1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,336 Our journey as humans is very inspiring, 2 00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,871 but not to, like, animals. 3 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,906 Like, we're like, "Look how far we've come." 4 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,774 And every animal on the planet is like, 5 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,376 "These mother(bleep). 6 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,778 "These guys are j... they chop down our houses, 7 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,515 "and they-they kill us to wear us, dawg. 8 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,250 This is... Wear us." 9 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,818 "Wh-What do you mean, wear-wear us?" 10 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,319 "Yo, they're gonna take your-your back, 11 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,388 and they're gonna put it on their back." 12 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,123 "But what-what do they have on their back?" 13 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,325 "Nothing, clearly. You." 14 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,660 "Don't they have skin?" 15 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,428 "Nah. They... Well, they've got it, 16 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,663 "but it's, like, useless, apparently. 17 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,098 "I don't know what happened with their skin. 18 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,866 And so they're just gonna wear us." 19 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,502 These are the conversations animals are having about us 20 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:36,770 till this day. 21 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,539 Imagine chickens talking to each other. 22 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,574 "Yeah, you know what gives them good dreams 23 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,944 is, like, the feathers of our ancestors." 24 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,179 "What?" 25 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,080 "Yeah, they need to sleep on our dead bodies 26 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,348 for a good night's sleep." 27 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,150 "What? 28 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,286 Can they not make the pillows out of anything else?" 29 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,621 "They can. They can. But they don't like to." 30 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,456 "What were their other options?" 31 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,258 "Well, they used to use, uh, cotton 32 00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:01,195 that some of them had picked. Yeah." 33 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,696 "Jesus, these people are monsters." 34 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,298 "I know. I know. 35 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,832 "Anyway, I'll-I'll chat to you later. 36 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,869 "I, uh, I've got to go turn into a bucket of pieces 37 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,070 that they're not gonna finish." 38 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,772 (clicks tongue) "See you later." 39 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,174 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square 40 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,211 in New York City, the only city in America, 41 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,580 it's The Daily Show. 42 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,482 Tonight, bye-bye, Breyer, 43 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,485 how Congress is getting rich, 44 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,088 and Rick Glassman. 45 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:32,693 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 46 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,361 Hey! What's going on, everybody? 47 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,096 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah, 48 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,564 and joining me for today's headlines 49 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,700 is our very own Ronny Chieng. 50 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,468 -What's going on, Ronny? How you doing? -Hey, Trevor. 51 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,470 Good to see you again. Uh... (inhales) 52 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,239 Well, I-I'm okay, 53 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,107 but I got COVID, like, five weeks ago, 54 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:48,509 -and, uh... -Wow. 55 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,011 Yeah, it was... It was, uh, intense. 56 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,413 I felt really sick. I'm glad I recovered, 57 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,582 but I think I may have 58 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,285 some lingering, uh, headaches, brain fog. 59 00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:01,522 And, uh, the worst part about COVID is, uh, afterwards, 60 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,392 I-I look at Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox news, 61 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,262 and I... I just feel nothing. 62 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:11,665 -Like, you've lost... -Yeah, just lost complete interest. 63 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,767 Like, I'll be scrolling, I'll see them, like, 64 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,469 biting each other's tongues or something, 65 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,838 and I'll be like, "I don't care about this." 66 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,907 And, you know, I just... I hope in a few months, 67 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,476 this goes away and I once again can enjoy 68 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:26,079 Megan Kelly, Machine Gun Fox news. 69 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,781 I... You see, that's part of the thing. 70 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,316 -It's happening to you now. -Yeah. 71 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,818 -You're even mixing up their... -Oh, did I just mix it up? 72 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,453 -Oh, damn. Well... -I'm sorry, man. 73 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,955 It's all right. You know. -Geez, Ronny. 74 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,523 -Well, I'm glad... -It could be worse. It could be worse. 75 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,392 It could be worse. I'm glad are you getting better, 76 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,160 and I hope that you care about them again one day. 77 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,596 -Thank you, Roy. -(exhales) Well, thanks for being here. 78 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,965 All right, let's jump straight into today's headlines. 79 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,967 ♪ ♪ 80 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,736 We kick things off with major news 81 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,638 out of the Supreme Court. 82 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,541 Yes, the second most powerful court in the United States 83 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,109 right after Judge Judy. 84 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,178 Out of all the justices on the Supreme Court, 85 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,647 the oldest one is Stephen Breyer. 86 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,418 And you know how it goes with old Supreme Court justices. 87 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,254 Eventually, whether they like it or not, 88 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,757 they go and meet the one true judge. 89 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,626 (kisses) 90 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:16,129 So, Democrats have been relentlessly pestering Breyer 91 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:19,433 to step down so that they can replace him 92 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,236 before Mitch McConnell comes back into power 93 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,672 and makes a rule that all Supreme Court justices 94 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,542 have to have been platinum QAnon members in the past. 95 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,513 And today, Breyer finally made the Democrats' dreams come true. 96 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,314 Breaking news. A bombshell announcement 97 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,617 out of the U.S. Supreme Court reverberating 98 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,253 across the nation's legal and political landscape. 