head. 420 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,080 And, I mean, we-we all understand the sub-- 421 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,681 Like, "I-I wish this guy was dead" 422 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,383 is-is what Kanye's saying. 423 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:05,785 Now, Kanye f-- You know what I mean? 424 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,020 To be fair, Kanye says, "No, this is just art. 425 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,555 "I don't actually want to hurt him. 426 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,824 This is just art. Don't judge my art." 427 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:13,259 But here's the thing. 428 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,195 First of all, just like from a rap perspective, 429 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,464 I was sad that now, like, rappers... 430 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,699 Like, Claymation and rap beefs are a weird combination. 431 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,234 I'm not gonna... It's pretty hard, 432 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,069 in my opinion, to be gangster with Claymation 433 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,972 'cause you have to do, like, one frame at a time, you know? 434 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,841 I do understand that art can be therapy. 435 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,143 I honestly do understand that, right? 436 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,780 But I also understand that therapy can be therapy. 437 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,449 Do you know what I mean? 438 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,451 And what's weird about the situation is, 439 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,652 Kanye West has told us 440 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,253 that he struggles with his mental health. 441 00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:43,389 So I get it. You want to have art as therapy. 442 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,324 But here's what's weird that Kanye doesn't understand 443 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:48,994 is, like, what we're seeing is... 444 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,330 It's-it's... 445 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,835 It makes you uncomfortable, man, because here's the thing. 446 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,304 Eminem was Eminem from the beginning. 447 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,473 "I'm gonna kill my ex-wife, I'm gonna..." 448 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,142 But it was his schtick, and we knew it was his schtick. 449 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,077 He wasn't that person. 450 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,246 With Kanye, we don't know how to feel, 451 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,647 we don't know how to worry. 452 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,116 And I think Kanye doesn't seem to understand that. 453 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,951 He goes, "Oh, leave me to create my art." 454 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,853 Yeah, but, Kanye, you told us you have problems. 455 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:17,123 Now when we worry about that, you say we shouldn't worry 456 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:20,526 because it's not problems, or it is problems? Which is it? 457 00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,828 It puts society in a precarious position. 458 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,163 And the reason I say that is 459 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,631 because of his harassment of Kim, 460 00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,633 which I know is crazy to say. 461 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,968 'Cause there's a lot of people who go like, 462 00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,203 "Kim Kardashian-- she loves publicity, 463 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,205 "she loves celebrity, she loves all of this. 464 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,574 She does The Kardashians. This is her life, this is her thing." 465 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,811 Yeah, and I get it, but... 466 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,981 there's also an element of a woman saying to her ex, 467 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,149 "Hey, please leave me alone." 468 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,984 You know what I mean? 469 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,086 "Please leave me alone." 470 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,555 And so, like, this story keeps on escalating. 471 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:53,893 You've got Kanye West who's harassing Kim Kardashian. 472 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,761 And then, you've got Pete Davidson 473 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,897 who's now embroiled in the whole thing. 474 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,065 And the story escalated to a new level 475 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,569 when now Pete Davidson leaked texts 476 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,905 that he sent back and forth with Kanye. 