1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,236 This is a piece of interesting news 2 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,037 that happened today. So, they found a shipwreck 3 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,373 from I don't know how many years... 4 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,175 Hundreds, something years ago. 5 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,410 And it's like... It's like another one of those stories. 6 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,912 You know when they go like, "Oh, they went somewhere"? 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,313 It was actually a South African ship. 8 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,549 Props to South African ships. You know how we do. 9 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:19,453 It was a South African ship that, like, went somewhere 10 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,421 to find the ship that was wrecked. 11 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,991 And I don't really care about the details of the shipwreck. 12 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:26,360 I'll be honest. 'Cause it's like, the ship sank. 13 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,528 I don't care about ships that sank. 14 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,996 I prefer the ships that didn't sink. 15 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:32,266 Um, but this is what gets me, right, 16 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,469 is how come you're allowed to just keep what you find 17 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,070 in a shipwreck? 18 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,574 Like, I don't understand why, like, "law in the sea" 19 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,742 just is like... 20 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,677 It's like pirate law, essentially. 21 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,612 Everywhere else in the world, we have laws, you know? 22 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,080 Like, you can't find a thing in the desert 23 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,715 and keep it. You understand that? 24 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,484 No one, like, lives... There's, like, big pieces of the desert, 25 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,052 but you can't just find shit there and keep it. 26 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,087 But in the ocean, you can just do whatever you want, 27 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,589 Find a ship, it's yours. 28 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,291 That's it. You can't do that anywhere else. 29 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,660 And they're like, "No, it's the finders keepers law." 30 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,228 Maritime law. You find it, 31 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,829 and then you've got it, and then... 32 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,065 You understand how crazy that would be if we applied that law? 33 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,700 Imagine if you were at a mall 34 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,735 and then, like, you lost your car in the parking lot. 35 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,204 And you're like, "Ah, I lost my car." 36 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:13,707 And everyone's like, "Ah! It's mine now, bitches!" 37 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:16,343 That's essentially what's happening here. 38 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,912 Just the chaos. It would be fun, though, 39 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,347 if we did have those laws in life. 40 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,182 Like, the next time you're at a music fest 41 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,084 and you're like, "Oh, I've lost my wife." 42 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:27,321 And everyone's like... (laughs) 43 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,790 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square 44 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,693 in New York City, the only city in America, 45 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,962 it's The Daily Show. 46 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,865 Tonight, no more matches for Russia, 47 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,767 cancel culture is out of control, 48 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,737 and Dolly Parton and James Patterson. 49 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:48,275 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 50 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,110 Hey! What's going on, everybody? 51 00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:51,879 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 52 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:55,516 We are now entering week three of the war in Ukraine, 53 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,652 and there is a lot going on both in the combat zone 54 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,220 and around the world. 55 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,689 So, let's catch up on all the latest updates 56 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,626 in our ongoing coverage of the war in Ukraine. 57 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,761 ♪ ♪ 58 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,901 As you probably know, one of the big stories 59 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,769 of Vladimir Putin's invasion of Ukraine 60 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,504 has been the surprising resilience 61 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:18,939 of the Ukrainian people. 62 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,808 But what's been almost more surprising 63 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,911 is that it turns out the Russian military 64 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,647 wasn't as prepared or powerful 65 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,615 or effective as everybody thought. 66 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,318 Yeah. Their tanks are falling apart, 67 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,887 their trucks are getting stuck in the mud, 68 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,390 and the soldiers don't seem very prepared, 69 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,425 which is not what any of us expected. 70 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,161 You know? Russia struggling is not what anybody thought. 71 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,596 It's like, imagine if in Game of Thrones, 72 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,698 we waited seven seasons for the White Walkers, 73 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,099 and then when they arrived, 74 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,468 it was just a bunch of old dudes using walkers. 75 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,003 You know, I mean, it still would have been 76 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,405 a better ending, but you know what I mean. 77 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,773 You know, when you think about it, 78 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,474 you realize there's a chance that Russia's nukes 79 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,909 don't even work, yeah? 80 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,012 'Cause if you look at the trucks that get stuck in the mud, 81 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,147 you realize there's a chance 82 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,281 that their nuclear weapons don't work. 83 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,616 Like, they might press that red button 84 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,051 and the nukes are just gonna be like... 85 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,119 (coughing) 86 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,855 (thudding sounds) 87 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,089 Yeah. 88 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,824 Now, please note, if I'm wrong about the nukes, 89 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,159 we're all dead. 90 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,127 So, whatever you do, don't act on my intelligence. 91 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,597 This is just me brainstorming here. 92 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,332 The point is that, 93 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,867 in the two weeks that this has been going on, 94 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,401 Russia has only been able to capture, 95 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:25,072 completely capture, one major Ukrainian city so far. 96 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,206 But that hardly means 97 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:27,641 that things are going well for Ukraine. 98 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,576 Several other cities are under siege 99 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,578 and facing constant bombardment, 100 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,714 and Russian troops have taken control 101 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,250 of one especially strategic asset. 102 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,684 NEWSMAN: Ukraine is raising alarms 103 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,220 about the situation at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, 104 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,090 the site of the world's worst nuclear disaster. 