Does anyone celebrate, uh, Apple here?
(man laughs)
No? No one who observes Apple? Okay.
Apple made big news.
Uh, they announced that starting next year
they're gonna allow people to fix their own phones now,
which is huge.
Yeah, people are super excited.
Like, "Yes, finally, I can fix my..."
Which is also, like, shows you how smart Apple is.
Like, 'cause now they've just tricked us
into fixing our own phones. You know what I mean?
Like, "Yeah! I get to fix my own...
"Wait, how does this...
Wait, how do you put the screen on the..."
I mean, have you tried just to put, like, a screen cover
on your phone? Just a screen protector--
have you ever tried to do that?
Now you're gonna be there fixing your own phone.
Mm, mm, mm. Yeah.
Apple's probably there like, "Yeah, no, no, you guys try,
and then we'll see you-we'll see you at the store."
Yeah. You'll have a cracked screen and then
you'll come in later with, like... just, like, 500 pieces,
begging to get the new iPhone.
"Please, I don't know what happened, guys. Please."
It's still a good thing, though.
It's good because it means now you can get the phone fixed
at, like, a "professional" repair store.
You don't have to go to Apple.
And, also, it means we no longer
have to take it to the Genius Bar.
That was the thing I resented the most.
Those smug people,
"Eh, I'm a genius." No, you're not.
You just know how to fix the phone and I don't.
You just have a special screwdriver.
And I have to call you a genius because
you have a screwdriver that I don't have.
You're not genius, you're just a well-tooled individual.
Don't tell me I'm a genius. You know what I mean?
That's not genius.
Genius can figure quantum things out.
And you-you just, like, screw the phone.
Welcome to the Genius Bar now. Yeah.
Look at me now, look at me.
(heavy African accent): Now I am the genius.
-♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from the heart of Times Square
in New York City-- the only city in America--
it's The Daily Show.
Tonight: other countries have issues too,
giving thanks on the cheap,
and Halle Berry.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
Hey, what's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah.
Let's jump straight into today's headlines.
And there is a lot going on today.
Now, obviously, the new Adele album drops at midnight,
which means you're about to be able to tell
who's going through a breakup through your walls.
The judge in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial
took a bathroom break and let Kyle be the judge
while he was gone. Yeah.
Which I've never seen before, but he insists
it's totally normal. And two men
who were framed for the killing of Malcolm X 50 years ago
were finally exonerated, which means
the real killer
could be anyone in this room.
(whispering voices)
But while American news is always breaking,
it's also good to remember
that other countries have news, too.
♪ ♪
All right, let's kick things off with Russia,
the fictional country depicted in Creed II.
They're also the real-life country that likes
invading other countries, and now they might
be back on their bullshit.
Overseas tonight, and the growing concern
involving Russia. The U.S. is warning
Russia may be weighing a potential invasion of Ukraine.
Satellite images tonight showing Russian troops and equipment
gathering about 142 miles north of the border with Ukraine.
NEWSMAN: Despite an estimated 100,000 Russian troops gathering
along their border, Ukrainian forces appear confident
and prepared for battle.
After years of pushing for membership,
the Eastern European country is still not a part of NATO,
meaning they don't have treaty protection if Russia invades.
Although this hasn't stopped the Americans,
British and French from offering statements of support.
We are going to, uh, watch very closely, uh,
as the Russian Federation, um, uh, chooses its actions
in the coming days and weeks.
Yeah. That's what I want from my allies,
is for them to watch very closely
as someone whips my ass.
Guys! Guys, I'm getting attacked! I'm getting attacked!
Don't worry, man! We watching them land every punch!
Yo, Darnell, you're recording right?
Yeah, we got you, boy, we got you!
We see them beating your ass!
If you're Ukraine, this situation sucks, man.
Because Russia are the bad guys, right?
But it doesn't seem like the world is willing
to get into a war to protect Ukraine.
And can I be honest? Can I be honest with you?
I think it's because people don't have
a personal connection to Ukraine.
Like, if Russia was invading Italy or France,
well, people would do something about it.
Oh, no! The art! the Colosseum!
We have to protect it!
Like, if I was Ukraine, I would have bought
the worldwide rights to all the Seinfeld reruns.
Then people would care.
(Ukrainian accent): if you don't protect us from Russia,
you will never again see Kramer open door like crazy.
Also, this is genius timing from Russia, right?
You realize it's not a mistake.