477 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,442 He sent a selfie to-to, um, Kanye West. 478 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,843 And Kanye said, "Where are you?" 479 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:16,015 And he said, "I'm in your wife's bed." 480 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:19,985 Funny. Right? And we also don't... 'cause, I mean, 481 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,054 we don't know what the person's doing. We-we know what we-- 482 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,757 he's implying, but because of the pandemic, 483 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,258 "in your bed" could mean anything. Like, 484 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,061 my bed used to be a place for sleep and sex, 485 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,331 now it's also, like, a living room/meeting area. 486 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,767 So, "in your bed" could mean anything, but we get what 487 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,770 Pete was going with, right? We get what Pete was going with. 488 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,673 Going, "I'm in bed with your wife." Then, after that, 489 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,174 there's a whole bunch of texts where he says, 490 00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,610 "Hey, listen, Kanye. Let's talk as men. Let me help you with 491 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,846 your mental health. I've also got mental health issues." 492 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,414 It was actually-- That part of the message 493 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,416 was really beautiful. But I'm sorry, guys, 494 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,119 to start a message with, "I'm in bed with your wife," 495 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,987 and then go, like, "Let me help with your mental health." 496 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,455 Yeah, now you've added to the mental health 497 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:57,623 of the person that you're trying to help them with. 498 00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:58,991 Do you get what I'm saying? 499 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,993 It's a little bit cra-- It's a little bit like 500 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,028 roasting somebody while you're giving them CPR. 501 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,296 And now this thing-- 502 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:08,434 it's-it's spun into a story that seems 503 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,737 fully tabloid, but I think, 504 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,241 I think... deserves a little more 505 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,444 awareness from the general public. It's-it's-- 506 00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:22,114 Because it touches on something that is more sensitive 507 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,483 and more serious than people would like to admit. 508 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,952 I know everyone thinks it's a big marketing stunt. 509 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:30,055 "Oh, look at the coincidence, Kim is launching a new show..." 510 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,625 Two things can be true. Kim likes publicity. 511 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,760 Kim is also being harassed. Those things can be happening 512 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,963 at the same time. 'Cause I'll be honest with you, what I see 513 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:41,066 from this situation-- I see a woman who wants to live her life 514 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:44,603 without being harassed by an ex-boyfriend or an ex-husband 515 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,372 or an ex-anything. 516 00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,974 You may not feel sorry for Kim, you know, because 517 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,243 she's rich and famous, because of the way she dresses, 518 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,845 because she appropriates Black culture, 519 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,613 because she tells women they're lazy, 520 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:55,981 because she broke the Internet and then 521 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,116 didn't put it back together-- 522 00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,784 whatever, you hate her, whatever. 523 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:03,422 But-- but. What she's going through is terrifying to watch, 524 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:07,593 and it shines a spotlight on what so many women go through 525 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,428 when they choose to leave. You know, people always 526 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,530 say that phrase to women. They go, like, "Why didn't you leave? 527 00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:14,233 Oh, why didn't you leave? Why didn't you leave?" Yeah. 528 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,769 Because a lot of women-women realize, when they do leave, 529 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,672 the guy will get even crazier. 