99 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,955 CNN has learned that Justice Stephen Breyer 100 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,490 plans to retire. 101 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,259 NEWSMAN: Breyer is 83 years old, 102 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,728 and he has resisted calls to retire 103 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,264 from liberals who want President Joe Biden 104 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,432 to have a Supreme Court nomination slot 105 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,401 that he can use this year. 106 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,137 Apparently, Breyer has decided, uh, to move forward 107 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,139 with that retirement now, 108 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,475 and it sets up a political battle here 109 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,744 for President Biden, who will have the opportunity 110 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,346 to nominate a Supreme Court justice as a result. 111 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,515 Justice Stephen Breyer, the leading liberal 112 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,817 on the court, he will retire. 113 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,953 We're still not exactly sure of the timeline, 114 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:16,056 but, presumably, not until the end of this term, 115 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,292 which ends, usually, at the end of June. 116 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,361 This is big, y'all. Justice Breyer is retiring. 117 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,297 Yeah. Probably to focus more 118 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,866 on his ice cream brand. I don't know. 119 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,267 But, honestly, no one-- no one should be surprised 120 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,069 by this news, right? 121 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,772 It probably isn't fun being hounded all day 122 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,807 by people screaming at you to retire. 123 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,476 I mean, imagine it. Think about it. Everywhere this guy goes, 124 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,912 people are telling him he should be retiring. 125 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,447 He's probably in line at the grocery store 126 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,683 and people are like, "Retire, bitch!" 127 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,719 He's at Starbucks. The name on the cup is Retire Bitch. 128 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,487 He's at the synagogue and the rabbi is like, 129 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,090 "Baruch ata, retire, bitch." 130 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,092 And right now, a lot of Democrats are relieved. 131 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,894 But I don't know, people. 132 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,629 I feel like the only winner here is gonna be Mitch McConnell. 133 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,464 Maybe I'm just scarred. 134 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,399 Yeah. Because even though the Republicans 135 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,168 don't control the Senate, don't be shocked, 136 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,137 don't be shocked when Mitch still makes it happen. 137 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,405 He's just gonna come out like, 138 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,441 "Muh, it's a longstanding Senate tradition 139 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,077 "that we cannot confirm a Supreme Court justice 140 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:13,447 "in a year where there's a new season of Ozark on Netflix. 141 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,048 "Muh. 142 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,051 "We all got to watch it first and then process what happened. 143 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,354 That show is crazy. Shit. Muh." 144 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:24,057 Now, as to the speculation about who will replace Breyer, 145 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,660 President Biden has already promised 146 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,861 that, if he gets the chance, 147 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,364 he's going to nominate a Black woman 148 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,799 to the Supreme Court. 149 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,067 Which, you got to admit, that's gonna be 150 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,069 a really powerful moment. 151 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,538 You know? He's giving that speech. 152 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,873 It's gonna be really special. 153 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,576 Until he says that she's "the finest Negro judge 154 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,511 "of the Negro Leagues... (muttering) 155 00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,180 "Come on, man. 156 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,347 Come on, man." 157 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,583 Um, well, you know, Trevor, 158 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,952 if we're gonna go racial with the Supreme Court judge thing, 159 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,521 uh, I just want to point out there that, uh, 160 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,191 Asian Americans have a really strong history 161 00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,127 of jurisprudence in America. I mean... 162 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,029 O.J. Simpson trial. 163 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,298 That was us, man. Judge Ito. 164 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,732 GOAT. 165 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,734 He did that stuff, if you liked that outcome. 166 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,603 Also, I don't know how many times I have to say this 167 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,605 on the show, but... 168 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,808 I... have a law degree. 169 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,143 And, also, 170 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,579 I am extremely judgy. 171 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,047 You know what I mean? I judge everything. 172 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,482 Like, from the moment I wake up, I'm judging everyone. 173 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,951 I'm judging you right now. 174 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,886 Like your suit, that's-- what is that, polka dots? 175 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,154 That looks like shit. 176 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,923 -(laughter) -I'd be perfect for this role. 177 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,326 You know what I'm saying? Also, in America, 178 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,828 there's only two jobs with lifetime appointments-- 179 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,363 that's the host of Price is Right 180 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,065 and Supreme Court judge, 181 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,200 which means you can't get fired, Trevor. 182 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,069 Do you know how much shit I would talk 183 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,537 if I couldn't get fired? 184 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,073 -No, no, tell me, Ronny. -I would talk so much shit. 185 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,342 -Yeah? -I would be so much more free to express myself. 186 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,310 And isn't that what being America is about? 187 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,212 Being free? 188 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,814 Yeah. I would love to know all the things 189 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,382 you have to say about me when you're free. 190 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,519 I mean, considering what you say about me when you're... 191 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,087 -held back. -Exactly. 192 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,422 So let's work to make this happen. 193 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,092 Biden, I'm available. 194 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,693 I'd like to announce my candidacy 195 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,596 for Supreme Court of the United States. 196 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,199 Vote for me on Twitter. 197 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,370 Thank you, Ronny. And that's a powerful statement. 