*
>> Announcer: FROM
NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN
AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT
INVENTED NEWS.
THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH
YOUR HOST, ROY WOOD JR.!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
[CHEERS AND
>> Roy: WELCOME TO
"THE DAILY SHOW!"
I AM ROY WOOD JR.!
YES!
YES, YES, YES!
YES!
WE WELCOME YOU TO
"THE DAILY SHOW"!
WE WELCOME YOU TO THIS
WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PROGRAM.
AND IT IS MY PLEASURE TO WELCOME
YOU TO THE INDICTMENT CIRCUS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[VOCALIZES CIRCUS
ANYWAY, IT'S A SOMBER DAY FOR
DEMOCRACY.
THIS SHIT IS GOING TO BE
EXHAUSTING.
LET'S JUST GET INTO THE
HEADLINES.
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, SO WE ARE HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY AND TODAY WAS ONE
FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS.
BECAUSE WHEN TODAY BEGAN, WE
WERE PREPARING FOR THE CRAZIEST
DAY IN NEW YORK SINCE SINCE THE
STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN CAME
TO TOWN AND BUSTED A NUT ON THE
WHOLE CITY.
THAT WASN'T MARSHMALLOWS.
BUT TODAY WAS EVEN CRAZIER.
BECAUSE TODAY WAS
TRUMP ARRAIGNMENT DAY.
>> THIS IS BREAKING NEWS.
>> A REMARKABLE CHAPTER IN
AMERICAN HISTORY.
FOR THE FIRST TIME, A FORMER
PRESIDENT FACED A JUDGE IN A
CRIMINAL COURTROOM ON CHARGES HE
BROKE THE LAW AND IT HAPPENED
RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.
>> FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP PLEADS
NOT GUILTY TO 34 COUNTS OF
FALSIFYING BUSINESS RECORDS
RELATED TO HUSH MONEY PAYMENTS.
>> THE PHOTOGRAPH IS STARK AND
HISTORIC AS WE LOOK AT IT.
DONALD TRUMP.
>> THAT IS A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE
A DEFENDANT.
THE FORMER PRESIDENT, I HAVE
SEEN THAT FACE NOT MANY TIMES.
HE LOOKS SOMBER.
>> Roy: LOOK AT YOU!
LOOK AT YO ASS NOW!
THEY GOT YO ASS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY TALKING
SHIT ABOUT THE JUDGE, TALKING
SHIT ABOUT THE D.A.
"I'M GOING TO MARCH INTO THE
COURTROOM --"
SHUT YOUR ASS UP!
LOOK AT HOW SAD TRUMP LOOKS.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY TOLD HIM HIS
DOG DIED OR THAT MIKE PENCE IS
STILL ALIVE.
AND YOU CAN TALK ALL THE SHIT
YOU WANT BUT I'M TELLING YOU,
BABY, THE MOMENT YOU IN THAT
COURTROOM, THAT SHIT GET REAL!
TRUMP SIT IN THERE LIKE, WOW.
YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS
TO ME.
AND HE ALONE.
EIGHT NONE OF YOUR BOYS AROUND
NO MORE, YOU GAVE THEM ALL
PARDONS.
EVERYBODY NO, YOU DON'T PARDON
ALL OF YOUR PARTNERS.
YOU GOT TO LEAVE ONE IN JAIL SO
YOU HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.
THIS IS HOW I KNOW TRUMP DID
SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE GUILTY OF
BUT HE DID SOMETHING.
LOOK AT THE OUTFIT.
FIRST DAY OF COURT, HE AND HIS
OR THAT DON'T EVEN FIT.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
WHEN GWYNETH PALTROW SHOWED YOU
THE CHEAT CODE, BOY!
YOU GOT TO DRESS LIKE YOU DON'T
GIVE A [BLEEP]!
YOU GOT TO DRESS FOR COURT LIKE
YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SOMEWHERE
ELSE!
LOOK AT GWYNETH PALTROW.
"YOU CAN'T CONVICT ME, THESE
GLASSES ARE CARTIER."
IS THAT HOW YOU SAY?
I CAN'T AFFORD NICE GLASSES.