Because anyone who knows history
knows you're not gonna send troops into Russia
at the beginning of winter.
So basically, Russia has, like,
what, five months to do whatever they want?
Yeah, the rest of the world is gonna be standing by, like:
This will not stand, Russia!
Your ass is gonna pay-- as soon as mid-April rolls around.
Depends on what the groundhog says.
And, like, why does Russia even need more land?
Have you seen Russia? It's huge.
Why are you doing this? Like, I would get it
if Monaco wanted to invade another country.
I mean, they're running out of closet space. But Russia?
Now, while Russia is getting ready to invade,
another country in Europe is setting up
a different kind of invasion.
Because they're not using tanks or missiles.
They're using immigrants.
Turning now to the border crisis,
this one playing out in Europe as thousands of migrants
try to enter the European Union from Belarus.
NEWSWOMAN: These are the front lines of what the European Union
says is a hybrid war. The E.U. accusing
Belarus's dictator Alexander Lukashenko
of using migrants as weapons, purposefully luring them
into Belarus from countries like Iraq and Syria
by promising them easy access to Europe.
Poland then refusing to let them in,
Belarus refusing to take them back,
leaving thousands of people stuck in the middle.
Man, come on, people, this is just dirty.
Basically, what's going on is that for a while now,
the European Union has been imposing sanctions
on Alexander Lukashenko,
the dictator of Belarus and Eastern Europe's MyPillow guy.
And, you see, he's been stealing elections,
he's been cracking down on protesters,
jailing journalists, basic dictator shit.
And now Lukashenko is trying to get back at the European Union
by flying in migrants from the Middle East,
and then sending them into Poland
to create a border crisis.
Which is the most passive- aggressive military tactic
I have ever heard of.
This is like when your parents start cooking with peanuts
to get you to move out of the house
because they know you're allergic.
It's a dick move.
And, honestly, everyone is really mad about this,
not just because it's inhumane to these migrants,
but because, unlike Ukraine,
we can't let anything happen to Poland.
I mean, that's where all our water comes from.
Because you realize, people, this is especially cruel, right?
It's especially cruel to these migrants.
These are real people
who are just trying to live better lives.
It is disgusting to use them as weapons.
I mean, say what you want about Drake and Kanye's beef,
but at least they didn't catapult Mexicans at each other.
But let's move on, because while Belarus is trying
to destabilize Poland, there's another country
that's already on the brink of collapse.
NEWSWOMAN: Ethiopia, where a brutal year-long conflict
has forced millions out of their homeland
and is threatening to disintegrate
into an all-out civil war.
Rebels from Tigray Province appear to be advancing
toward the capital, Addis Ababa.
Ethiopia's prime minister called for national unity,
and authorities in Addas Ababa
rounded up ethnic Tigrayans today.
NEWSMAN: Two weeks ago, the state department
urged all Americans to leave Ethiopia.
But with echoes of Afghanistan, the state department
doesn't know or won't say
how many Americans are in the country.
Last week, the state department did make a point
of saying there would be no Afghan-style evacuation
for Americans stuck in Ethiopia.
They did, however, offer to help them
get on commercial flights out.
Yeah, this is tough news for Ethiopians,
and this is tough news for Americans in Ethiopia.
Because in Afghanistan,
the U.S. government staged an all-out airlift.
Meanwhile, in Ethiopia, they're like,
"Might we suggest Priceline.com?"
Like, I don't even know what that means. What do they mean
when they say, "The State Department
will help you book a commercial flight out"?
That's not helpful. People know how to book flights.
That's like going, "Hey! Hey, you, do you need a ride?
"Do you need a ride? Yeah, well, I'm happy to help.
"So, what you got to do is open Uber on your phone,
then you hit 'request a ride.' Best of luck, buddy."
Also, flying commercial is the worst way
to evacuate a war zone. Can you imagine that stress?
"Please, please, the soldiers. The soldiers are coming.
We need to get out now."
"Sir, are you a Diamond Medallion Member?
"Okay, please step aside.
"Anyone in group 'A' or above, we're boarding you now.
"Sir, please... Please stand back.
Just relax. Thank you."
And you know who this is a great opportunity for, though, right?
Alexander Lukashenko.
I bet he's already sliding into American DMs like,
"I can hook you up with free private flights
to the Polish border. Are you interested?"
