Stock market. Do you guys celebrate the stock market?
Yeah? Well, maybe not today.
Shit was crashing, son.
It was the wildest thing I've ever seen.
Just, like, red, red, red, red, red, red, red.
And then Bitcoin was also crashing,
which makes no sense to me 'cause people tell me
Bitcoin is the thing that's supposed
to protect you from the market, but then,
Bitcoin goes with the market, which makes no sense.
At one point, I tried to check my stock portfolio app,
and my app was just like,
"Ah, maybe go play some Wordle, buddy."
It's not a good day. Actually, you know what?
I feel bad for all the Wall Street guys
who jumped out of the window at noon,
because the market rebounded
and it came up higher at the end of the day.
So now you know there's at least, like, one guy
who jumped out of the window, and then it's like...
Ah, man. You got to wait 'till the end of the day
to kill yourself, fellas.
You never know what the market's gonna do.
Imagine jumping out the window, and you're like, "Aah!"
And then, as you're falling down the building,
you're looking in the windows of your building.
Then you're seeing the thing go up,
and you're like, "Aah, no!
No! I'm rich! I'm rich!"
Yeah, but that happened today on the stock market.
And I think it's rebounded.
They said it ended higher than where it started in the day,
which must be terrifying for people's money.
'Cause we always think about this
from our perspective as humans,
but imagine how your money feels.
-(laughter) -The stock market is like a rollercoaster
for your money. You know how terrifying that shit is?
You just put your money in there.
You don't even think about your money.
Your money buys you food, your money buys you shelter.
And you don't give a shit. You're just like,
"Yeah, money, go to the stock market."
And then, your money is just there terrified.
"I'm down! I'm up! I'm less! I'm more!"
It's terrifying.
I do that on purpose, though, with my money.
I put my money in the stock market
-just so that it appreciates my bank account more. -(laughter)
Then, when my money comes back to my bank account, it's like,
"Yo, Trev, I'm never gonna talk shit
about this ever again man."
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square
in New York City, the only city in America, it's
The Daily Show.
Tonight-- the playoffs in overtime,
TikTok's new villain
and Jay Shetty!
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah!
Hey! What's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah.
And joining me for today's headlines
is our very own Desi Lydic. What's going on, Desi?
-I've missed you. -Thanks, Trevor. I missed you!
-You know, I'm making the most of my January. -Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing dry January, actually,
and I feel really great. I feel really good.
It's hard, but, you know, I'm just, like,
drinking a ton of water,
dropping a little LSD every night, taking the edge off.
So far, I feel awesome.
The whole point, I think, is to...
You know what? Good for you, Desi.
-Thank you. Thank you. I'm really proud. -Yeah, congrats.
Completely sober. All right,
let's jump right into today's headlines.
♪ ♪
We kick things off with the NFL,
the sport so good, we totally forgot about the brain damage.
Now, this weekend had some absolutely crazy
NFL playoff games.
I mean, football hasn't seen anything this exciting
since that Super Bowl where the Patriots accidentally
took on a Puppy Bowl team. You remember that?
Yo, those puppies got blown out! 52-17.
And for all four games this weekend,
if you didn't stick around 'till the very end,
you basically missed the entire thing.
There may have never been another playoff weekend
like the one that you saw this weekend.
The Kansas City Chiefs and Buffalo Bills capped off one
of the wildest weekends of football of all time,
with all four games decided on the final play.
NEWSMAN: Remarkable!
NEWSWOMAN: The Chiefs and Bills scored a combined 25 points
over the final two minutes of regulation
with the lead changing three times.
NEWSMAN: He might be gone! He is!
NEWSWOMAN: Buffalo went ahead with 13 seconds remaining
after Josh Allen's fourth touchdown pass of the game,
all of them to Gabriel Davis.
NEWSMAN: Down to the middle of the end zone! And there it is!
NEWSWOMAN: But Patrick Mahomes led the Chiefs down the field
to set up a 49-yard field goal to send the game into overtime.
Kansas City won the coin toss and marched downfield.
Mahomes connected with Travis Kelce
to secure their spot in the AFC championship game.
NEWSMAN: To the endzone, for the win!
-(cheers) NEWSMAN: He caught it!
Yes! Yes, he caught it!
He caught it! Did you see that?!
Oh, man, he caught it!
