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The Senate
just voted unanimously
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00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,339
to permanently stay
on daylight savings time.
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00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,341
Unanimously, people.
4
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,876
Across the board. This--
Obviously, it still has
5
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,978
to pass the House and e--
Yeah, but they were like, "No,
6
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,946
"this is terrible.
This clock's moving backwards,
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00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,348
"forwards, backwards, forwards.
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00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,083
We just want to stay
on daylight savings."
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00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,118
Or, as the rest of the world
calls it, time.
10
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:21,088
Think about how nobody agrees
on anything in this country.
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00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,124
And the Senate, guys. Everyone.
12
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,560
Elizabeth Warren,
Mitch McConnell,
13
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,562
all of them were like, "Yeah,
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00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,330
we all agree on this thing."
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00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:31,532
That is why--
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00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,800
'Cause I love
looking for moments in life
17
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,270
where you can find
the common humanity.
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00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,339
To know that I hate
the clock switching,
19
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,342
to know that Mitch McConnell
also shares that hate with me,
20
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,477
as a human being--
21
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,811
do you know
how beautiful that is?
22
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,513
Knowing that there's
some mornings I wake up
23
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,982
and I'm like-- I look at the
clock and I'm like... (screams)
24
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,519
And wherever he is, he's like...
"Mah..."
25
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,488
That, guys, that gives me hope.
26
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,057
-♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from the heart of Times Square,
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00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,127
in New York City,
the only city in America,
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00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,429
it's The Daily Show.
29
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,499
Tonight, Dolly can't win.
30
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,901
We need to talk about Kimye.
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,938
And Deepak Chopra.
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00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:15,943
This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
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00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,945
Hey! What's going on, everybody?
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00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,780
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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♪ ♪
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We begin
with the latest developments
38
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,857
in the Russian invasion
of Ukraine.
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00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,658
This morning,
the prime ministers
40
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,827
of three European countries--
41
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,830
Poland, Slovenia,
and the Czech Republic--
42
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,433
took the extraordinary step
of meeting
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00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,870
with Ukrainian leaders in Kyiv
44
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:47,107
as a sign of
Europe's "unequivocal support."
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00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,010
Which, guys, you got to admit,
that's really admirable.
46
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,246
I mean, these people are having
an in-person meeting
47
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,481
in an active war zone.
48
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,551
Meanwhile, some of us are too
scared to go back to the office.
49
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,620
Yeah. I mean,
we say it's about COVID,
50
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,389
but it's really about Dave
at the water cooler.
51
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,192
And with the outside world
stepping up its pressure
52
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,728
on Russia,
Russia is now fighting back.
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00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,330
Yeah. In a classic move of
"I know you are but what am I?,"
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00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,966
Russia has just announced
that it is slapping sanctions
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00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,801
on high-profile
American targets,
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00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,770
including President Biden,
57
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,106
White House Press Secretary
Jen Psaki,
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00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,475
Hillary Clinton,
and Hunter Biden.
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00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,609
Yes.
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00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,711
Russia says
that they will no longer
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00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,446
be able to travel to Russia
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00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:30,551
and any assets that they have
in Russia have been frozen.
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00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,287
Which, I mean,
sounds ridiculous, right?
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00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:37,291
I-I doubt any of those people
have any assets in Russia.
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00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,492
Especially Joe Biden.
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00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:39,793
Right? He just keeps
all of his money
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00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,195
hidden behind his nephew's ear.
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00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,629
What?
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00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,398
Now, of course,
Russia is carrying out
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00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:48,135
a way more serious crackdown
on its own citizens,
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00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:53,006
with laws in place against
protesting the war in any way.
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00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,276
And some Russians have been
trying to find a loophole,
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00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,112
rah, turning out in public
to not protest anything.
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00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,214
That's what they've been doing.
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00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,349
Which is actually
a pretty clever idea.
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00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,219
But it turns out the Russian
government is not laughing.
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00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:08,589
Meanwhile, in Russia, protestors
continue to be arrested.
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00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,657
According to this video
by activists,
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00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:14,194
this woman holds up a sign
that simply reads two words
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00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,829
before police take her away.
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00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,232
NEWSWOMAN: Over 14,000 people
have been arrested
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00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,167
for protesting the war
in Ukraine.
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00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,369
Russian police
have even detained people
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00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,771
for carrying blank signs.
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00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,808
Damn, that is next-level
censorship right there.
86
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:28,942
Imagine that.
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00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,345
Even people holding up
blank signs,
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00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,681
nothing on it,
are getting arrested in Russia.
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00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,850
I mean, think about it.
If you see a blank sign,
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00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:40,287
and you automatically assume
people are criticizing you,
91
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,822
that's your insecurity showing.
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00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,557
Yeah, they clearly think they
have something to be ashamed of.
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00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,992
'Cause let me
tell you something.
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00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,627
If I saw a blank sign,
95
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,095
someone just standing outside
The Daily Show
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00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,997
holding a blank sign,
yeah, I'd just be like,
97
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,099
"Why, yes, I have lost weight,
thank you!"
98
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,468
(laughs)
"You don't see it? I see it."
99
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,638
So, according to reports,
the Russian government
100
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,774
has now arrested
over 14,000 protestors,
101
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,710
which may not seem like a
huge number, but remember this.
102
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,779
For Russia, where getting
arrested at a protest
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00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:09,783
might mean your life is over,
14,000 is a lot.
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00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,152
I mean, to put that in terms
Putin would appreciate,
105
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,290
14,000 is like two tables worth
of people.
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00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,891
Moving on to economic news.
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00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,826
As you know, the entire world
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00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,062
is facing massive
supply chain issues.
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00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,565
And with companies unable
to solve this problem,
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00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,701
some are finding a way
to work around it.
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00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,804
Ford Motor Company is taking
some drastic steps
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00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,140
as they deal
with a computer chip shortage.
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00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,543
They'll now ship some Explorers
without computer chips
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00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,146
for the rear air conditioning
and heat controls.
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00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,114
The missing semiconductors
will be sent
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00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,383
to dealers to install
within a year.
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00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,553
It's a way for Ford to get
Explorers to customers faster
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00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,088
during the shortage.
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00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,258
The AC and heat can still be
controlled from the front seats.
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00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,260
Ford says customers buying
an Explorer
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00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,963
without the chips
will get a price reduction.
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00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:00,467
Bravo, Ford. This is smart.