198 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,039 It's not polka dots. They're little, like... 199 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,307 squiggly things. 200 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,675 Okay, they look like shit. 201 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,343 Anyway, let's move on 202 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,213 to the big entertainment story everyone's talking about today. 203 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,048 It's about Disney movies, 204 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,449 which everyone loves, right? 205 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,952 We all love Disney movies, especially the classics. 206 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,954 They're the reason that we all believe in true love 207 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,523 and all hate our stepmothers. 208 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,258 And Disney loves remaking those films, 209 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:42,229 because Disney really understands the value of money. 210 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,364 But as the originals get remade, 211 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,832 people start to notice things 212 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,769 that don't quite work in the modern era, 213 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,405 as one famous actor just pointed out. 214 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,674 NEWSWOMAN: Walt Disney Studios on the defensive 215 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,075 following harsh criticism 216 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,277 by Emmy-winning actor Peter Dinklage 217 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,880 over the upcoming live-action adaptation 218 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,217 of the 1937 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 219 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,420 starring West Side Story actress Rachel Zegler. 220 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,764 Yeah. 221 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,766 Still Snow white, yeah. 222 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,240 Oh, a backward... (laughs) 223 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,379 NEWSWOMAN: Disney releasing a statement, responding 224 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,515 to the backlash, writing in part... 225 00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,361 Ooh, boy. 226 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,796 All right, let me start by saying this. 227 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,399 From the beginning, I am not a dwarf, 228 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,369 so if Peter Dinklage says that this is a problem, 229 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:56,803 I'm not going to say that he's wrong. 230 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,273 Because I've never watched Snow White 231 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,276 and found the dwarves offensive, right? 232 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:05,812 But I do understand what he's talking about. 233 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,748 I genuinely do. 234 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:11,218 Because if that movie was called Snow White and the Seven Blacks, 235 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,320 I mean, that would be weird. 236 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,821 And you could tell me, 237 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,457 "Oh, Trevor, no, the Blacks are actually the heroes. 238 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,760 It's still a... it's-it's a great story." 239 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,261 Let me tell you something. Yo, man, 240 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,565 that's still a white lady and her friendly Blacks. 241 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,099 It still set off my Spidey sense. 242 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,601 And look, I wish... 243 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,403 I wish Disney the best of luck in this thing. 244 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,706 Personally, I wouldn't touch the story with a ten-foot pole. 245 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:37,945 Yeah, because it's still seven dwarves living in the forest. 246 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,847 And I don't think it's a great idea. 247 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,181 And that's not even the biggest issue of all. 248 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,517 Because don't forget, the whole story revolves 249 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,087 around a woman being drugged, and then some dude comes 250 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,890 and kisses her without her consent. 251 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,259 And I know Bill Cosby is now available for the role, 252 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,061 but that's not the point. 253 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,530 I'm just saying this thing is, uh, you know? 254 00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,200 Yeah, well, look, Trevor, can we just give Disney a chance, 255 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,303 and let's judge the movie after it gets made? 256 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,906 I mean, they've... Disney has had a good history lately 257 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,341 of, like, updating things 258 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:10,177 and making characters three-dimensional 259 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,347 and bad guys good, right? Like, look at Cruella. 260 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,883 -Right? From 101 Dalmatians. -Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 261 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:19,653 Literally, "the cruel devil" is her name, 262 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,221 and she kills puppies. 263 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,824 And then, they put Emma Stone in there in the prequel. 264 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,394 -It turns out some puppies killed her mom. -Yeah. 265 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,396 And then you go, "Oh, now I know why you were killing puppies 266 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,465 in the second thing," so I'm just saying, give them a chance. 267 00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:35,402 Anyway, let's talk about Joe Rogan, 268 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,538 the king of podcasts 269 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,706 and Aaron Rodgers' personal physician. 270 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,208 Whatever you think about him, 271 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,676 Rogan is one of the most influential voices 272 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,178 in America right now, 273 00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:45,946 because 11 million people listen to his show. 274 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,248 11 million people. Yeah. 275 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,752 And some of what they hear is a little suspect, right? 276 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,954 You know, whether it's misinformation about COVID, 277 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:57,024 or whatever was happening here. 278 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,959 -What did Michael Eric Dyson call you? -Prejudiced. 279 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,695 -A mean, angry, white man? -Mean and... mean, yeah. 280 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,231 -And a mean, angry, white man. Yeah. -Hilarious. 281 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,766 -Yeah, yeah. Yeah. -You're not mean at all. 282 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,534 -It's, uh... -I am white. 283 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,802 -Actually, that's a lie, too. -(laughing) 284 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,238 I'm kind of tan, and he was actually not Black. 285 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,973 -He was sort of... -If you're tan, what the (bleep) am I? 286 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,242 Black and white thing is so strange because the shades 287 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,777 -are so... -Yeah, it's like tan and brown. 288 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,712 There's such a spectrum of shades of people. 289 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:22,716 Unless you're talking to someone who is, like, 100% African 290 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,418 from the darkest place 291 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,286 where they're not wearing any clothes all day, 292 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,989 and they've developed all that melanin to protect themselves 293 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,926 from the sun, you know, even the term "Black" is weird. 