1
00:00:01,411 --> 00:00:02,379
It's been a really rough, uh,
I just want to check in on
2
00:00:02,479 --> 00:00:03,847
all of you.
Everybody who works here.
3
00:00:03,947 --> 00:00:06,283
I know this has been a really
rough time this past week.
4
00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:08,151
Um,
5
00:00:08,251 --> 00:00:10,820
a lot of cartoon characters have
been changing their outfits,
6
00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,422
and I just wanted to make
sure you guys are all
7
00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:13,990
feeling safe and secure.
8
00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,792
The M&M's thing rocked people.
9
00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:18,495
Um, now Disney announced that
Minnie is going to be
10
00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:21,464
wearing a pantsuit. People are
losing their shit over this,
11
00:00:21,565 --> 00:00:25,802
because, apparently, they liked
those sexy, sleek legs of hers.
12
00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:27,270
A lot of people don't
know what this means for
13
00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:29,139
the future of the country.
14
00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:31,942
I'm, I'm not going to lie,
I-I-I-I didn't ever think
15
00:00:32,042 --> 00:00:33,476
a country could
be this angry about
16
00:00:33,577 --> 00:00:35,078
cartoon characters...
17
00:00:35,178 --> 00:00:37,380
changing their outfits.
18
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,915
Like, people are angry.
19
00:00:39,015 --> 00:00:42,686
"Minnie Mouse should be
wearing that mini-skirt.
20
00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:43,887
"Okay?
21
00:00:43,987 --> 00:00:45,121
"It's called-- She's called
Minnie Mouse,
22
00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:48,391
"Not-not Pants Mouse, okay?
23
00:00:48,491 --> 00:00:52,829
I want to see that ass! Okay?!"
24
00:00:52,929 --> 00:00:54,764
People literally are
on the news being like,
25
00:00:54,864 --> 00:00:57,634
"This is destroying the fabric
of society.
26
00:00:57,734 --> 00:00:59,703
"Huh? What's next? Donald Duck?
27
00:00:59,803 --> 00:01:02,439
You're not going to
be able to see his dick? Huh?!"
28
00:01:02,539 --> 00:01:04,007
Just wear different outfits.
29
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,343
The only people who
shouldn't wear different outfits
30
00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:07,844
are, like, people
who are geniuses,
31
00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,246
because they don't
want to waste time. Like,
32
00:01:09,346 --> 00:01:10,647
like Albert Einstein.
33
00:01:10,747 --> 00:01:12,115
He says he wore the
same clothes every day
34
00:01:12,148 --> 00:01:13,617
because he didn't
want to waste time
35
00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,151
thinking about what
he was gonna wear.
36
00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:16,753
He's like, "I'm trying
to solve the universe,
37
00:01:16,853 --> 00:01:19,389
I can't figure out if, like,
check goes with polka dot."
38
00:01:19,489 --> 00:01:20,490
You know what I mean?
39
00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:22,392
Trying to figure shit out.
40
00:01:22,492 --> 00:01:24,261
Uh, Steve Jobs? Same thing.
41
00:01:24,361 --> 00:01:25,896
He was like, "Yo, same outfit,
42
00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:27,464
I'm not wasting my brain power."
43
00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,532
A lot of people do
that in, like, life now.
44
00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,735
They go like, "Yeah, I
don't waste time thinking
45
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:33,370
because I want to..."
But people don't realize,
46
00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:34,638
not picking your
clothes doesn't mean
47
00:01:34,738 --> 00:01:36,039
you automatically
become smarter.
48
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,641
Some people are still
dumbasses, but now you just
49
00:01:37,741 --> 00:01:39,910
wear the same
clothes every day.
50
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,212
Yeah, I don't think
people realize that
51
00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:44,414
that might be the
one saving grace that you have,
52
00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:46,750
Because now you're coming with
the same dumb shit every day
53
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,918
and you look the same.
54
00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:49,319
If you switch things
up, people will be like,
55
00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,688
"That shit was dumb
again, but nice shirt."
56
00:01:51,788 --> 00:01:53,223
♪ ♪
57
00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:55,358
Coming to you from the heart of
Times Square in New York City,
58
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,394
the only city in America,
59
00:01:57,494 --> 00:01:59,763
It's The Daily Show.
60
00:01:59,863 --> 00:02:02,899
Tonight,
schools in Omicron,
61
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:05,602
"Why Football is Weird,"
62
00:02:05,702 --> 00:02:08,204
And Lindsey Vonn.
63
00:02:08,305 --> 00:02:13,109
This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
64
00:02:13,209 --> 00:02:14,444
Hey! What's going
on, everybody?
65
00:02:14,544 --> 00:02:16,012
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
66
00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:18,648
Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:21,318
♪ ♪
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00:02:21,418 --> 00:02:24,387
And we begin with
the Supreme Court.
69
00:02:24,487 --> 00:02:26,957
The world's lamest gospel choir.
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00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:28,758
Today, major news, people,
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00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:32,295
Supreme Court Justice
Stephen Breyer has officially
72
00:02:32,395 --> 00:02:34,130
announced that
he is retiring.
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00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:35,332
And I know you're
thinking, "Wait,
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00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:36,299
we spoke about
this yesterday."
75
00:02:36,399 --> 00:02:37,601
No, that wasn't officially.
76
00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:38,735
That was unofficially.
77
00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:39,936
That was like a tweet.
78
00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:41,338
That was official, but
it wasn't official.
79
00:02:41,438 --> 00:02:43,306
This is
official-official. Right?
80
00:02:43,406 --> 00:02:44,641
And this is going to
have ramifications,
81
00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,142
but before we get
into the politics,
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00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:49,980
let's take a moment to honor
Justice Breyer's career.
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00:02:50,146 --> 00:02:51,982
And that's enough of
that. All right, so,
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00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,851
Joe Biden, you may remember,
promised during the campaign
85
00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:56,586
that he was going
to nominate a Black woman
86
00:02:56,686 --> 00:02:58,521
if an opening on
the Supreme Court came up
87
00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:02,626
because he cares deeply
about representation...
88
00:03:02,726 --> 00:03:04,995
...and winning Georgia.
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00:03:05,095 --> 00:03:06,596
And so, now it looks like that's
what we're planning to do.
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00:03:06,696 --> 00:03:09,799
But everyone
is not happy about that.
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00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,202
Right off the bat,
he is excluding
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00:03:12,302 --> 00:03:15,372
all potential candidates who are
not African-American women.
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00:03:15,472 --> 00:03:17,107
So, if you're a man,
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00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:18,275
if you happen to be white,
95
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:21,111
an Asian-American,
Hispanic-American,
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00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:23,446
Joe Biden will not even
look at your resume.
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00:03:23,547 --> 00:03:27,584
To exclude certain candidates
based solely on race and gender
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00:03:27,684 --> 00:03:30,153
is beyond extremely divisive.
99
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,122
Uh, it may even be illegal.
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00:03:32,188 --> 00:03:33,823
I don't think the president
101
00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:37,928
should ever, ever insult
the person he's gonna nominate
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00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:40,764
by saying, "You're not
the most qualified person.
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00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,999
You're just the most qualified
Black woman person."
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00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,335
NEWSWOMAN: Well, I mean, what
kind of qualification is that,
105
00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:46,903
being a Black woman?
106
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,838
I mean,
i-is this our standards now
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00:03:48,939 --> 00:03:51,007
in terms of the highest court
in the land?
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00:03:51,141 --> 00:03:53,810
You almost got the impression
that Joe Biden believes
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00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:56,246
all Black women are the same.
They're identical.
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00:03:56,346 --> 00:03:59,449
This is exactly why decent
Americans hated segregation.
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00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:01,151
It dehumanized people.
112
00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,453
And why isn't there
an American Indian on the court?
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00:04:03,553 --> 00:04:04,788
Or a genderqueer?
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00:04:04,888 --> 00:04:06,890
Why isn't there
an Afghan refugee
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00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:08,592
under consideration?
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00:04:08,692 --> 00:04:12,529
"Yeah, and why isn't there
a sexy M&M under consideration?
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00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:14,664
"I'm talking
about one of those M&Ms
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00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:17,867
"that goes right from the legs
straight to the shell. Hmm?
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00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,570
Did we all just get horny?
Hmm? Just me?"
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00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,138
Look, man,
there's a lot to unpack here,
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00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:25,242
but most importantly,
being a Black woman
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00:04:25,342 --> 00:04:27,210
isn't the qualification.
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00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,013
All right? Joe Biden
is gonna pick a Black woman
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00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:33,250
who is also qualified.
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00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,352
These people act like Biden
126
00:04:35,452 --> 00:04:37,120
is just gonna show up
at the mall and be like,
127
00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:38,722
"Yo, Shaniqua, come with me."
