1 00:00:01,411 --> 00:00:02,379 It's been a really rough, uh, I just want to check in on 2 00:00:02,479 --> 00:00:03,847 all of you. Everybody who works here. 3 00:00:03,947 --> 00:00:06,283 I know this has been a really rough time this past week. 4 00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:08,151 Um, 5 00:00:08,251 --> 00:00:10,820 a lot of cartoon characters have been changing their outfits, 6 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,422 and I just wanted to make sure you guys are all 7 00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:13,990 feeling safe and secure. 8 00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,792 The M&M's thing rocked people. 9 00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:18,495 Um, now Disney announced that Minnie is going to be 10 00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:21,464 wearing a pantsuit. People are losing their shit over this, 11 00:00:21,565 --> 00:00:25,802 because, apparently, they liked those sexy, sleek legs of hers. 12 00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:27,270 A lot of people don't know what this means for 13 00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:29,139 the future of the country. 14 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:31,942 I'm, I'm not going to lie, I-I-I-I didn't ever think 15 00:00:32,042 --> 00:00:33,476 a country could be this angry about 16 00:00:33,577 --> 00:00:35,078 cartoon characters... 17 00:00:35,178 --> 00:00:37,380 changing their outfits. 18 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,915 Like, people are angry. 19 00:00:39,015 --> 00:00:42,686 "Minnie Mouse should be wearing that mini-skirt. 20 00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:43,887 "Okay? 21 00:00:43,987 --> 00:00:45,121 "It's called-- She's called Minnie Mouse, 22 00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:48,391 "Not-not Pants Mouse, okay? 23 00:00:48,491 --> 00:00:52,829 I want to see that ass! Okay?!" 24 00:00:52,929 --> 00:00:54,764 People literally are on the news being like, 25 00:00:54,864 --> 00:00:57,634 "This is destroying the fabric of society. 26 00:00:57,734 --> 00:00:59,703 "Huh? What's next? Donald Duck? 27 00:00:59,803 --> 00:01:02,439 You're not going to be able to see his dick? Huh?!" 28 00:01:02,539 --> 00:01:04,007 Just wear different outfits. 29 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,343 The only people who shouldn't wear different outfits 30 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:07,844 are, like, people who are geniuses, 31 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,246 because they don't want to waste time. Like, 32 00:01:09,346 --> 00:01:10,647 like Albert Einstein. 33 00:01:10,747 --> 00:01:12,115 He says he wore the same clothes every day 34 00:01:12,148 --> 00:01:13,617 because he didn't want to waste time 35 00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,151 thinking about what he was gonna wear. 36 00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:16,753 He's like, "I'm trying to solve the universe, 37 00:01:16,853 --> 00:01:19,389 I can't figure out if, like, check goes with polka dot." 38 00:01:19,489 --> 00:01:20,490 You know what I mean? 39 00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:22,392 Trying to figure shit out. 40 00:01:22,492 --> 00:01:24,261 Uh, Steve Jobs? Same thing. 41 00:01:24,361 --> 00:01:25,896 He was like, "Yo, same outfit, 42 00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:27,464 I'm not wasting my brain power." 43 00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,532 A lot of people do that in, like, life now. 44 00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,735 They go like, "Yeah, I don't waste time thinking 45 00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:33,370 because I want to..." But people don't realize, 46 00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:34,638 not picking your clothes doesn't mean 47 00:01:34,738 --> 00:01:36,039 you automatically become smarter. 48 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,641 Some people are still dumbasses, but now you just 49 00:01:37,741 --> 00:01:39,910 wear the same clothes every day. 50 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,212 Yeah, I don't think people realize that 51 00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:44,414 that might be the one saving grace that you have, 52 00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:46,750 Because now you're coming with the same dumb shit every day 53 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,918 and you look the same. 54 00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:49,319 If you switch things up, people will be like, 55 00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,688 "That shit was dumb again, but nice shirt." 56 00:01:51,788 --> 00:01:53,223 ♪ ♪ 57 00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:55,358 Coming to you from the heart of Times Square in New York City, 58 00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,394 the only city in America, 59 00:01:57,494 --> 00:01:59,763 It's The Daily Show. 60 00:01:59,863 --> 00:02:02,899 Tonight, schools in Omicron, 61 00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:05,602 "Why Football is Weird," 62 00:02:05,702 --> 00:02:08,204 And Lindsey Vonn. 63 00:02:08,305 --> 00:02:13,109 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 64 00:02:13,209 --> 00:02:14,444 Hey! What's going on, everybody? 65 00:02:14,544 --> 00:02:16,012 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 66 00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:18,648 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 67 00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:21,318 ♪ ♪ 68 00:02:21,418 --> 00:02:24,387 And we begin with the Supreme Court. 69 00:02:24,487 --> 00:02:26,957 The world's lamest gospel choir. 70 00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:28,758 Today, major news, people, 71 00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:32,295 Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer has officially 72 00:02:32,395 --> 00:02:34,130 announced that he is retiring. 73 00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:35,332 And I know you're thinking, "Wait, 74 00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:36,299 we spoke about this yesterday." 75 00:02:36,399 --> 00:02:37,601 No, that wasn't officially. 76 00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:38,735 That was unofficially. 77 00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:39,936 That was like a tweet. 78 00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:41,338 That was official, but it wasn't official. 79 00:02:41,438 --> 00:02:43,306 This is official-official. Right? 80 00:02:43,406 --> 00:02:44,641 And this is going to have ramifications, 81 00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,142 but before we get into the politics, 82 00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:49,980 let's take a moment to honor Justice Breyer's career. 83 00:02:50,146 --> 00:02:51,982 And that's enough of that. All right, so, 84 00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,851 Joe Biden, you may remember, promised during the campaign 85 00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:56,586 that he was going to nominate a Black woman 86 00:02:56,686 --> 00:02:58,521 if an opening on the Supreme Court came up 87 00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:02,626 because he cares deeply about representation... 88 00:03:02,726 --> 00:03:04,995 ...and winning Georgia. 89 00:03:05,095 --> 00:03:06,596 And so, now it looks like that's what we're planning to do. 90 00:03:06,696 --> 00:03:09,799 But everyone is not happy about that. 91 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,202 Right off the bat, he is excluding 92 00:03:12,302 --> 00:03:15,372 all potential candidates who are not African-American women. 93 00:03:15,472 --> 00:03:17,107 So, if you're a man, 94 00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:18,275 if you happen to be white, 95 00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:21,111 an Asian-American, Hispanic-American, 96 00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:23,446 Joe Biden will not even look at your resume. 97 00:03:23,547 --> 00:03:27,584 To exclude certain candidates based solely on race and gender 98 00:03:27,684 --> 00:03:30,153 is beyond extremely divisive. 99 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,122 Uh, it may even be illegal. 100 00:03:32,188 --> 00:03:33,823 I don't think the president 101 00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:37,928 should ever, ever insult the person he's gonna nominate 102 00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:40,764 by saying, "You're not the most qualified person. 103 00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,999 You're just the most qualified Black woman person." 104 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,335 NEWSWOMAN: Well, I mean, what kind of qualification is that, 105 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:46,903 being a Black woman? 106 00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,838 I mean, i-is this our standards now 107 00:03:48,939 --> 00:03:51,007 in terms of the highest court in the land? 108 00:03:51,141 --> 00:03:53,810 You almost got the impression that Joe Biden believes 109 00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:56,246 all Black women are the same. They're identical. 110 00:03:56,346 --> 00:03:59,449 This is exactly why decent Americans hated segregation. 111 00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:01,151 It dehumanized people. 112 00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,453 And why isn't there an American Indian on the court? 