294 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,901 Oh, my God. 295 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,103 I'm not Black. 296 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,340 I'm not Black. 297 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:51,345 Joe Rogan's right. I'm like a caramel mocha Frappuccino. 298 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,914 This... Yo, this changes everything! 299 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,516 This changes everything! 300 00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,451 (footsteps running) 301 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,587 (siren blaring) 302 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,190 The police said I'm Black. 303 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,293 But yeah, apparently Joe Rogan really wants to know 304 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,495 why they say "Black people" 305 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,864 if they're not the color of a sharpie. 306 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,901 And this actually is a common question. 307 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,069 Yeah. In fact, when my brother was five years old, 308 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,804 he asked me the exact same thing. 309 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,806 And I know a lot of people are upset about this, 310 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,142 but look at the upside: at least Joe Rogan 311 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,810 wasn't talking about vaccines. 312 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,979 So that is a step in the right direction, right? 313 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,281 Let's acknowledge that. 314 00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:29,316 You know? What was weird about this whole thing 315 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,585 was Rogan's guest, though, Jordan Peterson saying that 316 00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:34,421 his skin is actually tan. 317 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,891 My man, you're not tan. 318 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,594 Like, that guy is... that's white. 319 00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,596 If anyone buys skin tanner 320 00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:44,631 and they end up looking like Jordan Peterson, 321 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,500 they should sue the company. 322 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,901 Have you seen his skin color? 323 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,003 Like, he could be Snow White. 324 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,972 The thing that these guys seem to be ignoring 325 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,174 is that Black people didn't call themselves Black. 326 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,776 You understand that, right? 327 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,778 It's not like Black people were like, "We're Black." 328 00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,681 No, in Africa, we have tribes, we have cultures-- 329 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,383 Zulu, Xhosa, Baganda, Igbo, 330 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,052 Wakandans. 331 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,187 But then white people got there, and they're like: 332 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,489 "Wow, there's a lot of Black people here. 333 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,358 Lot of Black people." 334 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,894 Yeah, then in America, they invented a rule 335 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,197 that if you had one drop of Black blood in you, 336 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,665 that makes you Black. 337 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,568 Which defined how you were treated by the government 338 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,203 and by society. 339 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,906 Even vampires wouldn't bite you. 340 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,241 Look, I thirst for their blood, 341 00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,343 but I'm applying for a mortgage. I can't risk it. 342 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,778 You know what, Trevor? I mean, look, 343 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,447 Joe is right, man. 344 00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:35,449 I got to agree with him on this one. 345 00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,918 Race is fluid. 346 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,419 Like, what is race? 347 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,457 Like, one time I put on, like, a Korean charcoal face mask, 348 00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,726 and I felt kind of Asian until I put it on, 349 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,461 and then I realized it was blackface, 350 00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,129 and then I started thinking: Hey, man, 351 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,164 I can really empathize with the struggle. 352 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,100 And as soon as I said that out loud, 353 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,269 I got cancelled, which made me feel white, 354 00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,337 I had to start from the bottom of showbiz again, 355 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,373 which made me feel Asian, so right there I had, like, 356 00:13:59,473 --> 00:14:00,908 five different racial experiences 357 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,110 in the course of, like, ten minutes, all right? 358 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,312 And so, like, what is race? 359 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,415 I'm gonna chalk this up to the COVID. 360 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,950 (stammering): Uh... whatever, man. 361 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,854 I'm just saying, race is fluid, man. 362 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,322 I feel you there, Ronny. 363 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,823 All right, that's it for the headlines. 364 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,959 Don't go away, because when we come back, 365 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,828 we're gonna tell you how to get rich. 366 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,597 You don't want to miss it. 367 00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:26,270 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 368 00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:27,772 Let's talk about Congress. 369 00:14:27,872 --> 00:14:29,240 It's the number one tourist destination 370 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:31,275 for people trying to hang Mike Pence. 371 00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,978 Now, you may not know this, but most members of Congress 372 00:14:34,078 --> 00:14:35,780 are forced to scrape by 373 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,317 on a measly $200,000-a-year salary, 374 00:14:39,417 --> 00:14:40,885 which, when you think about it, 375 00:14:40,985 --> 00:14:43,387 is barely enough to afford a good prostitute. 376 00:14:43,488 --> 00:14:46,457 So, naturally, they need to supplement their income 377 00:14:46,557 --> 00:14:48,659 by investing in the stock market. 378 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,528 It's a natural thing. 379 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,530 But if you can believe it, 380 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,699 there's now a new movement in Congress 381 00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:58,903 to stop members from trading stocks altogether. 382 00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:00,972 It's rare these days for this divided Congress 383 00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:02,607 to agree on absolutely anything, 384 00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:05,309 but there may be one issue. 385 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:08,379 It has the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 386 00:15:08,479 --> 00:15:12,216 and Kevin McCarthy on the same side. 387 00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:14,152 They're both among members of Congress 388 00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:15,820 pushing for new restrictions 389 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,356 on how lawmakers trade stocks. 390 00:15:18,456 --> 00:15:19,991 NEWSWOMAN: Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff 391 00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:23,161 just released a bill tonight that would force lawmakers 392 00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,296 to put their assets into a blind trust 393 00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:28,332 or pay a fine of their entire salary. 