1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,002 State of the Unions 2 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,370 are a vestige of a time that's long gone. 3 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,638 Like, before technology, 4 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,206 you needed the president to come and do that. 5 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,474 Now we don't need it. 6 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,742 Like, what's the president gonna come and tell you? 7 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,644 "Inflation is high." Yeah, we know. 8 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,546 We know. Back in the day though, you needed the president 9 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,515 to come and be like, "Guys, so there's a new disease. 10 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,050 "It's called tuberculosis. This shit is coming for you guys 11 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:18,919 and..." And then you're like, "Tuberc... (coughs) 12 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,888 What's that?" "Uh, too late for you, my man." 13 00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,823 "All right, uh, next State of the Union." 14 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,491 You know what I mean? Like, it was, like, a thing. 15 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,827 Now the president just comes to tell you stuff. 16 00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,129 It seems like the president is reading, like, Twitter 17 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,865 but, like-like, a year late. 18 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,734 And the president's like, "Aw, 19 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,003 you know, we saw people in the streets protesting." 20 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,339 "Uh, my man, we-we-we've-- we already saw that." 21 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,875 It's like, "Sorry, guys, I-I print all my tweets, 22 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,278 and then I read them a year later." 23 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,614 "The state of the union is strong." 24 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,416 One year, just one year, 25 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,285 the president should see people aren't listening, be like, 26 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,053 "Guys, yo, this shit is... 27 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,189 "this shit is crazy. 28 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,457 "I-I mean, I-I-- Like, I hope we get stronger, 29 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,326 but this shit is crazy, man." 30 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,527 At the State of the Union. 31 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,063 "Eh! Eh! 32 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:04,331 "Eh! 33 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,099 "Eh! Have you guys seen the price of gas? 34 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,202 "Eh! Have you seen what's happening in Russia? 35 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,571 "Eh! Eh, I don't know, man. 36 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,406 "I don't know. (stammers) State of the Union. 37 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,074 "We'll get by. Okay? 38 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,076 "We'll get by. I just want to be honest with you guys. 39 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,244 "We're a country, right? 40 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,112 "We don't have to lie about these things, yeah? 41 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,081 Yeah? You guys want to go get a drink after this?" 42 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,716 (laughs) 43 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,085 -♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square, 44 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:26,186 in New York City, 45 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:27,988 the only city in America, 46 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,190 it's The Daily Show. 47 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,527 Tonight, the world boycotts Russia, 48 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:36,296 Black State of the Union, 49 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,699 and Bob Odenkirk. 50 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:43,837 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 51 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,372 Hey! What's going on, everybody? 52 00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,107 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 53 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:50,244 We are now on day six of Russia invading Ukraine 54 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,346 for no particular reason. 55 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,481 So let's jump straight into the latest news 56 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,518 in our ongoing coverage of the war in Ukraine. 57 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,653 ♪ ♪ 58 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,791 As we all know, 59 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:08,595 Vladimir Putin launched his invasion of Ukraine last week. 60 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,063 And if you didn't know that, 61 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,331 well, then that opening graphics thing 62 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,600 must have been a really weird way for you to find out. 63 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,803 But, anyway, when Russia first launched this invasion, 64 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,472 what seems more and more plausible 65 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,542 is that they thought Ukrainians would just be like, 66 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,978 "Eh, Russia, Ukraine-- what's the difference? Come on in." 67 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,647 But quite the opposite has happened. 68 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,448 Ukrainians have stood strong. 69 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,384 They've united in their defense. 70 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,952 And because of that, 71 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,489 Russia has really ramped up their attacks. 72 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,292 NEWSMAN: This morning, Russia escalating its attacks, 73 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,760 striking civilian targets 74 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,095 in Ukraine's second largest city, Kharkiv. 75 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,132 An administrative building targeted with a massive strike. 76 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,701 Multiple social media videos from the scene showing 77 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,304 the attack by Kharkiv's Freedom Square. 78 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,108 Human Rights Watch pointing to this video online, 79 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:58,545 accusing the Russians of using cluster bombs on the city. 80 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,949 If verified, an attack on civilian areas 81 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,450 would be a war crime. 82 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,118 NEWSMAN 2: Now the capital itself 83 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:08,055 may be in a crosshairs of an all-out battle. 84 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,523 New satellite images show 85 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,492 a massive 40-mile Russian military convoy 86 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,228 on the move from the north. 87 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:17,364 Russia's advance is leaving a trail of destruction 88 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,498 in its path, 89 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,201 wrecking villages and suburbs on the way. 90 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,070 Holy shit. 91 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,405 That looks terrifying. 92 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,875 You see the bombs dropping on the parking lot. 93 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,477 The building-- Yo, they just blew it up. 94 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,346 Everything. Everything blown to smither-- 95 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,414 And this, by the way, is before, 96 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,417 before the 40-mile-long convoy gets there, 97 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:38,552 the one that's heading to Kyiv. 98 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,087 Think about that for a second. 99 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,488 Like, this is-- this is so unfair. 100 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,390 And d-- I mean, we've always known that Russia is unfair. 101 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,192 We know that. They don't play fair. 102 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,094 I mean, they sent an actual steroid 103 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,228 to compete in the Olympics. 104 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,364 But this is beyond unfair. 