113 00:04:03,553 --> 00:04:04,788 Or a genderqueer? 114 00:04:04,888 --> 00:04:06,890 Why isn't there an Afghan refugee 115 00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:08,592 under consideration? 116 00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:12,529 "Yeah, and why isn't there a sexy M&M under consideration? 117 00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:14,664 "I'm talking about one of those M&Ms 118 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:17,867 "that goes right from the legs straight to the shell. Hmm? 119 00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,570 Did we all just get horny? Hmm? Just me?" 120 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,138 Look, man, there's a lot to unpack here, 121 00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:25,242 but most importantly, being a Black woman 122 00:04:25,342 --> 00:04:27,210 isn't the qualification. 123 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,013 All right? Joe Biden is gonna pick a Black woman 124 00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:33,250 who is also qualified. 125 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,352 These people act like Biden 126 00:04:35,452 --> 00:04:37,120 is just gonna show up at the mall and be like, 127 00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:38,722 "Yo, Shaniqua, come with me." 128 00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:40,123 "Uh, my name is Regina." 129 00:04:40,223 --> 00:04:41,491 "Uh, it doesn't matter. Just put on these robes. 130 00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:42,592 I need help with abortion." 131 00:04:42,692 --> 00:04:45,128 No. She's going to be qualified. 132 00:04:45,228 --> 00:04:46,429 And why is that a bad thing? 133 00:04:46,529 --> 00:04:48,131 Why not try to make the Supreme Court 134 00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,866 a little more representative 135 00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:52,669 of the country it represents? 136 00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:54,638 I mean, their rulings impact the lives 137 00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:56,940 of every person in the country, 138 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,076 so it would be nice to have at least one justice on there 139 00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:01,978 who's had to ask the Walgreens guy 140 00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:03,513 to unlock the shampoo shelf. 141 00:05:03,613 --> 00:05:05,081 But at the same time, at the same time, 142 00:05:05,115 --> 00:05:06,483 I also hear what these Fox people are saying. 143 00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:08,552 You know? It shouldn't matter 144 00:05:08,652 --> 00:05:10,453 whether you're Black or white. 145 00:05:10,554 --> 00:05:12,756 This position should only go 146 00:05:12,856 --> 00:05:14,824 to the most qualified judge 147 00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:17,561 who also thinks that guns are people. 148 00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:20,096 And, I mean, I feel bad for Tucker Carlson. 149 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:22,132 Of course he's upset. You know, think about it. 150 00:05:22,232 --> 00:05:24,301 For almost all of American history, 151 00:05:24,401 --> 00:05:27,270 the entire Supreme Court was white dudes 152 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,473 with bow ties and weird hair. 153 00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:33,209 And now that's all gone. Huh? It's all gone. 154 00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:35,712 Where's Tucker's representation, huh? 155 00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:38,114 Lacrosse lives matter, people. 156 00:05:38,181 --> 00:05:40,116 All right, let's move on from America 157 00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:43,987 to America's estranged dad, Great Britain. 158 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,922 Their Prime Minister Boris Johnson 159 00:05:46,022 --> 00:05:48,358 has been embroiled in scandal ever since it was discovered 160 00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,360 that while Britons were in lockdown, 161 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:52,395 he broke the rules 162 00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:54,564 and threw a bunch of office parties. 163 00:05:54,664 --> 00:05:57,133 And apparently they were partying for everything. 164 00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:59,302 Retirement parties, birthday parties, 165 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,737 regular hangout parties. 166 00:06:00,837 --> 00:06:02,305 Shit, they were throwing parties 167 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,975 just because someone figured out how to unjam the printer. 168 00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:06,843 "It's working. It's really working. 169 00:06:06,943 --> 00:06:08,712 Well, this calls for a spot of bubbly." 170 00:06:08,812 --> 00:06:11,548 (chanting): "Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!" 171 00:06:11,648 --> 00:06:12,716 And as if that wasn't bad enough, 172 00:06:12,816 --> 00:06:15,785 now Boris has another scandal brewing. 173 00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:17,587 NEWSMAN: British Prime Minister Boris Johnson-- 174 00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:19,089 get this-- 175 00:06:19,122 --> 00:06:21,791 is once again on the defense 176 00:06:21,892 --> 00:06:23,326 over another issue. 177 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,928 This time it's whether he authorized 178 00:06:25,095 --> 00:06:29,266 the evacuation of cats and dogs from Afghanistan. 179 00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:31,301 A batch of leaked emails appear to contradict 180 00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:33,303 Johnson's claims of having nothing to do 181 00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:35,272 with the evacuation of animals 182 00:06:35,372 --> 00:06:37,274 from a British charity in Afghanistan 183 00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:38,975 as the country fell to the Taliban 184 00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,011 and humans being were scrambling 185 00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,879 to find a way out of that country. 186 00:06:42,979 --> 00:06:44,848 The prime minister has always denied intervening, 187 00:06:44,948 --> 00:06:47,317 a denial he repeated this lunchtime. 188 00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:50,186 This whole thing is-is-is total rhubarb. 189 00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:52,656 The military always prioritized, 190 00:06:52,756 --> 00:06:55,292 uh, human, uh, beings, 191 00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:56,560 and that was quite right. 192 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,028 And I think we should be incredibly proud 193 00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,230 of-of Op Pitting and what it achieved. 194 00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,666 Yo, can I be honest? 195 00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:05,535 This is the most white people scandal of all time. 196 00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:09,372 You rescued pets before human beings? 197 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:13,410 Guys, you have to prioritize saving people over animals 198 00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:16,446 because people will be grateful about it. 199 00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:18,848 You rescue a cat from Afghanistan, 200 00:07:18,949 --> 00:07:21,117 it'll act like it's doing you a favor. 201 00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:22,519 "Meow. Thanks." 202 00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:24,621 Now, Boris says that this whole scandal is 203 00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,823 "total rhubarb," so you can tell he's stressed, 204 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,092 because British people only bust out the obscure vegetables 205 00:07:29,192 --> 00:07:30,827 when their backs are against the wall. 206 00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:32,495 "Prince Andrew, what were you doing 207 00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:34,431 on Jeffrey Epstein's island?" 208 00:07:34,531 --> 00:07:36,766 "Oh, brussels sprouts, it's not what you think." 209 00:07:36,866 --> 00:07:38,435 This is when you realize how special Trump was 210 00:07:38,535 --> 00:07:40,637 at getting out of a jam, right? Remember that guy? 211 00:07:40,737 --> 00:07:43,306 Because where most politicians try and undo the scandal, 212 00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:44,808 Trump was a genius, man. 213 00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:47,611 He would just add another one to throw us off the trail. 214 00:07:47,711 --> 00:07:49,546 "I know you're upset, 215 00:07:49,646 --> 00:07:52,916 "but why are we talking about me sleeping with a porn star 216 00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:56,319 "when I'm about to overthrow the government, huh? 217 00:07:56,419 --> 00:07:58,388 "That's the real story, folks. 218 00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:01,057 "Throwing over my own government. 