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{\an7}[theme music]
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{\an7}ANNOUNCER: From New York City,
\h\hthe only city in America,
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{\an7}it’s the show that
\h\hinvented news.
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{\an7}This is The Daily Show with
\h\hyour host, Roy Wood, Jr.
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{\an7}[cheering]
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{\an7}Welcome to The Daily Show.
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{\an7}I’m Roy Wood, Jr. Yes, indeed.
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{\an7}Now-- now-- thank you.
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{\an7}Now this is my third night
\hhosting The Daily Show.
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{\an7}["roy" chant]
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{\an7}Settle down, rioters.
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{\an7}It’s my third night hosting the
show, and it’s been a blast.
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{\an7}It’s been a blast.
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{\an7}\hNow, I know if you
tuned in last night,
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{\an7}you might have seen the home
\h\hboy Jon Stewart stop by.
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{\an7}And tonight, who knows?
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{\an7}Beyoncé?
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{\an7}[cheering]
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}You got to speak it to
an existence, manifest
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{\an7}it, and all that other shit.
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{\an7}\h\hBut we got a great
show for you tonight.
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{\an7}I’ll tell you who is definitely
here is the homie Cedric
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{\an7}the Entertainer.
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{\an7}So let’s get into
\h\hthe headlines.
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{\an7}[cheering]
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{\an7}Rapid.
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{\an7}All right.
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{\an7}Let’s kick things
off in Wisconsin.
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{\an7}I like Wisconsin.
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{\an7}Wisconsin in the building?
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{\an7}I like Wisconsin.
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{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hWisconsin--
Wisconsin-- only place
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{\an7}I’ve been to that sell
cheese as a souvenir.
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{\an7}I like that.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}\h\h\hYou want some cheese
before your flight, yeah?
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{\an7}\h\hCheese curds--
you give me cheese
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{\an7}curds, no wrapping, no nothing,
just butt naked in my hand.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}But last night Wisconsin
had a critical election
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{\an7}\h\h\hfor the state
supreme court, which
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{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hhas national
implications for 2024.
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{\an7}\h\h\hThey had a far-right
conservative versus a very
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{\an7}left-wing liberal.
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{\an7}\h\hAnd I don’t want
to presume anything
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{\an7}about the political beliefs
of the audience in the room
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{\an7}right now.
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{\an7}You know, I know
Daily Show fans
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{\an7}hold a wide variety of views.
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{\an7}Ah, who am I kidding?
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{\an7}\h\hY’all can go on
and start clapping.
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{\an7}Show them the clip.
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{\an7}\h\hREPORTER: And a
major political flip
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{\an7}in Wisconsin, Democrat-backed
\h\h\hJudge Janet Protasiewicz
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{\an7}\hhas won the state’s
widely-watched Supreme
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{\an7}Court race.
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{\an7}\h\hThe court will
now be controlled
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{\an7}\h\hby liberals for the
first time in 15 years.
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{\an7}REPORTER: Protasiewicz’s
\hconservative opponent,
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{\an7}\h\hDan Kelly, had harsh
words after the election
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{\an7}was called and criticized her,
\h\hcalling her a serial liar.
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{\an7}\h\h\hI wish that in a
circumstance like this
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{\an7}I would be able to concede
\h\hto a worthy opponent.
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{\an7}But I do not have
a worthy opponent
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{\an7}to which I can concede.
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{\an7}This was the most
deeply deceitful,
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{\an7}dishonorable, despicable
\h\h\h\hcampaign I have
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{\an7}ever seen run for the courts.
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{\an7}And I wish Wisconsin
\hthe best of luck.
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{\an7}Because I think it’s
\hgoing to need it.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}Aw, you seem very
sad about losing.
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{\an7}Would you like some cheese?
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}Now-- now, look, I
know people think
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{\an7}\hthat it’s classless
to concede like this.
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{\an7}But I’mma be straight
\h\h\h\hup with y’all.
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{\an7}Good for my man.
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{\an7}Dude just got his ass beat in
\hfront of the whole country,
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{\an7}and you want him
to be gracious?
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{\an7}Congratulations to my opponent,
who is clearly a winner,
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{\an7}\h\h\h\hunlike me, a
little bitch loser.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}\hLook, I say as long as
you accept the outcome,
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{\an7}you get to talk shit.
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{\an7}You let me spend millions
\h\h\h\hrunning for Judge,
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{\an7}and then I lose?
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{\an7}I run millions,
and I lose-- oh,
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{\an7}baby, I’m up on that podium
\h\hlike Samuel L. Jackson.
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{\an7}\h\hYes, they deserve to die,
and I hope they burn in hell!
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{\an7}[applause]
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{\an7}\hBut now let’s move
on to the big story,
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{\an7}the arrest of Donald J. Trump.
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{\an7}[cheering]
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{\an7}Oh, you heard about it.
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{\an7}Y’all heard about it?
