1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,336
Our journey as humans
is very inspiring,
2
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,871
but not to, like, animals.
3
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,906
Like, we're like,
"Look how far we've come."
4
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,774
And every animal on the planet
is like,
5
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,376
"These mother(bleep).
6
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,778
"These guys are j...
they chop down our houses,
7
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,515
"and they-they kill us
to wear us, dawg.
8
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,250
This is... Wear us."
9
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,818
"Wh-What do you mean,
wear-wear us?"
10
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,319
"Yo, they're gonna take
your-your back,
11
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,388
and they're gonna put it
on their back."
12
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,123
"But what-what do they have
on their back?"
13
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,325
"Nothing, clearly. You."
14
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,660
"Don't they have skin?"
15
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,428
"Nah. They...
Well, they've got it,
16
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,663
"but it's, like, useless,
apparently.
17
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,098
"I don't know what happened
with their skin.
18
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,866
And so they're just gonna
wear us."
19
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,502
These are the conversations
animals are having about us
20
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:36,770
till this day.
21
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,539
Imagine chickens
talking to each other.
22
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,574
"Yeah, you know
what gives them good dreams
23
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,944
is, like, the feathers
of our ancestors."
24
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,179
"What?"
25
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,080
"Yeah, they need to sleep
on our dead bodies
26
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,348
for a good night's sleep."
27
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,150
"What?
28
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,286
Can they not make the pillows
out of anything else?"
29
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,621
"They can. They can.
But they don't like to."
30
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,456
"What were their other options?"
31
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,258
"Well, they used to use,
uh, cotton
32
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:01,195
that some of them had picked.
Yeah."
33
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,696
"Jesus,
these people are monsters."
34
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,298
"I know. I know.
35
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,832
"Anyway,
I'll-I'll chat to you later.
36
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,869
"I, uh, I've got to go
turn into a bucket of pieces
37
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,070
that they're not gonna finish."
38
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,772
(clicks tongue)
"See you later."
39
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,174
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from the heart of Times Square
40
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,211
in New York City,
the only city in America,
41
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,580
it's The Daily Show.
42
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,482
Tonight, bye-bye, Breyer,
43
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,485
how Congress is getting rich,
44
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,088
and Rick Glassman.
45
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:32,693
This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
46
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,361
Hey! What's going on, everybody?
47
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,096
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah,
48
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,564
and joining me
for today's headlines
49
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,700
is our very own Ronny Chieng.
50
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,468
-What's going on, Ronny?
How you doing? -Hey, Trevor.
51
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,470
Good to see you again.
Uh... (inhales)
52
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,239
Well, I-I'm okay,
53
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,107
but I got COVID,
like, five weeks ago,
54
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:48,509
-and, uh...
-Wow.
55
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,011
Yeah, it was...
It was, uh, intense.
56
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,413
I felt really sick.
I'm glad I recovered,
57
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,582
but I think I may have
58
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,285
some lingering, uh,
headaches, brain fog.
59
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:01,522
And, uh, the worst part
about COVID is, uh, afterwards,
60
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,392
I-I look at Machine Gun Kelly
and Megan Fox news,
61
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,262
and I... I just feel nothing.
62
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:11,665
-Like, you've lost... -Yeah,
just lost complete interest.
63
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,767
Like, I'll be scrolling,
I'll see them, like,
64
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,469
biting each other's tongues
or something,
65
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,838
and I'll be like,
"I don't care about this."
66
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,907
And, you know, I just...
I hope in a few months,
67
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,476
this goes away
and I once again can enjoy
68
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:26,079
Megan Kelly,
Machine Gun Fox news.
69
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,781
I... You see,
that's part of the thing.
70
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,316
-It's happening to you now.
-Yeah.
71
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,818
-You're even mixing up their...
-Oh, did I just mix it up?
72
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,453
-Oh, damn. Well...
-I'm sorry, man.
73
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,955
It's all right. You know.
-Geez, Ronny.
74
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,523
-Well, I'm glad... -It could be
worse. It could be worse.
75
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,392
It could be worse.
I'm glad are you getting better,
76
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,160
and I hope that you care
about them again one day.
77
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,596
-Thank you, Roy. -(exhales)
Well, thanks for being here.
78
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,965
All right, let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
79
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,967
♪ ♪
80
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,736
We kick things off
with major news
81
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,638
out of the Supreme Court.
82
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,541
Yes, the second most powerful
court in the United States
83
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,109
right after Judge Judy.
84
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,178
Out of all the justices
on the Supreme Court,
85
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,647
the oldest one
is Stephen Breyer.
86
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,418
And you know how it goes
with old Supreme Court justices.
87
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,254
Eventually,
whether they like it or not,
88
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,757
they go and meet
the one true judge.
89
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,626
(kisses)
90
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:16,129
So, Democrats have been
relentlessly pestering Breyer
91
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:19,433
to step down
so that they can replace him
92
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,236
before Mitch McConnell
comes back into power
93
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,672
and makes a rule
that all Supreme Court justices
94
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,542
have to have been platinum
QAnon members in the past.
95
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,513
And today, Breyer finally made
the Democrats' dreams come true.
96
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,314
Breaking news.
A bombshell announcement
97
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,617
out of the U.S. Supreme Court
reverberating
98
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,253
across the nation's legal
and political landscape.
99
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,955
CNN has learned
that Justice Stephen Breyer
100
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,490
plans to retire.
101
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,259
NEWSMAN:
Breyer is 83 years old,
102
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,728
and he has resisted calls
to retire
103
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,264
from liberals
who want President Joe Biden
104
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,432
to have
a Supreme Court nomination slot
105
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,401
that he can use this year.
106
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,137
Apparently, Breyer has decided,
uh, to move forward
107
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,139
with that retirement now,
108
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,475
and it sets up
a political battle here
109
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,744
for President Biden,
who will have the opportunity
110
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,346
to nominate a Supreme Court
justice as a result.
111
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,515
Justice Stephen Breyer,
the leading liberal
112
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,817
on the court, he will retire.
113
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,953
We're still not exactly sure
of the timeline,
114
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:16,056
but, presumably,
not until the end of this term,
115
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,292
which ends, usually,
at the end of June.
116
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,361
This is big, y'all.
Justice Breyer is retiring.
117
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,297
Yeah. Probably to focus more
118
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,866
on his ice cream brand.
I don't know.
119
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,267
But, honestly, no one--
no one should be surprised
120
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,069
by this news, right?
121
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,772
It probably isn't fun
being hounded all day
122
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,807
by people screaming at you
to retire.
123
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,476
I mean, imagine it. Think about
it. Everywhere this guy goes,
124
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,912
people are telling him
he should be retiring.
125
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,447
He's probably in line
at the grocery store
126
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,683
and people are like,
"Retire, bitch!"
127
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,719
He's at Starbucks. The name
on the cup is Retire Bitch.
128
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,487
He's at the synagogue
and the rabbi is like,
129
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,090
"Baruch ata, retire, bitch."
130
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,092
And right now,
a lot of Democrats are relieved.
131
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,894
But I don't know, people.
132
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,629
I feel like the only winner here
is gonna be Mitch McConnell.
133
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,464
Maybe I'm just scarred.
134
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,399
Yeah. Because even though
the Republicans
135
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,168
don't control the Senate,
don't be shocked,
136
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,137
don't be shocked when Mitch
still makes it happen.
137
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,405
He's just gonna come out like,
138
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,441
"Muh, it's
a longstanding Senate tradition
139
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,077
"that we cannot confirm
a Supreme Court justice
140
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:13,447
"in a year where there's a
new season of Ozark on Netflix.