394 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:31,402 GOP Senator Josh Hawley is working on a version, too, 395 00:15:31,502 --> 00:15:34,338 and in the House, there's already a bipartisan bill 396 00:15:34,439 --> 00:15:36,174 called the TRUST in Congress Act. 397 00:15:36,307 --> 00:15:37,408 NEWSMAN: This comes only a few weeks 398 00:15:37,508 --> 00:15:39,811 after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi doubled down 399 00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:42,480 on members' right to invest in the stock market. 400 00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:50,888 No, I don't... No to the second one. 401 00:15:50,988 --> 00:15:52,924 This is a free market, and people... 402 00:15:53,024 --> 00:15:55,193 We're a free market economy. 403 00:15:55,326 --> 00:15:57,728 They should be able to participate in that. 404 00:15:57,829 --> 00:16:00,531 Okay, well, uh, first of all, I can't believe there's an issue 405 00:16:00,631 --> 00:16:03,668 that AOC and Kevin McCarthy agree on. 406 00:16:03,768 --> 00:16:05,336 Those people don't agree on anything 407 00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:08,439 except that those kids on Euphoria are way too horny. 408 00:16:08,539 --> 00:16:10,041 Don't you guys have homework? 409 00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:11,876 I'm pretty sure you can't put "cocaine" 410 00:16:11,976 --> 00:16:13,411 on a college application. 411 00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:16,681 And, by the way, this bill is quite a move 412 00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:19,417 for a new senator like Jon Ossoff. 413 00:16:19,517 --> 00:16:22,086 Think about it. The guy just got to the Senate, 414 00:16:22,186 --> 00:16:25,156 and he's already coming after the wallets of his coworkers? 415 00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:27,759 It's like showing up to prison on your first day 416 00:16:27,859 --> 00:16:29,293 and being like, "Hey, Warden, 417 00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:32,363 I think these guys are using spoons to dig something." 418 00:16:32,463 --> 00:16:34,432 But the question still is why do so many representatives 419 00:16:34,532 --> 00:16:35,733 from across the political spectrum 420 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,302 want to ban Congress from trading stocks? 421 00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:41,072 And why is Nancy Pelosi against that? 422 00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:43,474 Well, let's find out in another installment 423 00:16:43,574 --> 00:16:46,110 of If You Don't Know, Now You Know. 424 00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,312 ♪ ♪ 425 00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,887 The first thing to know is that historically, 426 00:16:55,987 --> 00:16:58,790 Congress has had no restrictions when it comes to trading stocks. 427 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,391 For most of American history, 428 00:17:00,491 --> 00:17:02,527 insider trading laws that affected CEOs 429 00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:04,962 didn't apply to members of Congress. 430 00:17:05,062 --> 00:17:09,333 So, if Thomas Edison testified behind closed doors, 431 00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:12,403 senators could just call up their broker going, 432 00:17:12,503 --> 00:17:13,971 "Dump all my shares in candles. 433 00:17:14,072 --> 00:17:15,940 That shit's over, I tell you." 434 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,842 You see, they could use all of this advanced secret knowledge 435 00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:19,177 to make money for themselves. 436 00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:21,479 And it was illegal for everyone else to do it, 437 00:17:21,579 --> 00:17:24,816 but for some reason, Congress could. 438 00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,617 I mean, it may have something to do with the fact 439 00:17:26,717 --> 00:17:28,486 they were making the laws. Who knows? 440 00:17:28,586 --> 00:17:30,888 So it's no surprise that members of Congress 441 00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,657 have been really good 442 00:17:32,757 --> 00:17:34,492 at timing the stock market. 443 00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:36,094 Economists have studied the portfolios 444 00:17:36,194 --> 00:17:37,361 of members of Congress and find 445 00:17:37,462 --> 00:17:39,697 they systematically outperform the stock market. 446 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,933 NEWSMAN: A study of data from the 1990s showed 447 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:45,603 senators' trades outperformed the market by 12% per year. 448 00:17:45,703 --> 00:17:48,172 That crushes investment guru Warren Buffett, 449 00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:51,609 who only managed to beat the market by 2.5% that decade. 450 00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:54,011 NEWSMAN 2: The 2008 financial crisis turned out to be 451 00:17:54,112 --> 00:17:57,048 a free-for-all for insider trading on Capitol Hill. 452 00:17:57,148 --> 00:17:59,317 According to a Washington Post exposé, 453 00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:01,619 35 members cashed out on information 454 00:18:01,719 --> 00:18:02,854 they received from meetings 455 00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:05,389 with Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and others. 456 00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,591 NEWSMAN 3: One of those attending 457 00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:09,193 was Alabama Representative Spencer Bachus. 458 00:18:09,327 --> 00:18:11,696 While Congressman Bachus was publicly trying 459 00:18:11,796 --> 00:18:13,698 to keep the economy from cratering, 460 00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:16,033 he was privately betting that it would, 461 00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:19,003 buying option funds that would go up in value 462 00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,805 if the market went down. 463 00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:23,341 He would make a variety of trades and profit 464 00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:26,277 at a time when most Americans were losing their shirts. 465 00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,946 Now, look, I know seeing politicians profit off 466 00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:31,282 of an economic meltdown might make you angry, 467 00:18:31,349 --> 00:18:34,752 but-- don't forget-- they suffered, too. 468 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,688 Do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend to be sad 469 00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,490 when you're making bank? 470 00:18:39,590 --> 00:18:41,292 They had to give speeches 471 00:18:41,325 --> 00:18:44,729 while fighting the urge to do the Dougie live on camera. 472 00:18:45,696 --> 00:18:47,298 And, obviously, something fishy is going on 473 00:18:47,398 --> 00:18:48,933 when members of Congress are doing better 474 00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:52,303 in the stock market than Warren Buffett! 475 00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,305 I mean, it definitely makes those fundraising emails 476 00:18:54,338 --> 00:18:55,506 even more annoying. 477 00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:58,009 "I need five dollars by midnight." 478 00:18:58,109 --> 00:18:59,610 Bitch, go talk to your E-Trade! 479 00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:00,878 what are you talking to me for? 480 00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,313 I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just jealous. 481 00:19:02,346 --> 00:19:03,948 Maybe I'm just jealous. 'Cause, members of Congress, 482 00:19:04,048 --> 00:19:05,883 they get all the coolest secrets, you know? 483 00:19:05,983 --> 00:19:07,351 Which stocks to buy. 484 00:19:07,452 --> 00:19:09,153 Who the CIA is killing. 485 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,955 Where they're keeping the aliens. 486 00:19:11,055 --> 00:19:13,458 Every other workplace has stupid secrets. 487 00:19:13,558 --> 00:19:16,394 Like, my coolest secret right now at the show 488 00:19:16,494 --> 00:19:18,830 is that our producer Shelley is pregnant 489 00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:21,132 and she's gonna surprise her husband on Valentine's Day. 490 00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:23,134 (singsongy): Boring. 491 00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:26,537 But when people found out 492 00:19:26,637 --> 00:19:29,040 about congressmen making money off of the financial crash, 493 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:30,508 there was a big enough outcry 494 00:19:30,608 --> 00:19:33,478 that Congress was finally shamed into regulating themselves. 495 00:19:33,578 --> 00:19:35,480 They passed the STOCK Act, 496 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,281 which banned members of Congress 497 00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:39,650 from trading stocks based on private information 498 00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:42,153 and forced them to publicly disclose 499 00:19:42,286 --> 00:19:44,856 all their trades within 45 days. 500 00:19:44,956 --> 00:19:47,125 But it turns out that legislation 501 00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,927 is like most members of Congress before bed-- 502 00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:51,696 completely toothless. 