123
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:05,172
Huh? Instead of delaying sales
because of chip shortages,
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00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,641
Ford is just going to give you
the car unfinished,
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00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,111
and then you can install
the chip later on.
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00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,847
I mean, essentially,
Ford is using the same tricks
127
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,482
that we use in relationships.
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00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,451
Yeah, you tell someone
when you meet them,
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00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,119
"Look, I'm not a perfect person
right now,
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00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,521
"but if you give me a year
or two,
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00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,389
I'm gonna get my shit together."
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00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:26,927
Now, you won't get your shit
together, but you made the sale.
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00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,096
And not for nothing,
not for nothing,
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00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,231
but anyone who's ever bought
a new car knows
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00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,166
the experience of trying
to get the price knocked down
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00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,902
by removing some of the bells
and whistles, right?
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00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,937
Everyone knows it.
You try to buy a car,
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00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,972
and then, you're like, "Ah, can
I get that out? Can I get that?"
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00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,440
And the dealer--
what do they always say?
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00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,808
They're always, like, "Oh,
sorry, it doesn't work that way.
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00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,143
It all comes with the package."
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00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,479
But now we know the truth! Yeah.
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00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,080
'Cause suddenly,
they can't get a part,
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00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,716
and now they're like, "Oh, no,
we can remove some features
145
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,485
and charge you less."
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00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,086
Meanwhile, all of us are still
out here
147
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,888
with a retractable moonroof
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00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,890
when we could have had a few
hundred dollars in our pocket.
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00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,325
Who needs a special opening
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00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,760
to let the moon
in their car anyway?
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00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,428
In fact, you know what?
Now that we know
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00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,530
car manufacturers can do this,
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00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,933
they should make everything
optional on a car.
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00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,901
Yeah. If I want
to save a couple of thousand
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00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,171
by not having brakes,
that should be up to me.
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00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,874
I'll put the brakes in later.
We'll see how this shit goes.
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00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,843
You know, when you think
about it, actually,
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00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,311
this makes you realize
that a lot of the problems
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00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,046
we have in society
aren't problems.
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00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,115
We've just gotten used
to fancy shit.
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00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:26,186
Cars not having heat controls in
the back-- that's not a problem.
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00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,188
Back in the day,
you didn't have to worry
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00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,891
about the chip that controls
the temperature in the back seat
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00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,794
because if you were in
the back seat, you had no say.
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00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,496
Yeah, which is the way
it's supposed to be, by the way.
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00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,432
You know who chooses
the temperature in the car?
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00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,100
The person who pays for the car!
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00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,668
How are you going
to come in my car
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00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:42,803
and choose your own temperature?
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00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,972
"Oh, Trevor,
I prefer 70 degrees."
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00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,341
Yeah, and I prefer people
who can drive themselves.
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00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,476
Shut up, Grandpa. Let's just
get you to the hospital.
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00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,812
I'm joking.
He died a long time ago.
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00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,981
The car was too cold for him.
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00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,549
No, man, think about it.
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00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,784
Controlling the temperature
was a front-seat privilege.
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00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:01,088
You know? Like choosing the
music or deciding what to scream
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00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:04,024
at the dude who just stole
your parking space.
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00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,325
Wh-- Are you-are you
being ser--
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00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,127
Yo, that guy--
that guy just took my spot!
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00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,330
-You ass bucket!
-Hey, hey. I got this.
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00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,101
You ass bucket! See?
That's how it's done.
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00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,871
And finally, let's move
on to some entertainment news
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00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:21,341
about country superstar
Dolly Parton.
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00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,278
Not only is she
one of the world's greatest
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00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:28,081
singer-songwriters, she is also
one of the world's most beloved
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00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,951
people.
Everyone loves Dolly Parton.
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00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,655
Yeah. I'm sure even QAnon is
like, "Sure, she eats babies
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00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:38,525
like all other celebrities, but
only the babies who deserve it."
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00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,927
But here's the thing:
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00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,697
Dolly Parton doesn't
need all our love.
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00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,233
NEWSWOMAN: Country music star
Dolly Parton is saying
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00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,069
"thanks but no thanks" to the
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
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00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,972
Yesterday, she announced that,
while she's extremely flattered
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00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,275
and grateful, she's pulling out
of this year's nominations.
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00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,477
She posted a statement
on social media saying,
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00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,581
"I don't feel that I've earned
that right. I really do not
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00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,350
"want votes to be split
because of me, so I must
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00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,220
-respectfully bow out."
-This is not the first time
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00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,089
Parton has turned down
a major honor. Last year,
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00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,692
the self-described "Backwoods
Barbie" asked Tennessee
202
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,928
lawmakers to drop a bill
that would have cemented her
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00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,898
legacy in statue form
at the state's Capitol.
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00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,168
Parton also revealed to Hoda
and Jenna she declined the
205
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:24,071
Presidential
Medal of Freedom twice.
206
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,039
I don't work for those awards.
It would be nice,
207
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:30,477
but I'm not sure that I, you
know, that I even deserve it.
208
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:35,048
Wow. I love how Dolly Parton
is treating these major awards,
209
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,850
you know, like they're some
random dude on the street
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00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,519
trying to hand her a flyer.
211
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,754
"Hey, can I interest you in the
Presidential Medal of Freedom?"
212
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,123
"No, thank you. Not today.
God bless you, though, honey.
213
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,325
God bless you."
For all those people who said,
214
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,262
"Dolly doesn't deserve to be in
the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame,"
215
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,430
this has just proven you wrong.
216
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,367
Because turning down
the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
217
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,802
is the most rock and roll
thing you could do.
218
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,539
Dolly's like, " I don't consider
myself rock and roll."
219
00:08:58,639 --> 00:08:59,540
And the hall of fame is like,
220
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,844
"Aah! That is so
punk rock! Aah!"
221
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,345
I also get why Dolly Parton
doesn't want
222
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,714
a statue of herself.
We've seen how
223
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,017
celebrity statues can turn out.
You think it's gonna
224
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:14,021
honor your legacy, but instead
just shows what you'd look like
225
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,623
if you were left in
the microwave for 45 minutes.
226
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:22,129
But, yeah, Dolly Parton doesn't
do any of this for the awards,
227
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,131
which is truly wonderful.
228
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,734
It says so much about her and
I think it sets a great example
229
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:31,538
for the rest of us-- what
we should aspire for. You know?