That was so great to see!
And that's also so great to hear someone say, "he caught it!
and it's not about Omicron.
Wow! For real, guys.
That game, it was incredible.
It was incredible. All the games were.
I was so amped up,
I had trouble going to bed afterwards.
It was a huge problem.
In fact, I think when the NFL airs a game like this
on Sunday nights,
Like, they should think about us people who need to go to sleep.
You know? They should, like,
maybe always air a New York Jets game afterwards,
just to help you relax.
You know? Yeah.
Oh, and-and you know what else they need to do in the NFL?
They need to get rid of the sudden death rule, okay?
Like, if one team scores, the other team should
have a chance to respond.
We did this in soccer a long time ago.
We saw it's not fair Like, what's the rush?
No one is watching an NFL playoff game in overtime
thinking, "This is the most exciting part of the game!
Oh, I hope it ends soon!" (laughs)
And also, to base the possession on a coin flip--
Who came up with this? It's not fair.
It's archaic.
Instead of a coin,
they should switch to crypto.
Yeah. Both teams get a Bitcoin,
and then whichever side can explain why it's
not a scam, they get to go first.
I think that's more fair.
Although, honestly,
I think this game shouldn't have gone into overtime.
You're telling me that the Bills' defense
couldn't have held on for 13 seconds?
13 seconds?!
I've had farts that last longer than that.
And, yes, Mark, I have seen a doctor about it,
and yeah, he does have some serious concerns,
but that's not the point.
You know what? I will say this,
I think you can accomplish a lot in 13 seconds.
13 seconds is a great amount of time. It's the right
amount of time that you should spend with your kid every day,
it's exactly the amount of time that the CDC says
you should wash your hands,
It's exactly the amount of time that you should
spend before sending a tweet out.
-Like, thinking about it? -Yeah.
Like, you'd be surprised how much you could
do in 13 seconds, don't you think?
I-I don't think I've ever changed my mind
about something in 13 seconds.
Well, I don't know... you could.
The corn-- The coin flip thing I'm with you on, though.
-Yeah, right? -It does not belong in football.
Does not belong in football.
It could belong in other things.
Like, I did flip a coin to figure out which
vaccine I should take.
-It was like, heads I do Pfizer... -Oh!
...tails, I do Moderna,
if the coin drops into the sewer, I do J&J.
I got Pfizer, but it really could have gone
-in a different direction. -(laughing)
-Oh, man. J&J. -Yeah.
I should maybe figure out a different system
for doing stuff like that.
Oh. All right. Let's move on to a team
that hopefully has a better defense than the Bills:
Ukraine.
For months now, tensions have been building
on the border of Ukraine
as Russia has sent 100,000 troops
to the region.
And now it's looking like war could break out
at any time.
NEWSMAN: With Russian troops amassing
along Ukraine's northern, southern and eastern borders,
Europe now teetering on the brink of war.
NEWSMAN 2: U.S. officials ordering the evacuation
of family members of U.S. embassy staff in Ukraine.
The order comes as tensions mount in the region
with some fearing a Russian invasion
could come at any time
despite consistent denials by the Kremlin.
Now the New York Times reporting that President Biden
is weighing sending thousands of U.S. troops,
warships and aircraft to Eastern Europe.
Secretary of State Antony Blinken
reaffirming U.S. support for the Ukrainian government.
BLINKEN: If a single additional Russian force
goes into Ukraine in an aggressive way,
uh, as I said, that would trigger
a swift, a severe and a united response,
uh, from us and from Europe.
Yeah, you heard the man.
Russia better not enter Ukraine
in an aggressive way.
But if the whole army just kind of shimmies in, though,
that would be kind of cute.
You know, we'll let that slide.
"Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming to take country.
Coming to take country, please."
And look, those are strong words
from America's Secretary of State,
but if I'm a Ukrainian,
probably gonna hedge my bets, you know?
I'll look at what happened with Afghanistan,
and I'll book my seat on that evacuation flight now.
And this isn't just about Ukraine, by the way.
Many countries, many countries are worried
about what this war could mean for the entire region.
Hell, even for the entire world.
It could spiral out into a bigger war,
like World War III.
And personally, I don't think America is ready
to fight Russia over Ukraine.
I mean, America's been fighting brown people for so long.
Does it even remember how to fight white people?