530 00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:22,341 And when I say "crazy," I don't mean "mental health crazy," 531 00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:23,976 I-- like, it's-- You-you understand what I mean. 532 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,845 You know what I mean. 533 00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:27,947 The point is that Kim Kardashian and countless other women-- 534 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:31,317 they find themselves in a terrible position, you know? 535 00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:34,720 Because asking Kanye to stop clearly isn't helping. 536 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:37,957 But at the same time, he hasn't broken any laws, you know? 537 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,959 So, can she get him arrested? No. I don't think so. 538 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,527 Would she even want to? I mean... 539 00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,395 You know, she spends half her time... 540 00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:46,599 helping Black people come out of jail, so now she can't be 541 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,135 throwing Kanye West in. It's a bit of a paradox. 542 00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:53,005 But, still, she's being harassed. 543 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,207 And I get it. Society's like, "Ha-ha, you deserve it, 544 00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,376 this is funny, this is that." And I get it, also, 545 00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,612 from Kanye's side. Like, the parts of Kanye-- 546 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,980 there's-there's parts I understand. 547 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,515 I understand Kanye saying, "I don't want my daughter 548 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,583 on TikTok." I get-- I-I agree with 549 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,719 that part of what he's saying. 550 00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,088 I'm not involved in other people's relationships, though. 551 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:12,158 You know? I think that's a separate issue. 552 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:15,661 What we're seeing, though, is one of the most powerful, 553 00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:17,930 one of the richest women in the world 554 00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:21,267 unable to get her ex to stop texting her, 555 00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:23,936 to stop chasing after her, to stop harassing her. 556 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,171 Just think about that for a moment. 557 00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,406 Think about how powerful Kim Kardashian is, 558 00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:29,308 and she can't get that to happen. 559 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,645 I grew up my whole life in an abusive household, right? 560 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,679 Most of my li-- Let's say from the age 561 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:36,582 of nine to, whatever, 16. 562 00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:39,218 One of the things I found most interesting was how often 563 00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:41,720 people told my mom that she was overreacting. 564 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,689 What I found interesting was how many times 565 00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,558 people told my mom to calm down, people told my family 566 00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:47,093 to calm down-- everyone. You know? 567 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,627 And everyone had different reasons. 568 00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:50,796 Oh, I remember once we went to the police station, 569 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,665 and they said to my mom, "Oh, but did you talk back? 570 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,600 Is that... Is that why you're here?" You know? 571 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,769 Uh, you know, "Oh, but-but what did you say to him?" 572 00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,571 It's all these questions. All these questions. 573 00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,173 I remember seeing this as a child, by the way. 574 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,375 You see this as a child, you know? 575 00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:07,046 And you see a world where... 576 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:11,050 women are questioned for what is happening to them 577 00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:15,454 as opposed to people questioning what is happening to them. 578 00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:18,657 And for years, people said this shit. 579 00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:20,359 "Ah, no, this... Ah, you know, these... 580 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,528 This happens. This hap... That happens." Everyone. 581 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,930 Police, some family, strangers. 