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{\an7}\h\hOK, I thought it
was just a little--
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{\an7}\h\h\h\hyou know, little--
yesterday was a momentous
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{\an7}day for Donald J. Trump.
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{\an7}He was indicted for 34
\hcounts of falsifying
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{\an7}business records and also
\h\hone count of clogging
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{\an7}the courthouse toilet.
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{\an7}They added that one
at the last minute.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}\h\h\hSo old Trumpy went
down to the courthouse,
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{\an7}\h\hlooked around stupid
for a couple of minutes,
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{\an7}\h\hand then fled on his
private jet to Florida.
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{\an7}\hBecause, as you
all know, Florida
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{\an7}\hdoes not have an extradition
treaty with the United States.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}He rode up Mar-a-Lago, and then
he waved to his supporters,
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{\an7}and then offered to put
his thumb up they butt.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}What is this?
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{\an7}Seriously.
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{\an7}Who adds motion to a thumbs up?
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{\an7}It’s simple.
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{\an7}Just lock the elbow.
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{\an7}Trump got to be the first
person to add the jerkoff
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{\an7}motion to a thumbs up.
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{\an7}Thanks so much for coming out.
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{\an7}I really appreciate it.
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{\an7}[groans]
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{\an7}[applause]
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{\an7}\h\h\hSo then, after all of
that, it was time for Trump
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{\an7}to give his big speech.
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{\an7}\hAnd, sidebar, why are people
still going to Trump speeches?
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{\an7}Like, I get it.
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{\an7}I get it.
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{\an7}That’s your dude, but you
\hknow what he gonna say.
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{\an7}He say the same--
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{\an7}\hDonald Trump is a
comedian that ain’t
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{\an7}changed his act in years.
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{\an7}You know what he gonna do.
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{\an7}Liberal media be doing
this, and Joe Biden--
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{\an7}Joe Biden and them,
they be doing this!
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{\an7}Y’all know I ain’t lying.
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{\an7}Come on now, DJ.
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{\an7}Kick it.
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{\an7}The only--
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{\an7}[applause]
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{\an7}\h\h\hThe only thing-- the only
thing that changes year to year
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{\an7}with Trump is who is enemy is.
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{\an7}\hAnd for this fight,
he’s got two new ones.
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{\an7}REPORTER: In a defiant
speech at Mar-a-Lago,
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{\an7}the former president
\h\h\h\hclaimed he’s
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{\an7}a victim, and targeted
\h\h\h\hthe prosecutor
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{\an7}and judge in the case.
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{\an7}They can’t beat us
at the ballot box.
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{\an7}So they try and beat
us through the law.
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{\an7}The criminal is the
\hdistrict attorney.
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{\an7}I have a Trump-hating judge
\h\hwith a Trump-hating wife
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{\an7}and family.
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{\an7}\hWho-- who you
know go to trial
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{\an7}and talk shit about the judge?
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}That’s bold.
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{\an7}The judge could destroy you.
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{\an7}He could destroy you,
and you riling him up.
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{\an7}You about to fight
\h\hCocaine Bear.
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{\an7}You don’t offer
him crack first.
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{\an7}\hAnd he didn’t just
call out the judge.
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{\an7}Trump called out the kids.
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{\an7}You don’t pull the
\hkids into-- even
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{\an7}rappers don’t go
after the kids,
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{\an7}and they murder each other.
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{\an7}\hAnd Trump said the man
has a Trump-hating wife.
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{\an7}\hBut, to be fair-- to
be fair, I don’t even
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{\an7}know if that was an insult.
\h\h\h\hBecause Donald Trump
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{\an7}also has a Trump-hating wife.
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{\an7}[applause]
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{\an7}You can’t tell me Melania
\h\h\hdon’t hate that man.
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{\an7}\h\hIf anything, this
week was confirmation.
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{\an7}If you all think Trump--
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{\an7}let me ask you this then.
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{\an7}\h\hDuring Donald
Trump’s 45 minutes
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{\an7}as a political prisoner,
\h\hwhere was his wife?
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{\an7}REPORTER: So many people have
noticed the former first lady,
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{\an7}the former president’s
\hwife, Melania Trump,
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{\an7}was not in attendance
\h\h\h\h\hlast night.
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{\an7}REPORTER: His wife, former
First Lady Melania Trump,
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{\an7}she was not there.
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{\an7}\h\hREPORTER: Among the guests
were ardent Trump supporters,
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{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hincluding
Congresswoman Marjorie
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{\an7}Taylor Greene and the MyPillow
\h\h\h\hfounder, Mike Lindell.
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{\an7}One person noticeably absent
last night was former First
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{\an7}Lady Melania Trump.
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{\an7}\hEven the pillow salesman
showed up for the speech.
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{\an7}But his own wife
didn’t show up.
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{\an7}\h\hAnd the speech
was at the house.
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{\an7}Melania didn’t even
\h\hcome downstairs.
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{\an7}She just-- she opened
\hup the bedroom door.
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{\an7}(IMITATING MELANIA) Oh, you’re
\h\hback from prison already.