But you got to feel for Ethiopians, man,
because anytime their country's in the news,
it is either because of war or famine
or some long-distance runner broke the world record,
which are all pretty extreme things, if you think about it.
I feel like we need more coverage
of just, like, regular-ass Ethiopians,
you know, who can't run,
don't know how to fight and just want to chill.
And please understand this. Please understand.
This is a really complicated and sensitive story, right?
Because for-for about a year now,
the government has been at war with a rebel group.
But that's, like, the simplified version,
because there are so many layers of this conflict
that we just don't have the time to do it justice.
This is a huge beef
with a history that goes back decades
involving rival ethnic groups,
different territories, foreign interference
because African conflicts are never simple.
They're super complicated,
and everyone has different versions of events.
They're-they're basically like white people conflict
but with more seasoning.
So, from Russia's military to migrants in Belarus
and armies in Ethiopia,
people everywhere are on the move.
Meanwhile, in India,
the only place people might be moving to
is back inside.
Smothered by smog, a toxic haze hanging over New Delhi,
and it is raising the level of air pollution
to dangerous levels.
Schools in the Indian capital
have shut their doors until further notice,
and private construction banned at least for now.
NEWSWOMAN: India's environmental ministry panel on air pollution
has directed Delhi and other states
to encourage private offices to allow work from home.
But for street vendors,
staying home is not an option.
(speaking foreign language)
(translated): The pollution is unbearable.
The government must take some steps.
We are forced to work,
because we can't stay indoors forever.
NEWSWOMAN: For now, Delhi's residents
will be inhaling this toxic air,
which, according to a report by the University of Chicago,
is ten times worse in northern India
than anywhere else in the world.
Goddamn, did you hear that?
The air in New Delhi right now
is ten times worse
than anywhere else in the world.
That means you'd be better off
just sticking your face in that steam
that comes out of the ground in New York City.
Which, by the way, what is that shit?
Like, is there a fire down there?
I've lived here for many years.
I still don't understand what that is.
Like, is someone dry-cleaning a rat?
What-what... Feel like it's worth looking into.
No one? Just me?
You know, one detail I like from this story
is that the Indian government put together
an environmental ministry panel on air pollution
who confirmed that the air was, indeed, polluted.
Uh, you don't need a panel. I don't know why they did that.
Why do governments like doing this? You just need eyes.
"Yes, after three years of study,
"we have concluded that Delhi's air is brown
and that this is, uh, bad."
But, you see, this is a great example
of why we all need to move to cleaner energy.
Because, yes, it is expensive to do,
but it is also hella expensive
to constantly shut down the economy
when your city turns into a sandstorm from Dune.
Except this time, Timothée Chalamet isn't there
to make you feel better with that smile.
And you might be like, "Well, Trevor,
why don't they just start carpooling in India?"
My man, they're way ahead of you, and it's still not enough.
It's actually a real rough spot for India because,
as a nation, you want to keep modernizing,
you want to keep growing, but then,
the fallout of those effects make it so
that you can't even enjoy the fruits of modernization.
You know, it's almost like
someone who gets really into CrossFit
to help them attract women, but then,
they push everyone away because they can't stop talking
about the fact that they joined CrossFit.
Now those abs are useless.
And you wouldn't be able to tell this from the story,
but New Delhi is one of the most beautiful places in the world.
I mean, this is what it looked like last year
after months of lockdown and the smog dissipating.
But now, it's back to looking like it's stuck
on a permanent sepia filter.
All right, but let's move on to our final international story.
And like most things in the world,
this story was made in China.
NEWSMAN: The royalty of professional tennis
expressing concern about the welfare of one of their own.
Honestly, it's shocking, you know, that-that she's missing.
NEWSMAN: Peng Shuai, a Chinese tennis champion,
hasn't been seen or heard from in weeks.
In early November, Peng published this bombshell post
on her Chinese social media account--
an open letter to a former top communist leader
named Zhang Gaoli, now age 75,
who Peng accuses of sexually assaulting her
after the two had an affair.
Shortly after the controversial post,
Peng's online profile more or less disappeared.
Until recently, Peng Shuai was one
of the biggest tennis stars in China.
But look what happens when you try to search for people
with her name in the Chinese internet.
You get the message, "No results found."
Censors have all but scrubbed this woman
from the Chinese Internet.
Now today, a new twist,
with Chinese state media releasing this email,
purportedly written by Peng to the head
of the Women's Tennis Association.