582 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,465 Whatever it was. Whatever it was. 583 00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,768 And I'll never forget one day, I got a call from my brother 584 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,337 saying, "Hey, Mom has just been shot in the head. 585 00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:34,273 She's in the hospital now. She's just been shot." 586 00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:36,842 And-and I-I'm not saying it to make it about me. 587 00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:38,611 I'm just saying maybe that's why 588 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:40,279 I look at the story differently, to be honest with you. 589 00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:42,948 Is I go, "It seems like nothing." 590 00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:44,483 And again, I'm not saying Kanye will. 591 00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:46,152 Please. I'm not saying he will. 592 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,087 I'm not saying that. 593 00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:49,722 But you see it in all these stories 594 00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,957 where people say, "We saw it, but we didn't..." Or "We..." 595 00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:53,392 Whether it's the people around him, 596 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,060 whether it's the people in their lives, 597 00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:58,664 whether it's us as society condoning or not condoning. 598 00:24:58,764 --> 00:25:00,366 And I know it's nuanced. 599 00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:02,768 I know... I'm not saying Kanye's just a bad guy. 600 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,404 Please. But just as society, 601 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,773 you know, we have to ask ourselves questions. 602 00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,176 Do we wish to stand by 603 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,011 and watch a car crash 604 00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:13,913 when we thought we saw it coming? 605 00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,449 Or do we at least want to say, "Hey, slow down. 606 00:25:16,549 --> 00:25:17,983 "Let's put... Let's all put our hazards on 607 00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,352 'cause there's a storm right now and some shit might go down." 608 00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:21,720 Let's just... Let's just put our hazards... 609 00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:23,722 If it doesn't happen, hey, the worst thing we did 610 00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,458 was we all had our hazards on like idiots. 611 00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:26,926 I'm... I'll be fine to say, 612 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,294 "I was an idiot. Nothing happened." 613 00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:29,628 I would rather be in that situation 614 00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:31,097 than to be in one where I say, 615 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:34,934 "Man, I wish we didn't think the whole thing 616 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,536 wasn't worth looking at." 617 00:25:37,636 --> 00:25:38,938 And all I'm saying about this story 618 00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:42,074 is if Kim cannot escape this... Kim Kardashian. 619 00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:43,509 If she cannot escape this, 620 00:25:43,609 --> 00:25:46,312 then what chance do normal women have? 621 00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:49,947 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 622 00:25:50,047 --> 00:25:52,650 My guest tonight is Dr. Deepak Chopra. 623 00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:54,852 He's a pioneer in integrative medicine 624 00:25:54,952 --> 00:25:56,654 and popular spirituality, 625 00:25:56,754 --> 00:25:59,023 and he's here to talk about his latest book 626 00:25:59,123 --> 00:26:02,493 about finding prosperity within, 627 00:26:02,593 --> 00:26:04,929 Dr. Chopra, welcome to The Daily Show. 628 00:26:05,029 --> 00:26:06,230 (chuckles): Thank you. Thank you. 629 00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:09,700 Um, Abundance: The Inner Path to Wealth. 630 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,837 Inspired by a lyric from Bob Marley. 631 00:26:12,937 --> 00:26:15,806 -I love it. -Who said some people are so poor 632 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:17,475 all they have is money. 633 00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:18,910 Whew. 634 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:21,546 I saw someone ask him a question about that once in an interview. 635 00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:23,648 They said to him, "Are you rich?" 636 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,550 -And he says, "What does that mean? -(chuckles) Yes. 637 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,485 "Am I rich in friends? Am I rich in family? 638 00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,320 -"Am I rich in life? Am I rich in money? -So beautiful. 639 00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:30,855 -What is rich?" -Yeah, what is rich? 640 00:26:30,955 --> 00:26:32,924 And that lyric inspired me, actually, 641 00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:35,426 to do some scientific research 642 00:26:35,526 --> 00:26:39,030 on does money buy you joy; 643 00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:41,032 does it buy you true love; 644 00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,967 does it buy you intuition, 645 00:26:43,067 --> 00:26:45,903 creativity, insight, imagination; 646 00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,906 does it buy you even safety and security. 