230
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:34,474
This is why we here at
The Daily Show are honored
231
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:38,045
to present Dolly Parton
with this special award
232
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,949
-♪ ♪ -of the Most Humble Person
in the World.
233
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,585
Congratulations, Dolly.
You did it!
234
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,921
(whoops, laughs)
235
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,057
Yeah! Oh, man. Oh.
236
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,893
And-and by the way, this award
doesn't just come with a trophy,
237
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,663
it also comes with $27,000
from my bank account. Yes.
238
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,165
Now, unfortunately,
Dolly Parton has refused
239
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,234
to accept this award, so I'm
just gonna keep that money.
240
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,636
All right.
241
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,238
Now, the Rock & Roll
Hall of Fame
242
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:05,739
aren't the only awards
coming up.
243
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,975
A couple of weeks from now
are the Oscars,
244
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,111
which a lot of people
are excited about. Yes.
245
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,581
But Lewis Black is not
one of those people, as we're
246
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,285
about to find out in a segment
we call Back in Black.
247
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,420
♪ ♪
248
00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,262
The Oscars are
just around the corner.
249
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:31,198
That magical night
when America's finest actors
250
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,667
seethe with rage
while British people
251
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,837
pretending to be Americans
steal their awards.
252
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,274
And if you're not excited
about the Academy Awards,
253
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,976
welcome to the club.
They suck.
254
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,579
For years, the Oscars broadcast
255
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,748
has drawn fewer people than
256
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,150
the strip aerobics class
I teach.
257
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,821
It's exercise, and it
helps me unlock my sensuality.
258
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:58,725
So this year the producers are
trying to get us watching again
259
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,629
in ways that range from
the idiotic to the insane.
260
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,132
The producers of the Oscars
are slimming down the broadcast
261
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,301
in an effort to boost
slumping ratings.
262
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,103
Eight awards will now
be presented off-air,
263
00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:13,674
including the Oscars for film
editing, makeup and hairstyling
264
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,375
and music, original score.
265
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,077
The ceremony
for those categories
266
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,079
will begin an hour
before the telecast.
267
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,347
The winners will then
be sprinkled
268
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,915
into the three-hour broadcast.
269
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,151
The president of the Academy
says the changes
270
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,087
are necessary for the future
success of the Oscars.
271
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,389
You can't cut out
the men and women
272
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,692
who work behind the scenes.
273
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,094
Without them on stage,
the Oscars are just
274
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:37,397
awards for Hollywood's
greatest sex criminals.
275
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,234
How sad is it that
the Academy has decided that
276
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,936
the reason people don't
want to watch its awards show
277
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,172
is that there are
too many awards?
278
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:48,942
Recognizing excellence through
awards is the whole point.
279
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:52,479
Without that, the Oscars
are totally meaningless.
280
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:57,117
Also, with that, the Oscars
are totally meaningless!
281
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,419
It's especially unfair
not to broadcast
282
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,523
the makeup and hairstyle Oscars.
283
00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:04,758
Those people are the backbone
of our industry.
284
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:08,428
I have a whole team
of people working hours
285
00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:10,430
to make me this beautiful.
286
00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:14,268
Now, if people simply don't
care about the little awards,
287
00:12:14,368 --> 00:12:17,938
then, sure, cutting them will
make the show more appealing.
288
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:21,842
The problem is nobody cares
about the big awards either,
289
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:26,213
because they keep nominating
movies nobody has seen.
290
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,849
Okay, I did see
The Power of the Dog,
291
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,150
but only because
they tricked me
292
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,519
into thinking it was
a superhero movie.
293
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:36,089
If the dog doesn't fly,
that's not a power.
294
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,692
So, now the Academy
has a real problem.
295
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:42,629
Sure, they could just nominate
movies ordinary people like,
296
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,098
but that wouldn't be
a good idea, either,
297
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,267
because ordinary people
are morons
298
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,171
who only like dumb movies
that don't deserve nominations.
299
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:55,108
So instead, they've come up
with the perfect way
300
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,543
to pander to fans
301
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,847
while also insulting
our intelligence.
302
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,481
And the Motion Picture Academy
303
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:04,218
is looking
to get film fans involved.
304
00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:06,653
The Hollywood Reporter
says this year,
305
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,589
folks on Twitter get to vote
306
00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:10,624
on their favorite movies
of last year
307
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:14,394
using the hashtag
#OscarsFanFavorite.
308
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,431
Can be any title,
so you're not limited
309
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,700
just to this year's
nominated pictures.
310
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,536
The movie
that gets the most fan votes
311
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,672
will be recognized
during the Oscar show.
312
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,441
Ah! What a great idea.
313
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:30,177
Let's let Russian bots
choose the Oscars.
314
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,313
They did such a terrific job
with our elections.
315
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,517
There's already a vote
for fan favorite.
316
00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:39,586
It's called buying a ticket,
asshole!
317
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,256
If the Oscars are so desperate
for viewers,
318
00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,458
there are better ways
to get eyeballs
319
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:47,461
than cutting categories
or polling Twitter.
320
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,263
How about a halftime show?
321
00:13:49,363 --> 00:13:51,231
It works for the Super Bowl.
322
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,102
Also, how about making the stars
smash their heads together
323
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,670
until they get brain damage?
324
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,106
It works for the Super Bowl.
325
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,407
But, really, we all know
326
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,576
what makes the Oscars
such a drag:
327
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,112
those interminable speeches.
328
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,182
And clearly,
playing people off with music
329
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,184
doesn't do jack shit.
330
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,686
And that's why
I've come up with a way
331
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,756
to guarantee the winners
don't wear out their welcome.
332
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,224
(applause)
333
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,126
All right, everyone,
let's keep it short.
334
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:22,296
My bus transfer expires
in 15 minutes,
335
00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:24,798
and I intend to use it.
336
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,470
Thank you to the Academy.
337
00:14:30,571 --> 00:14:33,073
Our heroes unite us, you know?
338
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,608
Uh, the best among us
339
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,178
who inspire us
to find the best in ourselves.
340
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,849
Um, you know,
when they unite us,
341
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,985
when-when we look to our heroes,
we agree.
342
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,988
Yeah, yeah, we all agree your
speech has gone on long enough.
343
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,691
Save the rest for your diary,
Bridget Jones.
