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*

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>> Announcer: FROM

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NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN

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AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT

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INVENTED NEWS.

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THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH

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YOUR HOST, ROY WOOD JR.!

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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*

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[CHEERS AND

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>> Roy: WELCOME TO

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"THE DAILY SHOW!"

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I AM ROY WOOD JR.!

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YES!

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YES, YES, YES!

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YES!

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WE WELCOME YOU TO

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"THE DAILY SHOW"!

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WE WELCOME YOU TO THIS

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WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PROGRAM.

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AND IT IS MY PLEASURE TO WELCOME

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YOU TO THE INDICTMENT CIRCUS!

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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[VOCALIZES CIRCUS

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ANYWAY, IT'S A SOMBER DAY FOR

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DEMOCRACY.

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THIS SHIT IS GOING TO BE

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EXHAUSTING.

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LET'S JUST GET INTO THE

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HEADLINES.

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*

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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YEAH.

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ALL RIGHT, SO WE ARE HERE IN

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NEW YORK CITY AND TODAY WAS ONE

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FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS.

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BECAUSE WHEN TODAY BEGAN, WE

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WERE PREPARING FOR THE CRAZIEST

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DAY IN NEW YORK SINCE SINCE THE

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STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN CAME

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TO TOWN AND BUSTED A NUT ON THE

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WHOLE CITY.

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THAT WASN'T MARSHMALLOWS.

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BUT TODAY WAS EVEN CRAZIER.

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BECAUSE TODAY WAS

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TRUMP ARRAIGNMENT DAY.

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>> THIS IS BREAKING NEWS.

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>> A REMARKABLE CHAPTER IN

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AMERICAN HISTORY.

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FOR THE FIRST TIME, A FORMER

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PRESIDENT FACED A JUDGE IN A

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CRIMINAL COURTROOM ON CHARGES HE

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BROKE THE LAW AND IT HAPPENED

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RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.

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>> FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP PLEADS

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NOT GUILTY TO 34 COUNTS OF

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FALSIFYING BUSINESS RECORDS

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RELATED TO HUSH MONEY PAYMENTS.

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>> THE PHOTOGRAPH IS STARK AND

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HISTORIC AS WE LOOK AT IT.

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DONALD TRUMP.

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>> THAT IS A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE

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A DEFENDANT.

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THE FORMER PRESIDENT, I HAVE

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SEEN THAT FACE NOT MANY TIMES.

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HE LOOKS SOMBER.

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>> Roy: LOOK AT YOU!

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LOOK AT YO ASS NOW!

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THEY GOT YO ASS!

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY TALKING

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SHIT ABOUT THE JUDGE, TALKING

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SHIT ABOUT THE D.A.

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"I'M GOING TO MARCH INTO THE

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COURTROOM --"

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SHUT YOUR ASS UP!

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LOOK AT HOW SAD TRUMP LOOKS.

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LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY TOLD HIM HIS

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DOG DIED OR THAT MIKE PENCE IS

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STILL ALIVE.

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AND YOU CAN TALK ALL THE SHIT

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YOU WANT BUT I'M TELLING YOU,

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BABY, THE MOMENT YOU IN THAT

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COURTROOM, THAT SHIT GET REAL!

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TRUMP SIT IN THERE LIKE, WOW.

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YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS

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TO ME.

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AND HE ALONE.

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EIGHT NONE OF YOUR BOYS AROUND

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NO MORE, YOU GAVE THEM ALL

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PARDONS.

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EVERYBODY NO, YOU DON'T PARDON

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ALL OF YOUR PARTNERS.

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YOU GOT TO LEAVE ONE IN JAIL SO

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YOU HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.

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THIS IS HOW I KNOW TRUMP DID

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SOMETHING.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE GUILTY OF

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BUT HE DID SOMETHING.

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LOOK AT THE OUTFIT.

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FIRST DAY OF COURT, HE AND HIS

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OR THAT DON'T EVEN FIT.

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WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

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WHEN GWYNETH PALTROW SHOWED YOU

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THE CHEAT CODE, BOY!

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YOU GOT TO DRESS LIKE YOU DON'T

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GIVE A [BLEEP]!

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YOU GOT TO DRESS FOR COURT LIKE

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YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SOMEWHERE

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ELSE!

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LOOK AT GWYNETH PALTROW.

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"YOU CAN'T CONVICT ME, THESE

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GLASSES ARE CARTIER."

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IS THAT HOW YOU SAY?

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I CAN'T AFFORD NICE GLASSES.

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SO AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, IT WAS A

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CRAZY DAY IN NEW YORK.

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THE CITY WAS READY FOR ANYTHING.

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BARRICADES WERE LAID OUT.

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EVERY POLICE OFFICER WAS ON

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DUTY.

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EVEN MAYOR ERIC ADAMS SAID HE

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MIGHT NOT GO TO THE CLUB

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TONIGHT.

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JUST IN CASE Y'ALL NEED HIM!

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BECAUSE YOU KNOW, HE'D BE IN THE

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CLUB, GOT TO KEEP THE PHONE ON

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VIBRATE.

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CALLED HIM TWICE SO HE KNOW IT

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AN EMERGENCY.

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AND THE COPS, I GIVE THE NYPD

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THIS.

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THEY WERE RIGHT TO SET UP ALL

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THE BARRICADES.

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TRUMP SUPPORTERS SWARM DOWNTOWN

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MANHATTAN AND FILLED THE STREETS

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WITH RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.

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IT IS LIKE A PUERTO RICAN DAY

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PARADE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO

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DEPORT PUERTO RICANS.