SO AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, IT WAS A
CRAZY DAY IN NEW YORK.
THE CITY WAS READY FOR ANYTHING.
BARRICADES WERE LAID OUT.
EVERY POLICE OFFICER WAS ON
DUTY.
EVEN MAYOR ERIC ADAMS SAID HE
MIGHT NOT GO TO THE CLUB
TONIGHT.
JUST IN CASE Y'ALL NEED HIM!
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, HE'D BE IN THE
CLUB, GOT TO KEEP THE PHONE ON
VIBRATE.
CALLED HIM TWICE SO HE KNOW IT
AN EMERGENCY.
AND THE COPS, I GIVE THE NYPD
THIS.
THEY WERE RIGHT TO SET UP ALL
THE BARRICADES.
TRUMP SUPPORTERS SWARM DOWNTOWN
MANHATTAN AND FILLED THE STREETS
WITH RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.
IT IS LIKE A PUERTO RICAN DAY
PARADE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO
DEPORT PUERTO RICANS.
AND TO POLICE'S CREDIT, TO THEIR
CREDIT, THEY HANDLED IT
PERFECTLY.
THEY KEPT EVERYBODY ON BOTH
SIDES FAR ENOUGH APART SO NOBODY
GOT HURT.
BUT CLOSE ENOUGH SO THEY COULD
STILL ROAST THE SHIT OUT OF EACH
OTHER.
>> YO, YO MAMA, [BLEEP],
YO MAMA!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: AH, YES.
AH, YES.
THE CLASSIC.
NO WAY TO WIN AN ARGUMENT FASTER
THAN
"YO MAMA."
YOU LOSE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU
SAID.
"DONALD TRUMP IS A POLITICAL
PRISONER UNFAIRLY TARGETED BY
THE POLITICAL SYSTEM."
"YO MAMA, BITCH!"
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I HATE YOU, YOU BLEED OUT.
IT WAS A CRAZY SCENE DOWNTOWN,
IT WAS WILD.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE MAKING IT
CRAZY WAS MARJORIE TAYLOR GRE
GREENE.
[BOOS]
OH!
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.
SHE SWUNG DOWN TO THE
COURTHOUSE,
DOUBLE-PARKED HER BROOMSTICK,
AND TOOK PART IN THE
FESTIVITIES.
TODAY, SHE OFFERED A DEFENSE OF
THE PRESIDENT THAT I HAVE NEVER
HEARD BEFORE.
>> PRESIDENT TRUMP
IS JOINING SOME OF THE MOST
INCREDIBLE PEOPLE IN HISTORY
BEING ARRESTED TODAY.
NELSON MANDELA WAS ARRESTED,
SERVED TIME IN PRISON.
JESUS!
JESUS WAS
>> Roy: JESUS!
JESUS!
THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING TOO:
JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS
LADY?
HOW YOU GOING TO COMPARE
DONALD TRUMP TO JESUS?
FIRST OF ALL, JESUS WALKED ON
WATER.
DONALD TRUMP CAN BARELY WALK ON
LAND.
NOW THE CRAZY THING ABOUT ALL OF
THIS TODAY
IS THAT DONALD TRUMP DIDN'T EVEN
HAVE TO COME TO NEW YORK.
HE COULD HAVE DONE THE WHOLE
ARRAIGNMENT AT THE CRIB.
CAUSE APPARENTLY THEY GAVE HIM
THE OPTION TO BE ARRAIGNED OVER
ZOOM!
YOU KNOW, LIKE NELSON MANDELA
AND JESUS.
BUT I GET.
I COMPLETELY GET WHY TRUMP
DIDN'T DO OVER ZOOM.
ONE, HE WOULD'VE GOTTEN ON
CAMERA AND THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND
MORE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS ON
CAMERA.
TWO, TRUMP WANTS PUBLICITY.
LOOK AT HOW WE CAME OUT OF
TRUMP TOWER THIS MORNING, GIVING
THE BLACK POWER FAST LIKE A REAL
POLITICAL PRISONER.
HE LOVES THE SHIT LIKE THIS!
HELL, TRUMP MIGHT SHOW HER UP TO
COURT EVERY DAY DANCING ON TOP
OF A CAR LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON.
