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This is a piece
of interesting news
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that happened today.
So, they found a shipwreck
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from I don't know
how many years...
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00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,175
Hundreds, something years ago.
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00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,410
And it's like... It's like
another one of those stories.
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You know when they go like,
"Oh, they went somewhere"?
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It was actually
a South African ship.
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Props to South African ships.
You know how we do.
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It was a South African ship
that, like, went somewhere
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to find
the ship that was wrecked.
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And I don't really care about
the details of the shipwreck.
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I'll be honest.
'Cause it's like, the ship sank.
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I don't care
about ships that sank.
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I prefer
the ships that didn't sink.
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Um, but this is what gets me,
right,
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is how come you're allowed
to just keep what you find
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in a shipwreck?
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Like, I don't understand
why, like, "law in the sea"
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just is like...
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It's like pirate law,
essentially.
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Everywhere else in the world,
we have laws, you know?
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Like, you can't find a thing
in the desert
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and keep it.
You understand that?
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No one, like, lives... There's,
like, big pieces of the desert,
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but you can't just find shit
there and keep it.
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But in the ocean, you can
just do whatever you want,
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Find a ship, it's yours.
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That's it.
You can't do that anywhere else.
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And they're like, "No,
it's the finders keepers law."
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Maritime law. You find it,
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and then you've got it,
and then...
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You understand how crazy that
would be if we applied that law?
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Imagine if you were at a mall
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00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,735
and then, like, you lost
your car in the parking lot.
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00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,204
And you're like,
"Ah, I lost my car."
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And everyone's like,
"Ah! It's mine now, bitches!"
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That's essentially
what's happening here.
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Just the chaos.
It would be fun, though,
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if we did have those laws
in life.
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Like, the next time
you're at a music fest
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and you're like,
"Oh, I've lost my wife."
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And everyone's like...
(laughs)
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from the heart of Times Square
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in New York City,
the only city in America,
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it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight,
no more matches for Russia,
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00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,767
cancel culture
is out of control,
48
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,737
and Dolly Parton
and James Patterson.
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This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
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Hey! What's going on, everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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We are now entering week three
of the war in Ukraine,
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and there is a lot going on
both in the combat zone
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and around the world.
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So, let's catch up
on all the latest updates
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00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,626
in our ongoing coverage
of the war in Ukraine.
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♪ ♪
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As you probably know,
one of the big stories
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of Vladimir Putin's invasion
of Ukraine
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has been
the surprising resilience
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of the Ukrainian people.
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But what's been
almost more surprising
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is that it turns out
the Russian military
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wasn't as prepared or powerful
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or effective
as everybody thought.
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Yeah.
Their tanks are falling apart,
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00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,887
their trucks are getting stuck
in the mud,
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and the soldiers
don't seem very prepared,
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which is not
what any of us expected.
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You know? Russia struggling
is not what anybody thought.
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It's like,
imagine if in Game of Thrones,
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we waited seven seasons
for the White Walkers,
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and then when they arrived,
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it was just a bunch
of old dudes using walkers.
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You know, I mean,
it still would have been
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a better ending,
but you know what I mean.
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You know,
when you think about it,
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you realize there's a chance
that Russia's nukes
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don't even work, yeah?
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'Cause if you look at the trucks
that get stuck in the mud,
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00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,147
you realize there's a chance
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that their nuclear weapons
don't work.
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Like, they might press
that red button
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00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,051
and the nukes
are just gonna be like...
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00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,119
(coughing)
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(thudding sounds)
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Yeah.
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00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,824
Now, please note,
if I'm wrong about the nukes,
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we're all dead.
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So, whatever you do,
don't act on my intelligence.
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This is just me
brainstorming here.
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The point is that,
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in the two weeks
that this has been going on,
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Russia has only been able
to capture,
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completely capture,
one major Ukrainian city so far.
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But that hardly means
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00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:27,641
that things are going well
for Ukraine.
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Several other cities
are under siege
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00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,578
and facing constant bombardment,
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00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,714
and Russian troops
have taken control
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of one especially strategic
asset.
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NEWSMAN:
Ukraine is raising alarms
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about the situation at the
Chernobyl nuclear power plant,
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the site of the world's
worst nuclear disaster.
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Ukrainian officials say
Russian forces
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disconnected the decommissioned
facility from the power grid
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but called for a ceasefire
in order to restore power.
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Ukraine's foreign minister says
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the plant has
reserve diesel generators
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that can power it for 48 hours,
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00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,139
but, after that,
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the cooling systems for
spent nuclear fuel stored there
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will stop,
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making radiation leaks imminent.
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Ah, come on, Russia!
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Can you not mess around
with a nuclear power plant?!
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It's nuclear power! I mean...
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I want season two of Chernobyl,
yes,
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00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,292
but I also want to be around to
watch season two of Chernobyl.
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Now, thankfully,
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00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:23,463
the International
Atomic Energy Agency says
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00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,700
that there's no danger
of a leak right now.
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00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,335
Which is good news...
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00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,204
right now.
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But, I mean, regardless,
Russia, what are you doing? Huh?
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I mean, we're already dealing
with one meltdown over here.
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The world
doesn't need another one.
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00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,214
And a Chernobyl disaster
is bad news for you.
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Think about it.
I mean, best-case scenario,
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00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,618
best-case scenario, what happens
if you screw this up, huh?
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A lot of Russians get sick.
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00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,921
Worst-case scenario,
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the radiation is gonna create an
army of mutant super Ukrainians.
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00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,927
And, right now, you can't
even beat the regular ones,
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00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,163
so is this a move
you really want to make?
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00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,733
Now, while all of this is
taking place in Eastern Europe,
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00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,169
the West is still trying
to figure out
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00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,171
how involved NATO should get
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00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,841
in helping Ukraine
fight off the Russian invasion.