At least Ukraine has time to prepare, though.
That's the thing about war these days.
The element of surprise is gone.
You got a satellite. You see them.
100,000 Russians at your border.
Back in the old days, you could launch a surprise attack,
but now you send troops to the other border,
Waze just tells everybody.
"Hey, the Russian army is causing slowdowns on your route,
so you probably want to avoid the freeway."
The thing I don't get
is why Russia even wants Ukraine so badly.
Like, what do you want? Have you seen a map of Russia?
Just-just go to Siberia.
There's a Ukraine-sized piece of land
with one guy living on it.
You don't even have to fight Ukraine.
You could just fight Dmitri.
I know why Russia's doing this. They're doing it
because we're in between James Bonds right now.
I mean, who's gonna stop Russia
if it's not for having one British alcoholic guy?
We got to pick a Bond. We got to pick a Bond.
I would have never thought of that as being the reason,
but it's true. We are Bondless.
-We're Bondless. -(Noah exhales)
It's not that hard. We got to pick someone.
I think it is hard.
I mean, there are so many of them.
Well, yeah, but we got a lot of great choices.
-That's true. Yeah. -Idris Elba.
-You could do it. -Oh, you're pointing at me?
-You could do it. -(chuckles)
-No, I couldn't. -Yes, you could.
I d... I don't like... I don't like vodka.
Well, you could fake it, though.
It's a part. It's an acting role.
You can do it. I saw that shimmy.
-You can't fake drink... -That's a Bond shimmy.
You can't fake drinking vodka.
'Cause if you... When you drink it,
it, like, it still... You taste it, and then you...
Like, I throw up.
You should try a little LSD.
You could be a dry Bond
but then replace it with LSD.
-Oh, I like that. -I'll call your agents.
-Thank you, Desi. -You're welcome.
"I'll take my LSD...
sh-shaken?"
We'll workshop it.
We'll work it out. Okay.
Let's move on from a-a war that might never start
to one that never ends,
the battle over COVID vaccines.
After "what shoes should M&Ms wear?"
asking whether vaccines are good
is literally the dumbest thing people can fight about.
But they are fighting.
And, yesterday, thousands of people
held a rally in Washington, D.C.,
to hear why vaccine mandates
are worse... (German accent): than Hitler.
NEWSWOMAN: In the nation's capital Sunday,
demonstrators gathered at the Lincoln Memorial,
many voicing opposition to the COVID-19 vaccine,
others protesting vaccine mandates.
Among the speakers, Robert Kennedy Jr.,
son of the late New York Senator
and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy.
What we're seeing today is what I call
"turnkey totalitarianism."
They are putting in place
all of these technocla--
technological mechanisms for control
we've never seen before.
Even in Hitler Germany, you could--
you could cross the Alps into Switzerland,
you could hide in an attic like Anne Frank did.
Yeah, the man is right. Who could argue?
No one ever talks about how good Anne Frank had it.
Free room and board.
All the time in the world to write.
Pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
I will say though, crazy is relative.
Because RFK may be saying wild shit about the Holocaust,
but half the people he's talking to
don't even believe the Holocaust happened.
Yeah, just standing there, like, "Anne Frank?
Didn't realize this guy was such a liberal. Huh."
My God, it's like every family
has that one loose cannon.
Like, just a total embarrassment.
Every family has that.
Although, I have to say, I don't think there's one in my family.
Everyone is... pretty normal.
Not, like, one major embarrassment.
So...
Oh, my God.
-Am I the embarrassment? -No.
-Am I the one? -No.
Oh, God, I'm the Chet Hanks.
Aw, shit.
Guess I better not put out that rap video.
My patois was getting so good.
-(chuckles softly) -(sighs)
Delete it.
Anyway...
I'm-I'm sorry you found that out.
On TV, Desi.
Are we on TV?
All right, finally, let's talk about movie trailers.
That's a question I ask myself all the time, to be honest.
All right, and, finally, let's talk about movie trailers.
They're the free sample that the theater hands out
so that hopefully you'll buy the whole movie.
Normally, trailers are a simple thing that we watch
and then we move on with our lives.
But now some people are very upset
about a trailer that promised more
than it could deliver.
NEWSWOMAN: Well, two fans of actress Ana de Armas
have filed a federal class action lawsuit
against Universal.