344
00:14:50,791 --> 00:14:52,693
Venus and Serena and Selena.
345
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:55,829
Uh, Bob Dylan. Scorsese.
346
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,198
Uh, Fred Rogers.
347
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,633
Harriet Tubman.
348
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,202
Uh, Neil Armstrong. Sally Ride.
349
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,403
Uh, Dolores Huerta.
350
00:15:03,504 --> 00:15:06,473
Neil Armstrong's speech
was one sentence!
351
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,142
You're a disgrace to his legacy!
352
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,878
(cheering and applause)
353
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,916
Thank you.
Thank you all so very much.
354
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,452
As the hottest year
in recorded history,
355
00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:21,555
our production needed to move to
the southern tip of this planet
356
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,390
just to be able to find snow.
357
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,893
You got to be kidding me.
The glaciers may be melting,
358
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,061
but at least
they move faster than this.
359
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,665
For the last time, keep the
speeches short and to the point!
360
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,134
We feel entitled
361
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,603
to artificially inseminate
a cow,
362
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,139
and when she gives birth,
we steal her baby
363
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:42,075
even though her cries of anguish
are unmistakable.
364
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:45,512
And then we take her milk
that's intended for her calf,
365
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,448
and we put it in our coffee
and our cereal.
366
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:49,983
Oh, come on. Not for nothing,
367
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,318
but if you'd wrapped that up
earlier,
368
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:54,488
I wouldn't have needed
a midnight snack.
369
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:56,857
That's not only a great idea.
370
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,992
It's a great performance!
371
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,028
Where's my Oscar?!
372
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,197
Back to you, Trevor.
373
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,631
Thank you so much for that,
Lewis.
374
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:08,202
When we come back,
Kim, Kanye, Pete
375
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,238
and why it's not fun anymore.
Don't go away.
376
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,908
♪ ♪
377
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,011
One of the strangest things
378
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,247
to try
and wrap your head around,
379
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,183
I find,
especially in America, is...
380
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,852
when a story stops
381
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:30,489
only applying to the, um...
382
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,324
not the industry
that it's in but sort of, like,
383
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,726
the sector that it's in
and when it--
384
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,194
when it starts affecting
everybody
385
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,595
or speaking to everybody.
386
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,764
You know? What I mean by that is
387
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:41,300
there are some stories that are
purely, like, entertainment.
388
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,302
It's tabloid. It is...
389
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:44,537
it is what it is.
390
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,405
There are some stories
that are only sports.
391
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,207
There are some stories that are
only in the world of fi--
392
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:52,044
But then there are some stories
that I feel transcend everything
393
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,847
and then speak
to larger conversations.
394
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,249
And I honestly think
the-the Kim Kardashian,
395
00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:00,252
Kanye West, Pete Davidson
situation is turning into that.
396
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,255
You know? It started very much
in the land of tabloid,
397
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,992
but I feel it's creeping
and has crept into a world
398
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,928
that more people
should pay attention to
399
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,831
but not for the reason
that you may think.
400
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,265
You know?
401
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,335
For those who don't--
for those who don't know,
402
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,270
Kim Kardashian
was married to Kanye West.
403
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,172
If you don't know that,
I really envy your life.
404
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:23,109
I want to know how you roll and
how you avoid all these things.
405
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,278
But they were married,
they got divorced,
406
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:30,282
and, over time, Kanye has become
more and more belligerent
407
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,651
in how he tries to get Kim back.
408
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,254
Like, when it started,
it was-- it was, you know,
409
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,655
some would say, romantic.
410
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,325
"Oh, I want you back"
and, you know, "Here are roses"
411
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,626
and "This is my dream" and the--
412
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,061
And some people are like,
"Oh, okay, it makes sense.
413
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,796
You're trying to win somebody
back. We understand that."
414
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,465
But, over time, it's become more
and more belligerent.
415
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,434
And one
of the most extreme examples
416
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:50,903
was Kanye West
putting out a music video.
417
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,406
In the music video, he...
418
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,609
Like, it's a Claymation
music video, I should say.
419
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,478
He chops off
Pete Davidson's head.
420
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,080
And, I mean,
we-we all understand the sub--
421
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,681
Like,
"I-I wish this guy was dead"
422
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,383
is-is what Kanye's saying.
423
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:05,785
Now, Kanye f--
You know what I mean?
424
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,020
To be fair, Kanye says,
"No, this is just art.
425
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,555
"I don't actually want
to hurt him.
426
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,824
This is just art.
Don't judge my art."
427
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:13,259
But here's the thing.
428
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,195
First of all, just like
from a rap perspective,
429
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,464
I was sad that now, like,
rappers...
430
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,699
Like, Claymation and rap beefs
are a weird combination.
431
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,234
I'm not gonna...
It's pretty hard,
432
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,069
in my opinion, to be gangster
with Claymation
433
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,972
'cause you have to do, like,
one frame at a time, you know?
434
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,841
I do understand
that art can be therapy.
435
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,143
I honestly do understand that,
right?
436
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,780
But I also understand
that therapy can be therapy.
437
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,449
Do you know what I mean?
438
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,451
And what's weird
about the situation is,
439
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,652
Kanye West has told us
440
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,253
that he struggles
with his mental health.
441
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:43,389
So I get it.
You want to have art as therapy.
442
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,324
But here's what's weird
that Kanye doesn't understand
443
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:48,994
is, like,
what we're seeing is...
444
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,330
It's-it's...
445
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,835
It makes you uncomfortable, man,
because here's the thing.
446
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,304
Eminem was Eminem
from the beginning.
447
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,473
"I'm gonna kill my ex-wife,
I'm gonna..."
448
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,142
But it was his schtick,
and we knew it was his schtick.
449
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,077
He wasn't that person.
450
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,246
With Kanye,
we don't know how to feel,
451
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,647
we don't know how to worry.
452
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,116
And I think Kanye doesn't seem
to understand that.
453
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,951
He goes, "Oh, leave me
to create my art."
454
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,853
Yeah, but, Kanye,
you told us you have problems.
455
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:17,123
Now when we worry about that,
you say we shouldn't worry
456
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:20,526
because it's not problems,
or it is problems? Which is it?
457
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,828
It puts society
in a precarious position.
458
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,163
And the reason I say that is
459
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,631
because
of his harassment of Kim,
460
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,633
which I know is crazy to say.