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00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,343
Because, you see, so far,
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NATO has been sending
a lot of weapons into Ukraine.
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They've been sending
surface-to-air missiles,
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00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,249
antitank missiles,
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00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,950
rocket launchers, guns, ammo,
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00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,520
some LEGOs for the Russians
to step on-- everything.
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00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,522
And these weapons
are all helping.
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00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,524
But what Ukraine really wants,
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00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,192
really, really, really wants,
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00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,361
is some fighter jets,
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00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,631
which, apparently,
is a much trickier request.
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00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,233
The Biden administration
racing to catch up to news
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00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,069
that Poland is offering
to provide used fighter jets,
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00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,072
MiGs, that could ultimately be
delivered to Ukraine.
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00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,241
Multiple sources telling CNN
that report
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00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,777
initially caught U.S. officials
completely off guard.
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00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:48,081
Poland said it would give
Ukraine all of its MiG-29 jets
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but transfer them to an
American air base in Germany,
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but the Pentagon said no,
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00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:57,524
that it's too close to direct
U.S. military involvement
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in the fight against Russia.
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00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,329
Okay, this is... this is weird.
This is really weird.
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Poland has offered Ukraine
fighter jets,
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00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:08,468
but they don't want to give
the jets to Ukraine directly
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00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,438
because then they will be
in a direct war with Russia.
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So instead, they want
to give the jets to America,
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00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,410
and then America hands them
to Ukraine.
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00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,045
But then, America doesn't want
to do that
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because then they are
fighting Russia directly.
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00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,283
So now there's jets,
and there's Ukraine,
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00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,853
but nobody knows how
to bring the two together.
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00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,689
And I'll be honest, I don't know
why this is so complicated.
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00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,957
I mean, you just have
to treat these jets
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like an old couch
that you don't want anymore.
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Yeah, you just leave it
on the sidewalk,
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and then, if Ukraine happens
to walk by and find a jet,
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I mean, what's Poland got
to do with it, eh?
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00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,369
Also, I don't know
if it's just me.
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I don't know if it's just me,
but it's weird
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00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,374
that they're going through
all these mental gymnastics here
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because even if Poland
finds some sneaky way
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00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,746
to get these planes to Ukraine,
isn't Russia going to know
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00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:56,083
where the planes came from?
You told us on the news!
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00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,584
(Russian accent):
Comrade, did you notice
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Poland offered Ukraine jets?
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00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:03,023
Now Ukraine has Polish jets.
How did that happen?
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00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,525
(Russian accent):
Yeah, probably same way
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00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,727
toast always lands
butter side down, huh?
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00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,062
Life is crazy.
We'll never know.
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00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,632
And this has been a tricky
situation since the war started.
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How involved can NATO get
without Russia turning on them?
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00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:21,441
And I'll be honest. I get it.
It is hard to figure out.
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You know, this is like
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00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,278
the ultimate conundrum
of life sometimes.
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00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:27,948
Like, the other day,
I saw a mugging on the subway.
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00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,317
And I'm not going
to jump in to stop it
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00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,187
because now,
that person is stabbing me.
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00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,056
So instead, I said,
"Hey, don't do that!"
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00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,792
And then, I immediately jumped
off the train, and I ran away.
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Which I think struck
the right balance, you know?
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00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:44,164
Now, while the war-war rages on,
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00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,935
the West's economic war against
Russia is ramping up, too.
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00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,737
Just yesterday, President Biden
banned all Russian oil
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00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,406
from entering America.
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00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,474
But that's created
its own problems
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00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:57,110
because Americans
still need gasoline
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00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,713
to drive cars
and to heat offices
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00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,316
and to set their homes on fire
for the insurance money.
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00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,852
So, President Biden is going
around the world
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00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,020
asking other countries
to pump more gas
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00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,856
to replace Russia's, right?
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00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,724
Unfortunately,
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00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,160
some of the country's
that could help America
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00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,330
apparently
won't pick up the phone.
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00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,332
As Americans watch
gas prices rise,
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00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:21,034
the Biden administration is now
looking at importing oil
216
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,537
from hostile countries,
but it's not going so well.
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00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,906
The Wall Street Journal
reports President Biden tried
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00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,574
to call the leaders
of Saudi Arabia
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00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,109
and the United Arab Emirates,
220
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,644
but they would not
take his call.
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00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,546
NEWSWOMAN 2: Officials
from both countries are upset
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00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,047
over American policy
in the Gulf.
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00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,817
Specifically,
the Saudis want legal immunity
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00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,520
for Prince Mohammed bin Salman
in the U.S.
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00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,055
He's facing several lawsuits
over the killing
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00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,358
of journalist Jamal Khashoggi
back in 2018.
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00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:48,061
Saudi Arabia and the UAE
also want more backing
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00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,765
from the U.S. in Yemen
to quell the civil war there.
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00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,268
And both are also
reportedly not happy
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00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,403
with the revival
of the Iranian nuclear deal.
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00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,772
You have got to be kidding me.
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00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,476
Apparently, Saudi Arabia
won't even pick up the phone
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00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,445
for the president
of the United States.
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00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,281
I mean, look, I know it's hard
to arrange those calls.
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00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,016
You know,
Riyadh is eight hours ahead.
236
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,384
Biden is asleep by 4:00 p.m.
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00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,486
It's a narrow window
to make it work, but still.
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00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,121
That must have been
really embarrassing for Biden.
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00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,355
Can you imagine?
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00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,191
He phones them,
and they don't pick up.
241
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,059
He probably had to do that thing
where you pretend
242
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,627
that the other person
did pick up.
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00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,531
-(dial tone sounding) -(laughs)
Yes. MBS. (laughs) My man.
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00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,067
(laughs) Yeah, Ukraine.