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AND TO POLICE'S CREDIT, TO THEIR

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CREDIT, THEY HANDLED IT

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PERFECTLY.

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THEY KEPT EVERYBODY ON BOTH

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SIDES FAR ENOUGH APART SO NOBODY

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GOT HURT.

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BUT CLOSE ENOUGH SO THEY COULD

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STILL ROAST THE SHIT OUT OF EACH

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OTHER.

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>> YO, YO MAMA, [BLEEP],

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YO MAMA!

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> Roy: AH, YES.

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AH, YES.

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THE CLASSIC.

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NO WAY TO WIN AN ARGUMENT FASTER

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THAN

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"YO MAMA."

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YOU LOSE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU

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SAID.

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"DONALD TRUMP IS A POLITICAL

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PRISONER UNFAIRLY TARGETED BY

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THE POLITICAL SYSTEM."

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"YO MAMA, BITCH!"

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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I HATE YOU, YOU BLEED OUT.

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IT WAS A CRAZY SCENE DOWNTOWN,

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IT WAS WILD.

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ONE OF THE PEOPLE MAKING IT

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CRAZY WAS MARJORIE TAYLOR GRE

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GREENE.

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[BOOS]

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OH!

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MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE.

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SHE SWUNG DOWN TO THE

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COURTHOUSE,

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DOUBLE-PARKED HER BROOMSTICK,

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AND TOOK PART IN THE

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FESTIVITIES.

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TODAY, SHE OFFERED A DEFENSE OF

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THE PRESIDENT THAT I HAVE NEVER

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HEARD BEFORE.

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>> PRESIDENT TRUMP

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IS JOINING SOME OF THE MOST

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INCREDIBLE PEOPLE IN HISTORY

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BEING ARRESTED TODAY.

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NELSON MANDELA WAS ARRESTED,

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SERVED TIME IN PRISON.

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JESUS!

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JESUS WAS

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>> Roy: JESUS!

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JESUS!

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THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING TOO:

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JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS

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LADY?

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HOW YOU GOING TO COMPARE

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DONALD TRUMP TO JESUS?

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FIRST OF ALL, JESUS WALKED ON

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WATER.

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DONALD TRUMP CAN BARELY WALK ON

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LAND.

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NOW THE CRAZY THING ABOUT ALL OF

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THIS TODAY

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IS THAT DONALD TRUMP DIDN'T EVEN

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HAVE TO COME TO NEW YORK.

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HE COULD HAVE DONE THE WHOLE

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ARRAIGNMENT AT THE CRIB.

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CAUSE APPARENTLY THEY GAVE HIM

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THE OPTION TO BE ARRAIGNED OVER

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ZOOM!

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YOU KNOW, LIKE NELSON MANDELA

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AND JESUS.

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BUT I GET.

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I COMPLETELY GET WHY TRUMP

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DIDN'T DO OVER ZOOM.

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ONE, HE WOULD'VE GOTTEN ON

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CAMERA AND THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND

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MORE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS ON

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CAMERA.

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TWO, TRUMP WANTS PUBLICITY.

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LOOK AT HOW WE CAME OUT OF

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TRUMP TOWER THIS MORNING, GIVING

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THE BLACK POWER FAST LIKE A REAL

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POLITICAL PRISONER.

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HE LOVES THE SHIT LIKE THIS!

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HELL, TRUMP MIGHT SHOW HER UP TO

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COURT EVERY DAY DANCING ON TOP

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OF A CAR LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON.

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[SINGING LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON]

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AND THE MEDIA, MAN, WHAT DID

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THEY DO?

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THEY PLAYED RIGHT ALONG WITH IT,

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GIVING US WALL-TO-WALL COVERAGE,

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EVEN WHEN THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY

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NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!

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>> I WILL TURN TO YOU AND SHOW

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YOU, HE WILL COME OUT THE SIDE

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DOOR OF TRUMP TOWER TODAY, SO

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THERE IS A SENSE OF ANTICIPATION

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OF HIS MOVEMENT.

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>> YOU CAN SEE SOME OF THE

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TRAFFIC ON THE NORTHBOUND THERE,

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AND I AM NOT SURE -- I CAN'T

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REMEMBER AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD,

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I THINK THAT WAS ONE WAY.

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>> THE SOUTH.

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>> THE SOUTH.

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THAT IS NOT FIFTH AVENUE.

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>> I CHECKED

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IN AND THAT IS THE FASTEST

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ROUTE.

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>> DID YOU I SHOULD SEE THE

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FORMER PRESIDENT WALK OUT OR IS

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THAT JUST ME?

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THINK OF THAT IS DONALD TRUMP

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RIGHT THERE.

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>> I AM SORRY, THAT IS

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DONALD TRUMP.

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>> ANY MOMENT NOW COME EITHER

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FROM A PRISON WALK THROUGH THESE

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DOORS.

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>> THERE ARE MANY DOORS INTO THE

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COURTROOM, AND IT IS NOT JUST

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THIS ONE DOOR, THERE ARE SIDE

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DOORS AND THERE IS A BACKDOOR.

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>> THE PHOTOGRAPHER LASER

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FOCUSED ON THAT FRONT DOOR.

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>> AND MANY HALLWAYS THAT LEAD

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TO EACH DOOR.

270
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,533
>> IF HE DOES GO THROUGH THOSE

271
00:08:18,533 --> 00:08:20,533
DOORS, HE WILL COME BY THE

272
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:20,967
CAMERA.