128
00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:40,123
"Uh, my name is Regina."
129
00:04:40,223 --> 00:04:41,491
"Uh, it doesn't matter.
Just put on these robes.
130
00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:42,592
I need help with abortion."
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00:04:42,692 --> 00:04:45,128
No. She's going to be qualified.
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00:04:45,228 --> 00:04:46,429
And why is that a bad thing?
133
00:04:46,529 --> 00:04:48,131
Why not try to make
the Supreme Court
134
00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,866
a little more representative
135
00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:52,669
of the country it represents?
136
00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:54,638
I mean,
their rulings impact the lives
137
00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:56,940
of every person in the country,
138
00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,076
so it would be nice to have
at least one justice on there
139
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:01,978
who's had to ask
the Walgreens guy
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00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:03,513
to unlock the shampoo shelf.
141
00:05:03,613 --> 00:05:05,081
But at the same time,
at the same time,
142
00:05:05,115 --> 00:05:06,483
I also hear what
these Fox people are saying.
143
00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:08,552
You know? It shouldn't matter
144
00:05:08,652 --> 00:05:10,453
whether you're Black or white.
145
00:05:10,554 --> 00:05:12,756
This position should only go
146
00:05:12,856 --> 00:05:14,824
to the most qualified judge
147
00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:17,561
who also thinks
that guns are people.
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00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:20,096
And, I mean,
I feel bad for Tucker Carlson.
149
00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:22,132
Of course he's upset.
You know, think about it.
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00:05:22,232 --> 00:05:24,301
For almost all
of American history,
151
00:05:24,401 --> 00:05:27,270
the entire Supreme Court
was white dudes
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00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,473
with bow ties and weird hair.
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00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:33,209
And now that's all gone.
Huh? It's all gone.
154
00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:35,712
Where's Tucker's
representation, huh?
155
00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:38,114
Lacrosse lives matter, people.
156
00:05:38,181 --> 00:05:40,116
All right,
let's move on from America
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00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:43,987
to America's estranged dad,
Great Britain.
158
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,922
Their Prime Minister
Boris Johnson
159
00:05:46,022 --> 00:05:48,358
has been embroiled in scandal
ever since it was discovered
160
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,360
that while Britons
were in lockdown,
161
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:52,395
he broke the rules
162
00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:54,564
and threw
a bunch of office parties.
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00:05:54,664 --> 00:05:57,133
And apparently they
were partying for everything.
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00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:59,302
Retirement parties,
birthday parties,
165
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,737
regular hangout parties.
166
00:06:00,837 --> 00:06:02,305
Shit, they were throwing parties
167
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,975
just because someone figured out
how to unjam the printer.
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00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:06,843
"It's working.
It's really working.
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00:06:06,943 --> 00:06:08,712
Well, this calls
for a spot of bubbly."
170
00:06:08,812 --> 00:06:11,548
(chanting): "Greg! Greg!
Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!"
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00:06:11,648 --> 00:06:12,716
And as if that
wasn't bad enough,
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00:06:12,816 --> 00:06:15,785
now Boris has
another scandal brewing.
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00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:17,587
NEWSMAN: British
Prime Minister Boris Johnson--
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00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:19,089
get this--
175
00:06:19,122 --> 00:06:21,791
is once again on the defense
176
00:06:21,892 --> 00:06:23,326
over another issue.
177
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,928
This time
it's whether he authorized
178
00:06:25,095 --> 00:06:29,266
the evacuation of cats and dogs
from Afghanistan.
179
00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:31,301
A batch of leaked emails
appear to contradict
180
00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:33,303
Johnson's claims
of having nothing to do
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00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:35,272
with the evacuation of animals
182
00:06:35,372 --> 00:06:37,274
from a British charity
in Afghanistan
183
00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:38,975
as the country fell
to the Taliban
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00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,011
and humans being were scrambling
185
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,879
to find a way out
of that country.
186
00:06:42,979 --> 00:06:44,848
The prime minister
has always denied intervening,
187
00:06:44,948 --> 00:06:47,317
a denial he repeated
this lunchtime.
188
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:50,186
This whole thing
is-is-is total rhubarb.
189
00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:52,656
The military always prioritized,
190
00:06:52,756 --> 00:06:55,292
uh, human, uh, beings,
191
00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:56,560
and that was quite right.
192
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,028
And I think
we should be incredibly proud
193
00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,230
of-of Op Pitting
and what it achieved.
194
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,666
Yo, can I be honest?
195
00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:05,535
This is the most white people
scandal of all time.
196
00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:09,372
You rescued pets
before human beings?
197
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:13,410
Guys, you have to prioritize
saving people over animals
198
00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:16,446
because people
will be grateful about it.
199
00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:18,848
You rescue a cat
from Afghanistan,
200
00:07:18,949 --> 00:07:21,117
it'll act
like it's doing you a favor.
201
00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:22,519
"Meow. Thanks."
202
00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:24,621
Now, Boris says
that this whole scandal is
203
00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,823
"total rhubarb,"
so you can tell he's stressed,
204
00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,092
because British people only
bust out the obscure vegetables
205
00:07:29,192 --> 00:07:30,827
when their backs
are against the wall.
206
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:32,495
"Prince Andrew,
what were you doing
207
00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:34,431
on Jeffrey Epstein's island?"
208
00:07:34,531 --> 00:07:36,766
"Oh, brussels sprouts,
it's not what you think."
209
00:07:36,866 --> 00:07:38,435
This is when you realize
how special Trump was
210
00:07:38,535 --> 00:07:40,637
at getting out of a jam, right?
Remember that guy?
211
00:07:40,737 --> 00:07:43,306
Because where most politicians
try and undo the scandal,
212
00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:44,808
Trump was a genius, man.
213
00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:47,611
He would just add another one
to throw us off the trail.
214
00:07:47,711 --> 00:07:49,546
"I know you're upset,
215
00:07:49,646 --> 00:07:52,916
"but why are we talking about me
sleeping with a porn star
216
00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:56,319
"when I'm about to overthrow
the government, huh?
217
00:07:56,419 --> 00:07:58,388
"That's the real story, folks.
218
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:01,057
"Throwing over
my own government.
219
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:03,627
"And I'm gonna overthrow it
with me inside it.
220
00:08:03,727 --> 00:08:05,528
Now I'm upside down."
221
00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:09,666
All right, finally, let us turn
to today's big education news.
222
00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:12,969
"I" before "E" except after "C."
223
00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:16,072
Apparently, it's not true.
You can just flip that shit.
224
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,074
I based my whole personality
on that.
225
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:21,177
Also, another education story
is over the last few months,
226
00:08:21,278 --> 00:08:24,080
there have been big movements
by conservatives
227
00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:27,117
to put limits on what kids
can learn in schools.
228
00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:30,887
Laws saying that you can't teach
divisive concepts about race.
229
00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:34,124
Uh, laws saying that books
should be pulled from libraries
230
00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:36,092
for talking
about gender identity.
231
00:08:36,192 --> 00:08:38,929
Basically, at this point,
if it's not math, science
232
00:08:39,095 --> 00:08:40,463
or how to hide from a shooter,
233
00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:41,531
they don't think
it's appropriate
234
00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:43,099
for kids to know about.
235
00:08:43,199 --> 00:08:44,634
And now one school board
236
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:47,704
is going after
a surprising new target.
237
00:08:47,804 --> 00:08:49,839
A Tennessee school board
decided to ban
238
00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:52,842
the Pulitzer Prize-winning
graphic novel Maus.
239
00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:56,346
It's the only graphic novel
ever to win the Pulitzer,
240
00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,682
but the McMinn County
School Board in Tennessee
241
00:08:58,782 --> 00:09:00,517
has banned the book.
242
00:09:00,617 --> 00:09:03,720
One board member said...
243
00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:12,062
Maus is widely seen
as the gold standard
244
00:09:12,095 --> 00:09:14,764
when it comes to teaching kids
about the Holocaust,
245
00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:17,300
given its unique voice,
its unique approach.
246
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,605
This decision baffling the
author of Maus, Art Spiegelman.
247
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:24,774
He was interviewed by CNBC
about this dec-- the decision
248
00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:26,409
and he said this.
249
00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:37,888
Now, if you don't know Maus,
250
00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:39,556
the whole reason this book
is taught in middle school
251
00:09:39,656 --> 00:09:41,825
is that it's a serious book
about the Holocaust
252
00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,560
that kids actually want to read.
253
00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:45,161
And adults, too. All right?
254
00:09:45,262 --> 00:09:47,197
Because a subject
this huge and horrifying
255
00:09:47,297 --> 00:09:49,099
is hard to get your head around.