That is why I'm calling.
245
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,569
You got me, baby.
You got... Yeah.
246
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,204
Oh, I have been working out,
yeah.
247
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:33,073
This guy loves me.
He loves me. (chuckles)
248
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,842
Yeah, yeah, okay,
I'll call you back.
249
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,176
All right, love you, too.
250
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,611
You know what
the White House needs to do?
251
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,246
You know what they should do
for this situation?
252
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,349
They need to redirect the call
that instead of Washington D.C.,
253
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,252
it looks like the call
is coming from Ohio. Yeah.
254
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,689
Because then, the Saudis'
curiosity is going to get them.
255
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,224
Phone's gonna ring.
They're gonna be like,
256
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:52,125
"Ah, who's calling from Ohio?
257
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,694
Do we know anybody from Ohio?"
258
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,262
And somebody's gonna be like,
"Don't answer, don't answer."
259
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,431
"Ah, but what if it's LeBron?
I have to answer.
260
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,399
"Hello. Ah, Joe Biden!
261
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,134
"Damn it, you were right.
Ah, shit!
262
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:02,903
Yes. Yes." (laughs)
263
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,471
"I was hoping you would call."
264
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,106
Now, according
to the White House,
265
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,709
according to the White House,
this story is totally untrue.
266
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,278
They deny it.
Which I would, too.
267
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,947
But either way, man,
there is no denying
268
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,817
that Saudi Arabia isn't
playing ball with Joe Biden.
269
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,785
And you know what,
you can say what you want,
270
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,588
but this would have
never happened
271
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:25,158
to Donald Trump.
Never.
272
00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:28,362
No one was ever ignoring
Donald Trump's calls.
273
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,731
Yeah, 'cause if you
ignored Donald Trump's calls,
274
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,599
you didn't know
how he would respond.
275
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,935
Maybe he'd send an angry tweet,
276
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,171
or maybe he'd just, like, ban
your country from everything.
277
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:38,572
You don't know.
278
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,107
That's why I bet
in these situations,
279
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,043
Biden actually wishes that
he could hire Trump to step in
280
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,912
as President Wild Card.
You know?
281
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,780
Just keep everyone
on their toes.
282
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,782
'Cause if Trump was calling,
you best believe the UAE--
283
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,350
they'll be racing
to pick up the phone,
284
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,120
Ah, Mr. Trump! Mr. Trump,
we're here, we're here, hello?
285
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,023
Too late, Ahmed,
you made me wait two rings.
286
00:10:56,123 --> 00:11:00,527
we're bombing the UAE
and the UFC, just in case.
287
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,796
Now, while Biden and NATO
are trying to figure out
288
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,466
how to get Russia back in line,
people all over the world
289
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,736
are trying to do their part to
stand up to the Russian regime.
290
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,406
The only downside
is that some people
291
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,843
don't quite seem
to understand the assignment.
292
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,245
NEWSMAN: Backlash to the
Russian invasion of Ukraine
293
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,849
is leading to some misguided
hostility in the U.S.
294
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,852
Congressman, uh, Eric Swalwell,
who says that
295
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,387
the consideration of
kicking every Russian student
296
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,523
out of the U.S.
should be on the table.
297
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,826
NEWSMAN 2: A young Russian
pianist who is set to perform
298
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,729
with the Montreal Symphony
Orchestra this week
299
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:39,099
has been struck from
the schedule after protests.
300
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,534
NEWSMAN 3: The Cardiff
Philharmonic Orchestra have
301
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:44,137
removed the Russian composer
Tchaikovsky from its program
302
00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:45,873
of up-and-coming concerts
303
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,408
due to the current conflict
in Ukraine.
304
00:11:48,509 --> 00:11:50,410
NEWSWOMAN: A popular
Russian restaurant in D.C.
305
00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:52,012
is now vandalized.
306
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,414
D.C. police say several people
broke windows
307
00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:56,683
and spray-painted
anti-Russian writing
308
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:59,620
on the Russia House Restaurant.
309
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,455
NEWSMAN 4: New York's
Russian Samovar restaurant
310
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,691
says they've lost
60% of their customers.
311
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,693
The co-owner is half Ukrainian.
312
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,662
NEWSWOMAN 2: He said their sign
has been kicked down
313
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,431
and people have been leaving
one-star reviews online,
314
00:12:11,532 --> 00:12:13,901
saying things like
"stop the war."
315
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,537
Just because you're
"Russian establishment"
316
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,839
does not mean you cut a check
to Putin or his regime.
317
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,075
Aw, man.
Really, people? Really?
318
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,877
You know, the only thing
worse than not getting help
319
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,079
is getting help from idiots.
320
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,615
People, just because
something is Russian
321
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,352
doesn't mean it's
automatically bad. All right?
322
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,922
Like, like Russian dressing,
for examp--
323
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,224
Okay, that-that is bad.
That's actually bad.
324
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:38,792
Yeah, that tastes like
ketchup died
325
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,228
inside a bottle of mayonnaise,
but you get what I'm saying.
326
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,263
Not all Russian things
are bad because of
327
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,432
what's happening in Russia.
Do you understand?
328
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,402
You're not trying to be
against the Russian people,
329
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:51,438
you're trying to be against
the Russian government,
330
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,107
to stop them from what
they're doing in Ukraine.
331
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,510
You understand that you can
be anti-Russia
332
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,513
and pro-Russian?
All right?
333
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,548
It the same way you can question
the Chinese government's
334
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,183
handling of coronavirus
without
335
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,185
punching Asian grandmothers
in the street.
336
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,553
Do you understand this?
337
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,689
Americans, of all people,
should understand this.
338
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,592
Yeah. You know, sometimes people
want to be separated from
339
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,894
the actions of their government.