[SINGING LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON]
AND THE MEDIA, MAN, WHAT DID
THEY DO?
THEY PLAYED RIGHT ALONG WITH IT,
GIVING US WALL-TO-WALL COVERAGE,
EVEN WHEN THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!
>> I WILL TURN TO YOU AND SHOW
YOU, HE WILL COME OUT THE SIDE
DOOR OF TRUMP TOWER TODAY, SO
THERE IS A SENSE OF ANTICIPATION
OF HIS MOVEMENT.
>> YOU CAN SEE SOME OF THE
TRAFFIC ON THE NORTHBOUND THERE,
AND I AM NOT SURE -- I CAN'T
REMEMBER AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD,
I THINK THAT WAS ONE WAY.
>> THE SOUTH.
THAT IS NOT FIFTH AVENUE.
>> I CHECKED
IN AND THAT IS THE FASTEST
ROUTE.
>> DID YOU I SHOULD SEE THE
FORMER PRESIDENT WALK OUT OR IS
THAT JUST ME?
THINK OF THAT IS DONALD TRUMP
RIGHT THERE.
>> I AM SORRY, THAT IS
DONALD TRUMP.
>> ANY MOMENT NOW COME EITHER
FROM A PRISON WALK THROUGH THESE
DOORS.
>> THERE ARE MANY DOORS INTO THE
COURTROOM, AND IT IS NOT JUST
THIS ONE DOOR, THERE ARE SIDE
DOORS AND THERE IS A BACKDOOR.
>> THE PHOTOGRAPHER LASER
FOCUSED ON THAT FRONT DOOR.
>> AND MANY HALLWAYS THAT LEAD
TO EACH DOOR.
>> IF HE DOES GO THROUGH THOSE
DOORS, HE WILL COME BY THE
CAMERA.
>> THE JUDGE COMES AT A
DIFFERENT DOOR, THE JURY COMES
IN ANOTHER DOOR, AND THE
DEFENDANT WHO IS INCARCERATED
COMES IN A DIFFERENT DOOR, THE
PUBLIC COMES IN A MAIN DOOR, SO
THERE ARE MANY DOORS.
>> Roy: OKAY, SO LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU ARE TELLING ME THE
COURTHOUSE HAS MULTIPLE DOORS.
AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE COME
THROUGH DIFFERENT DOORS AND
THOSE DOORS CONNECT TO OTHER
DOORS AND THOSE ARE ALL THE
DOORS.
DAMN, I'M LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT
THE LEGAL SYSTEM.
THANK YOU, CABLE NEWS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NOW BUILDINGS GOT DOORS AND
SHIT, YOU LEARN STUFF.
NOW HERE IS WHAT BOTHERED ME
ABOUT TODAY.
I WILL SAY THIS.
DONALD TRUMP DESERVES A FAIR
TRIAL.
BUT I ALSO WANT TRUMP TO GET THE
FULL AMERICAN CRIMINAL JUSTICE
EXPERIENCE, WHICH IS NOT WHAT
HAPPENED TODAY.
THE MAN GOT TO SCHEDULE HIS
VISIT TO THE COURTHOUSE LIKE EVA
CABLE MAN.
TRUMP COMES ACCORD, LISTEN, I
WILL BE AT THE JAIL AT TUESDAY
BETWEEN 10:00 AND 2:00.
THEN, ONCE TRUMP GOT THERE,
THERE WERE NO HANDCUFFS, THERE
WERE NO MUG SHOTS, THERE WERE NO
PERP WALKS.
FOR TRUMP, IT WOULD BE A PERP
WADDLE BUT YOU UNDERSTAND.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE POINT.
MY POINT IS, I AM DISAPPOINTED,
BECAUSE TODAY SHOWS YOU HOW
HUMANE OUR COURTS COULD BE.
SO MANY PEOPLE GET DRAGGED INTO
THIS LEGAL SYSTEM AND IT IS
HUMILIATING.
YOU GET HANDCUFFED, YOU GET
GAWKED AT, YOU WAIT A DAY,
MONTHS FOR AN ARRAIGNMENT.