219 00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:03,627 "And I'm gonna overthrow it with me inside it. 220 00:08:03,727 --> 00:08:05,528 Now I'm upside down." 221 00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:09,666 All right, finally, let us turn to today's big education news. 222 00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:12,969 "I" before "E" except after "C." 223 00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:16,072 Apparently, it's not true. You can just flip that shit. 224 00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,074 I based my whole personality on that. 225 00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:21,177 Also, another education story is over the last few months, 226 00:08:21,278 --> 00:08:24,080 there have been big movements by conservatives 227 00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:27,117 to put limits on what kids can learn in schools. 228 00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:30,887 Laws saying that you can't teach divisive concepts about race. 229 00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:34,124 Uh, laws saying that books should be pulled from libraries 230 00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:36,092 for talking about gender identity. 231 00:08:36,192 --> 00:08:38,929 Basically, at this point, if it's not math, science 232 00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:40,463 or how to hide from a shooter, 233 00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:41,531 they don't think it's appropriate 234 00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:43,099 for kids to know about. 235 00:08:43,199 --> 00:08:44,634 And now one school board 236 00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:47,704 is going after a surprising new target. 237 00:08:47,804 --> 00:08:49,839 A Tennessee school board decided to ban 238 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:52,842 the Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel Maus. 239 00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:56,346 It's the only graphic novel ever to win the Pulitzer, 240 00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,682 but the McMinn County School Board in Tennessee 241 00:08:58,782 --> 00:09:00,517 has banned the book. 242 00:09:00,617 --> 00:09:03,720 One board member said... 243 00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:12,062 Maus is widely seen as the gold standard 244 00:09:12,095 --> 00:09:14,764 when it comes to teaching kids about the Holocaust, 245 00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:17,300 given its unique voice, its unique approach. 246 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,605 This decision baffling the author of Maus, Art Spiegelman. 247 00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:24,774 He was interviewed by CNBC about this dec-- the decision 248 00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:26,409 and he said this. 249 00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:37,888 Now, if you don't know Maus, 250 00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:39,556 the whole reason this book is taught in middle school 251 00:09:39,656 --> 00:09:41,825 is that it's a serious book about the Holocaust 252 00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,560 that kids actually want to read. 253 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:45,161 And adults, too. All right? 254 00:09:45,262 --> 00:09:47,197 Because a subject this huge and horrifying 255 00:09:47,297 --> 00:09:49,099 is hard to get your head around. 256 00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:51,568 So what Maus does is it turns all of the people 257 00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:53,303 into cartoon animals. Right? 258 00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:54,838 The Jews are represented by mice, 259 00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:56,373 the Germans are represented by cats. 260 00:09:56,473 --> 00:09:58,475 And because that's a trope that we're familiar with 261 00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:01,711 from comic books, it helps people process this event 262 00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:04,047 that's unthinkable otherwise. 263 00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:05,982 I mean, it's either a comic book 264 00:10:06,082 --> 00:10:07,484 or that Peanuts special 265 00:10:07,584 --> 00:10:09,586 It's Genocide, Charlie Brown. 266 00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:12,188 No, but, seriously though, just because you show something 267 00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:13,990 doesn't mean you are promoting it. 268 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,458 You need to include certain stories 269 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,394 because they represent reality. 270 00:10:17,494 --> 00:10:21,331 Right? It's like having the N-word in Huckleberry Finn 271 00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:23,967 or the N-word in To Kill a Mockingbird 272 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:26,803 or the N-word in Of Mice and Men or the N-word... 273 00:10:26,903 --> 00:10:28,939 ♪ ♪ 274 00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:31,308 ...Goodnight Moon. 275 00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:32,509 Wow. 276 00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:34,077 They said the N-word a lot. (chuckles) 277 00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,646 So, listen, Tennessee school board, 278 00:10:36,746 --> 00:10:40,016 you don't need to be denying the Holocaust, okay? 279 00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:41,651 That's YouTube's job. 280 00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:43,086 Stay in your lane. 281 00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,955 And when you teach kids, teach them the whole truth. 282 00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:46,423 You can't teach it while avoiding 283 00:10:46,523 --> 00:10:48,959 some of the unpleasant parts. That's not a thing. 284 00:10:49,059 --> 00:10:51,361 That's history. You're supposed to teach it properly. 285 00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:54,364 And it's gonna make these kids look really dumb 286 00:10:54,464 --> 00:10:55,932 later on in life. 287 00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,034 "Ah, yes, the Holocaust. 288 00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:02,105 "When, uh, millions of people were given free pajamas. 289 00:11:02,205 --> 00:11:03,173 No?" 290 00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:04,674 Okay. Enough of that. 291 00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,409 Let's move on to our main story, 292 00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:10,113 which is once again about the coronavirus pandemic. 293 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:13,383 And I know it seems like we talk about COVID every single day, 294 00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:16,253 but, don't worry, this is a new variant. 295 00:11:16,353 --> 00:11:18,655 One thing everyone agrees on is that, sooner or later, 296 00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:22,425 kids need to be back in school. 297 00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:26,229 Because Zoom classes are a nightmare. 298 00:11:26,329 --> 00:11:29,399 And they were especially hard for the teachers 299 00:11:29,499 --> 00:11:31,167 at that Euphoria high school. 300 00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:33,770 "Will everyone please turn on your cameras? 301 00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,239 "Everyone turn-- Wait, wait, is that a penis? 302 00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:37,941 Is that-- Turn it off! Turn it off!" 303 00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,709 Now, unfortunately, 304 00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:42,646 schools have to contend with COVID, 305 00:11:42,746 --> 00:11:45,949 which also likes everyone being inside classrooms. 306 00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:49,853 So how are schools dealing with in-person classes 307 00:11:49,953 --> 00:11:51,521 during a pandemic? 308 00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:53,423 Well, let's find out in another installment 309 00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:55,792 of Getting Back to Normal-ish. 310 00:11:55,892 --> 00:11:57,928 ♪ ♪ 311 00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:05,602 If there's one thing we've learned about COVID 312 00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:09,506 is that it spreads most when people are crowded indoors. 313 00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:12,442 And if there's one thing that schools are about, 314 00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:15,845 it's crowding people into tight spaces-- 315 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,847 classrooms, hallways, 316 00:12:17,948 --> 00:12:19,282 lockers. 317 00:12:19,382 --> 00:12:21,184 So, as you can imagine, this has caused a lot of problems 318 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:22,185 for students. 319 00:12:22,285 --> 00:12:23,587 Since Omicron started, 320 00:12:23,687 --> 00:12:26,456 countless kids around the country have gotten infected 321 00:12:26,556 --> 00:12:28,325 or they've had to isolate 322 00:12:28,425 --> 00:12:31,995 because some kid in their class got infected. 323 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:34,397 And when you think about it, it's disorienting 324 00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:36,733 not to know what each day is gonna bring. 325 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:39,169 Are they gonna be in class? Are they gonna be home? 326 00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:41,037 Is the bullying gonna be in person or cyber? 