273
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,100
>> THE JUDGE COMES AT A

274
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:23,933
DIFFERENT DOOR, THE JURY COMES

275
00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:26,667
IN ANOTHER DOOR, AND THE

276
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:27,667
DEFENDANT WHO IS INCARCERATED

277
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:28,400
COMES IN A DIFFERENT DOOR, THE

278
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,733
PUBLIC COMES IN A MAIN DOOR, SO

279
00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:32,100
THERE ARE MANY DOORS.

280
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:33,633
>> Roy: OKAY, SO LET ME GET

281
00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:34,467
THIS STRAIGHT.

282
00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:35,267
YOU ARE TELLING ME THE

283
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,067
COURTHOUSE HAS MULTIPLE DOORS.

284
00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:39,299
AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE COME

285
00:08:39,299 --> 00:08:40,366
THROUGH DIFFERENT DOORS AND

286
00:08:40,366 --> 00:08:41,299
THOSE DOORS CONNECT TO OTHER

287
00:08:41,299 --> 00:08:44,600
DOORS AND THOSE ARE ALL THE

288
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,133
DOORS.

289
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,633
DAMN, I'M LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT

290
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,100
THE LEGAL SYSTEM.

291
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:48,700
THANK YOU, CABLE NEWS.

292
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:52,367
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

293
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,700
NOW BUILDINGS GOT DOORS AND

294
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,500
SHIT, YOU LEARN STUFF.

295
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,767
NOW HERE IS WHAT BOTHERED ME

296
00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:58,967
ABOUT TODAY.

297
00:08:58,967 --> 00:08:59,900
I WILL SAY THIS.

298
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,900
DONALD TRUMP DESERVES A FAIR

299
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:03,267
TRIAL.

300
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:07,500
BUT I ALSO WANT TRUMP TO GET THE

301
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:08,233
FULL AMERICAN CRIMINAL JUSTICE

302
00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:10,767
EXPERIENCE, WHICH IS NOT WHAT

303
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,867
HAPPENED TODAY.

304
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:12,967
THE MAN GOT TO SCHEDULE HIS

305
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:14,067
VISIT TO THE COURTHOUSE LIKE EVA

306
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,600
CABLE MAN.

307
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,967
TRUMP COMES ACCORD, LISTEN, I

308
00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:20,600
WILL BE AT THE JAIL AT TUESDAY

309
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,567
BETWEEN 10:00 AND 2:00.

310
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,800
THEN, ONCE TRUMP GOT THERE,

311
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,233
THERE WERE NO HANDCUFFS, THERE

312
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,233
WERE NO MUG SHOTS, THERE WERE NO

313
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:28,667
PERP WALKS.

314
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,767
FOR TRUMP, IT WOULD BE A PERP

315
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:32,433
WADDLE BUT YOU UNDERSTAND.

316
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,933
THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE POINT.

317
00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:36,500
MY POINT IS, I AM DISAPPOINTED,

318
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,200
BECAUSE TODAY SHOWS YOU HOW

319
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,567
HUMANE OUR COURTS COULD BE.

320
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,167
SO MANY PEOPLE GET DRAGGED INTO

321
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:43,700
THIS LEGAL SYSTEM AND IT IS

322
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:44,133
HUMILIATING.

323
00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:46,333
YOU GET HANDCUFFED, YOU GET

324
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:47,800
GAWKED AT, YOU WAIT A DAY,

325
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:48,700
MONTHS FOR AN ARRAIGNMENT.

326
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,167
THEN YOU COME YOU GO INTO A

327
00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:51,600
BUILDING, THROUGH ONE OF THOSE

328
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,333
MANY [BLEEP] DOORS, YOU GET TO A

329
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,633
ROOM, THEY STRIP YOU NAKED, THEY

330
00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:57,667
SPREAD YOUR ASS CHEEKS AND MAKE

331
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:58,933
YOU COUGH TWICE.

332
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,433
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE SECOND

333
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:00,933
CLASS.

334
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,567
THE FIRST HALF, I GET.

335
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:03,567
ONE COUGH IS ENOUGH TO WHETHER

336
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,200
OR NOT I HAVE DRUGS IN MY BOOTY,

337
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,200
THE SECOND SECOND COPY IS FOR

338
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,567
YOU, THAT IS WRONG.

339
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:09,867
AM I SHARING TOO MUCH WITH Y'ALL

340
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:12,033
RIGHT NOW?

341
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,267
I THOUGHT I COULD OPEN UP TO

342
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,733
Y'ALL, APPARENTLY NOT.

343
00:10:15,733 --> 00:10:17,933
MY POINT IS, FOR THE SAKE OF

344
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:18,400
THIS COUNTRY,

345
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,167
I HOPE THAT DONALD TRUMP GETS A

346
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,733
SWIFT TRIAL.

347
00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:23,967
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE SHOULD

348
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:24,967
GET THE TSA PRE-CHECK LANE.

349
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:27,800
BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS:

350
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:28,833
THE NEW YORK INVESTIGATION IS

351
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,533
JUST ONE OF MANY INTO THE FORMER

352
00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,367
PRESIDENT.

353
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:33,867
SO WE WILL HAVE PLENTY OF OTHER

354
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,333
OPPORTUNITIES TO GET HIM

355
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:38,167
ARRESTED CORRECTLY.

356
00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:42,700
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

357
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:46,633
SO GEORGIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING,

358
00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:47,200
WHEN YOU FINALLY GET

359
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,267
DONALD TRUMP IN YOUR COURTROOM,

360
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:49,667
WASH BACK

361
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:52,667
MAKE SURE HE COUGHS TWICE.