256
00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:51,568
So what Maus does
is it turns all of the people
257
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:53,303
into cartoon animals. Right?
258
00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:54,838
The Jews are represented
by mice,
259
00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:56,373
the Germans are represented
by cats.
260
00:09:56,473 --> 00:09:58,475
And because that's a trope
that we're familiar with
261
00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:01,711
from comic books, it helps
people process this event
262
00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:04,047
that's unthinkable otherwise.
263
00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:05,982
I mean, it's either a comic book
264
00:10:06,082 --> 00:10:07,484
or that Peanuts special
265
00:10:07,584 --> 00:10:09,586
It's Genocide, Charlie Brown.
266
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:12,188
No, but, seriously though,
just because you show something
267
00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:13,990
doesn't mean
you are promoting it.
268
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,458
You need to include
certain stories
269
00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,394
because they represent reality.
270
00:10:17,494 --> 00:10:21,331
Right? It's like having
the N-word in Huckleberry Finn
271
00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:23,967
or the N-word
in To Kill a Mockingbird
272
00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:26,803
or the N-word in Of Mice and Men
or the N-word...
273
00:10:26,903 --> 00:10:28,939
♪ ♪
274
00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:31,308
...Goodnight Moon.
275
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:32,509
Wow.
276
00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:34,077
They said the N-word a lot.
(chuckles)
277
00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,646
So, listen,
Tennessee school board,
278
00:10:36,746 --> 00:10:40,016
you don't need to be denying
the Holocaust, okay?
279
00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:41,651
That's YouTube's job.
280
00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:43,086
Stay in your lane.
281
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,955
And when you teach kids,
teach them the whole truth.
282
00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:46,423
You can't teach it
while avoiding
283
00:10:46,523 --> 00:10:48,959
some of the unpleasant parts.
That's not a thing.
284
00:10:49,059 --> 00:10:51,361
That's history. You're supposed
to teach it properly.
285
00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:54,364
And it's gonna make these kids
look really dumb
286
00:10:54,464 --> 00:10:55,932
later on in life.
287
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,034
"Ah, yes, the Holocaust.
288
00:10:58,134 --> 00:11:02,105
"When, uh, millions of people
were given free pajamas.
289
00:11:02,205 --> 00:11:03,173
No?"
290
00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:04,674
Okay. Enough of that.
291
00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,409
Let's move on to our main story,
292
00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:10,113
which is once again
about the coronavirus pandemic.
293
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:13,383
And I know it seems like we talk
about COVID every single day,
294
00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:16,253
but, don't worry,
this is a new variant.
295
00:11:16,353 --> 00:11:18,655
One thing everyone agrees on
is that, sooner or later,
296
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:22,425
kids need to be back in school.
297
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:26,229
Because Zoom classes
are a nightmare.
298
00:11:26,329 --> 00:11:29,399
And they were especially hard
for the teachers
299
00:11:29,499 --> 00:11:31,167
at that Euphoria high school.
300
00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:33,770
"Will everyone please turn on
your cameras?
301
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,239
"Everyone turn--
Wait, wait, is that a penis?
302
00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:37,941
Is that--
Turn it off! Turn it off!"
303
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,709
Now, unfortunately,
304
00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:42,646
schools have to contend
with COVID,
305
00:11:42,746 --> 00:11:45,949
which also likes everyone being
inside classrooms.
306
00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:49,853
So how are schools
dealing with in-person classes
307
00:11:49,953 --> 00:11:51,521
during a pandemic?
308
00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:53,423
Well, let's find out
in another installment
309
00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:55,792
of Getting Back to Normal-ish.
310
00:11:55,892 --> 00:11:57,928
♪ ♪
311
00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:05,602
If there's one thing
we've learned about COVID
312
00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:09,506
is that it spreads most
when people are crowded indoors.
313
00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:12,442
And if there's one thing
that schools are about,
314
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:15,845
it's crowding people
into tight spaces--
315
00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,847
classrooms, hallways,
316
00:12:17,948 --> 00:12:19,282
lockers.
317
00:12:19,382 --> 00:12:21,184
So, as you can imagine, this
has caused a lot of problems
318
00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:22,185
for students.
319
00:12:22,285 --> 00:12:23,587
Since Omicron started,
320
00:12:23,687 --> 00:12:26,456
countless kids around
the country have gotten infected
321
00:12:26,556 --> 00:12:28,325
or they've had to isolate
322
00:12:28,425 --> 00:12:31,995
because some kid in their class
got infected.
323
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:34,397
And when you think about it,
it's disorienting
324
00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:36,733
not to know what each day
is gonna bring.
325
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:39,169
Are they gonna be in class?
Are they gonna be home?
326
00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:41,037
Is the bullying gonna be
in person or cyber?
327
00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:43,240
You need to plan.
328
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:44,574
It's been chaos for students,
329
00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:46,443
which is why some schools
have decided
330
00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:48,511
to do away with the indoor part
331
00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:51,214
of indoor learning altogether.
332
00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,917
The pandemic has many parents
and school districts
333
00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:57,254
still struggling with remote
versus in-person learning.
334
00:12:57,354 --> 00:12:59,656
But some schools
are finding a compromise
335
00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:01,091
in the great outdoors.
336
00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:02,792
NEWSWOMAN:
Despite frigid temperatures
337
00:13:02,893 --> 00:13:04,794
in Wisconsin and Maine,
338
00:13:04,895 --> 00:13:07,731
these schools moved
some classes outside
339
00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:09,499
to help prevent the spread.
340
00:13:09,599 --> 00:13:12,102
NEWSMAN:
17 schools in Portland, Maine,
341
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,737
built outdoor learning spaces.
342
00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,206
Plenty of winter gear and Wi-Fi.
343
00:13:16,306 --> 00:13:18,775
With wind chill,
it's minus-seven.
344
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,111
CHILD:
Try not to burn your mittens.
345
00:13:21,144 --> 00:13:23,780
Yeah, that's right, COVID.
You're not gonna get these kids.
346
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,315
'Cause they're gonna freeze
to death first.
347
00:13:25,415 --> 00:13:26,650
Ha-ha. Checkmate.
348
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,752
And look, I know
those classrooms might be colder
349
00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:30,420
than the middle
of Trader Joe's burrito,
350
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,291
but there are probably a lot of
benefits for the students. Yeah.
351
00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:35,992
Younger kids get to play
in the snow,
352
00:13:36,126 --> 00:13:38,762
and high schoolers--
well, they don't have to worry
353
00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:40,430
about spontaneous erections
anymore.
354
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,032
Everybody wins.
355
00:13:42,132 --> 00:13:44,668
Not to mention, these kids will
be the first generation
356
00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:46,836
that can outflex
their grandparents
357
00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:48,405
about how hard they had it.
358
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:53,376
I used to walk ten miles in
the snow just to get to school!
359
00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:55,812
Bitch, the snow was my school!
360
00:13:55,912 --> 00:13:58,715
But if kids are stressed out
by everything that's going on,
361
00:13:58,815 --> 00:14:00,750
it's also hard on the teachers.
362
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,486
A lot of them are staying home
because they're either worried
363
00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:06,489
about getting COVID,
or they already have it,
364
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:09,960
which is why there's a big
teacher shortage right now
365
00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:12,095
all across the country,
and that's a problem,
366
00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:14,598
because without teachers,
you don't have a school.
367
00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:17,100
I mean, now it's just juvie.
368
00:14:17,133 --> 00:14:18,969
So schools around the country
are trying
369
00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:22,505
to solve their staffing problems
with whoever they can find.
370
00:14:22,606 --> 00:14:23,840
NEWSWOMAN:
As Omicron surges on,
371
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,875
teachers are calling out
with COVID,
372
00:14:25,976 --> 00:14:29,179
leading to a potential crisis
across the nation's schools.
373
00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:31,281
NEWSWOMAN 2: With record numbers
calling in sick,
374
00:14:31,381 --> 00:14:34,150
thousands of schools
have been forced to close.
375
00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:37,120
Schools scrambling
to keep kids in the classroom,
376
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,956
forced to come up
with creative solutions.
377
00:14:40,123 --> 00:14:42,926
NEWSMAN: In Miami,
a staggering 1,700 teachers
378
00:14:43,026 --> 00:14:45,762
called in sick today.
It was all hands on deck.
379
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:48,498
Even the district superintendent
filled in
380
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,200
as a substitute
science teacher.
381
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,502
In Michigan, lunch ladies
382
00:14:52,602 --> 00:14:54,304
and school bus drivers
are stepping in
383
00:14:54,404 --> 00:14:55,705
to supervise classes.
384
00:14:55,805 --> 00:14:57,674
NEWSWOMAN 3: School districts
facing teacher shortages
385
00:14:57,774 --> 00:15:02,078
are asking parents and alum
to fill in as substitutes.