Yeah, we've seen you Americans
340
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,562
traveling around the world
with your Canadian flag
341
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,131
sewn on your backpacks.
And you know we can't tell
342
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,766
the difference
between your accents.
343
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,235
By the way, you might think
it's a good idea
344
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,137
to ban Tchaikovsky now,
but wait until Christmas comes
345
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,772
and you're trying
to get your Nutcracker on.
346
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,774
Then come talk to me.
347
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,776
But, look, idiots
taking their anger out
348
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,079
on Russian restaurants
in New York-- that's one thing.
349
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,248
There is another backlash
that's going on
350
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,984
with corporations
which does make sense.
351
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,753
Every day, more and more
corporations are deciding
352
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,289
they don't want to be a part
of the Russian economy
353
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,224
that is funding this war.
Right?
354
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,094
As we told you yesterday,
McDonald's, Starbucks,
355
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,096
and now Coca-Cola
have announced
356
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,733
that they're suspending
business in Russia. Yes.
357
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,735
Which means the Russian people
are gonna be forced
358
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,937
to develop diabetes
on their own now.
359
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:58,238
Yeah. And today--
360
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,909
today, another big name
is calling it quits.
361
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,845
ANCHOR: Bumble also announced it
will be discontinuing operations
362
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,847
in Russia, removing
all of its apps from the
363
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:10,117
Apple App Store and Google Play
Store in Russia and Belarus,
364
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,085
and it's just the
latest company to do so.
365
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,554
Wow.
366
00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:16,557
No more Bumble in Russia.
367
00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:18,225
That's harsh.
368
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,894
Yeah, you need dating apps
in a country where
369
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,663
the cuffing season
is ten months long.
370
00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:24,598
You seen their winters?
371
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,832
And I know you might be saying,
372
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,768
"Oh, Trevor, meeting women
in Russia is easy.
373
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,103
All you have to do is look
inside a slightly larger woman."
374
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,072
But that's not how it works!
Don't be stupid.
375
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,075
This is yet another hit
to the Russian people
376
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,744
because of what Putin has done.
And, you know,
377
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:41,215
when you think about it, because
Russian people only get
378
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:45,352
Russian news, they probably have
no idea why all these companies
379
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,154
are closing, none.
380
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,357
Think about it. Every day,
something else just disappears
381
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,694
from their life. Mcdonald's,
gone. Starbucks, gone.
382
00:14:53,794 --> 00:14:57,631
Coca-Cola, gone.
You don't know why.
383
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,733
Can you imagine how
confusing that must be?
384
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,468
Yeah, there's probably Russians
just walking around like,
385
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,805
"Huh, I guess I was the
only person drinking Coke?"
386
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:08,275
Now, as always, where the
western companies move out,
387
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:12,579
the Russian government
steps in. And luckily,
388
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,349
for all the Russians looking
to meet horny singles in their
389
00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:19,186
area, there's another app
that's coming out.
390
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,289
(Russian Accent) Comrades,
are you upset that Bumble has
391
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,758
abandoned Mother Russia,
like coward?
392
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,494
Well, do not worry,
or we put you in jail.
393
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:31,665
you do not need Bumble, because
Russia has new dating app,
394
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:36,069
Putin' Out. Now you can meet
single Russians who match your
395
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:41,108
interests, like loving Putin
or willing to die for Putin
396
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,843
or feet.
397
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,211
Or just swipe right
on fellow Russians,
398
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,347
then use chat feature
to learn more about them.
399
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,751
Maybe you fall in love, or
maybe you report them to police.
400
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,653
Either way, is win.
401
00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:56,290
After matching on Putin' Out,
you will enjoy all kinds of
402
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,593
fun dating adventures
like storming Odessa Beaches
403
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:03,630
or cleaning normal glowing
rocks in Chernobyl, so fun.
404
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,266
So sign up today for Putin' Out.
405
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,502
Does not matter
if you already married.
406
00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:10,804
Is mandatory.
407
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:12,172
(regular accent):
All right, when we come back,
408
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,541
New Yorkers
are getting cancelled
409
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,110
and Dolly Parton and James
Patterson
410
00:16:17,211 --> 00:16:20,047
are joining me are on the show.
You don't want to miss it.
411
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,714
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
412
00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:24,016
You know, these days,
a lot of people
413
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,784
are worried
about cancel culture.
414
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:28,754
"Oh, what if a camera catches me
saying the wrong thing
415
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,690
at the wrong time
and my life is over?"
416
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,091
But the truth is
that doesn't happen.
417
00:16:33,191 --> 00:16:34,793
There's no camera
that's roaming the streets
418
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,462
trying to cancel people.
419
00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:40,332
So, we thought, "Wouldn't it
be great if that was a thing?
420
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:43,068
What if there was a camera
that was doing just that?"
421
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,538
And that's why
we have Cancel Cam.
422
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,673
♪ ♪
423
00:16:58,717 --> 00:16:59,918
Yes.
424
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,820
MAN: Um,
I have a quick question for you.
425
00:17:14,332 --> 00:17:17,202
♪ ♪
426
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,337
MAN:
Excuse me. Um...
427
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,481
I have a question for you. Uh...
428
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:34,853
-Sorry, northern...?
-Northern Canada?
429
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:36,455
You're talking about Canada?
430
00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:40,025
♪ ♪
431
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:45,397
MAN:
Excuse me. Excuse me.
432
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:46,865
-Hey.
-MAN: Uh...
433
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,803
Um...
434
00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:54,606
I don't know. What do you mean
by "left-handed people"?
435
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,913
Oh, my gosh. I don't know.
436
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,648
(laughing)
437
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:10,222
♪ ♪
438
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,991
Excuse me. Uh...
439
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,728
Elmo? Like from Sesame Street?
440
00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:28,573
Excuse me! Uh...
441
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,587
I'm sorry.