362
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:56,600
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

363
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,400
THANK YOU FOR CLAPPING FOR THAT,

364
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,200
YOU KNOW, THAT WAS GOOD.

365
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,800
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS GOOD

366
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:01,733
ENOUGH TO GO VIRAL.

367
00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:04,200
I AM TRYING TO GO VIRAL THIS

368
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:04,700
WEEK, YOU KNOW?

369
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,133
IT IS A LOT OF PRESSURE AS GUEST

370
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,800
HOST, YOU GOT TO BE FUNNY, YOU

371
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,533
GOT TO BE SATIRICAL, YOU GOT TO

372
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,067
BE POWERFUL, YOU GOT TO GO

373
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:11,667
VIRAL.

374
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,300
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

375
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,633
I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY THAT I

376
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,333
COULD TALK TO, TO GUIDE ME

377
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,867
THROUGH SOME OF THIS STUFF, MAN.

378
00:11:18,867 --> 00:11:22,567
>> ROY...ROY...

379
00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:26,067
USE THE FORCE, ROY.

380
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,067
>> Roy: WHO THAT?

381
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,633
>> USE THE FORCE.

382
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:31,967
>> Roy: [BLEEP] GHOST?

383
00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:34,400
>> ROY, USE THE FORCE.

384
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:39,467
USE THE FORCE, ROY.

385
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:41,333
ROY!

386
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:57,500
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

387
00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:18,300
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

388
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,367
>> Roy: I KNOW YOU!

389
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,433
I KNOW YOU!

390
00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:21,867
I KNOW YOU!

391
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,833
I KNOW YOU.

392
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:30,067
I KNEW I KNEW YOUR ASS.

393
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:31,467
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

394
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:34,967
YOU ARE OBI-WAN KENOBI!

395
00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:35,467
>> I AM JON.

396
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:38,567
STEWART.

397
00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:39,967
I USED TO WORK HERE WHEN THE

398
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,800
BUDGET WASN'T AS BIG.

399
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,067
A FEW YEARS BACK.

400
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:47,467
ACTUALLY, I HOSTED A PROGRAM, TO

401
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,733
BE HONEST WITH YOU.

402
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,267
>> Roy: "THE DAILY SHOW" HAD A

403
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:51,433
WHITE HOST?

404
00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,633
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE OBI-WAN

405
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,200
KENOBI?

406
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,433
>> I LIKE TO BE COMFORTABLE.

407
00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:03,333
ROY, THE POINT IS THIS.

408
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,267
DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T --

409
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:05,167
>> Roy: IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN

410
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:08,533
KENOBI, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?

411
00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:10,200
IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN KENOBI, THAT

412
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,567
WOULD MAKE BE LUKE SKYWALKER.

413
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:13,533
>> WHY THE [BLEEP] WOULDN'T YOU

414
00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:14,667
WANT TO BE LUKE SKYWALKER?

415
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,933
>> Roy: LUKE SKYWALKER KISSED

416
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:17,633
HIS SISTER.

417
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:20,200
I WANT TO BE HAN SOLO, HE WAS

418
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:20,533
COOL.

419
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,933
YOU CAN BE CHEWBACCA.

420
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:27,300
>> WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE A WOLF

421
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:27,600
APE?

422
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,867
THAT DOESN'T MAKE -- LOOK, I

423
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,067
THINK IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE

424
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:31,900
IF I WAS THE WISE SAGE WHO

425
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:32,767
MENTORS THE YOUNG HOST AND NOT

426
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,067
THE WOLF ATE.

427
00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:37,767
ALSO, I CANNOT RETURN THIS ROBE.

428
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:40,567
WHAT HAPPENED WAS, THE EVENTS

429
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,167
THAT TOOK PLACE IN THIS --

430
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:42,900
>> Roy: BUT IF YOU ARE OBI-WAN

431
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:46,967
AND I AM LUKE, DOES THAT MEAN MY

432
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:47,433
DAD IS VADER?

433
00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:50,300
IF MY DAD IS DARTH VADER, DOES

434
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,700
THAT MEAN DONALD TRUMP IS MY

435
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,067
DAD?

436
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:53,500
I AM TRYING --

437
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,700
>> I KNOW THAT, ROY, WHY WOULD

438
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,800
DONALD TRUMP YOUR FATHER?

439
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,300
>> Roy: BECAUSE, IF I AM LUKE,

440
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,500
AND TRUMP IS VADER, THAT MEANS

441
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:03,067
TRUMP KILLED YOU!

442
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:07,100
>> WHAT?

443
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,067
YOU ARE HAN SOLO,

444
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,400
I'M BABY YODA.

445
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,467
>> Roy: WHY NOT REGULAR YODA?

446
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:15,133
>> WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU

447
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,433
TALKING ABOUT?

448
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:20,533
I SHOULD HAVE COME WHEN A

449
00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:21,900
SILVERMAN WAS HERE.

450
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,600
WHAT IS HAPPENING?

451
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,200
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

452
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,067
>> Roy: I GOT THIS, I GOT

453
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:26,633
THIS.

454
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,467
I WANT TO GO ALONG WITH YOU.

455
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,533
HOW ABOUT YOU BE YODA, BECAUSE

456
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:32,167
YOU ARE HOBBLED AND GREEN AND

457
00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:32,767
SHIT.

458
00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:35,067
AND I WILL BE LANDO.

459
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:38,600
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

460
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,800
I WILL BE LANDO, YOU KNOW.