386
00:15:02,112 --> 00:15:04,848
NEWSMAN 2: Hundreds of parents
in Palo Alto, California
387
00:15:04,948 --> 00:15:06,816
are volunteering at schools,
388
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:10,186
doing anything from light
custodial work to food services.
389
00:15:10,287 --> 00:15:12,923
WOMAN: I've cleaned tables,
I've swept floors.
390
00:15:13,089 --> 00:15:14,958
NEWSMAN 3: In New Mexico,
the governor now calling
391
00:15:15,091 --> 00:15:17,494
on the National Guard
to teach kids.
392
00:15:17,594 --> 00:15:19,663
In Oklahoma,
off-duty police officers
393
00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:21,565
are now stepping in to teach.
394
00:15:21,665 --> 00:15:26,102
Wow. They're using cops
as substitute teachers?
395
00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:28,338
I mean, that's one way
396
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:30,941
to get the Black kids
raising their hands in class.
397
00:15:31,107 --> 00:15:32,776
Uh, Kevin, did you...
did you have a question?
398
00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:34,544
Nah, sir.
I just don't want any trouble.
399
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,680
It would actually be
pretty funny
400
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,649
if the teachers and cops
switched jobs permanently.
401
00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,284
Because you got to admit,
it would be so nice
402
00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:43,853
to get pulled over
by a teacher for a change.
403
00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,155
Because they'd just be like,
404
00:15:45,255 --> 00:15:46,723
"Sir, do you know how fast
you were going?
405
00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:49,492
"Because, you see,
you left Tulsa at 3:08 p.m.
406
00:15:49,593 --> 00:15:52,896
and arrived here
two hours later, which means?"
407
00:15:52,996 --> 00:15:54,698
I'm not hating, though. I'm not
hating. I think it's great
408
00:15:54,798 --> 00:15:56,700
that people from the community
are stepping up.
409
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,702
But let's not forget,
there's no way
410
00:15:58,802 --> 00:16:02,172
to replace a professional
substitute teacher.
411
00:16:02,272 --> 00:16:05,408
Yeah, you think anyone can just
show up, pass out a worksheet
412
00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:06,843
and then get roasted
for eight hours
413
00:16:06,943 --> 00:16:07,978
by a bunch of 11-year-olds?
414
00:16:08,078 --> 00:16:10,513
No, that is an art form.
415
00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,883
So a lot of these pandemic
policies have been hard
416
00:16:12,983 --> 00:16:14,184
on students and teachers.
417
00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:16,620
But the people making
the policies
418
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,822
aren't getting off easy.
419
00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:21,091
And I'm talking
about the local school boards.
420
00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:23,560
Yeah, they're stuck
in the middle between parents
421
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:25,362
who are terrified
of their kids' safety,
422
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,731
and parents who are terrified
423
00:16:27,831 --> 00:16:30,867
that the masks their kids wear
will turn their kids
424
00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,769
into tiny little Faucis.
425
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:36,106
I'm home from school, Mom,
and all the data supports me
426
00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:38,975
getting some mac and cheese
right now.
427
00:16:39,109 --> 00:16:41,311
Follow the science, Mommy!
428
00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:43,813
So, school boards are
in a tough spot,
429
00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:47,617
and, uh, not every parent is
showing their appreciation.
430
00:16:47,717 --> 00:16:49,653
NEWSWOMAN: This school board
meeting in Virginia
431
00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,888
taking a wild turn Thursday
432
00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:55,025
as a Page County parent
was arrested and released
433
00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:58,995
on a $5,000 bond after she was
captured on tape threatening
434
00:16:59,129 --> 00:17:01,431
to bring guns
to her children's school
435
00:17:01,531 --> 00:17:04,267
if the district continued
to enforce their mask mandate.
436
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,770
My children will not come
to school
437
00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:09,806
on Monday with a mask on,
all right?
438
00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,408
That's not happening.
439
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:16,446
And I will bring
every single gun loaded
440
00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:19,683
and ready to...
I-I will call every...
441
00:17:19,783 --> 00:17:20,984
Okay, that's three minutes.
442
00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:24,521
You've gone past your time.
It's a policy.
443
00:17:24,621 --> 00:17:26,723
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
444
00:17:28,158 --> 00:17:30,493
I'll see y'all on Monday.
445
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:35,899
So you don't want
to hear the end of the threat?
446
00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:37,901
I mean, I know
there's a time policy,
447
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,703
but if someone's threatening
to kill me,
448
00:17:39,803 --> 00:17:44,441
I want to hear what they have
to say so I know how to escape.
449
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,543
I mean, this does show you
450
00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:49,346
how often school boards get
death threats screamed at them.
451
00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:50,881
Did you see how calm
those people were?
452
00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:53,950
This woman is talking
about bringing every loaded gun
453
00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:56,419
to school, and they're like,
"Time is up. Thank you."
454
00:17:56,519 --> 00:17:58,321
(laughter)
455
00:17:58,421 --> 00:17:59,890
"The next speaker is
Jennifer Higgins
456
00:18:00,056 --> 00:18:01,958
"who has a proposal
for burning down our houses.
457
00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,693
"Go ahead, Jennifer,
and please remember,
458
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:05,262
keep it to three minutes."
459
00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:08,198
For more on the disruption
that Omicron is causing
460
00:18:08,298 --> 00:18:11,067
with schools, let's go out now
to Roy Wood, Jr.
461
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:15,071
who is standing outside
a random school.
462
00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:17,641
Do I have to be out here,
Trevor?
463
00:18:17,741 --> 00:18:19,075
It's cold as hell.
464
00:18:19,109 --> 00:18:21,411
I could just talk
to you in the studio.
465
00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:22,812
I'm sorry, Roy.
That's not possible.
466
00:18:22,913 --> 00:18:24,381
This is how the news is.
467
00:18:24,481 --> 00:18:26,216
You see, we're talking
about a school,
468
00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:28,418
so you have to be at a school.
469
00:18:28,518 --> 00:18:31,688
Otherwise, how will the people
trust what a school is?
470
00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:33,290
Anyway, let's talk
about all the chaos
471
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:34,658
in schools right now, Roy.
472
00:18:34,758 --> 00:18:37,994
It almost feels like
we're back in 2020, right?
473
00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:40,096
It sure as shit does.
474
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:43,300
I'm so fed up with Omicron, man.
It's ruining everything.
475
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,502
It's ruining things
for students, for teachers,
476
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:48,104
parents, everybody,
not to mention
477
00:18:48,204 --> 00:18:50,206
all the money I'm losing
on these shirts
478
00:18:50,307 --> 00:18:52,175
I printed up
a couple of months ago.
479
00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:54,644
Look at this, man!
480
00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:56,947
I hadn't sold
a single one of these!
481
00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:59,616
Damn Omicron. You don't know
the overhead on that.
482
00:18:59,716 --> 00:19:01,718
Really gives you
a new appreciation
483
00:19:01,818 --> 00:19:04,654
for all those chill viruses
we have out there.
484
00:19:04,754 --> 00:19:06,256
Yeah, that's so...
Wait. I'm sorry.
485
00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,658
Did you say "chill viruses"?
486
00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:12,128
I-I don't think there's such
a thing as a chill virus, Roy.
487
00:19:12,229 --> 00:19:14,497
No, I think that's where
you're wrong, Trevor.
488
00:19:14,598 --> 00:19:16,266
There are plenty
of viruses out there
489
00:19:16,366 --> 00:19:18,068
just keeping to themselves,
490
00:19:18,168 --> 00:19:19,603
not stirring up trouble
all the time,
491
00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:21,638
like, uh, hepatitis A.
492
00:19:21,738 --> 00:19:23,206
I'm sorry, Roy.
493
00:19:23,306 --> 00:19:25,842
Are you saying that hepatitis A
is a chill virus?
494
00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:29,312
Yeah, totally chill virus,
Trevor. Calm as hell.
495
00:19:29,412 --> 00:19:30,647
Nobody's getting hepatitis A
496
00:19:30,747 --> 00:19:32,382
just standing in line
at Walmart.
497
00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:35,085
Only way you're getting it
is if you go out to eat
498
00:19:35,118 --> 00:19:37,921
and the cook don't wash
his hands after wiping his ass.
499
00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:40,290
You don't have to worry
about masks or booster shots
500
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:41,658
with hepatitis A.
501
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,160
Just don't order a sloppy joe
at a truck stop,
502
00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:45,662
and you're good.
503
00:19:45,762 --> 00:19:47,831
Well, Roy,
I wasn't planning on it, but...
504
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,566
yeah, I see what you're saying,
you know?