141
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,048
"Muh.
142
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,051
"We all got to watch it first
and then process what happened.
143
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,354
That show is crazy. Shit. Muh."
144
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:24,057
Now, as to the speculation
about who will replace Breyer,
145
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,660
President Biden
has already promised
146
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,861
that, if he gets the chance,
147
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,364
he's going to nominate
a Black woman
148
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,799
to the Supreme Court.
149
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,067
Which, you got to admit,
that's gonna be
150
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,069
a really powerful moment.
151
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,538
You know?
He's giving that speech.
152
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,873
It's gonna be really special.
153
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,576
Until he says that
she's "the finest Negro judge
154
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,511
"of the Negro Leagues...
(muttering)
155
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,180
"Come on, man.
156
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,347
Come on, man."
157
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,583
Um, well, you know, Trevor,
158
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,952
if we're gonna go racial with
the Supreme Court judge thing,
159
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,521
uh, I just want
to point out there that, uh,
160
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,191
Asian Americans have
a really strong history
161
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,127
of jurisprudence in America.
I mean...
162
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,029
O.J. Simpson trial.
163
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,298
That was us, man. Judge Ito.
164
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,732
GOAT.
165
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,734
He did that stuff,
if you liked that outcome.
166
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,603
Also, I don't know how many
times I have to say this
167
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,605
on the show, but...
168
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,808
I... have a law degree.
169
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,143
And, also,
170
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,579
I am extremely judgy.
171
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,047
You know what I mean?
I judge everything.
172
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,482
Like, from the moment I wake up,
I'm judging everyone.
173
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,951
I'm judging you right now.
174
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,886
Like your suit, that's--
what is that, polka dots?
175
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,154
That looks like shit.
176
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,923
-(laughter)
-I'd be perfect for this role.
177
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,326
You know what I'm saying?
Also, in America,
178
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,828
there's only two jobs
with lifetime appointments--
179
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,363
that's the host
of Price is Right
180
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,065
and Supreme Court judge,
181
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,200
which means
you can't get fired, Trevor.
182
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,069
Do you know how much shit
I would talk
183
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,537
if I couldn't get fired?
184
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,073
-No, no, tell me, Ronny.
-I would talk so much shit.
185
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,342
-Yeah? -I would be so much more
free to express myself.
186
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,310
And isn't that what being
America is about?
187
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,212
Being free?
188
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,814
Yeah. I would love to know
all the things
189
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,382
you have to say about me
when you're free.
190
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,519
I mean, considering what you say
about me when you're...
191
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,087
-held back.
-Exactly.
192
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,422
So let's work
to make this happen.
193
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,092
Biden, I'm available.
194
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,693
I'd like to announce
my candidacy
195
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,596
for Supreme Court
of the United States.
196
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,199
Vote for me on Twitter.
197
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,370
Thank you, Ronny.
And that's a powerful statement.
198
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,039
It's not polka dots.
They're little, like...
199
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,307
squiggly things.
200
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,675
Okay, they look like shit.
201
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,343
Anyway, let's move on
202
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,213
to the big entertainment story
everyone's talking about today.
203
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,048
It's about Disney movies,
204
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,449
which everyone loves, right?
205
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,952
We all love Disney movies,
especially the classics.
206
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,954
They're the reason
that we all believe in true love
207
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,523
and all hate our stepmothers.
208
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,258
And Disney loves remaking
those films,
209
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:42,229
because Disney really
understands the value of money.
210
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,364
But as the originals get remade,
211
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,832
people start to notice things
212
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,769
that don't quite work
in the modern era,
213
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,405
as one famous actor
just pointed out.
214
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,674
NEWSWOMAN: Walt Disney Studios
on the defensive
215
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,075
following harsh criticism
216
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,277
by Emmy-winning actor
Peter Dinklage
217
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,880
over the upcoming
live-action adaptation
218
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,217
of the 1937 Snow White
and the Seven Dwarfs
219
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,420
starring West Side Story
actress Rachel Zegler.
220
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,764
Yeah.
221
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,766
Still Snow white, yeah.
222
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,240
Oh, a backward... (laughs)
223
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,379
NEWSWOMAN: Disney releasing
a statement, responding
224
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,515
to the backlash,
writing in part...
225
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,361
Ooh, boy.
226
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,796
All right, let me start
by saying this.
227
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,399
From the beginning,
I am not a dwarf,
228
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,369
so if Peter Dinklage says
that this is a problem,
229
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:56,803
I'm not going to say
that he's wrong.
230
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,273
Because I've never watched
Snow White
231
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,276
and found the dwarves
offensive, right?
232
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:05,812
But I do understand
what he's talking about.
233
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,748
I genuinely do.
234
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:11,218
Because if that movie was called
Snow White and the Seven Blacks,
235
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,320
I mean, that would be weird.
236
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,821
And you could tell me,
237
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,457
"Oh, Trevor, no, the Blacks
are actually the heroes.
238
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,760
It's still a...
it's-it's a great story."
239
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,261
Let me tell you something.
Yo, man,
240
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,565
that's still a white lady
and her friendly Blacks.
241
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,099
It still set off
my Spidey sense.
242
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,601
And look, I wish...
243
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,403
I wish Disney the best of luck
in this thing.
244
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,706
Personally, I wouldn't touch
the story with a ten-foot pole.
245
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:37,945
Yeah, because it's still seven
dwarves living in the forest.
246
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,847
And I don't think
it's a great idea.
247
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,181
And that's not even
the biggest issue of all.
248
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,517
Because don't forget,
the whole story revolves
249
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,087
around a woman being drugged,
and then some dude comes
250
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,890
and kisses her
without her consent.
251
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,259
And I know Bill Cosby is
now available for the role,
252
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,061
but that's not the point.
253
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,530
I'm just saying this thing is,
uh, you know?
254
00:09:56,630 --> 00:10:00,200
Yeah, well, look, Trevor, can
we just give Disney a chance,
255
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,303
and let's judge the movie
after it gets made?
256
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,906
I mean, they've... Disney has
had a good history lately
257
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,341
of, like, updating things
258
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:10,177
and making characters
three-dimensional
259
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,347
and bad guys good, right?
Like, look at Cruella.
260
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,883
-Right? From 101 Dalmatians.
-Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
261
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:19,653
Literally, "the cruel devil"
is her name,
262
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,221
and she kills puppies.
263
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,824
And then, they put Emma Stone
in there in the prequel.
264
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,394
-It turns out some puppies
killed her mom. -Yeah.
265
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,396
And then you go, "Oh, now I know
why you were killing puppies
266
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,465
in the second thing," so I'm
just saying, give them a chance.
267
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:35,402
Anyway,
let's talk about Joe Rogan,
268
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,538
the king of podcasts
269
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,706
and Aaron Rodgers'
personal physician.
270
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,208
Whatever you think about him,
271
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,676
Rogan is one
of the most influential voices
272
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,178
in America right now,
273
00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:45,946
because 11 million people
listen to his show.
274
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,248
11 million people. Yeah.
275
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,752
And some of what they hear
is a little suspect, right?
276
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,954
You know, whether
it's misinformation about COVID,
277
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:57,024
or whatever was happening here.
278
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,959
-What did Michael Eric Dyson
call you? -Prejudiced.
279
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,695
-A mean, angry, white man?
-Mean and... mean, yeah.
280
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,231
-And a mean, angry, white man.
Yeah. -Hilarious.
281
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,766
-Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
-You're not mean at all.
282
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,534
-It's, uh...
-I am white.
283
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,802
-Actually, that's a lie, too.
-(laughing)
284
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,238
I'm kind of tan,
and he was actually not Black.