461
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,333
>> IS THIS A TRAP?

462
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:48,767
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU BOTH HAVE

463
00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:49,133
>> Roy:

464
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,267
>> Roy: MUSTACHES, YEAH.

465
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,933
>> MY POINT IS THIS, ROY,

466
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,333
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON THE

467
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:56,700
PROGRAM.

468
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,300
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

469
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,067
THE THING ABOUT -- YOU ARE DOING

470
00:14:58,067 --> 00:15:00,467
A FABULOUS JOB, BY THE WAY.

471
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,167
>> Roy: THANK YOU, BROTHER.

472
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:04,567
>> THE THING ABOUT THIS HISTORIC

473
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:05,700
INDICTMENT IS THAT AMERICAN

474
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,800
JURISPRUDENCE --

475
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,133
>> Roy: WE ARE OUT OF TIME.

476
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:10,700
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.

477
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,567
JON STEWART, EVERYBODY!

478
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,300
THANK YOU, OBI-WAN, THANK YOU!

479
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:15,900
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

480
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,367
ALL RIGHT.

481
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:20,167
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE SEE WHAT

482
00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:21,133
JORDAN KLEPPER SAW AT THE

483
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,433
COURTHOUSE TODAY, SO DON'T GO

484
00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:22,767
AWAY!

485
00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:46,233
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

486
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:46,967
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

487
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:47,867
>> Roy: WELCOME BACK TO

488
00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:48,400
"THE DAILY SHOW."

489
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,167
AS WE SAW, A LOT OF CRAZY

490
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:53,200
CHARACTERS DOWN THERE AT THE

491
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:53,767
TRUMP RALLY TODAY.

492
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:54,867
NOW IF YOU LOOK AT THIS FOOTAGE

493
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:55,800
OF MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, LOOK

494
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,400
AT ALL THESE IDIOTS WITH NOTHING

495
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,267
BETTER TO DO ALL DAY.

496
00:15:59,267 --> 00:15:59,633
WEIGHT.

497
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,367
ZOOM IN ON MY MAN IN THE

498
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:05,067
BACKGROUND RIGHT THERE.

499
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:05,433
OH, MY GOD!

500
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:06,900
THERE IS JORDAN KLEPPER.

501
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,400
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

502
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,533
WHAT IS THAT IDIOT DOING DOWN

503
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,067
THERE?

504
00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:10,800
THAT IS A MORON.

505
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,100
HE IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS

506
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:12,467
WHIPPED.

507
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:16,333
>> I AM RIGHT HERE, ROY.

508
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:16,933
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

509
00:16:16,933 --> 00:16:19,400
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,

510
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:19,800
EVERYBODY!

511
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,100
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

512
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,633
I DIDN'T MEAN NONE OF THAT.

513
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:26,133
I DIDN'T MEAN NONE OF THAT.

514
00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:28,700
I AM HAPPY YOU ARE DOWN THERE

515
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:29,767
TODAY, JORDAN KLEPPER, AS THE

516
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,933
OLD SAYING GOES, BETTER YOU THAN

517
00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:32,400
ME.

518
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,467
WHAT WAS IT LIKE DOWN THERE?

519
00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:35,933
>> IT WAS PRETTY CHILL.

520
00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:37,800
RESPECTFUL CROWD WHO QUIETLY

521
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,300
SHOW THEIR SUPPORT FOR AMERICAN

522
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:40,967
JURISPRUDENCE.

523
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,067
>> Roy: I HAVE SEEN THE

524
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:44,867
FOOTAGE AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE

525
00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:45,367
[BLEEP] WITH ME.

526
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,700
>> I'M [BLEEP] WITH YOU, ROY.

527
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:48,900
IT WAS A SHIT SHOW.

528
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,733
AND I GOT A FRONT ROW SEAT TO

529
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:51,767
TAKE A BIG OLD WITH.

530
00:16:51,767 --> 00:16:53,133
TAKE A LOOK.

531
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:55,867
I WENT DOWNTOWN TO WATCH TRUMP

532
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:56,900
HISTORIC ARREST AND THE

533
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:57,933
SURROUNDING MEDIA CIRCUS.

534
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,167
BUT I WAS CURIOUS HOW A HOMETOWN

535
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,833
BOY DONALD TRUMP WOULD BE

536
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:03,600
GREETED BY REGULAR NEW YORKERS.

537
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,333
>> [BLEEP] TRUMP, MAN.

538
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:07,067
>> WHAT WAS THERE TO SEE?

539
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,567
>> TRUMP IS DONE!

540
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:12,300
YES, HE DOES!

541
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:16,633
>> DONALD TRUMP, THAT [BLEEP]!

542
00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:19,666
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

543
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:22,467
>> ALSO APPEARING WHERE SOME OF

544
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,099
THE MOST RESPECTED AND

545
00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:26,267
ARTICULATE MEMBERS OF THE

546
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:30,100
REPUBLICAN PARTY.

547
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:30,900
>> [INSTINCT]

548
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,567
>> YES, RISING STARS OF THE

549
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:35,500
G.O.P. CAME OUT IN FORCE.

550
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,267
>> IF ANYBODY CAN GET

551
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,733
DONALD TRUMP OFF TODAY, IT IS

552
00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:40,567
AMERICA'S LEAD DEFENSE ATTORNEY,

553
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:43,633
GEORGE SANTOS, WHO IS A HARVARD

554
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:45,133
LAW GRAD.

555
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:47,067
ARE YOU FINALLY BRINGING

556
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:47,833
LEGITIMACY?