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{\an7}Oh.
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{\an7}Now, look, we’re making jokes.
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{\an7}We’re making jokes,
but there’s nothing
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{\an7}\h\h\hfunny about a former
first lady not showing up
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{\an7}to her husband’s speech
\hwhere he’s complaining
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{\an7}\h\habout getting
arrested for lying
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{\an7}about paying off a porn star.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}\h\h\hFrankly, I’m concerned
about Melania’s whereabouts.
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{\an7}So we launched a
search for her,
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{\an7}and that search is being headed
by our very own Dulcé Sloan.
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{\an7}Dulcé.
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{\an7}[cheering]
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{\an7}Dulcé.
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{\an7}Now, Dulcé, you’re in Florida.
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{\an7}You’re in Florida, Dulcé.
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{\an7}Hello, poor people.
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{\an7}[laughter]
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{\an7}Yes, we are very poor, Dulcé.
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{\an7}Vacation!
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{\an7}Now--
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{\an7}I mean, working!
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{\an7}\h\h\h\hYou’re down
there on the coast.
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{\an7}\hAre there any signs
of Melania down there?
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{\an7}Oh, not yet.
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{\an7}\hYou know, I’ve been looking
for her at the beach all day.
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{\an7}And after this, I’m going
to look for her at brunch.
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{\an7}And then I might
go look for her
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00:09:11,495 --> 00:09:13,330
{\an7}at the front row of
\ha Magic Mike show.
224
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:15,561
{\an7}You know, I’m vigilant.
225
00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:17,330
{\an7}You know, vigilante out here.
226
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:17,792
{\an7}Yeah.
227
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,429
{\an7}Ain’t the Magic Mike
\hshow in Las Vegas?
228
00:09:19,429 --> 00:09:21,693
{\an7}I think you’re taking advantage
of the corporate expense
229
00:09:21,693 --> 00:09:22,792
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\haccount.
We’ll talk about that later.
230
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:26,231
{\an7}\h\hBut, first, let’s just--
while I got you, let’s just
231
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,066
{\an7}talk about this whole thing.
232
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,825
{\an7}Don’t you think that Melania
\hshould leave Donald Trump?
233
00:09:29,825 --> 00:09:33,825
{\an7}I mean, the man was paying
hush money to porn stars.
234
00:09:33,825 --> 00:09:36,891
{\an7}Roy, Roy, Roy.
235
00:09:36,891 --> 00:09:40,594
{\an7}You don’t understand, son.
236
00:09:40,594 --> 00:09:44,891
{\an7}The hush money was for Melania.
237
00:09:44,891 --> 00:09:47,099
{\an7}She’s the reason he
\hdidn’t want people
238
00:09:47,099 --> 00:09:48,396
{\an7}to know about Stormy Daniels.
239
00:09:48,396 --> 00:09:51,528
{\an7}\hShit, if he wasn’t married,
his campaign slogan would have
240
00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:53,099
{\an7}been, I [bleep] porn stars.
241
00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:54,693
{\an7}Bah, bah, bah, bah!
242
00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:57,132
{\an7}[laughter]
243
00:09:57,132 --> 00:09:58,759
{\an7}ROY WOOD JR: OK.
244
00:09:58,759 --> 00:09:59,660
{\an7}OK.
245
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:03,495
{\an7}[applause]
246
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:11,528
{\an7}\h\h\hBut for Melania, he
paid a porn star $130,000.
247
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,594
{\an7}Oh!
248
00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:16,462
{\an7}To know a love like that, oh.
249
00:10:16,462 --> 00:10:16,891
{\an7}OK.
250
00:10:16,891 --> 00:10:19,561
{\an7}\h\hYou know, I mean, it’s
kind of romantic for a man
251
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:21,858
{\an7}to just break bread
\hlike that for you.
252
00:10:21,858 --> 00:10:22,726
{\an7}OK, OK I got you.
253
00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:26,000
{\an7}So then you think Melania
\hshould stay with Donald.
254
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,033
{\an7}[bleep] no.
255
00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,495
{\an7}[laughter]
256
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,330
{\an7}He cheated on her
with a porn star.
257
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:30,924
{\an7}Come on.
258
00:10:30,924 --> 00:10:32,528
{\an7}I’ve dumped men for a lot less.
259
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:34,759
{\an7}I broke up with a guy
\hlast week because he
260
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,297
{\an7}left me a voicemail.
261
00:10:36,297 --> 00:10:38,198
{\an7}[laughter]
262
00:10:38,198 --> 00:10:38,759
{\an7}A voicemail?
263
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:41,132
{\an7}Sir, what year do
you think this is?
264
00:10:41,132 --> 00:10:45,660
{\an7}\h\hJust leave a comment on my
TikTok like an adult, grandpa.
265
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,264
{\an7}OK.
266
00:10:46,264 --> 00:10:47,297
{\an7}So I see what you’re saying.