105 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,132 This is a war crime. 106 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,934 And, if anything, it's exposed Russia's lies 107 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,669 about why they're coming to Ukraine. 108 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,871 "Oh, we're coming to liberate the Ukrainian people." 109 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,274 From what? From what, having a place to stay? 110 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,876 It's no wonder that the entire world no longer wants anything 111 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,145 to do with Russia, and the more Putin escalates, 112 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,548 the more the world backs away. 113 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:08,916 NEWSMAN: Backlash against Russia 114 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,051 from the business sector and beyond. 115 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,053 Local and national businesses, 116 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,322 sports and even the arts are pushing back. 117 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,090 NEIL CAVUTO: Just seconds ago we got word 118 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:20,127 that Apple is now officially banning all product sales 119 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:21,895 in Russia. 120 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,298 NEWSMAN 3: Meanwhile, ice skating's world governing body 121 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,367 has suspended Russian and Belarusian skaters 122 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,837 from participating in international competition 123 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,206 effective immediately. 124 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,941 NEWSMAN 3: As for entertainment, Warner Brothers 125 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,677 has halted the release of The Batman in Russia. 126 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,346 Disney and Sony also announced 127 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,416 that they would pause film releases in Russia. 128 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,718 Finally, Netflix will not plan 129 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,688 to add Russian state TV channels to its service, 130 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,122 despite a new law in the country 131 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,358 that requires that they to do so. 132 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,294 Yup, in addition to cutting off Russia's banking 133 00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:57,197 and its travel, the world is now cutting off its access 134 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,766 to technology and entertainment. 135 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,068 And honestly, as much as I agree 136 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,036 with movie companies cutting off the Russians, 137 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,938 I don't think they've gone far enough. 138 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,740 Like, if you really want to punish Russia, 139 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,509 you shouldn't just block new movies. 140 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,143 They should rerelease old movies, 141 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,546 but without any of the good parts, you know? 142 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,181 Yeah. It should just be like, 143 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,650 "Now showing in Moscow theaters, it's Star Wars, 144 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,285 "but just Jar Jar Binks. 145 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:21,255 "The Matrix, but Neo never leaves the office. 146 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,290 And M. Night Shyamalan's Old." 147 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,925 They don't have to change anything for that one. 148 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,594 They just leave it the way it is and send it to Russia. 149 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,830 But between getting kicked out of international sports 150 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,932 and losing access to Western products, 151 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,268 Russians are going to start noticing 152 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:37,137 that the life that they're used to has changed 153 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,506 because of Vladimir Putin's decision. 154 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:43,744 Although, Putin is trying to fill that void himself. 155 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,145 MAN (with Russian accent): Are you worried 156 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,580 about movie not playing in Russia? 157 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,783 Well, do not worry, or we throw you in jail. 158 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,387 Now Russia have many great TV and movie to watch, 159 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,723 thanks to new streaming service-- Nyetflix. 160 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,893 Like new hit show-- Putin Big Table Talk, 161 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:03,463 number one show about Putin talking at big table. 162 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,098 So what if Russia banned from World Cup? 163 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,467 We don't care. You watch more exciting sport. 164 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,802 Putin play hockey. 165 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,504 He's best hockey player in the world. 166 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,340 -If you no think that, he throw you in jail. -(jail door slams) 167 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,677 And who need Western Batman when we have Russian Batman-- 168 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,178 Vladimir Putin? 169 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,315 You watch him practicing judo. He's same as Batman. 170 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:25,252 Sign up for Nyetflix today, or else you can watch in jail. 171 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,321 (jail door slams) 172 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,289 Now, despite all of the destruction 173 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,924 that Russia's inflicting on Ukraine, 174 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:34,595 the president of Ukraine is still standing strong. 175 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:38,799 Today he delivered a speech via satellite to the European Union 176 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,133 where he vowed 177 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,703 that Ukraine would never surrender its freedom. 178 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,138 And he received a standing ovation for the speech. 179 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,140 Meanwhile, the foreign minister of Russia gave a speech 180 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,977 to the United Nations Human Rights Council, 181 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,079 and most of the diplomats stood up 182 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,648 and walked out of the speech in protest. 183 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,518 Which I mean, to be fair, nobody wants to hear a speech 184 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,986 about respecting human rights 185 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,555 from someone who's currently bombing civilians. 186 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,590 It's like the guys from Jackass giving a lecture 187 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,058 about testicle safety. 188 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,493 In fact, the way things are going these days, 189 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,395 there's a decent chance that any speech 190 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,197 by Russia is just gonna end with, 191 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,232 "And so, in conclusion, 192 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,234 "lock the doors and release the poison. 193 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,036 Thank you for attending my talk." 194 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,605 Now, as for the people of Ukraine, 195 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,908 everyone around the world has been inspired 196 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,477 by the resistance that they've put up so far. 197 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,579 You know, and their ability to tell Russia 198 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,716 to go (bleep) itself in so many different ways. 199 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,419 NEWSOMAN: We've seen powerful images posted to social media 200 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:35,889 showcasing the courage of ordinary Ukrainian people. 201 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,393 NEWSMAN 2: We see Ukrainians coming out, manning checkpoints, 202 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,529 taking their hunting rifles, shotguns, 203 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,965 standing next to Ukrainian troops. 