557
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,333
ARE YOU FINALLY BRINGING

558
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:56,433
LEGITIMACY TO THIS?

559
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:59,533
>> TELL ME ABOUT THE VOLLEYBALL

560
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,067
TOURNAMENT.

561
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:07,533
>> TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS.

562
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:08,067
>> I SURE DID.

563
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:08,967
>> AS FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE

564
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:14,067
UNITED STATES, DO YOU FEEL --

565
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:14,600
>> JORDAN, JORDAN --

566
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,633
>> TALK TO ME --

567
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:20,067
>> I'VE NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION

568
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:20,533
LIKE THAT.

569
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,467
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT OUR NATIONS

570
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,367
FUTURE.

571
00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:25,267
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

572
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,700
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,

573
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:28,500
EVERYBODY.

574
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:34,067
IF NOBODY ELSE HA

575
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:34,967
JORDAN, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR

576
00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:36,267
ALL YOU HAVE DONE BECAUSE I KNOW

577
00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:38,500
IT TAKES A LOT OUT OF YOU.

578
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,067
>> THANK YOU, ROY, I'M LOOKING

579
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,567
FORWARD TO A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.

580
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,600
>> Roy: NO, YOU GOT TO GO DOWN

581
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,867
THERE, WE NEED MORE SHIT FOR

582
00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:45,333
TOMORROW.

583
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:45,733
>> OKAY.

584
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,333
YOU ARE THE BOSS.

585
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,133
FOR THIS WEEK.

586
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:51,767
>> Roy: JORDAN KLEPPER,

587
00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:52,167
EVERYBODY!

588
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:52,767
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

589
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:53,167
ALL RIGHT.

590
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:54,333
STAY TUNED,

591
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:55,633
BECAUSE WHEN WE COME BACK,

592
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:56,400
ROBIN THEDE WILL BE JOINING ME

593
00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:10,333
ON THE SHOW.

594
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:10,600
ON THE SHOW.

595
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:17,567
[cheering]

596
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,833
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.

597
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,967
My guest tonight is
the creator and star

598
00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:26,767
of the Emmy-winning HBO series
A Black Lady Sketch Show.

599
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,567
You gonna play
this rematch, OK?

600
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,433
Because ever since I
got these hair plugs in,

601
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:32,900
my luck has flipped faster
than a pig on a spit.

602
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,433
And I should know
because at my job,

603
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:35,767
I put the pig on the spit.

604
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,867
And I crack that thing.

605
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,800
Wait a minute.

606
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:39,800
Wait a minute.

607
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,067
Come here just an inch.

608
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,433
Oh.

609
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:46,200
(WHISPERING) 1, 2, 3.

610
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:49,067
Oh, my god, those look
suspiciously like my Locks

611
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:50,200
of Black Love donation.

612
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:53,367
Yeah, so they gave the
extras to Weave in Need,

613
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,333
and I was the neediest.

614
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,100
Please, welcome Robin Thede.

615
00:19:57,133 --> 00:20:04,100
[cheering]

616
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:07,967
ROBIN THEDE: Thank you.

617
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,433
Oh!

618
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,900
Oh, my god.

619
00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:14,267
Robin Thede!

620
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,400
Oh, my god.

621
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:17,233
Listen, I wore my Trump orange.

622
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:18,933
We are reclaiming this color.

623
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,333
[cheering]

624
00:20:20,367 --> 00:20:22,567
We are ready.

625
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,167
Yeah, no, it's-- what a
day to be in New York.

626
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,367
What a day to be in New York.

627
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,567
[cheering]

628
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,267
It feels like Christmas
and just prom,

629
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,967
just everything
wrapped into one.

630
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,233
I drove by Trump Tower.

631
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,067
They were screaming,
lock him up.

632
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,733
It was just really--

633
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:42,500
[cheering]

634
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,333
I'm here for the
trial, you know?

635
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,700
I'm here for the looting.

636
00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:47,500
I need a TV.
- Yeah.

637
00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:48,500
No, that's fair.

638
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:49,767
That's fair.

639
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,400
But do you really ever need
an excuse to loot, Roy?

640
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:52,400
I think--

641
00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:53,533
[laughter]

642
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:56,533
Speaking of Trump,
now, before you

643
00:20:56,567 --> 00:20:57,567
got the HBO series--

644
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,800
Yeah.

645
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:02,067
--your journey through
unscripted television, you

646
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,267
had your own television show--

647
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,333
I did.

648
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,367
ROY WOOD, JR.: --on
BET, The Rundown.

649
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,433
Shots out to that.
- Yes, thank you.

650
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:07,433
Where you
quarterbacked a lot of--

651
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,433
No one in the
audience saw it.

652
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:09,400
That's fine.

653
00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:10,500
--different political topics.

654
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:12,733
That's why it was
canceled-- you people!

655
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:13,733
No, it was fine.

656
00:21:13,767 --> 00:21:15,500
Prior to that,
The Nightly Show

657
00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:17,133
with Larry Wilmore, which
was on this network--

658
00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:18,133
Yes, yes, yes.

659
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,433
--where you were--

660
00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:21,900
and correct me if I'm
wrong-- the first Black woman

661
00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:23,800
head writer in the
history of unscripted,

662
00:21:23,833 --> 00:21:24,900
late-night television.

663
00:21:24,933 --> 00:21:28,667
[cheering]

664
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:30,167
And you wrote for the
Correspondents Dinner.

665
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,967
How much do you miss this
world and talking about Trump?