They say the actress was not in the final cut
of the movie Yesterday, although she appeared in the trailer.
The suit accuses Universal of engaging
in deceptive marketing techniques,
false advertisement, unjust enrichment
and violating competition laws.
The suit seeks to recover at least five million dollars.
Hell yeah!
Give these people their five million dollars!
Give it to them! This shit drives me crazy, man.
Let me tell you something, this happens all the time,
and nobody does anything about this.
They have trailers that have nothing to do with...
they just put things in, and then I go there...
Like, there's a badass scene
in the trailer for Licorice Pizza, right?
Where Bradley Cooper is doing some kung fu smashing thing,
it's, like, car windows, he's got, like, a pair of squeegees.
But that doesn't happen in the movie. Never happens.
The whole movie, I was waiting for it-- never happened.
I even sat through the credits to see if, like,
it comes afterwards.
Nothing. I mean, Samuel L. Jackson came out,
and he recruited everyone for The Avengers,
but otherwise, nothing about the car windows.
That's the problem with movie trailers.
They all go too far in one direction or another.
They're either showing me the stuff
that's not in the movie,
or they're showing me the entire movie.
-♪ ♪ -First, they fell in love.
But then they broke up.
But then they reunited on the Eiffel Tower.
That's the big finale. You never see it coming.
Except we just showed it to you, so you will this summer.
Stop doing that!
Just pique my interest. That's it.
I will say, at the same time, though,
$5 million is a big penalty.
I don't know if the movie studio should pay $5 million for this.
Like, I think it would be enough to just give them a free popcorn
at the next movie.
You know? But make it a large popcorn,
because the lawyers, they're gonna take two-thirds of it.
Yeah. That's how law works.
But there should be some punishment
for lying to your audience
about who's in your movie.
You can't just get away with that.
Or if there's no punishment, then fine.
But then I should get to do it, too.
Yeah. Make sure to stick around for my exclusive interview
with the ghost of Princess Diana.
Coming up next.
I mean, really, if we're gonna sue movie trailers for anything,
it should be for destroying our favorite childhood song.
They always, like, put it in some creepy, slowed-down version
-of a kids' song, like... -Yeah, right?
Like, they're like, ♪ Ring around the rosie. ♪
I'm like, "Great.
"Thanks for ruining my favorite childhood song
of people dying in the plague."
Destroyed it forever.
They're like: "From the creators of Saw,
it's... ♪ Head, shoulders, knees and toes. ♪
Crazy. It's awful. You better hope
they don't reboot Jaws-- it'll be like,
♪ Baby shark, doo, doo, doo-doo ♪
-♪ Doo, doo-doo. ♪ -(laughs)
That song became very creepy
-when you sang it slow, actually. -I know, right?
Try getting that out of your head for the rest of the day.
Just like someone walking through...
-If someone was singing that at night in my house, -Yeah.
really, like, ♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo. ♪
That's terrifying, actually.
Yeah, I got, I have nightmares about it.
It could be the LSD, but...
You-you should...
Never mind.
All right, when we come back, we'll talk about West Elm Caleb,
and why social media is the best place
to hash out your drama.
You don't want to miss out.
Did you guys... did you guys see this thing about West Elm Caleb?
Has anybody seen this story?
It's a huge story that, like... It has...
It blew up. Well, it's weird.
It started on TikTok, and then it got bigger,
and it went from... it went from TikTok to, like, tabloids,
and then from tabloids, it went to, like, newspapers
and, like, you know The New York Times.
And everyone wrote about it.
The long and short of the story is, um,
there's a woman on TikTok who posted a story
about a bad date that she had with a guy named "Caleb."
Then, other women saw that video, and they thought
she was talking about another Caleb.
And then, they were, like, "Ah, yeah, we met Caleb."
And she's like, "Well, not that Caleb."
But they were like, "But what is... Who's this Caleb?"
And turns out there's a Caleb
who apparently worked at West Elm, the furniture place.
And then, these women were now like,
"Yeah, this Caleb is a dick. What he did was, he, um,
"took me on a date and then went on a bunch of dates with me
and then ghosted me and disappeared." And then...
I don't know if, like, one of the women or other women was
like, "He also sent unsolicited dick pics."
And this became a huge... but this became huge online.
Like, I mean, massive, all right?