461
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,968
'Cause there's a lot
of people who go like,
462
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,203
"Kim Kardashian--
she loves publicity,
463
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,205
"she loves celebrity,
she loves all of this.
464
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,574
She does The Kardashians. This
is her life, this is her thing."
465
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,811
Yeah, and I get it, but...
466
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,981
there's also an element
of a woman saying to her ex,
467
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,149
"Hey, please leave me alone."
468
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,984
You know what I mean?
469
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,086
"Please leave me alone."
470
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,555
And so, like, this story
keeps on escalating.
471
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:53,893
You've got Kanye West
who's harassing Kim Kardashian.
472
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,761
And then,
you've got Pete Davidson
473
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,897
who's now embroiled
in the whole thing.
474
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,065
And the story escalated
to a new level
475
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,569
when now Pete Davidson
leaked texts
476
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,905
that he sent back and forth
with Kanye.
477
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,442
He sent a selfie to-to,
um, Kanye West.
478
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,843
And Kanye said,
"Where are you?"
479
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:16,015
And he said,
"I'm in your wife's bed."
480
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:19,985
Funny. Right? And we also
don't... 'cause, I mean,
481
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,054
we don't know what the person's
doing. We-we know what we--
482
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,757
he's implying,
but because of the pandemic,
483
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,258
"in your bed" could
mean anything. Like,
484
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,061
my bed used to be a
place for sleep and sex,
485
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,331
now it's also, like,
a living room/meeting area.
486
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,767
So, "in your bed" could mean
anything, but we get what
487
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,770
Pete was going with, right?
We get what Pete was going with.
488
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,673
Going, "I'm in bed with your
wife." Then, after that,
489
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,174
there's a whole bunch
of texts where he says,
490
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,610
"Hey, listen, Kanye. Let's talk
as men. Let me help you with
491
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,846
your mental health. I've also
got mental health issues."
492
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,414
It was actually--
That part of the message
493
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,416
was really beautiful.
But I'm sorry, guys,
494
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,119
to start a message with,
"I'm in bed with your wife,"
495
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,987
and then go, like, "Let me
help with your mental health."
496
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,455
Yeah, now you've added
to the mental health
497
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:57,623
of the person that you're
trying to help them with.
498
00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:58,991
Do you get what I'm saying?
499
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,993
It's a little bit cra--
It's a little bit like
500
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,028
roasting somebody while
you're giving them CPR.
501
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,296
And now this thing--
502
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:08,434
it's-it's spun
into a story that seems
503
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,737
fully tabloid, but I think,
504
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,241
I think... deserves
a little more
505
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,444
awareness from the general
public. It's-it's--
506
00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:22,114
Because it touches on something
that is more sensitive
507
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,483
and more serious than people
would like to admit.
508
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,952
I know everyone thinks
it's a big marketing stunt.
509
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:30,055
"Oh, look at the coincidence,
Kim is launching a new show..."
510
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,625
Two things can be true.
Kim likes publicity.
511
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,760
Kim is also being harassed.
Those things can be happening
512
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,963
at the same time. 'Cause I'll
be honest with you, what I see
513
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:41,066
from this situation-- I see a
woman who wants to live her life
514
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:44,603
without being harassed by an
ex-boyfriend or an ex-husband
515
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,372
or an ex-anything.
516
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,974
You may not feel sorry for Kim,
you know, because
517
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:51,243
she's rich and famous, because
of the way she dresses,
518
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,845
because she appropriates
Black culture,
519
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,613
because she tells
women they're lazy,
520
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:55,981
because she broke the Internet
and then
521
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,116
didn't put it back together--
522
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,784
whatever,
you hate her, whatever.
523
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:03,422
But-- but. What she's going
through is terrifying to watch,
524
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:07,593
and it shines a spotlight
on what so many women go through
525
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,428
when they choose to leave.
You know, people always
526
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,530
say that phrase to women. They
go, like, "Why didn't you leave?
527
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:14,233
Oh, why didn't you leave?
Why didn't you leave?" Yeah.
528
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,769
Because a lot of women-women
realize, when they do leave,
529
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,672
the guy will get even crazier.
530
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:22,341
And when I say "crazy," I don't
mean "mental health crazy,"
531
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:23,976
I-- like, it's--
You-you understand what I mean.
532
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,845
You know what I mean.
533
00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:27,947
The point is that Kim Kardashian
and countless other women--
534
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:31,317
they find themselves in
a terrible position, you know?
535
00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:34,720
Because asking Kanye to stop
clearly isn't helping.
536
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:37,957
But at the same time, he hasn't
broken any laws, you know?
537
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,959
So, can she get him arrested?
No. I don't think so.
538
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,527
Would she even want to?
I mean...
539
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,395
You know,
she spends half her time...
540
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:46,599
helping Black people come out
of jail, so now she can't be
541
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,135
throwing Kanye West in.
It's a bit of a paradox.
542
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:53,005
But, still,
she's being harassed.
543
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,207
And I get it. Society's like,
"Ha-ha, you deserve it,
544
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,376
this is funny, this is that."
And I get it, also,
545
00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,612
from Kanye's side.
Like, the parts of Kanye--
546
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,980
there's-there's
parts I understand.
547
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,515
I understand Kanye saying,
"I don't want my daughter
548
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,583
on TikTok." I get--
I-I agree with
549
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,719
that part of what he's saying.
550
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,088
I'm not involved in other
people's relationships, though.
551
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:12,158
You know? I think
that's a separate issue.
552
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:15,661
What we're seeing, though,
is one of the most powerful,
553
00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:17,930
one of the richest
women in the world
554
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:21,267
unable to get her ex
to stop texting her,
555
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:23,936
to stop chasing after her,
to stop harassing her.
556
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,171
Just think about that
for a moment.
557
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,406
Think about how powerful
Kim Kardashian is,
558
00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:29,308
and she can't
get that to happen.
559
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,645
I grew up my whole life
in an abusive household, right?
560
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,679
Most of my li--
Let's say from the age
561
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:36,582
of nine to, whatever, 16.
562
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:39,218
One of the things I found most
interesting was how often
563
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:41,720
people told my mom
that she was overreacting.
564
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,689
What I found interesting
was how many times
565
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,558
people told my mom to calm down,
people told my family
566
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:47,093
to calm down-- everyone.
You know?
567
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,627
And everyone
had different reasons.
