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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,336
You watched
the NBA opening thing,
2
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,971
didn't you? Yeah? Opening game?
3
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:07,074
The Los Angeles Lakers,
the Golden State Warriors.
4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,142
What an amazing game.
5
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,142
What an amazing game.
6
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:12,145
I love how the commentators
talk about LeBron
7
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:12,145
I love how the commentators
talk about LeBron
8
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,680
like he's dead, though.
9
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,616
That's probably one of the
strangest things that I watch,
10
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,117
especially in American sports.
11
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,117
especially in American sports.
12
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,620
They'll be like,
"LeBron James with a...
13
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,022
"Wow! Oh, man! He...
14
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,022
"Wow! Oh, man! He...
15
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:25,225
I can't believe he's
still doing that at that age."
16
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:25,225
I can't believe he's
still doing that at that age."
17
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,895
He's 36.
18
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,564
They make it sound
like-like an 80-year-old man
19
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,564
They make it sound
like-like an 80-year-old man
20
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:31,698
is running around on the court.
21
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,768
"LeBron!
He's still got it, folks."
22
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,768
"LeBron!
He's still got it, folks."
23
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,203
You know,
why I get pissed off about that
24
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,203
You know,
why I get pissed off about that
25
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,472
is 'cause I'm the same age
as LeBron, basically,
26
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,207
and then whenever they talk
about him, the commentator
27
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,207
and then whenever they talk
about him, the commentator
28
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,209
will be like, "Yo,
you would assume that's he's...
29
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,279
I mean, he shouldn't be able
to do these things at that age."
30
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,279
I mean, he shouldn't be able
to do these things at that age."
31
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,447
And I'm like, "Guys, I'm not...
I'm not that old."
32
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,582
Like, I find...
33
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,582
Like, I find...
34
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,384
I'm taking it personally
on the couch.
35
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,019
(chuckles):
I'm like, "I'm not that old."
36
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,019
(chuckles):
I'm like, "I'm not that old."
37
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,687
"He's so old and..."
38
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,722
"I'm not that old, guys."
39
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,157
♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
41
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from the heart of Times Square,
42
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,161
the most important place
on Earth,
43
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,161
the most important place
on Earth,
44
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,263
it's The Daily Show.
45
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,333
Tonight, shots for cops,
46
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,333
Tonight, shots for cops,
47
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,836
getting to know Vladimir Putin
48
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,836
getting to know Vladimir Putin
49
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,805
and Nick Offerman.
50
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,943
This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
51
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,943
This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
52
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,579
Hey, what's going on, everybody?
53
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah,
54
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,848
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah,
55
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,549
and joining me
for today's headlines
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00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,552
is our very own Dulcé Sloan.
What's going on, Dulcé?
57
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,552
is our very own Dulcé Sloan.
What's going on, Dulcé?
58
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,387
-What's happening, baby? Hey!
-How you doing?
59
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,756
So good to see you here again
hanging out. You know, cool.
60
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,756
So good to see you here again
hanging out. You know, cool.
61
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,191
Yeah, you're ready
for the jokes, right?
62
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,126
Hey, man, every time I come,
they give free clothes.
63
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,126
Hey, man, every time I come,
they give free clothes.
64
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,462
So, listen, I'm, um...
65
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,097
I'm just here, you know,
looking at my...
66
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,097
I'm just here, you know,
looking at my...
67
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,398
Looking for a Halloween costume.
68
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:39,633
You know,
just looking for clothes
69
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,201
on company time, as I do.
70
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,201
on company time, as I do.
71
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,836
Wait, I'm-I'm sorry, what?
72
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,104
What?
73
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,104
What?
74
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:45,606
We'll-we'll...
Whatever, we ignore that.
75
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,774
So, what are you... what are you
gonna go for as Halloween?
76
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,676
I don't know.
You know, sometimes,
77
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,676
I don't know.
You know, sometimes,
78
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,212
you just want to be,
like, sexy random thing.
79
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,212
you just want to be,
like, sexy random thing.
80
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,915
-Uh-huh, uh-huh. -So,
what I really have been enjoying
81
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,417
is, like, sexy,
like, pepper shaker.
82
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,417
is, like, sexy,
like, pepper shaker.
83
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,319
-Okay, okay.
-Condiment packet.
84
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,522
-Yes.
-You know, sexy coin purse,
85
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,522
-Yes.
-You know, sexy coin purse,
86
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,923
which could...
87
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,058
could be innuendo,
which I'm hoping for.
88
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,058
could be innuendo,
which I'm hoping for.
89
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,860
-Okay, okay.
-Uh, but... What are you...
90
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,896
Are you gonna go as anything?
Do you celebrate Halloween?
91
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,896
Are you gonna go as anything?
Do you celebrate Halloween?
92
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,497
-Is there a Halloween
where you're from? -No,
93
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,699
you get burned if you celebrate
Halloween where I'm from.
94
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,699
you get burned if you celebrate
Halloween where I'm from.
95
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,368
-Um, but-but I...
-I-I support that.
96
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,803
But I do like... I do like going
out and, like, just dressing...
97
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,803
But I do like... I do like going
out and, like, just dressing...
98
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,273
I-I... I find it's just, like,
a cool time to just...
99
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,742
I-I try and dress
as a warm thing.
100
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,742
I-I try and dress
as a warm thing.
101
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,144
I find a lot of people
go the opposite direction.
102
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,144
I find a lot of people
go the opposite direction.
103
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,646
'Cause I-I find
the time of year is...
104
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,214
-It's very cold.
-It's October, yeah.
105
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,082
Yeah, and so I find...
I try to make it...
106
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,082
Yeah, and so I find...
I try to make it...
107
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,151
Whatever I am,
it's like warm Jason
108
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,554
or warm Freddy Krueger.
Like, Freddy Krueger's great
109
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,554
or warm Freddy Krueger.
Like, Freddy Krueger's great
110
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,721
'cause he's got,
like, the sweater.
111
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:35,789
-Right, but m...
-So, that's what I...
112
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,226
But male costumes
are always warm.
113
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,226
But male costumes
are always warm.
114
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,128
-Yeah. -Trying to be, like,
the pope or something like that?
115
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,128
-Yeah. -Trying to be, like,
the pope or something like that?
116
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,496
Where you're just, like,
full coverage?
117
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,698
-That's a pretty cool...
You see? -Nobody needs that.
118
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,698
-That's a pretty cool...
You see? -Nobody needs that.
119
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,533
They want to see Trevor Noah,
chest popping,
120
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,135
Clark Kent, Superman.
121
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,135
Clark Kent, Superman.
122
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,736
-Bam.
-Eh. Eh.
123
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,773
-What? -Nobody's sexy
when they're shivering.
124
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,773
-What? -Nobody's sexy
when they're shivering.
125
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,474
(laughs)
126
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,809
That is not true,
127
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,377
'cause when you shake,
you twerk a little bit.
128
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,377
'cause when you shake,
you twerk a little bit.
129
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,214
I didn't think of that.
I did not think
130
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,214
I didn't think of that.
I did not think
131
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,515
-of that. -That's
what I'm here for, friend.
132
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,552
All right, well,
let's kick things off
133
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,354
with some news about Facebook,
134
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,122
Instagram's weird aunt.
135
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,122
Instagram's weird aunt.
136
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:11,058
And I know it seems
like we talk about Facebook
137
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,560
more than your mom talks about
a nice girl you should meet,
138
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,560
more than your mom talks about
a nice girl you should meet,
139
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,095
but this story is different,
140
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,432
because Facebook is reportedly
going to change its name.
141
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,432
because Facebook is reportedly
going to change its name.
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00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,068
Yeah, the website
will still be Facebook,
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00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,068
Yeah, the website
will still be Facebook,
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00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,071
but the company
is going to have a new name.
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00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,071
but the company
is going to have a new name.
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00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,806
And I don't know
if this is a good idea.
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00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,275
I mean, Facebook
is one of those iconic brands
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00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,275
I mean, Facebook
is one of those iconic brands
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00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,410
like Hiroshima and Ted Bundy.
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00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,546
Do you really want to lose
that name recognition?
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00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,546
Do you really want to lose
that name recognition?
152
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,916
But I am excited to find out
what the new name is gonna be.
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00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:39,253
Like, you know, I don't know,
maybe they'll go with Myspace.
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00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,088
I mean, they already took
everything else from them!
155
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,088
I mean, they already took
everything else from them!
156
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,623
Might as well finish the job!
157
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,424
Killed my friend Tom.
158
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,424
Killed my friend Tom.
159
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,293
So, why is Facebook pulling a Ye
160
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,661
and shopping around
for a new name?
161
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,664
Well, it turns out
there are a couple of reasons.
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00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,664
Well, it turns out
there are a couple of reasons.
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00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,099
NEWSWOMAN: The name will reflect
the company's focus
164
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,099
NEWSWOMAN: The name will reflect
the company's focus
165
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,800
on building the metaverse
and its desire
166
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,602
to be known
as more than social media.
167
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,704
The rebrand could also
help Facebook separate itself
168
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,704
The rebrand could also
help Facebook separate itself
169
00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:01,542
from intense scrutiny for how
its social platform operates.
170
00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:01,542
from intense scrutiny for how
its social platform operates.
171
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,277
Okay. Okay,
a few th-thoughts on this.
172
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,479
Um, um, first,
I-I don't think the name
173
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,479
Um, um, first,
I-I don't think the name
174
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,414
is really the problem
that people have with Facebook.
175
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,649
Yeah, society's like
176
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,649
Yeah, society's like
177
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,050
"Yo, you guys
are destroying democracy."
178
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,618
And Facebook is like,
"We hear you.
179
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,421
What if we went by Bookface?"
180
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,421
What if we went by Bookface?"
181
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,523
Second, if you want
to change your image,
182
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,523
Second, if you want
to change your image,
183
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:19,426
I don't think you should trust
Mark Zuckerberg to do that.
184
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,061
I mean, have you seen
this man's haircut?
185
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,061
I mean, have you seen
this man's haircut?
186
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,729
It looks like he goes
to the barber
187
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,364
and asks him to give him
the colonial child.
188
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,364
and asks him to give him
the colonial child.
189
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,899
You trust him
with your makeover?
190
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,503
But, more importantly, I feel
like we're focusing on the name
191
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,503
But, more importantly, I feel
like we're focusing on the name
192
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,904
and that's distracting us
from the fact
193
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,706
that they're building
a metaverse.
194
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,706
that they're building
a metaverse.
195
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,741
What does that even mean?
Do you hear that?
196
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,643
Are we supposed to just pretend
that's not terrifying?
197
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,643
Are we supposed to just pretend
that's not terrifying?
198
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,512
Facebook has got us arguing
about names.
199
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,247
Meanwhile, they're getting ready
to suck our brains
200
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,247
Meanwhile, they're getting ready
to suck our brains
201
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,816
through the computer and put us
into an online labor camp.
202
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,251
And don't kid yourself.
203
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,251
And don't kid yourself.
204
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,252
You know that the only reason
205
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,787
Mark Zuckerberg
wants a metaverse
206
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,656
is because he can make it all
so that our online versions
207
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,656
is because he can make it all
so that our online versions
208
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,124
sound exactly like him.
209
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,794
"Hello, Mark. I'm Trevor.
So nice to meet you."
210
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,794
"Hello, Mark. I'm Trevor.
So nice to meet you."
211
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,864
"Finally, a world
where everybody talks normally.
212
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,864
"Finally, a world
where everybody talks normally.
213
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,232
It's so good to be here."
214
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,634
Okay, okay.
But fir-first, first,
215
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,634
Okay, okay.
But fir-first, first,
216
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:04,037
first, can you never
217
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:04,037
first, can you never
218
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,306
ever be that Zuckerboyberg
again?
219
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,175
That shit was-- I don't-- Mm!
220
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,175
That shit was-- I don't-- Mm!
221
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,343
"Is-is that--
is that weird, Dulcé?"
222
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,044
Hey, man,
I'm-a throw something at you!
223
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,580
That shit is too creepy.
224
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,580
That shit is too creepy.
225
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,082
"Maybe I'll go as
Mark Zuckerberg for Halloween."
226
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,950
-Stop! (laughs)
-(laughs)
227
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,950
-Stop! (laughs)
-(laughs)
228
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,819
Listen, but, like,
you know what that sounds like?
229
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,188
When white dudes do
a white dude voice.
230
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,188
When white dudes do
a white dude voice.
231
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:24,591
-Oh, that's so funny. (laughs)
-Like, when white... (laughs)
232
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:24,591
-Oh, that's so funny. (laughs)
-Like, when white... (laughs)
233
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,827
Like, when white people do
an impression of white people,
234
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,295
that's what he sounds like.
235
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,295
that's what he sounds like.
236
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:31,398
That he has just, like,
leveled up so high on whiteness
237
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,900
that even white people know
that white people
238
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,900
that even white people know
that white people
239
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,102
-don't talk like that.
-(laughs)
240
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,104
All right,
let's move on to our next story,
241
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,104
All right,
let's move on to our next story,
242
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,572
which is about organs.
243
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,840
You know, the fun gift you get
244
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,375
after a stranger dies
in a car crash.
245
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,375
after a stranger dies
in a car crash.
246
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,977
-Ow! -And for people
who need an organ transplant,
247
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,379
there aren't a lot of options.
Right?
248
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,714
Artificial organs
don't work well,
249
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,717
and it is really hard
to find a human organ donor.
250
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,717
and it is really hard
to find a human organ donor.
251
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,419
People are really attached
to those things.
252
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,419
People are really attached
to those things.
253
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,588
But there might be
a third option soon,
254
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,324
because, yesterday,
right here in New York City,
255
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,324
because, yesterday,
right here in New York City,
256
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:00,527
doctors successfully
transplanted a kidney
257
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:00,527
doctors successfully
transplanted a kidney
258
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:03,630
from a pig into a human.
259
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,165
Yeah, a pig.
260
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,165
Yeah, a pig.
261
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,366
Which is an amazing story.
262
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,835
I mean, not for the pig.
But for the human,
263
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,736
it's an amazing story.
264
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,736
it's an amazing story.
265
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,238
And according to some experts,
266
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,808
this could be the beginning
of a whole new era.
267
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,808
this could be the beginning
of a whole new era.
268
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,678
NEWSMAN: This marks the first
time a patient's immune system
269
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,678
NEWSMAN: This marks the first
time a patient's immune system
270
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,147
did not immediately reject
the organ.
271
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,147
did not immediately reject
the organ.
272
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,250
If successful here,
the option of using pig organs
273
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,486
could mitigate a shortage
of transplant organs.
274
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,486
could mitigate a shortage
of transplant organs.
275
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,823
What we need is a sustainable,
276
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,823
What we need is a sustainable,
277
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,659
renewable source of organs.
278
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,659
renewable source of organs.
279
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,461
And that's
what xenotransplantation
280
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,729
would provide.
281
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,698
I mean, tell me
that's not incredible.
282
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,698
I mean, tell me
that's not incredible.
283
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,734
A future where you
can easily replace your organs
284
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,734
A future where you
can easily replace your organs
285
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,836
with pig organs.
286
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,706
But for real though,
if you get a pig organ,
287
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,706
But for real though,
if you get a pig organ,
288
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,175
I mean, you have to become
a vegan then, yes?
289
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,175
I mean, you have to become
a vegan then, yes?
290
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,543
Can we agree on that?
291
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,079
Because imagine if someone
gave you his kidney
292
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,079
Because imagine if someone
gave you his kidney
293
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,847
and then you ate
his whole family.
294
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,349
That shit's disrespectful.
295
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,417
And there are three problems
I can see with this whole thing.
296
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,417
And there are three problems
I can see with this whole thing.
297
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,920
The first is
having pig organ sounds great
298
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,421
until your dog
starts sniffing you all the time
299
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,723
and licking its lips.
300
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,392
And, second, knowing
how bad American health care is,
301
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,392
And, second, knowing
how bad American health care is,
302
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,027
most people
won't even get the pig kidney.
303
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,762
They're just gonna have
to settle for something less.
304
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,762
They're just gonna have
to settle for something less.
305
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,364
"Okay, unfortunately,
your health insurance
306
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,099
"won't cover pig organ.
307
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,099
"won't cover pig organ.
308
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,534
"But you're in luck.
309
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,469
We're having a sale
on raccoons."
310
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,737
And here's the third problem
311
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,737
And here's the third problem
312
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,739
that I don't think
people have thought about.
313
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,908
When you get an organ
transplant, there is a chance--
314
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,908
When you get an organ
transplant, there is a chance--
315
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,043
a small chance
but a chance nonetheless--
316
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:27,381
that you feel or adopt
a part of the donor.
317
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:27,381
that you feel or adopt
a part of the donor.
318
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,715
You hear people saying this
all the time.
319
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,715
You hear people saying this
all the time.
320
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,851
"Oh, I have their memories,
I have their emotions.
321
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,719
I feel what they felt."
322
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,719
I feel what they felt."
323
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,821
What happens if you get
an organ from a pig?
324
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,824
Yeah? Like, what if Trevor
gets a pig kidney
325
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,824
Yeah? Like, what if Trevor
gets a pig kidney
326
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,093
and, all of a sudden, I'm, like,
walking around in the streets
327
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,093
and, all of a sudden, I'm, like,
walking around in the streets
328
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,428
and then, all of a sudden,
I'm just like,
329
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,063
"Truffles? Truffles?"
330
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,498
(squealing)
331
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,498
(squealing)
332
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,832
"Truffles! Truffles!"
333
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,835
(squealing)
334
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,570
What rich neighborhood
do you live in
335
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,570
What rich neighborhood
do you live in
336
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,605
where you can walk down
the street smelling truffles?
337
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,773
I don't know
why we're so impressed.
338
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,773
I don't know
why we're so impressed.
339
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,975
Didn't we do a baboon heart
in the '80s?
340
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,144
-We did a baboon heart
in the '80s? -Yeah!
341
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,144
-We did a baboon heart
in the '80s? -Yeah!
342
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,412
Somebody got a baboon heart.
343
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,880
I didn't have the Internet
back then. I don't know.
344
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,216
Nobody had the Internet back
then, Negro. It was the '80s.
345
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,884
You had seven channels.
346
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,020
So, I know there's a lot of
things that you can transplant.
347
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,122
Like, you can transplant
all the organs.
348
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,122
Like, you can transplant
all the organs.
349
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:13,026
The only thing that
I'm thinking about... (laughs)
350
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:13,026
The only thing that
I'm thinking about... (laughs)
351
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:16,029
If someone has to have...
352
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:16,029
If someone has to have...
353
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,466
like, an intestines transplant
from a pig,
354
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,068
then they're just gonna be full
of chitlins.
355
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,068
then they're just gonna be full
of chitlins.
356
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,637
-And that's all I can think
about. -(laughing)
357
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,940
And then if you have
to get a skin graft,
358
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,842
then you're just covered
in bacon.
359
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,842
then you're just covered
in bacon.
360
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,712
(laughing)
361
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,280
I'm not helping.
362
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,280
I'm not helping.
363
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,816
(laughing)
364
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,485
-All right, but let's move on
from pigs... -(giggling)
365
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,485
-All right, but let's move on
from pigs... -(giggling)
366
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,354
...to pugs.
367
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,354
...to pugs.
368
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:43,190
And especially a pug
named Noodle,
369
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,392
who is now blowing up worldwide
on TikTok
370
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,392
who is now blowing up worldwide
on TikTok
371
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,327
for an amazing account--
this is adorable--
372
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,862
that is like a daily horoscope
373
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,862
that is like a daily horoscope
374
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,265
where he predicts whether
it's gonna be a good day
375
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,366
or a bad day.
376
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,366
or a bad day.
377
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,901
And the way
he makes his prediction
378
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,237
is-is way more fun
than that bullshit groundhog.
379
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,237
is-is way more fun
than that bullshit groundhog.
380
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,772
MAN: Good morning, everyone,
and welcome back
381
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,374
to yet another round
of "No Bones,"
382
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,374
to yet another round
of "No Bones,"
383
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,708
the game where we find out
384
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,577
if my 13-year-old pug woke up
with bones,
385
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,213
and, as a result, what kind
of day we're gonna have.
386
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,213
and, as a result, what kind
of day we're gonna have.
387
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,449
Oh, my gosh! Oh,
it's a bones day! Look at that!
388
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,449
Oh, my gosh! Oh,
it's a bones day! Look at that!
389
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,352
Steady as the beating drum!
390
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,352
Steady as the beating drum!
391
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,521
Okay, you know what that
means. Treat yourself today.
392
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,524
Another round of "No Bones."
393
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,524
Another round of "No Bones."
394
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,226
All right, so we found out
395
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,428
he does not have bones
this morning.
396
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,428
he does not have bones
this morning.
397
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,363
We confirm,
he does not have bones.
398
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,899
Um, I did try a second time
to see if maybe
399
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,899
Um, I did try a second time
to see if maybe
400
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,668
that was a fluke,
but I can confirm
401
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,571
that it was not.
His bones are gone.
402
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,571
that it was not.
His bones are gone.
403
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,173
Okay, guys, this is... this
is... this is more adorable
404
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,173
Okay, guys, this is... this
is... this is more adorable
405
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:36,210
than that time Joe and Jill
Biden visited Munchkin Land.
406
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:36,210
than that time Joe and Jill
Biden visited Munchkin Land.
407
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:39,279
But-but, I mean, it's obvious
what's really happening, right?
408
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,514
I mean, it's cute,
but it's not...
409
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,514
I mean, it's cute,
but it's not...
410
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,049
it's not about the future.
411
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,052
This is dog is waking up with
a chronic morning erection,
412
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,052
This is dog is waking up with
a chronic morning erection,
413
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,720
so when he flops down,
he's trying to hide it.
414
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,056
That's the real bones
or no bones.
415
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,056
That's the real bones
or no bones.
416
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,459
But still, I like how this
has become the new astrology.
417
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,459
But still, I like how this
has become the new astrology.
418
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:53,794
It actually makes more sense,
you know?
419
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,829
I don't know what Mercury
in retrograde means,
420
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,966
but I can understand that
a "no bones" day is not the day
421
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,966
but I can understand that
a "no bones" day is not the day
422
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,834
to sign a new lease.
That's simple.
423
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,834
to sign a new lease.
That's simple.
424
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,336
I do wonder what
this dog tells the other dogs
425
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,471
at parties, though. You know,
when dogs are hanging out,
426
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,471
at parties, though. You know,
when dogs are hanging out,
427
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,039
and they're telling each other
what they do.
428
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,809
And it's just like, "I sniff
out drugs at the airport.
429
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,809
And it's just like, "I sniff
out drugs at the airport.
430
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,377
"That's what I do--
I sniff, sniff.
431
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,778
I sniff out drugs
at the airport."
432
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,982
"I help blind people
get around in the city.
433
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,982
"I help blind people
get around in the city.
434
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,383
That's my job."
435
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,383
That's my job."
436
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,051
"Yeah, I fall on my ass,
437
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,554
"and then millennials
build a life around it.
438
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,554
"and then millennials
build a life around it.
439
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,256
I don't get it, either."
440
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,225
Y'all do too much
with these dogs, okay?
441
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,225
Y'all do too much
with these dogs, okay?
442
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,060
Let the damn dog be a damn dog.
443
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,462
That dog is 13 years old.
444
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,462
That dog is 13 years old.
445
00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:29,897
That dog don't want
to play this damn game with you.
446
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,164
Any time this dog is "no bones,"
447
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:32,933
it's "I don't want
to be here anymore."
448
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:32,933
it's "I don't want
to be here anymore."
449
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,669
And yet again, you become
an Internet sensation
450
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,404
'cause you need a job.
451
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,404
'cause you need a job.
452
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,306
Leave these damn dogs alone.
It ain't that important.
453
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,675
All we need is a goofy
groundhog coming out here
454
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,675
All we need is a goofy
groundhog coming out here
455
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,277
and being like,
"Six more weeks of winter,"
456
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,445
and then we be on
about our lives.
457
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,445
and then we be on
about our lives.
458
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,982
All right, that's all the time
we have for the headlines.
459
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,982
All right, that's all the time
we have for the headlines.
460
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,918
Let's jump straight
into our main story.
461
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,319
It's about vaccines.
462
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,319
It's about vaccines.
463
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,054
They're the thing keeping
millions of Americans
464
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,089
from the Grandpa's
inheritance money.
465
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,089
from the Grandpa's
inheritance money.
466
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,392
And now, the fight over
who is required
467
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,329
to get the vaccine is crashing
up against the thin blue line,
468
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,329
to get the vaccine is crashing
up against the thin blue line,
469
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,364
as we will see
in another installment of
470
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,364
as we will see
in another installment of
471
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,166
"Vaccination Nation."
472
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,203
♪ ♪
473
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,203
♪ ♪
474
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,641
Vaccine mandates--
for the past few months,
475
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,810
it's become the biggest fight
in the country.
476
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,810
it's become the biggest fight
in the country.
477
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,580
I mean, aside from the Netflix
CEO and everyone on Twitter.
478
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,216
And mandates have been effective
at convincing people
479
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,216
And mandates have been effective
at convincing people
480
00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:24,785
to get the COVID vaccine,
which is why everyone
481
00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:24,785
to get the COVID vaccine,
which is why everyone
482
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,753
from the federal government
to airlines
483
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,489
to even Fox News is doing one.
484
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,489
to even Fox News is doing one.
485
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:31,258
Yeah, that's a real thing.
486
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,161
Fox News has a vaccine mandate.
487
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,161
Fox News has a vaccine mandate.
488
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,696
Which is insane.
489
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,498
I mean, it's like seeing one
of those Amish farm stands
490
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,498
I mean, it's like seeing one
of those Amish farm stands
491
00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:40,167
that accepts Apple Pay.
492
00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:40,167
that accepts Apple Pay.
493
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:42,803
Like, I'm happy,
but I did not see that coming.
494
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,005
And now the former epicenter
of the pandemic,
495
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,005
And now the former epicenter
of the pandemic,
496
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,573
New York City, is saying
497
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,443
that all of its government
workers need to get vaxxed,
498
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,443
that all of its government
workers need to get vaxxed,
499
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,745
and they mean everybody.
500
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,681
New this morning.
New York City is now requiring
501
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,681
New this morning.
New York City is now requiring
502
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,418
all city employees to be
vaccinated against COVID-19,
503
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,418
all city employees to be
vaccinated against COVID-19,
504
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:01,388
no longer with any option
for weekly testing instead.
505
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:01,388
no longer with any option
for weekly testing instead.
506
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,558
The new mandate covers more
than 160,000 workers,
507
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,558
The new mandate covers more
than 160,000 workers,
508
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,894
including police officers
and firefighters.
509
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,463
We're asking our public servants
and our first responders
510
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,463
We're asking our public servants
and our first responders
511
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,065
to do what they do best--
lead us forward.
512
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,065
to do what they do best--
lead us forward.
513
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,267
Help us out of the COVID era.
514
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:16,069
If they choose not to,
they go on unpaid leave.
515
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:16,069
If they choose not to,
they go on unpaid leave.
516
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,538
NEWSMAN 2:
So, we're less than two weeks
517
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:18,906
to that November 1 date.
518
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,307
Right now, the NYPD says
519
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,307
Right now, the NYPD says
520
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,476
its vaccination rate
is approximately 71%.
521
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,912
Fire department says around 60%
522
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,912
Fire department says around 60%
523
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,481
of their uniformed workforce
have so far gotten the shot.
524
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,815
That's a long way to go.
525
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,815
That's a long way to go.
526
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,518
That's right. Anyone who works
for New York City
527
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,120
will have to be vaccinated soon.
528
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,120
will have to be vaccinated soon.
529
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,355
Everyone from police
and firefighters,
530
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,990
all the way
to the guy who makes sure
531
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,990
all the way
to the guy who makes sure
532
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,859
that the taxis are clean.
533
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:43,263
And as of now, nearly a third
of all cops aren't vaccinated.
534
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:43,263
And as of now, nearly a third
of all cops aren't vaccinated.
535
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:47,467
And maybe, maybe they just don't
know how to get vaccinated.
536
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:47,467
And maybe, maybe they just don't
know how to get vaccinated.
537
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:50,437
I mean, I know it seems easy,
but some cops don't even know
538
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:50,437
I mean, I know it seems easy,
but some cops don't even know
539
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,573
how to turn on a body camera,
so...
540
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,573
how to turn on a body camera,
so...
541
00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:54,274
But this is still
a little concerning,
542
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,711
because any police who don't get
vaccinated can't go to work.
543
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,711
because any police who don't get
vaccinated can't go to work.
544
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,813
And if there's a shortage
of police, I mean,
545
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,148
that could cause
some big problems.
546
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,148
that could cause
some big problems.
547
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,051
I mean, protestors can't
kick the shit out of themselves.
548
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,051
I mean, protestors can't
kick the shit out of themselves.
549
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,321
Plus, who are the Karens going
to call when they feel scared?
550
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,856
Hello, Geek Squad.
551
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,856
Hello, Geek Squad.
552
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,725
There's a Black man
in the park, and...
553
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,293
What do you mean
it's not your job?
554
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,293
What do you mean
it's not your job?
555
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,362
I want to speak
to your manager.
556
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,097
You get me the manager!
557
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,097
You get me the manager!
558
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,800
Now, New York's police union
has already announced
559
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,101
that they'll be suing
560
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,101
that they'll be suing
561
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,604
to stop this mandate
from going into effect.
562
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:26,473
Which is no surprise,
because in every city
563
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:26,473
Which is no surprise,
because in every city
564
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,476
that's announced a mandate,
there's been a fierce resistance
565
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,476
that's announced a mandate,
there's been a fierce resistance
566
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,279
from cops and firefighters.
567
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,279
from cops and firefighters.
568
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,981
NEWSMAN: There has been a wave
of resignations
569
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,350
and firings
in fire and police departments
570
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,350
and firings
in fire and police departments
571
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:38,352
across the country.
572
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:40,888
Los Angeles Fire reports
there have been
573
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:40,888
Los Angeles Fire reports
there have been
574
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,558
at least 241 separations
from the department.
575
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,558
at least 241 separations
from the department.
576
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:48,529
Baltimore's police department
is down 279 officers.
577
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:48,529
Baltimore's police department
is down 279 officers.
578
00:13:48,629 --> 00:13:51,798
In Massachusetts,
the state police union president
579
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:56,270
is threatening that at least
150 state police will resign.
580
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:56,270
is threatening that at least
150 state police will resign.
581
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:56,270
is threatening that at least
150 state police will resign.
582
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:59,606
Late yesterday Seattle
police officers and firefighters
583
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:03,277
walked up City Hall steps
to turn in their boots.
584
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:03,277
walked up City Hall steps
to turn in their boots.
585
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:06,046
Yeah, that's right,
they're turning in their boots.
586
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:06,046
Yeah, that's right,
they're turning in their boots.
587
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,248
And I know what you're thinking
right now,
588
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,248
And I know what you're thinking
right now,
589
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,050
because I'm thinking
the same thing.
590
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,953
Wait, don't cops turn in
their gun and badge?
591
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,953
Wait, don't cops turn in
their gun and badge?
592
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,855
'cause turning in your boots
makes it sound
593
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,924
like the police departments have
the same footwear policy
594
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,924
like the police departments have
the same footwear policy
595
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,659
as a bowling alley,
596
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:21,662
MacDuffy! We got a robbery
happening on 13th Street!
597
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:21,662
MacDuffy! We got a robbery
happening on 13th Street!
598
00:14:21,762 --> 00:14:23,397
You're... What are you,
size ten and a half?
599
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:24,798
All right, go get 'em, buddy.
600
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:24,798
All right, go get 'em, buddy.
601
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,633
I've got to say,
out of all of the occupations
602
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,769
cops and firefighters are
the last people
603
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,769
cops and firefighters are
the last people
604
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,871
who I'd expect to see this from.
605
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,073
I mean, like, these are
the same people who sign up
606
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,073
I mean, like, these are
the same people who sign up
607
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:36,677
to swarm hostage situations
or run into burning buildings.
608
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:36,677
to swarm hostage situations
or run into burning buildings.
609
00:14:36,777 --> 00:14:38,512
But when it comes
to the vaccine,
610
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:42,082
suddenly they're like, "I don't
know, seems like a health risk."
611
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:42,082
suddenly they're like, "I don't
know, seems like a health risk."
612
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,518
Like firefighters,
they have always had an image
613
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,518
Like firefighters,
they have always had an image
614
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:47,287
of being brave and selfless,
putting their life on the line
615
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:51,158
to help others-- that's the part
that makes them so damn sexy.
616
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:51,158
to help others-- that's the part
that makes them so damn sexy.
617
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,393
You know, and I just hope
that this vaccine controversy
618
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,393
You know, and I just hope
that this vaccine controversy
619
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,128
doesn't ruin that image.
620
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,763
'Cause trust me,
nobody wants to buy
621
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,763
'Cause trust me,
nobody wants to buy
622
00:14:56,864 --> 00:14:59,867
a whiny firefighter calendar.
623
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,935
You know, actually,
I'd still buy that one.
624
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,071
It's still pretty sexy,
I'm not gonna lie.
625
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,071
It's still pretty sexy,
I'm not gonna lie.
626
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,507
But hey, at least
those officers had the courage
627
00:15:06,607 --> 00:15:08,041
of their convictions, right?
628
00:15:06,607 --> 00:15:08,041
of their convictions, right?
629
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,277
They didn't want to follow
the rules, so they quit the job.
630
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,712
I can respect that.
631
00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:14,214
What is a lot more concerning
is how some other officers
632
00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:14,214
What is a lot more concerning
is how some other officers
633
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,450
have decided that they
would rather keep their jobs
634
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,450
have decided that they
would rather keep their jobs
635
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,520
and not follow the rules.
636
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,255
In Los Angeles,
the county sheriff said
637
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,255
In Los Angeles,
the county sheriff said
638
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,323
he's simply not going to enforce
the vaccine deadline
639
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,526
that was supposed
to take effect today.
640
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,526
that was supposed
to take effect today.
641
00:15:25,626 --> 00:15:27,327
I don't want to be
in a position to lose
642
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,364
five, ten percent
of my workforce overnight.
643
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,364
five, ten percent
of my workforce overnight.
644
00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:32,866
In Chicago
responding to that city's
645
00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:32,866
In Chicago
responding to that city's
646
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,768
October vaccine mandate,
647
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:38,372
the head of the police union
said his members won't comply.
648
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:38,372
the head of the police union
said his members won't comply.
649
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,474
"This has literally lit a bomb
650
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,474
"This has literally lit a bomb
651
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:42,609
underneath the membership,"
he said.
652
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,344
"We're in America, G-damn it.
653
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,344
"We're in America, G-damn it.
654
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,581
"We don't want to be forced
to do anything. Period.
655
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,750
This ain't Nazy F-ing Germany."
656
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,750
This ain't Nazy F-ing Germany."
657
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,853
Whoa, Nazi Germany?
658
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,853
Whoa, Nazi Germany?
659
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:56,757
That dude escalated things
way too quick.
660
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:56,757
That dude escalated things
way too quick.
661
00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:58,592
I mean, although he is
a Chicago police officer,
662
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:02,229
so it makes sense, but come on,
people, G-damn it.
663
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:02,229
so it makes sense, but come on,
people, G-damn it.
664
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,298
And by the way, I didn't realize
that the L.A. sheriff
665
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,298
And by the way, I didn't realize
that the L.A. sheriff
666
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,934
could just decide not to comply
with the vaccine mandate.
667
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,503
That's crazy. Like, is that
something we are allowed to do?
668
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,503
That's crazy. Like, is that
something we are allowed to do?
669
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:11,338
'Cause, I mean,
the next time I'm pulled over,
670
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,173
I'm just gonna say,
"Sorry, Officer.
671
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,173
I'm just gonna say,
"Sorry, Officer.
672
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,576
"I have decided not to comply
with the speed limit.
673
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:17,277
What's that? I'm getting shot?"
674
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:17,277
What's that? I'm getting shot?"
675
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,046
(chuckling)
676
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,315
Here is what I find the most
strange about this story.
677
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,315
Here is what I find the most
strange about this story.
678
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,884
For years police departments
have been telling us
679
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,886
that nothing is more important
than protecting
680
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,255
the lives of cops
on the street, right?
681
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,255
the lives of cops
on the street, right?
682
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,958
It is why cities have been
increasing their budgets
683
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,160
to buy military-grade armor.
684
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,160
to buy military-grade armor.
685
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,562
And it's also why they can't
take 30 seconds to determine
686
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,865
if someone really is a threat
before shooting them.
687
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,865
if someone really is a threat
before shooting them.
688
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:41,268
But it turns out there is
literally nothing more dangerous
689
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:41,268
But it turns out there is
literally nothing more dangerous
690
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,938
to police officers right now
than COVID-19.
691
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,938
to police officers right now
than COVID-19.
692
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,609
COVID right now, as we speak,
is the leading cause of death
693
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,609
COVID right now, as we speak,
is the leading cause of death
694
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:50,310
for law enforcement.
695
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,346
In fact,
since the start of the pandemic,
696
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,346
In fact,
since the start of the pandemic,
697
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:55,716
it has killed more than
five times the number of police
698
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:58,986
that were killed by guns.
699
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:58,986
that were killed by guns.
700
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:02,055
So it turns out that if you do
believe that blue lives matter,
701
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:02,055
So it turns out that if you do
believe that blue lives matter,
702
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,024
one of the best ways
to show your support
703
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,024
one of the best ways
to show your support
704
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,326
is by getting the vaccine.
705
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,662
All right, when we come back,
we'll take a look
706
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,662
All right, when we come back,
we'll take a look
707
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:11,331
at America's former president,
Vladimir Putin.
708
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,800
And Nick Offerman is joining me
on the show.
709
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,800
And Nick Offerman is joining me
on the show.
710
00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:15,335
Don't go away.
711
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,004
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
712
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,206
A couple of weeks ago,
the people of Russia
713
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,974
went to the polls
and, by a large margin,
714
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,974
went to the polls
and, by a large margin,
715
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:25,411
elected legislators loyal
to President Vladimir Putin,
716
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:25,411
elected legislators loyal
to President Vladimir Putin,
717
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,613
further cementing his hold
on the country.
718
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,217
But how did Putin become
the man we all know today?
719
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,217
But how did Putin become
the man we all know today?
720
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,085
Well, let's find out
721
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,085
Well, let's find out
722
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:36,055
in our latest Daily Showography.
723
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:37,523
-♪ ♪
-(applause)
724
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:37,523
-♪ ♪
-(applause)
725
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,658
(man speaking foreign language)
726
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,062
(cheering)
727
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:46,532
LYDIC:
Can a leader be too perfect?
728
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:46,532
LYDIC:
Can a leader be too perfect?
729
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,336
MAN:
He's a superhero.
730
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,336
MAN:
He's a superhero.
731
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,972
He's some kind of Superman
for us.
732
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,972
He's some kind of Superman
for us.
733
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,008
LYDIC:
Can his flawless intellect
734
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,545
and unmatched strength make him
somehow more than a man?
735
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,545
and unmatched strength make him
somehow more than a man?
736
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,814
(chanting):
Russia!
737
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,814
(chanting):
Russia!
738
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,449
Russia!
739
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,419
LYDIC: At what point
does a mortal ruler
740
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,419
LYDIC: At what point
does a mortal ruler
741
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,655
become a living god?
742
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,655
become a living god?
743
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,892
(translated): Will I be sitting
here till I'm 100 years old?
744
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,892
(translated): Will I be sitting
here till I'm 100 years old?
745
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,627
♪ ♪
746
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,363
LYDIC:
This is The Daily Showography
747
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,363
LYDIC:
This is The Daily Showography
748
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,265
of Vladimir Putin,
749
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:22,835
democracy super czar.
750
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:22,835
democracy super czar.
751
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,038
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
752
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,038
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
753
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:30,209
grew up with everything
a Soviet child could ever want.
754
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:30,209
grew up with everything
a Soviet child could ever want.
755
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:31,410
Communal housing
756
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,813
and that's it.
757
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,813
and that's it.
758
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,614
We lived in a small room,
all three of us,
759
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,317
in a communal apartment
in Leningrad
760
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,317
in a communal apartment
in Leningrad
761
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,586
with no private facilities.
762
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,656
We didn't even have
our own bath or shower.
763
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,656
We didn't even have
our own bath or shower.
764
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,058
LYDIC: It was all the fun
of a college dorm
765
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,058
LYDIC: It was all the fun
of a college dorm
766
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,060
but with way more drinking.
767
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,731
From birth,
greatness was in his blood.
768
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,599
His father was a party member,
769
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,599
His father was a party member,
770
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,968
and his grandfather was a cook
for Joseph Stalin,
771
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,336
giving Vladimir access
772
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,336
giving Vladimir access
773
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,972
to all the flavors
of Soviet Russia,
774
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,843
from bland to cold to gray.
775
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,843
from bland to cold to gray.
776
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,012
It was a movie that set Putin
on his life's path.
777
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,012
It was a movie that set Putin
on his life's path.
778
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,181
The Shield and the Sword,
779
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,181
The Shield and the Sword,
780
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:12,985
about a dashing Soviet spy,
inspired him to join the KGB.
781
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:12,985
about a dashing Soviet spy,
inspired him to join the KGB.
782
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,988
He'd be the Russian James Bond,
783
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,758
meaning the guy
trying to kill James Bond.
784
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,758
meaning the guy
trying to kill James Bond.
785
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:22,995
By 1985, Putin was
a lieutenant colonel in the KGB
786
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:22,995
By 1985, Putin was
a lieutenant colonel in the KGB
787
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,464
stationed
in glamorous East Germany.
788
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,464
stationed
in glamorous East Germany.
789
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,634
But in 1989, tragedy struck.
790
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,403
(chanting in foreign language)
791
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,403
(chanting in foreign language)
792
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,005
A crowd of Germans driven mad
793
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,005
A crowd of Germans driven mad
794
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,807
by the decadent
Western influences
795
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,842
of Coca-Cola and blue jeans
796
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,045
descended upon the Berlin Wall.
797
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,346
They smashed it to bits,
798
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,114
and then,
looking for more souvenirs
799
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,114
and then,
looking for more souvenirs
800
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:44,450
they could later sell
to history nerds,
801
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,819
they gathered
around Putin's station.
802
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,819
they gathered
around Putin's station.
803
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,954
(shouting in foreign language)
804
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,954
(shouting in foreign language)
805
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,092
The Berlin Wall
might have fallen,
806
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,092
The Berlin Wall
might have fallen,
807
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,829
but a great man
does not crumble so easily.
808
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,531
Putin ran to the basement
809
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:02,635
and set all the KGB's
documents on fire.
810
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:02,635
and set all the KGB's
documents on fire.
811
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,471
Then he went outside and told
the crowd they would be shot
812
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,471
Then he went outside and told
the crowd they would be shot
813
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:07,006
if they didn't leave.
814
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:10,342
What an honor
for those Germans to be there
815
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:10,342
What an honor
for those Germans to be there
816
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,745
for the future leader's
first death threat.
817
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,213
♪ ♪
818
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,213
♪ ♪
819
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,782
Through his heroic actions
that day,
820
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,384
Putin survived.
821
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,721
But, sadly,
the Soviet Union did not.
822
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,721
But, sadly,
the Soviet Union did not.
823
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,923
(translated): When I say
that the fall of the USSR
824
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,558
was one
of the greatest catastrophes
825
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,558
was one
of the greatest catastrophes
826
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,226
of the 20th century,
827
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,563
I'm talking about a humanitarian
catastrophe above all.
828
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,563
I'm talking about a humanitarian
catastrophe above all.
829
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,698
After the dissolution
of the USSR,
830
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,234
25 million Russians
suddenly found themselves
831
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,234
25 million Russians
suddenly found themselves
832
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,602
in a foreign country.
833
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,738
LYDIC: That's right.
Millions of Russians
834
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,738
LYDIC: That's right.
Millions of Russians
835
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,407
had to order
whole new address labels.
836
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,407
had to order
whole new address labels.
837
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:44,810
Was the downfall of communism
really worth that?
838
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:48,481
But Russia and Putin persevered.
839
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,815
Under the steady leadership
840
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,815
Under the steady leadership
841
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,618
of the incredibly competent
Boris Yeltsin,
842
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,620
Putin rose
through the political ranks,
843
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,620
Putin rose
through the political ranks,
844
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,957
eventually becoming
prime minister.
845
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,957
eventually becoming
prime minister.
846
00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:00,025
The Russian public
wanted to know,
847
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:03,629
who was this young
and objectively perfect man?
848
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:03,629
who was this young
and objectively perfect man?
849
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:04,964
To answer that,
850
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:04,964
To answer that,
851
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:08,033
Putin commissioned a documentary
about his life.
852
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:11,137
Just like Beyoncé.
853
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:11,137
Just like Beyoncé.
854
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,573
And Putin's film
was even cooler.
855
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,573
And Putin's film
was even cooler.
856
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,643
NEWSMAN: He commissioned
this rarely seen documentary
857
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,643
NEWSMAN: He commissioned
this rarely seen documentary
858
00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:19,545
about himself.
859
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,480
"Presenting Vladimir Putin,"
860
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,480
"Presenting Vladimir Putin,"
861
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:24,316
the credits read, "in Power."
862
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,685
♪ ♪
863
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,685
♪ ♪
864
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,222
Weirdly, the soundtrack is
from the Broadway show Cats.
865
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,222
Weirdly, the soundtrack is
from the Broadway show Cats.
866
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:33,359
("Memory" playing)
867
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:33,359
("Memory" playing)
868
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:36,462
LYDIC: It was, without question,
the second most disturbing movie
869
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:39,465
-ever to feature songs
from Cats. -(hissing)
870
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:39,465
-ever to feature songs
from Cats. -(hissing)
871
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:43,803
In 1999, Boris Yeltsin abruptly
resigned from the presidency
872
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:43,803
In 1999, Boris Yeltsin abruptly
resigned from the presidency
873
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:46,072
to spend more time
with his drinking problem.
874
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:46,072
to spend more time
with his drinking problem.
875
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:48,207
-♪ ♪
-(applause)
876
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,279
And Putin became
the second elected
877
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,279
And Putin became
the second elected
878
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:56,515
and first permanent president
of Russia.
879
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,285
He proved himself not just
a formidable head of state
880
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,285
He proved himself not just
a formidable head of state
881
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:02,288
but a man of many talents.
882
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:02,288
but a man of many talents.
883
00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:03,989
♪ ♪
884
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:05,858
-(horse neighs)
-A beast master.
885
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:05,858
-(horse neighs)
-A beast master.
886
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,259
-(growl) -(squeak)
-(clicking)
887
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,794
-(roar)
-(bellow)
888
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:10,129
An adventurer.
889
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:12,364
(engines revving)
890
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,365
(bubbling)
891
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,365
(bubbling)
892
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,867
A sportsman.
893
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,936
(gasping, applause)
894
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,936
(gasping, applause)
895
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,071
And a born entertainer.
896
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:23,008
♪ The moon stood still ♪
897
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:23,008
♪ The moon stood still ♪
898
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:27,179
♪ On Blueberry Hill ♪
899
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:27,179
♪ On Blueberry Hill ♪
900
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:30,349
Vladimir Putin is truly
a quadruple threat.
901
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:30,349
Vladimir Putin is truly
a quadruple threat.
902
00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:32,418
-(gun cocks)
-Quintuple if one of the threats
903
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,553
is making actual threats.
904
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,553
is making actual threats.
905
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:36,622
But, most of all,
President Putin
906
00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:39,425
is the protector
of Russia's fragile democracy.
907
00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:39,425
is the protector
of Russia's fragile democracy.
908
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,627
-(woman singing in Russian)
-(shouting)
909
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,627
-(woman singing in Russian)
-(shouting)
910
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,933
A role he takes so seriously
911
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,302
that, every election,
he does whatever is necessary
912
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,302
that, every election,
he does whatever is necessary
913
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:53,005
to stop inferior candidates
from winning.
914
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:53,005
to stop inferior candidates
from winning.
915
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,941
For this devotion,
his citizens have rewarded him
916
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:58,778
with the presidency
again and again,
917
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:58,778
with the presidency
again and again,
918
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,747
by literally
unbelievable margins.
919
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,747
by literally
unbelievable margins.
920
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:05,217
Vladimir Putin will lead Russia
for another six years.
921
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:05,217
Vladimir Putin will lead Russia
for another six years.
922
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:07,319
He cruised
to an expected victory
923
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,288
in yesterday's
presidential election,
924
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,288
in yesterday's
presidential election,
925
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:12,124
winning nearly 77 percent
of the vote.
926
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,492
NEWSMAN:
Check this.
927
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,492
NEWSMAN:
Check this.
928
00:23:13,592 --> 00:23:15,561
Brazen ballot-stuffing
caught on camera.
929
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,696
NEWSMAN 2: In these videos,
verified by the AP,
930
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,696
NEWSMAN 2: In these videos,
verified by the AP,
931
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:20,299
voters seem
to insert multiple ballots.
932
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,803
One election official appears
to stroll over to a box,
933
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,803
One election official appears
to stroll over to a box,
934
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:28,340
stuff it, while no one
in the room seems to mind.
935
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:28,340
stuff it, while no one
in the room seems to mind.
936
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,576
LYDIC: Yes,
Putin respects people's right
937
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,576
LYDIC: Yes,
Putin respects people's right
938
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:33,079
to vote so much
that he lets them vote
939
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:33,079
to vote so much
that he lets them vote
940
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:36,382
two, three or 78 times
in the same election.
941
00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:39,719
It wasn't all
smooth sailing, though.
942
00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:39,719
It wasn't all
smooth sailing, though.
943
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:41,687
One time,
Putin briefly had to let
944
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:41,687
One time,
Putin briefly had to let
945
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:44,457
a friend be president for him
until he could run again.
946
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,258
And then, he had
to make a tiny change
947
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,258
And then, he had
to make a tiny change
948
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:49,595
to the constitution
so he could run again, again.
949
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:49,595
to the constitution
so he could run again, again.
950
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:51,097
And again.
951
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:55,367
As Russia has thrived,
so has the man who embodies it.
952
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:55,367
As Russia has thrived,
so has the man who embodies it.
953
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:57,837
For his steadfast commitment
to fighting corruption,
954
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:57,837
For his steadfast commitment
to fighting corruption,
955
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:01,941
Russian oligarchs and energy
executives have gifted Putin
956
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:01,941
Russian oligarchs and energy
executives have gifted Putin
957
00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:03,376
with tens of billions
of dollars.
958
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:05,511
LUKE HARDING:
My personal suspicion is
959
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:05,511
LUKE HARDING:
My personal suspicion is
960
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,381
that certainly Mr. Putin is
the richest man in Europe,
961
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:09,849
and possibly on the planet.
962
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:09,849
and possibly on the planet.
963
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,450
♪ Money, money... ♪
964
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:13,786
LYDIC: And that money
would come in handy
965
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:13,786
LYDIC: And that money
would come in handy
966
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,789
when unexpected expenses
cropped up, like
967
00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,791
secretly buying
a luxury apartment in Monaco
968
00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,893
for a totally random woman.
969
00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,893
for a totally random woman.
970
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,129
And, yes,
one media outlet claimed
971
00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:24,997
that the woman was
Putin's mistress,
972
00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:24,997
that the woman was
Putin's mistress,
973
00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:26,732
but that's ridiculous.
974
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,602
Putin was happily married
at the time.
975
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,602
Putin was happily married
at the time.
976
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:32,471
And also, that media outlet
has since been outlawed.
977
00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,306
Besides, these rumors are
completely unfair
978
00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,306
Besides, these rumors are
completely unfair
979
00:24:34,407 --> 00:24:36,308
to the woman's daughter,
980
00:24:36,409 --> 00:24:38,411
whose unknown father must be
very proud of her,
981
00:24:36,409 --> 00:24:38,411
whose unknown father must be
very proud of her,
982
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:40,679
and her face
that looks absolutely nothing
983
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,681
like Vladimir Putin.
984
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,681
like Vladimir Putin.
985
00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:44,050
(chanting in Russian)
986
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,485
LYDIC: Of course,
even a perfect country has
987
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,485
LYDIC: Of course,
even a perfect country has
988
00:24:46,585 --> 00:24:49,121
some malcontents,
but whenever those seeking
989
00:24:46,585 --> 00:24:49,121
some malcontents,
but whenever those seeking
990
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:52,558
to undermine Putin's streak
of uncorrupt democracy
991
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:56,062
begin to circle him
like bloodthirsty sharks,
992
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:56,062
begin to circle him
like bloodthirsty sharks,
993
00:24:56,162 --> 00:25:01,667
somehow, some way, fate always
intervenes on his behalf.
994
00:24:56,162 --> 00:25:01,667
somehow, some way, fate always
intervenes on his behalf.
995
00:24:56,162 --> 00:25:01,667
somehow, some way, fate always
intervenes on his behalf.
996
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:03,536
There seems, for some reason,
997
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,938
to be an extremely high
mortality rate
998
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,938
to be an extremely high
mortality rate
999
00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:07,473
among independent journalists
1000
00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:09,975
and political opponents
of Mr. Putin.
1001
00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:09,975
and political opponents
of Mr. Putin.
1002
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:11,310
NEWSMAN 2: President Putin
dismissed accusations
1003
00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:13,779
that the Russian state was
1004
00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:13,779
that the Russian state was
1005
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:15,948
behind the attack
on Mr. Navalny.
1006
00:25:15,981 --> 00:25:18,684
"If our agents had wanted
to kill him," he said,
1007
00:25:15,981 --> 00:25:18,684
"If our agents had wanted
to kill him," he said,
1008
00:25:18,784 --> 00:25:20,352
"they'd have finished the job."
1009
00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:35,901
LYDIC: Yeah, why doesn't anyone
ever ask Putin
1010
00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:37,503
about his agriculture programs?
1011
00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:37,503
about his agriculture programs?
1012
00:25:37,603 --> 00:25:39,805
Like these new bananas
he is working on
1013
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,309
that grow with the poison
already inside them.
1014
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,309
that grow with the poison
already inside them.
1015
00:25:43,409 --> 00:25:45,945
Sure, it is true that some
of Putin's critics
1016
00:25:43,409 --> 00:25:45,945
Sure, it is true that some
of Putin's critics
1017
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:50,416
met untimely ends, but on
the other hand, let's move on.
1018
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:50,416
met untimely ends, but on
the other hand, let's move on.
1019
00:25:50,516 --> 00:25:53,819
We should be talking
about agriculture.
1020
00:25:50,516 --> 00:25:53,819
We should be talking
about agriculture.
1021
00:25:53,919 --> 00:25:58,124
Naturally, a true champion of
democracy doesn't just want it
1022
00:25:53,919 --> 00:25:58,124
Naturally, a true champion of
democracy doesn't just want it
1023
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,926
for his own country,
he wants it for all people.
1024
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,926
for his own country,
he wants it for all people.
1025
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:03,262
Which is why Putin
began tirelessly assisting
1026
00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:05,498
with elections around the world,
1027
00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:05,498
with elections around the world,
1028
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:08,067
sending his digital
democracy helpers
1029
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,836
to gently nudge voters
in the right direction.
1030
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,836
to gently nudge voters
in the right direction.
1031
00:26:10,936 --> 00:26:13,506
Putin was so amazing
at democracy
1032
00:26:10,936 --> 00:26:13,506
Putin was so amazing
at democracy
1033
00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:17,610
that in 2016 even the world's
so-called "greatest democracy"
1034
00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:17,610
that in 2016 even the world's
so-called "greatest democracy"
1035
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,612
was asking for his help.
1036
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:22,648
Russia, if you're listening...
1037
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:22,648
Russia, if you're listening...
1038
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:27,720
LYDIC: And like the great man
he is, Putin answered the call.
1039
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:27,720
LYDIC: And like the great man
he is, Putin answered the call.
1040
00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:29,355
NEWSMAN: Tonight
Russian president Vladimir Putin
1041
00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:29,355
NEWSMAN: Tonight
Russian president Vladimir Putin
1042
00:26:29,455 --> 00:26:31,657
trolling the United States,
1043
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,993
joking about meddling
in the presidential election
1044
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,993
joking about meddling
in the presidential election
1045
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:36,562
and saying he will do it again.
1046
00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:40,499
TRANSLATOR:
I will tell you a secret.
1047
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,735
Yes, of course we'll do it.
1048
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,735
Yes, of course we'll do it.
1049
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:44,770
To finally make you happier.
1050
00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:46,572
-(applause)
-Just don't tell anyone.
1051
00:26:46,672 --> 00:26:48,174
-♪ ♪
-LYDIC: You know what they say:
1052
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:51,010
it takes a big man
to joke about himself
1053
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:51,010
it takes a big man
to joke about himself
1054
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,180
and an even bigger, scarier man
1055
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,180
and an even bigger, scarier man
1056
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,482
to joke about destroying
your country.
1057
00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:58,751
(Rachmaninoff piano concerto
playing)
1058
00:26:56,582 --> 00:26:58,751
(Rachmaninoff piano concerto
playing)
1059
00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:00,720
-Da!
-(cheering)
1060
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,255
LYDIC:
That is why in all the world,
1061
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,255
LYDIC:
That is why in all the world,
1062
00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:06,258
there is no bigger man
than Vladimir Putin.
1063
00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:06,258
there is no bigger man
than Vladimir Putin.
1064
00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:08,461
(crowd chanting "Putin!")
1065
00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:11,597
How grateful we are
for his 21-year reign,
1066
00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:11,597
How grateful we are
for his 21-year reign,
1067
00:27:11,697 --> 00:27:14,233
his guaranteed
16-year future reign
1068
00:27:11,697 --> 00:27:14,233
his guaranteed
16-year future reign
1069
00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:18,704
and, if we should be
so fortunate...
1070
00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:18,704
and, if we should be
so fortunate...
1071
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:22,375
his 100-year reign after that.
1072
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:22,375
his 100-year reign after that.
1073
00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:25,511
All right, when we come back,
1074
00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:25,511
All right, when we come back,
1075
00:27:25,611 --> 00:27:28,981
Nick Offerman will try
to convince me to go camping.
1076
00:27:25,611 --> 00:27:28,981
Nick Offerman will try
to convince me to go camping.
1077
00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:30,916
Good luck with that.
1078
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,567
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
1079
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:35,236
My guest tonight
is actor, humorist
1080
00:27:35,336 --> 00:27:37,371
and best-selling author
Nick Offerman.
1081
00:27:35,336 --> 00:27:37,371
and best-selling author
Nick Offerman.
1082
00:27:37,471 --> 00:27:39,406
He's here to talk
about his brand-new book
1083
00:27:39,507 --> 00:27:43,377
that celebrates the beauty
of America's great outdoors.
1084
00:27:39,507 --> 00:27:43,377
that celebrates the beauty
of America's great outdoors.
1085
00:27:43,477 --> 00:27:44,845
Nick, welcome to the show.
1086
00:27:43,477 --> 00:27:44,845
Nick, welcome to the show.
1087
00:27:44,945 --> 00:27:46,514
Thank you, sir.
It's so great to see you.
1088
00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:48,549
I feel like this is, like,
the perfect space
1089
00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:48,549
I feel like this is, like,
the perfect space
1090
00:27:48,649 --> 00:27:50,417
-for you and your voice.
That's what I feel. -(laughs)
1091
00:27:50,518 --> 00:27:51,886
Normally,
when I see you, there's...
1092
00:27:50,518 --> 00:27:51,886
Normally,
when I see you, there's...
1093
00:27:51,986 --> 00:27:53,053
there are either
too many people,
1094
00:27:53,154 --> 00:27:54,788
you know,
and then your voice doesn't seem
1095
00:27:54,889 --> 00:27:55,956
like it's matching the energy.
1096
00:27:54,889 --> 00:27:55,956
like it's matching the energy.
1097
00:27:56,056 --> 00:27:57,158
-It's true.
-This-this feels right.
1098
00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:58,626
This feels
like the kind of space
1099
00:27:58,726 --> 00:28:00,561
where Nick would say something
and people would go like,
1100
00:27:58,726 --> 00:28:00,561
where Nick would say something
and people would go like,
1101
00:28:00,661 --> 00:28:02,229
"That was the space
it was meant to be said in."
1102
00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:03,797
I take that as a compliment.
1103
00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:03,797
I take that as a compliment.
1104
00:28:03,898 --> 00:28:07,101
What you just said reminds me
of my dad, who's really funny.
1105
00:28:07,201 --> 00:28:08,469
But when you're...
1106
00:28:07,201 --> 00:28:08,469
But when you're...
1107
00:28:08,569 --> 00:28:10,671
whenever you are in a crowd,
he always...
1108
00:28:10,771 --> 00:28:13,841
He'll gesture to you
and then step away
1109
00:28:10,771 --> 00:28:13,841
He'll gesture to you
and then step away
1110
00:28:13,941 --> 00:28:15,943
and say something
under his breath
1111
00:28:13,941 --> 00:28:15,943
and say something
under his breath
1112
00:28:16,043 --> 00:28:19,446
-like, uh, "I hope you didn't
have the trout." -(laughing)
1113
00:28:19,547 --> 00:28:21,382
(clears throat)
1114
00:28:19,547 --> 00:28:21,382
(clears throat)
1115
00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:24,118
"And I'm sorry
for the atmosphere
1116
00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:24,118
"And I'm sorry
for the atmosphere
1117
00:28:24,218 --> 00:28:25,853
that you might be experiencing."
1118
00:28:25,953 --> 00:28:28,122
Oh, wow. Um...
1119
00:28:25,953 --> 00:28:28,122
Oh, wow. Um...
1120
00:28:28,222 --> 00:28:30,558
I feel like you got the funny,
man. That's what you got.
1121
00:28:30,658 --> 00:28:34,128
Well, that's, uh,
that's big talk coming from you.
1122
00:28:30,658 --> 00:28:34,128
Well, that's, uh,
that's big talk coming from you.
1123
00:28:34,228 --> 00:28:35,863
-No, no, no. I mean...
I mean that for real. -(laughs)
1124
00:28:34,228 --> 00:28:35,863
-No, no, no. I mean...
I mean that for real. -(laughs)
1125
00:28:35,963 --> 00:28:38,766
Like, like, you know,
some people know you,
1126
00:28:38,866 --> 00:28:40,034
obviously, from Parks and Rec,
1127
00:28:38,866 --> 00:28:40,034
obviously, from Parks and Rec,
1128
00:28:40,134 --> 00:28:42,002
and then... and then some people
will know you
1129
00:28:42,102 --> 00:28:44,405
from the podcast that you...
that you host with your wife,
1130
00:28:42,102 --> 00:28:44,405
from the podcast that you...
that you host with your wife,
1131
00:28:44,505 --> 00:28:46,607
which is, I would argue,
the most intimate podcast.
1132
00:28:46,707 --> 00:28:49,743
You know, partly because
you host it from an actual bed.
1133
00:28:46,707 --> 00:28:49,743
You know, partly because
you host it from an actual bed.
1134
00:28:49,844 --> 00:28:51,412
-Yeah. -And partly
just because it feels
1135
00:28:51,512 --> 00:28:53,714
like we, like, know you
as a... as a couple.
1136
00:28:51,512 --> 00:28:53,714
like we, like, know you
as a... as a couple.
1137
00:28:53,747 --> 00:28:57,618
Um, and then some people
may know you from writing books.
1138
00:28:53,747 --> 00:28:57,618
Um, and then some people
may know you from writing books.
1139
00:28:57,718 --> 00:29:00,354
Where the Deer
and the Antelope Play.
1140
00:28:57,718 --> 00:29:00,354
Where the Deer
and the Antelope Play.
1141
00:29:00,454 --> 00:29:02,189
There are few books I read
1142
00:29:02,289 --> 00:29:06,160
that make me feel truly
the essence of the person.
1143
00:29:02,289 --> 00:29:06,160
that make me feel truly
the essence of the person.
1144
00:29:06,260 --> 00:29:09,330
I feel like I went to the places
that you went to in this book.
1145
00:29:06,260 --> 00:29:09,330
I feel like I went to the places
that you went to in this book.
1146
00:29:09,430 --> 00:29:10,998
Did you set out to do this
for the book
1147
00:29:11,098 --> 00:29:12,466
or did the book come
from doing the journey?
1148
00:29:11,098 --> 00:29:12,466
or did the book come
from doing the journey?
1149
00:29:12,566 --> 00:29:14,902
Uh... That's a great question.
1150
00:29:15,002 --> 00:29:17,271
Um, I mean, it all kind...
1151
00:29:15,002 --> 00:29:17,271
Um, I mean, it all kind...
1152
00:29:17,371 --> 00:29:20,241
it all kind of happened
serendipitously,
1153
00:29:17,371 --> 00:29:20,241
it all kind of happened
serendipitously,
1154
00:29:20,341 --> 00:29:22,076
simultaneously,
1155
00:29:22,176 --> 00:29:23,477
"synchronous-itously,"
1156
00:29:23,577 --> 00:29:26,247
if that's-- I think that's p--
a-an actual word.
1157
00:29:23,577 --> 00:29:26,247
if that's-- I think that's p--
a-an actual word.
1158
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:27,815
-Um... -If you say it
confidently enough,
1159
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:27,815
-Um... -If you say it
confidently enough,
1160
00:29:27,915 --> 00:29:29,016
people believe it.
1161
00:29:29,116 --> 00:29:32,386
-"Synchr-Synchronous-itously."
Um... -Yeah.
1162
00:29:29,116 --> 00:29:32,386
-"Synchr-Synchronous-itously."
Um... -Yeah.
1163
00:29:32,486 --> 00:29:34,421
(stammers)
I, uh...
1164
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:37,424
I had the idea for this book
for several years.
1165
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:37,424
I had the idea for this book
for several years.
1166
00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:39,026
I knew that it would involve
1167
00:29:39,126 --> 00:29:42,997
trying to regurgitate, sort of,
my interpretation and feelings
1168
00:29:39,126 --> 00:29:42,997
trying to regurgitate, sort of,
my interpretation and feelings
1169
00:29:43,097 --> 00:29:45,533
about our relationship
with nature
1170
00:29:43,097 --> 00:29:45,533
about our relationship
with nature
1171
00:29:45,699 --> 00:29:46,967
-for my readership.
-Mm-hmm.
1172
00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:50,137
And I was talking about the book
with Jeff Tweedy of Wilco,
1173
00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:50,137
And I was talking about the book
with Jeff Tweedy of Wilco,
1174
00:29:50,237 --> 00:29:52,139
who's in the book, and, uh,
1175
00:29:50,237 --> 00:29:52,139
who's in the book, and, uh,
1176
00:29:52,239 --> 00:29:54,008
we-we have
this three-way bromance
1177
00:29:54,108 --> 00:29:56,844
with him and George Saunders,
the great fiction writer.
1178
00:29:54,108 --> 00:29:56,844
with him and George Saunders,
the great fiction writer.
1179
00:29:56,944 --> 00:29:58,913
And it was Jeff's idea. He said,
1180
00:29:59,013 --> 00:30:01,148
"Why don't we go somewhere
and walk and--
1181
00:29:59,013 --> 00:30:01,148
"Why don't we go somewhere
and walk and--
1182
00:30:01,248 --> 00:30:03,584
"somewhere beautiful,
and you can use
1183
00:30:03,717 --> 00:30:05,252
our conversations
for your book?"
1184
00:30:05,352 --> 00:30:07,822
And I said, uh,
1185
00:30:05,352 --> 00:30:07,822
And I said, uh,
1186
00:30:07,922 --> 00:30:11,325
"Yes, Jeff Tweedy,
my philosopher poet hero,
1187
00:30:11,425 --> 00:30:13,227
that sounds fine to me." Uh...
1188
00:30:11,425 --> 00:30:13,227
that sounds fine to me." Uh...
1189
00:30:13,327 --> 00:30:14,428
So I-I booked that trip.
1190
00:30:14,528 --> 00:30:17,565
And, I mean-- So I kind of knew
1191
00:30:14,528 --> 00:30:17,565
And, I mean-- So I kind of knew
1192
00:30:17,731 --> 00:30:20,601
I wanted to go meet
James Rebanks and his family
1193
00:30:17,731 --> 00:30:20,601
I wanted to go meet
James Rebanks and his family
1194
00:30:20,734 --> 00:30:22,069
in England, uh,
1195
00:30:22,169 --> 00:30:26,307
a-and their-their shepherding
operation for myself.
1196
00:30:22,169 --> 00:30:26,307
a-and their-their shepherding
operation for myself.
1197
00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,843
But I-- There's always in
the back of my head, I'm like,
1198
00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,843
But I-- There's always in
the back of my head, I'm like,
1199
00:30:28,943 --> 00:30:31,879
"Oh, this actually might work
its way into the book."
1200
00:30:28,943 --> 00:30:31,879
"Oh, this actually might work
its way into the book."
1201
00:30:31,979 --> 00:30:34,682
Uh, and then I was writing
the first two parts of the book
1202
00:30:34,748 --> 00:30:37,384
when Megan and I ended up
deciding
1203
00:30:34,748 --> 00:30:37,384
when Megan and I ended up
deciding
1204
00:30:37,485 --> 00:30:39,954
to take this airstream trip.
1205
00:30:37,485 --> 00:30:39,954
to take this airstream trip.
1206
00:30:40,054 --> 00:30:41,956
So eventually,
the penny drops where I'm like,
1207
00:30:42,056 --> 00:30:43,491
"Oh, this also fits
into the book."
1208
00:30:43,591 --> 00:30:46,694
So, while I'm finishing up
the first two thirds,
1209
00:30:43,591 --> 00:30:46,694
So, while I'm finishing up
the first two thirds,
1210
00:30:46,794 --> 00:30:49,864
I'm living the last third,
and then it all...
1211
00:30:46,794 --> 00:30:49,864
I'm living the last third,
and then it all...
1212
00:30:49,964 --> 00:30:52,266
So, it kind of comes
organically.
1213
00:30:49,964 --> 00:30:52,266
So, it kind of comes
organically.
1214
00:30:52,366 --> 00:30:54,068
The stories
that you tell in the book
1215
00:30:54,168 --> 00:30:55,503
aren't just stories of travel.
1216
00:30:55,603 --> 00:30:57,605
They're stories of history,
they're stories of life.
1217
00:30:55,603 --> 00:30:57,605
They're stories of history,
they're stories of life.
1218
00:30:57,705 --> 00:31:01,208
They're stories of, I think,
you connecting with the humanity
1219
00:30:57,705 --> 00:31:01,208
They're stories of, I think,
you connecting with the humanity
1220
00:31:01,308 --> 00:31:04,411
of not just yourself but, like,
the land that you live on.
1221
00:31:01,308 --> 00:31:04,411
of not just yourself but, like,
the land that you live on.
1222
00:31:04,512 --> 00:31:05,813
I think a lot of people
will be surprised
1223
00:31:05,913 --> 00:31:07,515
when they read this book,
because they'll go like,
1224
00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:09,850
"Man, Nick, it gets a little
deep in some parts here."
1225
00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:09,850
"Man, Nick, it gets a little
deep in some parts here."
1226
00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:11,719
Like, one minute, you're in a...
you're in a forest,
1227
00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:11,719
Like, one minute, you're in a...
you're in a forest,
1228
00:31:11,785 --> 00:31:13,387
and the next thing,
you're talking about the people
1229
00:31:13,487 --> 00:31:14,722
who were removed
from this land,
1230
00:31:14,788 --> 00:31:17,057
or what this land
actually means.
1231
00:31:14,788 --> 00:31:17,057
or what this land
actually means.
1232
00:31:17,158 --> 00:31:19,527
I mean, I think one of the
things I talk about in the book
1233
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:23,898
is trying to bring nuance back
to our human conversations.
1234
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:23,898
is trying to bring nuance back
to our human conversations.
1235
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:23,898
is trying to bring nuance back
to our human conversations.
1236
00:31:23,998 --> 00:31:25,399
Clearly, you don't use Facebook.
1237
00:31:25,499 --> 00:31:27,735
I don't, actually, I've never
been on Facebook. Um...
1238
00:31:25,499 --> 00:31:27,735
I don't, actually, I've never
been on Facebook. Um...
1239
00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:29,837
-This explains a lot about you.
-(laughs)
1240
00:31:29,937 --> 00:31:33,174
But, uh, when I...
when I'm, for example,
1241
00:31:29,937 --> 00:31:33,174
But, uh, when I...
when I'm, for example,
1242
00:31:33,274 --> 00:31:35,576
hiking in a national park,
I can...
1243
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:38,679
You know, the first simple
reaction is, "Holy cow.
1244
00:31:38,779 --> 00:31:41,448
-"This beautiful, pristine
land..." -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1245
00:31:38,779 --> 00:31:41,448
-"This beautiful, pristine
land..." -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1246
00:31:41,549 --> 00:31:44,552
"...untouched by human...
Wait a second.
1247
00:31:41,549 --> 00:31:44,552
"...untouched by human...
Wait a second.
1248
00:31:44,685 --> 00:31:47,021
"Uh, it was touched by...
1249
00:31:47,121 --> 00:31:49,423
People used to live here,
and we killed them."
1250
00:31:47,121 --> 00:31:49,423
People used to live here,
and we killed them."
1251
00:31:49,523 --> 00:31:51,358
Or we removed them.
You know, we...
1252
00:31:51,458 --> 00:31:53,027
Right, right, right.
1253
00:31:51,458 --> 00:31:53,027
Right, right, right.
1254
00:31:53,127 --> 00:31:56,197
We-we shat on them
one way or another.
1255
00:31:53,127 --> 00:31:56,197
We-we shat on them
one way or another.
1256
00:31:56,297 --> 00:31:58,332
And by "we,"
I mean the Europeans.
1257
00:31:58,432 --> 00:31:59,900
The conquering people.
1258
00:31:58,432 --> 00:31:59,900
The conquering people.
1259
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,537
And that, then it just musingly
makes me think,
1260
00:32:03,704 --> 00:32:06,207
we were always kind of
brought up to believe
1261
00:32:06,307 --> 00:32:09,109
that to conquer something
was positive.
1262
00:32:06,307 --> 00:32:09,109
that to conquer something
was positive.
1263
00:32:09,210 --> 00:32:12,213
-Yes. -Like, we're the victors,
that makes us heroes.
1264
00:32:09,210 --> 00:32:12,213
-Yes. -Like, we're the victors,
that makes us heroes.
1265
00:32:12,313 --> 00:32:15,015
But as I looked at it
in this context,
1266
00:32:15,115 --> 00:32:16,784
I was like, wait a second,
I mean, all that really means is
1267
00:32:15,115 --> 00:32:16,784
I was like, wait a second,
I mean, all that really means is
1268
00:32:16,884 --> 00:32:19,820
we killed them better
than they were able to kill us.
1269
00:32:16,884 --> 00:32:19,820
we killed them better
than they were able to kill us.
1270
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,889
We don't want to acknowledge
where things came from
1271
00:32:21,989 --> 00:32:23,357
or how things came.
1272
00:32:23,457 --> 00:32:24,792
We don't want to consider
the possibility
1273
00:32:23,457 --> 00:32:24,792
We don't want to consider
the possibility
1274
00:32:24,892 --> 00:32:28,562
that we are enjoying
ill-gotten gains at any point.
1275
00:32:24,892 --> 00:32:28,562
that we are enjoying
ill-gotten gains at any point.
1276
00:32:28,729 --> 00:32:29,864
-You're right. I know.
-So...
1277
00:32:29,964 --> 00:32:32,466
Which is also very
understandable human behavior.
1278
00:32:29,964 --> 00:32:32,466
Which is also very
understandable human behavior.
1279
00:32:32,566 --> 00:32:36,570
I always open, when I tour
as a humorist or I write a book,
1280
00:32:32,566 --> 00:32:36,570
I always open, when I tour
as a humorist or I write a book,
1281
00:32:36,670 --> 00:32:38,839
I always try and open--
that is why it says
1282
00:32:38,939 --> 00:32:40,674
-I'm ignorant on the cover
of the book. -Right.
1283
00:32:38,939 --> 00:32:40,674
-I'm ignorant on the cover
of the book. -Right.
1284
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,476
'Cause what I am saying is,
we are all ignorant.
1285
00:32:42,576 --> 00:32:45,513
We all will never understand
all the information.
1286
00:32:42,576 --> 00:32:45,513
We all will never understand
all the information.
1287
00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,448
-No, we won't.
-We are clumsy,
1288
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:50,217
farthing mammals
that are building skyscrapers,
1289
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:50,217
farthing mammals
that are building skyscrapers,
1290
00:32:50,317 --> 00:32:53,754
and so we're never going
to do that perfectly.
1291
00:32:50,317 --> 00:32:53,754
and so we're never going
to do that perfectly.
1292
00:32:53,854 --> 00:32:56,891
We're never going to be like,
well, there is our civilization,
1293
00:32:53,854 --> 00:32:56,891
We're never going to be like,
well, there is our civilization,
1294
00:32:56,991 --> 00:32:58,392
everybody is happy.
1295
00:32:58,492 --> 00:33:01,929
And so knowing that we always
have these deficits somewhere,
1296
00:32:58,492 --> 00:33:01,929
And so knowing that we always
have these deficits somewhere,
1297
00:33:02,029 --> 00:33:04,532
let's maintain the attitude
of a student and say, "Okay,
1298
00:33:02,029 --> 00:33:04,532
let's maintain the attitude
of a student and say, "Okay,
1299
00:33:04,698 --> 00:33:08,169
"what did we get right,
and what are we getting wrong,
1300
00:33:04,698 --> 00:33:08,169
"what did we get right,
and what are we getting wrong,
1301
00:33:08,269 --> 00:33:11,305
and how can we shift
towards getting more right?"
1302
00:33:11,405 --> 00:33:13,607
You're an amazing person
to know.
1303
00:33:11,405 --> 00:33:13,607
You're an amazing person
to know.
1304
00:33:13,707 --> 00:33:15,776
I think you write some
of the most fantastic books.
1305
00:33:13,707 --> 00:33:15,776
I think you write some
of the most fantastic books.
1306
00:33:15,876 --> 00:33:17,711
I appreciate
having you on the show,
1307
00:33:17,778 --> 00:33:19,580
and next time
you go on a road trip,
1308
00:33:19,713 --> 00:33:21,515
please tell me--
I will decline,
1309
00:33:21,615 --> 00:33:24,485
but I would just like you
to tell me so that I could feel
1310
00:33:21,615 --> 00:33:24,485
but I would just like you
to tell me so that I could feel
1311
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:26,287
like I could come along.
1312
00:33:26,387 --> 00:33:27,888
Well, thank you.
I will do that.
1313
00:33:26,387 --> 00:33:27,888
Well, thank you.
I will do that.
1314
00:33:27,988 --> 00:33:30,024
And maybe...
maybe I will FaceTime you
1315
00:33:30,124 --> 00:33:32,359
-from the top of a mountain.
-I would love that,
1316
00:33:30,124 --> 00:33:32,359
-from the top of a mountain.
-I would love that,
1317
00:33:32,459 --> 00:33:33,961
Just so I can feel like,
I'll be like,
1318
00:33:34,061 --> 00:33:36,363
"Oh, yeah, oh, man, that looks
great, I wish I was there."
1319
00:33:34,061 --> 00:33:36,363
"Oh, yeah, oh, man, that looks
great, I wish I was there."
1320
00:33:36,463 --> 00:33:37,865
I don't actually wish
I was there.
1321
00:33:37,965 --> 00:33:40,734
But I would like to feel like
I wish I was there.
1322
00:33:37,965 --> 00:33:40,734
But I would like to feel like
I wish I was there.
1323
00:33:40,835 --> 00:33:43,270
I would... sometimes I'm scared
on the top of a mountain,
1324
00:33:43,370 --> 00:33:45,105
and I think
it would be comforting
1325
00:33:43,370 --> 00:33:45,105
and I think
it would be comforting
1326
00:33:45,206 --> 00:33:46,907
to see your face
just for a minute.
1327
00:33:47,007 --> 00:33:48,175
I appreciate that, Nick.
Thank you.
1328
00:33:47,007 --> 00:33:48,175
I appreciate that, Nick.
Thank you.
1329
00:33:48,275 --> 00:33:49,944
Thanks for having me.
1330
00:33:50,044 --> 00:33:52,012
All right, people, don't forget,
Nick's book,
1331
00:33:50,044 --> 00:33:52,012
All right, people, don't forget,
Nick's book,
1332
00:33:52,112 --> 00:33:54,682
Where the Deer and the Antelope
Play, is available right now.
1333
00:33:54,748 --> 00:33:58,152
And Colin in Black and White,
the brand-new show
1334
00:33:54,748 --> 00:33:58,152
And Colin in Black and White,
the brand-new show
1335
00:33:58,252 --> 00:33:59,820
that is going to premiere
on Netflix October 29--
1336
00:33:58,252 --> 00:33:59,820
that is going to premiere
on Netflix October 29--
1337
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,956
this man over there,
he's gonna be playing
1338
00:34:02,056 --> 00:34:04,124
Colin Kaepernick's father.
Yeah, that's what I said.
1339
00:34:02,056 --> 00:34:04,124
Colin Kaepernick's father.
Yeah, that's what I said.
1340
00:34:04,225 --> 00:34:05,759
All right, we're going
to take a quick break,
1341
00:34:05,860 --> 00:34:07,695
but we'll be right back
after this.
1342
00:34:09,496 --> 00:34:10,798
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there,
1343
00:34:10,898 --> 00:34:14,535
get your vaccine,
and remember, be nice to pigs.
1344
00:34:10,898 --> 00:34:14,535
get your vaccine,
and remember, be nice to pigs.
1345
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:17,571
The next one you see
could be your kidney donor.
1346
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:17,571
The next one you see
could be your kidney donor.
1347
00:34:17,671 --> 00:34:20,708
Or your breakfast bacon.
Either way, be nice.
1348
00:34:17,671 --> 00:34:20,708
Or your breakfast bacon.
Either way, be nice.
1349
00:34:20,808 --> 00:34:23,711
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
1350
00:34:23,811 --> 00:34:26,847
♪ ♪
1351
00:34:23,811 --> 00:34:26,847
♪ ♪
1352
00:34:26,947 --> 00:34:30,818
Hey, you see what Rudy Giuliani
posted on Twitter last night?
1353
00:34:26,947 --> 00:34:30,818
Hey, you see what Rudy Giuliani
posted on Twitter last night?
1354
00:34:30,918 --> 00:34:36,757
Virginia, vote against the man
who dishonored our past
1355
00:34:30,918 --> 00:34:36,757
Virginia, vote against the man
who dishonored our past
1356
00:34:30,918 --> 00:34:36,757
Virginia, vote against the man
who dishonored our past
1357
00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:38,759
by selling my bedroom!
1358
00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:39,927
-Oh! -Oh! -Oh! -Oh!
1359
00:34:40,027 --> 00:34:42,663
Who does this [bleep] guy
think he is!
1360
00:34:40,027 --> 00:34:42,663
Who does this [bleep] guy
think he is!
1361
00:34:42,763 --> 00:34:45,032
Can I have my hat back, please?
1362
00:34:42,763 --> 00:34:45,032
Can I have my hat back, please?
1363
00:34:45,132 --> 00:34:47,368
It's a dumb hat anyway.