285
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,973
-He was sort of... -If you're
tan, what the (bleep) am I?
286
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,242
Black and white thing is
so strange because the shades
287
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,777
-are so...
-Yeah, it's like tan and brown.
288
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,712
There's such a spectrum
of shades of people.
289
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:22,716
Unless you're talking to someone
who is, like, 100% African
290
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,418
from the darkest place
291
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,286
where they're not wearing
any clothes all day,
292
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,989
and they've developed all that
melanin to protect themselves
293
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,926
from the sun, you know,
even the term "Black" is weird.
294
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,901
Oh, my God.
295
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,103
I'm not Black.
296
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,340
I'm not Black.
297
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:51,345
Joe Rogan's right. I'm like
a caramel mocha Frappuccino.
298
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,914
This... Yo,
this changes everything!
299
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,516
This changes everything!
300
00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,451
(footsteps running)
301
00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,587
(siren blaring)
302
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,190
The police said I'm Black.
303
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,293
But yeah, apparently Joe Rogan
really wants to know
304
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,495
why they say "Black people"
305
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,864
if they're not the color
of a sharpie.
306
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,901
And this actually is
a common question.
307
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,069
Yeah. In fact, when
my brother was five years old,
308
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,804
he asked me
the exact same thing.
309
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,806
And I know a lot of people
are upset about this,
310
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,142
but look at the upside:
at least Joe Rogan
311
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,810
wasn't talking about vaccines.
312
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,979
So that is a step
in the right direction, right?
313
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,281
Let's acknowledge that.
314
00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:29,316
You know? What was weird
about this whole thing
315
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,585
was Rogan's guest, though,
Jordan Peterson saying that
316
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:34,421
his skin is actually tan.
317
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,891
My man, you're not tan.
318
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,594
Like, that guy is...
that's white.
319
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,596
If anyone buys skin tanner
320
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:44,631
and they end up looking
like Jordan Peterson,
321
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,500
they should sue the company.
322
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,901
Have you seen his skin color?
323
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,003
Like, he could be Snow White.
324
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,972
The thing that these guys
seem to be ignoring
325
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,174
is that Black people
didn't call themselves Black.
326
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,776
You understand that, right?
327
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,778
It's not like Black people
were like, "We're Black."
328
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,681
No, in Africa, we have tribes,
we have cultures--
329
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,383
Zulu, Xhosa, Baganda, Igbo,
330
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,052
Wakandans.
331
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,187
But then white people got there,
and they're like:
332
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,489
"Wow, there's a lot
of Black people here.
333
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,358
Lot of Black people."
334
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,894
Yeah, then in America,
they invented a rule
335
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,197
that if you had one drop
of Black blood in you,
336
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,665
that makes you Black.
337
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,568
Which defined how you
were treated by the government
338
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,203
and by society.
339
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,906
Even vampires wouldn't bite you.
340
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,241
Look, I thirst for their blood,
341
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,343
but I'm applying for a mortgage.
I can't risk it.
342
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,778
You know what, Trevor?
I mean, look,
343
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,447
Joe is right, man.
344
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:35,449
I got to agree with him
on this one.
345
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,918
Race is fluid.
346
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,419
Like, what is race?
347
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,457
Like, one time I put on, like,
a Korean charcoal face mask,
348
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,726
and I felt kind of Asian
until I put it on,
349
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,461
and then I realized
it was blackface,
350
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,129
and then I started thinking:
Hey, man,
351
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,164
I can really empathize
with the struggle.
352
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,100
And as soon
as I said that out loud,
353
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,269
I got cancelled,
which made me feel white,
354
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,337
I had to start from the bottom
of showbiz again,
355
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,373
which made me feel Asian,
so right there I had, like,
356
00:13:59,473 --> 00:14:00,908
five different
racial experiences
357
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,110
in the course of, like,
ten minutes, all right?
358
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,312
And so, like, what is race?
359
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,415
I'm gonna chalk this up
to the COVID.
360
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,950
(stammering):
Uh... whatever, man.
361
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,854
I'm just saying,
race is fluid, man.
362
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,322
I feel you there, Ronny.
363
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,823
All right,
that's it for the headlines.
364
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,959
Don't go away,
because when we come back,
365
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,828
we're gonna tell you
how to get rich.
366
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,597
You don't want to miss it.
367
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:26,270
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
368
00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:27,772
Let's talk about Congress.
369
00:14:27,872 --> 00:14:29,240
It's the number one
tourist destination
370
00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:31,275
for people trying to hang
Mike Pence.
371
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,978
Now, you may not know this,
but most members of Congress
372
00:14:34,078 --> 00:14:35,780
are forced to scrape by
373
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,317
on a measly
$200,000-a-year salary,
374
00:14:39,417 --> 00:14:40,885
which, when you think about it,
375
00:14:40,985 --> 00:14:43,387
is barely enough
to afford a good prostitute.
376
00:14:43,488 --> 00:14:46,457
So, naturally, they need
to supplement their income
377
00:14:46,557 --> 00:14:48,659
by investing
in the stock market.
378
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,528
It's a natural thing.
379
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,530
But if you can believe it,
380
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,699
there's now a new movement
in Congress
381
00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:58,903
to stop members
from trading stocks altogether.
382
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:00,972
It's rare these days
for this divided Congress
383
00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:02,607
to agree on absolutely anything,
384
00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:05,309
but there may be one issue.
385
00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:08,379
It has the likes
of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
386
00:15:08,479 --> 00:15:12,216
and Kevin McCarthy
on the same side.
387
00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:14,152
They're both
among members of Congress
388
00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:15,820
pushing for new restrictions
389
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,356
on how lawmakers trade stocks.
390
00:15:18,456 --> 00:15:19,991
NEWSWOMAN:
Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff
391
00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:23,161
just released a bill tonight
that would force lawmakers
392
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,296
to put their assets
into a blind trust
393
00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:28,332
or pay a fine
of their entire salary.
394
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:31,402
GOP Senator Josh Hawley
is working on a version, too,
395
00:15:31,502 --> 00:15:34,338
and in the House, there's
already a bipartisan bill
396
00:15:34,439 --> 00:15:36,174
called
the TRUST in Congress Act.
397
00:15:36,307 --> 00:15:37,408
NEWSMAN:
This comes only a few weeks
398
00:15:37,508 --> 00:15:39,811
after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
doubled down
399
00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:42,480
on members' right to invest
in the stock market.
400
00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:50,888
No, I don't...
No to the second one.
401
00:15:50,988 --> 00:15:52,924
This is a free market,
and people...
402
00:15:53,024 --> 00:15:55,193
We're a free market economy.
403
00:15:55,326 --> 00:15:57,728
They should be able
to participate in that.
404
00:15:57,829 --> 00:16:00,531
Okay, well, uh, first of all,
I can't believe there's an issue
405
00:16:00,631 --> 00:16:03,668
that AOC
and Kevin McCarthy agree on.
406
00:16:03,768 --> 00:16:05,336
Those people
don't agree on anything
407
00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:08,439
except that those kids
on Euphoria are way too horny.
408
00:16:08,539 --> 00:16:10,041
Don't you guys have homework?
409
00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:11,876
I'm pretty sure
you can't put "cocaine"
410
00:16:11,976 --> 00:16:13,411
on a college application.
411
00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:16,681
And, by the way,
this bill is quite a move
412
00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:19,417
for a new senator
like Jon Ossoff.
413
00:16:19,517 --> 00:16:22,086
Think about it.
The guy just got to the Senate,
414
00:16:22,186 --> 00:16:25,156
and he's already coming after
the wallets of his coworkers?