It completely disavows the previous allegations
of sexual assault, adding,
"I'm not missing, nor am I unsafe,"
and, "I hope Chinese tennis will become better and better."
Yo, this is really disturbing.
Someone speaks out about sexual assault,
and then China's government just makes them disappear?
And then what's even worse is
that they release some bullshit email
pretending like everything is fine?
'Cause, come on, people.
That email from the tennis star was as legit
as the letters I got
from my supermodel girlfriend in fifth grade.
"She's coming next year, guys. I swear."
This is what makes China so terrifying.
Like, if you're on their good side,
well, things are great.
But if you try to tell the truth
about how China is a country that constantly oppress...
(translated):
what the hell was that?! I'm not even in China!
Look, man, it's one thing
for your government to come after you.
It's another thing for them to just make you never exist.
I mean, they scrubbed the Internet of anything
about this tennis player.
Do you know how hard it is to get stuff off of the Internet?
Only China can do that.
In fact, if you have embarrassing pictures online
or problematic tweets, just move to China
and talk shit about the communist party.
Yeah, they'll clean up your reputation in no time.
I mean, yeah, you'll be locked in a basement somewhere,
but, hey, at least you didn't get canceled.
And this also really puts into perspective
when people in America complain
about being censored by big tech.
Aw, Twitter took down my tweet.
This is a tyranny!
Guys, Peng Shuai literally does not exist
on the Internet anymore.
Like, yeah, maybe Trump can't tweet right now,
but you can still google him.
Trust me. Just yesterday, I searched for
"Donald Trump big butt photos."
I got 80 million hits.
And, no, I'm not gonna tell you why I googled that.
I like big butts, and I cannot lie.
All right, that's all the time we have
for international news. When we come back,
we'll tell you how you can survive
the most expensive Thanksgiving of all time.
And Halle Berry is still joining me on the show.
You don't want to miss it.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. Thanksgiving
is just around the corner, but with the price
of groceries these days, a big dinner could be more expensive
than buying Yeezys for your Lamborghini.
Fortunately, Desi Lydic has some up with
some tips for celebrating Thanksgiving on a budget.
♪ ♪
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
They say that this year is going to be
the most expensive Thanksgiving ever.
Inflation is hitting everything:
groceries, cookware, decorative gourds,
even the really ugly, bumpy ones.
I know I'm tightening my belt this year,
but don't worry-- you can still have
an amazing Thanksgiving without breaking the bank.
Let's start with the turkey.
This year, turkey prices are almost double
what they were a few years ago, but there are still
deals out there if you know how to shop smart.
For instance, did you know that
you can get factory-reject turkeys
at Butterball outlet stores nationwide?
This one only cost ten dollars.
And it has three necks,
so there's even more to go around.
You can also check Craigslist
for some perfectly good
gently-used turkeys.
Now, why should this go to a landfill just because
one person already owned it?
But if your turkey budget is zero, here's a great hack.
You just trace your hand...
Now we're gonna want to do a little beak
and some googly eyes.
Voilà! How cute is this little turkey?
Now, you're gonna want to drench this bad boy in olive oil.
No one likes a dry turkey.
We're gonna want to roast this at 400 degrees
for about one hour.
Of course, you can't have turkey without stuffing.
But you don't need to take out a second mortgage
or start an OnlyFans
to pay for all the ingredients that you need.
Most of us have perfectly good stuffing already
right inside our kids' teddy bears.
Just going to want to get in there.
Just going to want to take the stuffing, scoop it out.
Just shove it in that bird.
Get it in there, roast it.
It's going to soak up all those flavors,
and really help the turkey keep its shape.
And the best stuffing is right in the face.
(quietly): There we go.
But let's talk side dishes, because this is where
the dollars can really start adding up.
One of my favorites is mashed potatoes.
They're delicious, and I have a simple trick
for making a little go a long way.
So, you just make one mashed potato...
chew it up...
Mmm. Mmm.
Spit it back out.
And then you want to just pass it around the table
for everyone to enjoy.
They're mashed anyway, so it will not affect
the texture or flavor at all.
What about drinks?
Most of the grown-ups at the table
are probably going to want a nice glass of wine,
especially when Uncle Steve starts talking about QAnon.
And that can get expensive fast.
But fortunately, you can get the same pleasant buzz
at a fraction of the price with paint thinner.
♪ ♪
Mmm.
I'm detecting notes of my garage
and just a hint of the previous owners of my house
who left this behind when they moved.