568
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:50,796
Oh, I remember once
we went to the police station,
569
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,665
and they said to my mom,
"Oh, but did you talk back?
570
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,600
Is that... Is that
why you're here?" You know?
571
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,769
Uh, you know, "Oh, but-but
what did you say to him?"
572
00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,571
It's all these questions.
All these questions.
573
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:01,173
I remember seeing this
as a child, by the way.
574
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,375
You see this as a child,
you know?
575
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:07,046
And you see a world where...
576
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:11,050
women are questioned
for what is happening to them
577
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:15,454
as opposed to people questioning
what is happening to them.
578
00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:18,657
And for years,
people said this shit.
579
00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:20,359
"Ah, no, this...
Ah, you know, these...
580
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,528
This happens. This hap...
That happens." Everyone.
581
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,930
Police, some family, strangers.
582
00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,465
Whatever it was.
Whatever it was.
583
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,768
And I'll never forget one day,
I got a call from my brother
584
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,337
saying, "Hey, Mom
has just been shot in the head.
585
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:34,273
She's in the hospital now.
She's just been shot."
586
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:36,842
And-and I-I'm not saying it
to make it about me.
587
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:38,611
I'm just saying maybe that's why
588
00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:40,279
I look at the story differently,
to be honest with you.
589
00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:42,948
Is I go,
"It seems like nothing."
590
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:44,483
And again,
I'm not saying Kanye will.
591
00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:46,152
Please. I'm not saying he will.
592
00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,087
I'm not saying that.
593
00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:49,722
But you see it
in all these stories
594
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,957
where people say, "We saw it,
but we didn't..." Or "We..."
595
00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:53,392
Whether it's the people
around him,
596
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,060
whether it's the people
in their lives,
597
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:58,664
whether it's us as society
condoning or not condoning.
598
00:24:58,764 --> 00:25:00,366
And I know it's nuanced.
599
00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:02,768
I know... I'm not saying
Kanye's just a bad guy.
600
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,404
Please. But just as society,
601
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,773
you know, we have
to ask ourselves questions.
602
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,176
Do we wish to stand by
603
00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,011
and watch a car crash
604
00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:13,913
when we thought
we saw it coming?
605
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,449
Or do we at least want to say,
"Hey, slow down.
606
00:25:16,549 --> 00:25:17,983
"Let's put...
Let's all put our hazards on
607
00:25:18,084 --> 00:25:20,352
'cause there's a storm right now
and some shit might go down."
608
00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:21,720
Let's just...
Let's just put our hazards...
609
00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:23,722
If it doesn't happen, hey,
the worst thing we did
610
00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,458
was we all had our hazards on
like idiots.
611
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:26,926
I'm... I'll be fine to say,
612
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,294
"I was an idiot.
Nothing happened."
613
00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:29,628
I would rather be
in that situation
614
00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:31,097
than to be in one where I say,
615
00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:34,934
"Man, I wish we didn't think
the whole thing
616
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,536
wasn't worth looking at."
617
00:25:37,636 --> 00:25:38,938
And all I'm saying
about this story
618
00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:42,074
is if Kim cannot escape this...
Kim Kardashian.
619
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:43,509
If she cannot escape this,
620
00:25:43,609 --> 00:25:46,312
then what chance
do normal women have?
621
00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:49,947
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
622
00:25:50,047 --> 00:25:52,650
My guest tonight
is Dr. Deepak Chopra.
623
00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:54,852
He's a pioneer
in integrative medicine
624
00:25:54,952 --> 00:25:56,654
and popular spirituality,
625
00:25:56,754 --> 00:25:59,023
and he's here
to talk about his latest book
626
00:25:59,123 --> 00:26:02,493
about finding prosperity within,
627
00:26:02,593 --> 00:26:04,929
Dr. Chopra,
welcome to The Daily Show.
628
00:26:05,029 --> 00:26:06,230
(chuckles): Thank you.
Thank you.
629
00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:09,700
Um, Abundance:
The Inner Path to Wealth.
630
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,837
Inspired by a lyric
from Bob Marley.
631
00:26:12,937 --> 00:26:15,806
-I love it. -Who said
some people are so poor
632
00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:17,475
all they have is money.
633
00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:18,910
Whew.
634
00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:21,546
I saw someone ask him a question
about that once in an interview.
635
00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:23,648
They said to him,
"Are you rich?"
636
00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,550
-And he says, "What does that
mean? -(chuckles) Yes.
637
00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,485
"Am I rich in friends?
Am I rich in family?
638
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,320
-"Am I rich in life? Am I rich
in money? -So beautiful.
639
00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:30,855
-What is rich?"
-Yeah, what is rich?
640
00:26:30,955 --> 00:26:32,924
And that lyric inspired me,
actually,
641
00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:35,426
to do some scientific research
642
00:26:35,526 --> 00:26:39,030
on does money buy you joy;
643
00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:41,032
does it buy you true love;
644
00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,967
does it buy you intuition,
645
00:26:43,067 --> 00:26:45,903
creativity,
insight, imagination;
646
00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,906
does it buy you even safety
and security.
647
00:26:49,073 --> 00:26:50,474
And the answer's no.
648
00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:53,144
So, money has a role,
649
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,645
but it's not everything.
650
00:26:54,745 --> 00:26:56,781
For-for the everyday person
who's reading this book,
651
00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:59,717
what I loved about it is you-you
go through parts of the body.
652
00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:00,918
You see the different chakras.
653
00:27:01,085 --> 00:27:04,555
You see how you-you tie,
um, yoga poses into...
654
00:27:04,655 --> 00:27:07,091
(stammers) the connection
between the spirit,
655
00:27:07,124 --> 00:27:08,960
the body, and the mind.
656
00:27:09,093 --> 00:27:13,698
I-I would love to talk
about how we, as people,
657
00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:17,535
can better connect with
an abundance inside of ourselves
658
00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:20,705
whilst also acknowledging the
external factors that affect us.
659
00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:23,307
Because many people
may not be extremely poor--
660
00:27:23,407 --> 00:27:24,842
obviously,
there are many who are--
661
00:27:24,942 --> 00:27:26,611
but, you know, there are
a lot of people who go,
662
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:28,613
"Well, I'm not--
I'm not extremely poor,
663
00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:31,649
but I'm not so wealthy
that I can't care in life."