327 00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:43,240 You need to plan. 328 00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:44,574 It's been chaos for students, 329 00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:46,443 which is why some schools have decided 330 00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:48,511 to do away with the indoor part 331 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:51,214 of indoor learning altogether. 332 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,917 The pandemic has many parents and school districts 333 00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:57,254 still struggling with remote versus in-person learning. 334 00:12:57,354 --> 00:12:59,656 But some schools are finding a compromise 335 00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:01,091 in the great outdoors. 336 00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:02,792 NEWSWOMAN: Despite frigid temperatures 337 00:13:02,893 --> 00:13:04,794 in Wisconsin and Maine, 338 00:13:04,895 --> 00:13:07,731 these schools moved some classes outside 339 00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:09,499 to help prevent the spread. 340 00:13:09,599 --> 00:13:12,102 NEWSMAN: 17 schools in Portland, Maine, 341 00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,737 built outdoor learning spaces. 342 00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,206 Plenty of winter gear and Wi-Fi. 343 00:13:16,306 --> 00:13:18,775 With wind chill, it's minus-seven. 344 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,111 CHILD: Try not to burn your mittens. 345 00:13:21,144 --> 00:13:23,780 Yeah, that's right, COVID. You're not gonna get these kids. 346 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,315 'Cause they're gonna freeze to death first. 347 00:13:25,415 --> 00:13:26,650 Ha-ha. Checkmate. 348 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,752 And look, I know those classrooms might be colder 349 00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:30,420 than the middle of Trader Joe's burrito, 350 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,291 but there are probably a lot of benefits for the students. Yeah. 351 00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:35,992 Younger kids get to play in the snow, 352 00:13:36,126 --> 00:13:38,762 and high schoolers-- well, they don't have to worry 353 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:40,430 about spontaneous erections anymore. 354 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,032 Everybody wins. 355 00:13:42,132 --> 00:13:44,668 Not to mention, these kids will be the first generation 356 00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:46,836 that can outflex their grandparents 357 00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:48,405 about how hard they had it. 358 00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:53,376 I used to walk ten miles in the snow just to get to school! 359 00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:55,812 Bitch, the snow was my school! 360 00:13:55,912 --> 00:13:58,715 But if kids are stressed out by everything that's going on, 361 00:13:58,815 --> 00:14:00,750 it's also hard on the teachers. 362 00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,486 A lot of them are staying home because they're either worried 363 00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:06,489 about getting COVID, or they already have it, 364 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:09,960 which is why there's a big teacher shortage right now 365 00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:12,095 all across the country, and that's a problem, 366 00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:14,598 because without teachers, you don't have a school. 367 00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:17,100 I mean, now it's just juvie. 368 00:14:17,133 --> 00:14:18,969 So schools around the country are trying 369 00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:22,505 to solve their staffing problems with whoever they can find. 370 00:14:22,606 --> 00:14:23,840 NEWSWOMAN: As Omicron surges on, 371 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,875 teachers are calling out with COVID, 372 00:14:25,976 --> 00:14:29,179 leading to a potential crisis across the nation's schools. 373 00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:31,281 NEWSWOMAN 2: With record numbers calling in sick, 374 00:14:31,381 --> 00:14:34,150 thousands of schools have been forced to close. 375 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:37,120 Schools scrambling to keep kids in the classroom, 376 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,956 forced to come up with creative solutions. 377 00:14:40,123 --> 00:14:42,926 NEWSMAN: In Miami, a staggering 1,700 teachers 378 00:14:43,026 --> 00:14:45,762 called in sick today. It was all hands on deck. 379 00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:48,498 Even the district superintendent filled in 380 00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,200 as a substitute science teacher. 381 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,502 In Michigan, lunch ladies 382 00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:54,304 and school bus drivers are stepping in 383 00:14:54,404 --> 00:14:55,705 to supervise classes. 384 00:14:55,805 --> 00:14:57,674 NEWSWOMAN 3: School districts facing teacher shortages 385 00:14:57,774 --> 00:15:02,078 are asking parents and alum to fill in as substitutes. 386 00:15:02,112 --> 00:15:04,848 NEWSMAN 2: Hundreds of parents in Palo Alto, California 387 00:15:04,948 --> 00:15:06,816 are volunteering at schools, 388 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:10,186 doing anything from light custodial work to food services. 389 00:15:10,287 --> 00:15:12,923 WOMAN: I've cleaned tables, I've swept floors. 390 00:15:13,089 --> 00:15:14,958 NEWSMAN 3: In New Mexico, the governor now calling 391 00:15:15,091 --> 00:15:17,494 on the National Guard to teach kids. 392 00:15:17,594 --> 00:15:19,663 In Oklahoma, off-duty police officers 393 00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:21,565 are now stepping in to teach. 394 00:15:21,665 --> 00:15:26,102 Wow. They're using cops as substitute teachers? 395 00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:28,338 I mean, that's one way 396 00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:30,941 to get the Black kids raising their hands in class. 397 00:15:31,107 --> 00:15:32,776 Uh, Kevin, did you... did you have a question? 398 00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:34,544 Nah, sir. I just don't want any trouble. 399 00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,680 It would actually be pretty funny 400 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,649 if the teachers and cops switched jobs permanently. 401 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,284 Because you got to admit, it would be so nice 402 00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:43,853 to get pulled over by a teacher for a change. 403 00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,155 Because they'd just be like, 404 00:15:45,255 --> 00:15:46,723 "Sir, do you know how fast you were going? 405 00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:49,492 "Because, you see, you left Tulsa at 3:08 p.m. 406 00:15:49,593 --> 00:15:52,896 and arrived here two hours later, which means?" 407 00:15:52,996 --> 00:15:54,698 I'm not hating, though. I'm not hating. I think it's great 408 00:15:54,798 --> 00:15:56,700 that people from the community are stepping up. 409 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,702 But let's not forget, there's no way 410 00:15:58,802 --> 00:16:02,172 to replace a professional substitute teacher. 411 00:16:02,272 --> 00:16:05,408 Yeah, you think anyone can just show up, pass out a worksheet 412 00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:06,843 and then get roasted for eight hours 413 00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:07,978 by a bunch of 11-year-olds? 414 00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:10,513 No, that is an art form. 415 00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,883 So a lot of these pandemic policies have been hard 416 00:16:12,983 --> 00:16:14,184 on students and teachers. 417 00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:16,620 But the people making the policies 418 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,822 aren't getting off easy. 419 00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:21,091 And I'm talking about the local school boards. 420 00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:23,560 Yeah, they're stuck in the middle between parents 421 00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:25,362 who are terrified of their kids' safety, 422 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,731 and parents who are terrified 423 00:16:27,831 --> 00:16:30,867 that the masks their kids wear will turn their kids 424 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,769 into tiny little Faucis. 425 00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:36,106 I'm home from school, Mom, and all the data supports me 426 00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:38,975 getting some mac and cheese right now. 427 00:16:39,109 --> 00:16:41,311 Follow the science, Mommy! 428 00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:43,813 So, school boards are in a tough spot, 429 00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:47,617 and, uh, not every parent is showing their appreciation. 