647 00:26:49,073 --> 00:26:50,474 And the answer's no. 648 00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:53,144 So, money has a role, 649 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,645 but it's not everything. 650 00:26:54,745 --> 00:26:56,781 For-for the everyday person who's reading this book, 651 00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:59,717 what I loved about it is you-you go through parts of the body. 652 00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:00,918 You see the different chakras. 653 00:27:01,085 --> 00:27:04,555 You see how you-you tie, um, yoga poses into... 654 00:27:04,655 --> 00:27:07,091 (stammers) the connection between the spirit, 655 00:27:07,124 --> 00:27:08,960 the body, and the mind. 656 00:27:09,093 --> 00:27:13,698 I-I would love to talk about how we, as people, 657 00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:17,535 can better connect with an abundance inside of ourselves 658 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:20,705 whilst also acknowledging the external factors that affect us. 659 00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:23,307 Because many people may not be extremely poor-- 660 00:27:23,407 --> 00:27:24,842 obviously, there are many who are-- 661 00:27:24,942 --> 00:27:26,611 but, you know, there are a lot of people who go, 662 00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:28,613 "Well, I'm not-- I'm not extremely poor, 663 00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:31,649 but I'm not so wealthy that I can't care in life." 664 00:27:31,749 --> 00:27:34,485 How do you begin to even start this journey 665 00:27:34,585 --> 00:27:36,120 of finding an inner wealth 666 00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:37,889 when you are thinking about your next check, et cetera? 667 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,758 You know, the word "chakra" has become very popular, 668 00:27:40,858 --> 00:27:42,960 -as you know, because of yoga. -Yes. 669 00:27:43,127 --> 00:27:45,630 But chakras are just centers of awareness 670 00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:48,065 that represent the hierarchy of needs. 671 00:27:48,132 --> 00:27:50,268 The chakras speak about seven levels. 672 00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:53,271 -So level one's survival and safety. -Okay. 673 00:27:53,371 --> 00:27:56,574 Level two-- sensuality through the five senses, 674 00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:58,376 -which is mindfulness. -Okay. 675 00:27:58,476 --> 00:28:02,079 Every experience of the senses should be sensuous 676 00:28:02,146 --> 00:28:04,582 and vibrant and alive. 677 00:28:04,682 --> 00:28:07,385 The third is money and abundance. 678 00:28:07,485 --> 00:28:10,288 The fourth is love and belongingness. 679 00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,657 The fifth is creative insight. 680 00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,525 The sixth is higher consciousness 681 00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:16,527 in terms of insight, imagination, 682 00:28:16,627 --> 00:28:18,396 archetypal thinking, 683 00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,565 and the seventh is transcendence. 684 00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:23,868 So each of these chakras has special modalities 685 00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:26,704 to activate them through attention, 686 00:28:26,804 --> 00:28:29,207 intention and transcendence. 687 00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:30,808 And there are rituals for doing this. 688 00:28:30,908 --> 00:28:32,476 You will say, "Why rituals?" 689 00:28:32,577 --> 00:28:34,612 They are symbolic representations 690 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:37,448 of our needs and our aspirations. 691 00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:39,851 Mm. What do you think we should be aspiring to? 692 00:28:39,951 --> 00:28:42,220 Ultimately? To joy. 693 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,222 If joy is not the measure of success, 694 00:28:44,322 --> 00:28:46,290 -you wasted your life. -Wow. 695 00:28:46,390 --> 00:28:48,392 You don't want to end your life saying, 696 00:28:48,492 --> 00:28:52,496 "I made all the money in the world, but I was never joyful." 697 00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,098 You talk about everything. 698 00:28:54,198 --> 00:28:58,236 You-you study everything, you know. 699 00:28:58,336 --> 00:29:00,438 I think that's what a lot of people enjoy about your work is 700 00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:02,907 that it is not, um, apart from the world, 701 00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,444 but it is a part of what is happening in the world. 702 00:29:06,544 --> 00:29:09,680 Let's talk a little bit about what's happening in Ukraine. 703 00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:11,883 You know, we're seeing a situation now 704 00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:13,918 where the whole world feels like 705 00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:16,921 it is at the mercy of a mad man. 706 00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:19,790 And when I was reading a... you know, this book, I was thinking, 707 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,259 "These are such fantastic tips 708 00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,461 on how to do whatever you want to do." 709 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:25,229 And then I sometimes go, "Man, 710 00:29:25,329 --> 00:29:27,365 what if books like these get into wrong hands?" 