664
00:27:31,749 --> 00:27:34,485
How do you begin to even start
this journey
665
00:27:34,585 --> 00:27:36,120
of finding an inner wealth
666
00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:37,889
when you are thinking about
your next check, et cetera?
667
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,758
You know, the word "chakra"
has become very popular,
668
00:27:40,858 --> 00:27:42,960
-as you know, because of yoga.
-Yes.
669
00:27:43,127 --> 00:27:45,630
But chakras are just centers
of awareness
670
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:48,065
that represent
the hierarchy of needs.
671
00:27:48,132 --> 00:27:50,268
The chakras speak
about seven levels.
672
00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:53,271
-So level one's
survival and safety. -Okay.
673
00:27:53,371 --> 00:27:56,574
Level two-- sensuality
through the five senses,
674
00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:58,376
-which is mindfulness.
-Okay.
675
00:27:58,476 --> 00:28:02,079
Every experience of the senses
should be sensuous
676
00:28:02,146 --> 00:28:04,582
and vibrant and alive.
677
00:28:04,682 --> 00:28:07,385
The third is money
and abundance.
678
00:28:07,485 --> 00:28:10,288
The fourth is love
and belongingness.
679
00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,657
The fifth is creative insight.
680
00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,525
The sixth is
higher consciousness
681
00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:16,527
in terms of insight,
imagination,
682
00:28:16,627 --> 00:28:18,396
archetypal thinking,
683
00:28:18,496 --> 00:28:20,565
and the seventh
is transcendence.
684
00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:23,868
So each of these chakras
has special modalities
685
00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:26,704
to activate them
through attention,
686
00:28:26,804 --> 00:28:29,207
intention and transcendence.
687
00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:30,808
And there are rituals
for doing this.
688
00:28:30,908 --> 00:28:32,476
You will say, "Why rituals?"
689
00:28:32,577 --> 00:28:34,612
They are symbolic
representations
690
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:37,448
of our needs
and our aspirations.
691
00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:39,851
Mm. What do you think
we should be aspiring to?
692
00:28:39,951 --> 00:28:42,220
Ultimately? To joy.
693
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,222
If joy is not
the measure of success,
694
00:28:44,322 --> 00:28:46,290
-you wasted your life.
-Wow.
695
00:28:46,390 --> 00:28:48,392
You don't want
to end your life saying,
696
00:28:48,492 --> 00:28:52,496
"I made all the money in the
world, but I was never joyful."
697
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,098
You talk about everything.
698
00:28:54,198 --> 00:28:58,236
You-you study everything,
you know.
699
00:28:58,336 --> 00:29:00,438
I think that's what a lot of
people enjoy about your work is
700
00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:02,907
that it is not, um,
apart from the world,
701
00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:06,444
but it is a part of what is
happening in the world.
702
00:29:06,544 --> 00:29:09,680
Let's talk a little bit about
what's happening in Ukraine.
703
00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:11,883
You know, we're seeing
a situation now
704
00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:13,918
where the whole world feels like
705
00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:16,921
it is at the mercy
of a mad man.
706
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:19,790
And when I was reading a... you
know, this book, I was thinking,
707
00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,259
"These are such fantastic tips
708
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,461
on how to do
whatever you want to do."
709
00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:25,229
And then I sometimes go, "Man,
710
00:29:25,329 --> 00:29:27,365
what if books like these
get into wrong hands?"
711
00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:29,800
What if the wrong people use
your books to go, "Oh,
712
00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:31,836
this is how I will actualize
an evil thing in the world"?
713
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:33,671
So, when you look at somebody
like Vladimir Putin,
714
00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:34,972
-for instance, you know...
-Well, yes.
715
00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:37,308
...is he
not actualizing everything?
716
00:29:37,408 --> 00:29:40,244
A Freudian analysis
of Vladimir Putin is
717
00:29:40,344 --> 00:29:43,447
that he's a sexually impotent
psychopath
718
00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:47,785
who is taking his rage out
through mass murder.
719
00:29:47,885 --> 00:29:51,889
He belongs in a cage
at The Hague, ultimately.
720
00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:55,960
And the only way, by the way,
he can-- there's no military
721
00:29:56,060 --> 00:30:00,865
solution to it. One solution
could be, again, a Gandhian,
722
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,367
Mandelian solution--
723
00:30:03,467 --> 00:30:08,105
if the Russians participated in
724
00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:13,177
civil disobedience and massive
peaceful strikes and
725
00:30:13,277 --> 00:30:18,216
paralyzed the country. Now, they
would do it if they knew what
726
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:21,919
-the facts are. But now he's
cut off all the media... -Right.
727
00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:25,990
And Twitter and all that.
That's... in the--
728
00:30:26,090 --> 00:30:30,161
Practically speaking, the only
way is for the Russians to
729
00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:32,730
-get rid of him.
-Wow.
730
00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:35,833
I'm still getting over the fact
that you said he is impotent
731
00:30:35,933 --> 00:30:37,835
-and he's...
-It's a Freudian interpretation.
732
00:30:37,935 --> 00:30:39,437
-A Freudian interpretation.
-As you know, Freud was
733
00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:42,139
-obsessed with the first chakra.
-Yes. Yes (laughs)
734
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,209
It's an interesting world,
in how they all tie together.
735
00:30:45,309 --> 00:30:49,213
You-you actually tweeted, you
know, I think it was to Putin,
736
00:30:49,313 --> 00:30:52,049
essentially, you said,
"Karma never loses an address."
737
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:53,684
-That's it. -Help
me understand that, though.
738
00:30:53,784 --> 00:30:56,687
Does that mean that, you know,
bad things will happen
739
00:30:56,787 --> 00:30:59,624
to bad people, or does it mean
that maybe in the next life,
740
00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:01,192
something could happen--
Like, when does,
741
00:31:01,292 --> 00:31:03,060
when does Putin's karma come?
742
00:31:03,094 --> 00:31:05,897
It's an echo from the past.
743
00:31:06,063 --> 00:31:10,601
I have seen, very rarely,
tyrants-- whether it's
744
00:31:10,701 --> 00:31:15,139
Saddam Hussein, or it's any of
the recent people from Libya,
745
00:31:15,239 --> 00:31:20,778
Qaddafi, um, or... what's his
name, from, uh, that country
746
00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:22,146
-next to yours...
-Oh, Zimbabwe?
747
00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:24,081
-Um... now I can't believe
-Not Zimbabwe.