And then, what happened was, like, one of the women's videos
went really viral, and she put up Caleb's face
and his name and everything,
so people tracked him down, found his workplace,
started threatening, like, West Elm, like,
about, like, furniture and shit, and him,
and then, um...
And then, like, he's gone now.
The guy's, like, basically had to go deep undercover.
He's just gone.
He's a six-foot-four white boy named Caleb, and he's gone.
And... and this became a huge storyline,
because people were like, "Yeah, he got what he deserved.
You know, this is terrible what he did to women and whatever."
And I was... I was going... I was watching the story evolve
over the weekend, and you know what was going through my head?
Well, first of all, I was thinking, like,
it's amazing how much coverage he got from ghosting.
He didn't do anything, like, super bad
from what the people are saying.
Unsolicited-unsolicited dick picks we'll talk about.
Obviously, that's bad. But I'm saying, he just ghosted,
and then, the guy's viral on every newspaper in the country.
And all I kept thinking was, the Uyghurs in China--
they should ghost someone.
I've never seen them get this much coverage.
Yeah, just, like, ghost a few people,
and then, all of a sudden,
everyone was gonna be talking about you.
You know? But it was wild to me that, like,
this thing became such a big story
considering it was, like, a private date
and a private conversation. And don't get it twisted.
I'm not blaming women who went on dates or anything.
It's like a commentary
on the culture that we live in.
Do you know what I mean?
But I, I felt like--
I don't know if I was the only person, I was going,
"Have we lost the ability to go on bad dates?"
Is that not a thing anymore?
Because I go, like, if you, if you have a bad date,
you're allowed to feel upset about it, all right,
and you should be able to talk about it,
I mean, you-- and you should be able to roast, like,
if you went on a date with a shit guy,
roast him all you want.
Like, that's in the Constitution, I think.
The whole point of dating is so that
you can talk shit about bad dates.
Like, that's why you go on dates,
is 'cause you want to get stories about
how shit the dates were.
You know, otherwise, what's the point of dating?
(stammers) You-You're like, trying to find love.
That's boring, you know?
Love is, like, what you want at the end,
but you want the bad date stories along the way.
That's why you're dating.
Otherwise, you just do an arranged marriage
and you just go straight in,
no stories.
You know what I'm saying?
But now, like, w-what's weird to me with this story is
like, these people are sharing stories
that I personally felt you would share with your friends, right?
But now they're sharing them on social media,
going like, "Oh, this is what happened to me personally
in my life," and then social media jumps on,
because the algorithm takes the story-- which is, like,
a funny story. Because I--
I should also include-- the woman who had, like,
one of the most viral videos, she came out afterwards, and
she's like, "Oh, I didn't want Caleb to get death threats.
I thought I was just telling a funny story to people on TikTok"
which she was.
But then the algorithm goes, like, "Ah! Conflict!"
You know? It's the conflict monster.
And then it put it out to the world
and the world was like, "We don't see anything funny,
West Elm Caleb must die."
They were like, "West Elm Caleb must die."
And I love that that was his thing.
Tabloids, everyone was like,
"West Elm Caleb! West Elm Caleb!"
Everyone.
Which is shitty, in my opinion.
I-I do not know West Elm Caleb,
I have no affiliation with West Elm Caleb.
I do not care for him.
He's some random six-foot-four white boy,
I don't care. But maybe that's part of the reason it's
fashionable to dunk on him, is 'cause
he's a straight white guy,
so people are like, "Yeah, get him!"
But I still go, "He's a human being."
We haven't heard his side of the story,
and people can just shit on him.
And I don't think it's fair.
I genuinely don't think it's fair that,
like, like internet mobs just jump on you like this.
And then your job?
This shit went to his job.
Imagine, now, your boss is there
and he's like, "Ah, good sales quarter, uh, you know, but, uh,
the streets are saying you're a (bleep) boy."
No one deserves that.
And West Elm doesn't deserve this.
These poor people are trying to sell furniture.
Next thing, their phones are ringing off the hook.
They must've been like, "Oh, shit! The ads are working!"
Then they pick up the phone, "Hello?
"What? No,
No, I won't forward your bomb to Caleb."
Thank you."
And it's like...
This-this story for me was, like, the perfect encapsulation
of all the things that are great about social media
but then also all the downsides of social media,
and part of it was a lot of the language that people were using.