415
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:27,759
It's like showing up to prison
on your first day
416
00:16:27,859 --> 00:16:29,293
and being like, "Hey, Warden,
417
00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:32,363
I think these guys are
using spoons to dig something."
418
00:16:32,463 --> 00:16:34,432
But the question still is
why do so many representatives
419
00:16:34,532 --> 00:16:35,733
from across
the political spectrum
420
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,302
want to ban Congress
from trading stocks?
421
00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:41,072
And why is Nancy Pelosi
against that?
422
00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:43,474
Well, let's find out
in another installment
423
00:16:43,574 --> 00:16:46,110
of If You Don't Know,
Now You Know.
424
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,312
♪ ♪
425
00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,887
The first thing to know
is that historically,
426
00:16:55,987 --> 00:16:58,790
Congress has had no restrictions
when it comes to trading stocks.
427
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,391
For most of American history,
428
00:17:00,491 --> 00:17:02,527
insider trading laws
that affected CEOs
429
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:04,962
didn't apply
to members of Congress.
430
00:17:05,062 --> 00:17:09,333
So, if Thomas Edison
testified behind closed doors,
431
00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:12,403
senators could just call up
their broker going,
432
00:17:12,503 --> 00:17:13,971
"Dump all my shares in candles.
433
00:17:14,072 --> 00:17:15,940
That shit's over, I tell you."
434
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,842
You see, they could use all of
this advanced secret knowledge
435
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:19,177
to make money for themselves.
436
00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:21,479
And it was illegal
for everyone else to do it,
437
00:17:21,579 --> 00:17:24,816
but for some reason,
Congress could.
438
00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,617
I mean, it may have something
to do with the fact
439
00:17:26,717 --> 00:17:28,486
they were making the laws.
Who knows?
440
00:17:28,586 --> 00:17:30,888
So it's no surprise
that members of Congress
441
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,657
have been really good
442
00:17:32,757 --> 00:17:34,492
at timing the stock market.
443
00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:36,094
Economists have studied
the portfolios
444
00:17:36,194 --> 00:17:37,361
of members of Congress and find
445
00:17:37,462 --> 00:17:39,697
they systematically outperform
the stock market.
446
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,933
NEWSMAN: A study of data
from the 1990s showed
447
00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:45,603
senators' trades outperformed
the market by 12% per year.
448
00:17:45,703 --> 00:17:48,172
That crushes
investment guru Warren Buffett,
449
00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:51,609
who only managed to beat
the market by 2.5% that decade.
450
00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:54,011
NEWSMAN 2: The 2008 financial
crisis turned out to be
451
00:17:54,112 --> 00:17:57,048
a free-for-all for
insider trading on Capitol Hill.
452
00:17:57,148 --> 00:17:59,317
According to
a Washington Post exposé,
453
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:01,619
35 members cashed out
on information
454
00:18:01,719 --> 00:18:02,854
they received from meetings
455
00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:05,389
with Treasury Secretary
Hank Paulson and others.
456
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,591
NEWSMAN 3:
One of those attending
457
00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:09,193
was Alabama Representative
Spencer Bachus.
458
00:18:09,327 --> 00:18:11,696
While Congressman Bachus
was publicly trying
459
00:18:11,796 --> 00:18:13,698
to keep the economy
from cratering,
460
00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:16,033
he was privately betting
that it would,
461
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:19,003
buying option funds
that would go up in value
462
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,805
if the market went down.
463
00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:23,341
He would make a variety
of trades and profit
464
00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:26,277
at a time when most Americans
were losing their shirts.
465
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,946
Now, look, I know seeing
politicians profit off
466
00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:31,282
of an economic meltdown
might make you angry,
467
00:18:31,349 --> 00:18:34,752
but-- don't forget--
they suffered, too.
468
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,688
Do you have any idea how hard
it is to pretend to be sad
469
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,490
when you're making bank?
470
00:18:39,590 --> 00:18:41,292
They had to give speeches
471
00:18:41,325 --> 00:18:44,729
while fighting the urge
to do the Dougie live on camera.
472
00:18:45,696 --> 00:18:47,298
And, obviously,
something fishy is going on
473
00:18:47,398 --> 00:18:48,933
when members of Congress
are doing better
474
00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:52,303
in the stock market
than Warren Buffett!
475
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,305
I mean, it definitely makes
those fundraising emails
476
00:18:54,338 --> 00:18:55,506
even more annoying.
477
00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:58,009
"I need five dollars
by midnight."
478
00:18:58,109 --> 00:18:59,610
Bitch, go talk to your E-Trade!
479
00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:00,878
what are you talking to me for?
480
00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,313
I mean, I don't know,
maybe I'm just jealous.
481
00:19:02,346 --> 00:19:03,948
Maybe I'm just jealous.
'Cause, members of Congress,
482
00:19:04,048 --> 00:19:05,883
they get all
the coolest secrets, you know?
483
00:19:05,983 --> 00:19:07,351
Which stocks to buy.
484
00:19:07,452 --> 00:19:09,153
Who the CIA is killing.
485
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,955
Where they're keeping
the aliens.
486
00:19:11,055 --> 00:19:13,458
Every other workplace
has stupid secrets.
487
00:19:13,558 --> 00:19:16,394
Like, my coolest secret
right now at the show
488
00:19:16,494 --> 00:19:18,830
is that our producer Shelley
is pregnant
489
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:21,132
and she's gonna surprise
her husband on Valentine's Day.
490
00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:23,134
(singsongy):
Boring.
491
00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:26,537
But when people found out
492
00:19:26,637 --> 00:19:29,040
about congressmen making money
off of the financial crash,
493
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:30,508
there was a big enough outcry
494
00:19:30,608 --> 00:19:33,478
that Congress was finally shamed
into regulating themselves.
495
00:19:33,578 --> 00:19:35,480
They passed the STOCK Act,
496
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,281
which banned members of Congress
497
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:39,650
from trading stocks
based on private information
498
00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:42,153
and forced them
to publicly disclose
499
00:19:42,286 --> 00:19:44,856
all their trades within 45 days.
500
00:19:44,956 --> 00:19:47,125
But it turns out
that legislation
501
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,927
is like most members
of Congress before bed--
502
00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:51,696
completely toothless.
503
00:19:51,796 --> 00:19:54,165
It is certainly illegal
for members of Congress
504
00:19:54,298 --> 00:19:56,901
to partake in insider trading.
505
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,804
Uh, proving that, uh,
is very difficult.
506
00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:02,407
If you want to nail 'em
on insider trading, good luck.
507
00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:04,208
You could essentially say,
"Listen,
508
00:20:04,308 --> 00:20:06,611
"I was reasonably told
by my broker I should sell
509
00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:08,613
or I heard similar stuff
from a third party."
510
00:20:08,713 --> 00:20:11,682
DoJ has yet
to successfully convict
511
00:20:11,783 --> 00:20:14,952
an elected member of Congress
based on this law.
512
00:20:15,052 --> 00:20:17,555
Even if the law is followed,
513
00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:19,023
it barely has any teeth.
514
00:20:19,123 --> 00:20:22,393
Nearly 50 lawmakers,
both Republicans and Democrats,
515
00:20:22,493 --> 00:20:24,829
and nearly 200 of their staffers
516
00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:27,432
have repeatedly violated
the STOCK Act
517
00:20:27,532 --> 00:20:29,066
with almost no consequences.
518
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,969
You can make tens
of millions of dollars
519
00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:34,505
with privileged information,
and what's the penalty
520
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:36,307
for failing
to report these purchases?
521
00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:39,277
It's a joke.
It's as low as $200.
