1 00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,903 ♪ ♪ Announcer: FROM NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT 2 00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:13,480 INVENTED NEWS. THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH YOUR HOST, MARLON WAYANS! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:32,632 ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: HEY! WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW!" 4 00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:42,375 I'M MARLON WAYANS. AND THIS IS MY THIRD NIGHT HOSTING THE SHOW! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 5 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:49,215 WHICH MEANS THEY HAVEN'T CANCELED US YET. BUT HEY, WE GOT ONE MORE NIGHT. LET'S GET IT! 6 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:57,957 SO LET'S GO INTO THE HEADLINES! ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW," SO 7 00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:05,465 LET'S TALK ABOUT FOX NEWS. THEY ARE DEALING WITH A BIG LAWSUIT RIGHT NOW AND BECAUSE OF IT COME A BUNCH OF FOX NEWS 8 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:09,335 HOSTS HAD TO GIVE UP ALL OF THEIR TEXTS. SO WE'VE BEEN FINDING OUT WHAT THEY REALLY THINK ABOUT 9 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:15,775 DONALD TRUMP. AND IT'S HILARIOUS. ACCORDING TO COURT DOCUMENTS, HOST TUCKER CARLSON TEXTED A 10 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:23,183 PRODUCER ON JANUARY 4TH, 2021: "WE ARE VERY, VERY CLOSE TO BEING ABLE TO IGNORE TRUMP MOST NIGHTS." 11 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:29,322 REFERRING TO TRUMP, CARLSON SAID, "I HATE HIM PASSIONATELY. I CAN'T HANDLE MUCH MORE OF THIS." 12 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:33,126 CARLSON ADDED, "WE'RE ALL PRETENDING WE'VE GOT A LOT TO SHOW FOR IT, BECAUSE ADMITTING WHAT DISASTER IT'S BEEN IS TOO 13 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:41,067 TOUGH TO DIGEST. BUT COME ON. THERE REALLY ISN'T A UPSIDE TO TRUMP." 14 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:53,012 Marlon: OH! OOH! THAT'S FIGHTING WORDS! WHITE ON WHITE CRIME, LET'S GO! 15 00:01:53,012 --> 00:02:03,957 [LAUGHTER] I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD, BUT THEIR MAKEUP SEX IS GONNA BE SO MUCH HOTTER. 16 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:09,762 YOU KNOW AT FOX NEWS, IF THEY WANT TO KEEP THEIR SHIT QUIET, THEY SHOULD DO WHAT CRACK DEALERS TO. 17 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:15,368 USE A PLAY FORM. "YO, IT'S TUCKER. I JUST WANTED TO SAY: BLACK LIVES MATTER. 18 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:19,639 THEY REALLY DO! AIGHT, HIT ME BACK ON MY BURNER." I AM ENJOYING THIS, THOUGH! 19 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:28,381 I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE WHOSE PRIVATE TEXTS WERE SO OPPOSITE FROM HIS PUBLIC PERSONA. THIS IS LIKE FINDING OUT 20 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:41,861 NIKKI HALEY HAS A BLACKCENT. "OH, HELL, NO. SORRY, BOO-BOO." "IF I'M BEING HONEST, I DO FEEL 21 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,298 FOR TUCKER A LITTLE, BECAUSE IT'S BRUTAL WHEN YOUR PRIVATE SHIT-TALK GETS PUT OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THAT. 22 00:02:45,298 --> 00:03:07,887 IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO MY BROTHERS JUST THIS WEEK. [TEXT MESSAGE NOTIFICATION SOUNDS] 23 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:19,399 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, LET'S LET'S MOVE ON. I JUST FLEW IN FROM L.A. THIS WEEK, AND I'M GLAD I WASN'T ON 24 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:25,071 THIS FLIGHT. UNITED FLIGHT 2609 WAS JUST 45 MINUTES FROM LANDING IN BOSTON. 25 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:30,276 I WILL KILL EVERY MAN ON THIS PLANE! WHEN PROSECUTORS SAY 32-YEAR-OLD FRANCISCO TORRES 26 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:40,687 WENT ON AN INCOHERENT RANT AFTER TRYING TO OPEN ONE OF THE PLANE'S EMERGENCY EXITS. I'M TAKING OVER THIS PLANE. 27 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:44,424 TELL THEM TO BRING S.W.A.T. TO SHOOT ME DOWN BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SHOOT ME DOWN TODAY. 