505
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,967
Like, maybe we
should give credit
506
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,202
to all those viruses out there
507
00:19:52,302 --> 00:19:54,104
that are less annoying
day to day.
508
00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:57,140
Like... like, what's that virus
that causes mono?
509
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,110
Oh. You're talking about my boy.
510
00:20:00,076 --> 00:20:01,678
Epstein-Barr.
511
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:04,748
Or also known
as the "kissing disease."
512
00:20:04,848 --> 00:20:06,550
Now, you may not know this,
Trevor,
513
00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:09,352
but you know why they call it
the kissing disease?
514
00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,922
'Cause you get it from kissing.
515
00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:14,424
It's one of the few diseases
where the diagnosis
516
00:20:14,524 --> 00:20:16,159
comes with a high five.
517
00:20:16,259 --> 00:20:17,294
That's so true, Roy.
518
00:20:17,394 --> 00:20:18,595
You know,
the doctor's just like:
519
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,130
I got good news and bad news.
520
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:21,631
The bad news is: you got mono.
521
00:20:21,731 --> 00:20:23,867
The good news is: my man!
522
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:26,069
-(chuckling)
-Hell yeah.
523
00:20:26,169 --> 00:20:28,138
By the way,
did you know that Epstein-Barr
524
00:20:28,238 --> 00:20:30,006
is named after Jeffrey Epstein
525
00:20:30,106 --> 00:20:33,109
and former attorney general
Bill Barr?
526
00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:35,445
It was their first collab
before Barr killed Epstein
527
00:20:35,545 --> 00:20:36,613
in a jail cell.
528
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,481
I did not know that, Roy.
529
00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:40,750
Yeah, well, now you do.
I don't preach, I teach.
530
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,720
And here's one other virus that
I've never really appreciated
531
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,455
until corona came along:
532
00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:46,856
herpes.
533
00:20:46,957 --> 00:20:48,692
Huh. I-I don't know, man.
534
00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:52,262
I don't think I'm ready to throw
my support behind herpes.
535
00:20:52,362 --> 00:20:54,397
Well, you should be.
Did you know, Trevor,
536
00:20:54,497 --> 00:20:57,467
200 million people
in this country have herpes,
537
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,436
but it's such a chill virus
538
00:20:59,536 --> 00:21:02,339
that most people
don't even realize they have it.
539
00:21:02,439 --> 00:21:04,941
It's just like Cinemax,
sitting up there at channel 637,
540
00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:06,910
just minding its own business.
541
00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:09,145
Hell, I'll bet you have herpes.
542
00:21:09,246 --> 00:21:11,481
(chuckles) No, I don't...
I don't have herpes.
543
00:21:11,581 --> 00:21:14,317
-I do not, Roy.
-Statistically, you probably do.
544
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:16,953
I don't...
I'm sure that I don't, Roy.
545
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,723
-Thank you so much.
-Yeah, look, it doesn't matter
546
00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:21,391
if or how you got herpes, man.
547
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:23,727
The point is,
I want to take a moment
548
00:21:23,827 --> 00:21:26,796
to apologize to all
the chill viruses out there.
549
00:21:26,897 --> 00:21:29,766
We took you for granted before,
but no longer.
550
00:21:29,866 --> 00:21:32,969
We appreciate you
and all you do for us.
551
00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:36,806
From hep A all the way to
Trevor Noah's herpes, thank you.
552
00:21:36,907 --> 00:21:38,708
I... I do not...
I do not have herpes.
553
00:21:38,808 --> 00:21:40,544
-Thank you so much, Roy.
-Thank you, hep.
554
00:21:40,644 --> 00:21:42,212
-Cut it. Let's just cut
his feed. -Thank you, herpes.
555
00:21:42,312 --> 00:21:43,647
All right, ignore that.
We're gonna take a quick break,
556
00:21:43,747 --> 00:21:45,916
and when we come back,
Ronny Chieng will explain
557
00:21:46,016 --> 00:21:48,218
why American football
makes no sense.
558
00:21:48,318 --> 00:21:49,753
You don't want to miss it.
559
00:21:49,853 --> 00:21:51,354
We can cut out
all the herpes stuff, right?
560
00:21:51,454 --> 00:21:53,023
We can just cut out the herpe...
561
00:21:53,156 --> 00:21:54,524
What do you mean we're live?
562
00:21:54,624 --> 00:21:55,892
(stammers)
563
00:21:55,992 --> 00:21:57,427
We're just gonna have herpes...
my herpes is on T...
564
00:21:57,527 --> 00:21:59,162
No, I don't have herpes.
I'm just saying
565
00:21:59,229 --> 00:22:00,897
the thing he said
about my herpes on TV now.
566
00:22:00,997 --> 00:22:03,833
It's confirmed.
He has it. Yes.
567
00:22:03,934 --> 00:22:06,102
Yes, he does. Okay.
Just making sure.
568
00:22:09,481 --> 00:22:10,615
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
569
00:22:10,715 --> 00:22:12,617
If you spent your whole life
in America,
570
00:22:12,717 --> 00:22:15,720
you might not know
what other countries
571
00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:18,123
think about this great country.
572
00:22:18,223 --> 00:22:21,026
Well, luckily, Ronny Chieng
is happy to tell you
573
00:22:21,126 --> 00:22:24,796
in his new segment, America WTF.
574
00:22:24,896 --> 00:22:26,698
As someone who's lived
all over the world,
575
00:22:26,798 --> 00:22:29,634
it's my responsibility
to let Americans know
576
00:22:29,734 --> 00:22:32,270
the rest of us think
a lot of what you guys do
577
00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,938
is super weird.
578
00:22:34,039 --> 00:22:36,074
♪ ♪
579
00:22:42,981 --> 00:22:44,949
-For example...
-(whistle blows)
580
00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:46,418
-(crowd cheering)
-American football,
581
00:22:46,518 --> 00:22:48,586
which you guys think of
as the most normal thing ever.
582
00:22:48,687 --> 00:22:52,524
Let me assure you
everything about it is crazy.
583
00:22:52,624 --> 00:22:55,060
Before the game even starts,
everyone has to stand up
584
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,395
and sing
the national anthem together?
585
00:22:57,495 --> 00:22:59,898
Nobody else
on the planet does that.
586
00:22:59,998 --> 00:23:02,067
We just assume everyone knows
what country they're in
587
00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:03,935
before the game starts.
588
00:23:04,035 --> 00:23:05,370
And then
there's the game itself.
589
00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:08,573
First of all, the teams
all have, like, 300 people.
590
00:23:08,673 --> 00:23:11,476
That's not a sport.
That's an army.
591
00:23:11,576 --> 00:23:13,144
That's so many people
that everyone has
592
00:23:13,244 --> 00:23:15,046
their own special,
little job to do.
593
00:23:15,146 --> 00:23:18,216
Like, one guy throws the ball.
One guy kicks the ball.
594
00:23:18,316 --> 00:23:19,584
-MAN: And hut!
-One guy throws the ball
595
00:23:19,684 --> 00:23:21,386
to the guy who throws the ball.
596
00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:23,388
And speaking of the ball,
597
00:23:23,488 --> 00:23:25,824
this is isn't normal,
either, okay?
598
00:23:25,924 --> 00:23:28,593
Balls are supposed to be round.
599
00:23:28,693 --> 00:23:31,496
That's the main thing
that makes it a ball.
600
00:23:31,596 --> 00:23:33,198
But in this insane sport,
601
00:23:33,298 --> 00:23:36,334
even the ball looks
like it has brain damage.
602
00:23:36,434 --> 00:23:38,970
And what's with the scoring?
Six points for a touchdown.
603
00:23:39,070 --> 00:23:41,673
One point for the kick
after you make it,
604
00:23:41,773 --> 00:23:44,609
but if you make the same kick
before you scored,
605
00:23:44,676 --> 00:23:46,611
it would have been three points.
606
00:23:46,644 --> 00:23:49,014
And you can also score
a touchdown again
607
00:23:49,114 --> 00:23:50,415
after the touchdown,
608
00:23:50,515 --> 00:23:52,283
but this time,
it's only worth two points.
609
00:23:52,384 --> 00:23:53,852
Who came up with this shit?
610
00:23:53,952 --> 00:23:57,455
If you ask me, a touchdown
should be worth 100 points.
611
00:23:57,622 --> 00:23:59,290
The player deserves it.
612
00:23:59,391 --> 00:24:00,959
He basically dodged a mugging
613
00:24:01,059 --> 00:24:03,128
with a slippery almond
in his hand.
614
00:24:03,228 --> 00:24:05,230
And 100 points would be
way easier to keep up with
615
00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:06,498
than all these other numbers.
616
00:24:06,631 --> 00:24:08,700
How do you people get drunk
at these games
617
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,770
and still follow along
without a spreadsheet?