503 00:19:51,796 --> 00:19:54,165 It is certainly illegal for members of Congress 504 00:19:54,298 --> 00:19:56,901 to partake in insider trading. 505 00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,804 Uh, proving that, uh, is very difficult. 506 00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:02,407 If you want to nail 'em on insider trading, good luck. 507 00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:04,208 You could essentially say, "Listen, 508 00:20:04,308 --> 00:20:06,611 "I was reasonably told by my broker I should sell 509 00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:08,613 or I heard similar stuff from a third party." 510 00:20:08,713 --> 00:20:11,682 DoJ has yet to successfully convict 511 00:20:11,783 --> 00:20:14,952 an elected member of Congress based on this law. 512 00:20:15,052 --> 00:20:17,555 Even if the law is followed, 513 00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:19,023 it barely has any teeth. 514 00:20:19,123 --> 00:20:22,393 Nearly 50 lawmakers, both Republicans and Democrats, 515 00:20:22,493 --> 00:20:24,829 and nearly 200 of their staffers 516 00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:27,432 have repeatedly violated the STOCK Act 517 00:20:27,532 --> 00:20:29,066 with almost no consequences. 518 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,969 You can make tens of millions of dollars 519 00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:34,505 with privileged information, and what's the penalty 520 00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:36,307 for failing to report these purchases? 521 00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:39,277 It's a joke. It's as low as $200. 522 00:20:39,343 --> 00:20:43,147 Ooh. $200 is the penalty? 523 00:20:43,281 --> 00:20:45,283 I mean, look, I'm-I'm no math expert, 524 00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:48,419 but if I have to pay a $200 fine 525 00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:52,190 to make a trade that earns me millions of dollars, 526 00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,792 I feel like I'm coming out ahead. 527 00:20:54,892 --> 00:20:57,295 Like, I'm making a thousand dollars in profit 528 00:20:57,361 --> 00:20:59,330 at least, right? 529 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,566 $200 is not a penalty, people. 530 00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:03,167 That's the chip you throw to the dealer 531 00:21:03,301 --> 00:21:04,902 after you win the poker tournament. 532 00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:06,671 Hell, you lose $200 533 00:21:06,771 --> 00:21:09,774 just carrying the million dollars to the bank. 534 00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:12,310 So it turns it out that the STOCK Act is just another one 535 00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,345 of those laws that no one enforces, you know? 536 00:21:14,445 --> 00:21:17,815 Like jaywalking or pushing all the buttons in an elevator. 537 00:21:17,915 --> 00:21:20,451 And don't forget, it's really hard to prove insider trading. 538 00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:22,320 You can just say you weren't even paying attention 539 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,255 during that private briefing that you got, 540 00:21:24,288 --> 00:21:25,656 which, as a member of Congress, 541 00:21:25,757 --> 00:21:27,825 is actually a very believable alibi. 542 00:21:27,925 --> 00:21:32,597 So the STOCK Act really did nothing to stop insider trading. 543 00:21:32,697 --> 00:21:34,732 Like, remember, remember how those congressmen 544 00:21:34,832 --> 00:21:37,602 sold those stocks before the crash in 2008? 545 00:21:37,702 --> 00:21:40,571 Well, the same thing happened again a couple of years ago 546 00:21:40,671 --> 00:21:42,006 before COVID hit. 547 00:21:42,106 --> 00:21:44,275 Yeah, multiple senators dumped their stocks 548 00:21:44,308 --> 00:21:46,377 after intelligence officials told them 549 00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:47,945 in a private briefing that all 550 00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,680 of those coughing people in China were about 551 00:21:49,781 --> 00:21:54,018 to tank the world economy, and still, no one got punished. 552 00:21:54,118 --> 00:21:56,053 Which is why, even after the STOCK Act, 553 00:21:56,154 --> 00:21:58,790 members of Congress continued to do so well 554 00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:01,692 that some of them have their own financial groupies. 555 00:22:01,793 --> 00:22:05,163 And no one has more than Nancy Pelosi. 556 00:22:05,296 --> 00:22:08,032 Some TikTokers are getting stock market ideas 557 00:22:08,132 --> 00:22:10,668 by tracking members of Congress, 558 00:22:10,768 --> 00:22:14,605 and one of their favorites is House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. 559 00:22:19,811 --> 00:22:23,314 Shout outs to Nancy Pelosi, the stock market's biggest whale. 560 00:22:23,381 --> 00:22:27,085 Apparently, she's decided to go very heavy in tech stocks. 561 00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:29,087 I'm gonna show you guys which ones she bought. 562 00:22:29,253 --> 00:22:31,255 MAN 3: The queen of investing just spent $300,000 563 00:22:31,289 --> 00:22:32,824 on this one stock. 564 00:22:32,924 --> 00:22:35,059 So I think I'll be picking up a couple shares on Monday. 565 00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:38,296 This stock's about to go crazy because Nancy Pelosi bought it. 566 00:22:38,396 --> 00:22:42,433 Yeah, that's right. Nancy Pelosi is a star on TikTok. 567 00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:44,669 And she didn't need to steal any Black people's dance moves 568 00:22:44,769 --> 00:22:46,337 to do it. That's amazing. 569 00:22:46,437 --> 00:22:48,973 In fact, I almost respect Pelosi's hustle. 570 00:22:49,073 --> 00:22:50,608 She's 81 years old. 571 00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:52,543 Most of her friends are probably playing 572 00:22:52,643 --> 00:22:55,079 the nickel stocks right now, but she Knows 573 00:22:55,179 --> 00:22:57,615 that it doesn't matter if it's casinos or Wall Street. 574 00:22:57,715 --> 00:23:00,084 The house always wins, baby. 575 00:23:00,184 --> 00:23:03,287 Now, has Pelosi been so successful 576 00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:04,889 because of inside information? 577 00:23:04,989 --> 00:23:06,190 There there's no way to know. 578 00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:09,193 But what's clear is that just being a member 579 00:23:09,293 --> 00:23:11,329 of Congress means that you'll probably know about 580 00:23:11,429 --> 00:23:15,867 the bad stuff that will crash a stock before the rest of us. 581 00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:18,102 Yeah. Whether it's a housing bubble 582 00:23:18,202 --> 00:23:20,605 or Elon Musk hosting SNL. 583 00:23:20,705 --> 00:23:22,673 And until members of Congress are banned from trading stocks, 584 00:23:22,774 --> 00:23:25,243 Congress will keep having an edge over regular people. 585 00:23:25,309 --> 00:23:27,445 And it'll all be completely legal 586 00:23:27,545 --> 00:23:29,280 or, at the very least, so unenforceable 587 00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:31,249 that it's legal by default. 588 00:23:31,349 --> 00:23:32,984 Which, you gotta admit, is such a smooth way 589 00:23:33,084 --> 00:23:35,119 to do corruption. You know? 590 00:23:35,253 --> 00:23:37,555 In fact, it's such a smooth way that leaders in 591 00:23:37,655 --> 00:23:40,758 other parts of the world are starting to take notice. 592 00:24:26,904 --> 00:24:27,939 Good. 593 00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:41,452 (groans) 594 00:24:47,592 --> 00:24:48,659 Oh! 595 00:24:52,029 --> 00:24:53,331 Aw... 596 00:24:58,369 --> 00:25:00,371 (cheering, laughing) 597 00:25:13,785 --> 00:25:15,820 (cheering, laughing) 598 00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:27,165 All right, when we come back, 599 00:25:27,298 --> 00:25:29,801 I will be talking to the hilarious Rick Glassman 600 00:25:29,901 --> 00:25:33,337 about a show that combines Autism and comedy. 601 00:25:33,438 --> 00:25:35,206 What? Stay tuned. 602 00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:39,210 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 603 00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:41,612 My guest tonight is comedian and actor Rick Glassman. 604 00:25:41,712 --> 00:25:43,581 He's here to talk about his new series 605 00:25:43,681 --> 00:25:46,818 that follows a trio of roommates on the autism spectrum 606 00:25:46,918 --> 00:25:50,354 as they navigate life, work and pursuing love. 607 00:25:50,455 --> 00:25:54,092 Is it obvious to everyone that I'm not normal? 608 00:25:54,192 --> 00:25:56,594 Am I not passing? 609 00:25:56,694 --> 00:25:57,895 I think you're normal. 610 00:25:57,995 --> 00:26:00,465 Do I have to talk about it with people now? 611 00:26:00,565 --> 00:26:01,866 -What if I don't want to? -Well, then don't. 612 00:26:01,966 --> 00:26:03,534 -I mean, it's entirely up to you. -I don't want to. 613 00:26:03,634 --> 00:26:05,636 Okay, then don't. 614 00:26:05,736 --> 00:26:08,406 I'm taking Ewatomi on a date, and I need it to go perfect. 615 00:26:08,506 --> 00:26:11,909 She needs to see that I can be normal. 616 00:26:12,009 --> 00:26:14,879 I think you just got to be yourself, Jack. 617 00:26:14,979 --> 00:26:17,148 Did you not hear a word I just said? 618 00:26:17,248 --> 00:26:19,083 Okay, listen. 