748
00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:25,883
-I've forgotten his name now.
He was so omnipresent. -Yeah.
749
00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:27,351
-Robert Mugabe.
-Mugabe.
750
00:31:27,451 --> 00:31:30,087
-Yes. -And-and the other guy,
Idi Amin.
751
00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:33,624
And they all had
very terrible ends. You know?
752
00:31:33,724 --> 00:31:35,927
So, you never know.
753
00:31:36,093 --> 00:31:38,529
So, I believe
in the law of karma.
754
00:31:38,629 --> 00:31:41,098
-It's an echo from the past.
-Mm.
755
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:45,102
Um... one of the issues
that you are
756
00:31:45,136 --> 00:31:47,405
really passionate about
is suicide prevention.
757
00:31:47,505 --> 00:31:50,508
We've seen a lot of that spike,
especially in the pandemic.
758
00:31:50,608 --> 00:31:53,578
-Your foundation works to-to
find this-- -Yeah, so, suicide
759
00:31:53,678 --> 00:31:58,049
is the second-most common cause
of death in-- among teens.
760
00:31:58,115 --> 00:32:00,685
Um, it is, uh--
Every 40 seconds,
761
00:32:00,785 --> 00:32:04,121
somebody is killing themselves
in the world.
762
00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:06,757
Last year, more people
died from suicide in Japan
763
00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:09,260
-than from COVID-19.
-Wow.
764
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,562
It's, uh, it's
the biggest pandemic,
765
00:32:11,662 --> 00:32:15,166
and our humanity is incomplete
unless we address it.
766
00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:18,836
So we created,
uh, this, uh, website
767
00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:20,838
called NeverAlone.Love.
768
00:32:20,938 --> 00:32:23,841
And we have a chatbot
over there named Pee-Wee--
769
00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:28,479
named after a recording artist
who died from suicide--
770
00:32:28,579 --> 00:32:32,984
and she is a machine.
And teens love to talk to her
771
00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:34,519
because they don't feel judged.
772
00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:38,089
And, uh, and they're more,
uh, more comfortable
773
00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:39,390
talking to a machine
774
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:40,725
-than a human being.
-Wow, are you serious?
775
00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:43,461
I'm serious.
This is the world we live in.
776
00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:46,163
So she has now de-escalated
777
00:32:46,264 --> 00:32:48,299
about 6,000 suicide attempts.
778
00:32:48,399 --> 00:32:51,869
11 million conversations
happening through text.
779
00:32:52,036 --> 00:32:54,038
How do you program that machine?
780
00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:56,240
-Because...
-It's an AI.
781
00:32:56,340 --> 00:32:58,843
-Yeah, but-but AI has to be
taught by somebody. -Yeah.
782
00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:00,478
And as we've learned
in other tech,
783
00:33:00,578 --> 00:33:03,047
AI will have its shortcomings
because of who...
784
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,283
So, what-what do you try
and teach the AI
785
00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:06,884
-that we should maybe be
learning? -It's a...
786
00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:10,321
It's an ethical AI,
and now there are safeguards
787
00:33:10,421 --> 00:33:13,057
on how to create ethical AIs
788
00:33:13,090 --> 00:33:16,093
which are not like fake videos
789
00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:18,162
-or fake, uh, anything.
-Yeah.
790
00:33:18,262 --> 00:33:21,465
And it's built into the system,
the ethics.
791
00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:24,168
And there's
a whole association now
792
00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:26,070
amongst AI experts
793
00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,839
that is accelerating
the movement
794
00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,808
of ethical AIs.
795
00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:33,744
This is going to get even better
in the future.
796
00:33:33,844 --> 00:33:36,647
And, of course, we always have
humans at the back end.
797
00:33:36,747 --> 00:33:38,549
-You have to.
-Right.
798
00:33:38,649 --> 00:33:40,618
Uh, Dr. Deepak Chopra,
799
00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:42,320
you are a fascinating man,
you know?
800
00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:45,089
The chakras, AI, Vladimir Putin.
801
00:33:45,122 --> 00:33:46,224
-(chuckles)
-I mean,
802
00:33:46,324 --> 00:33:47,658
it all comes together with you.
Thank you
803
00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,460
-for taking the time to join me
on the show. -Thank you.
804
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,495
You're very good to me,
and thank you for doing this.
805
00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,064
-Thank you so much
for being here. -Thank you.
806
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:54,532
All right, everybody.
807
00:33:54,632 --> 00:33:56,868
Abundance:
The Inner Path to Wealth
808
00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:58,035
is available now.
809
00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,937
Dr. Chopra
also has a meditation app
810
00:34:00,037 --> 00:34:01,272
and an Audible podcast,
811
00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,773
so be sure to check those out,
as well.
812
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:03,941
We're gonna take a quick break,
813
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:05,576
but we'll be right back
after this.
814
00:34:08,145 --> 00:34:09,446
Well, that's our show
for tonight.
815
00:34:09,546 --> 00:34:10,881
But before we go,
please consider supporting
816
00:34:10,981 --> 00:34:13,283
the National Network
to End Domestic Violence.
817
00:34:13,384 --> 00:34:16,620
They work to meet
the ongoing and emerging needs
818
00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,389
of domestic violence victims.
819
00:34:18,489 --> 00:34:19,757
If you can help them
in their work,
820
00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:21,692
then please donate
at the link below.
821
00:34:21,792 --> 00:34:24,261
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
822
00:34:24,361 --> 00:34:26,697
♪ ♪
823
00:34:26,797 --> 00:34:28,932
My father had
a great relationship with Putin.
824
00:34:29,033 --> 00:34:30,934
Putin was in with the KGB.
He could read people,
825
00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:32,369
and he could tell
that Donald Trump
826
00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,038
was a very strong person, right?
827
00:34:34,138 --> 00:34:35,739
This would have never happened
under Donald Trump.
828
00:34:35,839 --> 00:34:37,207
My father would,
you know, call up,
829
00:34:37,307 --> 00:34:39,243
and he would've said, "Vladimir,
don't even think about it.
830
00:34:39,343 --> 00:34:41,145
"Don't even try us.
831
00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:43,314
I'm telling you, it's not gonna
work out very well for you."
832
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:45,049
My father... My father...
My father... My father...
833
00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:46,617
My father's always had
great intuition.
834
00:34:46,717 --> 00:34:49,453
My father was so far ahead
of this whole situation.