618
00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:13,004
And speaking of drinking,
619
00:24:13,104 --> 00:24:15,940
you guys realize
how weird tailgating is, right?
620
00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:17,642
Like, I don't care
how you want to brand it--
621
00:24:17,742 --> 00:24:20,979
getting drunk in a parking lot
isn't a family activity.
622
00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:22,981
It's a sign
to get your life together.
623
00:24:23,081 --> 00:24:24,315
I feel like the whole thing
started
624
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:26,451
because a bunch of pickup trucks
broke down
625
00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:28,119
in a stadium parking lot
626
00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:29,788
and they just tried
to play it off, like,
627
00:24:29,888 --> 00:24:31,790
"Uh, oh, no, no, no,
we meant to park here
628
00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:33,458
for five hours before the game."
629
00:24:33,591 --> 00:24:35,026
But if you're tailgating
at a game,
630
00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:37,595
better not be too young.
Because don't forget
631
00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:40,198
about America's
super weird drinking age.
632
00:24:40,298 --> 00:24:42,467
You got to be 21
to drink in this country?
633
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,768
That doesn't make sense.
634
00:24:43,868 --> 00:24:45,503
Okay, I guess they're trying
to keep college kids
635
00:24:45,603 --> 00:24:47,505
from becoming alcoholics
or something,
636
00:24:47,605 --> 00:24:51,009
but I'm pretty sure
that experiment has failed.
637
00:24:51,109 --> 00:24:53,178
College dorms
are so soaked in booze
638
00:24:53,278 --> 00:24:56,214
that if you lit a match, the
whole building would explode.
639
00:24:56,314 --> 00:24:57,682
So maybe you're not going
to a game.
640
00:24:57,782 --> 00:24:59,651
Maybe you're watching at home
instead.
641
00:24:59,751 --> 00:25:02,620
In which case, you'll
probably see about 50 TV ads
642
00:25:02,721 --> 00:25:03,955
for prescription drugs,
643
00:25:04,055 --> 00:25:05,523
which I know you think is normal
644
00:25:05,623 --> 00:25:08,159
but, trust me,
you're the only ones.
645
00:25:08,259 --> 00:25:10,595
There's a reason this doesn't
happen in other countries.
646
00:25:10,695 --> 00:25:12,964
Most of the people watching TV
aren't doctors,
647
00:25:13,064 --> 00:25:15,367
so there's no reason
to market to them directly,
648
00:25:15,467 --> 00:25:17,068
especially the way they do it.
649
00:25:17,168 --> 00:25:18,803
They always ask you questions
like...
650
00:25:18,903 --> 00:25:21,106
-(yawning)
-"Hey, are you drowsy or sad
651
00:25:21,206 --> 00:25:23,575
-or achy or farting?"
-(fart sound)
652
00:25:23,675 --> 00:25:25,343
Yes! I'm all those things
right now
653
00:25:25,443 --> 00:25:27,412
because I'm a (bleep) person.
654
00:25:27,579 --> 00:25:30,281
If someone needs a drug,
their doctor will prescribe it.
655
00:25:30,382 --> 00:25:32,784
You shouldn't have to ask them
if it's right for you.
656
00:25:32,884 --> 00:25:35,186
This doesn't happen in
any other part of medical care.
657
00:25:35,286 --> 00:25:38,023
Okay? There's no TV ads
asking you to ask your doctor
658
00:25:38,123 --> 00:25:40,592
whether they should cup
your balls and make you cough.
659
00:25:40,692 --> 00:25:43,762
Your pervert doctor
will do that on their own.
660
00:25:43,862 --> 00:25:46,131
Look, do your thing, America.
661
00:25:46,231 --> 00:25:48,800
Okay? Just know that,
whenever you're ready,
662
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:51,469
you're more than welcome
to join the rest of the world
663
00:25:51,603 --> 00:25:53,471
and start following soccer,
664
00:25:53,605 --> 00:25:55,807
a sport where the ball is round,
665
00:25:55,907 --> 00:25:57,342
the scoring is simple
666
00:25:57,442 --> 00:25:59,778
and the only thing
fans are doing in a parking lot
667
00:25:59,878 --> 00:26:01,980
is fighting each other
to the death,
668
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,282
like God intended.
669
00:26:04,382 --> 00:26:06,418
♪ ♪
670
00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:09,387
Thank you so much for that,
Ronny.
671
00:26:09,554 --> 00:26:10,555
All right, when we come back,
672
00:26:10,622 --> 00:26:12,257
Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn
673
00:26:12,357 --> 00:26:14,025
will be joining me right here
on the show.
674
00:26:14,125 --> 00:26:15,326
So don't go away.
675
00:26:17,236 --> 00:26:18,337
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight
676
00:26:18,437 --> 00:26:21,139
is Olympic gold medalist
and the most decorated
677
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,476
female skier of all time,
Lindsey Vonn.
678
00:26:24,576 --> 00:26:26,278
She's here to talk
about her new memoir,
679
00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:28,313
about her record-breaking
skiing career
680
00:26:28,413 --> 00:26:31,216
and her new journey
as an entrepreneur.
681
00:26:31,316 --> 00:26:33,051
Lindsey Vonn,
welcome to The Daily Show.
682
00:26:33,151 --> 00:26:34,186
Hey, thanks for having me.
683
00:26:34,286 --> 00:26:36,855
Um, I-I've known you
for a few years,
684
00:26:36,955 --> 00:26:38,724
so I knew some of the stories
in this book,
685
00:26:38,824 --> 00:26:43,061
but, like,
I didn't know how much of a--
686
00:26:43,161 --> 00:26:45,163
-let me choose my words
carefully... -(chuckles)
687
00:26:45,264 --> 00:26:47,165
-...crazy person you were.
-(laughing)
688
00:26:47,266 --> 00:26:48,634
-Um... -I was expecting
something like this.
689
00:26:48,734 --> 00:26:50,002
No, no, no! You know
why? I'll tell you why.
690
00:26:50,102 --> 00:26:51,537
I'll tell you why. Because,
like, I struggle to plan
691
00:26:51,637 --> 00:26:53,472
-what I'm going to do
next week in life. -(laughs)
692
00:26:53,572 --> 00:26:57,276
You had a ten-year plan to make
it to the Olympics,
693
00:26:57,376 --> 00:26:59,278
and this is a plan as a
nine-year-old, I have to add,
694
00:26:59,378 --> 00:27:00,812
-on top of that. So, at
nine-years-old, -(laughter)
695
00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:04,383
you're like, "I want to go to
the Olympics in ten years."
696
00:27:04,483 --> 00:27:07,085
Yeah. I mean, my dad definitely
helped me with the planning.
697
00:27:07,186 --> 00:27:10,155
Um... but we had-- Yeah. I met
Picabo Street, my idol,
698
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:11,657
-when I was nine. Came home,
-Yes.
699
00:27:11,757 --> 00:27:14,059
and I was like, "This is it,
this is what I want to do."
700
00:27:14,159 --> 00:27:15,894
And I was like,
"Okay, let's make a plan."
701
00:27:16,061 --> 00:27:17,196
We printed out calendars,
702
00:27:17,296 --> 00:27:18,964
we had highlighters,
it was, like, a whole thing.
703
00:27:19,064 --> 00:27:20,332
What are you planning
in that ten years?
704
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,067
-I'm... (laughs) Thank you.
-No, I mean, I know
705
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:23,602
you're the greatest,
but what takes ten years?
706
00:27:23,702 --> 00:27:25,537
-I need to understand what
takes... -So, when you're nine,
707
00:27:25,637 --> 00:27:27,873
-you have to, like,
build up a point profile. -Okay.
708
00:27:27,973 --> 00:27:29,908
You know, certain requirements
that you have to make
709
00:27:30,075 --> 00:27:31,777
in order
to kind of make the progression
710
00:27:31,877 --> 00:27:35,347
to even get to the U.S. Ski Team
and then to the Olympics.
711
00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:38,417
So... And my dad was a racer
when he was growing up.
712
00:27:38,517 --> 00:27:39,852
-NOAH: Right, right, right.
-VONN: He was a junior racer,
713
00:27:39,952 --> 00:27:41,987
so he knew kind of all
the levels that I needed to get.
714
00:27:42,087 --> 00:27:44,089
And, you know, obviously,
715
00:27:44,189 --> 00:27:46,325
I had to start expanding
my repertoire
716
00:27:46,425 --> 00:27:47,759
'cause I was from Minnesota.
717
00:27:47,860 --> 00:27:50,829
So, 300 vertical feet
is not a place
718
00:27:50,929 --> 00:27:52,531
-where you learn
downhill skiing. -(laughs)
719
00:27:52,631 --> 00:27:53,932
So we had to move to Colorado
720
00:27:54,099 --> 00:27:55,434
-when I was 12,
so it was like... -Got it.