28 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,660 THEN RUSHING AND STABBING A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WITH A SPOON HE'D BROKEN IN THE LAVATORY. FELLOW PASSENGERS QUICKLY 29 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:57,403 TACKLED AND SUBDUED HIM. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: WOW! THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY! 30 00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:06,879 MY FAVORITE PART IS HOW NOBODY DID ANYTHING UNTIL THE VERY END. [LAUGHS] THE GUY IN THE AISLE SEAT, HE 31 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:17,924 JUST GOT UP TO LET THE DUDE BY. "OH, YOU BACK? HERE." [LAUGHS] 32 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:24,330 "OH, YOU NEED A SPOON? HERE YOU GO, BROTHER." [LAUGHS] ONCE THEY SAW THE GUY HAD A 33 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:32,472 SPOON, EVERYONE GOT REAL BRAVE. EVERYONE WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOD, ASK MY KIDS GOT A KNIFE! OH, SHIT, THAT'S A SPOON? 34 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:51,424 I WILL BEAT HIM UP. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ALWAYS BET ON A BLACK [BLEEP]! AND YOU CAN TELL THIS GUY WAS 35 00:04:51,424 --> 00:05:01,367 GOING TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE HE'S GOT THOSE CRAZY EYES. THEY SHOULD HAVE LIKE THIS GUY BEFORE HE GOT ON THE PLANE. 36 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:11,411 TSA GOT TO STOP RACIAL PROFILING AND START CRAZY PROFILING. [APPLAUSE] "I'M SORRY, SIR, I CAN SEE YOUR 37 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:18,818 ENTIRE EYEBALL LIKE A [BLEEP] MUPPET, YOU CANNOT GET ON THIS PLANE. I'M SORRY." 38 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:25,124 LET'S MOVE ON! SOME NEWS OUT OF SOCIAL MEDIA. THERE IS A NEW FILTER ON TIKTOK AND IT IS GOING TO MESS YOU UP. 39 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:29,996 A NEW BEAUTY TREND GOING VIRAL ON TIKTOK, THE BOLD GLAM LOOK THAT'S CAUSING A STIR BECAUSE OF ITS DRASTIC FILTER. 40 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:34,367 I JUST WOKE UP. THIS IS NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW. THIS FILTER SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. 41 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:39,605 HERE'S THE REAL ME! OH, GOSH. AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO BELIEVE FILTERS LIKE THIS ARE 42 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:45,878 SETTING UNREALISTIC STANDARDS OF BEAUTY FOR YOUNG GIRLS OR CREATING A SENSE OF FALSE ADVERTISING. 43 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:53,252 Marlon: GODDAMN! THAT'S NOT A FILTER. THAT IS WITCHCRAFT. COME ON, TIKTOK. 44 00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:59,192 YOU DON'T NEED A FILTER LIKE THIS. WE ALREADY HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK HOTTER. 45 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:07,834 IT'S CALLED TEQUILA. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IF YOU ASK ME, IT IS A SCARIEST THING I'VE SEEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA 46 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:21,414 SINCE ANY POST BY CHET HANKS. [INDISTINCT JAMAICAN ACCENT] Marlon: [LAUGHS] I AM SORRY, TOM, I ONLY HAVE ONE 47 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:29,322 MORE DAY, I PROMISE, THAT'S ALL. REAL TALK, THOUGH, THESE BUILDERS HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. THE TRUTH IS, EVERYONE IS 48 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:41,200 BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, WE KNOW THAT SHIT AIN'T TRUE. DON'T TELL THE UGGOS THOUGH, 49 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:57,016 THEY WILL HAVE A REVOLT. WE ARE ALL GORGEOUS. [LAUGHS] IN FACT, FORGET A BEAUTY FILTER. 50 00:06:57,016 --> 00:07:01,254 I WANT AN UGLY FILTER. I WANT A FILTER THAT MAKES ME LOOK WORSE. GIVES ME ACNE, [BLEEP] UP MY 51 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:07,460 FACE. THEN, WHEN PEOPLE MEET ME IN REAL LIFE, THEY'RE IMPRESSED. "DAMN, MARLON, YOU REALLY 52 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:17,837 CLEANED UP! ALL YOUR COLD SORES ARE GONE!" LOOK, WE NEED TO ASK OURSELVES TWO QUESTIONS. 