105 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,259 Ukrainian officials say Russian forces 106 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:49,096 disconnected the decommissioned facility from the power grid 107 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,199 but called for a ceasefire in order to restore power. 108 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,734 Ukraine's foreign minister says 109 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,936 the plant has reserve diesel generators 110 00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,704 that can power it for 48 hours, 111 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,139 but, after that, 112 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,708 the cooling systems for spent nuclear fuel stored there 113 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,043 will stop, 114 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,546 making radiation leaks imminent. 115 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,282 Ah, come on, Russia! 116 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,784 Can you not mess around with a nuclear power plant?! 117 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,053 It's nuclear power! I mean... 118 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,055 I want season two of Chernobyl, yes, 119 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,292 but I also want to be around to watch season two of Chernobyl. 120 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,927 Now, thankfully, 121 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:23,463 the International Atomic Energy Agency says 122 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,700 that there's no danger of a leak right now. 123 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,335 Which is good news... 124 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,204 right now. 125 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,140 But, I mean, regardless, Russia, what are you doing? Huh? 126 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,310 I mean, we're already dealing with one meltdown over here. 127 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,245 The world doesn't need another one. 128 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,214 And a Chernobyl disaster is bad news for you. 129 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,882 Think about it. I mean, best-case scenario, 130 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,618 best-case scenario, what happens if you screw this up, huh? 131 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,353 A lot of Russians get sick. 132 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,921 Worst-case scenario, 133 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:52,125 the radiation is gonna create an army of mutant super Ukrainians. 134 00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,927 And, right now, you can't even beat the regular ones, 135 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,163 so is this a move you really want to make? 136 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,733 Now, while all of this is taking place in Eastern Europe, 137 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,169 the West is still trying to figure out 138 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,171 how involved NATO should get 139 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,841 in helping Ukraine fight off the Russian invasion. 140 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,343 Because, you see, so far, 141 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,246 NATO has been sending a lot of weapons into Ukraine. 142 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,081 They've been sending surface-to-air missiles, 143 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,249 antitank missiles, 144 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,950 rocket launchers, guns, ammo, 145 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,520 some LEGOs for the Russians to step on-- everything. 146 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,522 And these weapons are all helping. 147 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,524 But what Ukraine really wants, 148 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,192 really, really, really wants, 149 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,361 is some fighter jets, 150 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,631 which, apparently, is a much trickier request. 151 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,233 The Biden administration racing to catch up to news 152 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,069 that Poland is offering to provide used fighter jets, 153 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,072 MiGs, that could ultimately be delivered to Ukraine. 154 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,241 Multiple sources telling CNN that report 155 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,777 initially caught U.S. officials completely off guard. 156 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:48,081 Poland said it would give Ukraine all of its MiG-29 jets 157 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:51,885 but transfer them to an American air base in Germany, 158 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,887 but the Pentagon said no, 159 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:57,524 that it's too close to direct U.S. military involvement 160 00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,092 in the fight against Russia. 161 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,329 Okay, this is... this is weird. This is really weird. 162 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,731 Poland has offered Ukraine fighter jets, 163 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:08,468 but they don't want to give the jets to Ukraine directly 164 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,438 because then they will be in a direct war with Russia. 165 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,308 So instead, they want to give the jets to America, 166 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,410 and then America hands them to Ukraine. 167 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,045 But then, America doesn't want to do that 168 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,447 because then they are fighting Russia directly. 169 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,283 So now there's jets, and there's Ukraine, 170 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,853 but nobody knows how to bring the two together. 171 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,689 And I'll be honest, I don't know why this is so complicated. 172 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,957 I mean, you just have to treat these jets 173 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,692 like an old couch that you don't want anymore. 174 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,493 Yeah, you just leave it on the sidewalk, 175 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,063 and then, if Ukraine happens to walk by and find a jet, 176 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:40,367 I mean, what's Poland got to do with it, eh? 177 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,369 Also, I don't know if it's just me. 178 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,071 I don't know if it's just me, but it's weird 179 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,374 that they're going through all these mental gymnastics here 180 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,610 because even if Poland finds some sneaky way 181 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,746 to get these planes to Ukraine, isn't Russia going to know 182 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:56,083 where the planes came from? You told us on the news! 183 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,584 (Russian accent): Comrade, did you notice 184 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,386 Poland offered Ukraine jets? 185 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:03,023 Now Ukraine has Polish jets. How did that happen? 186 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,525 (Russian accent): Yeah, probably same way 187 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,727 toast always lands butter side down, huh? 188 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,062 Life is crazy. We'll never know. 189 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,632 And this has been a tricky situation since the war started. 190 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:18,071 How involved can NATO get without Russia turning on them? 191 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:21,441 And I'll be honest. I get it. It is hard to figure out. 192 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,843 You know, this is like 193 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,278 the ultimate conundrum of life sometimes. 194 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:27,948 Like, the other day, I saw a mugging on the subway. 195 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,317 And I'm not going to jump in to stop it 196 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,187 because now, that person is stabbing me. 197 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,056 So instead, I said, "Hey, don't do that!" 198 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,792 And then, I immediately jumped off the train, and I ran away. 199 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,328 Which I think struck the right balance, you know? 200 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:44,164 Now, while the war-war rages on, 201 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,935 the West's economic war against Russia is ramping up, too. 202 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,737 Just yesterday, President Biden banned all Russian oil 203 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,406 from entering America. 