666
00:21:33,067 --> 00:21:35,067
Because Black Lady Sketch
Show, so much of it

667
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:36,600
is about the Black
experience and just

668
00:21:36,633 --> 00:21:38,900
the unique perspectives that
people may not necessarily

669
00:21:38,933 --> 00:21:41,233
look through what
Black women go through

670
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,267
and what Black women deal
with from a funny perspective.

671
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,300
So--
- Yeah, very Trump heavy.

672
00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:45,300
- Yeah.
- No.

673
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:46,400
[laughs]
- Not at all.

674
00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:48,367
Not in the least.
How much do you miss--

675
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,967
I don't miss it at all.

676
00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,233
I have to be honest.

677
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:53,667
Like, it's not like I don't
keep up with the news.

678
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:54,733
Obviously, I am.

679
00:21:54,767 --> 00:21:56,067
My mother has been
in politics forever.

680
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:57,867
Like, it's very
important to me.

681
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,700
But I don't miss
having to make fun

682
00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:04,567
of something that has already
made fun of itself so much.

683
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,433
You know, but I truly--

684
00:22:06,467 --> 00:22:08,567
I mean, you have gotten
me-- it's actually

685
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,633
your fault that I'm really
interested in everything

686
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:12,067
that's going on.

687
00:22:12,067 --> 00:22:15,200
Because your Gwyneth Paltrow
trial coverage was so funny,

688
00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:18,733
and I was like, I
cannot wait, right?

689
00:22:18,767 --> 00:22:20,533
[cheering]

690
00:22:20,567 --> 00:22:22,333
So good.

691
00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:24,267
And I was literally on
the edge of my seat,

692
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:25,633
watching your take on it.

693
00:22:25,667 --> 00:22:27,333
And so I was like, what is
this Trump trial going to be?

694
00:22:27,367 --> 00:22:29,967
Is he going to just try
to represent himself?

695
00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:32,167
Is he going to get up and say,
you can't handle the truth,

696
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,167
and then his wig falls off?

697
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,800
Like, what's going to happen?

698
00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:37,167
I don't know, but I'm excited
to have you covering it.

699
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,400
I'm excited to have
you at this desk.

700
00:22:39,433 --> 00:22:40,400
Well, thank you, Robin.

701
00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:41,400
Thank you, love.

702
00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:42,933
[cheering]

703
00:22:42,967 --> 00:22:45,967
So your program--

704
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,067
Oh, yeah, my program.

705
00:22:47,067 --> 00:22:48,933
Your program, Black
Lady Sketch Show,

706
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:50,100
entering its fourth season.

707
00:22:50,133 --> 00:22:51,167
- Crazy.
- You have--

708
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,167
[cheering]

709
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,167
Crazy.

710
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,200
It's so good, you guys.

711
00:22:55,233 --> 00:22:58,167
And not just in front of the
camera, but all of the Black

712
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,167
women that you employ
behind the camera.

713
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,300
You're big on diversity.

714
00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:03,067
You're big on
showing Black women--

715
00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:04,433
Yeah

716
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:07,233
--and putting-- and giving--
putting them on a pedestal.

717
00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:10,167
In this era of so many
other channels going,

718
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,867
we don't know what
diversity is, where

719
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:14,200
is the talented Black women--

720
00:23:14,233 --> 00:23:15,200
Oh, my god, get out of here.

721
00:23:15,233 --> 00:23:16,567
--where do you find them?

722
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,200
How you-- did you
hire all of them?

723
00:23:18,233 --> 00:23:20,167
Listen, we are--
no, no, I did not.

724
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,467
I did not.
I did not.

725
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,733
That's why it's a
diversity problem.

726
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:24,233
You hired all the
Black women for good.

727
00:23:24,267 --> 00:23:27,467
[laughs] There are so
many talented Black women

728
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,700
out here and women of color.

729
00:23:28,733 --> 00:23:29,700
There's so many.

730
00:23:29,733 --> 00:23:31,067
[cheering]

731
00:23:31,067 --> 00:23:32,367
There are so many.

732
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,200
People-- look,
people didn't know

733
00:23:35,233 --> 00:23:36,667
who I was really
till Larry Wilmore

734
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:37,833
put me on The Nightly Show.

735
00:23:37,867 --> 00:23:40,433
People didn't know who a
lot of these people are.

736
00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:43,167
I mean, so many great people
have come through our show,

737
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,633
everybody from Angela Bassett--

738
00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,800
[cheering]

739
00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:48,833
--who said to me, I did
the show because no one

740
00:23:48,867 --> 00:23:50,100
asked me to do comedy.

741
00:23:50,133 --> 00:23:52,233
And I'm like, if you
can play Tina Turner,

742
00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:54,167
you can do a sketch.

743
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,733
You know, and so for
me it's like the talent

744
00:23:56,767 --> 00:24:00,500
from that level to little
YouTube or TikTokers.

745
00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,467
I love-- there's room
for all of us there.

746
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:06,067
And I find talent
by opening my eyes.

747
00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:07,467
Like, and that's what
people need to do.

748
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,567
They're everywhere.

749
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,533
We are everywhere doing
this-- in standup,

750
00:24:10,567 --> 00:24:12,633
in improv, in sketch,
on YouTube, on TikTok,

751
00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:13,967
on all these platforms.

752
00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:16,200
So I think you just got to
be willing to see the truth

753
00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:19,400
and let Black women
authentically tell it.

754
00:24:19,433 --> 00:24:21,600
Don't write it for us.

755
00:24:21,633 --> 00:24:24,800
Don't cast us, and
then write for us.

756
00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:27,267
Let us write for us, and then
it's going to feel legit.