Uh, do you speak English?
442
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,590
-Yeah, but that was
a hard question. -(chuckles)
443
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,294
♪ ♪
444
00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:54,299
All right, when we come back,
445
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,068
the amazing Dolly Parton
446
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:59,071
and novelist James Patterson
will be joining me on the show.
447
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:00,439
So don't go away.
448
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,009
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
449
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,310
My guests tonight
450
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,012
are legendary singer-songwriter
Dolly Parton
451
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,781
and best-selling author
James Patterson.
452
00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:12,350
They're here to discuss
the novel that they've cowritten
453
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,319
about the country music industry
454
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:17,322
and the album Dolly wrote
to go with it.
455
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:21,059
James Patterson, Dolly Parton,
welcome to The Daily Show.
456
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,495
-(chuckles) Thank you. -Well,
hello, Trevor. How are you?
457
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:26,064
-(chuckles) -I'm-I'm... I-I
could not be in a better place,
458
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,399
because, you realize,
I am talking
459
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,802
to two
of the most successful people
460
00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,238
in the fields
that they do anything in.
461
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,773
I mean, James Patterson,
462
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:37,576
you've written books
that have gone around the world.
463
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,845
I mean, hundreds of millions
of people have consumed them.
464
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,913
Dolly Parton,
we're familiar with your music.
465
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,515
I grew up listening to it
with my mom.
466
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,817
Like, we'd be driving around
in our, like, Volkswagen Beetle
467
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,019
singing to your songs
with Kenny Rogers,
468
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,254
and I would, like,
sing your part.
469
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,422
My mom would do Kenny Rogers.
470
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,523
-It's-it's, um...
-Let's hear you
471
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:52,891
do her part now, Trevor.
472
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,793
-(laughs) -(laughs) I...
You can't sing Dolly Parton
473
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,395
to Dolly Parton, James.
Don't put me on the spot.
474
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,330
Um, Run, Rose, Run.
475
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,799
It's not dark,
but it's thrilling.
476
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,168
I mean, it's-it's
a really different side
477
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,469
to the music industry
than I think
478
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:05,737
what a lot of people
would have expected.
479
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,639
You know, James,
I-I maybe would have expected
480
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,274
something like this from you,
but, Dolly Parton,
481
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,076
what made you think,
"You know what? I'm gonna...
482
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:13,412
"I'm gonna show you guys
maybe another world in music
483
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,047
that you might not
be familiar with"?
484
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,882
And, yes, it's fiction,
but at the same time,
485
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,283
it touches on some of the themes
486
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,318
that people have encountered
in music.
487
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,554
Well, it does. And I...
488
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,356
Like I say,
I knew all about the business.
489
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,824
And I've never written
a novel before.
490
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,993
I've written books, written
children's books and that,
491
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,728
so I know what it's like
to kind of write.
492
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,163
But I-I had often thought
493
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,398
I'd like to write a novel
when I was older.
494
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:36,201
And, so, uh, when James
presented me with this,
495
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,569
I thought, "Yes."
496
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:40,505
Why would James Patterson
even be searching me out?
497
00:20:40,605 --> 00:20:42,507
And I thought, "Why?"
He don't need me.
498
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:45,310
Look at what all he's done.
But it made complete sense
499
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,813
when he told me what the book
was gonna be about,
500
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,015
-and I knew I really could
contribute to it. -Because,
501
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,417
you know, I mean, Dolly came
out of the hills of Tennessee,
502
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,352
and I came out
of sort of a similar situation
503
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,687
in Upstate New York.
504
00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:57,823
And the character in the book,
also...
505
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,825
I mean, we were both
kind of million-to-one shots,
506
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,993
and the character in the book
is a million-to-one shot.
507
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,262
-Right. -She's very talented,
AnnieLee Keyes,
508
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:07,265
uh, but that doesn't mean
you're gonna make it.
509
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:09,067
-Yeah.
-But, also, her story,
510
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,403
everybody has a story
when they come to town.
511
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:12,604
Everybody's got a past,
512
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,073
their childhood
and how they grew up.
513
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:18,910
And everybody's story is, uh,
is, you know, different.
514
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,512
Everybody's life
is a soap opera.
515
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,682
And, so,
it's really about her-her story.
516
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,017
She was running to something.
She loved the music.
517
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,086
But she was running
from something.
518
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,188
And, so, I knew
that I could write great songs
519
00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:32,324
about, uh,
all the bad people in town
520
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,793
like snakes in the grass,
about the bad managers
521
00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:36,294
and things, the guys that we...
522
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,996
'Cause I've experienced
a lot of that myself, so...
523
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,999
You know, when we met...
So, I go back home,
524
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:42,501
and-and two days later...
525
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:45,537
I had some notes
for-for Dolly to react to.
526
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,005
She sent me notes
on the outline,
527
00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:49,508
and she... and she sent me
the lyrics for seven songs.
528
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,343
-Well, I got right on it.
-This is two days.
529
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:53,512
-(laughs)
-I had said to him...
530
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,014
I said, "Now, look, if I...
I'm not the kind of person
531
00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:57,516
"that if we're gonna
work together,
532
00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,684
"I'm not gonna
just put my name on a book,
533
00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:02,721
-you know, you put my name
if I don't really work." -Right.
534
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,557
And I thought, "How am I gonna
contribute the most to it?"
535
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,426
And then, one day,
I thought, "Well,
536
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,262
"I write songs, and-and I know
these stories.
537
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,297
-Yeah. -"And I would love
to write a book--
538
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:14,633
"I mean, a-an album
about these, um,
539
00:22:14,733 --> 00:22:16,802
situations and the characters
in the movie."
540
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,770
So it just seemed
to fall so natural,
541
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,439
-and it just really helped us
both, I think. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
542
00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,175
-Yeah. -So I-- It was
just such a magical thing...
543
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:26,378
It worked very quickly.
It was kind of like a TV show
544
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,847
where, every week,
we would have another episode
545
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,849
or another two or three chapters
546
00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:32,284
-to-to mess around with.
-I love that.
547
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,586
And I really enjoyed it,
'cause it just seemed to work
548
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:35,887
-so well together. -There was--
I mean, I'll tell you
549
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,756
what the best thing of all--
We-we really become
550
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,291
-really good friends.
-Yeah, we did.
551
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:41,293
You know, for my birthday,
she sang "Happy Birthday" to me
552
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,028
over the telephone.
553
00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:44,563
I mean, that's-that's all of it.
554
00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,598
-Yeah, well, why wouldn't I?
-It was. It was great.
555
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:48,300
-That's everything.
-You're my buddy!
556
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,634
-And it was your birthday.
-The book is-- the book
557
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,503
is already a success in
your world just because of that.
558
00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:53,772
Um, actually, James,
from your side,
559
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,707
you-you worked
with President Bill Clinton,
560
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,409
writing a book together. Now...
561
00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:59,945
-Yeah. -You-You're
a successful author on your own.
562
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,413
I mean, this is what you do.
563
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,648
You're one of the most beloved
authors a-around the world.
564
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,384
But, now, when you're writing
with somebody
565
00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,120
who has their own point of view,
who has their own fan base,
566
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,021
who has their own style,
I'd love to know
567
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,424
how you find a way to meld
those two worlds, you know?
568
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,726
And-and the second part
of that question is,
569
00:23:14,826 --> 00:23:16,261
what were
the biggest differences
570
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:18,663
between writing with
Dolly Parton and Bill Clinton?
571
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,665
Well, the-the biggest difference
between Dolly--
572
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:23,935
Dolly's a much better singer
and Bill's a better sax player,
573
00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:25,537
-I think. Do you play...
-(laughs) Oh, that's right.
574
00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:27,439
-Do you play the sax?
-He does play sax. No.
575
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:30,275
-Unless she plays the sax. -Not
like Bill Clinton. (chuckles)
576
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:33,278
Uh, you know, th-they're
both great to work with,
577
00:23:33,311 --> 00:23:34,279
and they're both friends.
578
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:35,580
I mean, it's-it's really--
579
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,482
That's the most precious thing
to me
580
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,384
about both of the relationships.
581
00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:42,187
Um, but the authenticity
that Bill--
582
00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:44,589
the president brought
and then the authenticity,
583
00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:48,093
uh, that-that we worked on,
in terms of-of Run, Rose, Run,
584
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:50,295
um, and-and no egos.
585
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,497
There was never any bumps
in the road, ever.
586
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,999
-Not one. No bumps.
-No.
587
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,333
-But I think people are...
-That's...
588
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,135
Except that she says
I can't sing. I didn't like--
589
00:23:57,302 --> 00:23:58,437
-That hurt my feelings.
-Well, you can't sing,
590
00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,671
-and let's just move on
from there. -(laughing)
591
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:02,074
But... (chuckles)
I know that for a fact.
592
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,375
But he can write.
593
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:05,077
But I really think
people are enjoying this book
594
00:24:05,243 --> 00:24:08,246
or gonna enjoy it, 'cause
I think, like you said earlier,
595
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,883
they love to see the inside
and the stories of these people,
596
00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:14,086
you know, the-- some
of the stories behind the scenes
597
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,421
-and what Nashville
is kind of like. -Mm-hmm.
598
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,157
Kind of gives them an insight
into the business end of it,
599
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:22,661
not just the
entertain-entertainment side.
600
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:24,429
You know, James, last we spoke,
601
00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,832
we talked about
your-your family foundation
602
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:28,500
and how, you know,
you have scholarships
603
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,135
and how you get books out
to kids
604
00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:31,636
and to just people
who want to read,
605
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:33,271
and it's-it's
really important to you.
606
00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:36,141
Dolly, I didn't know
why you got into it.
607
00:24:36,274 --> 00:24:37,642
I've always known you
as a philanthropist.
608
00:24:37,743 --> 00:24:40,112
I've always known you as
somebody who loves giving back
609
00:24:40,278 --> 00:24:41,913
and, you know,
loves getting kids reading
610
00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:44,282
and loves donating books,
but I didn't know why you got--
611
00:24:44,349 --> 00:24:46,351
I-Is it true that your father
couldn't read
612
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,487
and so you said, "You know what,
not only is this important to me
613
00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:50,155
"but I think it should be
important to everybody,
614
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:52,057
to-to be literate"?
615
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,826
I absolutely started
the Imagination Library
616
00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:57,796
because of my father,
who I loved to death.
617
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,731
And he seemed
to always be embarrassed
618
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:03,301
and kind of almost crippled,
you know, that he couldn't read
619
00:25:03,402 --> 00:25:06,037
and he thought he couldn't read
after he was grown.
620
00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:07,873
But my daddy was so smart,
and so good,
621
00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:10,308
and I just... I... It just...
622
00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:11,777
One day, I just thought,
623
00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,111
"You know, I'm going
to start something,
624
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:14,546
"where children can learn
to read
625
00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:16,581
when they're
in their young days."
626
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,250
-That's when they're most
impressionable. -Right.
627
00:25:18,316 --> 00:25:21,553
And I wanted to get my daddy
involved with me in it.
628
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:23,555
So my daddy--
I took him with me.
629
00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,657
He helped with, you know,
with all the little things,
630
00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:28,693
and he just loved to hear the
kids call me "The Book Lady."
631
00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:30,695
And I'd say, "This is my dad."
632
00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:32,264
Of course I didn't say anything
about that,
633
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,132
that he couldn't read
and write at the time.
634
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:36,501
But anyhow, I was...
He got to live long enough
635
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:39,171
to see the Imagination Library
doing so good,
636
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:41,440
and he was so proud.
And so, I have to honestly say,
637
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:45,077
that's one of the most proud
things that I have ever--
638
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:46,578
I'm proudest of that, I mean--
639
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,780
as anything I have ever done
in my whole career.
640
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,315
-That is... that is so... yeah.
-Because of my daddy
641
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,417
-and because of the kids.
-That is so beautiful.
642
00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,419
I mean, I'm sure
he's proud of you, I'm sure...
643
00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:56,021
You know, and I'm glad
that he got to see it,
644
00:25:56,121 --> 00:25:57,989
-as you say,
in-in his lifetime. -Yeah.
645
00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:59,891
People have been
eternally grateful
646
00:25:59,991 --> 00:26:02,127
to your organization for this.
You know, I remember, as a kid,
647
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,129
you know, one of the biggest
things that changed my life
648
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,331
was my mom spent
the little money that she had
649
00:26:06,431 --> 00:26:08,633
to get me books,
which changed my life forever.
650
00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,336
I was actually surprised
to see that, um, you know,
651
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:14,306
in, I think it was a Kentucky
state legislator who said,
652
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,308
they don't want some of
the books that you were offering
653
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,610
because they didn't think it was
appropriate for young kids.
654
00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:21,046
What do you think some people
miss in and around,
655
00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:22,881
you know, what kids can
or cannot read
656
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,916
or how we process
what we are reading?
657
00:26:25,016 --> 00:26:27,853
Well, I would never
in a million years begin
658
00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,255
to think that I would choose
those books. I don't choose...
659
00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:33,258
We have a whole committee
of people that choose the books
660
00:26:33,291 --> 00:26:35,727
that are made up of parents
and all different people.
661
00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:38,296
So I would never be so bold
as to think
662
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,932
I knew what other people's kids
should read.
663
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:42,901
But it goes through
a whole committee and, uh,
664
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:44,836
so we do the best we can.
665
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:47,839
And I'll let people,
you know, fight that out.
666
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,408
So, I just want
to be there for the kids.
667
00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:51,309
I mean, they're little.
They're from birth to five.
668
00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:52,644
Yeah, somebody's always gonna be
complaining about something.
669
00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:54,079
-Yup.
-I mean, how hard can it be?
670
00:26:54,179 --> 00:26:55,947
They're not gonna be reading
Gone with the Wind.
671
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:58,283
-You know, and so, anyway...
-(Noah laughs)
672
00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:00,018
We'll let people
figure that one out.
673
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,953
But we do have other people
that choose...
674
00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,822
They choose the books, not me.
675
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:06,358
Uh, James, are you going to try
your hand at songwriting?
676
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,528
Is this bug gonna rub off
on your side now?
677
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,997
-No! -You know what?
The answer is "no."
678
00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:13,932
But when I was down here
at Vanderbilt,
679
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,367
you can't help yourself.
680
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,802
So I did when I was down here.
681
00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:19,604
I did try to write some songs.
It wasn't a good idea.
682
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,239
What do you think's
actually harder, honestly?
683
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:23,241
Do you think it's harder to
write a novel, or do you think
684
00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:24,810
it's harder to write a song,
for you, specifically?
685
00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:27,713
Well, for me, no.
For me, I can't, no,
686
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:29,147
'cause I can't write
country songs
687
00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:30,682
-or any other kinds of songs.
-But I bet you could.
688
00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,018
-I mean, you're a writer.
-Ah... Yeah, maybe.
689
00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:34,553
-I don't think so.
-He could.
690
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,655
The novel thing I've kind of
have a groove on it now and...
691
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,090
-Yeah, I believe so.
-Yeah.
692
00:27:38,256 --> 00:27:39,925
And all kinds of novels,
'cause I do the kids' stuff
693
00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:41,760
and then, nonfiction,
and, you know.
694
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,061
So we're, you know...
695
00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:45,263
I know what I can do
and what I can't do.
696
00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:46,598
Let's put it that way.
697
00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:49,901
Dolly, on your side,
you've said, and you know,
698
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,570
it's crazy that you have wishes
699
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:52,838
that haven't been fulfilled
in life yet.
700
00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:54,840
But I know one of your wishes is
you've said
701
00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:58,143
that you wish that Beyoncé would
cover "Jolene."
702
00:27:58,276 --> 00:28:00,445
There are over 400 renditions
of "Jolene,"
703
00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,447
multiple different languages,
people have done it,
704
00:28:02,547 --> 00:28:05,217
and you said you specifically
want Beyoncé to do that.
705
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:06,718
Are there any updates?
706
00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:09,421
Is there-- Like, do you know
of this happening, you know,
707
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,391
-and-and why Beyoncé? Maybe
that's even more important. -No.
708
00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:14,359
I don't know if she's even
got the message.
709
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:16,828
But wouldn't that be killer?
I think she's fantastic
710
00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:18,764
and beautiful
and I love her music.
711
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:21,099
I would just love
to hear "Jolene" done
712
00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:23,602
in just a big way,
kind of like how Whitney did
713
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,971
my "I Will Always Love You"
to someone that can
714
00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:29,074
take my little songs
and make 'em like powerhouses,
715
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,010
so that would be
a marvelous day in my life
716
00:28:32,110 --> 00:28:34,146
if she ever does do "Jolene."
717
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:38,116
Um, Dolly, one last thing.
You famously donated
718
00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:41,486
a million dollars
for, um, the research
719
00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:45,290
that went into helping us
get the vaccine for COVID-19.
720
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,260
How is that you've always been
on the right side of history?