267
00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,000
{\an7}\hSo then you think
Melania should have
268
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,165
{\an7}dumped Trump back in 2016.
269
00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:52,066
{\an7}Got you.
270
00:10:52,066 --> 00:10:52,627
{\an7}Oh, hell no.
271
00:10:52,627 --> 00:10:56,033
{\an7}Listen, Uncle Roy,
are you listening?
272
00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:58,033
{\an7}Why would she dump
\hhim when he just
273
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:01,033
{\an7}got elected el presidente?
274
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:01,627
{\an7}You cheat on me.
275
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,924
{\an7}\h\hYou think I’mma let some
porn star be the first lady.
276
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,099
{\an7}With the hell?
277
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,000
{\an7}No!
278
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,825
{\an7}[laughter]
279
00:11:06,825 --> 00:11:10,165
{\an7}No, bitch, I’m getting
\h\h\ha portrait, OK?
280
00:11:10,165 --> 00:11:13,066
{\an7}\h\hA real one with
paint and shit, OK?
281
00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:17,693
{\an7}[cheering]
282
00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:19,726
{\an7}ROY WOOD JR: OK, OK.
283
00:11:19,726 --> 00:11:21,198
{\an7}\hI’m talking about
a canvas, the easel,
284
00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:24,033
{\an7}\hand we gonna sit there for
seven hours and look happy,
285
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,033
{\an7}damn it.
\h- OK.
286
00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,099
{\an7}You’re going every
\hwhich way then.
287
00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:28,660
{\an7}Dulcé, just tell me, what the
\hhell should Melania do then?
288
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:30,693
{\an7}She should be doing
what she been doing.
289
00:11:30,693 --> 00:11:32,429
{\an7}Take advantage of Trump
\h\hwhen he’s president.
290
00:11:32,429 --> 00:11:35,264
{\an7}\h\hAnd when he’s not, let
his ass twist in the wind
291
00:11:35,264 --> 00:11:37,297
{\an7}\h\hwhile you at home
watching Martin reruns
292
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,858
{\an7}and banging his pool boys.
293
00:11:38,858 --> 00:11:45,165
{\an7}[cheering]
294
00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:46,330
{\an7}OK.
295
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:50,000
{\an7}\hI mean, she’s doing it
at Mar-a-Lago right now.
296
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:50,660
{\an7}Wait.
297
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,528
{\an7}So you know where she is.
298
00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:52,726
{\an7}\h\hWell, then why
are you running up
299
00:11:52,726 --> 00:11:54,462
{\an7}an expense account on my week?
300
00:11:54,462 --> 00:11:56,858
{\an7}[laughter]
301
00:11:56,858 --> 00:11:58,264
{\an7}What you-- what?
302
00:11:58,264 --> 00:12:00,231
{\an7}This is my week hosting,
\h\h\hand you running up
303
00:12:00,231 --> 00:12:01,726
{\an7}the bill with all this travel.
304
00:12:01,726 --> 00:12:02,198
{\an7}Come on.
305
00:12:02,198 --> 00:12:05,528
{\an7}Wow, this is how you
treat a Black woman?
306
00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:06,759
{\an7}[laughter]
307
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:07,792
{\an7}That’s not--
308
00:12:07,792 --> 00:12:08,660
{\an7}In April?
309
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,561
{\an7}No, no, that’s not happening.
310
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:12,891
{\an7}Black Women’s History Month?
311
00:12:12,891 --> 00:12:15,000
{\an7}No, no, no, no, no, no.
312
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:15,561
{\an7}No, no, no.
313
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:17,165
{\an7}That’s not how I meant it.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Wow.
314
00:12:17,165 --> 00:12:18,957
{\an7}- That’s not how I meant it.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Wow.
315
00:12:18,957 --> 00:12:20,825
{\an7}\h\hThat’s not how--
no, no, no, no, no.
316
00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:21,297
{\an7}Let me--
317
00:12:21,297 --> 00:12:23,000
{\an7}No, I should be out
\hhere with a Telfar
318
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,495
{\an7}bag and Morris Chestnut.
319
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:27,825
{\an7}\h\hAnd you out here trying to
act like I’m not doing my job.
320
00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:28,693
{\an7}You know what?
321
00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:29,759
{\an7}I’mma get on my jet ski.
322
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:30,693
{\an7}I got to do with you--
323
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:32,330
{\an7}I got to do none of this.
324
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,363
{\an7}Where my jet ski?
325
00:12:34,363 --> 00:12:36,000
{\an7}Dulcé Sloan, everybody.
326
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,924
{\an7}[cheering]
327
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,396
{\an7}All right, when we come
\h\hback, Jordan Klepper
328
00:12:40,396 --> 00:12:43,660
{\an7}looks back at yesterday’s
madness at the courthouse.
329
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:45,363
{\an7}You don’t want to miss it.
330
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:52,726
{\an7}[cheering]
331
00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:07,486
[cheering]
332
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:09,989
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
333
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,391
Yesterday Jordan Klepper
was down at the courthouse
334
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:13,792
for Donald Trump's arraignment.