THEN YOU COME YOU GO INTO A
BUILDING, THROUGH ONE OF THOSE
MANY [BLEEP] DOORS, YOU GET TO A
ROOM, THEY STRIP YOU NAKED, THEY
SPREAD YOUR ASS CHEEKS AND MAKE
YOU COUGH TWICE.
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE SECOND
CLASS.
THE FIRST HALF, I GET.
ONE COUGH IS ENOUGH TO WHETHER
OR NOT I HAVE DRUGS IN MY BOOTY,
THE SECOND SECOND COPY IS FOR
YOU, THAT IS WRONG.
AM I SHARING TOO MUCH WITH Y'ALL
RIGHT NOW?
I THOUGHT I COULD OPEN UP TO
Y'ALL, APPARENTLY NOT.
MY POINT IS, FOR THE SAKE OF
THIS COUNTRY,
I HOPE THAT DONALD TRUMP GETS A
SWIFT TRIAL.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE SHOULD
GET THE TSA PRE-CHECK LANE.
BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS:
THE NEW YORK INVESTIGATION IS
JUST ONE OF MANY INTO THE FORMER
PRESIDENT.
SO WE WILL HAVE PLENTY OF OTHER
OPPORTUNITIES TO GET HIM
ARRESTED CORRECTLY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO GEORGIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING,
WHEN YOU FINALLY GET
DONALD TRUMP IN YOUR COURTROOM,
WASH BACK
MAKE SURE HE COUGHS TWICE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU FOR CLAPPING FOR THAT,
YOU KNOW, THAT WAS GOOD.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS GOOD
ENOUGH TO GO VIRAL.
I AM TRYING TO GO VIRAL THIS
WEEK, YOU KNOW?
IT IS A LOT OF PRESSURE AS GUEST
HOST, YOU GOT TO BE FUNNY, YOU
GOT TO BE SATIRICAL, YOU GOT TO
BE POWERFUL, YOU GOT TO GO
VIRAL.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY THAT I
COULD TALK TO, TO GUIDE ME
THROUGH SOME OF THIS STUFF, MAN.
>> ROY...ROY...
USE THE FORCE, ROY.
>> Roy: WHO THAT?
>> USE THE FORCE.
>> Roy: [BLEEP] GHOST?
>> ROY, USE THE FORCE.
USE THE FORCE, ROY.
ROY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: I KNOW YOU!
I KNOW YOU!
I KNOW YOU.
I KNEW I KNEW YOUR ASS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU ARE OBI-WAN KENOBI!
>> I AM JON.
STEWART.
I USED TO WORK HERE WHEN THE
BUDGET WASN'T AS BIG.
A FEW YEARS BACK.
ACTUALLY, I HOSTED A PROGRAM, TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU.
>> Roy: "THE DAILY SHOW" HAD A
WHITE HOST?
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE OBI-WAN
KENOBI?
>> I LIKE TO BE COMFORTABLE.
ROY, THE POINT IS THIS.
DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T --
>> Roy: IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN
KENOBI, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?
IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN KENOBI, THAT
WOULD MAKE BE LUKE SKYWALKER.
>> WHY THE [BLEEP] WOULDN'T YOU
WANT TO BE LUKE SKYWALKER?
>> Roy: LUKE SKYWALKER KISSED
HIS SISTER.
I WANT TO BE HAN SOLO, HE WAS
COOL.
YOU CAN BE CHEWBACCA.
>> WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE A WOLF
APE?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE -- LOOK, I
THINK IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE
IF I WAS THE WISE SAGE WHO
MENTORS THE YOUNG HOST AND NOT
THE WOLF ATE.
ALSO, I CANNOT RETURN THIS ROBE.
WHAT HAPPENED WAS, THE EVENTS
THAT TOOK PLACE IN THIS --
>> Roy: BUT IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN
AND I AM LUKE, DOES THAT MEAN MY
DAD IS VADER?
IF MY DAD IS DARTH VADER, DOES
THAT MEAN DONALD TRUMP IS MY
DAD?
I AM TRYING --
>> I KNOW THAT, ROY, WHY WOULD
DONALD TRUMP YOUR FATHER?