757
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,600
You know what I mean?

758
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,867
You can tell when a Black
person is like, oh, my god,

759
00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:32,133
did you guys get the
new Taylor Swift?

760
00:24:32,167 --> 00:24:34,200
I'm like, who wrote this?

761
00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:35,833
No shame, Taylor
Swift has Black fans,

762
00:24:35,867 --> 00:24:37,200
but I'm just saying,
like, it feels--

763
00:24:37,233 --> 00:24:38,667
our show-- I think
the key to our show

764
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:39,833
is that it feels authentic.

765
00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:40,933
ROY WOOD, JR.: Absolutely.

766
00:24:40,967 --> 00:24:42,867
You know, so I think
that's what's dope.

767
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,333
- Give me--
- Woo!

768
00:24:44,367 --> 00:24:45,500
Give me one--
yeah, woo.

769
00:24:45,533 --> 00:24:46,500
I love a good woo.

770
00:24:46,533 --> 00:24:47,867
Woo!

771
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:52,500
Give me one character
because you are essentially--

772
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:53,933
you're the Lorne
Michaels of this.

773
00:24:53,967 --> 00:24:55,567
You're the Michael Che.
You're the Colin Jost.

774
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:56,567
You're the Kenan Thompson.
You're the writers.

775
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:57,667
Wow.

776
00:24:57,700 --> 00:24:58,567
You're all the people
behind the scenes.

777
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,633
That's a lot.
Thank you.

778
00:24:59,667 --> 00:25:02,267
You built this entire thing.

779
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:03,733
So you have this
array of characters.

780
00:25:03,767 --> 00:25:05,267
Give me one character
that you think--

781
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:06,400
Yeah.

782
00:25:06,433 --> 00:25:08,833
Which one resonates
the most with people?

783
00:25:08,867 --> 00:25:10,233
Well, I don't know
if it's resonates,

784
00:25:10,267 --> 00:25:12,500
but the definitely the one who
causes the most controversy

785
00:25:12,533 --> 00:25:14,700
and who people always
quote to me is Dr. Hadassah

786
00:25:14,733 --> 00:25:16,300
Olayinka Ali-Youngman, PhD.

787
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:18,133
[cheering]

788
00:25:18,167 --> 00:25:19,433
ROY WOOD, JR.: I'm sorry.

789
00:25:19,467 --> 00:25:20,600
Who is this character?

790
00:25:20,633 --> 00:25:22,700
ROBIN THEDE: This is our
Dr. Hadassah Olayinka

791
00:25:22,733 --> 00:25:24,733
Ali-Youngman, pre-PhD.

792
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:28,067
She is a Hertep, which is a
female version of a Hotep.

793
00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:30,200
So she believes that women
should not be working.

794
00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:31,533
Although she has a talk show.

795
00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:33,200
She believes that women
should not wear shoes.

796
00:25:33,233 --> 00:25:34,467
Although she does.

797
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:37,200
So she's just kind of a
hypocrite who kind of spews

798
00:25:37,233 --> 00:25:39,667
these conspiracy theories
and says things like, see,

799
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:45,500
see, see, if you break down the
word bacon, it means bay con.

800
00:25:45,533 --> 00:25:48,233
They're trying to get us to
cozy up to the conspiracy.

801
00:25:48,267 --> 00:25:51,267
And it's just like,
what does this mean?

802
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,633
What does this mean?

803
00:25:52,667 --> 00:25:54,767
So, yeah, so she's
a lot of fun.

804
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,400
She's a lot of fun.

805
00:25:56,433 --> 00:25:59,067
People tend to scream,
see, see, see, at me down

806
00:25:59,067 --> 00:26:00,067
the street, which is great.

807
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,433
Well, I can relate
to the character

808
00:26:01,467 --> 00:26:03,367
because I follow a lot of
people like that on Facebook.

809
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,600
I'm so happy you came.

810
00:26:04,633 --> 00:26:05,600
[laughs]

811
00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:07,067
Black Lady
Sketch Show returns

812
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,167
for its fourth season--

813
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,167
Yes!

814
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,133
--April 14 on
HBO and HBO Max.

815
00:26:12,167 --> 00:26:14,067
OK, we're going to
take a quick break.

816
00:26:14,067 --> 00:26:15,633
But we'll be right
back after this.

817
00:26:15,667 --> 00:26:16,767
Robin Thede, everybody.

818
00:26:20,667 --> 00:26:21,133
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

819
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:41,067
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

820
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:41,733
>> Roy: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR

821
00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:43,833
TONIGHT, BUT BEFORE WE GO:

822
00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:44,567
PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING THE

823
00:26:44,567 --> 00:26:45,933
FLORIDA RIGHTS RESTORATION

824
00:26:45,933 --> 00:26:46,767
COALITION.

825
00:26:46,767 --> 00:26:48,767
THEY'RE DEDICATED TO ENDING

826
00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:51,067
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST PEOPLE

827
00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:51,833
WITH CONVICTIONS, AND CREATING A

828
00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:52,567
MORE COMPREHENSIVE AND HUMANE

829
00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:53,967
REENTRY SYSTEM.

830
00:26:53,967 --> 00:26:54,767
IF YOU CAN, PLEASE DONATE AT THE

831
00:26:54,767 --> 00:26:55,500
LINK BELOW.

832
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:56,067
NOW HERE IT IS.

833
00:26:56,067 --> 00:26:56,667
YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN."

834
00:26:56,667 --> 00:26:58,200
>> IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.

835
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,167
COULD BE.