'Cause they were saying what Caleb does...
Because apparently he sent some of the women
the same playlist that he sent the other women,
but he called them different names,
and so they were like, "Oh, he's gaslighting us."
I was like, "No, that's just recycling game."
You know what I mean?
That-That's... Most people have limited game.
I don't know why everyone thinks they're fancy.
Most people...
Everything you think that's unique about a person,
they've done to everybody else that they've met.
"Well, is it just me, or are you..."
Yeah, you've done this many times.
There's nothing spontaneous about anybody.
They've done all the shit that you've met them doing.
Every sexual position. Every everything.
Do you know what I mean? They're not gaslighting you.
And then they were saying he's love bombing,
which, if I understand correctly,
means he was... He, like, like, just...
He piled it on thick at the beginning
and then just disappeared afterward.
So he's like, "Oh, I like you. I like you. I like you."
Texting, texting, texting. Then he disappeared,
and they were like, "That's love bombing."
And here's the thing.
I'm glad that people are going to therapy.
I'm going to therapy. Everyone's going to therapy.
But we should be careful
to bring the therapy speak into life
'cause we are not therapists. Know what I mean?
I don't know if this is love bombing.
I think this is human nature.
We get obsessed with a thing when it's new,
we love using it, and that's it.
When I was young, my mom bought me a fire truck.
I drove the shit out of that fire truck.
Like, the whole house was burning for a week.
And then I didn't use the fire truck.
My mom didn't come and be like,
"You're love bombing that fire truck."
She was just like, "You-you got bored."
It... The thing is not what... You know what I mean?
And then they're like, "This is abuse.
This is a form of abuse."
Look, man, I take abuse really seriously.
I think we all should. You know?
But I don't think all rejection is abuse.
Life is about getting rejected, unfortunately.
For everyone to get a yes, someone had to get a no.
Every one of us here.
The fact that you're in a relationship with someone
is because other people rejected them or rejected you.
That's the only reason we get there.
Life is about rejection.
People have a right to reject you.
It's shit, but they have a right to reject you.
You know? All of these things.
It's like people... It's like now we're living in a world
where people are like, "Ah, no, I...
I... No, I don't have a right to not feel good."
No, that's... I don't want you to not feel good,
but people have a right to reject you.
In fact, ghosting is not as bad as people think
because the person is sending you a message
by not sending you a message. You know what I mean?
Like, I've never been ghosted and been like,
-"But how do they feel about me?" -(laughter)
That's-- Th-They're telling you.
They're telling you.
You're like, "I don't know how they feel about me."
They-- Yeah, y-you know how-- You know what I mean?
The only people who don't understand ghosting
is those automatic services that text you.
Then they say, "Reply 'stop.'
"If you want to stop getting these messages,
please reply 'stop.'"
You know?
So, I don't know. I think it was unfair for West Elm Caleb.
Because, look, I get, I get what that woman was doing.
She was telling a funny story online.
I don't think she should have included his face.
I don't think she should have included his name.
You can tell the story and it'll be just as funny
without telling-- You could even call--
Call him Furniture Boy. I think that's a great name.
Furniture Boy. Great.
You know? But then I think, as society as well,
we need to calm down with just being these, like--
You know, we're not even, like, detectives.
We just jump into viral mobs.
We don't know the people.
We don't know the full story.
Right?
All we know is that strangers are having drama.
And then, before you know it, we just decide to insert ourselves.
And I always think to myself, before you insert yourself
in any drama like this, ask yourself
if that's what you would want strangers doing to you.
Just ask yourself that question.
That's just my opinion on it, you know.
And-and, please, I know people--
I'm not talking about the dick pics.
Just to be clear.
I'm not including that.
Unsolicited dick pics are never okay.
Never okay.
Dick pics in general, people.
I don't know why anyone is sending dick pics.
Right? They're-they're not cool.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, have you ever seen the statue of David?
Even there, Michelangelo was like, "Giant statue.
Dick, no. He can just..."
He's like, "You don't want this thing now."
(chuckling)
Dicks are not, like-- they're not cool.
No one's day is ever made better by an unexpected dick pic.
You know? No one's ever like, "Yeah, I was really depressed,
"but then I saw Barry's dick and I thought, you know what,
everything's gonna be okay."