522
00:20:39,343 --> 00:20:43,147
Ooh. $200 is the penalty?
523
00:20:43,281 --> 00:20:45,283
I mean, look,
I'm-I'm no math expert,
524
00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:48,419
but if I have
to pay a $200 fine
525
00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:52,190
to make a trade that earns me
millions of dollars,
526
00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,792
I feel like
I'm coming out ahead.
527
00:20:54,892 --> 00:20:57,295
Like, I'm making
a thousand dollars in profit
528
00:20:57,361 --> 00:20:59,330
at least, right?
529
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,566
$200 is not a penalty, people.
530
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:03,167
That's the chip
you throw to the dealer
531
00:21:03,301 --> 00:21:04,902
after you win
the poker tournament.
532
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:06,671
Hell, you lose $200
533
00:21:06,771 --> 00:21:09,774
just carrying
the million dollars to the bank.
534
00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:12,310
So it turns it out that the
STOCK Act is just another one
535
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,345
of those laws
that no one enforces, you know?
536
00:21:14,445 --> 00:21:17,815
Like jaywalking or pushing
all the buttons in an elevator.
537
00:21:17,915 --> 00:21:20,451
And don't forget, it's really
hard to prove insider trading.
538
00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:22,320
You can just say you weren't
even paying attention
539
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,255
during that private briefing
that you got,
540
00:21:24,288 --> 00:21:25,656
which, as a member of Congress,
541
00:21:25,757 --> 00:21:27,825
is actually
a very believable alibi.
542
00:21:27,925 --> 00:21:32,597
So the STOCK Act really did
nothing to stop insider trading.
543
00:21:32,697 --> 00:21:34,732
Like, remember,
remember how those congressmen
544
00:21:34,832 --> 00:21:37,602
sold those stocks
before the crash in 2008?
545
00:21:37,702 --> 00:21:40,571
Well, the same thing happened
again a couple of years ago
546
00:21:40,671 --> 00:21:42,006
before COVID hit.
547
00:21:42,106 --> 00:21:44,275
Yeah, multiple senators
dumped their stocks
548
00:21:44,308 --> 00:21:46,377
after intelligence officials
told them
549
00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:47,945
in a private briefing
that all
550
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,680
of those coughing people
in China were about
551
00:21:49,781 --> 00:21:54,018
to tank the world economy,
and still, no one got punished.
552
00:21:54,118 --> 00:21:56,053
Which is why,
even after the STOCK Act,
553
00:21:56,154 --> 00:21:58,790
members of Congress continued
to do so well
554
00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:01,692
that some of them have
their own financial groupies.
555
00:22:01,793 --> 00:22:05,163
And no one has more
than Nancy Pelosi.
556
00:22:05,296 --> 00:22:08,032
Some TikTokers are
getting stock market ideas
557
00:22:08,132 --> 00:22:10,668
by tracking members
of Congress,
558
00:22:10,768 --> 00:22:14,605
and one of their favorites is
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
559
00:22:19,811 --> 00:22:23,314
Shout outs to Nancy Pelosi, the
stock market's biggest whale.
560
00:22:23,381 --> 00:22:27,085
Apparently, she's decided
to go very heavy in tech stocks.
561
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:29,087
I'm gonna show you guys
which ones she bought.
562
00:22:29,253 --> 00:22:31,255
MAN 3: The queen of investing
just spent $300,000
563
00:22:31,289 --> 00:22:32,824
on this one stock.
564
00:22:32,924 --> 00:22:35,059
So I think I'll be picking up
a couple shares on Monday.
565
00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:38,296
This stock's about to go crazy
because Nancy Pelosi bought it.
566
00:22:38,396 --> 00:22:42,433
Yeah, that's right. Nancy Pelosi
is a star on TikTok.
567
00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:44,669
And she didn't need to steal
any Black people's dance moves
568
00:22:44,769 --> 00:22:46,337
to do it.
That's amazing.
569
00:22:46,437 --> 00:22:48,973
In fact, I almost respect
Pelosi's hustle.
570
00:22:49,073 --> 00:22:50,608
She's 81 years old.
571
00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:52,543
Most of her friends are
probably playing
572
00:22:52,643 --> 00:22:55,079
the nickel stocks right now,
but she Knows
573
00:22:55,179 --> 00:22:57,615
that it doesn't matter
if it's casinos or Wall Street.
574
00:22:57,715 --> 00:23:00,084
The house always wins, baby.
575
00:23:00,184 --> 00:23:03,287
Now, has Pelosi
been so successful
576
00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:04,889
because of inside information?
577
00:23:04,989 --> 00:23:06,190
There there's no way to know.
578
00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:09,193
But what's clear is that
just being a member
579
00:23:09,293 --> 00:23:11,329
of Congress means that
you'll probably know about
580
00:23:11,429 --> 00:23:15,867
the bad stuff that will crash
a stock before the rest of us.
581
00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:18,102
Yeah.
Whether it's a housing bubble
582
00:23:18,202 --> 00:23:20,605
or Elon Musk hosting SNL.
583
00:23:20,705 --> 00:23:22,673
And until members of Congress
are banned from trading stocks,
584
00:23:22,774 --> 00:23:25,243
Congress will keep having
an edge over regular people.
585
00:23:25,309 --> 00:23:27,445
And it'll all be
completely legal
586
00:23:27,545 --> 00:23:29,280
or, at the very least,
so unenforceable
587
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:31,249
that it's legal by default.
588
00:23:31,349 --> 00:23:32,984
Which, you gotta admit,
is such a smooth way
589
00:23:33,084 --> 00:23:35,119
to do corruption. You know?
590
00:23:35,253 --> 00:23:37,555
In fact, it's such a smooth way
that leaders in
591
00:23:37,655 --> 00:23:40,758
other parts of the world
are starting to take notice.
592
00:24:26,904 --> 00:24:27,939
Good.
593
00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:41,452
(groans)
594
00:24:47,592 --> 00:24:48,659
Oh!
595
00:24:52,029 --> 00:24:53,331
Aw...
596
00:24:58,369 --> 00:25:00,371
(cheering, laughing)
597
00:25:13,785 --> 00:25:15,820
(cheering, laughing)
598
00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:27,165
All right, when we come back,
599
00:25:27,298 --> 00:25:29,801
I will be talking to the
hilarious Rick Glassman
600
00:25:29,901 --> 00:25:33,337
about a show that
combines Autism and comedy.
601
00:25:33,438 --> 00:25:35,206
What?
Stay tuned.
602
00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:39,210
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
603
00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:41,612
My guest tonight is comedian
and actor Rick Glassman.
604
00:25:41,712 --> 00:25:43,581
He's here to talk
about his new series
605
00:25:43,681 --> 00:25:46,818
that follows a trio of roommates
on the autism spectrum
606
00:25:46,918 --> 00:25:50,354
as they navigate life,
work and pursuing love.
607
00:25:50,455 --> 00:25:54,092
Is it obvious to everyone
that I'm not normal?
608
00:25:54,192 --> 00:25:56,594
Am I not passing?
609
00:25:56,694 --> 00:25:57,895
I think you're normal.
610
00:25:57,995 --> 00:26:00,465
Do I have to talk about it
with people now?
611
00:26:00,565 --> 00:26:01,866
-What if I don't want to?
-Well, then don't.
612
00:26:01,966 --> 00:26:03,534
-I mean, it's entirely
up to you. -I don't want to.
613
00:26:03,634 --> 00:26:05,636
Okay, then don't.
614
00:26:05,736 --> 00:26:08,406
I'm taking Ewatomi on a date,
and I need it to go perfect.
615
00:26:08,506 --> 00:26:11,909
She needs to see
that I can be normal.