204 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,634 They are cutting down road signs by the roadside 205 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:51,405 in an attempt to confuse advancing Russian troops. 206 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,107 NEWSWOMAN: It's a popular sentiment on the streets. 207 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:57,377 This man's sign is too vulgar to translate. 208 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,014 Smatko is a grandmother and a retired economist. 209 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,617 These are the only weapons she has, 210 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,119 but she says she's ready to fight. 211 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,189 "Let those Russian shits come here," she says, 212 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,024 "We're ready to greet them." 213 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,693 NEWSMAN: This shows what is purported to be 214 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,429 a Ukrainian farmer attempting to tow a Russian tank 215 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,164 off his land with his tractor. 216 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,365 [people speaking indistinctly] 217 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,367 Do you have a message for President Putin? 218 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,903 [Woman speaking foreign language] 219 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,806 Putin [extended beep]... 220 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,576 You know what I love about the "bleep" sound? It's that 221 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,112 no matter what language you speak around the world, 222 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,114 you always know what it means. 223 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:39,186 Yeah, because if I tell you to [extended beep] river, 224 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,454 you can safely assume that I wasn't 225 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,089 wishing you a happy birthday. 226 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,624 And yo, that shit was crazy. Did you see that? 227 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,125 This is the middle of a war. 228 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:49,229 That farmer towed a Russian tank away with his tractor. 229 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,565 That is... the most gangsta thing on the farmer's side, 230 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,067 and it's the most embarrassing thing for the Russian soldier. 231 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,303 I mean, especially the way-- like, he's chasing after them 232 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,538 like the cops just towed his car. 233 00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,007 "Oh, come on, I was about to feed the meter!" 234 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,308 And despite the overwhelming odds, 235 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,010 you have to respect the fight, man. 236 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,012 You have to respect the fight that the Ukrainian people 237 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,581 are putting up. Civilians are grabbing shotguns. 238 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,716 Farmers are towing tanks. 239 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,018 Like, one thing we are learning from this war is 240 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,686 if you're gonna invade a country, 241 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,755 maybe don't pick the one where the grandmas know how to 242 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,823 turn their knitting into a fire bomb. 243 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,893 "Oh, you look thirsty. How about a drink!" 244 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,063 But, as brave as these people are, everyone is still terrified 245 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,332 about the potential outcome of this war. 246 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:29,403 And that's mainly because the madman who has launched it 247 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,272 is really, really, really unpredictable. 248 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,842 Growing fears about the mental stability of Vladimir Putin 249 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,544 as Russia pushes ahead with its invasion of Ukraine. 250 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,447 One American familiar with the intelligence telling CNN, 251 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,483 "Putin has been completely isolated, partly because of 252 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,953 "COVID. He is now just basically by himself, 253 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,055 "completely cut off from most of his advisers, 254 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,058 "isolated geographically... the only people talking to him are 255 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,060 sycophants who are just feeding his resentment." 256 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,463 NEWSMAN: We saw new images that show the lengths Putin has gone 257 00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,100 in recent weeks to isolate and socially distance himself 258 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,737 from others, even his closest advisers and cabinet members. 259 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:07,074 We're seeing him sitting at the end of a very long table. 260 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,309 Those long tables have become his trademark, 261 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,745 and his aides are clustered all together on one end, 262 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,780 he sits by himself on the other. 263 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,649 U.S. intelligence has learned that Putin 264 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:19,386 has exploded in anger at people in his inner circle, 265 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,289 expressing frustration over the state of the military campaign 266 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:25,459 in Ukraine and the worldwide condemnation of his actions. 267 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,894 That's unusual, they say, 268 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,962 because, as a former intelligence officer, 269 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,398 Putin usually keeps his emotions in check. 270 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:35,135 Yeah, apparently, Putin is really pissed off 271 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,005 because this invasion is not going how he planned. 272 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,340 And this is a big deal, because usually 273 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,343 Vladimir Putin doesn't show any emotions. 274 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,878 Like, if you've ever seen him, he's always got this 275 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,814 weird combination of being super calm 276 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,850 and also super dangerous. 277 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,219 Like a cobra that took too many edibles. 278 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,520 You know, it's just like... 279 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,656 (hisses weakly) 280 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,261 You do a cobra on weed. 281 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,096 And, you know, it actually makes sense. It makes sense 282 00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,499 that people haven't seen Putin show his emotions before, 283 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,368 because, remember, Vladimir Putin is a trained spy. 284 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:11,638 Spies have to keep their emotions in check. 285 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,308 Like, even if a spy goes to a party and at that party 286 00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:17,678 they're serving pigs in a blanket, you can't freak out 287 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,546 and get all excited like normal people. You can't be like, 288 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,215 "Oh shit, they got pigs in a blanket!" 289 00:11:21,315 --> 00:11:23,951 No, you can't do that. You got to be like, 290 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,453 (Russian accent): "Yeah, pigs in blanket. It's okay, I guess. 291 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,822 Yeah, give me, like, seven." 292 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,124 (normal accent): But, you know, it does make sense. 293 00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:33,160 It makes complete sense that he's lashing out now. 294 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:37,397 Remember this, Putin doesn't know what it's like to lose. 295 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:41,134 He "wins" every reelection without campaigning. 296 00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:43,704 He "wins" judo matches against world champions. 