This also pairs well with the hallucinations.
(echoing voices): Hallucinations...
hallucinations...
Now to the most important part of the meal: dessert.
Pumpkin pie can get expensive,
whether you're making it from scratch,
buying it from the store or buying it from the store
and saying you made it from scratch,
then carrying the shame and guilt of that lie
for the rest of your life.
But why spend money when we already have
so much pumpkin spice stuff around the house?
Like this scented candle
I got from my Secret Santa three years ago.
It's an absolute garbage gift,
but wait until you taste it in a dessert.
Just cook it at...
I don't know, 200? 500?
Honestly, it doesn't even make a difference,
because as you can see, it comes out...
perfect every time.
(grunts)
-Mmm. -(crunching)
And for all of you thinking about holiday weight gain,
wax is not digestible,
so no worries there.
Comes out the same as it goes in. (chuckles)
(music slowing, distorting)
(echoing): Am I a turkey?
Finally, if you really want to save money on Thanksgiving,
just remember the original spirit of the holiday
and do what the pilgrims did: steal.
They stole food, land,
even valuables from Native American graves.
So why not take a page from history
and steal whatever you need?
Hey, with Christmas around the corner,
go ahead and steal whatever you want for that, too.
Look, I'm Santa.
Ho ho ho.
-Ooh! My paper turkey's ready. -(fire alarm beeping)
Mmm, yum!
(coughing) Oh. Shit.
Shit. Got to get this out of here.
(coughing continues)
Evacuate! Evacuate!
♪ ♪
All right, when we come back, the one and only Halle Berry
will be joining me in the studio, so don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is Oscar, Emmy
and Golden Globe-winning actor Halle Berry.
She's here to talk about making her directorial debut
in the new film Bruised.
Aah!
(both grunting)
You don't look like no UFC, Justice.
And five seconds, four,
three, two...
(whistle blows)
-Whew! -(chuckles)
-Halle Berry. -It was rough. (laughs)
-It-it looked rough. -Yes.
It looked extremely rough. Welcome to the show.
Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Uh, I'm happy to have you here, but I-I...
I'm not gonna lie, I was... I was genuinely surprised
in, like, such a fun way, watching this movie,
because I've seen you kick ass in a lot of films.
Right? I've seen you act your heart out in so many films.
But, I don't know why, for me, this movie felt like
the culmination of everything coming together.
You know? It was Halle Berry the fighter,
it was Halle Berry the actress,
it was Halle Berry, you know, feeling pain,
showing moments of joy.
It-it felt like it was a culmination
of a lot of just you as a human being.
Congratulations on your directorial debut.
-What was that like? -Thank you.
Wow. It's funny you said that, because you know what,
I felt that way, too. And being at the helm
and being in charge,
I could put all of that into the movie.
I could play to, you know, not only
my strengths but to the strengths of all the characters,
-you know, in the movie. -I can only imagine.
-All the actors, so, yes. -This story has
such a fascinating beginning. This was a story
-that wasn't originally written for you, you know? -No.
It-it went out, I think it was to Blake Lively,
and-and people were like, "Oh, it's this
"Irish Catholic white woman and it's gonna be the story
of this twentysomething-year-old scrappy UFC fighter."
And you saw the story and said, "I think there's a different
-way to tell this story." -Yeah, and you know, the idea
came because I desperately wanted to play this character.
I love the fight game, I've been a boxing fan since I was a kid.
I was now, when I got this script, an avid MMA fan,
especially of all the women in the sport.
So when I read it, I thought this is
the kind of role that I would kill for.
-It's meaty. It's juicy. -I love that.
I get to use all of my physicality.
Except it wasn't written for someone like me,
so that was the impetus for reimagining it.
And I told my agent, if Blake decides not to do this,
can you please let me get to the producers
and give them my pitch on how and why
I think a reimagining would be in order.
And for me, I felt like,
based on where we are in the world and, you know,
Time's Up and Me Too, and where we as Black women
and Black people are arriving to,
-Mm-hmm. -it's time that we get a chance
to tell our stories from our own point of view through our lens.
And so I said, if we're going to remake a fight movie,
they've been made by the greats, some of the best movies,
Rocky and Fight Club and Million Dollar Baby,
if we're going to redo it, the only reason to do it
is to have a fresh new point of view,
something we have never seen, and we've never seen it...
a Black female fighter,
especially from a Black female director.