>> Roy: BECAUSE, IF I AM LUKE,
AND TRUMP IS VADER, THAT MEANS
TRUMP KILLED YOU!
>> WHAT?
YOU ARE HAN SOLO,
I'M BABY YODA.
>> Roy: WHY NOT REGULAR YODA?
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I SHOULD HAVE COME WHEN A
SILVERMAN WAS HERE.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: I GOT THIS, I GOT
THIS.
I WANT TO GO ALONG WITH YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU BE YODA, BECAUSE
YOU ARE HOBBLED AND GREEN AND
SHIT.
AND I WILL BE LANDO.
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
I WILL BE LANDO, YOU KNOW.
>> IS THIS A TRAP?
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU BOTH HAVE
>> Roy:
>> Roy: MUSTACHES, YEAH.
>> MY POINT IS THIS, ROY,
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON THE
PROGRAM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THE THING ABOUT -- YOU ARE DOING
A FABULOUS JOB, BY THE WAY.
>> Roy: THANK YOU, BROTHER.
>> THE THING ABOUT THIS HISTORIC
INDICTMENT IS THAT AMERICAN
JURISPRUDENCE --
>> Roy: WE ARE OUT OF TIME.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.
JON STEWART, EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU, OBI-WAN, THANK YOU!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL RIGHT.
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE SEE WHAT
JORDAN KLEPPER SAW AT THE
COURTHOUSE TODAY, SO DON'T GO
AWAY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."
AS WE SAW, A LOT OF CRAZY
CHARACTERS DOWN THERE AT THE
TRUMP RALLY TODAY.
NOW IF YOU LOOK AT THIS FOOTAGE
OF MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, LOOK
AT ALL THESE IDIOTS WITH NOTHING
BETTER TO DO ALL DAY.
WEIGHT.
ZOOM IN ON MY MAN IN THE
BACKGROUND RIGHT THERE.
OH, MY GOD!
THERE IS JORDAN KLEPPER.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT IS THAT IDIOT DOING DOWN
THERE?
THAT IS A MORON.
HE IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS
WHIPPED.
>> I AM RIGHT HERE, ROY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,
EVERYBODY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I DIDN'T MEAN NONE OF THAT.
I AM HAPPY YOU ARE DOWN THERE
TODAY, JORDAN KLEPPER, AS THE
OLD SAYING GOES, BETTER YOU THAN
ME.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE DOWN THERE?
>> IT WAS PRETTY CHILL.
RESPECTFUL CROWD WHO QUIETLY
SHOW THEIR SUPPORT FOR AMERICAN
JURISPRUDENCE.
>> Roy: I HAVE SEEN THE
FOOTAGE AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE
[BLEEP] WITH ME.
>> I'M [BLEEP] WITH YOU, ROY.
IT WAS A SHIT SHOW.
AND I GOT A FRONT ROW SEAT TO
TAKE A BIG OLD WITH.
TAKE A LOOK.
I WENT DOWNTOWN TO WATCH TRUMP
HISTORIC ARREST AND THE
SURROUNDING MEDIA CIRCUS.
BUT I WAS CURIOUS HOW A HOMETOWN
BOY DONALD TRUMP WOULD BE
GREETED BY REGULAR NEW YORKERS.
>> [BLEEP] TRUMP, MAN.
>> WHAT WAS THERE TO SEE?
>> TRUMP IS DONE!
YES, HE DOES!
>> DONALD TRUMP, THAT [BLEEP]!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> ALSO APPEARING WHERE SOME OF
THE MOST RESPECTED AND
ARTICULATE MEMBERS OF THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY.
>> [INSTINCT]
>> YES, RISING STARS OF THE
G.O.P. CAME OUT IN FORCE.
>> IF ANYBODY CAN GET
DONALD TRUMP OFF TODAY, IT IS
AMERICA'S LEAD DEFENSE ATTORNEY,
GEORGE SANTOS, WHO IS A HARVARD
LAW GRAD.
ARE YOU FINALLY BRINGING
LEGITIMACY?
ARE YOU FINALLY BRINGING
LEGITIMACY TO THIS?
>> TELL ME ABOUT THE VOLLEYBALL
TOURNAMENT.
>> TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS.
>> I SURE DID.
>> AS FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES, DO YOU FEEL --
>> JORDAN, JORDAN --
>> TALK TO ME --
>> I'VE NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION
LIKE THAT.
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT OUR NATIONS
FUTURE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,
EVERYBODY.
IF NOBODY ELSE HA
JORDAN, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
ALL YOU HAVE DONE BECAUSE I KNOW
IT TAKES A LOT OUT OF YOU.
>> THANK YOU, ROY, I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.
>> Roy: NO, YOU GOT TO GO DOWN
THERE, WE NEED MORE SHIT FOR
TOMORROW.
>> OKAY.
YOU ARE THE BOSS.
FOR THIS WEEK.
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,
EVERYBODY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL RIGHT.
STAY TUNED,
BECAUSE WHEN WE COME BACK,
ROBIN THEDE WILL BE JOINING ME
ON THE SHOW.
[cheering]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is the creator and star
of the Emmy-winning HBO series A Black Lady Sketch Show.
You gonna play this rematch, OK?
Because ever since I got these hair plugs in,
my luck has flipped faster than a pig on a spit.
And I should know because at my job,
I put the pig on the spit.
And I crack that thing.
Wait a minute.
Come here just an inch.
Oh.
(WHISPERING) 1, 2, 3.
Oh, my god, those look suspiciously like my Locks
of Black Love donation.
Yeah, so they gave the extras to Weave in Need,
and I was the neediest.
Please, welcome Robin Thede.
[cheering]
ROBIN THEDE: Thank you.
Oh!
Oh, my god.
Robin Thede!
Oh, my god.
Listen, I wore my Trump orange.
We are reclaiming this color.
[cheering]
We are ready.
Yeah, no, it's-- what a day to be in New York.
What a day to be in New York.
[cheering]
It feels like Christmas and just prom,
just everything wrapped into one.
I drove by Trump Tower.
They were screaming, lock him up.
It was just really--
[cheering]
I'm here for the trial, you know?
I'm here for the looting.
I need a TV. - Yeah.
No, that's fair.
That's fair.
But do you really ever need an excuse to loot, Roy?
I think--
[laughter]
Speaking of Trump, now, before you
got the HBO series--
Yeah.
--your journey through unscripted television, you
had your own television show--
I did.
ROY WOOD, JR.: --on BET, The Rundown.
Shots out to that. - Yes, thank you.
Where you quarterbacked a lot of--
No one in the audience saw it.
That's fine.
--different political topics.
That's why it was canceled-- you people!
No, it was fine.
Prior to that, The Nightly Show
with Larry Wilmore, which was on this network--
Yes, yes, yes.
--where you were--
and correct me if I'm wrong-- the first Black woman
head writer in the history of unscripted,
late-night television.
[cheering]
And you wrote for the Correspondents Dinner.
How much do you miss this world and talking about Trump?
Because Black Lady Sketch Show, so much of it
is about the Black experience and just
the unique perspectives that people may not necessarily
look through what Black women go through
and what Black women deal with from a funny perspective.
So-- - Yeah, very Trump heavy.
- Yeah. - No.
[laughs] - Not at all.
Not in the least. How much do you miss--
I don't miss it at all.
I have to be honest.
Like, it's not like I don't keep up with the news.
Obviously, I am.
My mother has been in politics forever.
Like, it's very important to me.
But I don't miss having to make fun
of something that has already made fun of itself so much.
You know, but I truly--
I mean, you have gotten me-- it's actually
your fault that I'm really interested in everything
that's going on.
Because your Gwyneth Paltrow trial coverage was so funny,
and I was like, I cannot wait, right?
[cheering]
So good.
And I was literally on the edge of my seat,
watching your take on it.
And so I was like, what is this Trump trial going to be?
Is he going to just try to represent himself?
Is he going to get up and say, you can't handle the truth,
and then his wig falls off?
Like, what's going to happen?
I don't know, but I'm excited to have you covering it.
I'm excited to have you at this desk.
Well, thank you, Robin.
Thank you, love.
[cheering]
So your program--
Oh, yeah, my program.