204 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,474 But that's created its own problems 205 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:57,110 because Americans still need gasoline 206 00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,713 to drive cars and to heat offices 207 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,316 and to set their homes on fire for the insurance money. 208 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,852 So, President Biden is going around the world 209 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,020 asking other countries to pump more gas 210 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,856 to replace Russia's, right? 211 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,724 Unfortunately, 212 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,160 some of the country's that could help America 213 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,330 apparently won't pick up the phone. 214 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,332 As Americans watch gas prices rise, 215 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:21,034 the Biden administration is now looking at importing oil 216 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,537 from hostile countries, but it's not going so well. 217 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,906 The Wall Street Journal reports President Biden tried 218 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,574 to call the leaders of Saudi Arabia 219 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,109 and the United Arab Emirates, 220 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,644 but they would not take his call. 221 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,546 NEWSWOMAN 2: Officials from both countries are upset 222 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,047 over American policy in the Gulf. 223 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,817 Specifically, the Saudis want legal immunity 224 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,520 for Prince Mohammed bin Salman in the U.S. 225 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,055 He's facing several lawsuits over the killing 226 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,358 of journalist Jamal Khashoggi back in 2018. 227 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:48,061 Saudi Arabia and the UAE also want more backing 228 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,765 from the U.S. in Yemen to quell the civil war there. 229 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,268 And both are also reportedly not happy 230 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,403 with the revival of the Iranian nuclear deal. 231 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,772 You have got to be kidding me. 232 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,476 Apparently, Saudi Arabia won't even pick up the phone 233 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,445 for the president of the United States. 234 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,281 I mean, look, I know it's hard to arrange those calls. 235 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,016 You know, Riyadh is eight hours ahead. 236 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,384 Biden is asleep by 4:00 p.m. 237 00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,486 It's a narrow window to make it work, but still. 238 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,121 That must have been really embarrassing for Biden. 239 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,355 Can you imagine? 240 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,191 He phones them, and they don't pick up. 241 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,059 He probably had to do that thing where you pretend 242 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,627 that the other person did pick up. 243 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,531 -(dial tone sounding) -(laughs) Yes. MBS. (laughs) My man. 244 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,067 (laughs) Yeah, Ukraine. That is why I'm calling. 245 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,569 You got me, baby. You got... Yeah. 246 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,204 Oh, I have been working out, yeah. 247 00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:33,073 This guy loves me. He loves me. (chuckles) 248 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,842 Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll call you back. 249 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,176 All right, love you, too. 250 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,611 You know what the White House needs to do? 251 00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,246 You know what they should do for this situation? 252 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,349 They need to redirect the call that instead of Washington D.C., 253 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,252 it looks like the call is coming from Ohio. Yeah. 254 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,689 Because then, the Saudis' curiosity is going to get them. 255 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,224 Phone's gonna ring. They're gonna be like, 256 00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:52,125 "Ah, who's calling from Ohio? 257 00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,694 Do we know anybody from Ohio?" 258 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,262 And somebody's gonna be like, "Don't answer, don't answer." 259 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,431 "Ah, but what if it's LeBron? I have to answer. 260 00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,399 "Hello. Ah, Joe Biden! 261 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,134 "Damn it, you were right. Ah, shit! 262 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:02,903 Yes. Yes." (laughs) 263 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,471 "I was hoping you would call." 264 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,106 Now, according to the White House, 265 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,709 according to the White House, this story is totally untrue. 266 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,278 They deny it. Which I would, too. 267 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,947 But either way, man, there is no denying 268 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,817 that Saudi Arabia isn't playing ball with Joe Biden. 269 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,785 And you know what, you can say what you want, 270 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,588 but this would have never happened 271 00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:25,158 to Donald Trump. Never. 272 00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:28,362 No one was ever ignoring Donald Trump's calls. 273 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,731 Yeah, 'cause if you ignored Donald Trump's calls, 274 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,599 you didn't know how he would respond. 275 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,935 Maybe he'd send an angry tweet, 276 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,171 or maybe he'd just, like, ban your country from everything. 277 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:38,572 You don't know. 278 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,107 That's why I bet in these situations, 279 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,043 Biden actually wishes that he could hire Trump to step in 280 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,912 as President Wild Card. You know? 281 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,780 Just keep everyone on their toes. 282 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,782 'Cause if Trump was calling, you best believe the UAE-- 283 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,350 they'll be racing to pick up the phone, 284 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,120 Ah, Mr. Trump! Mr. Trump, we're here, we're here, hello? 285 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,023 Too late, Ahmed, you made me wait two rings. 286 00:10:56,123 --> 00:11:00,527 we're bombing the UAE and the UFC, just in case. 287 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,796 Now, while Biden and NATO are trying to figure out 288 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,466 how to get Russia back in line, people all over the world 289 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,736 are trying to do their part to stand up to the Russian regime. 290 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,406 The only downside is that some people 291 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,843 don't quite seem to understand the assignment. 292 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,245 NEWSMAN: Backlash to the Russian invasion of Ukraine 293 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,849 is leading to some misguided hostility in the U.S. 294 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,852 Congressman, uh, Eric Swalwell, who says that 295 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,387 the consideration of kicking every Russian student 296 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,523 out of the U.S. should be on the table. 297 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,826 NEWSMAN 2: A young Russian pianist who is set to perform 298 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,729 with the Montreal Symphony Orchestra this week 299 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:39,099 has been struck from the schedule after protests. 