(laughter)
Like, if a woman wants to see your dick,
she will ask you for a picture
or she'll watch Euphoria.
There's, like, a dick a minute in that show.
Which is great.
Don't send your dick to anyb--
Nobody, nobody's day is made better
by you randomly sending them your dick.
You seen penises?
They look like depressed old men.
(laughter)
No one wants to see your dick.
So, yeah, that's West Elm Caleb. Oh, by the way,
did I tell you about the date I had with, uh,
Restoration Hardware Heather?
(laughter)
(chuckling)
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is mindfulness expert Jay Shetty.
He's here to talk about his new partnership
with the meditation app Calm. Jay Shetty,
-welcome to The Daily Show. -Trevor, thanks for having me.
Many people see your face, and they go like, "I know this guy.
"I know him from Instagram maybe.
"You know, I know him from having conversations
with Oprah or with Ellen, or..."
You-you very quickly have become the face of, I mean, calm
for many people, you know,
and-and you've talked about Thinking Like a Monk,
your New York Times Best-Selling book.
So I wanted to know this.
Number one-- what does a monk think like?
I know it's a whole book. What does a monk think like?
And secondly, when was the last time you got angry?
So, one of the first things that I realized
when I trained to become a monk is that monks are very normal.
They're... We're all normal people.
They come from normal backgrounds.
They weren't born monks.
-Like, you don't come out of the womb as a monk. -Uh-huh.
And so, a big part of that was learning new mindsets.
So, we were on a 72-hour train journey
-from the north of India to the south of India. -Okay.
Now, as a monk, you don't travel in first class,
you don't travel in economy.
You travel in the lowest class possible.
-So we're on the train. -Wait. Why?
Because you're trying to have as least attachment
-to your surroundings and least-least desires. -Wow. Okay.
Now, I stop at the different stops,
I get off, and I meditate, and I get back on the train,
-and my teacher notices that. -Mm-hmm.
And he says to me, "Why are you not meditating on the train?"
And he said, "Well..." Well, I said,
"It's so hectic on the train, but the stop is peaceful."
-Mm-hmm. -"So I get off at the stop, I do my meditation,
and I get back on."
And he said, "Do you think life is peaceful like the stop,
or is it difficult like the train?"
And, you know, I'm at, like, my first week
of monk training right now, and I said,
"I think it's difficult like the train."
He said, "Well, that's where you practice how to meditate."
-Oh, wow. -So that's how monks think.
-Monks think, how can we be in the chaos... -Okay.
...be in the clutter, -Okay.
...but still look for stillness in that time?
So when was the last time you got angry?
The last time I got angry would have to be, probably,
like, a month ago?
-What were you angry about? -I think I was angry
because I didn't get the Christmas gift I wanted.
(both laughing)
-This is the opposite of... -Totally the opposite.
-What would your monk teacher say about that? -Oh,
they would be very, very disappointed, because--
-Okay, okay, okay. -Yeah.
So this is, this is an interesting life that
you've lived, Jay, because, I mean,
you decided, "You know what, I'm not going to go straight
into business, I'm gonna go to the world of being a monk."
-What stopped you from continuing the monk life? -Yeah.
You know? Like, don't most go, like,
"I don't want for anything,
"I don't need anything,
-no attachment." -Yes.
And that's it. Where-- It feels like you've gone
the opposite way. You've gone monk,
but then I also don't mind balling.
(Jay laughs)
So, most of my friends are still monks,
and a lot of them have continued to be lifelong monks,
And, for me, it was a purpose.
The way we were trained was that
the greatest gift, or the greatest focus of a human
-is, "How can I serve others?" -Oh...
How can I best help others and serve others?
And so, when I shared this doubt that I had with my teachers,
they said to me, "Jay, we feel the same way.
We feel that you'd better serve if you were to move on."
I think that was a nice way of saying, "We're done."
"We're kicking you out." Yeah. That seems like a nice way...
It was like, "It's not you, it's me."
-Like a relationship breakup. -Okay.
But-but they agreed with me.
And now when I still go and study with my teachers
or I-I meet with them or I travel with them,
it's really beautiful to see how they've continued
with that completely detached lifestyle,
but they're so kind and gracious
with how they allow me to be my true self
and allow me to serve in that way.
And I think that's what we're all looking for.