721
00:27:55,534 --> 00:27:56,969
-You know, the ten-year plan
was extensive. -Okay. Okay.
722
00:27:57,102 --> 00:27:59,171
I understand.
I mean, you... Yeah, Minnesota
723
00:27:59,271 --> 00:28:00,806
might not have been great
for your repertoire,
724
00:28:00,906 --> 00:28:02,341
but it was great
for preparing you
725
00:28:02,441 --> 00:28:04,510
for, uh,
the doldrums of the cold.
726
00:28:04,610 --> 00:28:06,545
-Do you even feel cold anymore?
-(laughs) I hate the cold.
727
00:28:06,645 --> 00:28:08,347
Like, everyone is dying here
in New York.
728
00:28:08,447 --> 00:28:10,148
Everyone's freezing.
And then today when you came in,
729
00:28:10,249 --> 00:28:12,117
I was like, "Oh, she's just
gonna come in, like, a tank top
730
00:28:12,217 --> 00:28:13,552
"and be like,
'Oh, a summer day, everybody.
731
00:28:13,652 --> 00:28:14,987
-How you doing?'"
-I hate the cold.
732
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,321
-I hate it. -You're
like the Bane of the cold.
733
00:28:16,421 --> 00:28:18,690
-"Ah, Batman." Like, that's you.
-(laughs)
734
00:28:18,790 --> 00:28:20,626
-Bane of the cold.
-You are the Bane of the cold.
735
00:28:20,726 --> 00:28:23,228
I mean,
why do you think I ski fast?
736
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:25,097
-To get out of the cold?
-I... Exactly.
737
00:28:25,197 --> 00:28:26,798
-(laughs)
-Literally.
738
00:28:26,899 --> 00:28:29,067
I make it to the bottom
as fast I can,
739
00:28:29,167 --> 00:28:31,136
-I put my clothes back on.
-Okay.
740
00:28:31,236 --> 00:28:33,138
-This makes a lot of sense.
Yeah. -Makes a lot of sense now.
741
00:28:33,238 --> 00:28:34,706
-Yeah. -I also didn't know,
and this was really cool
742
00:28:34,806 --> 00:28:35,841
to read in the book.
743
00:28:35,941 --> 00:28:37,476
Y-You're
an interesting human being
744
00:28:37,576 --> 00:28:39,711
in that you-you talk
about how...
745
00:28:39,811 --> 00:28:42,648
like, how hard life was for you
in some instances.
746
00:28:42,748 --> 00:28:44,116
Athletes used to be told,
"Hey, don't...
747
00:28:44,216 --> 00:28:45,350
-Don't tell people
you're depressed." -Yeah.
748
00:28:45,450 --> 00:28:47,085
"You'll lose everything.
Endorsements.
749
00:28:47,186 --> 00:28:48,654
Don't. People don't want you
on a team."
750
00:28:48,754 --> 00:28:50,255
You came out and said, "Hey,
I'm struggling with depression,
751
00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:51,790
and this is what I'm doing
about it."
752
00:28:51,890 --> 00:28:53,125
But what was interesting to me
753
00:28:53,225 --> 00:28:54,693
is the fact
that you-you don't...
754
00:28:54,793 --> 00:28:57,396
You don't seem to have fear when
it comes to the slopes, though.
755
00:28:57,496 --> 00:29:00,132
Like, life is this scary thing,
756
00:29:00,232 --> 00:29:01,934
and then
you're going down a hill
757
00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:03,502
at I don't know
how many miles an hour.
758
00:29:03,602 --> 00:29:06,505
-85, roughly.
-85 miles an hour.
759
00:29:06,605 --> 00:29:09,441
-85 miles. Not kilometers.
-Miles, right. Correct.
760
00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:11,176
Miles per hour.
761
00:29:11,276 --> 00:29:13,245
-And there's no fear.
-No.
762
00:29:13,345 --> 00:29:15,714
I mean, the skiing
is, like, the most, uh,
763
00:29:15,814 --> 00:29:18,183
simple thing in my life.
The easiest thing.
764
00:29:18,283 --> 00:29:20,052
Everything else was hard.
765
00:29:20,085 --> 00:29:22,054
-And skiing was like
my sanctuary. -How many...
766
00:29:22,087 --> 00:29:24,056
how many times have you crashed?
767
00:29:24,089 --> 00:29:27,059
I mean, we don't have enough,
you know, hours in the show
768
00:29:27,125 --> 00:29:29,528
-to talk about all the crashes.
-After the first crash, no fear?
769
00:29:29,628 --> 00:29:31,864
No. It's just-- That's part
of the job. You know?
770
00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:34,266
Like, that's-that's
the risk factor in skiing,
771
00:29:34,366 --> 00:29:36,535
and that's honestly one of the
things that makes it exciting.
772
00:29:36,635 --> 00:29:38,337
-Right. -You know?
It wouldn't-wouldn't be exciting
773
00:29:38,437 --> 00:29:41,173
if, every time you fell,
you fell into a pile of pillows.
774
00:29:41,273 --> 00:29:43,308
Well, that's what I thought
it was. I wanted to go skiing.
775
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,277
I've-- I don't know how to ski,
and I always wanted to learn
776
00:29:45,377 --> 00:29:46,778
-how to ski. And then... -Okay,
it's done. We're doing it.
777
00:29:46,879 --> 00:29:49,081
And then-- No. And then I saw
all of your injuries.
778
00:29:49,147 --> 00:29:50,782
Then I was like-- I thought
the whole point of skiing
779
00:29:50,883 --> 00:29:52,784
is that you fall into,
like, clouds
780
00:29:52,885 --> 00:29:53,852
and then you don't get hurt
and then...
781
00:29:53,952 --> 00:29:55,387
Snow is not as soft
as it may appear.
782
00:29:55,487 --> 00:29:56,922
-Yeah, you see? That's
ridiculous. -No, it's not.
783
00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:59,858
-Ice is hard. Yes.
-That's like a... (laughing)
784
00:29:59,958 --> 00:30:03,161
Um, Lindsey Vonn has gone on
to inspire so many people.
785
00:30:03,262 --> 00:30:05,564
You know?
Uh, you-you're mentoring,
786
00:30:05,664 --> 00:30:07,566
you know, some of the skiers,
some of the athletes
787
00:30:07,666 --> 00:30:09,935
who are going to-to the, um...
to the Winter Olympics.
788
00:30:10,102 --> 00:30:12,337
You're gonna be commentating
on that.
789
00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,107
When you-- when you're watching,
um, the Olympics,
790
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:17,075
do you have favorites? Do you
have sports that you love?
791
00:30:17,176 --> 00:30:19,077
Is it always gonna be skiing
or are there some winter,
792
00:30:19,178 --> 00:30:20,746
like, sports where you're like,
"Nah, this is, like,
793
00:30:20,846 --> 00:30:22,281
"my secret passion.
Like, curling is my shit.
794
00:30:22,381 --> 00:30:24,383
-That's how I roll"?
-I mean, I'm from Minnesota,
795
00:30:24,483 --> 00:30:25,617
so curling should be my shit.
796
00:30:25,717 --> 00:30:27,920
-Okay.
-But-but i-it's not.
797
00:30:28,053 --> 00:30:28,921
Sorry.
798
00:30:29,054 --> 00:30:30,656
I love figure skating.
799
00:30:30,756 --> 00:30:31,924
I just think it's really cool.
800
00:30:32,057 --> 00:30:34,259
Like, figure skating
and gymnastics are my jam.
801
00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:36,862
But, you know,
I always love alpine skiing.
802
00:30:36,962 --> 00:30:38,931
And, of course, I'm gonna be
cheering for people that,
803
00:30:39,064 --> 00:30:40,866
you know, I've helped
over the last couple years
804
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:42,267
and throughout my career.
805
00:30:42,367 --> 00:30:45,103
-Um, and, obviously, Team USA.
-Right.
806
00:30:45,204 --> 00:30:47,906
Um, but it's also gonna be,
you know, hard,
807
00:30:48,073 --> 00:30:50,309
a little bit, to watch,
'cause I'm be miss--
808
00:30:50,409 --> 00:30:52,344
I-I will miss competing
a little bit.
809
00:30:52,444 --> 00:30:54,947
One of the hardest things
athletes face
810
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,817
is the fact that their careers
are essentially "over"
811
00:30:58,917 --> 00:31:01,653
-when life... sort of begins.
-Yeah.
812
00:31:01,753 --> 00:31:03,455
You know? Athletes talk
about this all the time,
813
00:31:03,555 --> 00:31:04,957
you know, whether it's,
you know, Chris Bosh,
814
00:31:05,090 --> 00:31:06,658
you know, whether it's Dwyane
Wade, whether it's yourself.