430 00:16:47,717 --> 00:16:49,653 NEWSWOMAN: This school board meeting in Virginia 431 00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,888 taking a wild turn Thursday 432 00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:55,025 as a Page County parent was arrested and released 433 00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:58,995 on a $5,000 bond after she was captured on tape threatening 434 00:16:59,129 --> 00:17:01,431 to bring guns to her children's school 435 00:17:01,531 --> 00:17:04,267 if the district continued to enforce their mask mandate. 436 00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,770 My children will not come to school 437 00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:09,806 on Monday with a mask on, all right? 438 00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,408 That's not happening. 439 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:16,446 And I will bring every single gun loaded 440 00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:19,683 and ready to... I-I will call every... 441 00:17:19,783 --> 00:17:20,984 Okay, that's three minutes. 442 00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:24,521 You've gone past your time. It's a policy. 443 00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:26,723 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm. 444 00:17:28,158 --> 00:17:30,493 I'll see y'all on Monday. 445 00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:35,899 So you don't want to hear the end of the threat? 446 00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:37,901 I mean, I know there's a time policy, 447 00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,703 but if someone's threatening to kill me, 448 00:17:39,803 --> 00:17:44,441 I want to hear what they have to say so I know how to escape. 449 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,543 I mean, this does show you 450 00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:49,346 how often school boards get death threats screamed at them. 451 00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:50,881 Did you see how calm those people were? 452 00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:53,950 This woman is talking about bringing every loaded gun 453 00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:56,419 to school, and they're like, "Time is up. Thank you." 454 00:17:56,519 --> 00:17:58,321 (laughter) 455 00:17:58,421 --> 00:17:59,890 "The next speaker is Jennifer Higgins 456 00:18:00,056 --> 00:18:01,958 "who has a proposal for burning down our houses. 457 00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,693 "Go ahead, Jennifer, and please remember, 458 00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:05,262 keep it to three minutes." 459 00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:08,198 For more on the disruption that Omicron is causing 460 00:18:08,298 --> 00:18:11,067 with schools, let's go out now to Roy Wood, Jr. 461 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:15,071 who is standing outside a random school. 462 00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:17,641 Do I have to be out here, Trevor? 463 00:18:17,741 --> 00:18:19,075 It's cold as hell. 464 00:18:19,109 --> 00:18:21,411 I could just talk to you in the studio. 465 00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:22,812 I'm sorry, Roy. That's not possible. 466 00:18:22,913 --> 00:18:24,381 This is how the news is. 467 00:18:24,481 --> 00:18:26,216 You see, we're talking about a school, 468 00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:28,418 so you have to be at a school. 469 00:18:28,518 --> 00:18:31,688 Otherwise, how will the people trust what a school is? 470 00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:33,290 Anyway, let's talk about all the chaos 471 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:34,658 in schools right now, Roy. 472 00:18:34,758 --> 00:18:37,994 It almost feels like we're back in 2020, right? 473 00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:40,096 It sure as shit does. 474 00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:43,300 I'm so fed up with Omicron, man. It's ruining everything. 475 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,502 It's ruining things for students, for teachers, 476 00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:48,104 parents, everybody, not to mention 477 00:18:48,204 --> 00:18:50,206 all the money I'm losing on these shirts 478 00:18:50,307 --> 00:18:52,175 I printed up a couple of months ago. 479 00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:54,644 Look at this, man! 480 00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:56,947 I hadn't sold a single one of these! 481 00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:59,616 Damn Omicron. You don't know the overhead on that. 482 00:18:59,716 --> 00:19:01,718 Really gives you a new appreciation 483 00:19:01,818 --> 00:19:04,654 for all those chill viruses we have out there. 484 00:19:04,754 --> 00:19:06,256 Yeah, that's so... Wait. I'm sorry. 485 00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,658 Did you say "chill viruses"? 486 00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:12,128 I-I don't think there's such a thing as a chill virus, Roy. 487 00:19:12,229 --> 00:19:14,497 No, I think that's where you're wrong, Trevor. 488 00:19:14,598 --> 00:19:16,266 There are plenty of viruses out there 489 00:19:16,366 --> 00:19:18,068 just keeping to themselves, 490 00:19:18,168 --> 00:19:19,603 not stirring up trouble all the time, 491 00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:21,638 like, uh, hepatitis A. 492 00:19:21,738 --> 00:19:23,206 I'm sorry, Roy. 493 00:19:23,306 --> 00:19:25,842 Are you saying that hepatitis A is a chill virus? 494 00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:29,312 Yeah, totally chill virus, Trevor. Calm as hell. 495 00:19:29,412 --> 00:19:30,647 Nobody's getting hepatitis A 496 00:19:30,747 --> 00:19:32,382 just standing in line at Walmart. 497 00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:35,085 Only way you're getting it is if you go out to eat 498 00:19:35,118 --> 00:19:37,921 and the cook don't wash his hands after wiping his ass. 499 00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:40,290 You don't have to worry about masks or booster shots 500 00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:41,658 with hepatitis A. 501 00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,160 Just don't order a sloppy joe at a truck stop, 502 00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:45,662 and you're good. 503 00:19:45,762 --> 00:19:47,831 Well, Roy, I wasn't planning on it, but... 504 00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,566 yeah, I see what you're saying, you know? 505 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,967 Like, maybe we should give credit 506 00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,202 to all those viruses out there 507 00:19:52,302 --> 00:19:54,104 that are less annoying day to day. 508 00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:57,140 Like... like, what's that virus that causes mono? 509 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,110 Oh. You're talking about my boy. 510 00:20:00,076 --> 00:20:01,678 Epstein-Barr. 511 00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:04,748 Or also known as the "kissing disease." 512 00:20:04,848 --> 00:20:06,550 Now, you may not know this, Trevor, 513 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:09,352 but you know why they call it the kissing disease? 514 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,922 'Cause you get it from kissing. 515 00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:14,424 It's one of the few diseases where the diagnosis 516 00:20:14,524 --> 00:20:16,159 comes with a high five. 517 00:20:16,259 --> 00:20:17,294 That's so true, Roy. 518 00:20:17,394 --> 00:20:18,595 You know, the doctor's just like: 519 00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,130 I got good news and bad news. 520 00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:21,631 The bad news is: you got mono. 521 00:20:21,731 --> 00:20:23,867 The good news is: my man! 522 00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:26,069 -(chuckling) -Hell yeah. 523 00:20:26,169 --> 00:20:28,138 By the way, did you know that Epstein-Barr 524 00:20:28,238 --> 00:20:30,006 is named after Jeffrey Epstein 525 00:20:30,106 --> 00:20:33,109 and former attorney general Bill Barr? 526 00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:35,445 It was their first collab before Barr killed Epstein 527 00:20:35,545 --> 00:20:36,613 in a jail cell. 528 00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,481 I did not know that, Roy. 529 00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:40,750 Yeah, well, now you do. I don't preach, I teach. 530 00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,720 And here's one other virus that I've never really appreciated 531 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,455 until corona came along: 532 00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:46,856 herpes. 533 00:20:46,957 --> 00:20:48,692 Huh. I-I don't know, man. 534 00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:52,262 I don't think I'm ready to throw my support behind herpes. 535 00:20:52,362 --> 00:20:54,397 Well, you should be. Did you know, Trevor, 536 00:20:54,497 --> 00:20:57,467 200 million people in this country have herpes, 537 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,436 but it's such a chill virus 538 00:20:59,536 --> 00:21:02,339 that most people don't even realize they have it. 539 00:21:02,439 --> 00:21:04,941 It's just like Cinemax, sitting up there at channel 637, 540 00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:06,910 just minding its own business. 541 00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:09,145 Hell, I'll bet you have herpes. 542 00:21:09,246 --> 00:21:11,481 (chuckles) No, I don't... I don't have herpes. 