335
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,161
We gave you a little taste of
it yesterday-- some Santos,
336
00:13:16,161 --> 00:13:17,563
some Marjorie Taylor Greene.
337
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,366
But today we'll hear what the
Trump faithful have to say.
338
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:23,135
[audio logo]
339
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,770
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER):
Tuesday's arraignment
340
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,372
of former President
Donald Trump
341
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,941
in New York was a
first for the nation
342
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,043
and brought out the
passionate, the sensibly
343
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,112
dressed, and the kind
of men who really
344
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,179
disappoint their mothers.
345
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:35,180
Two genders.
346
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,515
Two genders.
347
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:37,783
Two genders.
348
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:39,752
ROY WOOD JR: While I had
fun getting into the scrum,
349
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,855
I was surprised to find
there were people who
350
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,757
wanted to have
meaningful conversations
351
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,158
about the justice system.
352
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:49,328
I don't believe what we're--
what you're seeing is justice.
353
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,030
You don't believe in
the grand jury process?
354
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:54,933
I don't believe if this
was a civilian, it would--
355
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,068
I mean, he is a civilian.
356
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,604
He is a person who had
a New York address.
357
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,740
So he shouldn't go through
the grand jury process?
358
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,643
I believe it
should be dismissed.
359
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,111
Because?
360
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:09,081
Because I--
361
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,083
I'm going by a
general gut feeling.
362
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:14,686
The way I see it
is the government
363
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:17,322
is stepping over their bounds
in doing what they're doing
364
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:19,925
here, indicting Donald Trump.
365
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,293
This stuff happens
all the time.
366
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,694
What stuff?
367
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,530
Paying off a porn star, and
then fudging business records?
368
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,531
I mean, come on.
369
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,999
It's his own money
for one thing.
370
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:29,535
And out of all the cases
up against Donald Trump,
371
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,170
this is probably
the weakest one.
372
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,238
Probably the weakest, yeah.
373
00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:34,773
There's no evidence to
bring about this prosecution.
374
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:35,841
So--
375
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,009
Well, we don't know
that until there's
376
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,178
a grand jury, who can
then see that evidence.
377
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:41,480
You know, listen, I think
that everyone-- everyone
378
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,348
should get-- get a fair trial.
379
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:45,751
So you would support
a grand jury looking
380
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,252
at all of the
evidence, and if they
381
00:14:47,252 --> 00:14:49,054
decide to indict
Donald Trump, well,
382
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,156
then we will let that happen?
383
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,826
Sure, certainly, if
there's evidence, every--
384
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,294
every piece of evidence
should be heard.
385
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,695
Well, I mean, that's
what happened here.
386
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,230
Hmm.
387
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,731
There's an
excitement in the air.
388
00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,333
It feels almost like
the American version
389
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:02,901
of a royal event.
390
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:04,203
If the king [bleep]
a porn star,
391
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:07,372
paid her, and then lied
about it in business records,
392
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:09,575
like an American coronation.
393
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,477
ROY WOOD JR: And then
the Donald arrived.
394
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,112
The former leader
of the free world
395
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:14,947
was now possibly
in the same room
396
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,150
as a group of recently-busted
subway masturbators.
397
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,485
I think he wants media.
398
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,019
JORDAN KLEPPER: You think
he orchestrated all of this?
399
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,955
Yeah, because his polls--
400
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,491
like, DeSantis was
sort of-- was rising.
401
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,226
Now he's taken all the
air out of the room now--
402
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,227
Trump.
403
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,928
In 2016 he had all the media--
404
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:31,730
Fox News, CNN was covering.
405
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,831
Now they don't
cover him anymore.
406
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,099
Now they have to.
407
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,767
Getting arrested is the
smartest thing he could do.
408
00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,703
He's, like, one of the
smartest guys that I know of.
409
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:38,971
You're talking
about the man who's
410
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:40,539
getting fingerprinted inside
that building right now.
411
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:41,907
I think they
fingerprinted him already.
412
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,408
They have-- they have his DNA.
413
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:45,244
That guy's left his DNA in
a lot of different places.
414
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,512
This is, like,
the seventh time.
415
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,947
Could Trump run his
election campaign from prison?
416
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:49,982
He could do anything--
Trump.
417
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:50,983
Yeah.
418
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,351
Would that dissuade
you in any way?
419
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:54,486
Even if they give
him 34 felonies,
420
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,188
you know, it's just like--
421
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,289
Trump-- he's untouchable.
422
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,624
He's untouchable,
except for the person
423
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,093
who's literally touching
his fingerprints right now.
424
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:04,196
Have you donated to the
Trump campaign since he was--
425
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,597
I haven't thought
about it up until now,
426
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:07,533
but I guess I'd
consider it, sure.
427
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,602
Trump has fundraised, like,
over $5 million for this.