-Right? So... -Definitely, definitely.
it was new-- there was a reason to do it.
Yeah, and you know what, and it also feels like it comments
on so many things, you know?
So as a fan of UFC, I'm sure you know
you know, what it feels like on the inside, you know?
I've talked to some of the female fighters in the UFC,
where they go: Man, we feel like we have to be
so much more brutal to get acknowledged.
We have to feel like we have to fight so much harder
to just maintain our spot in that Octagon.
And they do get the respect, but they really, really,
really have to work towards it.
And it feels like it's no different in Hollywood,
you know, is that a woman in Hollywood,
especially a Black woman in Hollywood,
-you have to fight so much harder to be recognized. -Yes.
You have to be, you know, I mean,
everyone would think, Halle Berry wins the Oscar,
and then it's, like, this is it, you know?
It seems like it's like, oh, this is going to be
the end of your life, you get to do whatever you like,
but you have had to continue working hard
-Yeah. -to fight for what you want to do in the industry.
True. One of the big misconceptions
was when I won that Oscar, that somehow the script truck
-just backed up to my door. -(laughing)
Like, no truck came. My fight didn't really get any easier.
I still had to face that I was a Black woman in an industry,
and there was no real way for me that had been paved.
I had to figure that out for myself.
And, as with fighting, Shannon Knapp,
who runs Invicta, you know, the all-female league,
-Yes. Yes. -She told me that having her female fighters
when she went to a venue,
she would have to pay to come to the venue.
-Where with the male fighters, they would pay them. -Wow.
So it is indelibly harder for women across the board,
and especially in the fight game.
You know, the movie was... it's brutal,
is the best way to put it.
And it's brutal in the way life is brutal, is the way I see it.
And I couldn't help wondering, as Halle Berry, the actress,
have you often felt like, man, you're always fighting
to keep your career where you want it to be
as opposed to letting people decide
when and where you're done?
Because you-you come from a generation
where, let's be honest, they would go,
-"You're 40, and it's over for you." -Yeah.
So many actresses talk about that. 40 and done.
And now it seems like the fight is working
-in changing that perspective. -Yeah.
Theoretically, I should have been done a decade ago.
-Damn. -(chuckles) You know?
So, I... But I do feel that.
And as a woman, I do feel like that.
I have to keep fighting and keep reinventing
and keep, you know, proving
that there's still, you know, more left for me to do.
-Mm-hmm. -And-and I actually feel
that there's more left for me to do.
I'm still inspired by this car... by this craft.
I still love what I do.
I want to keep challenging myself and keep growing.
I want to see how long I could stay in this physical shape
-and do these kinds of movies. -Right. Right, right.
You know, that's the joy of it.
I want to try new things.
-How long... -You know? I want to take new risks.
How long can you stay in this physical shape?
-You broke how many ribs doing this movie? -(laughs)
-Two. -Two ribs break... broken in this movie.
-Yes. -I remember distinctly 'cause I'm a big fan.
John Wick, you broke ribs, as well.
-Three ribs. -Three on that.
-So I'm getting better. (laughs) -I mean, I guess.
-It's still five ribs... -Next year, it'll just be one.
It's still five ribs in total. There's a lot of ribs that...
-Same ribs or different ribs? -Different ribs.
-Okay. -Because here's the thing. But here's the thing
that I would like people to know.
It's not just, "Oh, Halle Berry always gets hurt."
When you are a performer that does your own stunts,
that's par for the course.
Every stuntman, stuntwoman,
usually, on every film, gets hurt in some way.
We don't hear about it because they don't talk about it
-and the public doesn't really care. -Oh, yes. Okay.
That's their job, right?
So, when a performer gets hurt, it becomes a big deal
because most performers don't do their own stunts,
so they don't get hurt.
So I sort of get this bad rap
of always getting hurt, always getting hurt,
but I always demand to do my own stunts.
-I always face that challenge. -Yeah, but in this film,
it wasn't just doing your own stunts.
I mean, with John Wick, they paused production.
This film was a smaller, independent film.
-Yes. -You're directing it. And you decide,
"I've broken the ribs. I'm gonna keep fighting in the movie."
I mean, I-I can barely carry on if I've, like, stubbed a toe.
I'll be like, "Let's pause production for a while, guys.
-Let's-let's chill." -But you're a man.
-That's true. That is true. -(laughs)
I have bigger toes. That's when you're saying.