619 00:26:19,183 --> 00:26:21,385 For what it's worth, 620 00:26:21,486 --> 00:26:24,122 I think you are such a beautiful person 621 00:26:24,222 --> 00:26:26,390 that you shouldn't have to hide who you are. 622 00:26:30,361 --> 00:26:32,363 That makes me want to throw up. 623 00:26:32,463 --> 00:26:34,499 (laughing) 624 00:26:37,268 --> 00:26:39,737 Oh, man. Rick Glassman, welcome to The Daily Show. 625 00:26:39,837 --> 00:26:42,807 -Thanks for having me. -Um, this is a really fun show. 626 00:26:42,907 --> 00:26:44,642 When people tell you about a show and they go, 627 00:26:44,675 --> 00:26:46,944 "This show is going to be about these people," 628 00:26:47,044 --> 00:26:48,846 you-you immediately think a few things. 629 00:26:48,946 --> 00:26:50,281 Doesn't matter who the people are. 630 00:26:50,381 --> 00:26:52,383 So, they go like, "This is going to be a Black show. 631 00:26:52,483 --> 00:26:54,886 "This is going to be a show about Africans. 632 00:26:54,986 --> 00:26:56,454 This is going to be a show about Europeans." 633 00:26:56,554 --> 00:26:58,423 You know what I mean? "This is gonna be a show about autism." 634 00:26:58,523 --> 00:27:00,057 -Yeah. -You go like, "Oh, what does that mean?" 635 00:27:00,158 --> 00:27:01,859 And then you watch the show, and you go like, 636 00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:03,060 "The people in the show 637 00:27:03,161 --> 00:27:04,495 "just happen to be dealing with autism. 638 00:27:04,662 --> 00:27:05,963 It's a show. It's a story." 639 00:27:06,063 --> 00:27:08,266 Incidentally, I thought our show was gonna be a Black show 640 00:27:08,366 --> 00:27:09,867 -until it came out. -(laughing) 641 00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:12,203 Um, and it's funny that you bring that up as an example. 642 00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:15,473 Um, yeah, it was a... it was a pleasure to-to do this. 643 00:27:15,573 --> 00:27:19,043 Uh, I was diagnosed with autism five years ago. 644 00:27:19,143 --> 00:27:22,246 -Okay. -And when I first found out, 645 00:27:22,346 --> 00:27:24,182 it was like a superpower. I was so excited. 646 00:27:24,282 --> 00:27:26,984 All these obstacles that I had in my life that were unrelated, 647 00:27:27,085 --> 00:27:29,053 patterns kind of started showing themselves, 648 00:27:29,153 --> 00:27:31,589 and I was like, "Oh, my God, this makes so much sense." 649 00:27:31,689 --> 00:27:34,125 And I... And I was reading up on it, 650 00:27:34,225 --> 00:27:35,426 and I found all these tools 651 00:27:35,526 --> 00:27:37,428 that I-I never developed, and I was so excited. 652 00:27:37,528 --> 00:27:39,497 And-and as I began to tell my friends, 653 00:27:39,630 --> 00:27:41,032 some people would be like, "Yeah, that makes sense" 654 00:27:41,132 --> 00:27:44,168 and some people would tell me, "That's not what autism is." 655 00:27:45,136 --> 00:27:47,305 And I got in a really bad depression 656 00:27:47,405 --> 00:27:49,440 for a little over a year 'cause this identity 657 00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:50,842 that I wanted to take on, 658 00:27:50,942 --> 00:27:52,677 I-I didn't understand how to explain. 659 00:27:52,777 --> 00:27:54,112 -Wow, that's fascinating. -Does that make sense? 660 00:27:54,212 --> 00:27:55,246 -Yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. -Um... 661 00:27:55,346 --> 00:27:56,948 That makes a lot of sense. 662 00:27:57,048 --> 00:27:59,217 I'm learning new tools on how to speak to people 663 00:27:59,317 --> 00:28:00,518 and I'm figuring stuff out. 664 00:28:00,651 --> 00:28:02,754 Incidentally, this is my first... doing this, 665 00:28:02,854 --> 00:28:04,088 a late-night show and an interview. 666 00:28:04,188 --> 00:28:07,191 And when I booked the show, I was so nervous 667 00:28:07,291 --> 00:28:10,328 about this moment, because I didn't want to be obligated 668 00:28:10,428 --> 00:28:11,929 to be a spokesperson about a thing 669 00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:13,731 that I was still learning about myself. 670 00:28:13,831 --> 00:28:15,700 -Oh, man, that's deep. -And... 671 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,935 -Thank you. -That's really deep. No, for real. 672 00:28:18,035 --> 00:28:20,171 But then I do the show and-- 673 00:28:20,271 --> 00:28:22,440 -I had one autistic friend before the show. -Okay. 674 00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:24,308 I do the show and-- And there's a quote that I love. 675 00:28:24,409 --> 00:28:25,977 It's Dr. Stephen Shore. He said if you've met one person 676 00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,146 with autism, it means you've met one person with autism. 677 00:28:28,246 --> 00:28:29,547 -I love that quote. -I love that, too, 678 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,383 'cause it made me feel like I don't have to explain... 679 00:28:32,483 --> 00:28:34,852 who I am. I could just be it and... 680 00:28:34,952 --> 00:28:36,187 I'm accepted or I'm not. 681 00:28:36,287 --> 00:28:39,390 And, um, what I found is, is, once I got my diagnosis, 682 00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:40,658 it did two things for me. 683 00:28:40,758 --> 00:28:42,760 Internally, it allowed me to better communicate 684 00:28:42,860 --> 00:28:44,362 -and teach people how to communicate with me. -Okay. 685 00:28:44,462 --> 00:28:45,963 Uh, I would often say, "Listen, if you think I'm weird, 686 00:28:46,063 --> 00:28:47,932 just tell me. I-I'm not gonna pick up on it." 687 00:28:48,032 --> 00:28:49,667 You know? Just-- If-if I'm being annoying, 688 00:28:49,767 --> 00:28:51,102 give me the benefit of the doubt and just say, 689 00:28:51,202 --> 00:28:52,737 "Rick, slow down." 690 00:28:52,837 --> 00:28:54,305 -But did anyone do that? -Oh, yeah. 691 00:28:54,405 --> 00:28:55,873 You give 'em that-that opportunity, 692 00:28:55,973 --> 00:28:57,442 it lets them feel safe, 693 00:28:57,542 --> 00:29:00,244 so safe, that they don't even care. 694 00:29:00,344 --> 00:29:01,412 "Oh, I-- 695 00:29:01,512 --> 00:29:03,014 Yeah, he told me about this. It's fine." 696 00:29:03,114 --> 00:29:05,349 That's really interesting. I-I wonder if it's because, 697 00:29:05,450 --> 00:29:07,885 in a way, being vulnerable with a person 698 00:29:07,985 --> 00:29:11,355 makes them comfortable being vulnerable back with you. 699 00:29:11,456 --> 00:29:14,425 So if you feel like somebody's being "weird," 700 00:29:14,525 --> 00:29:16,327 it's hard to say that because you don't know how you feel. 701 00:29:16,427 --> 00:29:17,795 You don't-- you don't want to hurt the per-- 702 00:29:17,895 --> 00:29:19,363 You don't want to say the thing. It-- There is a vulnerability 703 00:29:19,464 --> 00:29:21,365 in coming with telling somebody how you feel 704 00:29:21,466 --> 00:29:22,834 about how they're making you feel. 705 00:29:22,934 --> 00:29:24,302 And so if you put yourself in the position where you go, like, 706 00:29:24,402 --> 00:29:27,171 "Hey, I'm actually the person that has an 'issue,'" 707 00:29:27,271 --> 00:29:29,941 they then go, like, "Oh, they have other issues" 708 00:29:30,041 --> 00:29:31,375 and then they just go, "I'm comfortable now." 709 00:29:31,476 --> 00:29:33,377 What I've learned is-- at least this has helped, 710 00:29:33,478 --> 00:29:35,880 -like, my self-worth is... -Okay. 711 00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:37,415 Like you said, everyone has an issue. 712 00:29:37,515 --> 00:29:39,183 But the issue, if you have a problem with me, 713 00:29:39,283 --> 00:29:40,651 isn't the thing I'm doing. 714 00:29:40,752 --> 00:29:42,153 -I mean, if I'm punching you, maybe. -Yes. 715 00:29:42,253 --> 00:29:44,722 But it's the one little thing of the lack of connection. 716 00:29:44,822 --> 00:29:46,257 -It's the communication. -Right. 717 00:29:46,357 --> 00:29:48,726 And people don't want to say, "Why are you doing that?" 718 00:29:48,826 --> 00:29:50,027 They'd rather just assume that, like, "Ah, okay." 719 00:29:50,128 --> 00:29:51,496 Well, we try to be polite, and that's what... 720 00:29:51,629 --> 00:29:53,197 -And that's not polite. -Yeah, but we think it's polite. 721 00:29:53,297 --> 00:29:54,732 That's what I love about the show. 722 00:29:54,832 --> 00:29:56,734 -You're meeting individuals, you're meeting people. -Yeah. 723 00:29:56,834 --> 00:29:58,636 You know, the character you play is very different 724 00:29:58,736 --> 00:30:01,005 to the characters that some of your castmates are playing. 725 00:30:01,105 --> 00:30:02,373 And you're seeing different spectrums. 726 00:30:02,473 --> 00:30:03,741 You're seeing different characters. 727 00:30:03,841 --> 00:30:05,009 -You're seeing different obstacles in life. -Also... 728 00:30:05,109 --> 00:30:06,411 And that's what I love about the show. 729 00:30:06,511 --> 00:30:07,945 -But most importantly, can I say this? -Yes. 730 00:30:08,045 --> 00:30:09,447 It's funny, and it's heartwarming. 731 00:30:09,547 --> 00:30:12,083 People are telling a story about people who have to... 732 00:30:12,183 --> 00:30:15,520 happen to have autism, and they have autism in real life. 733 00:30:15,653 --> 00:30:18,523 There were characters that I met on set cause all the peop... 734 00:30:18,656 --> 00:30:20,925 neurodiverse characters are played by neurodiverse actors. 735 00:30:21,025 --> 00:30:23,995 -Okay. -Also, there was one actor who has autism 736 00:30:24,095 --> 00:30:25,430 that played a neurotypical person. 737 00:30:25,530 --> 00:30:26,798 I'm meeting most of these people 738 00:30:26,898 --> 00:30:28,733 in the character they're playing, 739 00:30:28,833 --> 00:30:31,669 -and that's... their autism. -Okay. 740 00:30:31,736 --> 00:30:34,572 And then cut, and I meet a completely different person, 741 00:30:34,672 --> 00:30:36,607 and it's... It was just so... 742 00:30:36,674 --> 00:30:37,942 That's why I love that quote-- "You meet one person." 