300 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,534 NEWSMAN 3: The Cardiff Philharmonic Orchestra have 301 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:44,137 removed the Russian composer Tchaikovsky from its program 302 00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:45,873 of up-and-coming concerts 303 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,408 due to the current conflict in Ukraine. 304 00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:50,410 NEWSWOMAN: A popular Russian restaurant in D.C. 305 00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:52,012 is now vandalized. 306 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,414 D.C. police say several people broke windows 307 00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:56,683 and spray-painted anti-Russian writing 308 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:59,620 on the Russia House Restaurant. 309 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,455 NEWSMAN 4: New York's Russian Samovar restaurant 310 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,691 says they've lost 60% of their customers. 311 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,693 The co-owner is half Ukrainian. 312 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,662 NEWSWOMAN 2: He said their sign has been kicked down 313 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,431 and people have been leaving one-star reviews online, 314 00:12:11,532 --> 00:12:13,901 saying things like "stop the war." 315 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,537 Just because you're "Russian establishment" 316 00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,839 does not mean you cut a check to Putin or his regime. 317 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,075 Aw, man. Really, people? Really? 318 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,877 You know, the only thing worse than not getting help 319 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,079 is getting help from idiots. 320 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,615 People, just because something is Russian 321 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,352 doesn't mean it's automatically bad. All right? 322 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,922 Like, like Russian dressing, for examp-- 323 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,224 Okay, that-that is bad. That's actually bad. 324 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:38,792 Yeah, that tastes like ketchup died 325 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,228 inside a bottle of mayonnaise, but you get what I'm saying. 326 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,263 Not all Russian things are bad because of 327 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,432 what's happening in Russia. Do you understand? 328 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,402 You're not trying to be against the Russian people, 329 00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:51,438 you're trying to be against the Russian government, 330 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,107 to stop them from what they're doing in Ukraine. 331 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,510 You understand that you can be anti-Russia 332 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,513 and pro-Russian? All right? 333 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,548 It the same way you can question the Chinese government's 334 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,183 handling of coronavirus without 335 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,185 punching Asian grandmothers in the street. 336 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,553 Do you understand this? 337 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,689 Americans, of all people, should understand this. 338 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,592 Yeah. You know, sometimes people want to be separated from 339 00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,894 the actions of their government. Yeah, we've seen you Americans 340 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,562 traveling around the world with your Canadian flag 341 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,131 sewn on your backpacks. And you know we can't tell 342 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,766 the difference between your accents. 343 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,235 By the way, you might think it's a good idea 344 00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,137 to ban Tchaikovsky now, but wait until Christmas comes 345 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,772 and you're trying to get your Nutcracker on. 346 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,774 Then come talk to me. 347 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,776 But, look, idiots taking their anger out 348 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,079 on Russian restaurants in New York-- that's one thing. 349 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,248 There is another backlash that's going on 350 00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,984 with corporations which does make sense. 351 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,753 Every day, more and more corporations are deciding 352 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,289 they don't want to be a part of the Russian economy 353 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,224 that is funding this war. Right? 354 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,094 As we told you yesterday, McDonald's, Starbucks, 355 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,096 and now Coca-Cola have announced 356 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,733 that they're suspending business in Russia. Yes. 357 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,735 Which means the Russian people are gonna be forced 358 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,937 to develop diabetes on their own now. 359 00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:58,238 Yeah. And today-- 360 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,909 today, another big name is calling it quits. 361 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,845 ANCHOR: Bumble also announced it will be discontinuing operations 362 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,847 in Russia, removing all of its apps from the 363 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:10,117 Apple App Store and Google Play Store in Russia and Belarus, 364 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,085 and it's just the latest company to do so. 365 00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,554 Wow. 366 00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:16,557 No more Bumble in Russia. 367 00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:18,225 That's harsh. 368 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,894 Yeah, you need dating apps in a country where 369 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,663 the cuffing season is ten months long. 370 00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:24,598 You seen their winters? 371 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,832 And I know you might be saying, 372 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,768 "Oh, Trevor, meeting women in Russia is easy. 373 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,103 All you have to do is look inside a slightly larger woman." 374 00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,072 But that's not how it works! Don't be stupid. 375 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,075 This is yet another hit to the Russian people 376 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,744 because of what Putin has done. And, you know, 377 00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:41,215 when you think about it, because Russian people only get 378 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:45,352 Russian news, they probably have no idea why all these companies 379 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,154 are closing, none. 380 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,357 Think about it. Every day, something else just disappears 381 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,694 from their life. Mcdonald's, gone. Starbucks, gone. 382 00:14:53,794 --> 00:14:57,631 Coca-Cola, gone. You don't know why. 383 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,733 Can you imagine how confusing that must be? 384 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,468 Yeah, there's probably Russians just walking around like, 385 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,805 "Huh, I guess I was the only person drinking Coke?" 386 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:08,275 Now, as always, where the western companies move out, 387 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:12,579 the Russian government steps in. And luckily, 388 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,349 for all the Russians looking to meet horny singles in their 389 00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:19,186 area, there's another app that's coming out. 390 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,289 (Russian Accent) Comrades, are you upset that Bumble has 391 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,758 abandoned Mother Russia, like coward? 392 00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,494 Well, do not worry, or we put you in jail. 393 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:31,665 you do not need Bumble, because Russia has new dating app, 394 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:36,069 Putin' Out. Now you can meet single Russians who match your 395 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:41,108 interests, like loving Putin or willing to die for Putin 396 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,843 or feet. 397 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,211 Or just swipe right on fellow Russians, 398 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,347 then use chat feature to learn more about them. 399 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,751 Maybe you fall in love, or maybe you report them to police. 