Your program, Black Lady Sketch Show,
entering its fourth season.
- Crazy. - You have--
[cheering]
Crazy.
It's so good, you guys.
And not just in front of the camera, but all of the Black
women that you employ behind the camera.
You're big on diversity.
You're big on showing Black women--
Yeah
--and putting-- and giving-- putting them on a pedestal.
In this era of so many other channels going,
we don't know what diversity is, where
is the talented Black women--
Oh, my god, get out of here.
--where do you find them?
How you-- did you hire all of them?
Listen, we are-- no, no, I did not.
I did not. I did not.
That's why it's a diversity problem.
You hired all the Black women for good.
[laughs] There are so many talented Black women
out here and women of color.
There's so many.
[cheering]
There are so many.
People-- look, people didn't know
who I was really till Larry Wilmore
put me on The Nightly Show.
People didn't know who a lot of these people are.
I mean, so many great people have come through our show,
everybody from Angela Bassett--
[cheering]
--who said to me, I did the show because no one
asked me to do comedy.
And I'm like, if you can play Tina Turner,
you can do a sketch.
You know, and so for me it's like the talent
from that level to little YouTube or TikTokers.
I love-- there's room for all of us there.
And I find talent by opening my eyes.
Like, and that's what people need to do.
They're everywhere.
We are everywhere doing this-- in standup,
in improv, in sketch, on YouTube, on TikTok,
on all these platforms.
So I think you just got to be willing to see the truth
and let Black women authentically tell it.
Don't write it for us.
Don't cast us, and then write for us.
Let us write for us, and then it's going to feel legit.
You know what I mean?
You can tell when a Black person is like, oh, my god,
did you guys get the new Taylor Swift?
I'm like, who wrote this?
No shame, Taylor Swift has Black fans,
but I'm just saying, like, it feels--
our show-- I think the key to our show
is that it feels authentic.
ROY WOOD, JR.: Absolutely.
You know, so I think that's what's dope.
- Give me-- - Woo!
Give me one-- yeah, woo.
I love a good woo.
Woo!
Give me one character because you are essentially--
you're the Lorne Michaels of this.
You're the Michael Che. You're the Colin Jost.
You're the Kenan Thompson. You're the writers.
Wow.
You're all the people behind the scenes.
That's a lot. Thank you.
You built this entire thing.
So you have this array of characters.
Give me one character that you think--
Yeah.
Which one resonates the most with people?
Well, I don't know if it's resonates,
but the definitely the one who causes the most controversy
and who people always quote to me is Dr. Hadassah
Olayinka Ali-Youngman, PhD.
[cheering]
ROY WOOD, JR.: I'm sorry.
Who is this character?
ROBIN THEDE: This is our Dr. Hadassah Olayinka
Ali-Youngman, pre-PhD.
She is a Hertep, which is a female version of a Hotep.
So she believes that women should not be working.
Although she has a talk show.
She believes that women should not wear shoes.
Although she does.
So she's just kind of a hypocrite who kind of spews
these conspiracy theories and says things like, see,
see, see, if you break down the word bacon, it means bay con.
They're trying to get us to cozy up to the conspiracy.
And it's just like, what does this mean?
What does this mean?
So, yeah, so she's a lot of fun.
She's a lot of fun.
People tend to scream, see, see, see, at me down
the street, which is great.
Well, I can relate to the character
because I follow a lot of people like that on Facebook.
I'm so happy you came.
[laughs]
Black Lady Sketch Show returns
for its fourth season--
Yes!
--April 14 on HBO and HBO Max.
OK, we're going to take a quick break.
But we'll be right back after this.
Robin Thede, everybody.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Roy: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR
TONIGHT, BUT BEFORE WE GO:
PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING THE
FLORIDA RIGHTS RESTORATION
COALITION.
THEY'RE DEDICATED TO ENDING
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST PEOPLE
WITH CONVICTIONS, AND CREATING A
MORE COMPREHENSIVE AND HUMANE
REENTRY SYSTEM.
IF YOU CAN, PLEASE DONATE AT THE
LINK BELOW.
NOW HERE IT IS.
YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN."
>> IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.
COULD BE.