543 00:21:11,581 --> 00:21:14,317 -I do not, Roy. -Statistically, you probably do. 544 00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:16,953 I don't... I'm sure that I don't, Roy. 545 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,723 -Thank you so much. -Yeah, look, it doesn't matter 546 00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:21,391 if or how you got herpes, man. 547 00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:23,727 The point is, I want to take a moment 548 00:21:23,827 --> 00:21:26,796 to apologize to all the chill viruses out there. 549 00:21:26,897 --> 00:21:29,766 We took you for granted before, but no longer. 550 00:21:29,866 --> 00:21:32,969 We appreciate you and all you do for us. 551 00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:36,806 From hep A all the way to Trevor Noah's herpes, thank you. 552 00:21:36,907 --> 00:21:38,708 I... I do not... I do not have herpes. 553 00:21:38,808 --> 00:21:40,544 -Thank you so much, Roy. -Thank you, hep. 554 00:21:40,644 --> 00:21:42,212 -Cut it. Let's just cut his feed. -Thank you, herpes. 555 00:21:42,312 --> 00:21:43,647 All right, ignore that. We're gonna take a quick break, 556 00:21:43,747 --> 00:21:45,916 and when we come back, Ronny Chieng will explain 557 00:21:46,016 --> 00:21:48,218 why American football makes no sense. 558 00:21:48,318 --> 00:21:49,753 You don't want to miss it. 559 00:21:49,853 --> 00:21:51,354 We can cut out all the herpes stuff, right? 560 00:21:51,454 --> 00:21:53,023 We can just cut out the herpe... 561 00:21:53,156 --> 00:21:54,524 What do you mean we're live? 562 00:21:54,624 --> 00:21:55,892 (stammers) 563 00:21:55,992 --> 00:21:57,427 We're just gonna have herpes... my herpes is on T... 564 00:21:57,527 --> 00:21:59,162 No, I don't have herpes. I'm just saying 565 00:21:59,229 --> 00:22:00,897 the thing he said about my herpes on TV now. 566 00:22:00,997 --> 00:22:03,833 It's confirmed. He has it. Yes. 567 00:22:03,934 --> 00:22:06,102 Yes, he does. Okay. Just making sure. 568 00:22:09,481 --> 00:22:10,615 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 569 00:22:10,715 --> 00:22:12,617 If you spent your whole life in America, 570 00:22:12,717 --> 00:22:15,720 you might not know what other countries 571 00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:18,123 think about this great country. 572 00:22:18,223 --> 00:22:21,026 Well, luckily, Ronny Chieng is happy to tell you 573 00:22:21,126 --> 00:22:24,796 in his new segment, America WTF. 574 00:22:24,896 --> 00:22:26,698 As someone who's lived all over the world, 575 00:22:26,798 --> 00:22:29,634 it's my responsibility to let Americans know 576 00:22:29,734 --> 00:22:32,270 the rest of us think a lot of what you guys do 577 00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,938 is super weird. 578 00:22:34,039 --> 00:22:36,074 ♪ ♪ 579 00:22:42,981 --> 00:22:44,949 -For example... -(whistle blows) 580 00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:46,418 -(crowd cheering) -American football, 581 00:22:46,518 --> 00:22:48,586 which you guys think of as the most normal thing ever. 582 00:22:48,687 --> 00:22:52,524 Let me assure you everything about it is crazy. 583 00:22:52,624 --> 00:22:55,060 Before the game even starts, everyone has to stand up 584 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,395 and sing the national anthem together? 585 00:22:57,495 --> 00:22:59,898 Nobody else on the planet does that. 586 00:22:59,998 --> 00:23:02,067 We just assume everyone knows what country they're in 587 00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:03,935 before the game starts. 588 00:23:04,035 --> 00:23:05,370 And then there's the game itself. 589 00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:08,573 First of all, the teams all have, like, 300 people. 590 00:23:08,673 --> 00:23:11,476 That's not a sport. That's an army. 591 00:23:11,576 --> 00:23:13,144 That's so many people that everyone has 592 00:23:13,244 --> 00:23:15,046 their own special, little job to do. 593 00:23:15,146 --> 00:23:18,216 Like, one guy throws the ball. One guy kicks the ball. 594 00:23:18,316 --> 00:23:19,584 -MAN: And hut! -One guy throws the ball 595 00:23:19,684 --> 00:23:21,386 to the guy who throws the ball. 596 00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:23,388 And speaking of the ball, 597 00:23:23,488 --> 00:23:25,824 this is isn't normal, either, okay? 598 00:23:25,924 --> 00:23:28,593 Balls are supposed to be round. 599 00:23:28,693 --> 00:23:31,496 That's the main thing that makes it a ball. 600 00:23:31,596 --> 00:23:33,198 But in this insane sport, 601 00:23:33,298 --> 00:23:36,334 even the ball looks like it has brain damage. 602 00:23:36,434 --> 00:23:38,970 And what's with the scoring? Six points for a touchdown. 603 00:23:39,070 --> 00:23:41,673 One point for the kick after you make it, 604 00:23:41,773 --> 00:23:44,609 but if you make the same kick before you scored, 605 00:23:44,676 --> 00:23:46,611 it would have been three points. 606 00:23:46,644 --> 00:23:49,014 And you can also score a touchdown again 607 00:23:49,114 --> 00:23:50,415 after the touchdown, 608 00:23:50,515 --> 00:23:52,283 but this time, it's only worth two points. 609 00:23:52,384 --> 00:23:53,852 Who came up with this shit? 610 00:23:53,952 --> 00:23:57,455 If you ask me, a touchdown should be worth 100 points. 611 00:23:57,622 --> 00:23:59,290 The player deserves it. 612 00:23:59,391 --> 00:24:00,959 He basically dodged a mugging 613 00:24:01,059 --> 00:24:03,128 with a slippery almond in his hand. 614 00:24:03,228 --> 00:24:05,230 And 100 points would be way easier to keep up with 615 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:06,498 than all these other numbers. 616 00:24:06,631 --> 00:24:08,700 How do you people get drunk at these games 617 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,770 and still follow along without a spreadsheet? 618 00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:13,004 And speaking of drinking, 619 00:24:13,104 --> 00:24:15,940 you guys realize how weird tailgating is, right? 620 00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:17,642 Like, I don't care how you want to brand it-- 621 00:24:17,742 --> 00:24:20,979 getting drunk in a parking lot isn't a family activity. 622 00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:22,981 It's a sign to get your life together. 623 00:24:23,081 --> 00:24:24,315 I feel like the whole thing started 624 00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:26,451 because a bunch of pickup trucks broke down 625 00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:28,119 in a stadium parking lot 626 00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:29,788 and they just tried to play it off, like, 627 00:24:29,888 --> 00:24:31,790 "Uh, oh, no, no, no, we meant to park here 628 00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:33,458 for five hours before the game." 629 00:24:33,591 --> 00:24:35,026 But if you're tailgating at a game, 630 00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:37,595 better not be too young. Because don't forget 631 00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:40,198 about America's super weird drinking age. 632 00:24:40,298 --> 00:24:42,467 You got to be 21 to drink in this country? 633 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,768 That doesn't make sense. 634 00:24:43,868 --> 00:24:45,503 Okay, I guess they're trying to keep college kids 635 00:24:45,603 --> 00:24:47,505 from becoming alcoholics or something, 636 00:24:47,605 --> 00:24:51,009 but I'm pretty sure that experiment has failed. 637 00:24:51,109 --> 00:24:53,178 College dorms are so soaked in booze 638 00:24:53,278 --> 00:24:56,214 that if you lit a match, the whole building would explode. 639 00:24:56,314 --> 00:24:57,682 So maybe you're not going to a game. 640 00:24:57,782 --> 00:24:59,651 Maybe you're watching at home instead. 641 00:24:59,751 --> 00:25:02,620 In which case, you'll probably see about 50 TV ads 642 00:25:02,721 --> 00:25:03,955 for prescription drugs, 643 00:25:04,055 --> 00:25:05,523 which I know you think is normal 644 00:25:05,623 --> 00:25:08,159 but, trust me, you're the only ones. 645 00:25:08,259 --> 00:25:10,595 There's a reason this doesn't happen in other countries. 646 00:25:10,695 --> 00:25:12,964 Most of the people watching TV aren't doctors, 647 00:25:13,064 --> 00:25:15,367 so there's no reason to market to them directly, 648 00:25:15,467 --> 00:25:17,068 especially the way they do it. 649 00:25:17,168 --> 00:25:18,803 They always ask you questions like... 650 00:25:18,903 --> 00:25:21,106 -(yawning) -"Hey, are you drowsy or sad 651 00:25:21,206 --> 00:25:23,575 -or achy or farting?" -(fart sound) 652 00:25:23,675 --> 00:25:25,343 Yes! I'm all those things right now 653 00:25:25,443 --> 00:25:27,412 because I'm a (bleep) person. 654 00:25:27,579 --> 00:25:30,281 If someone needs a drug, their doctor will prescribe it. 655 00:25:30,382 --> 00:25:32,784 You shouldn't have to ask them if it's right for you. 656 00:25:32,884 --> 00:25:35,186 This doesn't happen in any other part of medical care. 657 00:25:35,286 --> 00:25:38,023 Okay? There's no TV ads asking you to ask your doctor 658 00:25:38,123 --> 00:25:40,592 whether they should cup your balls and make you cough. 659 00:25:40,692 --> 00:25:43,762 Your pervert doctor will do that on their own. 660 00:25:43,862 --> 00:25:46,131 Look, do your thing, America. 661 00:25:46,231 --> 00:25:48,800 Okay? Just know that, whenever you're ready, 662 00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:51,469 you're more than welcome to join the rest of the world 663 00:25:51,603 --> 00:25:53,471 and start following soccer, 664 00:25:53,605 --> 00:25:55,807 a sport where the ball is round, 665 00:25:55,907 --> 00:25:57,342 the scoring is simple 666 00:25:57,442 --> 00:25:59,778 and the only thing fans are doing in a parking lot 667 00:25:59,878 --> 00:26:01,980 is fighting each other to the death, 668 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,282 like God intended. 