711 00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:29,800 What if the wrong people use your books to go, "Oh, 712 00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:31,836 this is how I will actualize an evil thing in the world"? 713 00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:33,671 So, when you look at somebody like Vladimir Putin, 714 00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:34,972 -for instance, you know... -Well, yes. 715 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:37,308 ...is he not actualizing everything? 716 00:29:37,408 --> 00:29:40,244 A Freudian analysis of Vladimir Putin is 717 00:29:40,344 --> 00:29:43,447 that he's a sexually impotent psychopath 718 00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:47,785 who is taking his rage out through mass murder. 719 00:29:47,885 --> 00:29:51,889 He belongs in a cage at The Hague, ultimately. 720 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:55,960 And the only way, by the way, he can-- there's no military 721 00:29:56,060 --> 00:30:00,865 solution to it. One solution could be, again, a Gandhian, 722 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,367 Mandelian solution-- 723 00:30:03,467 --> 00:30:08,105 if the Russians participated in 724 00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:13,177 civil disobedience and massive peaceful strikes and 725 00:30:13,277 --> 00:30:18,216 paralyzed the country. Now, they would do it if they knew what 726 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:21,919 -the facts are. But now he's cut off all the media... -Right. 727 00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:25,990 And Twitter and all that. That's... in the-- 728 00:30:26,090 --> 00:30:30,161 Practically speaking, the only way is for the Russians to 729 00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:32,730 -get rid of him. -Wow. 730 00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:35,833 I'm still getting over the fact that you said he is impotent 731 00:30:35,933 --> 00:30:37,835 -and he's... -It's a Freudian interpretation. 732 00:30:37,935 --> 00:30:39,437 -A Freudian interpretation. -As you know, Freud was 733 00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:42,139 -obsessed with the first chakra. -Yes. Yes (laughs) 734 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,209 It's an interesting world, in how they all tie together. 735 00:30:45,309 --> 00:30:49,213 You-you actually tweeted, you know, I think it was to Putin, 736 00:30:49,313 --> 00:30:52,049 essentially, you said, "Karma never loses an address." 737 00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:53,684 -That's it. -Help me understand that, though. 738 00:30:53,784 --> 00:30:56,687 Does that mean that, you know, bad things will happen 739 00:30:56,787 --> 00:30:59,624 to bad people, or does it mean that maybe in the next life, 740 00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:01,192 something could happen-- Like, when does, 741 00:31:01,292 --> 00:31:03,060 when does Putin's karma come? 742 00:31:03,094 --> 00:31:05,897 It's an echo from the past. 743 00:31:06,063 --> 00:31:10,601 I have seen, very rarely, tyrants-- whether it's 744 00:31:10,701 --> 00:31:15,139 Saddam Hussein, or it's any of the recent people from Libya, 745 00:31:15,239 --> 00:31:20,778 Qaddafi, um, or... what's his name, from, uh, that country 746 00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:22,146 -next to yours... -Oh, Zimbabwe? 747 00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:24,081 -Um... now I can't believe -Not Zimbabwe. 748 00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:25,883 -I've forgotten his name now. He was so omnipresent. -Yeah. 749 00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:27,351 -Robert Mugabe. -Mugabe. 750 00:31:27,451 --> 00:31:30,087 -Yes. -And-and the other guy, Idi Amin. 751 00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:33,624 And they all had very terrible ends. You know? 752 00:31:33,724 --> 00:31:35,927 So, you never know. 753 00:31:36,093 --> 00:31:38,529 So, I believe in the law of karma. 754 00:31:38,629 --> 00:31:41,098 -It's an echo from the past. -Mm. 755 00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:45,102 Um... one of the issues that you are 756 00:31:45,136 --> 00:31:47,405 really passionate about is suicide prevention. 757 00:31:47,505 --> 00:31:50,508 We've seen a lot of that spike, especially in the pandemic. 758 00:31:50,608 --> 00:31:53,578 -Your foundation works to-to find this-- -Yeah, so, suicide 759 00:31:53,678 --> 00:31:58,049 is the second-most common cause of death in-- among teens. 760 00:31:58,115 --> 00:32:00,685 Um, it is, uh-- Every 40 seconds, 761 00:32:00,785 --> 00:32:04,121 somebody is killing themselves in the world. 762 00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:06,757 Last year, more people died from suicide in Japan 763 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:09,260 -than from COVID-19. -Wow. 764 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,562 It's, uh, it's the biggest pandemic, 765 00:32:11,662 --> 00:32:15,166 and our humanity is incomplete unless we address it. 766 00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:18,836 So we created, uh, this, uh, website 767 00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:20,838 called NeverAlone.Love. 768 00:32:20,938 --> 00:32:23,841 And we have a chatbot over there named Pee-Wee-- 769 00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:28,479 named after a recording artist who died from suicide-- 770 00:32:28,579 --> 00:32:32,984 and she is a machine. And teens love to talk to her 771 00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:34,519 because they don't feel judged. 