400 00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,653 Either way, is win. 401 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:56,290 After matching on Putin' Out, you will enjoy all kinds of 402 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,593 fun dating adventures like storming Odessa Beaches 403 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:03,630 or cleaning normal glowing rocks in Chernobyl, so fun. 404 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,266 So sign up today for Putin' Out. 405 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,502 Does not matter if you already married. 406 00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:10,804 Is mandatory. 407 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:12,172 (regular accent): All right, when we come back, 408 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,541 New Yorkers are getting cancelled 409 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,110 and Dolly Parton and James Patterson 410 00:16:17,211 --> 00:16:20,047 are joining me are on the show. You don't want to miss it. 411 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,714 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 412 00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:24,016 You know, these days, a lot of people 413 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,784 are worried about cancel culture. 414 00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:28,754 "Oh, what if a camera catches me saying the wrong thing 415 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,690 at the wrong time and my life is over?" 416 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,091 But the truth is that doesn't happen. 417 00:16:33,191 --> 00:16:34,793 There's no camera that's roaming the streets 418 00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,462 trying to cancel people. 419 00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:40,332 So, we thought, "Wouldn't it be great if that was a thing? 420 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:43,068 What if there was a camera that was doing just that?" 421 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,538 And that's why we have Cancel Cam. 422 00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,673 ♪ ♪ 423 00:16:58,717 --> 00:16:59,918 Yes. 424 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,820 MAN: Um, I have a quick question for you. 425 00:17:14,332 --> 00:17:17,202 ♪ ♪ 426 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,337 MAN: Excuse me. Um... 427 00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,481 I have a question for you. Uh... 428 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:34,853 -Sorry, northern...? -Northern Canada? 429 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:36,455 You're talking about Canada? 430 00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:40,025 ♪ ♪ 431 00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:45,397 MAN: Excuse me. Excuse me. 432 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:46,865 -Hey. -MAN: Uh... 433 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,803 Um... 434 00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:54,606 I don't know. What do you mean by "left-handed people"? 435 00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,913 Oh, my gosh. I don't know. 436 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,648 (laughing) 437 00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:10,222 ♪ ♪ 438 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,991 Excuse me. Uh... 439 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,728 Elmo? Like from Sesame Street? 440 00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:28,573 Excuse me! Uh... 441 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,587 I'm sorry. Uh, do you speak English? 442 00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,590 -Yeah, but that was a hard question. -(chuckles) 443 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,294 ♪ ♪ 444 00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:54,299 All right, when we come back, 445 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,068 the amazing Dolly Parton 446 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:59,071 and novelist James Patterson will be joining me on the show. 447 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:00,439 So don't go away. 448 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,009 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 449 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,310 My guests tonight 450 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,012 are legendary singer-songwriter Dolly Parton 451 00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,781 and best-selling author James Patterson. 452 00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:12,350 They're here to discuss the novel that they've cowritten 453 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,319 about the country music industry 454 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:17,322 and the album Dolly wrote to go with it. 455 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:21,059 James Patterson, Dolly Parton, welcome to The Daily Show. 456 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,495 -(chuckles) Thank you. -Well, hello, Trevor. How are you? 457 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:26,064 -(chuckles) -I'm-I'm... I-I could not be in a better place, 458 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,399 because, you realize, I am talking 459 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,802 to two of the most successful people 460 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,238 in the fields that they do anything in. 461 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,773 I mean, James Patterson, 462 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:37,576 you've written books that have gone around the world. 463 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,845 I mean, hundreds of millions of people have consumed them. 464 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,913 Dolly Parton, we're familiar with your music. 465 00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,515 I grew up listening to it with my mom. 466 00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,817 Like, we'd be driving around in our, like, Volkswagen Beetle 467 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,019 singing to your songs with Kenny Rogers, 468 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,254 and I would, like, sing your part. 469 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,422 My mom would do Kenny Rogers. 470 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,523 -It's-it's, um... -Let's hear you 471 00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:52,891 do her part now, Trevor. 472 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,793 -(laughs) -(laughs) I... You can't sing Dolly Parton 473 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,395 to Dolly Parton, James. Don't put me on the spot. 474 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,330 Um, Run, Rose, Run. 475 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,799 It's not dark, but it's thrilling. 476 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,168 I mean, it's-it's a really different side 477 00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,469 to the music industry than I think 478 00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:05,737 what a lot of people would have expected. 479 00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,639 You know, James, I-I maybe would have expected 480 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,274 something like this from you, but, Dolly Parton, 481 00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,076 what made you think, "You know what? I'm gonna... 482 00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:13,412 "I'm gonna show you guys maybe another world in music 483 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,047 that you might not be familiar with"? 484 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,882 And, yes, it's fiction, but at the same time, 485 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,283 it touches on some of the themes 486 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,318 that people have encountered in music. 487 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,554 Well, it does. And I... 488 00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,356 Like I say, I knew all about the business. 489 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,824 And I've never written a novel before. 490 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,993 I've written books, written children's books and that, 491 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,728 so I know what it's like to kind of write. 492 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,163 But I-I had often thought 493 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,398 I'd like to write a novel when I was older. 