We're looking to be accepted for who we truly are,
-to accept ourselves. -Yes. Yes.
But use what we've been given to serve and help others.
Let's talk a little bit about the Calm app, then.
I think we all want to become more present.
We all want to be less shaken by the world every single day.
And then you get apps on your phone
that are helping you to disconnect from your phone
and find the calm.
Like, there is a paradox in that.
And-and you're teaming up with Calm now
to-to essentially curate experiences around mindfulness.
Is that in and of itself not a paradox?
Are we not living in a world where you should be going like,
"No phones. I'm just gonna email you guys
"something that you can read once,
and then you're gonna know how to meditate"?
It's a massive paradox. I mean, Trevor,
if you're to come with me to India tomorrow,
and we're gonna pack our bags, three months,
not use our phones, we'll do a little retreat together,
-I'm in. -I would do that if the people here
-didn't pay me. But yeah. -You would... I know.
-That's the problem, right? -I would do that. Yes.
-It's never enough. -(laughs)
And, so, I understand that people can't just leave.
-Right. -They can't just stop.
Everyone has bills to pay. Everyone has lives to lead.
Everyone has children or family, whatever it may be.
So I think we have to meet people where they are,
and to me, that's what the apps do.
You're meeting someone where they are
in a world that they understand,
in a world that they can contextualize.
And if we can create a platform
whereby, for seven minutes a day,
you're using your phone to invest in yourself,
you're using your phone to take time for yourself,
then I think that's a great starting point.
And that's what it is. It's a starting point.
What do you think the biggest misconception
around meditation is?
I think the biggest misconception around meditation
is that you have to change what you're wearing,
you have to change where you're sitting
and that you have to silence the mind.
I think people are trying to quiet their mind.
They're trying to stop everything from happening.
And meditation's not about stopping-- it's about observing.
It's about sitting with.
It's about understanding. It's about being curious.
You now live in, I mean, the heart of capitalism.
You know? It's the exact opposite of what you did
-for three years in India. -Yeah.
You know, there's money. There's money to be made.
There's a balance between giving a thing
and getting a thing in return.
I even think about this with, like, meditation
and therapy sometimes. I go,
"It's amazing that the thing most people need the most
is the thing that you have to pay for."
So, like, how do you balance that conundrum
in a world where you're trying to do for others
but then it seems like sometimes it can only be
-for something in exchange? -Yeah,
one of the biggest things that I've definitely tried to do--
and that's why the partnership with Calm is awesome--
is we've tried to provide this service at scale.
So, right now, if you sign up,
you can sign up for $42 for the whole year.
-Okay. -So that's, like, $3.50 a month.
-Okay. -Right? Like, that's the average.
So it's fully accessible.
We've tried to make it as affordable and accessible
for each and every human on the planet.
-Because that's the true desire. -Mm-hmm.
But the way I grapple it with that is
I really enjoy being in the battle
and realizing how weak I am
and seeing my ego arise,
seeing my attachment to money come through
and then having to process it and work on it
rather than be so removed that I believe I'm pure.
So I'd rather be reminded of my flaws and impurities
and have to grapple with that on a daily basis
to make me hold on to higher ideals
than be so far removed from them
that I walk around feeling like I've conquered my mind
but, in reality, I haven't.
So I really enjoy that paradox.
-Man. -(laughs)
It is quite the paradox.
Um, I could talk to you for hours about this.
But thank you so much for joining me on the show.
-Oh, thank you, man. -And, uh, congratulations
on all of your success.
Hopefully we'll, uh... we'll have you again
when the midterms are on
and then we'll test all of these theories
-to help America calm down. -I'd love that.
-Thank you so much, Jay. -I love that. Thank you, Trevor.
-Thank you. -Appreciate it.
Be sure to check out The Daily Jay,
available exclusively on Calm.
All right, we're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after this.
Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go,
this weekend was the 49th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
And while it is still law,
in much of the country,
women's reproductive rights are being threatened.
But Planned Parenthood is on the ground,
helping deliver vital reproductive health care,
sex education and information to millions of people
not just in the United States but worldwide.
So if you want to support them in their mission,
then please donate at the link below.
Until tomorrow, stay safe out there,
get your vaccine and, remember,
just because James Bond is in the trailer
doesn't mean he's in the movie.
Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen.