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Trevor: hey, what’s going

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on everybody?

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WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SOCIAL

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DISTANCING SHOW."

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I’M TREVOR NOAH.

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TODAY IS WEDNESDAY, THE 9th OF

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DECEMBER, WHICH MEANS HANNUKAH

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STARTS TOMORROW NIGHT, SO YOU

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ONLY HAVE ONE DAY LEFT TO FIGURE

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OUT HOW YOU’RE GOING TO SPELL IT

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THIS YEAR.

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ANYWAY, COMING UP ON TONIGHT’S

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SHOW:

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WE FIGURE OUT WHY IT’S GREAT TO

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BE WHITE, WE SEE WHY 2020 WAS

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SUCH A HORNY YEAR, AND GEORGE

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WALLACE JOINS ME ON THE SHOW.

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SO LET’S DO THIS, PEOPLE!

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WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SOCIAL
DISTANCING SHOW."

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Announcer: FROM TREVOR’S

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Announcer: FROM TREVOR’S

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COUCH IN NEW YORK CITY TO YOUR

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COUCH SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD,

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THIS IS "THE DAILY SOCIAL

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DISTANCING SHOW," WITH TREVOR
NOAH."

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Trevor: LET’S KICK THINGS OFF

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Trevor: LET’S KICK THINGS OFF

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WITH DONALD J. TRUMP, PRESIDENT

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OF THE UNITED STATES AND MAN

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LOSING A BAR FIGHT WITH REALITY.

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EVER SINCE HE LOST THE ELECTION,

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HIS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GOING

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THROUGH EVERY COURT IN THE

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COUNTRY TRYING TO FIND A JUDGE

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WHO WILL HELP HIM UNLOSE THE

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ELECTION.

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BUT YESTERDAY, HE MIGHT HAVE HIT

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A DEAD END.

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THE SUPREME COURT HAS NOW

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SHOT DOWN AN EFFORT BY PRESIDENT

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TRUMP’S ALLIES IN PENNSYLVANIA

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IN THAT OVERALL EFFORT TO TRY TO

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OVERTURN THE ELECTION.

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TERRY, THE U.S. SUPREME

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COURT SEEMED TO SEND A VERY

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STRONG SIGNAL LATE TODAY WITH

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VERY FEW WORDS.

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THEY SURE DID.

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THIS WAS BRUTAL, DAVID, NO

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QUESTION ABOUT IT.

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IT TOOK THE SUPREME COURT JUST

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34 MINUTES BETWEEN THE TIME THAT

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PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ALLIES IN

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PENNSYLVANIA FILED THEIR BRIEF

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IN THIS CASE AND A ONE-SENTENCE

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ORDER FROM THE SUPREME COURT

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REJECTING THAT ENTIRE CASE.

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NO REASONING, JUST, NO

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GET OUT OF HERE.

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AND THERE WERE NO RECORDED

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DISSENTS BY ANY OF THE JUSTICES,

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INCLUDING AMY CONEY BARRETT AND

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NEIL GORSUCH AND BRETT

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KAVANAUGH, ALL OF WHOM WERE

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APPOINTED BY PRESIDENT TRUMP.

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IT CAME IN A SINGLE SENTENCE,

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AND WE QUOTE, "THE APPLICATION

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FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF PRESENTED

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TO JUSTICE ALITO AND BY HIM

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REFERRED TO THE COURT IS DENIED.

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MAN.

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NOT ONLY DID THEY SHUT DOWN HIS

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CASE, BUT THEY DID IT IN JUST 34

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MINUTES!

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THEY DIDN’T EVEN PRETEND THAT

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THEY WERE GOING TO CONSIDER IT.

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THIS IS YOU ASKING SOMEONE,

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SOMEBODY OUT AND THEY SHUT YOU

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DOWN IMMEDIATELY.

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"HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO--" NO...

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"GO OUT WITH ME?"

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AND TRUMP MUST BE ESPECIALLY

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BUTT-HURT THAT THE JUSTICES HE

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APPOINTED DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

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ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE IN HIS MIND,

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THEY OWE HIM BIG TIME.

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HE’S PROBABLY LIKE, "WHAT THE

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HELL, BRETT?!

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I STUCK WITH YOU WHEN EVERYONE

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SAID YOU WERE A CREEPY DRUNK,

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BUT NOW YOU WON’T LET ME BE

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PRESIDENT JUST BECAUSE I DIDN’T

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GET ENOUGH VOTES?

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ALL OF A SUDDEN, NOW YOU KNOW

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THE MEANING OF THE WORD "NO"?!

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I HATE ALL OF YOU-- NEAL,

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BRETT-- AND YOU HURT ME MOST OF

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ALL, AMY CONEY ISLAND!"

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HERE’S THE TRUTH.

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YOU CAN’T BLAME THE SUPREME

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COURT FOR NOT WANTING TO GET

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INVOLVED IN TRUMP’S CASE.

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BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS THAT ONE

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FRIEND THAT WHEN YOU SEE THEM

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CRYING, YOU THINK, "I’M JUST

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GOING TO KEEP WALKING, BECAUSE

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IF I TRY TO HELP, THIS IS GOING

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TO BE A WHOLE THING."

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SO, THIS LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE

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THE END FOR TRUMP’S LEGAL

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EFFORTS, BECAUSE HE CAN’T APPEAL

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A CASE HIGHER THAN THE SUPREME

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COURT.

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I MEAN, MAYBE HE’LL TRY TO

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APPEAL TO GOD.

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WHO KNOWS?

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( AS TRUMP )

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LOOK, I KNOW I ONLY ASK FOR YOUR

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HELP WHEN I’M WALKING DOWN A

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RAMP, BUT THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT,

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BIG GUY."

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AND CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO

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REFLECT ON HOW HARD THIS PAST

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MONTH HAS BEEN FOR TRUMP’S

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PEOPLE, BECAUSE IT’S NOT EASY TO

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OVERTURN A DEMOCRACY.

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IT’S ACTUALLY TAKING A PHYSICAL

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TOLL ON THEM.

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TRUMP’S HAIR WENT GREY

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OVERNIGHT, HIS LEGAL TEAM IS

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RIDDLED WITH CORONA, AND NOW ONE

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OF TRUMP’S TOP SUPPORTERS,

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CONGRESSMAN LOUIE GOHMERT, IS

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LITERALLY FALLING APART.

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IT WAS AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT

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FOR TEXAS REPUBLICAN LOUIE
GOHMERT.

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I HAVE, UH, CONSULTED, BEEN

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WITH OUR AFGHAN ALLIES, MANY

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TIMES, SINCE 2000-- 2001.

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HIS TOOTH FELL OUT IN THE

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MIDDLE OF A PRESS CONFERENCE ON

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CAPITOL HILL.

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THE CONGRESSMAN DIDN’T MISS A

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BEAT.

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HE QUICKLY CAUGHT IT WITH HIS

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TONGUE, TUCKED IT AWAY IN HIS

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CHEEK, AND KEPT SPEAKING.

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GOHMERT TWEETED LATER, ACCUSING

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REPORTERS OF BEING MORE

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INTERESTED IN A TEMPORARY CROWN

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COMING LOOSE THAN THEY WERE

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UNCOVERING CLAIMS OF ELECTION

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FRAUD BY THE PRESIDENT.

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Trevor: THAT IS THE MOST

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DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER

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SEEN IN 2020-- AND I SAW RUDY’S

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HAIR MELT AND A HUMAN WOMAN

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MARRY AN INSIDE-OUT FERRET.

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BUT AS DISGUSTING AS IT IS, IT’S

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STILL PRETTY FUNNY.

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TRUMP’S FRAUD CASES ARE GETTING

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KNOCKED OUT OF COURT SO HARD

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THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE LOSING

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THEIR TEETH.

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AND IT’S NOT LIKE LOUIE GOHMERT

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CAN GIVE THAT TOOTH TO THE TOOTH

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FAIRY.

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SHE’S GOING TO BE LIKE, "NUH-UH,

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I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT.

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I BUY TEETH FROM KIDS, NOT A

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MIDDLE-AGED CABBAGE PATCH DOLL."

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AND I LOVE HOW HE TRIED TO MOVE

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ON LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.

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DID YOU SEE THAT?

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TRIED TO MOVE ON.

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MY MAN.

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I DON’T CARE WHAT SIDE OF

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HISTORY YOU’RE ON.

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IF YOUR TOOTH, FALLS OUT

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MID-SPEECH, YOUR ARGUMENT IS

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OVER.

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I KNOW IT’S NOT FAIR, BUT IT’S

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THE WAY IT IS.

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IF THAT HAPPENED TO F.D.R.,

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EVEN HE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE,

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"DECEMBER 7, 1941, A DATE WHICH

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WILL LIVE IN INFAM--

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OH, SHIT MY TOOTH.

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FORGET IT.

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CONGRATS, JAPAN, YOU WON."

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BUT LET’S MOVE ON.

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AS WE ENTER THE SECOND YEAR OF

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THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, THERE

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IS ONE THING ON TOP OF

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EVERYBODY’S HOLIDAY WISH LIST:

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A PLAYSTATION 5.

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AND AFTER THAT, A VACCINE.

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AND SANTA’S WORKING HARD TO MAKE

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IT HAPPEN.

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GREAT BRITAIN HAS ALREADY BEGUN

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STATES. IS CLOSE BEHIND, AND

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IS CLOSE BEHIND, AND CHINA HAS

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JUST ANNOUNCED THAT ITS NEW

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VACCINE IS 86% EFFECTIVE.

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BUT THE FIRST COUNTRY TO START

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MASS VACCINATIONS WAS ACTUALLY

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RUSSIA.

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AND THE REASON THEY WERE ABLE TO

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BE FIRST IS THAT THEY DIDN’T

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FINISH TESTING IT FIRST, WHICH

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MIGHT BE WHY THINGS HAVEN’T BEEN

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GOING GREAT WITH IT SO FAR.

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INTERESTING REQUEST FOR THOSE

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GETTING A VACCINE IN RUSSIA,

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OFFICIALS TELLING CITIZENS,

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"PLEASE AVOID DRINKING ALCOHOL

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FOR TWO MONTHS AFTER BEING

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INOCULATED."

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THEY SAY THAT ALCOHOL IMPACTS

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THE IMMUNE SYSTEM.

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THERE HAVE BEEN SOME QUESTIONS

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ABOUT THE EFFICACY OF RUSSIA’S

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VACCINE.

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REPORTS SAY MEDICAL WORKERS WHO

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HAVE BEEN VACCINATED ARE STILL

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GETTING COVID.

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VLADIMIR PUTIN HAS ALSO REFUSED

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TO TAKE IT.

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Trevor: WOW, THERE’S A LOT TO

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UNPACK HERE.

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FIRST OFF, RUSSIA’S VACCINE

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DOESN’T ALLOW YOU TO DRINK

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ALCOHOL?

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THIS IS A TOUGH SITUATION,

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BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY YOU WOULD

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AGREE TO TAKE A RUSSIAN VACCINE

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IS IF YOU WERE TOTALLY

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SHITFACED.

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NOT TO MENTION, NOT DRINKING IS

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GOING TO CAUSE A LOT OF

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PROBLEMS, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT

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A LOT OF RUSSIANS ARE GOING TO

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BE SEEING RUSSIA SOBER FOR THE

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FIRST TIME.

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"WHAT IS THIS?

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MY HOME IS FROZEN WASTELAND

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WHERE TOP FOOD IS BEETS?

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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?

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I THOUGHT I LIVED IN THE

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CARIBBEAN."

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ALSO, IT DOESN’T BUILD PUBLIC

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CONFIDENCE IN THE VACCINE IF

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YOUR LEADER IS LIKE, "I’LL TAKE

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MY CHANCES WITH CORONA!

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THAT VACCINE IS POISON, AND

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TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT’S POISON!"
BUT LET’S MOVE ON.

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BUT LET’S MOVE ON.

258
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FROM TIME TO TIME, I SEE STORIES

259
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:56,297
THAT MAKE ME THINK, "DAMN, IT IS

260
00:06:56,299 --> 00:06:57,281
GOOD TO BE WHITE IN AMERICA,"

261
00:06:57,282 --> 00:06:58,244
BECAUSE I KNOW A LOT OF WHITE

262
00:06:58,245 --> 00:06:59,127
PEOPLE ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW,

263
00:06:59,128 --> 00:06:59,902
BUT WHITE PEOPLE CAN ALSO GET

264
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:02,737
AWAY WITH SHIT IN THIS COUNTRY

265
00:07:02,772 --> 00:07:04,142
THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD.

266
00:07:04,143 --> 00:07:06,290
SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT, I THINK

267
00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:08,163
THERE ARE SOME TIMES WHEN WE

268
00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:10,589
JUST TO APPRECIATE IT AND BE

269
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:14,660
LIKE, YO, MAN, "YOU’RE SO LUCKY

270
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,454
YOU’RE WHITE."

271
00:07:16,455 --> 00:07:18,761
♪ ♪ ♪

272
00:07:18,795 --> 00:07:21,398
TONIGHT’S STORY TAKES PLACE IN

273
00:07:21,432 --> 00:07:24,173
STATEN ISLAND, WHICH IS A LITTLE

274
00:07:24,174 --> 00:07:25,375
POCKET OF RED AMERICA INSIDE

275
00:07:25,409 --> 00:07:26,958
DEEP BLUE NEW YORK CITY-- LIKE

276
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,684
IF ELMO DROWNED AT SEA.

277
00:07:28,685 --> 00:07:30,353
AND THE LUCKY WHITE PERSON AT

278
00:07:30,388 --> 00:07:31,532
THE CENTER OF THIS STORY IS

279
00:07:31,566 --> 00:07:33,970
DANNY PRESTI, BAR MANAGER AND

280
00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:34,848
HAIRY EGG.

281
00:07:34,849 --> 00:07:36,902
HIS LUCK BEGAN A WEEK AGO WHEN

282
00:07:36,903 --> 00:07:39,101
HE FOUND THE COURAGE TO TAKE A

283
00:07:39,103 --> 00:07:40,649
STAND AGAINST STAYING ALIVE.

284
00:07:40,684 --> 00:07:42,873
FOR A SMALL BAR ON STATEN

285
00:07:42,907 --> 00:07:44,504
ISLAND, MAC’S PUBLIC HOUSE HAS

286
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,361
BECOME A NATIONAL LIGHTNING ROD

287
00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:48,050
IN THE PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN.

288
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,378
WHEN THE SOUTHERN PORTION OF

289
00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:51,821
STATEN ISLAND WENT INTO THE

290
00:07:51,822 --> 00:07:52,823
ORANGE ZONE LAST MONTH, THE

291
00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:54,638
OWNER OF MAC’S PUBLIC HOUSE SAID

292
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:56,527
HE COULD NOT AFFORD TO CLOSE

293
00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:59,482
AGAIN, SO HE DECLARED HIS

294
00:07:59,484 --> 00:08:00,779
PROPERTY AN AUTONOMOUS ZONE.

295
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,875
HE’S POSTED STATEMENTS ON THE

296
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:06,098
WINDOWS REFUSING TO ABIDE BY ANY

297
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:07,061
RULES AND REGULATIONS PUT FORTH

298
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,404
BY THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY

299
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:09,053
AND THE GOVERNOR.

300
00:08:09,054 --> 00:08:11,135
OPEN UP!

301
00:08:11,136 --> 00:08:13,284
OPEN UP!

302
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,206
HUNDREDS OF PROTESTERS

303
00:08:15,207 --> 00:08:16,557
OUTSIDE THE NOW-INFAMOUS MAC’S

304
00:08:16,591 --> 00:08:17,643
PUBLIC HOUSE ON STATEN ISLAND

305
00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,183
TONIGHT DEMANDING IT OPEN FOR

306
00:08:19,184 --> 00:08:20,528
BUSINESS.

307
00:08:20,529 --> 00:08:21,757
U.S.A.!

308
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,035
U.S.A.!

309
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:23,895
U.S.A.!

310
00:08:23,929 --> 00:08:26,495
WE ARE A COMMUNITY.

311
00:08:26,496 --> 00:08:28,252
WE TAKE BACK OUR COMMUNITY.

312
00:08:28,253 --> 00:08:28,798
WE’RE ALL TOGETHER.

313
00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:31,845
WE TAKE BACK STATEN ISLAND

314
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:32,430
TONIGHT.

315
00:08:32,431 --> 00:08:35,360
Trevor: OKAY, RIGHT AWAY, WE

316
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:37,872
CAN ALL AGREE THAT THIS DUDE IS

317
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:40,366
BEHAVING VERY WHITE, BECAUSE

318
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,955
IT’S A VERY WHITE THING TO DO TO

319
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:43,778
JUST DECLARE YOURSELF AN

320
00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:44,502
INDEPENDENT IF YOU DON’T LIKE A

321
00:08:44,503 --> 00:08:44,814
LAW.

322
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:45,914
I MEAN, THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION

323
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,009
WAS BASICALLY WHITE GUYS SAYING,

324
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:50,240
"I’LL DRINK TEA WHEN I WANT TO

325
00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:51,526
DRINK TEA!"

326
00:08:51,561 --> 00:08:52,291
GODDAMN IT.

327
00:08:52,292 --> 00:08:54,252
THE QUEEN ISN’T GOING TO TELL ME

328
00:08:54,286 --> 00:08:56,386
I HAVE TO HAVE HIGH TEA.

329
00:08:56,387 --> 00:08:58,196
WHAT IF I WANT LOW TEA, OR NO

330
00:08:58,198 --> 00:09:00,350
TEA?

331
00:09:00,385 --> 00:09:02,383
WHAT ABOUT COFFEE?"

332
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,242
NOT TO MENTION, HE JUST DECLARED

333
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,505
HIMSELF AUTONOMOUS IN FRONT OF

334
00:09:05,539 --> 00:09:06,461
AN AMERICAN FLAG!

335
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,622
THESE GUYS ALWAYS WANT IT BOTH

336
00:09:07,656 --> 00:09:11,814
WAYS: "AMERICA IS TYRANNICAL, SO

337
00:09:11,849 --> 00:09:15,652
I DECLARE MYSELF INDEPENDENT!

338
00:09:15,653 --> 00:09:16,246
U.S.A!"

339
00:09:16,247 --> 00:09:18,261
WHITE PRIME NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE

340
00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:18,704
ME.

341
00:09:18,705 --> 00:09:20,189
THEY WILL FOLLOW ALL THE RULES

342
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,541
OF "ESCAPE THE ROOM" TO THE

343
00:09:21,576 --> 00:09:23,137
LETTER, BUT THE MOMENT YOU ASK

344
00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:25,141
THEM TO WEAR A MASK THEY TURN

345
00:09:25,142 --> 00:09:27,129
INTO FREEDOM FIGHTERS WEAPON

346
00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,240
WHERE WAS THAT FREEDOM-FIGHTING

347
00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:30,430
ATTITUDE WHEN I DECIDED TO PIK

348
00:09:30,465 --> 00:09:34,919
THE LOCKS INSTEAD OF SEARCHING

349
00:09:34,954 --> 00:09:37,832
FOR CLUES, HUH, CHAD!

350
00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:41,819
THE POLICE CAME TO SHUT DOWN THE

351
00:09:41,853 --> 00:09:44,643
BAR, AND THAT’S WHEN PRESTI’S

352
00:09:44,677 --> 00:09:45,484
LUCK REALLY STARTED.

353
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,259
THAT DEFIANT GENERAL MANAGER

354
00:09:46,261 --> 00:09:47,012
OF A STATEN ISLAND BAR WAS

355
00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:47,710
RELEASED WITHOUT BAIL AFTER HE

356
00:09:47,711 --> 00:09:49,745
WAS ARRESTED FOR HITTING A

357
00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:50,879
SHERIFF’S DEPUTY WITH HIS CAR.

358
00:09:50,913 --> 00:09:51,669
THIS WEEKEND DEPUTIES TRIED TO

359
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,778
ARREST DANNY PRESTI AFTER HE

360
00:09:53,813 --> 00:09:54,834
ALLOWED PEOPLE TO GATHER AT

361
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:55,658
MAC’S PUBLIC HOUSE WHEN IT WAS

362
00:09:55,692 --> 00:09:56,552
SUPPOSED TO BE SHUT DOWN.

363
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:57,489
WHEN THEY FOLLOWED HIM UP THE

364
00:09:57,491 --> 00:09:58,292
BLOCK TO HIS CAR, THEY SAY HE

365
00:09:58,294 --> 00:09:58,867
RAN AND DROVE OFF, HITTING A

366
00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:00,102
DEPUTY WHO ROLLED ON TO HIS

367
00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:00,481
HOOD.

368
00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:02,065
AND DESPITE THIS SURVEILLANCE

369
00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:03,161
VIDEO THAT SHOWS THE INCIDENT,

370
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,019
PRESTI HAS A DIFFERENT VERSION

371
00:10:04,053 --> 00:10:05,087
OF WHAT HAPPENED.

372
00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:07,030
I THINK WHEN THE

373
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:07,655
INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETE,

374
00:10:07,656 --> 00:10:10,443
YOU’RE GOING TO FIND OUT THAT

375
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,596
I DID NOTHING WRONG.

376
00:10:11,631 --> 00:10:14,468
Trevor: OOOOOH-WEE, THAT DUDE

377
00:10:14,469 --> 00:10:16,459
IS SO LUCKY HE’S WHITE!

378
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,343
YO, CAN YOU IMAGINE.

379
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:20,959
COPS SAY YOU HIT ONE OF THEM

380
00:10:20,993 --> 00:10:24,730
WITH YOUR CAR AND YOU GET
RELEASED WITHOUT BAIL, NO BAIL!

381
00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:26,231
RELEASED WITHOUT BAIL, NO BAIL!

382
00:10:26,232 --> 00:10:30,636
BEST BELIEVE IF HE WAS BLACK,

383
00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:33,072
THEY’D HAVE DRAGGED HIM OUT OF

384
00:10:33,106 --> 00:10:34,296
HIS CAR, BEAT HIS ASS, AND

385
00:10:34,298 --> 00:10:34,970
THEN BEAT THE CAR’S ASS!

386
00:10:35,004 --> 00:10:35,673
AND I LOVE HOW HE’S SAYING,

387
00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:36,146
"WHEN THE INVESTIGATION IS

388
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:36,698
COMPLETE, YOU’LL SEE I DID

389
00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:37,815
NOTHING WRONG."

390
00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:39,289
MY MAN, YOU’RE ON VIDEO.

391
00:10:39,323 --> 00:10:41,384
THE INVESTIGATION IS OVER.

392
00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:43,237
IT LASTED FIVE SECONDS.

393
00:10:43,271 --> 00:10:44,643
MY EYES JUST DID THE

394
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:45,085
INVESTIGATION.

395
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:47,215
AND THEY SAW YOUR ASS DRIVE INTO

396
00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:49,487
THE POLICE.

397
00:10:49,488 --> 00:10:50,368
CASE CLOSED.

398
00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:51,595
SO INSTEAD OF BEING PUNISHED FOR

399
00:10:51,629 --> 00:10:52,371
PLOWING INTO A COP, THIS GUY

400
00:10:52,373 --> 00:10:53,267
GETS AWAY WITH IT LIKE HE’S IN

401
00:10:53,301 --> 00:10:54,264
"GRAND THEFT AUTO."

402
00:10:54,299 --> 00:10:55,522
AND IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN THAT .

403
00:10:55,557 --> 00:10:56,676
AT LEAST IN "GRAND THEFT AUTO,"

404
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:59,155
YOU HAVE GO TO GO INTO HIDING

405
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,716
FOR A BIT BEFORE YOU’RE SAFE.

406
00:11:00,751 --> 00:11:01,433
BUT, NO, THIS GUY IMMEDIATELY

407
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:02,648
WENT TO BRAG ABOUT IT ON FOX

408
00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:02,912
NEWS!

409
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:04,564
I’M LOOKING AT YOUR BUSINESS,

410
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:06,629
AND YOU’RE GETTING KILLED.

411
00:11:06,663 --> 00:11:08,304
AND THESE RESTRICTIONS-- I MEAN,

412
00:11:08,305 --> 00:11:09,485
DO PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR

413
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:10,607
HEART, LIFE, AND SOUL IS

414
00:11:10,609 --> 00:11:11,259
INVOLVED IN THIS, SIR?

415
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:13,070
NOW, I JUST WANT TO SAY, I

416
00:11:13,104 --> 00:11:14,899
APPLAUD A LOT OF THESE

417
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:17,330
SMALL-BUSINESS OWNERS THAT

418
00:11:17,332 --> 00:11:18,638
PEACEFULLY PUSH BACK AGAINST

419
00:11:18,672 --> 00:11:20,128
THIS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER

420
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:20,520
RECOURSE.

421
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,917
WHAT IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU

422
00:11:22,918 --> 00:11:23,874
IS PEOPLE ARE FRUSTRATED, AND

423
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:24,421
THEY’RE PROTECTIVE, AND THEY

424
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:25,649
FEEL LIKE THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT

425
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:26,899
LOOKING OUT FOR THEM

426
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,723
I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD

427
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:30,061
REVEAL THIS, DANNY, BUT I

428
00:11:30,062 --> 00:11:31,448
ACTUALLY KNOW COPS THAT ARE

429
00:11:31,449 --> 00:11:32,312
TELLING YOU PRIVATELY,

430
00:11:32,313 --> 00:11:34,266
WHISPERING IN YOUR EAR, THEY

431
00:11:34,268 --> 00:11:36,676
DON’T WANT TO DO THIS TO YOU.

432
00:11:36,677 --> 00:11:38,090
THEY ARE BEING FORCED TO.

433
00:11:38,091 --> 00:11:39,056
AND I’M REALLY SORRY THAT YOU’RE

434
00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:40,270
GOING THROUGH ALL THIS, TO BE

435
00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:41,168
VERY HONEST.

436
00:11:41,169 --> 00:11:42,481
Trevor: DAAAAAAMN!

437
00:11:42,483 --> 00:11:45,397
YOU’RE SO LUCKY YOU’RE WHITE!

438
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,150
THIS DUDE HAS A WHOLE NETWORK

439
00:11:47,151 --> 00:11:49,945
APOLOGIZING TO HIM FOR RUNNING

440
00:11:49,946 --> 00:11:51,842
OVER A POLICEMAN!

441
00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:52,339
A POLICEMAN!

442
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,295
AND NOT JUST ANY NETWORK, BUT

443
00:11:54,329 --> 00:11:54,692
FOX NEWS!

444
00:11:54,726 --> 00:11:57,625
FOX ALWAYS STANDS WITH COPS

445
00:11:57,626 --> 00:11:59,724
AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE, BUT THE

446
00:11:59,725 --> 00:12:01,749
SECOND A WHITE GUY HITS A COP,

447
00:12:01,784 --> 00:12:03,048
SUDDENLY, FOX GOES ALL

448
00:12:03,082 --> 00:12:04,734
"(BLEEP) THA POLICE."

449
00:12:04,735 --> 00:12:07,034
THEY EVEN TOLD HIM HE WAS

450
00:12:07,035 --> 00:12:09,093
"PEACEFULLY PUSHING BACK" WHEN

451
00:12:09,127 --> 00:12:11,646
HE WAS PUSHING WITH HIS CAR.

452
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,687
YO, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

453
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,848
WHEN BLACK PEOPLE JUST WALK IN

454
00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:18,547
THE STREET, FOX CALLS IT A RIOT.

455
00:12:18,581 --> 00:12:20,537
BUT THIS WHITE GUY DRIVES INTO A

456
00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:22,078
COP, A POLICE OFFICER, AN

457
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,381
OFFICER OF THE LAW!

458
00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,438
AND FOX NEWS IS LIKE, THIS IS A

459
00:12:25,472 --> 00:12:26,637
HIT-AND-RUN, THIS IS A

460
00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:27,986
HIT-AND-RUN THAT MARTIN LUTHER

461
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,235
KING JR. WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD

462
00:12:30,237 --> 00:12:30,708
OF!"

463
00:12:30,742 --> 00:12:33,506
7 I HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR YOU,

464
00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:34,677
WHAT HAPPENED TO BLUE LIVES

465
00:12:34,678 --> 00:12:35,197
MATTER?

466
00:12:35,198 --> 00:12:36,942
I GUESS TECHNICALLY IT’S BLUE

467
00:12:36,976 --> 00:12:38,666
LIVES MATTER IS ABOVE BLACK

468
00:12:38,699 --> 00:12:40,267
LIVES MATTER, BUT THE NUMBER ONE

469
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:45,868
THING IS WHITE LIVES MATTER.

470
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:47,636
THERE YOU HAVE IT.

471
00:12:47,671 --> 00:12:50,118
THIS GUY DECLARES HIMSELF ABOVE

472
00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:51,062
THE LAW, HOSTS SUPER-SPREADER

473
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:51,914
PARTIES AT HIS BAR, RUNS OVER

474
00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:52,647
THE POLICE WHEN THEY TRY TO STOP

475
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:53,175
HIM, AND NOW HE’S A FOX NEWS

476
00:12:53,176 --> 00:12:53,315
HERO.

477
00:12:53,349 --> 00:12:54,026
THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO SAY

478
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:54,594
EXCEPT, "YOU’RE SO LUCKY YOU’RE

479
00:12:54,596 --> 00:12:54,736
WHITE."

480
00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:55,749
ALL RIGHT, WE’RE GOING TO TAKE A

481
00:12:55,783 --> 00:12:57,017
QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME

482
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:59,319
BACK MICHAEL KOSTA WILL GIVE US

483
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,416
HIS IDEA ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE

484
00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:03,200
NIGHTMARE THAT WAS 2020.

485
00:13:03,201 --> 00:13:05,612
AND THEN WE’LL LOOK BACK ON ON

486
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:07,171
WHY EVERYONE WANTED TO SMASH IN

487
00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:08,276
BECAUSE OF 2020.

488
00:13:08,311 --> 00:13:10,725
DON’T GO AWAY.

489
00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:12,914
THE FORBIDDEN PHRASE IS

490
00:13:12,949 --> 00:13:13,189
PRESIDENT-ELECT.

491
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:14,696
DO YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT

492
00:13:14,698 --> 00:13:17,226
JOE BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT

493
00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:18,965
OF THE UNITED STATES?

494
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,883
WELL, WE’RE CERTAINLY MOVING

495
00:13:20,918 --> 00:13:22,364
FORWARD AS IF THAT’S-- THAT’S

496
00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:23,590
WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN.

497
00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:26,873
WHAT MATTERS IS, WE’RE DOING--

498
00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:28,517
GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS TO

499
00:13:28,518 --> 00:13:30,055
ALLOW THIS PROCESS TO WORK ITS

500
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:30,513
WAY--

501
00:13:30,547 --> 00:13:32,493
I HAD HEAR YOU BUT--

502
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,148
TO INAUGURATION DAY.

503
00:13:34,182 --> 00:13:35,842
DO YOU CONCUR WITH SENATOR

504
00:13:35,844 --> 00:13:38,113
TOOMEY THAT IT IS NOW OVER?

505
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:39,801
NO, I DO NOT.

506
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:41,514
I THINK VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS

507
00:13:41,548 --> 00:13:43,034
BEEN A BIT OVERDRAMATIC.

508
00:13:43,069 --> 00:13:44,838
DO YOU NOW ACCEPT THAT HE’S

509
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:45,179
PRESIDENT-ELECT?

510
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:46,616
WELL, WE’VE GOT A PROCESS

511
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,725
THAT I THINK WE’VE BEEN GOING

512
00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:50,421
THROUGH SINCE THE ELECTION, AND

513
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,934
IT’S GOING TO PLAY ITSELF OUT.

514
00:13:52,936 --> 00:13:54,658
WELL, CHRIS, I-- I WELCOME

515
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:55,492
VICE PRESIDENT BIDE TONE THE

516
00:13:55,493 --> 00:13:56,339
CLUB.

517
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:59,374
THE DEMOCRATIC LEADER OF THE

518
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:00,078
SENATE AND...

519
00:14:00,112 --> 00:14:01,912
FORMER VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN.

520
00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:03,756
HAVE YOU SPOKEN YET WITH THE

521
00:14:03,790 --> 00:14:05,174
PRESIDENT-ELECT TO CONGRATULATE

522
00:14:05,209 --> 00:14:07,814
HIM ON HIS VICTORY?

523
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:10,312
I HAVE NOT SPOKEN WITH THE

524
00:14:10,347 --> 00:14:11,177
PRESIDENT-ELECT.

525
00:14:11,178 --> 00:14:11,716
PRESIDENT-ELECT.

526
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,030
( BUZZER )

527
00:14:13,064 --> 00:14:14,897
MARSHA BLACKBURN EVEN

528
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:16,584
REFERRED TO BIDEN AND HARRIS AS

529
00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:17,192
PRESIDENT AND VICE

530
00:14:17,194 --> 00:14:18,911
PRESIDENT-ELECT THE OTHER DAY,

531
00:14:18,913 --> 00:14:21,261
AND ONE OF HER SPOKESPEOPLE SAID

532
00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:23,319
SHE MISSPOKE WHEN SHE SAID THAT.

533
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,715
( BELL RINGING )

534
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:27,708
( APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪

535
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:32,804
Trevor: WELCOME BACK TO "THE

536
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:33,246
Trevor: WELCOME BACK TO "THE

537
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:33,836
DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW."

538
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,429
THIS MONTH, WE’VE BEEN LOOKING

539
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:36,556
BACK AT 2020.

540
00:14:36,558 --> 00:14:39,133
WE’VE TALKED ABOUT MUSIC,

541
00:14:39,168 --> 00:14:39,619
MOVIES, TECHNOLOGY.

542
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:40,921
AND NOW, TO GIVE US HIS REVIEW

543
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,800
OF THIS LAST YEAR, LET’S BRING

544
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:44,842
IN A MAN WHO CAN BARELY REMEMBER

545
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,744
WHAT HE DID LAST NIGHT, MICHAEL

546
00:14:47,778 --> 00:14:48,018
KOSTA.

547
00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:52,793
MICHAEL, WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST

548
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:53,902
TAKEAWAY ABOUT 2020?

549
00:14:53,903 --> 00:14:56,441
MY BIGGEST "TAKEAWAY" FOR

550
00:14:56,442 --> 00:14:56,988
2020?

551
00:14:57,022 --> 00:15:00,650
MU BIGGEST TAKEAWAY IS WE SHOULD

552
00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,194
TAKE AWAY 2020.

553
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,334
THIS YEAR WAS A TOTAL BUST.

554
00:15:05,335 --> 00:15:07,562
WE GOT NOSTALGIC ABOUT GOING TO

555
00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:08,900
THE DENTIST.

556
00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:13,273
WE SHOULD TAKE 2020, PUT IT IN A

557
00:15:13,275 --> 00:15:13,441
DUMPER,

558
00:15:13,476 --> 00:15:14,575
LIGHT IT ON FIRE, AND WALK AWAY

559
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:15,245
WHILE IT EXPLODES BEHIND US.

560
00:15:15,279 --> 00:15:16,386
Trevor: YEAH, MICHAEL, I HEAR

561
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:16,685
YOU.

562
00:15:16,686 --> 00:15:18,247
BUT WE SHOULD TRY TO FIGURE OUT

563
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:19,840
WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM 2020.

564
00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:22,786
WE CAN’T JUST PRETEND IT NEVER

565
00:15:22,819 --> 00:15:23,781
HAPPENED, YOU KNOW.

566
00:15:23,782 --> 00:15:24,504
ACTUALLY, TREVOR, THAT’S

567
00:15:24,505 --> 00:15:25,134
EXACTLY WHAT WE SHOULD DO.

568
00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:25,565
Trevor: WHAT?

569
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:26,101
WE SHOULD PRETEND 2020 NEVER

570
00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:26,963
HAPPENED?

571
00:15:26,998 --> 00:15:28,449
YEAH!

572
00:15:28,451 --> 00:15:31,807
LET’S ALL AGREE, RIGHT HERE AND

573
00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:34,922
NOW, AS A PLANET, THAT 2020 DID

574
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:36,662
NOT HAPPEN.

575
00:15:36,663 --> 00:15:39,302
NOTHING HAPPENED IN 2020 COUNTS.

576
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:42,893
NOTHING DURING 2020 IS

577
00:15:42,927 --> 00:15:43,255
IMPORTANT.

578
00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:44,628
WE JUST SKIPPED OVER THE WHOLE

579
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:44,833
YEAR.

580
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:45,506
WE’RE TAKING A BIG, COLLECTIVE

581
00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:45,759
MULLIGAN.

582
00:15:45,793 --> 00:15:48,985
CONTROL-ALT DELETE.

583
00:15:48,987 --> 00:15:49,763
FORCE QUIT.

584
00:15:49,798 --> 00:15:51,177
DROP 2020 OFF AT THE MALL, TELL

585
00:15:51,178 --> 00:15:52,091
IT YOU’LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR,

586
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:52,725
AND MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE.

587
00:15:52,726 --> 00:15:53,426
Trevor: KOSTA, WE CAN’T SKIP

588
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:54,273
2020.

589
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,194
HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?

590
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:58,342
DUHHH, IT’S PRETTY SIMPLE,

591
00:15:58,343 --> 00:15:58,886
TREVOR.

592
00:15:58,888 --> 00:16:04,565
IF YOU LOST YOUR JOB IN 2020,

593
00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:07,493
YOU GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.

594
00:16:07,494 --> 00:16:09,563
IF YOU GOT EVICTED IN 2020, YOU

595
00:16:09,564 --> 00:16:13,070
WALK BACK INTO YOUR APARTMENT

596
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:14,735
AND IT’S YOURS AGAIN.

597
00:16:14,769 --> 00:16:16,340
IF YOU GOT DIVORCED IN 2020,

598
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,527
YOU’RE NOW MARRIED.

599
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,268
IF YOU DONATED A KIDNEY, YOU GO

600
00:16:20,302 --> 00:16:22,060
BACK AND GET THAT KIDNEY.

601
00:16:22,095 --> 00:16:24,091
IF YOU ADOPTED A DOG, YOU GO

602
00:16:24,093 --> 00:16:28,236
BACK AND GET THAT DOG.

603
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:31,363
IF YOU GOT AS I REMEMBERRUM

604
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:31,570
SIZED--

605
00:16:31,605 --> 00:16:32,385
Trevor: KOSTA, WE GET IT!

606
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:32,967
BUT THAT DOESN’T WORK FOR

607
00:16:32,968 --> 00:16:33,153
EVERYTHING.

608
00:16:33,154 --> 00:16:33,752
LIKE, WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?

609
00:16:33,753 --> 00:16:34,274
EVERYONE JUST REPEATS A GRADE

610
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:34,975
AGAIN?

611
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:37,434
YEAH, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

612
00:16:37,469 --> 00:16:39,508
THE ONLY EDUCATION CHILDREN GOT

613
00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:41,637
THIS YEAR WAS SEEING A TEACHER’S

614
00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:45,209
SALARY CAN ONLY AFFORD YOU A

615
00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,402
STUDIO APARTMENT.

616
00:16:46,436 --> 00:16:48,638
LOOK AT ME, I REPEATED GRADE

617
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:51,278
AFTER GRADE AND I’M AS SMART AS

618
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:52,395
I EVER DID.

619
00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:53,706
Trevor: this is all masked

620
00:16:53,707 --> 00:16:54,209
delusion.

621
00:16:54,210 --> 00:16:56,214
ABSOLUTELY, BUT WE’RE

622
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,824
DELUDING OURSELVES TOGETHER, AND

623
00:16:57,858 --> 00:17:01,689
IF EVERYONE IS DELUSIONAL, THEN

624
00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:04,170
NOW ONE IS LUSIONAL, OKAY.

625
00:17:04,204 --> 00:17:06,634
WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME.

626
00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:08,026
TECHNICALLY, MY UNCLE IS AN

627
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,005
ALCOHOLIC BUT WE AS A FAMILY

628
00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:11,730
HAVE DECIDED TOGETHER HE’S NOT.

629
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,458
SO NOW SHE’S JUST A CARE-FREE

630
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:14,586
GUY WHO LIKES TO VOMIT ON THE

631
00:17:14,587 --> 00:17:14,991
DOG.

632
00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:17,052
Trevor: but reality still

633
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,323
happened, my friend.

634
00:17:18,325 --> 00:17:19,801
YOUR BODY STILL CHANGED.

635
00:17:19,835 --> 00:17:21,610
WE ALL STILL AGED.

636
00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,210
WE ALL ALREADY DON’T COUNT

637
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:24,636
REALITY ALL THE TIME.

638
00:17:24,671 --> 00:17:26,445
WE HAVE TO DO IT NOW ON A FASTER

639
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:26,745
TIMELINE.

640
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,328
DO ANY OF US REMEMBER THE

641
00:17:29,363 --> 00:17:30,708
PANDEMIC OF 1918?

642
00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:32,723
OF COURSE NOT, IF WE DID WE

643
00:17:32,757 --> 00:17:34,298
WOULDN’T HAVE MADE ALL THE SAME

644
00:17:34,332 --> 00:17:35,909
MISTAKES AGAIN THIS TIME AROUND.

645
00:17:35,911 --> 00:17:37,837
SO INSTEAD OF BEING SAD AND

646
00:17:37,871 --> 00:17:39,058
MISERABLE, LIKE AMERICANS WERE

647
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,814
IN 1919, WE JUST NEED TO JUMP

648
00:17:41,849 --> 00:17:43,101
AHEAD 100 YEARS TO WHEN THEY

649
00:17:43,135 --> 00:17:45,554
FORGOT ABOUT IT ALL.

650
00:17:45,588 --> 00:17:47,849
Trevor: I feel like I just

651
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:49,683
got dumber listening to that.

652
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,988
CAN DO IT OVER: AS LONG AS I

653
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,868
GET IN THESE MISTAKES BEFORE

654
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,496
DECEMBER 31, THEY WON’T COUNT.

655
00:17:56,498 --> 00:17:58,283
NOW, TREVOR, IF YOU’LL EXCUSE

656
00:17:58,284 --> 00:18:00,099
ME, I HAVE TO GO GET A KIDNEY

657
00:18:00,101 --> 00:18:00,351
BACK.

658
00:18:00,352 --> 00:18:01,821
Trevor: Mikey, you can’t

659
00:18:01,822 --> 00:18:02,750
do that.

660
00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:03,206
MICHAEL!

661
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:08,737
THE KIDNEY IS THEIRS!

662
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:10,698
THAT’S A CRIME.

663
00:18:10,732 --> 00:18:13,331
DON’T FORGET MICHAEL KOSTA HAS A

664
00:18:13,365 --> 00:18:14,745
BRAND-NEW SPECIAL RIGHT HERE ON

665
00:18:14,746 --> 00:18:15,241
COMEDY CENTRAL.

666
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:16,823
IT’S CALLED "DETROIT. NEW YORK.

667
00:18:16,824 --> 00:18:18,066
L.A.," AND IT IS HILARIOUS.

668
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,444
BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT.

669
00:18:19,445 --> 00:18:21,082
WHEN WE COME BACK, DESI LYDIC

670
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:22,923
GOES THROUGH ALL THE WAYS THAT

671
00:18:22,957 --> 00:18:24,061
2020 TURNED US ON.

672
00:18:24,095 --> 00:18:25,539
AND GEORGE WALLACE, THE LEGEND,

673
00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:27,974
IS JOINING US ON THE SHOW.
SO DON’T GO AWAY.

674
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,440
Trevor: WELCOME BACK TO "THE

675
00:18:33,474 --> 00:18:35,824
DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW."

676
00:18:35,825 --> 00:18:37,597
2020 IS ALMOST OVER, AND I THINK

677
00:18:37,598 --> 00:18:38,614
WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT IT HAS

678
00:18:38,615 --> 00:18:39,229
BEEN THE BEST YEAR IN HUMAN

679
00:18:39,264 --> 00:18:39,436
HISTORY.

680
00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:40,451
EVERYTHING WENT PERFECT, AND

681
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:41,295
NOTHING WENT WRONG AT ALL!

682
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:42,345
AND FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH,

683
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:44,687
WE’LL BE REMEMBERING ALL OF

684
00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:45,989
2020’S BEST MOMENTS.

685
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:50,094
TODAY, DESI LYDIC LOOKS BACK ON
WHAT MADE 2020 SO DAMN SEXY.

686
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,697
WHAT MADE 2020 SO DAMN SEXY.

687
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,300
♪ ♪ ♪

688
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:58,775
FOR MANY PEOPLE, 2020 WAS THE

689
00:18:58,776 --> 00:19:00,408
MOST CHALLENGING YEAR OF THEIR

690
00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:00,875
LIVES.

691
00:19:00,876 --> 00:19:03,460
IT BROUGHT OUT A WHOLE NEW RANGE

692
00:19:03,495 --> 00:19:06,159
OF EXPERIENCES AND EMOTIONS.

693
00:19:06,193 --> 00:19:08,541
PEOPLE WERE SCARED, THEY WERE

694
00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:10,470
SAD, THEY WERE SCAD.

695
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,625
THAT’S WHEN YOU’RE SO SAD IS

696
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:16,381
SCARES YOU.

697
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,186
( SOBBING )

698
00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:20,795
BEING STUCK AT HOME MOST OF THE

699
00:19:20,829 --> 00:19:22,050
YEAR HAD ANOTHER, EVEN STRONGER

700
00:19:22,052 --> 00:19:22,765
EFFECT ON PEOPLE.

701
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,257
THEY WERE HORNY AS HELL.

702
00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:27,774
IN MARCH, HORNPUB HAD A

703
00:19:27,776 --> 00:19:30,138
HISTORIC SPIKE IN TRAFFIC AND A

704
00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:32,226
SITE THAT ALLOWS SUBSCRIBERS TO

705
00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:34,079
MESSAGE AND PAY THEIR FAVORITE

706
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,828
PERMANENTERS IS GETTING AROUND

707
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,712
200,000 NEW USERS PER DAY.

708
00:19:37,746 --> 00:19:39,600
THAT’S RIGHT.

709
00:19:39,601 --> 00:19:41,467
NOTTEN WAS BAKING BREAD DURING

710
00:19:41,501 --> 00:19:42,274
THE PANDEMIC.

711
00:19:42,308 --> 00:19:43,477
SHOULD PEOPLE WERE KNEADING

712
00:19:43,478 --> 00:19:45,064
THEIR OWN DOUGH.

713
00:19:45,065 --> 00:19:48,422
SOME WERE SO THIRSTY FOR ONLINE

714
00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:50,518
PORN EVEN YOUR GRANDMA MEMORIZED

715
00:19:50,519 --> 00:19:53,385
THE WIFI PASS WORD.

716
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,934
YOU CAN ONLY WATCH SO MANY

717
00:19:55,968 --> 00:19:57,769
PIZZAS BEING DELIVERED BY THE

718
00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:58,834
POOL BOY.

719
00:19:58,836 --> 00:20:01,926
SOME PEOPLE WERE SO HORNY THEY

720
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,777
CROSSED A FORBIDDEN LINE.

721
00:20:04,779 --> 00:20:07,749
MATCH.COM PUT OUT A SINGLE IN

722
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:08,845
AMERICA SURVEY.

723
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,677
ONE TOWARDS FOUR AMERICANS

724
00:20:10,679 --> 00:20:12,049
TURNED TOWARDS THEIR ROOMMATE

725
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:13,245
FOR INTIMACY AND SEX DURING THE

726
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:13,654
PANDEMIC.

727
00:20:13,655 --> 00:20:15,852
WOW, THOSE PEOPLE MUST HAVE

728
00:20:15,886 --> 00:20:17,562
BEEN REALLY LONELY, NOT BECAUSE

729
00:20:17,596 --> 00:20:19,152
THEY WERE BONING THEIR ROOMMATE

730
00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:20,870
BECAUSE OF BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE

731
00:20:20,872 --> 00:20:21,946
FILLING OUT A SURVEY ON

732
00:20:21,947 --> 00:20:22,286
MATCH.COM.

733
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,422
I DON’T CARE HOW DESPERATE I GET

734
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,642
I WILL NEVER STOOP THAT LOW TO

735
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,631
SLEEP WITH MY ROOMMATE, EVEN IF

736
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:29,874
HE IS MY HUSBAND.

737
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,427
THANKFULLY, NOT EVERYONE HOOKED

738
00:20:31,428 --> 00:20:32,916
UP WITH THEIR ROOMMATES THIS

739
00:20:32,951 --> 00:20:33,266
YEAR.

740
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:34,133
SOMEWHERE FANTASIZING ABOUT A

741
00:20:34,134 --> 00:20:34,696
DIFFERENT RESIDENT IN THEIR

742
00:20:34,697 --> 00:20:35,114
HOME.

743
00:20:35,115 --> 00:20:37,638
THE SINGLE FOLKS OUT THERE

744
00:20:37,673 --> 00:20:38,916
HAVEN’T BEEN DATING BECAUSE OF

745
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:39,852
LOCKDOWN RESTRICTIONS.

746
00:20:39,853 --> 00:20:43,231
THEY HAVE BEEN TURNING TO DATING

747
00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:44,635
APPS, ZOOM MEETINGS.

748
00:20:44,669 --> 00:20:47,467
BUT BUT ABOUT 28% OF YOU GUYS

749
00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,329
HAVE BEEN GETTING TURNED ON BY

750
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:50,124
ALEXA.

751
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,244
LIKE, "HEY, ALEXA."

752
00:20:51,245 --> 00:20:52,129
THAT ALEXA.

753
00:20:52,164 --> 00:20:52,978
NO JUDGMENT.

754
00:20:53,012 --> 00:20:55,250
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH

755
00:20:55,251 --> 00:20:57,621
FINDING VOICES SEXY.

756
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,777
MY FIRST BOYFRIEND WAS A

757
00:20:59,811 --> 00:21:00,306
SPEAK-AND-SPELL.

758
00:21:00,307 --> 00:21:01,895
BUT I DON’T KNOW, THE ALEXA

759
00:21:01,897 --> 00:21:02,734
THING?

760
00:21:02,735 --> 00:21:05,204
I DON’T REALLY GET IT.

761
00:21:05,205 --> 00:21:07,867
SIRI, DEFINITELY.

762
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:11,137
SHE’S GOT THAT SUPER-HOT VOICE.

763
00:21:11,171 --> 00:21:12,957
"SORRY, I DIDN’T QUITE GET

764
00:21:12,991 --> 00:21:13,331
THAT."

765
00:21:13,332 --> 00:21:14,944
SHE CAN QUITE GET THAT ANY TIME

766
00:21:14,978 --> 00:21:16,414
SHE WANTS.

767
00:21:16,415 --> 00:21:18,346
I DON’T KNOW, ALEXA ALWAYS

768
00:21:18,347 --> 00:21:20,159
SOUNDS UPTIGHT LIKE SHE’S GOT

769
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,286
SAND STUCK IN HER LEATHER BOARD.

770
00:21:22,287 --> 00:21:24,585
I HEARD THAT YOU SKANK.

771
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,675
BETWEEN PORN USE AND SPANKING

772
00:21:26,709 --> 00:21:28,412
IT TO THE ROBOT WHO REORDERS

773
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,689
YOUR TOILET PAPER, PEOPLE MIGHT

774
00:21:29,691 --> 00:21:31,324
HAVE SPENT 2020 STUCK AT HOME,

775
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:32,310
BUT THEIR MINDS WERE IN THE

776
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:32,738
GUTTER.

777
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:34,637
AND YOU COULD SEE THE HORNINESS

778
00:21:34,638 --> 00:21:35,938
EVERYWHERE, EVEN IN PLACES YOU

779
00:21:35,939 --> 00:21:37,079
WOULDN’T EXPECT IT.

780
00:21:37,081 --> 00:21:39,175
LIKE THIS SUMMER WHEN MARTHA

781
00:21:39,177 --> 00:21:41,938
STEWART DROPPED ONE OF THE HOST

782
00:21:41,973 --> 00:21:44,249
THIRST TRAP OF ALL TIME, OR WHEN

783
00:21:44,284 --> 00:21:46,251
CHRIS EVANS GAVE US A PEEK AT

784
00:21:46,252 --> 00:21:47,589
HIS CAMERA ROLL.

785
00:21:47,623 --> 00:21:49,728
AT EASE, CAPTAIN.

786
00:21:49,762 --> 00:21:51,522
PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD, SIR.

787
00:21:51,523 --> 00:21:52,938
CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS CAPTAIN OF A

788
00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:53,568
BOAT, RIGHT?

789
00:21:53,602 --> 00:21:55,444
SOME PEOPLE GOT TOO HORNY THIS

790
00:21:55,479 --> 00:21:56,495
YEAR AND GAVE HORNINESS A BAD

791
00:21:56,496 --> 00:21:57,336
NAME.

792
00:21:57,370 --> 00:22:00,104
AN UNSETTLING INCIDENT

793
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:03,030
INVOLVING CNN’S CHIEF LEGAL

794
00:22:03,064 --> 00:22:05,402
ANNUALEST, NOW OFF THE AIR FOR

795
00:22:05,436 --> 00:22:07,821
ALLEGEDLY PLEASURING HIMSELF ON

796
00:22:07,855 --> 00:22:09,459
A ZOOM CALL.

797
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:11,749
JEFFREY TUBEIN WAS SUSPENDED BY

798
00:22:11,751 --> 00:22:13,093
THE MAGAZINE FOR MASTURBATING

799
00:22:13,094 --> 00:22:16,055
DURING THE CALL LAST WEEK WITH

800
00:22:16,090 --> 00:22:18,040
OTHER EMPLOYEES AND WNYC RADIO

801
00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:20,961
STAFF WATCHING.

802
00:22:20,995 --> 00:22:25,421
OOOH, JEFFREY TUBEIN OR

803
00:22:25,422 --> 00:22:26,285
JEFFREY PUBEIN.

804
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:28,340
WHEN YOU’RE ON A WORK ZOOM,

805
00:22:28,341 --> 00:22:29,902
THAT’S NOT TIME TO MASTURBATE.

806
00:22:29,904 --> 00:22:31,825
THAT’S TIME TO PAINT YOUR

807
00:22:31,826 --> 00:22:32,890
TOENAILS OR GET YOUR CHRISTMAS

808
00:22:32,924 --> 00:22:33,816
SHOPPING DONE ONLINE.

809
00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:34,914
YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT

810
00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:35,274
PROFESSIONAL.

811
00:22:35,275 --> 00:22:37,216
HE JUST HAD TO DO IT ON A WORK

812
00:22:37,217 --> 00:22:37,543
ZOOM?

813
00:22:37,544 --> 00:22:39,265
I CAN’T IMAGINE THAT HE COULDN’T

814
00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:40,768
FIGURE OUT A BETTER TIME TO

815
00:22:40,769 --> 00:22:42,903
SQUEEZE IN SQUEEZING IT OUT.

816
00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:44,794
THIS WAS THE YEAR OF EXTRA FREE

817
00:22:44,828 --> 00:22:45,487
TIME.

818
00:22:45,522 --> 00:22:47,931
I LEARNED TO PLAY THE GUITAR.

819
00:22:47,932 --> 00:22:49,228
I KNIT SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE I

820
00:22:49,229 --> 00:22:49,756
KNOW.

821
00:22:49,757 --> 00:22:53,159
I DID 600 PUZZLES, ONE FOR EVERY

822
00:22:53,193 --> 00:22:54,590
TIME I MASTURBATED-- WHICH,

823
00:22:54,591 --> 00:22:56,914
THERE WAS PLENTY OF TIME TO DO.

824
00:22:56,948 --> 00:22:58,867
BUT THANKFULLY, THE HORNIEST

825
00:22:58,868 --> 00:23:01,861
MOMENT OF THE YEAR WAS ONE WE

826
00:23:01,862 --> 00:23:04,375
WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS.

827
00:23:04,377 --> 00:23:07,896
♪ ♪ ♪

828
00:23:07,897 --> 00:23:09,927
THE WOP VIDEO.

829
00:23:09,928 --> 00:23:12,765
CARDI B, MUST HAVE KNOWN THAT

830
00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:14,341
HORNINESS WAS AT AN ALL-TIME

831
00:23:14,375 --> 00:23:15,745
HIGH BECAUSE THIS SONG HAD

832
00:23:15,746 --> 00:23:17,878
SOMETHING FOR HORNY CREATURES OF

833
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,927
ALL SPECIES-- MEN, WOMEN,

834
00:23:19,961 --> 00:23:21,694
SNAKES, TIGERS, LEOPARDS, AND

835
00:23:21,728 --> 00:23:22,576
FAKE BILLIONAIRES.

836
00:23:22,577 --> 00:23:24,764
MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT WAS A

837
00:23:24,765 --> 00:23:25,897
SYMBOL OF FEMALE SEXUAL

838
00:23:25,899 --> 00:23:26,292
EMPOWERMENT.

839
00:23:26,326 --> 00:23:29,081
JUST WATCHING THAT VIDEO IS THE

840
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,842
EQUIVALENT OF DOING 500 KEGELS.

841
00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:33,179
AND WE NEEDED THAT THIS YEAR.

842
00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:34,938
WE FELT SO HORNY AND HELPLESS,

843
00:23:34,972 --> 00:23:37,118
AND THEN THIS SONG CAME OUT AND

844
00:23:37,152 --> 00:23:39,019
TOLD WOMEN THAT IT’S OKAY THAT

845
00:23:39,021 --> 00:23:41,333
YOU HAD TO CHANGE YOUR BATTERIES

846
00:23:41,334 --> 00:23:42,585
OUT OF YOUR VIBRATOR TWICE THIS

847
00:23:42,586 --> 00:23:43,149
YEAR.

848
00:23:43,150 --> 00:23:44,721
IT’S OKAY THAT YOU’RE TAKING

849
00:23:44,722 --> 00:23:46,379
EXTRA-LONG MOMMY SHOWERS.

850
00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:48,858
IT’S OKAY THAT YOU’RE STARTING

851
00:23:48,859 --> 00:23:50,409
TO FIND OLAF FROM FROZEN

852
00:23:50,410 --> 00:23:50,692
ATTRACTIVE.

853
00:23:50,693 --> 00:23:52,082
YOU FOUND HIM ATTRACTIVE

854
00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:54,928
BEFORE THE PANDEMIC.

855
00:23:54,929 --> 00:23:56,187
PANDEMIC.

856
00:23:56,189 --> 00:23:58,693
ALEXA, YOU SECRET-SPILLING

857
00:23:58,694 --> 00:23:59,171
BITCH!

858
00:23:59,173 --> 00:24:00,974
SO THAT’S THE YEAR IN HORNINESS.

859
00:24:00,975 --> 00:24:03,136
2020 HAS BEEN A CRAZY YEAR IN SO

860
00:24:03,137 --> 00:24:04,756
MANY WAYS, BUT HORNY MOMENTS

861
00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:06,085
GAVE US JUST A LITTLE BIT OF

862
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:06,492
ESCAPE.

863
00:24:06,494 --> 00:24:08,576
WE’LL NEVER FORGET ABOUT THE WAY

864
00:24:08,577 --> 00:24:11,750
IT MEADE US FEEL-- IN OUR

865
00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:14,088
HEARTS, IN OUR MINDS, AND IN OUR

866
00:24:14,089 --> 00:24:15,660
WET-ASS VAGINA.

867
00:24:15,661 --> 00:24:17,910
YOU RECEIVED A NOTIFICATION

868
00:24:17,944 --> 00:24:20,624
LADY LUBE IS OUT OF STOCK.

869
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:24,319
GODDAMN IT, ALEXA!

870
00:24:24,354 --> 00:24:25,918
I WILL UNPLUG YOU!

871
00:24:25,919 --> 00:24:26,790
Trevor: THANKS, DESI!

872
00:24:26,791 --> 00:24:27,506
ALL RIGHT, STICK AROUND, BECAUSE

873
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:28,181
WHEN WE COME BACK, THE GREAT

874
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,570
GEORGE WALLACE IS JOINING ME ON
THE SHOW.

875
00:24:31,419 --> 00:24:33,753
DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW."

876
00:24:33,755 --> 00:24:35,517
SO, EARLIER TODAY, I SPOKE WITH

877
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:36,337
THE LEGENDARY COMEDIAN GEORGE

878
00:24:36,338 --> 00:24:37,340
WALLACE.
WE TALKED ABOUT HIS REMARKABLE

879
00:24:37,374 --> 00:24:38,886
WE TALKED ABOUT HIS REMARKABLE

880
00:24:38,887 --> 00:24:42,749
CAREER, HOW HE’S BECOME A

881
00:24:42,784 --> 00:24:45,026
FAVORITE ON TWITTER, HIS

882
00:24:45,060 --> 00:24:47,288
BRAND-NEW BOOK, AND MUCH MORE.

883
00:24:47,322 --> 00:24:48,464
MR. GEORGE WALLACE, WELCOME TO

884
00:24:48,498 --> 00:24:49,514
THE "THE DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING

885
00:24:49,549 --> 00:24:50,049
SHOW."

886
00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:51,854
DR. GEORGE WALLACE, LET’S GET

887
00:24:51,856 --> 00:24:52,522
THAT CLEAR.

888
00:24:52,523 --> 00:24:53,824
DON’T YOU FEEL BETTER SINCE

889
00:24:53,858 --> 00:24:55,501
YOU’RE TALKING TO ME.

890
00:24:55,503 --> 00:24:57,064
Trevor: oh, no, I do

891
00:24:57,098 --> 00:24:57,389
already.

892
00:24:57,390 --> 00:24:58,493
DR. GEORGE WALLACE.

893
00:24:58,528 --> 00:24:59,578
I’LL TAKE IT.

894
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:01,899
I REMEMBER WHEN I-- WHEN YOU

895
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:03,722
FIRST START DOING STAND-UPS YOU

896
00:25:03,757 --> 00:25:05,014
HEAR THE BIGGEST NAMES, THE

897
00:25:05,015 --> 00:25:06,451
PIONEERS, THE PEOPLE WHO DID IT,

898
00:25:06,453 --> 00:25:07,362
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL DOING

899
00:25:07,363 --> 00:25:07,716
IT.

900
00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:10,215
FOR ME ONE OF THE NAMES THAT

901
00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:11,272
ALWAYS STUCK OUT WAS GEORGE

902
00:25:11,274 --> 00:25:11,850
WALLACE.

903
00:25:11,884 --> 00:25:14,347
YOU HAVE BEEN THE COMEDIAN’S

904
00:25:14,382 --> 00:25:16,492
COMEDIAN FOR SO MUCH TIME BUT

905
00:25:16,493 --> 00:25:18,608
YOU ALSO CRUSH IT WITH THE

906
00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:21,549
AUDIENCE, FROM THE DAYS OF JERRY

907
00:25:21,583 --> 00:25:23,845
SEINFELD IN THE CLUB, YOU WERE

908
00:25:23,846 --> 00:25:24,881
MR. GEORGE WALLACE, DR. GEORGE

909
00:25:24,916 --> 00:25:25,558
WALLACE.

910
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,315
IS IT A DOCTORATE IN COMEDY?

911
00:25:28,316 --> 00:25:30,489
WHAT IS IT A DOCTORATE IN?

912
00:25:30,490 --> 00:25:32,685
YOU GOT IT, MAN.

913
00:25:32,719 --> 00:25:33,674
DOCTOR OF COMEDY, GEORGE

914
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:34,348
WALLACE.

915
00:25:34,382 --> 00:25:36,444
WE STARTED OUT HITTING THE

916
00:25:36,478 --> 00:25:38,079
CLUBS, FOUR, FIVE CLUBS A NIGHT.

917
00:25:38,113 --> 00:25:39,915
DO YOU KNOW TO THIS DAY WE HAVE

918
00:25:39,917 --> 00:25:42,087
BEEN FRIEND FOR 45 YEARS TO THIS

919
00:25:42,088 --> 00:25:43,992
DAY IN NEW YORK CITY BEFORE THE

920
00:25:43,993 --> 00:25:45,204
PANDEMIC, WE STILL GO TO THE

921
00:25:45,205 --> 00:25:47,053
CLUBS, FOUR, FIVE CLUBS A NIGHT

922
00:25:47,054 --> 00:25:48,184
AND SHE TRY OUT THYSELF NEW

923
00:25:48,185 --> 00:25:48,541
JOKES.

924
00:25:48,543 --> 00:25:50,368
Trevor: there are a few

925
00:25:50,369 --> 00:25:52,134
comedians I know who love and

926
00:25:52,135 --> 00:25:53,405
perform stup comedy as much as

927
00:25:53,407 --> 00:25:54,162
you do.

928
00:25:54,163 --> 00:25:55,801
AND THEN THE PANDEMIC HIT, AND I

929
00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:56,876
WAS LIKE, WHERE IS GEORGE

930
00:25:56,877 --> 00:25:58,662
WALLACE AND WHAT IS HE DOING?

931
00:25:58,697 --> 00:26:01,060
SINCE MARCH 14, I SHUT DOWN

932
00:26:01,095 --> 00:26:05,323
MY TV SHOW AT NETFLIX, AND I

933
00:26:05,325 --> 00:26:06,679
CAME TO-- WIKONDA.

934
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:07,680
THAT’S ATLANTA.

935
00:26:07,682 --> 00:26:09,906
LISTEN TO ME, FIRST OF ALL, YOUR

936
00:26:09,907 --> 00:26:11,393
COUNTRY, I HAVE BEEN THERE.

937
00:26:11,394 --> 00:26:12,608
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY IN

938
00:26:12,609 --> 00:26:13,657
THE WORLD AND I LOVE IT.

939
00:26:13,692 --> 00:26:14,135
TABLE BAY.

940
00:26:14,170 --> 00:26:15,602
WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE BEACH I

941
00:26:15,603 --> 00:26:16,154
HANG OUT.

942
00:26:16,155 --> 00:26:17,624
IS IT CAMP’S BAY?

943
00:26:18,155 --> 00:26:19,748
Trevor: yes, yes, camp’s

944
00:26:19,782 --> 00:26:20,723
bay.

945
00:26:20,757 --> 00:26:23,792
KNOW YOU’RE FROM UP IN

946
00:26:23,793 --> 00:26:24,073
JOHANNESBURG.

947
00:26:24,107 --> 00:26:25,619
I ENJOYED YOUR COUNTRY SO MUCH,

948
00:26:25,654 --> 00:26:28,007
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IN MY

949
00:26:28,008 --> 00:26:29,045
COUNTRY NOW-- I’M IN ATLANTA

950
00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:29,835
RIGHT NOW.

951
00:26:29,869 --> 00:26:30,993
YOU HAVE BEEN TO ATLANTA?

952
00:26:30,994 --> 00:26:32,042
Trevor: of course I’ve

953
00:26:32,043 --> 00:26:33,139
been to Atlanta.

954
00:26:33,173 --> 00:26:35,884
TELL THE TRUTH, WHEN YOU GOT

955
00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:37,579
OFF THE AIRPLANE DID YOU SAY,

956
00:26:37,581 --> 00:26:38,373
"HOLY SHIT!

957
00:26:38,374 --> 00:26:40,017
YOU NEVER SAW SO MANY BLACK

958
00:26:40,018 --> 00:26:40,973
PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

959
00:26:41,008 --> 00:26:41,875
HEY, HEY --

960
00:26:41,877 --> 00:26:44,366
YOU KNOW WHAT I USED TO SAY?

961
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,614
YOU KNOW WHAT I USED TO SAY,

962
00:26:45,648 --> 00:26:46,053
GEORGE.

963
00:26:46,054 --> 00:26:47,881
YOU’RE IN ATLANTA AND YOU GO,

964
00:26:47,882 --> 00:26:48,761
"WHAT THE HELL!

965
00:26:48,762 --> 00:26:50,997
AND YOU KNOW THE STORY ON

966
00:26:50,998 --> 00:26:53,659
ATLANTA BEING THE- MAKING

967
00:26:53,693 --> 00:26:55,815
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, LIKE "THE

968
00:26:55,850 --> 00:26:57,277
BLACK PANTHER" THEY WANTED TO

969
00:26:57,278 --> 00:26:58,863
MAKE IT IN AFRICA.

970
00:26:58,865 --> 00:27:00,676
THEY WENT TO AFRICA TO MAKE THE

971
00:27:00,677 --> 00:27:02,307
MOVIE, BUT WHEN THEY WENT OVER

972
00:27:02,308 --> 00:27:03,953
THERE, THEY DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH

973
00:27:03,987 --> 00:27:05,395
BLACK PEOPLE.

974
00:27:05,429 --> 00:27:07,652
SO THEY CALLED DELTA AND FLEW

975
00:27:07,686 --> 00:27:09,116
THEM RIGHT BACK TO ATLANTA.

976
00:27:09,117 --> 00:27:10,111
THERE ARE SO MANY BLACK PEOPLE

977
00:27:10,113 --> 00:27:10,530
HERE.

978
00:27:10,531 --> 00:27:13,380
I JUST WANTED TO BRING THAT UP.

979
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:14,883
YES, WHAT AM I DOING?

980
00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:15,903
I’M STILL WRITING JOKES AND

981
00:27:15,904 --> 00:27:16,654
HAVING FUN.

982
00:27:16,655 --> 00:27:18,555
I KEEP MY LEGAL PAD WITH ME.

983
00:27:18,557 --> 00:27:20,737
I CONTINUE TO WRITE NEW JOKES

984
00:27:20,770 --> 00:27:21,434
EVERY DAY.

985
00:27:21,436 --> 00:27:22,668
AND THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING.

986
00:27:22,669 --> 00:27:24,407
Trevor: how do you-- how

987
00:27:24,441 --> 00:27:25,863
do you stay so relevant though?

988
00:27:25,864 --> 00:27:27,195
MY JOB IS TO KEEP UP WITH

989
00:27:27,196 --> 00:27:27,457
TIMES.

990
00:27:27,458 --> 00:27:29,273
AND I’M DEALING WITH THIS

991
00:27:29,275 --> 00:27:30,375
PANDEMIC NEAR ATLANTA FOR THE

992
00:27:30,409 --> 00:27:31,889
LAST FEW MONTHS.

993
00:27:31,923 --> 00:27:35,276
I’VE BEEN WRITING A BOOK.

994
00:27:35,277 --> 00:27:37,811
I WROTE A NEW BOOK CALLED

995
00:27:37,812 --> 00:27:38,949
"BULL-TWIT."

996
00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:41,445
THEY SAID WHY "BULL-TWIT."

997
00:27:41,446 --> 00:27:44,639
I SAID THEY WON’T BUY A BOOK

998
00:27:44,673 --> 00:27:45,852
THAT SAYS BULLSHIT.

999
00:27:45,886 --> 00:27:47,731
THESE ARE MY RAMBLINGS FOR SO

1000
00:27:47,732 --> 00:27:48,861
MANY YEARS, JUST STUPID STUFF

1001
00:27:48,863 --> 00:27:49,631
OFF MY HEAD.

1002
00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:51,871
I WAS WONDERING FOR YEARS BEFORE

1003
00:27:51,872 --> 00:27:53,662
I STARTED DOING TWITTER WHY

1004
00:27:53,697 --> 00:27:55,041
SHOULD I GIVE AWAY MY JOKES FOR

1005
00:27:55,042 --> 00:27:55,241
FREE?

1006
00:27:55,242 --> 00:27:56,025
Trevor: right.

1007
00:27:56,059 --> 00:27:58,121
I SAID, YOU KNOW, WHAT?

1008
00:27:58,156 --> 00:27:59,948
IF I DO THIS, IT’S NOT REAL

1009
00:27:59,982 --> 00:28:00,333
JOKES.

1010
00:28:00,334 --> 00:28:01,422
IT’S JUST LITTLE THOUGHTS FROM

1011
00:28:01,456 --> 00:28:02,644
THE MIND.

1012
00:28:02,679 --> 00:28:05,901
AND IF I DO THIS, THE WHOLE

1013
00:28:05,902 --> 00:28:07,162
WORLD GETS TO SEE ME.

1014
00:28:07,164 --> 00:28:08,240
OTHERWISE, THEY HAVE TO COME TO

1015
00:28:08,242 --> 00:28:09,009
LAS VEGAS.

1016
00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:10,421
BUT RIGHT NOW, I’M GLAD I DID

1017
00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:10,955
IT.

1018
00:28:10,957 --> 00:28:12,747
NOW WE’VE GOT ALMOST ONE MILLION

1019
00:28:12,780 --> 00:28:14,111
FOLLOWERS, AND EVERY DAY WE GET

1020
00:28:14,145 --> 00:28:15,191
TO CHAT WITH PEOPLE AND LAUGH

1021
00:28:15,225 --> 00:28:16,043
AND HAVE FUN.

1022
00:28:16,077 --> 00:28:18,517
Trevor: I feel like that’s

1023
00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:19,531
what makes you fresh.

1024
00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:20,768
THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU FUNNY.

1025
00:28:20,769 --> 00:28:22,728
YOU HAVE THE BOOK OF YOUR TWEETS

1026
00:28:22,729 --> 00:28:24,764
AND THE RANTS AND THE RAMBLINGS.

1027
00:28:24,799 --> 00:28:27,267
I FEEL LIKE IN MANY WAYS THAT’S

1028
00:28:27,302 --> 00:28:28,660
HOW YOU FORMULATE YOUR SHOW IN

1029
00:28:28,662 --> 00:28:29,340
VEGAS.

1030
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,768
YOU HAVE ONE OF THE LONGEST

1031
00:28:31,769 --> 00:28:33,149
RESIDENCY OF ALL TIME.

1032
00:28:33,184 --> 00:28:34,711
YOU ARE THE VEGAS GUY.

1033
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:37,090
WHY DO YOU LOVE VEGAS SO MUCH?

1034
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:38,774
TREVOR, I AM SO HAPPY TO LIVE

1035
00:28:38,775 --> 00:28:39,685
MY DREAM.

1036
00:28:39,686 --> 00:28:41,676
I NEVER WANTED TO DO TV.

1037
00:28:41,710 --> 00:28:43,112
I NEVER WANTED TO DO MOVIES.

1038
00:28:43,113 --> 00:28:45,271
WHEN I WAS A KID ALL I WANTED TO

1039
00:28:45,273 --> 00:28:46,548
DO WAS WORK LAS VEGAS, NEVADA.

1040
00:28:46,549 --> 00:28:47,461
ALL I WANT TO DO IS ENTERTAIN

1041
00:28:47,495 --> 00:28:48,111
PEOPLE.

1042
00:28:48,112 --> 00:28:50,364
YOU KNOW, IT’S NOT-- AND YOU’RE

1043
00:28:50,398 --> 00:28:52,672
TALKING TO, BY THE WAY, THE MOST

1044
00:28:52,707 --> 00:28:54,194
SUCCESSFUL COMEDIAN EVER, ME.

1045
00:28:54,195 --> 00:28:54,807
IT’S NOT--

1046
00:28:54,809 --> 00:28:55,738
( LAUGHING )

1047
00:28:55,772 --> 00:28:57,275
IT’S NOT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU

1048
00:28:57,276 --> 00:28:57,592
MAKE.

1049
00:28:57,593 --> 00:28:59,391
IT’S HOW YOU ENJOY YOUR LIFE --

1050
00:28:59,392 --> 00:29:00,638
YES, YES, YES.

1051
00:29:00,673 --> 00:29:02,294
AND I’M ENJOYING MY LIFE.

1052
00:29:02,295 --> 00:29:04,132
AND I WENT TO LAS VEGAS AND I’VE

1053
00:29:04,133 --> 00:29:05,105
BROKEN RECORDS THERE.

1054
00:29:05,106 --> 00:29:06,844
I’VE WORKED LONGER IN LAS VEGAS,

1055
00:29:06,845 --> 00:29:08,140
I’VE DONE MORE SHOWS THAN ANY

1056
00:29:08,142 --> 00:29:09,302
AFRICAN AMERICAN BECAUSE I WENT

1057
00:29:09,303 --> 00:29:10,791
TO LAS VEGAS, AND I DON’T WORK

1058
00:29:10,824 --> 00:29:12,108
FOR THE HOTELS.

1059
00:29:12,141 --> 00:29:14,650
I OWN MY SHOW.

1060
00:29:14,684 --> 00:29:16,171
I DO THE --

1061
00:29:16,173 --> 00:29:17,218
THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING

1062
00:29:17,219 --> 00:29:17,563
ABOUT.

1063
00:29:17,564 --> 00:29:18,736
I WRITE THE JOKES.

1064
00:29:18,771 --> 00:29:19,752
SO IT’S PRETTY-- AND I LOVE WHAT

1065
00:29:19,753 --> 00:29:20,402
I DO.

1066
00:29:20,436 --> 00:29:22,044
Trevor: as you said, you

1067
00:29:22,045 --> 00:29:24,124
are the longest African American

1068
00:29:24,158 --> 00:29:25,315
performer in Las Vegas in

1069
00:29:25,317 --> 00:29:25,556
history.

1070
00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:27,947
BUT THERE WAS A TIME WHEN YOU

1071
00:29:27,948 --> 00:29:29,000
WERE DOING COMEDY WHEN BLACK

1072
00:29:29,034 --> 00:29:29,632
PERFORMERS WEREN’T EVEN ALLOWED

1073
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:30,558
IN THE CLUB.

1074
00:29:30,592 --> 00:29:32,287
WHEN YOU HAD TO GO AND PERFORM

1075
00:29:32,322 --> 00:29:33,695
IN PLACES WHERE THEY WOULDN’T

1076
00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:35,304
EVEN WANT YOU TO PERFORM, BUT

1077
00:29:35,305 --> 00:29:38,035
YOU STILL FOUND THAT JOY AND YOU

1078
00:29:38,070 --> 00:29:39,949
HAD COMEDIANS RALLY AROUND YOU--

1079
00:29:39,950 --> 00:29:41,075
BLARK WHITE-- EVERYONE.

1080
00:29:41,109 --> 00:29:42,234
TALK ME THROUGH THAT.

1081
00:29:42,236 --> 00:29:44,463
WAS THERE NEVER A POINT IN THAT

1082
00:29:44,497 --> 00:29:46,839
PERIOD WHERE YOU THOUGHT MAYBE I

1083
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,552
SHOULD PIK ANOTHER CAREER?

1084
00:29:48,553 --> 00:29:49,707
MAYBE I SHOULD DO SOMETHING

1085
00:29:49,708 --> 00:29:50,507
ELSE?

1086
00:29:50,542 --> 00:29:51,869
HELL NO.

1087
00:29:51,871 --> 00:29:54,019
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT?

1088
00:29:54,054 --> 00:29:55,951
I GO OUT ON THAT STAGE EVERY

1089
00:29:55,952 --> 00:29:57,682
NIGHT AND I JUST LIE.

1090
00:29:57,717 --> 00:30:00,928
I JUST MAKE UP SHIT.

1091
00:30:00,962 --> 00:30:02,750
I JUST LIE.

1092
00:30:02,751 --> 00:30:05,376
I SAY JUST LET ME BE THE

1093
00:30:05,377 --> 00:30:06,808
GREATEST BULLSHITTER EVER.

1094
00:30:06,843 --> 00:30:09,152
BUT RIGHT NOW, TRUMP IS KICKING

1095
00:30:09,186 --> 00:30:10,115
MY ASS.

1096
00:30:10,116 --> 00:30:13,698
TREVOR, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,

1097
00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:17,067
WHEN I STARTED COMEDY BACK IN

1098
00:30:17,068 --> 00:30:18,835
1976, THERE WERE VERY FEW BLACK

1099
00:30:18,869 --> 00:30:19,491
COMEDIANS.

1100
00:30:19,492 --> 00:30:22,874
THERE WAS RED FOX AND THERE WAS

1101
00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:24,493
RICHARD PRYOR, OF COURSE, AND A

1102
00:30:24,494 --> 00:30:25,281
FEW OTHERS.

1103
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:27,100
AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THE

1104
00:30:27,134 --> 00:30:29,522
COMEDY, AND I SAID-- I NEVER

1105
00:30:29,557 --> 00:30:30,507
THOUGHT ABOUT DOING ANYTHING

1106
00:30:30,508 --> 00:30:31,318
ELSE, YOU KNOW.

1107
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,107
NOW, YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.

1108
00:30:34,109 --> 00:30:36,975
BEFORE I WAS A COMEDIAN I WAS--

1109
00:30:36,976 --> 00:30:38,964
1975, ALL OF THE BILLBOARDS, IN

1110
00:30:38,998 --> 00:30:40,326
TIMES SQUARE, ALL OF THOSE

1111
00:30:40,327 --> 00:30:41,528
ADVERTISING BOARDS, I WAS VICE

1112
00:30:41,529 --> 00:30:44,827
PRESIDENT OF THAT COMPANY.

1113
00:30:44,828 --> 00:30:47,851
SO I WAS MAKING IN ’76, MAKING

1114
00:30:47,852 --> 00:30:49,355
$75,000, $85,000 A YEAR.

1115
00:30:49,390 --> 00:30:50,665
Trevor: wow, are you being

1116
00:30:50,666 --> 00:30:51,521
serious right now?

1117
00:30:51,556 --> 00:30:51,993
YEAH.

1118
00:30:51,994 --> 00:30:53,793
THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO DO.

1119
00:30:53,794 --> 00:30:54,949
I WANTED TO TELL JOKES AND GO ON

1120
00:30:54,950 --> 00:30:55,534
STAGE.

1121
00:30:55,569 --> 00:30:57,739
I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.

1122
00:30:57,774 --> 00:31:00,043
THE MONEY WOULD COME AND THEN BE

1123
00:31:00,077 --> 00:31:01,755
ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO "THE

1124
00:31:01,756 --> 00:31:02,614
TONIGHT SHOW."

1125
00:31:02,615 --> 00:31:05,082
I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST BLACKS TO

1126
00:31:05,083 --> 00:31:06,208
DO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."

1127
00:31:06,209 --> 00:31:08,623
THE NEXT NIGHT I WAS ON STAGE IN

1128
00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:10,303
FRONT OF 17,000 PEOPLE.

1129
00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:12,509
THAT WAS BACK ON THE DAY WHEN

1130
00:31:12,510 --> 00:31:13,621
YOU DID "THE TONIGHT SHOW" THAT

1131
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:14,138
WAS IT.

1132
00:31:14,139 --> 00:31:16,148
AND I WANTED TO LEARN TO BECOME

1133
00:31:16,150 --> 00:31:18,052
A COMEDIAN AND OPENED FOR THE

1134
00:31:18,053 --> 00:31:19,046
LIKES OF NATALIE COLE, DIANA

1135
00:31:19,047 --> 00:31:19,591
ROSS.

1136
00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:21,471
I WORKED CAESAR’S PALACE.

1137
00:31:21,506 --> 00:31:23,225
I WANTED TO WORK EVERY KIND OF

1138
00:31:23,259 --> 00:31:23,482
STAGE.

1139
00:31:23,517 --> 00:31:25,282
Trevor: there used to be a

1140
00:31:25,316 --> 00:31:26,913
time when comedy and music, you

1141
00:31:26,947 --> 00:31:28,261
couldn’t separate them.

1142
00:31:28,262 --> 00:31:31,427
EVERY MUSICIAN IN THE COUNTRY

1143
00:31:31,428 --> 00:31:33,457
HAD A COMEDIAN OPENING UP THE

1144
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,107
SHOWS.

1145
00:31:34,108 --> 00:31:36,003
FIRST, DO YOU MISS THAT?

1146
00:31:36,004 --> 00:31:37,796
AND WHY DO YOU THINK IT STOPPED?

1147
00:31:37,798 --> 00:31:39,460
IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.

1148
00:31:39,494 --> 00:31:40,687
WE HAVE COMEDY CLUBS NOW.

1149
00:31:40,688 --> 00:31:42,706
SO BACK IN THE DAY, WHEN I WAS

1150
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:43,952
OPENING, YOU’RE RIGHT A COMEDIAN

1151
00:31:43,954 --> 00:31:45,317
WOULD OPEN FOR SINGERS.

1152
00:31:45,318 --> 00:31:46,710
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, I ENJOYED

1153
00:31:46,711 --> 00:31:48,105
WHAT I WAS DOING.

1154
00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:49,834
I STARTED -- MOST COMEDIANS GET

1155
00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:50,969
TO DO 20 MINUTES.

1156
00:31:51,004 --> 00:31:52,622
I NEVER HAD THAT OPPORTUNITY.

1157
00:31:52,657 --> 00:31:54,064
I WORKED-- I WORKED WITH DIANA

1158
00:31:54,065 --> 00:31:54,592
ROSS.

1159
00:31:54,593 --> 00:31:55,903
I STARTED 20 MINUTES.