494 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:36,201 And, so, uh, when James presented me with this, 495 00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,569 I thought, "Yes." 496 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:40,505 Why would James Patterson even be searching me out? 497 00:20:40,605 --> 00:20:42,507 And I thought, "Why?" He don't need me. 498 00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:45,310 Look at what all he's done. But it made complete sense 499 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,813 when he told me what the book was gonna be about, 500 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,015 -and I knew I really could contribute to it. -Because, 501 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,417 you know, I mean, Dolly came out of the hills of Tennessee, 502 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,352 and I came out of sort of a similar situation 503 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,687 in Upstate New York. 504 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:57,823 And the character in the book, also... 505 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,825 I mean, we were both kind of million-to-one shots, 506 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,993 and the character in the book is a million-to-one shot. 507 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,262 -Right. -She's very talented, AnnieLee Keyes, 508 00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:07,265 uh, but that doesn't mean you're gonna make it. 509 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:09,067 -Yeah. -But, also, her story, 510 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,403 everybody has a story when they come to town. 511 00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:12,604 Everybody's got a past, 512 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,073 their childhood and how they grew up. 513 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:18,910 And everybody's story is, uh, is, you know, different. 514 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,512 Everybody's life is a soap opera. 515 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,682 And, so, it's really about her-her story. 516 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,017 She was running to something. She loved the music. 517 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,086 But she was running from something. 518 00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,188 And, so, I knew that I could write great songs 519 00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:32,324 about, uh, all the bad people in town 520 00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,793 like snakes in the grass, about the bad managers 521 00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:36,294 and things, the guys that we... 522 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,996 'Cause I've experienced a lot of that myself, so... 523 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,999 You know, when we met... So, I go back home, 524 00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:42,501 and-and two days later... 525 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:45,537 I had some notes for-for Dolly to react to. 526 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,005 She sent me notes on the outline, 527 00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:49,508 and she... and she sent me the lyrics for seven songs. 528 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,343 -Well, I got right on it. -This is two days. 529 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:53,512 -(laughs) -I had said to him... 530 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,014 I said, "Now, look, if I... I'm not the kind of person 531 00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:57,516 "that if we're gonna work together, 532 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,684 "I'm not gonna just put my name on a book, 533 00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:02,721 -you know, you put my name if I don't really work." -Right. 534 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,557 And I thought, "How am I gonna contribute the most to it?" 535 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,426 And then, one day, I thought, "Well, 536 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,262 "I write songs, and-and I know these stories. 537 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,297 -Yeah. -"And I would love to write a book-- 538 00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:14,633 "I mean, a-an album about these, um, 539 00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:16,802 situations and the characters in the movie." 540 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,770 So it just seemed to fall so natural, 541 00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,439 -and it just really helped us both, I think. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 542 00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,175 -Yeah. -So I-- It was just such a magical thing... 543 00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:26,378 It worked very quickly. It was kind of like a TV show 544 00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,847 where, every week, we would have another episode 545 00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,849 or another two or three chapters 546 00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:32,284 -to-to mess around with. -I love that. 547 00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,586 And I really enjoyed it, 'cause it just seemed to work 548 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:35,887 -so well together. -There was-- I mean, I'll tell you 549 00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,756 what the best thing of all-- We-we really become 550 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,291 -really good friends. -Yeah, we did. 551 00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:41,293 You know, for my birthday, she sang "Happy Birthday" to me 552 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,028 over the telephone. 553 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:44,563 I mean, that's-that's all of it. 554 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,598 -Yeah, well, why wouldn't I? -It was. It was great. 555 00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:48,300 -That's everything. -You're my buddy! 556 00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,634 -And it was your birthday. -The book is-- the book 557 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,503 is already a success in your world just because of that. 558 00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:53,772 Um, actually, James, from your side, 559 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,707 you-you worked with President Bill Clinton, 560 00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,409 writing a book together. Now... 561 00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:59,945 -Yeah. -You-You're a successful author on your own. 562 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,413 I mean, this is what you do. 563 00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,648 You're one of the most beloved authors a-around the world. 564 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,384 But, now, when you're writing with somebody 565 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,120 who has their own point of view, who has their own fan base, 566 00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,021 who has their own style, I'd love to know 567 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,424 how you find a way to meld those two worlds, you know? 568 00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,726 And-and the second part of that question is, 569 00:23:14,826 --> 00:23:16,261 what were the biggest differences 570 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:18,663 between writing with Dolly Parton and Bill Clinton? 571 00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,665 Well, the-the biggest difference between Dolly-- 572 00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:23,935 Dolly's a much better singer and Bill's a better sax player, 573 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:25,537 -I think. Do you play... -(laughs) Oh, that's right. 574 00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:27,439 -Do you play the sax? -He does play sax. No. 575 00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:30,275 -Unless she plays the sax. -Not like Bill Clinton. (chuckles) 576 00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:33,278 Uh, you know, th-they're both great to work with, 577 00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:34,279 and they're both friends. 578 00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:35,580 I mean, it's-it's really-- 579 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,482 That's the most precious thing to me 580 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,384 about both of the relationships. 581 00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:42,187 Um, but the authenticity that Bill-- 582 00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:44,589 the president brought and then the authenticity, 583 00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:48,093 uh, that-that we worked on, in terms of-of Run, Rose, Run, 584 00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:50,295 um, and-and no egos. 585 00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,497 There was never any bumps in the road, ever. 586 00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,999 -Not one. No bumps. -No. 587 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,333 -But I think people are... -That's... 588 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,135 Except that she says I can't sing. I didn't like-- 589 00:23:57,302 --> 00:23:58,437 -That hurt my feelings. -Well, you can't sing, 590 00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,671 -and let's just move on from there. -(laughing) 591 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:02,074 But... (chuckles) I know that for a fact. 592 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,375 But he can write. 