616
00:26:12,009 --> 00:26:14,879
I think you just got
to be yourself, Jack.
617
00:26:14,979 --> 00:26:17,148
Did you not hear
a word I just said?
618
00:26:17,248 --> 00:26:19,083
Okay, listen.
619
00:26:19,183 --> 00:26:21,385
For what it's worth,
620
00:26:21,486 --> 00:26:24,122
I think you are
such a beautiful person
621
00:26:24,222 --> 00:26:26,390
that you shouldn't have
to hide who you are.
622
00:26:30,361 --> 00:26:32,363
That makes me want to throw up.
623
00:26:32,463 --> 00:26:34,499
(laughing)
624
00:26:37,268 --> 00:26:39,737
Oh, man. Rick Glassman,
welcome to The Daily Show.
625
00:26:39,837 --> 00:26:42,807
-Thanks for having me.
-Um, this is a really fun show.
626
00:26:42,907 --> 00:26:44,642
When people tell you
about a show and they go,
627
00:26:44,675 --> 00:26:46,944
"This show is going to be
about these people,"
628
00:26:47,044 --> 00:26:48,846
you-you immediately think
a few things.
629
00:26:48,946 --> 00:26:50,281
Doesn't matter
who the people are.
630
00:26:50,381 --> 00:26:52,383
So, they go like, "This
is going to be a Black show.
631
00:26:52,483 --> 00:26:54,886
"This is going to be a show
about Africans.
632
00:26:54,986 --> 00:26:56,454
This is going to be a show
about Europeans."
633
00:26:56,554 --> 00:26:58,423
You know what I mean? "This is
gonna be a show about autism."
634
00:26:58,523 --> 00:27:00,057
-Yeah. -You go like,
"Oh, what does that mean?"
635
00:27:00,158 --> 00:27:01,859
And then you watch the show,
and you go like,
636
00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:03,060
"The people in the show
637
00:27:03,161 --> 00:27:04,495
"just happen to be dealing
with autism.
638
00:27:04,662 --> 00:27:05,963
It's a show. It's a story."
639
00:27:06,063 --> 00:27:08,266
Incidentally, I thought our show
was gonna be a Black show
640
00:27:08,366 --> 00:27:09,867
-until it came out.
-(laughing)
641
00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:12,203
Um, and it's funny that you
bring that up as an example.
642
00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:15,473
Um, yeah, it was a...
it was a pleasure to-to do this.
643
00:27:15,573 --> 00:27:19,043
Uh, I was diagnosed with autism
five years ago.
644
00:27:19,143 --> 00:27:22,246
-Okay.
-And when I first found out,
645
00:27:22,346 --> 00:27:24,182
it was like a superpower.
I was so excited.
646
00:27:24,282 --> 00:27:26,984
All these obstacles that I had
in my life that were unrelated,
647
00:27:27,085 --> 00:27:29,053
patterns kind of started
showing themselves,
648
00:27:29,153 --> 00:27:31,589
and I was like, "Oh, my God,
this makes so much sense."
649
00:27:31,689 --> 00:27:34,125
And I...
And I was reading up on it,
650
00:27:34,225 --> 00:27:35,426
and I found all these tools
651
00:27:35,526 --> 00:27:37,428
that I-I never developed,
and I was so excited.
652
00:27:37,528 --> 00:27:39,497
And-and as I began
to tell my friends,
653
00:27:39,630 --> 00:27:41,032
some people would be like,
"Yeah, that makes sense"
654
00:27:41,132 --> 00:27:44,168
and some people would tell me,
"That's not what autism is."
655
00:27:45,136 --> 00:27:47,305
And I got in
a really bad depression
656
00:27:47,405 --> 00:27:49,440
for a little over a year
'cause this identity
657
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:50,842
that I wanted to take on,
658
00:27:50,942 --> 00:27:52,677
I-I didn't understand
how to explain.
659
00:27:52,777 --> 00:27:54,112
-Wow, that's fascinating.
-Does that make sense?
660
00:27:54,212 --> 00:27:55,246
-Yeah. Yeah, that makes
a lot of sense. -Um...
661
00:27:55,346 --> 00:27:56,948
That makes a lot of sense.
662
00:27:57,048 --> 00:27:59,217
I'm learning new tools
on how to speak to people
663
00:27:59,317 --> 00:28:00,518
and I'm figuring stuff out.
664
00:28:00,651 --> 00:28:02,754
Incidentally, this is
my first... doing this,
665
00:28:02,854 --> 00:28:04,088
a late-night show
and an interview.
666
00:28:04,188 --> 00:28:07,191
And when I booked the show,
I was so nervous
667
00:28:07,291 --> 00:28:10,328
about this moment, because
I didn't want to be obligated
668
00:28:10,428 --> 00:28:11,929
to be a spokesperson
about a thing
669
00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:13,731
that I was
still learning about myself.
670
00:28:13,831 --> 00:28:15,700
-Oh, man, that's deep.
-And...
671
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,935
-Thank you. -That's really deep.
No, for real.
672
00:28:18,035 --> 00:28:20,171
But then I do the show and--
673
00:28:20,271 --> 00:28:22,440
-I had one autistic friend
before the show. -Okay.
674
00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:24,308
I do the show and--
And there's a quote that I love.
675
00:28:24,409 --> 00:28:25,977
It's Dr. Stephen Shore.
He said if you've met one person
676
00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:28,146
with autism, it means you've met
one person with autism.
677
00:28:28,246 --> 00:28:29,547
-I love that quote.
-I love that, too,
678
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,383
'cause it made me feel
like I don't have to explain...
679
00:28:32,483 --> 00:28:34,852
who I am.
I could just be it and...
680
00:28:34,952 --> 00:28:36,187
I'm accepted or I'm not.
681
00:28:36,287 --> 00:28:39,390
And, um, what I found is,
is, once I got my diagnosis,
682
00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:40,658
it did two things for me.
683
00:28:40,758 --> 00:28:42,760
Internally, it allowed me
to better communicate
684
00:28:42,860 --> 00:28:44,362
-and teach people how
to communicate with me. -Okay.
685
00:28:44,462 --> 00:28:45,963
Uh, I would often say,
"Listen, if you think I'm weird,
686
00:28:46,063 --> 00:28:47,932
just tell me.
I-I'm not gonna pick up on it."
687
00:28:48,032 --> 00:28:49,667
You know? Just--
If-if I'm being annoying,
688
00:28:49,767 --> 00:28:51,102
give me the benefit
of the doubt and just say,
689
00:28:51,202 --> 00:28:52,737
"Rick, slow down."
690
00:28:52,837 --> 00:28:54,305
-But did anyone do that?
-Oh, yeah.
691
00:28:54,405 --> 00:28:55,873
You give 'em
that-that opportunity,
692
00:28:55,973 --> 00:28:57,442
it lets them feel safe,
693
00:28:57,542 --> 00:29:00,244
so safe,
that they don't even care.
694
00:29:00,344 --> 00:29:01,412
"Oh, I--
695
00:29:01,512 --> 00:29:03,014
Yeah, he told me about this.
It's fine."
696
00:29:03,114 --> 00:29:05,349
That's really interesting.
I-I wonder if it's because,
697
00:29:05,450 --> 00:29:07,885
in a way,
being vulnerable with a person
698
00:29:07,985 --> 00:29:11,355
makes them comfortable
being vulnerable back with you.
699
00:29:11,456 --> 00:29:14,425
So if you feel like somebody's
being "weird,"
700
00:29:14,525 --> 00:29:16,327
it's hard to say that because
you don't know how you feel.