-We have babies. (laughs) -We have more toes. (laughs)
-Women have higher tolerance for pain. -Yes.
That's why we have the children and you guys don't.
That-that is very true. But I think of it as like,
"Man, Halle Berry's a badass."
I go like, "You're breaking ribs."
You know, you're-you're in these fight scenes,
you're doing these things.
Like, you had to learn how to fight again for this.
You-you learned... You learned martial arts
for X-Men, right?
-Mm, a little bit. More for Catwoman. -Yes.
I learned capoeira for Catwoman.
-Like, capoeira capoeira? Wow. -Yes, capoeira, yeah.
-Yeah, Brazilian, yeah. I learned that. -Okay.
'Cause that was all a part of bringing that cat...
-It was low to the ground, it was sinewy. -Oh, okay.
What else have...? What other martial arts?
I did, uh, boxing and kickboxing, but for this,
like, the jujitsu, the Tae Kwon Do, the judo,
-the wrestling, Muay Thai. -It's terribly hard.
-Jujitsu is so hard. -So hard.
It's just, like, all clothes and fingers
-and, like, getting knocked in the face. -Yeah.
-Why would you do this? -It's so... 'cause it's so fun.
It's also so fun. And I was a gymnast as a kid.
-I didn't know this. -So, yeah.
I was supposed to be Simone Biles.
-But Simone became Simone, not me. (laughs) -(laughs)
Oh, that was my dream-- to go to the Olympics
-and win a gold medal some day in gymnastics. -Oh, you never...
That could be your next film. You never know.
-Or you could make a film with Simone Biles. -Really.
-Just bring the whole story together. -Maybe.
-You know what I'm saying? -I could be the oldest woman
to win a gold medal at the Olympics. (laughing)
Anything can happen in this day and age.
Um, your story is one that you're continuing to write.
What did you love about directing that was different?
Because you've been on this side of the lens
-for such a long time. -Mm.
NOAH: There must have been something new
that you discovered that you loved
about buying on the other side of the camera.
I think what I loved most was that I got to have this idea
in my head, and I got to shape it and form it
and reshape it and reform it.
And I got to sort of bring to the screen
-pretty much exactly what I had in my head. -Mm.
And I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do that.
-Because we had such a low budget. -Right.
And while my days kept getting cut,
and I kept losing money left and right--
it's hard in the independent world--
What I loved was that, as a Black woman,
I got a story out of my body that was true to my gaze,
that was true to my community, it was true to my race,
to my sex, that all of it felt like an amalgamation
of all the three years that I worked on this.
I got to tell a true point of view about a sport
-from a female point of view. -Hmm.
And had I not been myself,
I don't know if that would have happened
because I loved the sport and I also loved the drama
of it at the same time.
So I tried to put equal emphasis on both elements.
Well, I'll tell you this. You did a fantastic job.
-Thank you, Trevor. -I think you had a lot of fun making it.
It's a lot of fun watching it. And thank you so much
-for joining me on the show. -Thank you for having me.
All right, people, Bruised is in select theatres right now,
and will be available on Netflix November 24.
We're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after this.
Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go,
please consider supporting
the Native American Food Sovereignty Alliance-- NAFSA.
They support native communities by restoring food systems
that rebuild relationships with the land,
water, plants, and animals that sustain all of us.
If you want to support them in their work, this Thanksgiving,
then donate at the link below.
Also, if you're in Grand Rapids, Michigan,
or Chicago this weekend,
my Back to Abnormal Comedy Tour is gonna be in your city.
And if you're in Seattle, Portland
or Kennewick, Washington,
well, next weekend, I'm coming to you.
And if you're in none of those places,
well, then, just ignore that this ever happened.
Otherwise head to:
to get your tickets.
Until next time, stay safe out there,
get your vaccine, and remember, people.
On Thanksgiving, start a political fight
right after the turkey.
That way, everyone will be distracted
while you get all the dessert.
Now, here it is-- Your Moment of Zen.
I guess the Muppets are getting to me, man.
After spreading their communist-inspired
COVID propaganda last week,
well, now, they've unveiled an Asian Muppet.
I'm not sure what this Muppet is supposed to portray.
Muppets-- I didn't think they had nationalities.
What race are Bert and Ernie?
The Count-- he's got an accent, but he's purple.
And you, Kermit, you.
Still waiting to debate you.
Step up to the plate, froggy!
♪ ♪