297 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,472 Now, suddenly, he's having trouble 298 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,542 beating a country that's a fraction of the size of his? 299 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:49,977 No wonder he's mad. 300 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,779 And by the way, this war shows you the big difference 301 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,283 between a guy like Trump and a man like Putin. 302 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,151 'Cause, like, as bad as Trump was, 303 00:11:58,252 --> 00:12:02,089 he never had the vision and the focus that Putin has. 304 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,391 You know? Putin's dream is to reunite the Soviet Union 305 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,060 and turn Russia back into the super power that it was. 306 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,529 The only dream Trump ever had 307 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:12,633 was to combine a-a Big Mac with a bucket of KFC. Yeah. 308 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,068 That's probably what he made Area 51 work on. 309 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,238 "Forget the alien autopsies, this is more important. 310 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,607 "We need to get the chicken inside the meat. 311 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,076 Deep in it, tender." 312 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,745 The point is this, the point is that anyone in the world 313 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,180 can be a madman. 314 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,416 But once you add power and vision-- 315 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,085 that's where shit gets real. 316 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,987 But please, please, I beg you, 317 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:38,425 don't confuse Putin with Russia. 318 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,561 Because although he's in charge, there are a lot of people 319 00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:43,964 in Russia who don't like their president or his war, 320 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,766 and they have also been displaying 321 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,668 some extraordinary courage. 322 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,270 Resistance to Russia's attack on Ukraine is growing, 323 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:54,174 and not just around the world, but also within its own borders. 324 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,110 NEWSMAN: Anti-war protesters risking their safety 325 00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,346 here in St. Petersburg. It's one of many protests 326 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,915 across the country, as Russian authorities 327 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,551 have detained nearly 6,000 people-- 328 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,721 grandmothers, teenagers, women, you name it. 329 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,456 NEWSWOMAN: Some saying they'd would rather risk arrest 330 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,391 than live with guilt. 331 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,862 "I want the whole world to see that we don't want it," 332 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,363 this woman says. 333 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,833 Powerful signals of an awakening to aggression and injustice. 334 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,768 NEWSWOMAN 2: "No war, please." 335 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,770 This is what a number of athletes 336 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:26,173 and celebrities are advocating for. 337 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,376 Russian tennis star Andrey Rublev asking for peace 338 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,245 after his win Friday. 339 00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,981 NEWSMAN 2: Hundreds of journalists signing a petition. 340 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,649 Uh, the director of the Bolshoi Ballet 341 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:38,719 signing a petition. Even the children of oligarchs 342 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,755 and of Kremlin officials speaking out on social media 343 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:42,990 against the war. 344 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,092 NEWSMAN 3: And a Russian lawmaker, who voted 345 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,095 with President Putin just this week, now saying 346 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,531 "I didn't vote for Kyiv to be bombed." 347 00:13:50,631 --> 00:13:52,432 Man, you got to give people credit 348 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,868 to people protesting this war, because 349 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,638 you know how brave it is to speak up against Russia 350 00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,806 inside Russia? 351 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,408 Like, I'm not even in Russia, 352 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,077 and I'm gonna test my coffee for poison after the show. 353 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,446 Like, you know, it's-it's always funny how people in America 354 00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:09,183 think the world has ended when they get banned from Twitter. 355 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,485 But think about it-- in Russia they don't delete your Twitter, 356 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,053 they delete your life. 357 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,122 And it's not just many Russian civilians 358 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,590 who are against the war. No. 359 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,059 One reason the invasion might not go as well as Russia 360 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,728 has hoped is that even some of its own soldiers 361 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,064 reportedly don't want to be there. 362 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,567 Many of them thought they were just doing military exercises, 363 00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:30,204 and they weren't even told that they were being sent into war. 364 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,839 Just think about that. 365 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,240 I mean, I think we can all agree 366 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,976 that war is the worst kind of surprise there is. 367 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:39,213 I mean, well, that and the reveal on Love Is Blind. 368 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,316 "Oh, you have a face tattoo in the shape of a goatee. 369 00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:44,585 I'm so happy." 370 00:14:44,685 --> 00:14:46,253 So, even within Russia, 371 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,689 people are standing up and risking their lives 372 00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:50,824 to stop a unjust war, 373 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,894 which is probably why Putin is resorting 374 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,796 to things like this. 375 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,197 NEWSMAN: Putin is ramping up efforts 376 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,166 to control the narrative at home, 377 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,701 banning media from characterizing 378 00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:03,136 Russia's attack on Ukraine as an assault, 379 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,672 invasion or declaration of war. 380 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,841 Instead, state-run media propaganda 381 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,277 paints Ukraine as Nazi aggressors 382 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,546 and Putin as Russia's defender. 383 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,948 NEWSWOMAN: Russian state TV has not been showing 384 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,085 Russian forces attacking Kyiv or attacking Kharkiv. 385 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,153 Russians who watch TV don't really see 386 00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,089 all the things that are going on in Ukraine. 387 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,324 NEWSMAN 2: We have seen crackdowns on social media 388 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,059 over the last couple of days. 389 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,463 Twitter has been operating at an absolutely sluggish pace. 390 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,832 The Russian government has said it will censor 391 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,934 parts of Facebook. 392 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,837 Wow. So, not only is Putin cracking down on dissent 393 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,540 but he's lying about what's actually happening. 394 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,075 Yeah. He's even banning the media 395 00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:45,879 from calling it an assault, an invasion or a war. 396 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,549 All of the things that it is, by the way. 397 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:50,117 Which means Russian newscasters 398 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,119 must be, like, deep in their thesaurus. 399 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,453 How do you even describe this? 400 00:15:53,554 --> 00:15:54,922 "Now to our ongoing coverage 401 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,691 "of the, uh, international bullet exchange 402 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,294 taking place in Ukraine right now?" 403 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,395 What's crazy about this whole thing 404 00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:03,263 is how Russia isn't banning Twitter. 405 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:06,266 Did you see that? They said they're just slowing it down. 406 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,468 Like, really slowing it down. 407 00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:10,337 Which I feel like is somehow worse. 408 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,606 You know? I mean, if you ban Twitter, 409 00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,041 fine. You've banned it. 410 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,577 At least that way, people get, you know, time. 411 00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:17,945 You'll be more productive. You know how productive 412 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,746 I would be if Twitter suddenly disappeared? 413 00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:22,816 I'd have so much more time to watch TikTok. 414 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,852 So, look, people, 415 00:16:24,952 --> 00:16:27,788 there's really no sugarcoating the situation right now. 416 00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:29,723 Despite the bravery of Ukraine 417 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,625 and the efforts around the world to punish Russia, 418 00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:34,528 this invasion might get a lot worse 419 00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:36,096 before it gets better. 420 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:39,266 And if Putin is as crazy as he seems, 421 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,601 our only hope at this point 422 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:43,136 is that, like, some hero Ukrainian farmer 423 00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:45,539 will come tow him and his giant-ass table away 424 00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,541 as far as possible. 425 00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:48,942 All right, we got to take a quick break, 426 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,344 but when we come back, we'll hear 427 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,213 Roy Wood Jr.'s address on the state of Black shit. 428 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,982 You don't want to miss it. 429 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,022 MAN: Then you need Tyranol. 430 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,862 This miracle pill can help you go from this... 431 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,465 It might be worth asking, "Why do I hate Putin so much?" 432 00:17:11,565 --> 00:17:13,467 -Why do you care about people... -Why do I care what's going on 433 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,035 -in the conflict between Ukraine and Russia? -Because... 434 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,737 And why shouldn't I root for Russia? Which I am. 435 00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:17,905 MAN: ...to this. 436 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,439 Vladimir Putin started this war. 437 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,876 He is to blame for what we're seeing tonight in Ukraine. 438 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,045 MAN: Tyranol works by invading your sovereign mind 439 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,948 and attacking any previously held memories or beliefs. 440 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,950 Just listen to this satisfied customer. 441 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,753 Vladimir Putin is a very talented statesman. 442 00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:36,323 I consider him a elegantly sophisticated counterpart. 443 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,692 We've seen a Russian dictator 444 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,862 now terrorize the Ukrainian people. 445 00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:44,064 MAN: And if you've been praising Putin for years, 446 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,466 then try Tyranol extended-release. 447 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,735 Putin has done an amazing job. 448 00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:52,639 Putin has much better leadership qualities than Obama. 449 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,876 President Putin was extremely strong and powerful. 450 00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:57,678 President Putin is sharp. 451 00:17:57,778 --> 00:18:00,314 Here's a guy who's very savvy. I know him very well. 452 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,115 You have not only Putin. 453 00:18:02,216 --> 00:18:04,918 You have other people that are stone-cold murderers 454 00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:08,121 and thugs and dictators that are very dangerous. 455 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:11,158 MAN: Tyranol extended-release is not 100% effective. 456 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:12,526 Tyranol may cause side effects 457 00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:14,661 including permanent resting constipation face 458 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,063 in some patients. 459 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:19,333 It's time to stop regretting and start forgetting. 460 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:28,774 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 461 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,543 Joe Biden has just finished 462 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,912 his State of the Union speech tonight, 463 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,047 and we didn't see it because I couldn't find the remote 464 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,215 until after it was over, 465 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,583 so we'll just have to cover it tomorrow. 466 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,285 But, as always, when the president talks 467 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,619 about the State of the Union, 468 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,789 we at The Daily Show offer our annual response, 469 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,926 where we cover the issues that are of special importance 470 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,260 to Black America. 471 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,763 So please rise your ass off the couch 472 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,866 as Roy Wood Jr. delivers the Daily Show's annual 473 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,935 State of Black Shit address. 474 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,070 ♪ ♪ 475 00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,141 -(applause) -Good evening, Black people, 476 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,576 African Americans, 477 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,178 and the new and improved Brown M&M! 478 00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,247 I'm coming to you from one of the Blackest locations 479 00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,716 in America, on top of one of those houses 480 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,618 from the Super Bowl halftime show. 481 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:13,819 As I speak to you, 482 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,255 Snoop Dogg is 12 feet below me, 483 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,523 high as hell, no idea 484 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,092 that the Super Bowl ended two, three weeks ago. 485 00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,927 But, tonight, Black people, 486 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:26,065 we are gathered to once again ask ourselves the question, 487 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,900 where we is? 488 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,902 The past year has been an interesting one 489 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:31,604 for our community. Mm-hmm. 490 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,507 Black people got a lot of what we've been fighting for, 491 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,276 just not in the way we had hoped. 492 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,812 New York City's got a Black mayor, 493 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,547 but he's a cop. 494 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,382 Black athletes made history, 495 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,251 but it was at the Winter Olympics. 496 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,319 I don't know how to do none of that shit. 497 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,422 Black people got out of prison, 498 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,291 but one of 'em was Bill Cosby. 499 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,160 It's the last time Black folks make a wish 500 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,328 with an evil genie coming out of a bottle of vodka. 