701
00:29:16,427 --> 00:29:17,795
You don't--
you don't want to hurt the per--
702
00:29:17,895 --> 00:29:19,363
You don't want to say the thing.
It-- There is a vulnerability
703
00:29:19,464 --> 00:29:21,365
in coming with telling somebody
how you feel
704
00:29:21,466 --> 00:29:22,834
about how
they're making you feel.
705
00:29:22,934 --> 00:29:24,302
And so if you put yourself in
the position where you go, like,
706
00:29:24,402 --> 00:29:27,171
"Hey, I'm actually the person
that has an 'issue,'"
707
00:29:27,271 --> 00:29:29,941
they then go, like,
"Oh, they have other issues"
708
00:29:30,041 --> 00:29:31,375
and then they just go,
"I'm comfortable now."
709
00:29:31,476 --> 00:29:33,377
What I've learned is--
at least this has helped,
710
00:29:33,478 --> 00:29:35,880
-like, my self-worth is...
-Okay.
711
00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:37,415
Like you said,
everyone has an issue.
712
00:29:37,515 --> 00:29:39,183
But the issue,
if you have a problem with me,
713
00:29:39,283 --> 00:29:40,651
isn't the thing I'm doing.
714
00:29:40,752 --> 00:29:42,153
-I mean, if I'm punching you,
maybe. -Yes.
715
00:29:42,253 --> 00:29:44,722
But it's the one little thing
of the lack of connection.
716
00:29:44,822 --> 00:29:46,257
-It's the communication.
-Right.
717
00:29:46,357 --> 00:29:48,726
And people don't want to say,
"Why are you doing that?"
718
00:29:48,826 --> 00:29:50,027
They'd rather just assume
that, like, "Ah, okay."
719
00:29:50,128 --> 00:29:51,496
Well, we try to be polite,
and that's what...
720
00:29:51,629 --> 00:29:53,197
-And that's not polite.
-Yeah, but we think it's polite.
721
00:29:53,297 --> 00:29:54,732
That's what I love
about the show.
722
00:29:54,832 --> 00:29:56,734
-You're meeting individuals,
you're meeting people. -Yeah.
723
00:29:56,834 --> 00:29:58,636
You know, the character
you play is very different
724
00:29:58,736 --> 00:30:01,005
to the characters that some
of your castmates are playing.
725
00:30:01,105 --> 00:30:02,373
And you're seeing
different spectrums.
726
00:30:02,473 --> 00:30:03,741
You're seeing
different characters.
727
00:30:03,841 --> 00:30:05,009
-You're seeing different
obstacles in life. -Also...
728
00:30:05,109 --> 00:30:06,411
And that's what I love
about the show.
729
00:30:06,511 --> 00:30:07,945
-But most importantly,
can I say this? -Yes.
730
00:30:08,045 --> 00:30:09,447
It's funny,
and it's heartwarming.
731
00:30:09,547 --> 00:30:12,083
People are telling a story
about people who have to...
732
00:30:12,183 --> 00:30:15,520
happen to have autism, and
they have autism in real life.
733
00:30:15,653 --> 00:30:18,523
There were characters that I met
on set cause all the peop...
734
00:30:18,656 --> 00:30:20,925
neurodiverse characters are
played by neurodiverse actors.
735
00:30:21,025 --> 00:30:23,995
-Okay. -Also, there was
one actor who has autism
736
00:30:24,095 --> 00:30:25,430
that played
a neurotypical person.
737
00:30:25,530 --> 00:30:26,798
I'm meeting most of these people
738
00:30:26,898 --> 00:30:28,733
in the character
they're playing,
739
00:30:28,833 --> 00:30:31,669
-and that's... their autism.
-Okay.
740
00:30:31,736 --> 00:30:34,572
And then cut, and I meet
a completely different person,
741
00:30:34,672 --> 00:30:36,607
and it's... It was just so...
742
00:30:36,674 --> 00:30:37,942
That's why I love that quote--
"You meet one person."
743
00:30:38,042 --> 00:30:39,911
I mean,
for every person I met on set,
744
00:30:40,011 --> 00:30:42,046
I met two people with autism--
their representation of it,
745
00:30:42,146 --> 00:30:43,614
-and then who they really were.
-Damn.
746
00:30:43,714 --> 00:30:45,149
And it made me feel so good.
747
00:30:45,249 --> 00:30:47,051
And also, this is... This just
happened a few days ago,
748
00:30:47,151 --> 00:30:48,486
and I almost want to check it,
but it's fine.
749
00:30:48,619 --> 00:30:50,755
We won't say names.
But there's a friend of mine
750
00:30:50,855 --> 00:30:53,357
-who was an ex-girlfriend.
-Okay.
751
00:30:53,458 --> 00:30:55,760
Um... we're okay?
We have time for this story?
752
00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,462
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go, go,
go ahead, go ahead. -Um...
753
00:30:57,628 --> 00:30:59,030
If we don't have time,
I'll just cut it out.
754
00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:02,333
-You'll leave it. Um...
-(laughter)
755
00:31:02,433 --> 00:31:06,104
A friend of mine, uh,
I was dating,
756
00:31:06,204 --> 00:31:09,841
and, um, I went
to her hometown.
757
00:31:09,941 --> 00:31:12,510
This was nine years ago,
uh, pre-diagnosis.
758
00:31:12,643 --> 00:31:15,646
And there were a couple
of obstacles with the mom
759
00:31:15,747 --> 00:31:16,848
-that I didn't know were
happening. -Okay.
760
00:31:16,948 --> 00:31:18,850
-All right.
-Small example is,
761
00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:21,052
I only had a few things to do
laundry, and I was gonna do 'em,
762
00:31:21,152 --> 00:31:22,487
but that's a waste. I'll...
763
00:31:22,653 --> 00:31:23,855
She said,
"I'll do all the laundry."
764
00:31:23,955 --> 00:31:25,656
I'm like, "I'll-I'll...
I'd like to do my own."
765
00:31:25,757 --> 00:31:26,991
"Please, let me."
766
00:31:27,091 --> 00:31:28,392
She was gonna wash it
with these purple sheets
767
00:31:28,493 --> 00:31:30,328
that I knew had never
washed before, and I'm like,
768
00:31:30,428 --> 00:31:32,663
"Well, that shirt... Have
the sheets been washed before?"
769
00:31:32,730 --> 00:31:34,432
She thinks I'm saying she
doesn't know how to do laundry.
770
00:31:34,532 --> 00:31:36,601
I'm thinking I'm just trying
to save my shorts.
771
00:31:36,667 --> 00:31:38,002
A lot of things kept happening.
772
00:31:38,102 --> 00:31:39,437
Uh, then there
was a moment where
773
00:31:39,604 --> 00:31:42,473
my f... my girlfriend at the
time was at her neighbor's,
774
00:31:42,607 --> 00:31:43,474
so it was just
the mom and me,
775
00:31:43,608 --> 00:31:44,409
and we're making hot dogs,
776
00:31:44,509 --> 00:31:45,643
and, great-- And I took a look,
777
00:31:45,743 --> 00:31:47,612
and the hot dogs were purple,
which was odd.
778
00:31:47,678 --> 00:31:49,480
So I didn't want
to ask anything,
779
00:31:49,614 --> 00:31:51,983
-because I've had a lot of
purple drama already. -Right.
780
00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:54,385
So I look in the
garbage to see, just,
781
00:31:54,485 --> 00:31:56,187
had they expired,
or what brand.
782
00:31:56,287 --> 00:31:58,156
-Maybe it's a purple hot dog. A
fun hot dog. -You never know.
783
00:31:58,256 --> 00:31:59,957
You never know.