772 00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:38,089 And, uh, and they're more, uh, more comfortable 773 00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:39,390 talking to a machine 774 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:40,725 -than a human being. -Wow, are you serious? 775 00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:43,461 I'm serious. This is the world we live in. 776 00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:46,163 So she has now de-escalated 777 00:32:46,264 --> 00:32:48,299 about 6,000 suicide attempts. 778 00:32:48,399 --> 00:32:51,869 11 million conversations happening through text. 779 00:32:52,036 --> 00:32:54,038 How do you program that machine? 780 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:56,240 -Because... -It's an AI. 781 00:32:56,340 --> 00:32:58,843 -Yeah, but-but AI has to be taught by somebody. -Yeah. 782 00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:00,478 And as we've learned in other tech, 783 00:33:00,578 --> 00:33:03,047 AI will have its shortcomings because of who... 784 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,283 So, what-what do you try and teach the AI 785 00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:06,884 -that we should maybe be learning? -It's a... 786 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:10,321 It's an ethical AI, and now there are safeguards 787 00:33:10,421 --> 00:33:13,057 on how to create ethical AIs 788 00:33:13,090 --> 00:33:16,093 which are not like fake videos 789 00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:18,162 -or fake, uh, anything. -Yeah. 790 00:33:18,262 --> 00:33:21,465 And it's built into the system, the ethics. 791 00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:24,168 And there's a whole association now 792 00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:26,070 amongst AI experts 793 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,839 that is accelerating the movement 794 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,808 of ethical AIs. 795 00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:33,744 This is going to get even better in the future. 796 00:33:33,844 --> 00:33:36,647 And, of course, we always have humans at the back end. 797 00:33:36,747 --> 00:33:38,549 -You have to. -Right. 798 00:33:38,649 --> 00:33:40,618 Uh, Dr. Deepak Chopra, 799 00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:42,320 you are a fascinating man, you know? 800 00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:45,089 The chakras, AI, Vladimir Putin. 801 00:33:45,122 --> 00:33:46,224 -(chuckles) -I mean, 802 00:33:46,324 --> 00:33:47,658 it all comes together with you. Thank you 803 00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,460 -for taking the time to join me on the show. -Thank you. 804 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,495 You're very good to me, and thank you for doing this. 805 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,064 -Thank you so much for being here. -Thank you. 806 00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:54,532 All right, everybody. 807 00:33:54,632 --> 00:33:56,868 Abundance: The Inner Path to Wealth 808 00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:58,035 is available now. 809 00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,937 Dr. Chopra also has a meditation app 810 00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:01,272 and an Audible podcast, 811 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,773 so be sure to check those out, as well. 812 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:03,941 We're gonna take a quick break, 813 00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:05,576 but we'll be right back after this. 814 00:34:08,145 --> 00:34:09,446 Well, that's our show for tonight. 815 00:34:09,546 --> 00:34:10,881 But before we go, please consider supporting 816 00:34:10,981 --> 00:34:13,283 the National Network to End Domestic Violence. 817 00:34:13,384 --> 00:34:16,620 They work to meet the ongoing and emerging needs 818 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,389 of domestic violence victims. 819 00:34:18,489 --> 00:34:19,757 If you can help them in their work, 820 00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:21,692 then please donate at the link below. 821 00:34:21,792 --> 00:34:24,261 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 822 00:34:24,361 --> 00:34:26,697 ♪ ♪ 823 00:34:26,797 --> 00:34:28,932 My father had a great relationship with Putin. 824 00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:30,934 Putin was in with the KGB. He could read people, 825 00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:32,369 and he could tell that Donald Trump 826 00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,038 was a very strong person, right? 827 00:34:34,138 --> 00:34:35,739 This would have never happened under Donald Trump. 828 00:34:35,839 --> 00:34:37,207 My father would, you know, call up, 829 00:34:37,307 --> 00:34:39,243 and he would've said, "Vladimir, don't even think about it. 830 00:34:39,343 --> 00:34:41,145 "Don't even try us. 831 00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:43,314 I'm telling you, it's not gonna work out very well for you." 832 00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:45,049 My father... My father... My father... My father... 833 00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:46,617 My father's always had great intuition. 834 00:34:46,717 --> 00:34:49,453 My father was so far ahead of this whole situation.