721
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,661
You know, you've said
amazing things
722
00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,663
during the civil rights
movement, you know, when
723
00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,466
many people were far behind,
you said amazing things like,
724
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,468
you know, about equality,
about women's rights.
725
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:59,638
You've said amazing things now
in and around the vaccines.
726
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,640
Like, what is the magic of
Dolly Parton that you're always
727
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,041
-on the right side of history?
-Well...
728
00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:06,978
I just love people. I think
we're all God's children.
729
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,181
I make no difference in that.
I always try to
730
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,349
find the God light
in everybody, always keep
731
00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:15,153
my ear and eye trained on what's
going on, and I saw right away
732
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,322
that the pandemic
was gonna be awful.
733
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:19,224
I just sensed it.
And I thought,
734
00:29:19,324 --> 00:29:23,328
"Well, what can I do, uh,
to maybe help a little bit?"
735
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,864
So I donated the money,
uh, to the research.
736
00:29:25,964 --> 00:29:27,699
And I'm happy I did.
I got a lot more credit
737
00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:30,102
than I deserved,
but I am very proud
738
00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:34,005
of whatever affect that I
had on that, uh, going on,
739
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,375
because it's still go on.
740
00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:39,311
But I just kind of be aware
and want to help when I can.
741
00:29:39,411 --> 00:29:41,646
I think when you get in a
position to help, you should.
742
00:29:41,747 --> 00:29:45,417
And the other thing
is, um, you know,
743
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,954
Dolly does what Dolly does,
but having been around her now
744
00:29:49,054 --> 00:29:51,990
for a year and a half, she is
the smartest person I've ever
745
00:29:52,090 --> 00:29:53,058
-dealt with.
-Oh, please. (laughter)
746
00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,293
-That a piece of it.
-(both laughing)
747
00:29:55,394 --> 00:29:57,396
-Well, -Well, thank you
both for the compliments.
748
00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:59,464
James Patterson,
Dolly Parton,
749
00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:01,266
thank you for your partnership,
and thank you so much for
750
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,468
much for taking the time and
joining us on The Daily Show.
751
00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:05,103
-Thank you. This is very nice.
-And we just love you.
752
00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:06,505
You have a lot of fans, too.
753
00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:08,407
You've just got that God
glow and I love it,
754
00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:09,975
so keep up what are you doing.
755
00:30:10,075 --> 00:30:11,343
Thank you very much.
756
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:12,577
There are few moments in life
that I think my mom would
757
00:30:12,677 --> 00:30:16,181
actually, like, consider
as me making it.
758
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:17,716
Interviewing Dolly
Parton is one of them.
759
00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,284
-(laughter)
- Aw...
760
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:23,021
Like, of all the things
in life, that is it.
761
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:24,623
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back
to her and be like,
762
00:30:24,723 --> 00:30:26,024
"Huh? This, now?"
And she'll be like,
763
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:27,626
"Oh, you did
one thing. Well done."
764
00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:29,127
(All laughing)
765
00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:30,695
James, really
wonderful seeing you again.
766
00:30:30,796 --> 00:30:32,731
Congratulations, it's a
fantastic book, well done.
767
00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,466
-Thank you. -Thank you so much.
That was very precious, honey.
768
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,168
Thank you so much, Dolly.
Great meeting you.
769
00:30:36,301 --> 00:30:37,436
Say hi to your mom for me!
770
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:39,438
I-I will do! I
will do. Definitely.
771
00:30:39,538 --> 00:30:42,307
Personally. Sending it right
to her. (laughter)
772
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:45,310
Okay, I-I'm gonna clip this
and send it to her. (laughs)
773
00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:48,313
-All right.
-Both the novel and the album
774
00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:50,782
Run Rose Run are
available right now.
775
00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:52,017
All right, we're gonna
take a quick break,
776
00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:53,785
but we'll be right
back after this.
777
00:30:56,387 --> 00:30:57,588
Well, that's our show for
tonight, but before we go,
778
00:30:57,688 --> 00:31:00,391
please consider supporting
Women Giving Back.
779
00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:03,661
Their mission is to support
women and children in crisis by
780
00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:07,631
providing quality clothing and
diaper assistance at no cost.
781
00:31:07,731 --> 00:31:11,502
Every year, they provide over
10,000 women and children with
782
00:31:11,602 --> 00:31:14,471
these necessities. So, if you
can support them in their work,
783
00:31:14,571 --> 00:31:16,740
then please donate
at the link below.
784
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,876
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there,
785
00:31:18,976 --> 00:31:20,711
get your vaccine, and remember:
786
00:31:20,811 --> 00:31:23,080
nobody should be bullied because
of where they're from.
787
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:26,016
They should be bullied for
liking things that you don't.
788
00:31:26,116 --> 00:31:29,053
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
789
00:31:29,153 --> 00:31:31,121
♪ ♪
790
00:31:32,389 --> 00:31:33,957
NEWSMAN: Hey, if you think
the world has a lot of problems,
791
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:37,061
maybe you can
blame this rock in Japan.
792
00:31:37,161 --> 00:31:38,896
-It's called the killing stone.
-NEWSWOMAN: Hmm.
793
00:31:38,996 --> 00:31:41,332
NEWSMAN: The rock supposedly
contains a demon spirit,
794
00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:43,200
trapped more than
1,000 years ago,
795
00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:46,203
-and the rock has actually split
in two. -NEWSWOMAN: Hmm.
796
00:31:46,303 --> 00:31:47,404
NEWSWMAN: So now they wonder
797
00:31:47,504 --> 00:31:50,107
if the demon spirit
has been released.
798
00:31:50,207 --> 00:31:52,443
Hopefully the demon spirit
got a head start
799
00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:54,745
and is long gone.
800
00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:56,647
-But where?
-(laughs)
801
00:31:58,115 --> 00:32:00,017
-(demonic laughter)
- ♪ ♪