669 00:26:04,382 --> 00:26:06,418 ♪ ♪ 670 00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:09,387 Thank you so much for that, Ronny. 671 00:26:09,554 --> 00:26:10,555 All right, when we come back, 672 00:26:10,622 --> 00:26:12,257 Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn 673 00:26:12,357 --> 00:26:14,025 will be joining me right here on the show. 674 00:26:14,125 --> 00:26:15,326 So don't go away. 675 00:26:17,236 --> 00:26:18,337 Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight 676 00:26:18,437 --> 00:26:21,139 is Olympic gold medalist and the most decorated 677 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,476 female skier of all time, Lindsey Vonn. 678 00:26:24,576 --> 00:26:26,278 She's here to talk about her new memoir, 679 00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:28,313 about her record-breaking skiing career 680 00:26:28,413 --> 00:26:31,216 and her new journey as an entrepreneur. 681 00:26:31,316 --> 00:26:33,051 Lindsey Vonn, welcome to The Daily Show. 682 00:26:33,151 --> 00:26:34,186 Hey, thanks for having me. 683 00:26:34,286 --> 00:26:36,855 Um, I-I've known you for a few years, 684 00:26:36,955 --> 00:26:38,724 so I knew some of the stories in this book, 685 00:26:38,824 --> 00:26:43,061 but, like, I didn't know how much of a-- 686 00:26:43,161 --> 00:26:45,163 -let me choose my words carefully... -(chuckles) 687 00:26:45,264 --> 00:26:47,165 -...crazy person you were. -(laughing) 688 00:26:47,266 --> 00:26:48,634 -Um... -I was expecting something like this. 689 00:26:48,734 --> 00:26:50,002 No, no, no! You know why? I'll tell you why. 690 00:26:50,102 --> 00:26:51,537 I'll tell you why. Because, like, I struggle to plan 691 00:26:51,637 --> 00:26:53,472 -what I'm going to do next week in life. -(laughs) 692 00:26:53,572 --> 00:26:57,276 You had a ten-year plan to make it to the Olympics, 693 00:26:57,376 --> 00:26:59,278 and this is a plan as a nine-year-old, I have to add, 694 00:26:59,378 --> 00:27:00,812 -on top of that. So, at nine-years-old, -(laughter) 695 00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:04,383 you're like, "I want to go to the Olympics in ten years." 696 00:27:04,483 --> 00:27:07,085 Yeah. I mean, my dad definitely helped me with the planning. 697 00:27:07,186 --> 00:27:10,155 Um... but we had-- Yeah. I met Picabo Street, my idol, 698 00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:11,657 -when I was nine. Came home, -Yes. 699 00:27:11,757 --> 00:27:14,059 and I was like, "This is it, this is what I want to do." 700 00:27:14,159 --> 00:27:15,894 And I was like, "Okay, let's make a plan." 701 00:27:16,061 --> 00:27:17,196 We printed out calendars, 702 00:27:17,296 --> 00:27:18,964 we had highlighters, it was, like, a whole thing. 703 00:27:19,064 --> 00:27:20,332 What are you planning in that ten years? 704 00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,067 -I'm... (laughs) Thank you. -No, I mean, I know 705 00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:23,602 you're the greatest, but what takes ten years? 706 00:27:23,702 --> 00:27:25,537 -I need to understand what takes... -So, when you're nine, 707 00:27:25,637 --> 00:27:27,873 -you have to, like, build up a point profile. -Okay. 708 00:27:27,973 --> 00:27:29,908 You know, certain requirements that you have to make 709 00:27:30,075 --> 00:27:31,777 in order to kind of make the progression 710 00:27:31,877 --> 00:27:35,347 to even get to the U.S. Ski Team and then to the Olympics. 711 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:38,417 So... And my dad was a racer when he was growing up. 712 00:27:38,517 --> 00:27:39,852 -NOAH: Right, right, right. -VONN: He was a junior racer, 713 00:27:39,952 --> 00:27:41,987 so he knew kind of all the levels that I needed to get. 714 00:27:42,087 --> 00:27:44,089 And, you know, obviously, 715 00:27:44,189 --> 00:27:46,325 I had to start expanding my repertoire 716 00:27:46,425 --> 00:27:47,759 'cause I was from Minnesota. 717 00:27:47,860 --> 00:27:50,829 So, 300 vertical feet is not a place 718 00:27:50,929 --> 00:27:52,531 -where you learn downhill skiing. -(laughs) 719 00:27:52,631 --> 00:27:53,932 So we had to move to Colorado 720 00:27:54,099 --> 00:27:55,434 -when I was 12, so it was like... -Got it. 721 00:27:55,534 --> 00:27:56,969 -You know, the ten-year plan was extensive. -Okay. Okay. 722 00:27:57,102 --> 00:27:59,171 I understand. I mean, you... Yeah, Minnesota 723 00:27:59,271 --> 00:28:00,806 might not have been great for your repertoire, 724 00:28:00,906 --> 00:28:02,341 but it was great for preparing you 725 00:28:02,441 --> 00:28:04,510 for, uh, the doldrums of the cold. 726 00:28:04,610 --> 00:28:06,545 -Do you even feel cold anymore? -(laughs) I hate the cold. 727 00:28:06,645 --> 00:28:08,347 Like, everyone is dying here in New York. 728 00:28:08,447 --> 00:28:10,148 Everyone's freezing. And then today when you came in, 729 00:28:10,249 --> 00:28:12,117 I was like, "Oh, she's just gonna come in, like, a tank top 730 00:28:12,217 --> 00:28:13,552 "and be like, 'Oh, a summer day, everybody. 731 00:28:13,652 --> 00:28:14,987 -How you doing?'" -I hate the cold. 732 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,321 -I hate it. -You're like the Bane of the cold. 733 00:28:16,421 --> 00:28:18,690 -"Ah, Batman." Like, that's you. -(laughs) 734 00:28:18,790 --> 00:28:20,626 -Bane of the cold. -You are the Bane of the cold. 735 00:28:20,726 --> 00:28:23,228 I mean, why do you think I ski fast? 736 00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:25,097 -To get out of the cold? -I... Exactly. 737 00:28:25,197 --> 00:28:26,798 -(laughs) -Literally. 738 00:28:26,899 --> 00:28:29,067 I make it to the bottom as fast I can, 739 00:28:29,167 --> 00:28:31,136 -I put my clothes back on. -Okay. 740 00:28:31,236 --> 00:28:33,138 -This makes a lot of sense. Yeah. -Makes a lot of sense now. 741 00:28:33,238 --> 00:28:34,706 -Yeah. -I also didn't know, and this was really cool 742 00:28:34,806 --> 00:28:35,841 to read in the book. 743 00:28:35,941 --> 00:28:37,476 Y-You're an interesting human being 744 00:28:37,576 --> 00:28:39,711 in that you-you talk about how... 745 00:28:39,811 --> 00:28:42,648 like, how hard life was for you in some instances. 746 00:28:42,748 --> 00:28:44,116 Athletes used to be told, "Hey, don't... 747 00:28:44,216 --> 00:28:45,350 -Don't tell people you're depressed." -Yeah. 748 00:28:45,450 --> 00:28:47,085 "You'll lose everything. Endorsements. 749 00:28:47,186 --> 00:28:48,654 Don't. People don't want you on a team." 750 00:28:48,754 --> 00:28:50,255 You came out and said, "Hey, I'm struggling with depression, 751 00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:51,790 and this is what I'm doing about it." 752 00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:53,125 But what was interesting to me 753 00:28:53,225 --> 00:28:54,693 is the fact that you-you don't... 754 00:28:54,793 --> 00:28:57,396 You don't seem to have fear when it comes to the slopes, though. 755 00:28:57,496 --> 00:29:00,132 Like, life is this scary thing, 756 00:29:00,232 --> 00:29:01,934 and then you're going down a hill 757 00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:03,502 at I don't know how many miles an hour. 758 00:29:03,602 --> 00:29:06,505 -85, roughly. -85 miles an hour. 759 00:29:06,605 --> 00:29:09,441 -85 miles. Not kilometers. -Miles, right. Correct. 760 00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:11,176 Miles per hour. 761 00:29:11,276 --> 00:29:13,245 -And there's no fear. -No. 762 00:29:13,345 --> 00:29:15,714 I mean, the skiing is, like, the most, uh, 763 00:29:15,814 --> 00:29:18,183 simple thing in my life. The easiest thing. 764 00:29:18,283 --> 00:29:20,052 Everything else was hard. 765 00:29:20,085 --> 00:29:22,054 -And skiing was like my sanctuary. -How many... 766 00:29:22,087 --> 00:29:24,056 how many times have you crashed? 767 00:29:24,089 --> 00:29:27,059 I mean, we don't have enough, you know, hours in the show 768 00:29:27,125 --> 00:29:29,528 -to talk about all the crashes. -After the first crash, no fear? 769 00:29:29,628 --> 00:29:31,864 No. It's just-- That's part of the job. You know? 770 00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:34,266 Like, that's-that's the risk factor in skiing, 771 00:29:34,366 --> 00:29:36,535 and that's honestly one of the things that makes it exciting. 772 00:29:36,635 --> 00:29:38,337 -Right. -You know? It wouldn't-wouldn't be exciting 773 00:29:38,437 --> 00:29:41,173 if, every time you fell, you fell into a pile of pillows. 774 00:29:41,273 --> 00:29:43,308 Well, that's what I thought it was. I wanted to go skiing. 775 00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,277 I've-- I don't know how to ski, and I always wanted to learn 776 00:29:45,377 --> 00:29:46,778 -how to ski. And then... -Okay, it's done. We're doing it. 777 00:29:46,879 --> 00:29:49,081 And then-- No. And then I saw all of your injuries. 778 00:29:49,147 --> 00:29:50,782 Then I was like-- I thought the whole point of skiing 779 00:29:50,883 --> 00:29:52,784 is that you fall into, like, clouds 780 00:29:52,885 --> 00:29:53,852 and then you don't get hurt and then... 781 00:29:53,952 --> 00:29:55,387 Snow is not as soft as it may appear. 782 00:29:55,487 --> 00:29:56,922 -Yeah, you see? That's ridiculous. -No, it's not. 783 00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:59,858 -Ice is hard. Yes. -That's like a... (laughing) 784 00:29:59,958 --> 00:30:03,161 Um, Lindsey Vonn has gone on to inspire so many people. 785 00:30:03,262 --> 00:30:05,564 You know? Uh, you-you're mentoring, 786 00:30:05,664 --> 00:30:07,566 you know, some of the skiers, some of the athletes 787 00:30:07,666 --> 00:30:09,935 who are going to-to the, um... to the Winter Olympics. 