593 00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:05,077 But I really think people are enjoying this book 594 00:24:05,243 --> 00:24:08,246 or gonna enjoy it, 'cause I think, like you said earlier, 595 00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,883 they love to see the inside and the stories of these people, 596 00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:14,086 you know, the-- some of the stories behind the scenes 597 00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,421 -and what Nashville is kind of like. -Mm-hmm. 598 00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,157 Kind of gives them an insight into the business end of it, 599 00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:22,661 not just the entertain-entertainment side. 600 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:24,429 You know, James, last we spoke, 601 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,832 we talked about your-your family foundation 602 00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:28,500 and how, you know, you have scholarships 603 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,135 and how you get books out to kids 604 00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:31,636 and to just people who want to read, 605 00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:33,271 and it's-it's really important to you. 606 00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:36,141 Dolly, I didn't know why you got into it. 607 00:24:36,274 --> 00:24:37,642 I've always known you as a philanthropist. 608 00:24:37,743 --> 00:24:40,112 I've always known you as somebody who loves giving back 609 00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:41,913 and, you know, loves getting kids reading 610 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:44,282 and loves donating books, but I didn't know why you got-- 611 00:24:44,349 --> 00:24:46,351 I-Is it true that your father couldn't read 612 00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,487 and so you said, "You know what, not only is this important to me 613 00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:50,155 "but I think it should be important to everybody, 614 00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:52,057 to-to be literate"? 615 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,826 I absolutely started the Imagination Library 616 00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:57,796 because of my father, who I loved to death. 617 00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,731 And he seemed to always be embarrassed 618 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:03,301 and kind of almost crippled, you know, that he couldn't read 619 00:25:03,402 --> 00:25:06,037 and he thought he couldn't read after he was grown. 620 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:07,873 But my daddy was so smart, and so good, 621 00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:10,308 and I just... I... It just... 622 00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:11,777 One day, I just thought, 623 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,111 "You know, I'm going to start something, 624 00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:14,546 "where children can learn to read 625 00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:16,581 when they're in their young days." 626 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,250 -That's when they're most impressionable. -Right. 627 00:25:18,316 --> 00:25:21,553 And I wanted to get my daddy involved with me in it. 628 00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:23,555 So my daddy-- I took him with me. 629 00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,657 He helped with, you know, with all the little things, 630 00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:28,693 and he just loved to hear the kids call me "The Book Lady." 631 00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:30,695 And I'd say, "This is my dad." 632 00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:32,264 Of course I didn't say anything about that, 633 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,132 that he couldn't read and write at the time. 634 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:36,501 But anyhow, I was... He got to live long enough 635 00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:39,171 to see the Imagination Library doing so good, 636 00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:41,440 and he was so proud. And so, I have to honestly say, 637 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:45,077 that's one of the most proud things that I have ever-- 638 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:46,578 I'm proudest of that, I mean-- 639 00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,780 as anything I have ever done in my whole career. 640 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,315 -That is... that is so... yeah. -Because of my daddy 641 00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,417 -and because of the kids. -That is so beautiful. 642 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,419 I mean, I'm sure he's proud of you, I'm sure... 643 00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:56,021 You know, and I'm glad that he got to see it, 644 00:25:56,121 --> 00:25:57,989 -as you say, in-in his lifetime. -Yeah. 645 00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:59,891 People have been eternally grateful 646 00:25:59,991 --> 00:26:02,127 to your organization for this. You know, I remember, as a kid, 647 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,129 you know, one of the biggest things that changed my life 648 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,331 was my mom spent the little money that she had 649 00:26:06,431 --> 00:26:08,633 to get me books, which changed my life forever. 650 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,336 I was actually surprised to see that, um, you know, 651 00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:14,306 in, I think it was a Kentucky state legislator who said, 652 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,308 they don't want some of the books that you were offering 653 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,610 because they didn't think it was appropriate for young kids. 654 00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:21,046 What do you think some people miss in and around, 655 00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:22,881 you know, what kids can or cannot read 656 00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,916 or how we process what we are reading? 657 00:26:25,016 --> 00:26:27,853 Well, I would never in a million years begin 658 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,255 to think that I would choose those books. I don't choose... 659 00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:33,258 We have a whole committee of people that choose the books 660 00:26:33,291 --> 00:26:35,727 that are made up of parents and all different people. 661 00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:38,296 So I would never be so bold as to think 662 00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,932 I knew what other people's kids should read. 663 00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:42,901 But it goes through a whole committee and, uh, 664 00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:44,836 so we do the best we can. 665 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:47,839 And I'll let people, you know, fight that out. 666 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,408 So, I just want to be there for the kids. 667 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,309 I mean, they're little. They're from birth to five. 668 00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:52,644 Yeah, somebody's always gonna be complaining about something. 669 00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:54,079 -Yup. -I mean, how hard can it be? 670 00:26:54,179 --> 00:26:55,947 They're not gonna be reading Gone with the Wind. 671 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:58,283 -You know, and so, anyway... -(Noah laughs) 672 00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:00,018 We'll let people figure that one out. 673 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,953 But we do have other people that choose... 674 00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,822 They choose the books, not me. 675 00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:06,358 Uh, James, are you going to try your hand at songwriting? 676 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,528 Is this bug gonna rub off on your side now? 677 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,997 -No! -You know what? The answer is "no." 678 00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:13,932 But when I was down here at Vanderbilt, 679 00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,367 you can't help yourself. 680 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,802 So I did when I was down here. 681 00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:19,604 I did try to write some songs. It wasn't a good idea. 682 00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,239 What do you think's actually harder, honestly? 683 00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:23,241 Do you think it's harder to write a novel, or do you think 684 00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:24,810 it's harder to write a song, for you, specifically? 685 00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:27,713 Well, for me, no. For me, I can't, no, 686 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:29,147 'cause I can't write country songs 687 00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:30,682 -or any other kinds of songs. -But I bet you could. 688 00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,018 -I mean, you're a writer. -Ah... Yeah, maybe. 689 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:34,553 -I don't think so. -He could. 690 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,655 The novel thing I've kind of have a groove on it now and... 691 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,090 -Yeah, I believe so. -Yeah. 692 00:27:38,256 --> 00:27:39,925 And all kinds of novels, 'cause I do the kids' stuff 693 00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:41,760 and then, nonfiction, and, you know. 694 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,061 So we're, you know... 695 00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:45,263 I know what I can do and what I can't do. 696 00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:46,598 Let's put it that way. 697 00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:49,901 Dolly, on your side, you've said, and you know, 698 00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,570 it's crazy that you have wishes 699 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:52,838 that haven't been fulfilled in life yet. 700 00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:54,840 But I know one of your wishes is you've said 701 00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:58,143 that you wish that Beyoncé would cover "Jolene." 