You've got to ask.
784
00:32:00,057 --> 00:32:03,461
And the-the wrappers were
under some garbage,
785
00:32:03,628 --> 00:32:04,829
which made me feel like,
786
00:32:04,929 --> 00:32:06,497
-"Is she hiding the..."
-Is she hiding the wrapper.
787
00:32:06,631 --> 00:32:07,965
-"Is she hiding the wrapper?
-On purpose or something, yeah.
788
00:32:08,065 --> 00:32:10,802
-So now I'm... it expired
four years ago. -The hot dogs?
789
00:32:10,902 --> 00:32:13,037
The hot dogs expired four years
ago. And they're hidden.
790
00:32:13,137 --> 00:32:15,306
So now I'm-- I-I-- What do I do?
791
00:32:15,406 --> 00:32:17,141
I don't know how to approach
this, because I-I'm
792
00:32:17,241 --> 00:32:19,043
recognizing something is a
little odd from that day.
793
00:32:19,143 --> 00:32:20,078
A little, yeah.
794
00:32:20,178 --> 00:32:21,012
So I just said,
"Hey, you know what,
795
00:32:21,112 --> 00:32:22,080
I'm not gonna eat the hot dog."
796
00:32:22,180 --> 00:32:23,381
I don't need to
give the details.
797
00:32:23,481 --> 00:32:24,715
I'm an adult. I get it.
I can go around it, but
798
00:32:24,816 --> 00:32:26,918
she said, "Why?" So I told her
the hot dogs are purple.
799
00:32:27,018 --> 00:32:28,386
And she said,
800
00:32:28,486 --> 00:32:30,488
"Well, they're fine."
801
00:32:30,655 --> 00:32:32,657
And I said, "They expired
four years ago."
802
00:32:32,757 --> 00:32:34,192
And she said,
"They were in the freezer."
803
00:32:34,292 --> 00:32:35,660
And I said,
"Freezers aren't magic."
804
00:32:35,693 --> 00:32:37,061
And we're getting-- In my
head, I think we're just having
805
00:32:37,161 --> 00:32:39,030
a fun debate on hot dogs, and
she's like, "My daughter's gonna
806
00:32:39,130 --> 00:32:41,032
marry this guy
that's nuts about this stuff.
807
00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:42,366
-Right.
-Three days ago,
808
00:32:42,467 --> 00:32:44,969
my friend calls me
that her mom called her crying.
809
00:32:45,069 --> 00:32:47,605
-"I'm on episode 7 of
Rick's show." -Right.
810
00:32:47,672 --> 00:32:50,174
"I get it. I'm s-- I get it."
811
00:32:50,274 --> 00:32:52,076
And-and this idea of, like,
812
00:32:52,176 --> 00:32:54,512
it lets people in on,
"Oh, if you just realize that
813
00:32:54,612 --> 00:32:57,849
these people are..."
Not worse-- but just, say,
814
00:32:57,949 --> 00:32:59,083
speak a different language.
815
00:32:59,183 --> 00:33:00,151
-Yes. -Their hot dogs
are a different color.
816
00:33:00,251 --> 00:33:01,319
Right.
817
00:33:01,419 --> 00:33:03,521
And it took watching
a show of me playing a--
818
00:33:03,621 --> 00:33:06,324
someone I'm not, for her to
see who I was nine years ago.
819
00:33:06,424 --> 00:33:08,025
And it just, like, let
something loose that--
820
00:33:08,126 --> 00:33:10,528
and this is maybe selfish
or a corny thing to say--
821
00:33:10,628 --> 00:33:11,996
but, like, I'm part of this show
822
00:33:12,096 --> 00:33:15,032
that isn't just making people
that I've never met be like,
823
00:33:15,133 --> 00:33:16,734
"Oh, good, there's some
representation of, like,
824
00:33:16,834 --> 00:33:17,635
-the realities of some
of this." -Yeah.
825
00:33:17,735 --> 00:33:19,537
It happened to me.
826
00:33:19,637 --> 00:33:22,140
And, like, you needed me to do
this show... -(laughing)
827
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,509
...As We See It, on Amazon
Prime, streaming now...
828
00:33:24,642 --> 00:33:25,376
NOAH: (laughing)
829
00:33:25,476 --> 00:33:26,644
...to have you understand that
830
00:33:26,677 --> 00:33:29,947
I didn't want
to eat a-a purple hot dog?
831
00:33:30,047 --> 00:33:31,716
-Ah, Rick, this has been fun,
man. -Yeah, this was awesome.
832
00:33:31,816 --> 00:33:33,151
Thanks for making my day. And
congratulations on the show.
833
00:33:33,251 --> 00:33:34,485
-Thank you very much, man.
-Good to have you on, man.
834
00:33:34,652 --> 00:33:36,220
-I appreciate it. Cheers.
-Really appreciate you.
835
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,322
NOAH: All episodes of As We
See It are streaming right now
836
00:33:38,423 --> 00:33:39,290
on Amazon Prime Video.
837
00:33:39,390 --> 00:33:40,458
We're gonna take
a quick break,
838
00:33:40,591 --> 00:33:42,627
but we'll be right back
after this.
839
00:33:42,727 --> 00:33:45,396
Thank you, man. That was really
a lot of fun. You made my day.
840
00:33:47,177 --> 00:33:48,779
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but before we go,
841
00:33:48,879 --> 00:33:51,749
don't forget to check out The
Daily Show's merch collection,
842
00:33:51,849 --> 00:33:53,751
which is inspired by our segment
843
00:33:53,851 --> 00:33:55,152
"If You Don't Know,
Now You Know."
844
00:33:55,252 --> 00:33:57,454
100% of ViacomCBS proceeds
845
00:33:57,554 --> 00:34:00,157
will be donated to 826 National,
846
00:34:00,257 --> 00:34:03,327
the largest youth writing
network in the country,
847
00:34:03,427 --> 00:34:06,063
that sets up underserved
students for success
848
00:34:06,163 --> 00:34:07,231
with the power of writing.
849
00:34:07,331 --> 00:34:08,532
So, if you want to support
850
00:34:08,632 --> 00:34:11,201
826 National and look fresh
at the same time,
851
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:12,803
all you got to do
is scan the QR code below
852
00:34:12,903 --> 00:34:14,071
or head to the link.
853
00:34:14,171 --> 00:34:16,039
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there,
854
00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:18,342
get your vaccine, and remember,
855
00:34:18,442 --> 00:34:19,843
if you're a Black woman,
856
00:34:19,943 --> 00:34:21,745
keep your phone on you. Yeah.
857
00:34:21,845 --> 00:34:23,180
Joe Biden might be calling you
858
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,948
to put you
on the Supreme Court.
859
00:34:25,049 --> 00:34:27,351
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
860
00:34:27,451 --> 00:34:29,486
♪ ♪
861
00:34:31,255 --> 00:34:34,625
The impending national
insurance tax hike hangs
862
00:34:34,725 --> 00:34:38,195
like a guillotine
while they eat cake.
863
00:34:38,295 --> 00:34:41,632
This is nothing short
of a crisis.
864
00:34:41,732 --> 00:34:43,567
And the only route out,
865
00:34:43,667 --> 00:34:46,203
the only route to
restore public trust,
866
00:34:46,303 --> 00:34:48,338
is for the
prime minister to go.
867
00:34:48,439 --> 00:34:50,541
Uh, well, Mr. Speaker, well,
I-I-I don't know where
868
00:34:50,641 --> 00:34:52,142
or who has been
eating more cake. Uh...
869
00:34:52,242 --> 00:34:54,278
-(laughing, cheering)
-♪ ♪