1160
00:31:55,905 --> 00:31:58,481
SHE SAID TAKE IT TO 25, 30.

1161
00:31:58,515 --> 00:32:00,068
I WAS WITH TOM JONES FOR FIVE

1162
00:32:00,102 --> 00:32:01,517
AND A HALF YEARS.

1163
00:32:01,518 --> 00:32:02,860
HE MADE ME DO 45 MINUTE EVERY

1164
00:32:02,862 --> 00:32:03,059
NIGHT.

1165
00:32:03,061 --> 00:32:04,310
AND I LOVED IT.

1166
00:32:04,311 --> 00:32:07,371
AND THEN THEY-- THE MOST

1167
00:32:07,373 --> 00:32:08,985
DIFFICULT PART ABOUT OPENING,

1168
00:32:08,986 --> 00:32:13,407
LET’S SAY A GUY LIKE TOM JONES,

1169
00:32:13,408 --> 00:32:15,711
TO SING, 500 LADIES CAME EVERY

1170
00:32:15,712 --> 00:32:16,102
NIGHT.

1171
00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:18,217
HE SAID THAT’S NOT GOING TO BE

1172
00:32:18,219 --> 00:32:20,399
GOOD, MR. WALLACE, BECAUSE THE

1173
00:32:20,401 --> 00:32:22,984
SAME 500 LADIES WILL COME EVERY

1174
00:32:23,019 --> 00:32:24,597
NIGHT AND IT WILL BE EMPTY DOWN

1175
00:32:24,598 --> 00:32:25,011
FRONT.

1176
00:32:25,045 --> 00:32:27,014
FOR FIVE YEARS, EVERY NIGHT,

1177
00:32:27,048 --> 00:32:28,891
THOSE LADIES WERE AT MY SHOW,

1178
00:32:28,892 --> 00:32:29,954
THROWING UNDERWEAR AT ME.

1179
00:32:29,989 --> 00:32:31,876
THAT’S WHAT TAUGHT ME TO BE A

1180
00:32:31,877 --> 00:32:33,363
GREAT COMEDIAN AND LEARN TO DO A

1181
00:32:33,364 --> 00:32:34,659
DIFFERENT SHOW EVERY NIGHT.

1182
00:32:34,694 --> 00:32:35,970
I HAVE THE GREATEST JOB IN THE

1183
00:32:36,004 --> 00:32:36,663
WORLD, TREVOR.

1184
00:32:36,665 --> 00:32:37,484
AND I DO NOTHING.

1185
00:32:37,485 --> 00:32:38,830
I JUST LIE.

1186
00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,224
I MAKE UP SHIT.

1187
00:32:40,225 --> 00:32:41,816
Trevor: my friend, not

1188
00:32:41,817 --> 00:32:43,522
only are you one of the greatest

1189
00:32:43,523 --> 00:32:44,785
comedians for doing that, I

1190
00:32:44,819 --> 00:32:45,817
think you’re fully qualified to

1191
00:32:45,818 --> 00:32:46,499
be president of the United

1192
00:32:46,533 --> 00:32:46,796
States.

1193
00:32:46,830 --> 00:32:48,528
IF YOU EVER GET TIRED OF VEGAS,

1194
00:32:48,562 --> 00:32:49,812
YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN START

1195
00:32:49,813 --> 00:32:51,078
YOUR NEXT RESIDENCY IF YOU WANT

1196
00:32:51,079 --> 00:32:52,586
TO LIE ALL THE TIME.

1197
00:32:52,588 --> 00:32:53,957
OH, RIGHT THERE, 1600.

1198
00:32:53,958 --> 00:32:57,349
I COULD BE PRESIDENT TOMORROW.

1199
00:32:57,383 --> 00:33:00,345
YOU KNOW, THE FIRST LAW I WOULD

1200
00:33:00,380 --> 00:33:01,766
PASS, CHICK-FIL-A WILL BE OPEN

1201
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:02,524
ON SUNDAY.

1202
00:33:02,525 --> 00:33:04,075
I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THEY

1203
00:33:04,109 --> 00:33:04,519
SAY.

1204
00:33:04,553 --> 00:33:06,090
THAT’S THE FIRST LAW I WILL

1205
00:33:06,124 --> 00:33:06,437
PASS.

1206
00:33:06,438 --> 00:33:08,372
SECOND LAW-- SECOND LAW I’M

1207
00:33:08,407 --> 00:33:10,675
GOING TO PASS, STEVE HARVEY

1208
00:33:10,709 --> 00:33:11,937
AIN’T HOSTING SHIT NO MORE,

1209
00:33:11,938 --> 00:33:12,563
OKAY?

1210
00:33:12,564 --> 00:33:14,101
STEVE HARVEY-- LET ME --

1211
00:33:14,102 --> 00:33:15,315
OH, MAN.

1212
00:33:15,316 --> 00:33:17,230
BUT, LISTEN, LET ME-- LET ME

1213
00:33:17,265 --> 00:33:18,340
TELL YOU MORE ABOUT THIS BOOK

1214
00:33:18,375 --> 00:33:18,972
HERE.

1215
00:33:19,007 --> 00:33:21,023
THIS BOOK IS SOMETHING THAT MOST

1216
00:33:21,058 --> 00:33:22,614
PEOPLE SHOULD GET.

1217
00:33:22,615 --> 00:33:24,314
IT MAKES A GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT

1218
00:33:24,315 --> 00:33:25,578
UNDER YOUR TREE.

1219
00:33:25,579 --> 00:33:27,165
YOU KNOW THE PERSON THAT HAS

1220
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,751
EVERYTHING WHAT DO YOU GET THEM?

1221
00:33:28,785 --> 00:33:30,232
YOU GET THAM BOOK THAT KEEPS

1222
00:33:30,266 --> 00:33:31,064
THEM LAUGHING.

1223
00:33:31,099 --> 00:33:32,735
TREVOR, I DID NOT GO TO

1224
00:33:32,736 --> 00:33:33,981
Amazon.com BECAUSE THEY TAKE

1225
00:33:33,983 --> 00:33:36,204
HALF YOUR MONEY.

1226
00:33:36,205 --> 00:33:37,737
GUT GEORGEWALLACE.NET, GO ONLINE

1227
00:33:37,738 --> 00:33:39,550
AND GET THIS BOOK BECAUSE YOU

1228
00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:41,388
NEED LOFTENER YOUR LIFE.

1229
00:33:41,422 --> 00:33:42,830
AND YOU YOU WHEN STOP LAUGHING,

1230
00:33:42,831 --> 00:33:43,610
YOU STOP LIVING.

1231
00:33:43,644 --> 00:33:44,743
Trevor: that’s all you’ve

1232
00:33:44,744 --> 00:33:45,642
got to do my friend.

1233
00:33:45,676 --> 00:33:46,500
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE

1234
00:33:46,534 --> 00:33:46,921
TIME.

1235
00:33:46,956 --> 00:33:48,728
I HOPE TO MEET YOU OFFICIALLY IN

1236
00:33:48,762 --> 00:33:50,557
PERSON IN THE FLESH ONE DAY, BUT

1237
00:33:50,559 --> 00:33:51,635
UNTIL THEN, I’LL MAKE SURE

1238
00:33:51,637 --> 00:33:52,364
EVERYBODY GETS THE BOOK.

1239
00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:53,359
WE’RE GOING TO GET IT FROM THE

1240
00:33:53,361 --> 00:33:53,945
WEB SITE.

1241
00:33:53,946 --> 00:33:58,462
AND THE NEXT TIME WE MEET, WE

1242
00:33:58,463 --> 00:34:01,606
WILL CONTINUE TO TALK ABOUT

1243
00:34:01,607 --> 00:34:03,517
WOKANDA, AND CAPE TOWN, SOUTH

1244
00:34:03,551 --> 00:34:04,043
AFRICA.

1245
00:34:04,078 --> 00:34:07,087
THAT’S NICE OF YOU TO SAY YOU

1246
00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:09,317
WANT TO MEET ME IN FLESH.

1247
00:34:09,319 --> 00:34:10,717
HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO MEET

1248
00:34:10,751 --> 00:34:11,034
ME.

1249
00:34:11,068 --> 00:34:12,470
Trevor: now we meet like

1250
00:34:12,471 --> 00:34:12,758
this.

1251
00:34:12,793 --> 00:34:14,378
THIS IS HOW WE MEET NOW.

1252
00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:16,543
TREVOR, YOU HAVE TO KNOW I’M

1253
00:34:16,544 --> 00:34:18,259
AN ASSHOLE, SO I NEVER CLOSE THE

1254
00:34:18,293 --> 00:34:19,383
SHOW WITHOUT SAYING I LOVE YOU,

1255
00:34:19,384 --> 00:34:20,622
AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO

1256
00:34:20,623 --> 00:34:21,460
ABOUT IT.

1257
00:34:21,461 --> 00:34:22,845
Trevor: oh, man.

1258
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,528
GEORGE WALLACE, I’LL SEE YOU

1259
00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:25,265
AROUND MY FRIEND.

1260
00:34:25,267 --> 00:34:26,904
LOOK AROUND YOURSELF.

1261
00:34:26,938 --> 00:34:32,436
YOU HAVE A DEAL.

1262
00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:33,446
YOU, TOO.

1263
00:34:33,481 --> 00:34:34,802
Trevor: GEORGE’S NEW BOOK:

1264
00:34:34,836 --> 00:34:35,502
"BULL-TWIT AND WHATNOT" IS

1265
00:34:35,536 --> 00:34:36,016
AVAILABLE NOW.

1266
00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:36,190
OKAY.

1267
00:34:36,224 --> 00:34:37,572
WE’RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK

1268
00:34:37,574 --> 00:34:38,814
BREAK, BUT WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS.

1269
00:34:40,993 --> 00:34:41,376
TONIGHT.

1270
00:34:41,377 --> 00:34:43,547
BUT BEFORE WE GO:

1271
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:46,166
I WANTED TO REMIND YOU TO PLEASE

1272
00:34:46,168 --> 00:34:48,489
TRY SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL

1273
00:34:48,491 --> 00:34:49,592
RESTAURANTS IF YOU CAN.

1274
00:34:49,593 --> 00:34:50,599
THEY ARE STRUGGLING TO STAY OPEN

1275
00:34:50,601 --> 00:34:51,550
DURING THIS PANDEMIC, AND IF

1276
00:34:51,551 --> 00:34:52,310
THEY DON’T GET THE HELP THEY

1277
00:34:52,311 --> 00:34:54,933
NEED, THEY MIGHT NOT BE OPEN FOR

1278
00:34:54,934 --> 00:34:57,140
YOU WHEN THE PANDEMIC IS OVER.

1279
00:34:57,141 --> 00:35:01,185
IF YOU WANT TO HELP JUST BEYOND

1280
00:35:01,187 --> 00:35:01,976
ORDERING FOOD,

1281
00:35:01,977 --> 00:35:03,087
PLEASE CONSIDER A DONATION TO

1282
00:35:03,088 --> 00:35:03,751
THE JAMES BEARD FOUNDATION’S

1283
00:35:03,752 --> 00:35:05,456
"OPEN FOR GOOD" CAMPAIGN, WHICH

1284
00:35:05,457 --> 00:35:07,310
HELPS INDEPENDENT RESTAURANTS

1285
00:35:07,311 --> 00:35:08,364
SURVIVE THIS PANDEMIC.

1286
00:35:08,399 --> 00:35:09,302
UNTIL TOMORROW, STAY SAFE OUT

1287
00:35:09,304 --> 00:35:10,700
THERE, WEAR A MASK, AND

1288
00:35:10,735 --> 00:35:12,561
REMEMBER: IF YOU REALLY WANT TO

1289
00:35:12,562 --> 00:35:14,198
KEEP COVID AWAY FROM YOU, JUST

1290
00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:16,729
DECLARE YOURSELF AN AUTONOMOUS

1291
00:35:16,730 --> 00:35:17,946
ZONE.

1292
00:35:17,948 --> 00:35:23,118
IT WORKS EVERY TIME.
NOW, HERE IT IS,YOUR MOMENT OF

1293
00:35:23,119 --> 00:35:34,511
NOW, HERE IT IS,YOUR MOMENT OF

1294
00:35:34,513 --> 00:35:44,006
ZEN.
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