743 00:30:38,042 --> 00:30:39,911 I mean, for every person I met on set, 744 00:30:40,011 --> 00:30:42,046 I met two people with autism-- their representation of it, 745 00:30:42,146 --> 00:30:43,614 -and then who they really were. -Damn. 746 00:30:43,714 --> 00:30:45,149 And it made me feel so good. 747 00:30:45,249 --> 00:30:47,051 And also, this is... This just happened a few days ago, 748 00:30:47,151 --> 00:30:48,486 and I almost want to check it, but it's fine. 749 00:30:48,619 --> 00:30:50,755 We won't say names. But there's a friend of mine 750 00:30:50,855 --> 00:30:53,357 -who was an ex-girlfriend. -Okay. 751 00:30:53,458 --> 00:30:55,760 Um... we're okay? We have time for this story? 752 00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,462 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go, go, go ahead, go ahead. -Um... 753 00:30:57,628 --> 00:30:59,030 If we don't have time, I'll just cut it out. 754 00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,333 -You'll leave it. Um... -(laughter) 755 00:31:02,433 --> 00:31:06,104 A friend of mine, uh, I was dating, 756 00:31:06,204 --> 00:31:09,841 and, um, I went to her hometown. 757 00:31:09,941 --> 00:31:12,510 This was nine years ago, uh, pre-diagnosis. 758 00:31:12,643 --> 00:31:15,646 And there were a couple of obstacles with the mom 759 00:31:15,747 --> 00:31:16,848 -that I didn't know were happening. -Okay. 760 00:31:16,948 --> 00:31:18,850 -All right. -Small example is, 761 00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:21,052 I only had a few things to do laundry, and I was gonna do 'em, 762 00:31:21,152 --> 00:31:22,487 but that's a waste. I'll... 763 00:31:22,653 --> 00:31:23,855 She said, "I'll do all the laundry." 764 00:31:23,955 --> 00:31:25,656 I'm like, "I'll-I'll... I'd like to do my own." 765 00:31:25,757 --> 00:31:26,991 "Please, let me." 766 00:31:27,091 --> 00:31:28,392 She was gonna wash it with these purple sheets 767 00:31:28,493 --> 00:31:30,328 that I knew had never washed before, and I'm like, 768 00:31:30,428 --> 00:31:32,663 "Well, that shirt... Have the sheets been washed before?" 769 00:31:32,730 --> 00:31:34,432 She thinks I'm saying she doesn't know how to do laundry. 770 00:31:34,532 --> 00:31:36,601 I'm thinking I'm just trying to save my shorts. 771 00:31:36,667 --> 00:31:38,002 A lot of things kept happening. 772 00:31:38,102 --> 00:31:39,437 Uh, then there was a moment where 773 00:31:39,604 --> 00:31:42,473 my f... my girlfriend at the time was at her neighbor's, 774 00:31:42,607 --> 00:31:43,474 so it was just the mom and me, 775 00:31:43,608 --> 00:31:44,409 and we're making hot dogs, 776 00:31:44,509 --> 00:31:45,643 and, great-- And I took a look, 777 00:31:45,743 --> 00:31:47,612 and the hot dogs were purple, which was odd. 778 00:31:47,678 --> 00:31:49,480 So I didn't want to ask anything, 779 00:31:49,614 --> 00:31:51,983 -because I've had a lot of purple drama already. -Right. 780 00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:54,385 So I look in the garbage to see, just, 781 00:31:54,485 --> 00:31:56,187 had they expired, or what brand. 782 00:31:56,287 --> 00:31:58,156 -Maybe it's a purple hot dog. A fun hot dog. -You never know. 783 00:31:58,256 --> 00:31:59,957 You never know. You've got to ask. 784 00:32:00,057 --> 00:32:03,461 And the-the wrappers were under some garbage, 785 00:32:03,628 --> 00:32:04,829 which made me feel like, 786 00:32:04,929 --> 00:32:06,497 -"Is she hiding the..." -Is she hiding the wrapper. 787 00:32:06,631 --> 00:32:07,965 -"Is she hiding the wrapper? -On purpose or something, yeah. 788 00:32:08,065 --> 00:32:10,802 -So now I'm... it expired four years ago. -The hot dogs? 789 00:32:10,902 --> 00:32:13,037 The hot dogs expired four years ago. And they're hidden. 790 00:32:13,137 --> 00:32:15,306 So now I'm-- I-I-- What do I do? 791 00:32:15,406 --> 00:32:17,141 I don't know how to approach this, because I-I'm 792 00:32:17,241 --> 00:32:19,043 recognizing something is a little odd from that day. 793 00:32:19,143 --> 00:32:20,078 A little, yeah. 794 00:32:20,178 --> 00:32:21,012 So I just said, "Hey, you know what, 795 00:32:21,112 --> 00:32:22,080 I'm not gonna eat the hot dog." 796 00:32:22,180 --> 00:32:23,381 I don't need to give the details. 797 00:32:23,481 --> 00:32:24,715 I'm an adult. I get it. I can go around it, but 798 00:32:24,816 --> 00:32:26,918 she said, "Why?" So I told her the hot dogs are purple. 799 00:32:27,018 --> 00:32:28,386 And she said, 800 00:32:28,486 --> 00:32:30,488 "Well, they're fine." 801 00:32:30,655 --> 00:32:32,657 And I said, "They expired four years ago." 802 00:32:32,757 --> 00:32:34,192 And she said, "They were in the freezer." 803 00:32:34,292 --> 00:32:35,660 And I said, "Freezers aren't magic." 804 00:32:35,693 --> 00:32:37,061 And we're getting-- In my head, I think we're just having 805 00:32:37,161 --> 00:32:39,030 a fun debate on hot dogs, and she's like, "My daughter's gonna 806 00:32:39,130 --> 00:32:41,032 marry this guy that's nuts about this stuff. 807 00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:42,366 -Right. -Three days ago, 808 00:32:42,467 --> 00:32:44,969 my friend calls me that her mom called her crying. 809 00:32:45,069 --> 00:32:47,605 -"I'm on episode 7 of Rick's show." -Right. 810 00:32:47,672 --> 00:32:50,174 "I get it. I'm s-- I get it." 811 00:32:50,274 --> 00:32:52,076 And-and this idea of, like, 812 00:32:52,176 --> 00:32:54,512 it lets people in on, "Oh, if you just realize that 813 00:32:54,612 --> 00:32:57,849 these people are..." Not worse-- but just, say, 814 00:32:57,949 --> 00:32:59,083 speak a different language. 815 00:32:59,183 --> 00:33:00,151 -Yes. -Their hot dogs are a different color. 816 00:33:00,251 --> 00:33:01,319 Right. 817 00:33:01,419 --> 00:33:03,521 And it took watching a show of me playing a-- 818 00:33:03,621 --> 00:33:06,324 someone I'm not, for her to see who I was nine years ago. 819 00:33:06,424 --> 00:33:08,025 And it just, like, let something loose that-- 820 00:33:08,126 --> 00:33:10,528 and this is maybe selfish or a corny thing to say-- 821 00:33:10,628 --> 00:33:11,996 but, like, I'm part of this show 822 00:33:12,096 --> 00:33:15,032 that isn't just making people that I've never met be like, 823 00:33:15,133 --> 00:33:16,734 "Oh, good, there's some representation of, like, 824 00:33:16,834 --> 00:33:17,635 -the realities of some of this." -Yeah. 825 00:33:17,735 --> 00:33:19,537 It happened to me. 826 00:33:19,637 --> 00:33:22,140 And, like, you needed me to do this show... -(laughing) 827 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,509 ...As We See It, on Amazon Prime, streaming now... 828 00:33:24,642 --> 00:33:25,376 NOAH: (laughing) 829 00:33:25,476 --> 00:33:26,644 ...to have you understand that 830 00:33:26,677 --> 00:33:29,947 I didn't want to eat a-a purple hot dog? 831 00:33:30,047 --> 00:33:31,716 -Ah, Rick, this has been fun, man. -Yeah, this was awesome. 832 00:33:31,816 --> 00:33:33,151 Thanks for making my day. And congratulations on the show. 833 00:33:33,251 --> 00:33:34,485 -Thank you very much, man. -Good to have you on, man. 834 00:33:34,652 --> 00:33:36,220 -I appreciate it. Cheers. -Really appreciate you. 835 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,322 NOAH: All episodes of As We See It are streaming right now 836 00:33:38,423 --> 00:33:39,290 on Amazon Prime Video. 837 00:33:39,390 --> 00:33:40,458 We're gonna take a quick break, 838 00:33:40,591 --> 00:33:42,627 but we'll be right back after this. 839 00:33:42,727 --> 00:33:45,396 Thank you, man. That was really a lot of fun. You made my day. 840 00:33:47,177 --> 00:33:48,779 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 841 00:33:48,879 --> 00:33:51,749 don't forget to check out The Daily Show's merch collection, 842 00:33:51,849 --> 00:33:53,751 which is inspired by our segment 843 00:33:53,851 --> 00:33:55,152 "If You Don't Know, Now You Know." 844 00:33:55,252 --> 00:33:57,454 100% of ViacomCBS proceeds 845 00:33:57,554 --> 00:34:00,157 will be donated to 826 National, 846 00:34:00,257 --> 00:34:03,327 the largest youth writing network in the country, 847 00:34:03,427 --> 00:34:06,063 that sets up underserved students for success 848 00:34:06,163 --> 00:34:07,231 with the power of writing. 849 00:34:07,331 --> 00:34:08,532 So, if you want to support 850 00:34:08,632 --> 00:34:11,201 826 National and look fresh at the same time, 851 00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:12,803 all you got to do is scan the QR code below 852 00:34:12,903 --> 00:34:14,071 or head to the link. 853 00:34:14,171 --> 00:34:16,039 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, 854 00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:18,342 get your vaccine, and remember, 855 00:34:18,442 --> 00:34:19,843 if you're a Black woman, 856 00:34:19,943 --> 00:34:21,745 keep your phone on you. Yeah. 857 00:34:21,845 --> 00:34:23,180 Joe Biden might be calling you 858 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,948 to put you on the Supreme Court. 859 00:34:25,049 --> 00:34:27,351 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 860 00:34:27,451 --> 00:34:29,486 ♪ ♪ 861 00:34:31,255 --> 00:34:34,625 The impending national insurance tax hike hangs 862 00:34:34,725 --> 00:34:38,195 like a guillotine while they eat cake. 863 00:34:38,295 --> 00:34:41,632 This is nothing short of a crisis. 864 00:34:41,732 --> 00:34:43,567 And the only route out, 865 00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:46,203 the only route to restore public trust, 866 00:34:46,303 --> 00:34:48,338 is for the prime minister to go. 867 00:34:48,439 --> 00:34:50,541 Uh, well, Mr. Speaker, well, I-I-I don't know where 868 00:34:50,641 --> 00:34:52,142 or who has been eating more cake. Uh... 869 00:34:52,242 --> 00:34:54,278 -(laughing, cheering) -♪ ♪