788 00:30:10,102 --> 00:30:12,337 You're gonna be commentating on that. 789 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,107 When you-- when you're watching, um, the Olympics, 790 00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:17,075 do you have favorites? Do you have sports that you love? 791 00:30:17,176 --> 00:30:19,077 Is it always gonna be skiing or are there some winter, 792 00:30:19,178 --> 00:30:20,746 like, sports where you're like, "Nah, this is, like, 793 00:30:20,846 --> 00:30:22,281 "my secret passion. Like, curling is my shit. 794 00:30:22,381 --> 00:30:24,383 -That's how I roll"? -I mean, I'm from Minnesota, 795 00:30:24,483 --> 00:30:25,617 so curling should be my shit. 796 00:30:25,717 --> 00:30:27,920 -Okay. -But-but i-it's not. 797 00:30:28,053 --> 00:30:28,921 Sorry. 798 00:30:29,054 --> 00:30:30,656 I love figure skating. 799 00:30:30,756 --> 00:30:31,924 I just think it's really cool. 800 00:30:32,057 --> 00:30:34,259 Like, figure skating and gymnastics are my jam. 801 00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:36,862 But, you know, I always love alpine skiing. 802 00:30:36,962 --> 00:30:38,931 And, of course, I'm gonna be cheering for people that, 803 00:30:39,064 --> 00:30:40,866 you know, I've helped over the last couple years 804 00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:42,267 and throughout my career. 805 00:30:42,367 --> 00:30:45,103 -Um, and, obviously, Team USA. -Right. 806 00:30:45,204 --> 00:30:47,906 Um, but it's also gonna be, you know, hard, 807 00:30:48,073 --> 00:30:50,309 a little bit, to watch, 'cause I'm be miss-- 808 00:30:50,409 --> 00:30:52,344 I-I will miss competing a little bit. 809 00:30:52,444 --> 00:30:54,947 One of the hardest things athletes face 810 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,817 is the fact that their careers are essentially "over" 811 00:30:58,917 --> 00:31:01,653 -when life... sort of begins. -Yeah. 812 00:31:01,753 --> 00:31:03,455 You know? Athletes talk about this all the time, 813 00:31:03,555 --> 00:31:04,957 you know, whether it's, you know, Chris Bosh, 814 00:31:05,090 --> 00:31:06,658 you know, whether it's Dwyane Wade, whether it's yourself. 815 00:31:06,758 --> 00:31:10,462 Everyone goes, "Yeah, I'm-I'm 36 years old, 816 00:31:10,562 --> 00:31:14,166 37 years old and now life is over?" 817 00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:16,702 -How have you dealt with that? -It was a tough transition. 818 00:31:16,802 --> 00:31:19,671 I think the first year was-was really hard. 819 00:31:19,771 --> 00:31:21,573 And even though I had set up business, 820 00:31:21,673 --> 00:31:24,710 and I had so much to do, it didn't take away from the fact 821 00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:27,379 -that, you know, skiing was-was gone. -Right. 822 00:31:27,479 --> 00:31:29,314 VONN: You know, it's something you've done your entire life. 823 00:31:29,414 --> 00:31:31,450 And it's not like a career change where, 824 00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:33,185 you know, you can change your mind and go back to it. 825 00:31:33,285 --> 00:31:34,853 It's like, one day you wake up, 826 00:31:34,953 --> 00:31:37,222 and literally what you love to do is no longer possible. 827 00:31:37,322 --> 00:31:39,391 -Wow. -So it was just... I don't know. 828 00:31:39,491 --> 00:31:41,560 It was a hard moment for me, but I figured it out, 829 00:31:41,660 --> 00:31:44,096 and I found new passions and new ways to challenge myself. 830 00:31:44,196 --> 00:31:46,098 I think that's the most important thing. 831 00:31:46,198 --> 00:31:48,500 You know, athletes are very driven and goal-oriented, 832 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,537 and we just need something to push ourselves towards. 833 00:31:51,637 --> 00:31:53,739 And for me, that's become business, 834 00:31:53,839 --> 00:31:56,175 and, you know, I'm in venture capital a bit now. 835 00:31:56,275 --> 00:31:57,743 So, there's just a lot of things going on, 836 00:31:57,843 --> 00:31:59,745 which, you know, excites me. 837 00:31:59,845 --> 00:32:02,314 -It's not going 85 miles an hour down a mountain. -Right. 838 00:32:02,414 --> 00:32:04,683 But, you know, I will make do with what I have. 839 00:32:04,783 --> 00:32:07,152 Are there any things that you... that you miss, 840 00:32:07,252 --> 00:32:09,454 that you... that you're trying to apply to your life now? 841 00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,490 Like, I didn't know, for instance, 842 00:32:11,590 --> 00:32:14,927 that before you went downhill, you would... you would spit. 843 00:32:15,093 --> 00:32:17,129 I didn't know if I was reading that correctly. 844 00:32:17,229 --> 00:32:18,830 You-you... you were spitting. Yes? 845 00:32:18,931 --> 00:32:20,465 Of all the things to pick out in my book, 846 00:32:20,566 --> 00:32:23,235 you know, we can talk about spitting, but, yeah, I just... 847 00:32:23,335 --> 00:32:25,170 This is the thing to not... Like, I didn't understand this. 848 00:32:25,270 --> 00:32:27,539 Well, I don't know. I think that's just something 849 00:32:27,639 --> 00:32:29,041 that I naturally did, but I guess it, like, 850 00:32:29,141 --> 00:32:30,843 boosts testosterone. I think some athletes do it. 851 00:32:30,943 --> 00:32:32,344 So it's not very, um, ladylike. 852 00:32:32,444 --> 00:32:34,346 So you spit before, like, you do the thing? 853 00:32:34,446 --> 00:32:35,848 Yeah, it's just like a... I don't know. 854 00:32:35,948 --> 00:32:37,816 -It's a... it's a thing. I don't know. -Wow. 855 00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:39,618 Do you do that now before big meetings? 856 00:32:39,718 --> 00:32:41,787 -No. -(laughing) 857 00:32:41,887 --> 00:32:43,255 -No. -It could bring back the thrill. 858 00:32:43,355 --> 00:32:44,590 No, I don't think the boardroom is meant for spitting. 859 00:32:44,690 --> 00:32:46,058 Yeah, you do it outside the boardroom. 860 00:32:46,091 --> 00:32:47,326 -I don't think it's a... Yeah. -Obviously. I mean, 861 00:32:47,426 --> 00:32:48,861 -this is a civilized environment. -Okay. 862 00:32:48,961 --> 00:32:50,195 -Just outside the boardroom, before the boardroom. -Right. 863 00:32:50,295 --> 00:32:51,530 -Giant spit. -Right, just before in the bathroom, 864 00:32:51,630 --> 00:32:53,065 before I go to my meeting, I just get into it. 865 00:32:53,165 --> 00:32:54,499 You know what? Don't knock it before you try it. 866 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,969 I'll just do some Lil Wayne instead, I think. Okay. 867 00:32:57,069 --> 00:32:59,404 Lindsey Vonn, congratulations on writing an amazing book. 868 00:32:59,505 --> 00:33:00,906 It's really fun, it's a really inspiring story. 869 00:33:01,073 --> 00:33:02,975 Um, I think people will really enjoy it, and, uh, 870 00:33:03,075 --> 00:33:04,476 -good luck for the Olympics. -Thank you. 871 00:33:04,576 --> 00:33:06,144 Good luck for the world of venture capital and business. 872 00:33:06,245 --> 00:33:08,180 And, uh, hopefully, we'll see you again on the show. 873 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,815 -Thank you. -All right, people. 874 00:33:09,915 --> 00:33:12,284 Lindsey's memoir, Rise, is available 875 00:33:12,384 --> 00:33:13,785 wherever books are sold. 876 00:33:13,886 --> 00:33:15,087 We're gonna take a quick break, 877 00:33:15,153 --> 00:33:16,755 but we'll be right back after this. 878 00:33:16,855 --> 00:33:18,891 -(imitates spitting) -(laughs) 879 00:33:23,395 --> 00:33:24,864 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 880 00:33:24,964 --> 00:33:26,966 today is Holocaust Remembrance Day, 881 00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:28,467 so please consider supporting 882 00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:30,936 the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. 883 00:33:31,036 --> 00:33:34,206 It's a living memorial that seeks to inspire citizens 884 00:33:34,306 --> 00:33:36,642 and leaders worldwide to confront hatred, 885 00:33:36,742 --> 00:33:39,545 prevent genocide and promote human dignity. 886 00:33:39,645 --> 00:33:42,114 If you would like to help support their programs, 887 00:33:42,214 --> 00:33:44,717 then please donate at the link below. 888 00:33:44,817 --> 00:33:47,486 Until next time, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, 889 00:33:47,586 --> 00:33:50,389 and remember, if you're out in the woods, 890 00:33:50,489 --> 00:33:52,625 and you come across a classroom of students, 891 00:33:52,725 --> 00:33:55,594 that's their home, and they're more scared of you 892 00:33:55,694 --> 00:33:57,296 than you are of them. 893 00:33:57,396 --> 00:34:00,266 Now, here it is-- Your Moment of Zen. 894 00:34:00,366 --> 00:34:02,134 ♪ ♪ 895 00:34:02,234 --> 00:34:04,203 ♪ Do you want to build a snowman? ♪ 896 00:34:04,303 --> 00:34:06,739 What's that saying? Do you want to build a snowman? 897 00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:09,074 Oh, yeah. Do you want to build a snowman? 898 00:34:09,175 --> 00:34:11,577 -♪ Do you want to build a snowman? ♪ -Aw. 899 00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:14,280 Jackie, question for you. Do you want to build a snowman? 900 00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:15,481 NEWSMAN 3: Do you want to build a snowman? 901 00:34:15,581 --> 00:34:16,582 NEWSWOMAN 6: Or an iceman. 902 00:34:16,682 --> 00:34:17,616 Don't put that in my head, Jacob. 903 00:34:17,716 --> 00:34:18,884 Oh, that's going... 904 00:34:18,984 --> 00:34:20,186 ♪ Do you want to build a snowman? ♪ 905 00:34:20,286 --> 00:34:21,253 -I know. -Either that, or the Bruno song. 906 00:34:21,353 --> 00:34:22,488 Which one, you know? 907 00:34:22,588 --> 00:34:24,456 -We don't talk about Bruno. -We don't... 908 00:34:24,557 --> 00:34:25,658 -We don't talk about Bruno. -Let's not talk about Bruno. 909 00:34:25,758 --> 00:34:27,393 We don't talk about Bruno. No, no, no.