428
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:11,904
So in some ways,
it's almost like he's
429
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,372
getting paid to have sex.
430
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,707
Is he a sex worker?
431
00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:16,708
I mean, it's cool.
432
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:17,709
There's no judgment.
433
00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:19,111
Look, I think
you guys are great.
434
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,512
I love senses of humor.
435
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:24,149
But in many ways, you should
appreciate this is not funny.
436
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,552
Because they're going
after Trump today,
437
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,422
they'll go after me tomorrow,
and then they'll go after you.
438
00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:32,558
Did you pay off a
porn star, then lie
439
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:33,692
about your business records?
440
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:34,693
I'm sorry.
441
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:35,994
That's got to be frightening.
442
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,896
I guess he could come for
us if we've been involved
443
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,364
in hush money
payments, and then
444
00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:42,601
lying on our business
records, and then--
445
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,703
and then using that when it
comes to the campaign as well.
446
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,205
Like, I guess that
could happen to anybody.
447
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,106
JORDAN KLEPPER (VOICEOVER):
Perhaps we don't need justice
448
00:16:48,106 --> 00:16:51,910
to be blind, just friendly.
449
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,178
[cheering]
450
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,179
Thank you, Jordan.
451
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,214
All right.
452
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,548
Stay tuned because
when we come back,
453
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:59,685
Cedric the Entertainer will
be joining me on the show.
454
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,852
Don't go away.
455
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:02,821
I'm going to pretend
to write on this paper.
456
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:09,828
[cheering]
457
00:17:14,523 --> 00:17:18,764
{\an7}[cheering]
458
00:17:18,764 --> 00:17:21,028
{\an7}Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
459
00:17:21,028 --> 00:17:25,127
{\an7}\h\hMy guest tonight is one of
the original Kings of Comedy.
460
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,632
{\an7}\h\hHe’s also the star
and executive producer
461
00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:30,094
{\an7}\h\hof the hit CBS series The
Neighborhood, which will soon
462
00:17:30,094 --> 00:17:31,764
{\an7}celebrate its 100th episode.
463
00:17:31,764 --> 00:17:36,995
{\an7}\h\hI got her the most amazing
gift, a genuine Chanel jacket
464
00:17:36,995 --> 00:17:40,523
{\an7}\hstraight off the
runways of Paris.
465
00:17:40,523 --> 00:17:45,995
{\an7}Looked like it came straight
from the Guangdong Province.
466
00:17:45,995 --> 00:17:47,632
{\an7}Yes, you gonna love it, baby.
467
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:49,160
{\an7}You gonna-- here we go.
468
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,731
{\an7}Ah, yes.
469
00:17:50,731 --> 00:17:54,457
{\an7}Oh, no.
470
00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:57,028
{\an7}Hey, man, that’s too small.
471
00:17:57,028 --> 00:17:57,830
{\an7}I can see that, Dave.
472
00:17:57,830 --> 00:18:02,896
{\an7}\h\h\hSo I don’t have to point
out that it’s spelled channel.
473
00:18:02,896 --> 00:18:03,523
{\an7}No.
474
00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:06,292
{\an7}\h\h\h\hPlease, welcome
Cedric the Entertainer.
475
00:18:06,292 --> 00:18:13,698
{\an7}[cheering]
476
00:18:22,094 --> 00:18:23,061
{\an7}OG.
477
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,490
{\an7}Yeah.
478
00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:25,424
{\an7}Now--
479
00:18:25,424 --> 00:18:27,325
{\an7}What’s up?
480
00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:27,863
{\an7}What’s up?
481
00:18:27,863 --> 00:18:30,358
{\an7}Now, before we talk
about anything, OG,
482
00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:33,226
{\an7}let me just ask a serious
question off the rip, man.
483
00:18:33,226 --> 00:18:36,127
{\an7}What is your annual
\h\hbudget on hats?
484
00:18:36,127 --> 00:18:37,830
{\an7}[laughter]
485
00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:39,325
{\an7}Every time I see
you in a hat, I
486
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,797
{\an7}never see a hat repeat itself.
487
00:18:40,797 --> 00:18:42,632
{\an7}It’s just hats, just
\h\ha bunch of hat--
488
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:45,160
{\an7}\h\hdoes your wife have
any room for her shoes?
489
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,061
{\an7}[laughter]
490
00:18:46,061 --> 00:18:48,665
{\an7}\h\hCEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER:
That’s the constant battle.
491
00:18:48,665 --> 00:18:51,358
{\an7}It’s my hats against her shoes.
492
00:18:51,358 --> 00:18:51,896
{\an7}I’ve lost.
493
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:54,523
{\an7}\hI definitely lose in
that battle for sure.
494
00:18:54,523 --> 00:18:56,028
{\an7}So The Neighborhood.
495
00:18:56,028 --> 00:18:56,665
{\an7}Yeah, man.
496
00:18:56,665 --> 00:18:58,226
{\an7}Congratulations
on 100 episodes.