501 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,730 Lesson learned. 502 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,300 Now, of course, 2020 was the year of Black progress, 503 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,003 which meant 2021 was the year 504 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,672 of white people freaking out about Black progress. 505 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,709 White people spent the last year furious at the idea 506 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:13,079 that their children might have to learn that racism exists, 507 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,648 and voting rights are disappearing around the country, 508 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,351 and they're not going to be easy to restore. 509 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,353 We may need to get whoever brought back LeBron's hair 510 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,954 to lead the fight. 511 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,557 But Black folks have also seen our fair share 512 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:27,259 of triumphs over the past year. 513 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,028 Obama's white friend turned Juneteenth 514 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:32,631 into a national holiday. That's right. 515 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,534 No more faking sick to celebrate Juneteenth. 516 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:38,304 You walk in that job and you look your white supervisor in 517 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:42,375 the face and you say, "Slavery!" and you hit the door. 518 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,478 From now on, faking sick is just for the days that I'm hungover. 519 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,814 So, for that, we say thank you, President Biden. 520 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:52,318 And also Vice President Harris... if we can find her. 521 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,121 She's kind of doing a Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar "lay low" 522 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,623 thing, where we only hear from her once or twice a year. 523 00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:58,924 Respect, Queen. 524 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,260 2021 also saw Black folk make progress in 525 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:05,631 non-traditional Black spaces, like spelling bees. 526 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,934 Over the summer, Zaila Avant-garde became the first 527 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:12,204 African-American to ever win the Spelling Bee, 528 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:15,675 which I think is g-r-a-t-e. 529 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,244 Black people also took time to get our minds right this year, 530 00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:21,580 because being Black can be taxing on your mental health. 531 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,749 You've constantly got to be thinking about racism, 532 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,584 or whether or not they're gonna reboot Martin. 533 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,788 That's why Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles made headlines 534 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,890 when they took a step back from their sports 535 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,192 to take care of their mental health. 536 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,594 Black athletes appreciated Osaka and Biles 537 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:38,531 setting an example for them, and the white athletes 538 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,633 who were competing against Osaka and Biles 539 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:43,235 appreciated the chance to win for a change. 540 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,204 But enough about the past. 541 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,006 Because we are here 542 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,075 to talk about the future. 543 00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,911 And the future looks bright for Black America. 544 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,479 -(brief applause) -In the entertainment world, 545 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,147 we're gonna get a new Jordan Peele movie, 546 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:59,185 a Black Panther sequel, and a Beyoncé album is slated. 547 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:01,620 I can't think of a better way to pass the time 548 00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:04,123 in a eight-hour voting line at midterms. 549 00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,926 In politics, a Black woman is likely to become 550 00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:10,029 a Supreme Court justice for the first time in history, 551 00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:13,199 making her the most powerful Black judge in the nation, 552 00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,935 right behind Judge Mathis and Lauren Lake. 553 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,503 And there's a whole new generation 554 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,572 of Black excellence on its way. 555 00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,574 Meghan Markle had a baby. 556 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:25,144 Lil Nas X's Lil Nas X is due any day now. 557 00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:28,047 And Rihanna is pregnant. 558 00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:30,249 The only way this could be better is if Rihanna's baby 559 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,385 is born holding her new album. 560 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:34,987 So, Black people, when you ask the question, 561 00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:37,890 "Where we is?," I say to you, 562 00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,192 we're on our way to a year of success, 563 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:43,362 excellence and reaching our full potential as a people. 564 00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:44,630 (applause) 565 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,966 -Unless-- hang on-- unless... -(applause stops) 566 00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:48,634 unless there's a new COVID variant. 567 00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,403 In that case, stay your ass inside 568 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,338 and watch the new season of Atlanta. 569 00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,640 God bless you, God bless Black people 570 00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:58,911 and God bless Nicki Minaj's cousin's swollen balls. 571 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,546 -I say good evening! -(applause) 572 00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:02,548 Play me out, Dre. 573 00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:04,583 ♪ ♪ 574 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:11,257 Thank you for that, Roy. All right, when we come back, 575 00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,592 the star of Better Call Saul, Bob Odenkirk, 576 00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,628 will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. 577 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:18,830 Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight 578 00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:22,134 is actor, director, and writer Bob Odenkirk. 579 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,202 He's here to talk about his new memoir, 580 00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:27,672 Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama. 581 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:29,541 Bob Odenkirk, welcome to The Daily Show. 582 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:32,010 -Hello, Trevor. Great to see you. -Um... 583 00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:33,712 -Good to see you. -Great to be here. 584 00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:36,281 -Good to-- Yeah, good to be in the space. -At the round table. 585 00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,150 Thank you so much for-for joining me, 586 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,318 especially to talk about a book that-- 587 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,888 I mean, it's, like, part memoir, but, really, it's... 588 00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:45,524 I feel like this is a how-to guide 589 00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:50,128 for anybody who wants to just work and grind through life. 590 00:23:50,228 --> 00:23:53,365 I hope so. That would be great if it had more than one use. 591 00:23:53,465 --> 00:23:54,666 (laughing) 592 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:55,967 No, I feel like that's one of the biggest uses. 593 00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:58,036 -That's what... -It'll hold the door open, too. 594 00:23:58,136 --> 00:23:59,938 -Stick it under the door jamb. -We-- Oh, please, Bob. 595 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,273 -Um, but, uh... -Like, it's-it's a really good book 596 00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:02,841 -about your life. -Thank you. 597 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,976 -It's about my career in comedy. -But I'd love to know why you... 598 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,478 -Yeah. -It's about showbiz. 