815
00:31:06,758 --> 00:31:10,462
Everyone goes,
"Yeah, I'm-I'm 36 years old,
816
00:31:10,562 --> 00:31:14,166
37 years old
and now life is over?"
817
00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:16,702
-How have you dealt with that?
-It was a tough transition.
818
00:31:16,802 --> 00:31:19,671
I think the first year
was-was really hard.
819
00:31:19,771 --> 00:31:21,573
And even though
I had set up business,
820
00:31:21,673 --> 00:31:24,710
and I had so much to do, it
didn't take away from the fact
821
00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:27,379
-that, you know,
skiing was-was gone. -Right.
822
00:31:27,479 --> 00:31:29,314
VONN: You know, it's something
you've done your entire life.
823
00:31:29,414 --> 00:31:31,450
And it's not like
a career change where,
824
00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:33,185
you know, you can change
your mind and go back to it.
825
00:31:33,285 --> 00:31:34,853
It's like,
one day you wake up,
826
00:31:34,953 --> 00:31:37,222
and literally what you love
to do is no longer possible.
827
00:31:37,322 --> 00:31:39,391
-Wow. -So it was just...
I don't know.
828
00:31:39,491 --> 00:31:41,560
It was a hard moment for me,
but I figured it out,
829
00:31:41,660 --> 00:31:44,096
and I found new passions and
new ways to challenge myself.
830
00:31:44,196 --> 00:31:46,098
I think
that's the most important thing.
831
00:31:46,198 --> 00:31:48,500
You know, athletes are
very driven and goal-oriented,
832
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,537
and we just need something
to push ourselves towards.
833
00:31:51,637 --> 00:31:53,739
And for me,
that's become business,
834
00:31:53,839 --> 00:31:56,175
and, you know, I'm in
venture capital a bit now.
835
00:31:56,275 --> 00:31:57,743
So, there's just a lot
of things going on,
836
00:31:57,843 --> 00:31:59,745
which, you know, excites me.
837
00:31:59,845 --> 00:32:02,314
-It's not going 85 miles an hour
down a mountain. -Right.
838
00:32:02,414 --> 00:32:04,683
But, you know,
I will make do with what I have.
839
00:32:04,783 --> 00:32:07,152
Are there any things
that you... that you miss,
840
00:32:07,252 --> 00:32:09,454
that you... that you're trying
to apply to your life now?
841
00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,490
Like, I didn't know,
for instance,
842
00:32:11,590 --> 00:32:14,927
that before you went downhill,
you would... you would spit.
843
00:32:15,093 --> 00:32:17,129
I didn't know if I was
reading that correctly.
844
00:32:17,229 --> 00:32:18,830
You-you...
you were spitting. Yes?
845
00:32:18,931 --> 00:32:20,465
Of all the things
to pick out in my book,
846
00:32:20,566 --> 00:32:23,235
you know, we can talk about
spitting, but, yeah, I just...
847
00:32:23,335 --> 00:32:25,170
This is the thing to not...
Like, I didn't understand this.
848
00:32:25,270 --> 00:32:27,539
Well, I don't know.
I think that's just something
849
00:32:27,639 --> 00:32:29,041
that I naturally did,
but I guess it, like,
850
00:32:29,141 --> 00:32:30,843
boosts testosterone.
I think some athletes do it.
851
00:32:30,943 --> 00:32:32,344
So it's not very, um, ladylike.
852
00:32:32,444 --> 00:32:34,346
So you spit before,
like, you do the thing?
853
00:32:34,446 --> 00:32:35,848
Yeah, it's just like a...
I don't know.
854
00:32:35,948 --> 00:32:37,816
-It's a... it's a thing.
I don't know. -Wow.
855
00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:39,618
Do you do that now
before big meetings?
856
00:32:39,718 --> 00:32:41,787
-No.
-(laughing)
857
00:32:41,887 --> 00:32:43,255
-No.
-It could bring back the thrill.
858
00:32:43,355 --> 00:32:44,590
No, I don't think the boardroom
is meant for spitting.
859
00:32:44,690 --> 00:32:46,058
Yeah, you do it
outside the boardroom.
860
00:32:46,091 --> 00:32:47,326
-I don't think it's a... Yeah.
-Obviously. I mean,
861
00:32:47,426 --> 00:32:48,861
-this is a civilized
environment. -Okay.
862
00:32:48,961 --> 00:32:50,195
-Just outside the boardroom,
before the boardroom. -Right.
863
00:32:50,295 --> 00:32:51,530
-Giant spit. -Right, just
before in the bathroom,
864
00:32:51,630 --> 00:32:53,065
before I go to my meeting,
I just get into it.
865
00:32:53,165 --> 00:32:54,499
You know what? Don't knock it
before you try it.
866
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,969
I'll just do some Lil Wayne
instead, I think. Okay.
867
00:32:57,069 --> 00:32:59,404
Lindsey Vonn, congratulations
on writing an amazing book.
868
00:32:59,505 --> 00:33:00,906
It's really fun,
it's a really inspiring story.
869
00:33:01,073 --> 00:33:02,975
Um, I think people will
really enjoy it, and, uh,
870
00:33:03,075 --> 00:33:04,476
-good luck for the Olympics.
-Thank you.
871
00:33:04,576 --> 00:33:06,144
Good luck for the world of
venture capital and business.
872
00:33:06,245 --> 00:33:08,180
And, uh, hopefully,
we'll see you again on the show.
873
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,815
-Thank you.
-All right, people.
874
00:33:09,915 --> 00:33:12,284
Lindsey's memoir, Rise,
is available
875
00:33:12,384 --> 00:33:13,785
wherever books are sold.
876
00:33:13,886 --> 00:33:15,087
We're gonna take a quick break,
877
00:33:15,153 --> 00:33:16,755
but we'll be right back
after this.
878
00:33:16,855 --> 00:33:18,891
-(imitates spitting)
-(laughs)
879
00:33:23,395 --> 00:33:24,864
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but before we go,
880
00:33:24,964 --> 00:33:26,966
today is
Holocaust Remembrance Day,
881
00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:28,467
so please consider supporting
882
00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:30,936
the United States
Holocaust Memorial Museum.
883
00:33:31,036 --> 00:33:34,206
It's a living memorial
that seeks to inspire citizens
884
00:33:34,306 --> 00:33:36,642
and leaders worldwide
to confront hatred,
885
00:33:36,742 --> 00:33:39,545
prevent genocide
and promote human dignity.
886
00:33:39,645 --> 00:33:42,114
If you would like to help
support their programs,
887
00:33:42,214 --> 00:33:44,717
then please donate
at the link below.
888
00:33:44,817 --> 00:33:47,486
Until next time, stay safe
out there, get your vaccine,
889
00:33:47,586 --> 00:33:50,389
and remember,
if you're out in the woods,
890
00:33:50,489 --> 00:33:52,625
and you come across
a classroom of students,
891
00:33:52,725 --> 00:33:55,594
that's their home,
and they're more scared of you
892
00:33:55,694 --> 00:33:57,296
than you are of them.
893
00:33:57,396 --> 00:34:00,266
Now, here it is--
Your Moment of Zen.
894
00:34:00,366 --> 00:34:02,134
♪ ♪
895
00:34:02,234 --> 00:34:04,203
♪ Do you want
to build a snowman? ♪
896
00:34:04,303 --> 00:34:06,739
What's that saying?
Do you want to build a snowman?
897
00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:09,074
Oh, yeah. Do you want
to build a snowman?
898
00:34:09,175 --> 00:34:11,577
-♪ Do you want
to build a snowman? ♪ -Aw.
899
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:14,280
Jackie, question for you.
Do you want to build a snowman?
900
00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:15,481
NEWSMAN 3: Do you want
to build a snowman?
901
00:34:15,581 --> 00:34:16,582
NEWSWOMAN 6:
Or an iceman.
902
00:34:16,682 --> 00:34:17,616
Don't put that in my head,
Jacob.
903
00:34:17,716 --> 00:34:18,884
Oh, that's going...
904
00:34:18,984 --> 00:34:20,186
♪ Do you want
to build a snowman? ♪
905
00:34:20,286 --> 00:34:21,253
-I know. -Either that,
or the Bruno song.
906
00:34:21,353 --> 00:34:22,488
Which one, you know?
907
00:34:22,588 --> 00:34:24,456
-We don't talk about Bruno.
-We don't...
908
00:34:24,557 --> 00:34:25,658
-We don't talk about Bruno.
-Let's not talk about Bruno.
909
00:34:25,758 --> 00:34:27,393
We don't talk about Bruno.
No, no, no.