702 00:27:58,276 --> 00:28:00,445 There are over 400 renditions of "Jolene," 703 00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,447 multiple different languages, people have done it, 704 00:28:02,547 --> 00:28:05,217 and you said you specifically want Beyoncé to do that. 705 00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:06,718 Are there any updates? 706 00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:09,421 Is there-- Like, do you know of this happening, you know, 707 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,391 -and-and why Beyoncé? Maybe that's even more important. -No. 708 00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:14,359 I don't know if she's even got the message. 709 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:16,828 But wouldn't that be killer? I think she's fantastic 710 00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:18,764 and beautiful and I love her music. 711 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:21,099 I would just love to hear "Jolene" done 712 00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:23,602 in just a big way, kind of like how Whitney did 713 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,971 my "I Will Always Love You" to someone that can 714 00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:29,074 take my little songs and make 'em like powerhouses, 715 00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,010 so that would be a marvelous day in my life 716 00:28:32,110 --> 00:28:34,146 if she ever does do "Jolene." 717 00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:38,116 Um, Dolly, one last thing. You famously donated 718 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:41,486 a million dollars for, um, the research 719 00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:45,290 that went into helping us get the vaccine for COVID-19. 720 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,260 How is that you've always been on the right side of history? 721 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,661 You know, you've said amazing things 722 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,663 during the civil rights movement, you know, when 723 00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,466 many people were far behind, you said amazing things like, 724 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,468 you know, about equality, about women's rights. 725 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:59,638 You've said amazing things now in and around the vaccines. 726 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,640 Like, what is the magic of Dolly Parton that you're always 727 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,041 -on the right side of history? -Well... 728 00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:06,978 I just love people. I think we're all God's children. 729 00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,181 I make no difference in that. I always try to 730 00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,349 find the God light in everybody, always keep 731 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:15,153 my ear and eye trained on what's going on, and I saw right away 732 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,322 that the pandemic was gonna be awful. 733 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:19,224 I just sensed it. And I thought, 734 00:29:19,324 --> 00:29:23,328 "Well, what can I do, uh, to maybe help a little bit?" 735 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,864 So I donated the money, uh, to the research. 736 00:29:25,964 --> 00:29:27,699 And I'm happy I did. I got a lot more credit 737 00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:30,102 than I deserved, but I am very proud 738 00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:34,005 of whatever affect that I had on that, uh, going on, 739 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,375 because it's still go on. 740 00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:39,311 But I just kind of be aware and want to help when I can. 741 00:29:39,411 --> 00:29:41,646 I think when you get in a position to help, you should. 742 00:29:41,747 --> 00:29:45,417 And the other thing is, um, you know, 743 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,954 Dolly does what Dolly does, but having been around her now 744 00:29:49,054 --> 00:29:51,990 for a year and a half, she is the smartest person I've ever 745 00:29:52,090 --> 00:29:53,058 -dealt with. -Oh, please. (laughter) 746 00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,293 -That a piece of it. -(both laughing) 747 00:29:55,394 --> 00:29:57,396 -Well, -Well, thank you both for the compliments. 748 00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:59,464 James Patterson, Dolly Parton, 749 00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:01,266 thank you for your partnership, and thank you so much for 750 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,468 much for taking the time and joining us on The Daily Show. 751 00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:05,103 -Thank you. This is very nice. -And we just love you. 752 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:06,505 You have a lot of fans, too. 753 00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:08,407 You've just got that God glow and I love it, 754 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:09,975 so keep up what are you doing. 755 00:30:10,075 --> 00:30:11,343 Thank you very much. 756 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:12,577 There are few moments in life that I think my mom would 757 00:30:12,677 --> 00:30:16,181 actually, like, consider as me making it. 758 00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:17,716 Interviewing Dolly Parton is one of them. 759 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,284 -(laughter) - Aw... 760 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:23,021 Like, of all the things in life, that is it. 761 00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:24,623 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back to her and be like, 762 00:30:24,723 --> 00:30:26,024 "Huh? This, now?" And she'll be like, 763 00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:27,626 "Oh, you did one thing. Well done." 764 00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:29,127 (All laughing) 765 00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:30,695 James, really wonderful seeing you again. 766 00:30:30,796 --> 00:30:32,731 Congratulations, it's a fantastic book, well done. 767 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,466 -Thank you. -Thank you so much. That was very precious, honey. 768 00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,168 Thank you so much, Dolly. Great meeting you. 769 00:30:36,301 --> 00:30:37,436 Say hi to your mom for me! 770 00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:39,438 I-I will do! I will do. Definitely. 771 00:30:39,538 --> 00:30:42,307 Personally. Sending it right to her. (laughter) 772 00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:45,310 Okay, I-I'm gonna clip this and send it to her. (laughs) 773 00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:48,313 -All right. -Both the novel and the album 774 00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:50,782 Run Rose Run are available right now. 775 00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:52,017 All right, we're gonna take a quick break, 776 00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:53,785 but we'll be right back after this. 777 00:30:56,387 --> 00:30:57,588 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 778 00:30:57,688 --> 00:31:00,391 please consider supporting Women Giving Back. 779 00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:03,661 Their mission is to support women and children in crisis by 780 00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:07,631 providing quality clothing and diaper assistance at no cost. 781 00:31:07,731 --> 00:31:11,502 Every year, they provide over 10,000 women and children with 782 00:31:11,602 --> 00:31:14,471 these necessities. So, if you can support them in their work, 783 00:31:14,571 --> 00:31:16,740 then please donate at the link below. 784 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,876 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, 785 00:31:18,976 --> 00:31:20,711 get your vaccine, and remember: 786 00:31:20,811 --> 00:31:23,080 nobody should be bullied because of where they're from. 787 00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:26,016 They should be bullied for liking things that you don't. 788 00:31:26,116 --> 00:31:29,053 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 789 00:31:29,153 --> 00:31:31,121 ♪ ♪ 790 00:31:32,389 --> 00:31:33,957 NEWSMAN: Hey, if you think the world has a lot of problems, 791 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:37,061 maybe you can blame this rock in Japan. 792 00:31:37,161 --> 00:31:38,896 -It's called the killing stone. -NEWSWOMAN: Hmm. 793 00:31:38,996 --> 00:31:41,332 NEWSMAN: The rock supposedly contains a demon spirit, 794 00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:43,200 trapped more than 1,000 years ago, 795 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:46,203 -and the rock has actually split in two. -NEWSWOMAN: Hmm. 796 00:31:46,303 --> 00:31:47,404 NEWSWMAN: So now they wonder 797 00:31:47,504 --> 00:31:50,107 if the demon spirit has been released. 798 00:31:50,207 --> 00:31:52,443 Hopefully the demon spirit got a head start 799 00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:54,745 and is long gone. 800 00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:56,647 -But where? -(laughs) 801 00:31:58,115 --> 00:32:00,017 -(demonic laughter) - ♪ ♪