497
00:18:58,226 --> 00:18:59,292
{\an7}Yeah, big one.
498
00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:00,556
{\an7}[cheering]
499
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,490
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\hFirst and
foremost, and you’re
500
00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:07,160
{\an7}directing the 100th episode
of this television program.
501
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,325
{\an7}And The Neighborhood-- I’ve
\h\halways been a fan of it
502
00:19:09,325 --> 00:19:11,896
{\an7}\hbecause it’s a show
that positions itself
503
00:19:11,896 --> 00:19:13,259
{\an7}\hwithin the issue
of gentrification
504
00:19:13,259 --> 00:19:14,523
{\an7}and not addressing
the bigger issue,
505
00:19:14,523 --> 00:19:16,391
{\an7}but just what it means
\hto be a Black person
506
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:18,457
{\an7}in a Black neighborhood and
have a white person come in.
507
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:22,094
{\an7}And you figuring out how to
keep your culture while also
508
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,632
{\an7}learning about someone else’s.
509
00:19:23,632 --> 00:19:26,127
{\an7}In the writer’s room, how
\hare you all able to toe
510
00:19:26,127 --> 00:19:27,589
{\an7}that line on that
\h\hissue and make
511
00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:29,193
{\an7}it so palpable for everybody?
512
00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:30,797
{\an7}\hIt was always the
thing with the show.
513
00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:32,193
{\an7}I mean, you know,
it was interesting
514
00:19:32,193 --> 00:19:34,589
{\an7}because when the show
\h\hfirst came to me,
515
00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,556
{\an7}it was Here Comes
the Neighborhood.
516
00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:37,731
{\an7}\hAnd I was like,
oh, wait a minute.
517
00:19:37,731 --> 00:19:41,028
{\an7}So that’s a whole ’nother
\h\hattitude right there.
518
00:19:41,028 --> 00:19:42,292
{\an7}I’m like, I’m already there.
519
00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:44,424
{\an7}\h\h\hThe neighborhood
already exists, right?
520
00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:44,896
{\an7}[laughs]
521
00:19:44,896 --> 00:19:47,160
{\an7}So it was one of those
things where we wanted
522
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,863
{\an7}\hto be able to tell
the story of, like,
523
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,830
{\an7}how you feel when things come.
524
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:52,457
{\an7}\h\hYou do want growth
in your neighborhood.
525
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:54,325
{\an7}You do want a Starbucks
\h\h\hand a Whole Foods.
526
00:19:54,325 --> 00:19:56,962
{\an7}But you don’t want to do that
\hwithout losing the culture.
527
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:57,764
{\an7}You know what I’m saying?
528
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:01,698
{\an7}\hSo, you know, and that’s the
really how we tell the story.
529
00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:03,094
{\an7}We got great actors.
530
00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:07,665
{\an7}Max Greenfield, who plays Dave,
is just legendary funny man,
531
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,226
{\an7}killing it.
532
00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:12,094
{\an7}Tichina Arnold, Beth Behrs,
\h\h\hMarcel Spears, we kill
533
00:20:12,094 --> 00:20:13,193
{\an7}it, man.
534
00:20:13,193 --> 00:20:15,127
{\an7}[applause]
535
00:20:15,127 --> 00:20:15,764
{\an7}So--
536
00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:17,589
{\an7}Now talk about directing.
537
00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:18,292
{\an7}What was that like?
538
00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:19,830
{\an7}Because the episode
premieres next week.
539
00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:23,061
{\an7}But what was that like to sit
\h\hbehind that camera and go,
540
00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:25,325
{\an7}you do this, and go get
\h\hme a water, mother--
541
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,830
{\an7}That was it.
That was it.
542
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:27,962
{\an7}That’s what I did.
543
00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:28,896
{\an7}[laughter]
544
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:29,731
{\an7}That’s what everybody love.
545
00:20:29,731 --> 00:20:30,962
{\an7}\h\hI was like, yo,
you’re the director.
546
00:20:30,962 --> 00:20:33,226
{\an7}You actually-- you get
to paint the picture.
547
00:20:33,226 --> 00:20:33,896
{\an7}That’s what I say.
548
00:20:33,896 --> 00:20:36,556
{\an7}You know, you’re the one that’s
kind of literally putting all
549
00:20:36,556 --> 00:20:38,424
{\an7}the colors on the
canvas and just--
550
00:20:38,424 --> 00:20:41,830
{\an7}\h\hand so you get to tell
people just for no reason,
551
00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:43,698
{\an7}I don’t like the tie.
I don’t like the tie.
552
00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:45,094
{\an7}Lose the tie.
You know what?
553
00:20:45,094 --> 00:20:46,094
{\an7}No, the tie good.
554
00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:46,764
{\an7}Keep your tie on.
555
00:20:46,764 --> 00:20:50,160
{\an7}You know, so-- but, actually,
\h\hit was that kind of thing
556
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,457
{\an7}where I got great actors.