599 00:24:06,578 --> 00:24:08,146 It's about hanging in there. 600 00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:10,782 It's about a lot of dead ends, 601 00:24:10,882 --> 00:24:12,250 which, uh... 602 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,352 I-I only included about, 603 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,089 I'm gonna say, a third of the dead ends. 604 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,758 Because it's very hard to write about shows and things 605 00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:22,494 that no one's ever gonna see or can see. 606 00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:23,995 I-I... 607 00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:26,264 I wrote the book for a number of reasons. 608 00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:29,935 -One, you know, pop culture moves so fast these days. -Yeah. 609 00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:33,872 And a lot of the things I did are smaller, cultish things. 610 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,375 I'm still very proud of them. Mr. Show. 611 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,110 -I was part of Get a Life. -Mm-hmm. 612 00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:41,113 Um, helping with Tenacious D and Tim and Eric. 613 00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:42,447 And-and... 614 00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:44,383 But these things are all gonna get covered over 615 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:48,820 -by lots more... gloppy comedy and stuff. -(laughs) 616 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,656 All of these feel like the stepping stones 617 00:24:51,757 --> 00:24:53,658 that got you to the world that we see you in now, 618 00:24:53,759 --> 00:24:55,394 -like, the person that we see today. -Yeah. 619 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:56,962 I-- Like, I fell in love with you, obviously, 620 00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:58,497 -like many people, from Breaking Bad. -Yeah. 621 00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,399 You know, that's where I went, like, "Who-- This guy is..." 622 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,334 -Yeah, that's where I was... -I've never loved a lawyer 623 00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:03,769 -who's sleazy, who's... -Became known. Yeah. 624 00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,504 -Yeah. -You know what I mean? I feel like you changed 625 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:07,839 -how we even see "lawyers" in that way. -Lawyers, 626 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,308 -for some reason, love this guy. -(laughs) 627 00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:12,210 Guys, he's a bad guy. 628 00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:13,645 Y-You think-- Wait, you think he's a bad guy? 629 00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:16,114 No, no, I think he's a good guy, but his guise, 630 00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:19,684 his choice to be Saul Goodman, 631 00:25:19,785 --> 00:25:22,421 uh, to put on this front, 632 00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:26,058 to, you know, embrace situational ethics... 633 00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:29,194 -Yeah? -I think is a bad choice. I don't like it. 634 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:31,596 -I don't like people like that. -Yes, I think it's a bad choice. 635 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:33,432 But in the end, in the end... 636 00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:34,900 'Cause I know the end now. 637 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,002 We finished two weeks ago tomorrow. 638 00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,604 -We finished shooting. -This is long awaited. 639 00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:43,975 In the end, I like where it goes. 640 00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,878 -Okay, okay. -So we will see, you will see. 641 00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:48,880 When you read this book... I... 642 00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:51,750 I mean, the title says it all-- Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama. 643 00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,618 -Yeah. -I don't know your story. 644 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,620 A lot of people don't know your story. They just see a person 645 00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:57,155 on TV. They go like, "This person's amazing." 646 00:25:57,255 --> 00:25:58,623 Then we see you somewhere else. 647 00:25:58,657 --> 00:25:59,891 "This person's even more amazing." 648 00:25:59,991 --> 00:26:02,060 -We assume life has always been amazing. -Yeah. 649 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,628 -Then we see the grind. -Mm-hmm. 650 00:26:03,662 --> 00:26:05,063 We see... Like, you say this. 651 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:07,199 Failure, feature, failure, dead end, dead end, dead end, 652 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,867 dead end. Moment of success? No. 653 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,769 Failure, failure, dead end, dead end, moment again. 654 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:13,271 And it feels like, throughout your life, 655 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:15,640 like Saul Goodman, you've been just trying 656 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:18,377 to get that grip on this world and this career. 657 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:20,245 Are you happy with where your life has gotten to? 658 00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:22,581 -Oh, very much so. -Is this, like, a celebration of that now? 659 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:25,350 Very much so. Yeah, I... And by the way, I mean, 660 00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:28,987 look, I've had unbelievable success in the last few years 661 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,656 with, um, Better Call Saul and this film, 662 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,626 action film Nobody played really well around the world. 663 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:39,364 And, uh, of course that informs it, 664 00:26:39,464 --> 00:26:41,166 but I'm very happy with where I'm at. 665 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:45,670 But I also am happy with all the variety of things 666 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,806 that I did and have gotten to do. 667 00:26:47,906 --> 00:26:49,408 And I think that that's a great quality 668 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:50,876 -to show business... -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 669 00:26:50,976 --> 00:26:54,246 ...is the different avenues you can go down over time. 670 00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:57,616 'Cause this business loves people reinventing themselves. 671 00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:02,654 -It does feed on the injured, you know. -(laughing) 672 00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:07,626 If you're trailing blood, you will get eaten and spit out. 673 00:27:07,659 --> 00:27:11,530 But if you can just regenerate yourself quickly 674 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,633 and go, "I'm back," the business is like, 675 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:17,903 "Oh, great. He's back." And that's pretty neat. 676 00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:20,205 I was really touched by you sharing parts of your story 677 00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:23,241 and how, you know, you grew up one of seven siblings? Right? 678 00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:25,343 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. -You know, and-and your dad was a-- 679 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,579 was struggling with alcoholism... -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 680 00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:30,282 Walked out on the family, etc. [stammers] 681 00:27:30,382 --> 00:27:32,684 It feels like that really changed a lot of how you wanted 682 00:27:32,784 --> 00:27:35,320 to be a dad. Like, in the book, there's this really beautiful 683 00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:38,090 part where you go, "I don't want to do Better Call Saul. 684 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,358 because I want to be a better dad. I want to be at home." 685 00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:42,661 And then it's your kids who say, "No, you gotta go do the show." 686 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:44,863 -Yeah. -Did your manager call the kids? 687 00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:45,464 How did this happen? 688 00:27:45,597 --> 00:27:47,366 [laughter] 689 00:27:47,466 --> 00:27:50,335 I-I don't wonder too much about it, 690 00:27:50,435 --> 00:27:53,739 but it does seem a little magical, because my kids 691 00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:56,141 were 13 and 15 at the time... -Yeah. 692 00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:59,244 And then-- When they first came to me and said, 693 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:02,447 -"We are gonna do-- We want to do Better Call Saul." -Mm-hmm. 694 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,750 It was a joke at first. The first scene I did 695 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:10,122 with Bryan Cranston on the set of Breaking Bad, in the office, 696 00:28:10,222 --> 00:28:14,292 as soon as we were done with the take, one of the camera crew 697 00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:16,728 -said, "Can I get a job on the sequel?" -I love that. 698 00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:18,563 And everyone laughed. 699 00:28:18,597 --> 00:28:21,867 And then it became this kind of running joke. 700 00:28:21,967 --> 00:28:24,136 "There's got to be a sequel. They should do a show 701 00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:27,005 about Saul." And then Vince Gilligan came to me-- 702 00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:30,075 more than once-- "You think there's a show in there?" 703 00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:32,677 "About Saul? I think there is." 704 00:28:32,778 --> 00:28:35,213 But when they said, you know, it's shot in Albuquerque, 705 00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:37,816 I looked at my kids and I thought about our life, 706 00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:40,719 and I, and I did think of all-- my own dad and... 707 00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:43,855 he did not prioritize his family at all. 708 00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:47,759 And I-I just said, "I can't do it. I can't leave yet." 709 00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:50,429 -There's too much work here at the house. -Mm. 710 00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:53,465 And, uh, the kids overheard that, 711 00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:54,733 and I hung up the phone. 712 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:56,835 And my son was standing there across the room, 713 00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:58,770 and he... he goes, uh, "So you're not gonna 714 00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:01,807 do that show, huh?" And I go, "No, no. 715 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:03,875 It's not-it's not time." 716 00:29:03,975 --> 00:29:07,212 And he goes, "Well, you're gonna disappoint a lot of people." 717 00:29:07,312 --> 00:29:10,649 And, uh, and then we carried on talking, and he said, 718 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,217 "We'll help out at the house, Dad. 719 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:13,652 We'll make it work." 720 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:16,021 So I let it go, and then my daughter came to me, 721 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:17,856 and she had talked to my son. 722 00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:21,026 And, uh, and my daughter was more like 723 00:29:21,126 --> 00:29:24,196 a kid who grew up in Hollywood, with questions. 724 00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:27,999 "Wha... What would it be like? Would it be hard to do? 725 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,634 Uh, do you think people would like it?" 726 00:29:29,735 --> 00:29:34,573 And then she said, "If it's bad, how bad would it be?" 727 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,208 Real manager type. 728 00:29:36,308 --> 00:29:38,810 -Yes, it sounds like it. Yes. -This is a 13-year-old. 729 00:29:38,910 --> 00:29:41,380 And I go, "It wouldn't be bad. 730 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:42,881 "It would be an interesting experiment. 731 00:29:42,981 --> 00:29:44,449 That's the worst it would be." 732 00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:46,585 And she goes, "Well, you should do it." 733 00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:49,054 -I love that. I love that. -And, so... 734 00:29:49,154 --> 00:29:51,189 Before I let you go, how's your heart, 735 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,758 -by the way? You-you had a heart attack, right? -I'm great. 736 00:29:52,858 --> 00:29:54,993 -I did. I did. -You didn't just have a heart... 737 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:56,595 -'Cause that's-not that's not the book. -On July 25. 738 00:29:56,695 --> 00:29:58,864 You know, I finished the book long before 739 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:02,768 I had the heart attack. Um... 740 00:30:02,868 --> 00:30:04,870 Uh, I did, I had a-a heart attack. 741 00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:08,106 And I was very lucky to have it on the set, 742 00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:11,977 and there were some pros around who immediately gave me CPR. 743 00:30:12,077 --> 00:30:15,614 And, everybody listening, take a CPR class. 744 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,550 Brush up on it. They saved my life. 745 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:19,918 You-you don't remember any of this. 746 00:30:20,018 --> 00:30:21,553 I don't remember any of it. 747 00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:24,189 The next day after the surgery, I woke up. 748 00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:27,559 My family was there. And I was like, "Hey. Uh..." 749 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,061 I was like, "I got to go back to work." 750 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,463 -(laughs) -And they were... I'm in a hospital gown. 751 00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:34,332 And they go, um, "No, you don't. 752 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:35,600 You had a heart attack." 753 00:30:35,701 --> 00:30:37,903 I'm like, "Well, no. No. What? No. 754 00:30:38,003 --> 00:30:39,237 I was... I was at work." 755 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:41,306 And they go, "How did you get here?" 756 00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:42,941 And I go... 757 00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:45,310 And my brain did this all on its own. 758 00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:48,580 "I dr... I drove here, 759 00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:51,483 -and I parked on level two." -Wow. 760 00:30:51,583 --> 00:30:54,319 "And then... 'Cause I knew you guys were here. 761 00:30:54,419 --> 00:30:56,421 -And-and then I came in here." -Wow. 762 00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:58,323 And my wife goes, "So, you came in here, 763 00:30:58,423 --> 00:31:00,992 and you got in that bed, and you put that gown on?" 764 00:31:01,093 --> 00:31:03,462 And I looked down, and I'm like... 765 00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:06,365 "Yeah." 766 00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:09,067 -Oh, man. -Yeah, like, my brain made up a little story 767 00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:11,970 about how I'd gotten there. Totally weird. 768 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:14,339 -But I'm great. (laughs) -I'm glad, man. 769 00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:15,774 I'm glad. I'm glad you're great. 770 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,843 I'm glad we get to celebrate the final season 771 00:31:17,943 --> 00:31:20,212 -of Better Call Saul with you. -Better Call Saul. 772 00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:22,414 I'm glad we cele... we get to celebrate the book with you. 773 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,416 -Um, congratulations to you. -Thanks, my friend. 774 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,951 -Congratulations on your life. -Thank you so much. 775 00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:27,386 -And, um, say hi to the kids. -I will. 776 00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:29,554 -Thank them for all of us as the fans. -I will. 777 00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:30,856 We really do appreciate them. 778 00:31:30,956 --> 00:31:32,557 -Thanks. -All right, people, Bob's book 779 00:31:32,624 --> 00:31:35,427 Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama is available right now. 780 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,595 We're gonna take a quick break, 781 00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:38,397 but we'll be right back after this. 782 00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:44,101 Well, that's our show for tonight. 783 00:31:44,202 --> 00:31:46,470 But before we go, families in Ukraine are fleeing violence 784 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,773 and urgently need emergency aid. 785 00:31:48,873 --> 00:31:50,841 CARE's immediate crisis response 786 00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:53,077 aims to reach four million people, 787 00:31:53,177 --> 00:31:56,514 prioritizing women and girls, families and the elderly. 788 00:31:56,614 --> 00:31:58,683 So, if you can donate at the link below 789 00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:02,286 to rush urgently needed water, food, hygiene kits, 790 00:32:02,386 --> 00:32:05,223 and ongoing support in Ukraine to the people who need it, 791 00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:07,225 then please, go to the link below. 792 00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:09,293 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, 793 00:32:09,393 --> 00:32:11,095 get your vaccine, and remember: 794 00:32:11,195 --> 00:32:12,964 if you're considering invading Ukraine 795 00:32:13,064 --> 00:32:14,198 to make your life easier, 796 00:32:14,298 --> 00:32:15,967 you probably might want to think again. 797 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:19,036 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 798 00:32:19,136 --> 00:32:21,038 ♪ ♪ 799 00:32:21,138 --> 00:32:23,040 For Russia to... 800 00:32:23,140 --> 00:32:25,376 "Hey, we will be in Kyiv for one day." 801 00:32:25,476 --> 00:32:27,178 (bleep) yourself. (chuckles) 802 00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:29,380 (bleep) you, Lavrov. 803 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,748 It's... (speaks foreign language)