557
00:20:51,457 --> 00:20:53,391
{\an7}\hYou really just
give them the best
558
00:20:53,391 --> 00:20:55,193
{\an7}place to deliver and get off.
559
00:20:55,193 --> 00:20:57,391
{\an7}And that’s what I really
\hlearned as a director
560
00:20:57,391 --> 00:20:58,061
{\an7}for the most part.
561
00:20:58,061 --> 00:21:00,061
{\an7}\h\h\h\hI’ve been doing-- I’ve
directed a couple of episodes
562
00:21:00,061 --> 00:21:01,589
{\an7}of The Neighborhood
\hand then The Soul
563
00:21:01,589 --> 00:21:04,226
{\an7}\hMan that I used to have,
my other show with Niecy.
564
00:21:04,226 --> 00:21:07,556
{\an7}And so that’s the idea,
\h\hreally just finding
565
00:21:07,556 --> 00:21:10,490
{\an7}that place where a comic
can get off or an actor
566
00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:12,896
{\an7}\h\hand just, like,
show them where they
567
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:13,830
{\an7}need to be for it to happen.
568
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,665
{\an7}Well, I can’t thank you
\henough for what you’ve
569
00:21:17,665 --> 00:21:21,292
{\an7}\h\hdone for not just the
culture of entertainment,
570
00:21:21,292 --> 00:21:24,127
{\an7}but also just the culture
\h\h\h\hof standup comedy.
571
00:21:24,127 --> 00:21:26,391
{\an7}And it’s not something that
\hyou toot your horn about.
572
00:21:26,391 --> 00:21:29,226
{\an7}It’s not something that you
\htalk about a lot publicly.
573
00:21:29,226 --> 00:21:30,830
{\an7}\h\hBut I want to give
you flowers today, OG,
574
00:21:30,830 --> 00:21:35,160
{\an7}because you have staffed and
\hemployed so many people--
575
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,929
{\an7}Black, white, women--
\hjust so many people.
576
00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:40,490
{\an7}And there are so
many comedians.
577
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:42,589
{\an7}[cheering]
578
00:21:42,589 --> 00:21:46,490
{\an7}You know, it’s one thing to
be someone in this industry
579
00:21:46,490 --> 00:21:47,896
{\an7}and create a great
\hcomedy special.
580
00:21:47,896 --> 00:21:49,028
{\an7}\hBut I measure the
worth of a comedian
581
00:21:49,028 --> 00:21:52,193
{\an7}by how many homeowners does
\hhe create within his team.
582
00:21:52,193 --> 00:21:54,226
{\an7}\h\hAnd it’s a bunch
of them over there.
583
00:21:54,226 --> 00:21:55,028
{\an7}Thank you so much.
584
00:21:55,028 --> 00:21:56,424
{\an7}Ced the Entertainer, everybody.
585
00:21:56,424 --> 00:21:57,424
{\an7}Yeah, man.
586
00:21:57,424 --> 00:21:59,731
{\an7}[cheering]
587
00:21:59,731 --> 00:22:03,391
{\an7}\h\h\hThe 100th episode of
The Neighborhood as April
588
00:22:03,391 --> 00:22:05,665
{\an7}10 on CBS and Paramount+.
589
00:22:05,665 --> 00:22:07,325
{\an7}\h\h\hWe’re going to
take a quick break.
590
00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:09,094
{\an7}We’ll be right back after this.
591
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:09,714
{\an7}[cheering]
592
00:22:18,191 --> 00:22:19,300
{\an7}That’s our show for tonight.
593
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:20,960
{\an7}But before we go, please--
594
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,564
{\an7}please, consider donating to
the Tutwiler Garden Program
595
00:22:24,564 --> 00:22:26,125
{\an7}at Troy University in Alabama.
596
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:27,795
{\an7}The program partners
\h\hcollege students
597
00:22:27,795 --> 00:22:29,465
{\an7}with female inmates
\hat Tutwiler Prison
598
00:22:29,465 --> 00:22:31,894
{\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto teach about
horticulture and nutrition.
599
00:22:31,894 --> 00:22:34,498
{\an7}\h\h\hIf you can, please,
donate at the link below.
600
00:22:34,498 --> 00:22:37,366
{\an7}\h\hNow here it is,
your Moment of Zen.
601
00:22:37,366 --> 00:22:40,894
{\an7}\hDonald Trump has
called for America
602
00:22:40,894 --> 00:22:42,630
{\an7}\h\h\hto defund the
police, particularly
603
00:22:42,630 --> 00:22:45,960
{\an7}\h\hthe FBI, the Department of
Justice, because the Democrats
604
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:51,267
{\an7}have weaponized law enforcement
All right, who in this panel--
605
00:22:51,267 --> 00:22:55,927
{\an7}\h\hraise your hand-- who
thinks that’s a good idea?
606
00:22:55,927 --> 00:22:57,300
{\an7}All right, nobody.
607
00:22:57,300 --> 00:22:59,399
{\an7}ANNOUNCER: MTV.