53 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:21,741 HOW CAN WE MAKE WOMEN LESS SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THE WAY THEY LOOK? AND HOW CAN WE MAKE MEN MORE 54 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:30,183 SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THE WAY THEY LOOK? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] BECAUSE MEN WILL CONFIDENTLY 55 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:35,488 SEND THE UGLIEST PICTURES OF THEIR DICKS. TO ANYBODY. IT'S POORLY LIT. 56 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:44,030 BAD ANGLE. CROOKED AND SHIT. SKINNY IN THE MIDDLE. LOOKING LIKE A RANCID SLIM JIM. 57 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:52,672 CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH US HOW TO FEEL SHAME? AND FINALLY, TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY. 58 00:07:52,672 --> 00:08:01,347 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND HERE'S HOW THE WORLD'S TOP FEMINIST ORGANIZATION IS CELEBRATING. 59 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:06,018 MATTEL IS CELEBRATING INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY WITH SEVEN NEW ROLE MODELS. THE NEW BARBIE LINEUP WAS 60 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:13,159 INSPIRED BY THE LIKENESS OF FEMALE LEADERS IN S.T.E.M. FIELDS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. THE COMPANY HOPES THE ROLE 61 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:24,103 MODELS, INCLUDING FORMER YOUTUBE CEO AND A U.K. SCIENTIST, WILL INSPIRE THE NEXT GENERATION OF GIRLS TO PURSUE THEIR PASSIONS 62 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:29,275 DESPITE WOMEN BEING UNDERREPRESENTED IN S.T.E.M. FIELDS. Marlon: THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. 63 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:43,155 KIDS LEARN SO MUCH FROM THE TOYS THEY PLAY WITH. YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE SCIENTIST DOLLS THAT CAN SCISSOR 64 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:49,862 EACH OTHER. FOR MORE ON THIS STORY, WE TURN TO DESI LYDIC. DESI! 65 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:59,238 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] HOW DID YOUR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY GO? WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING. 66 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:02,875 IT STARTED OUT SO GREAT! THIS MORNING, THE RANDOM GUY WHO USUALLY YELLS "NICE ASS" INSTEAD YELLED, "I RESPECT YOUR 67 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:13,552 NICE ASS." AND THIS IS WHY WE MARCH. SO, YEAH, I WAS FEELING PRETTY GOOD. 68 00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:17,990 I MEAN, AT LEAST I WAS UNTIL I SAW THIS BARBIE STORY. Marlon: YOU DON'T LIKE THESE BRAND NEW BARBIES? 69 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:21,894 BUT THEY'RE SO ACCOMPLISHED. THEY'VE GOT SCIENTISTS, THEY'VE GOT THE YOUTUBE CEO. OH, YEAH, EQUALLY GREAT ROLE 70 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:30,002 MODELS. YOU COULD BE A SCIENTIST WHO HELPS HUMANITY, OR YOU COULD DESIGN A YOUTUBE ALGORITHM THAT 71 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:41,080 SAYS, "HEY, KIDS, IF YOU LIKE PEPPA PIG, YOU'LL LOVE QANON. Marlon: OKAY, THAT'S FAIR. 72 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,317 BUT SOME OF THEM ARE DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS, AND ONE OF THEM IS A PROFESSOR. I KNOW, THEY'RE ALL SO 73 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:53,759 SUCCESSFUL! [BLEEP] THOSE BARBIE'S [BLEEP] THEM. IT IS BAD ENOUGH 74 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:59,198 BARBIE WAS ALWAYS HOTTER AND NOW SHE'S SMARTER THAN ME, TOO? I WANT A DOLL THAT MAKES ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY BODY, NOT MY MIND! 75 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:07,540 Marlon: SO ARE YOU SAYING WE SHOULD GET RID OF THESE BARBIES? WELL, NO, NOT NECESSARILY. WHY CAN'T WE ALSO HAVE SOME 76 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:14,880 MEDIOCRE BARBIES WHO DON'T MAKE US FEEL PRESSURED? RIGHT? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 77 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,651 MEDIOCRITY. NOT EVERY BARBIE HAS TO BE A GIRLBOSS. LET'S HAVE A BARBIE WHO'S A 78 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:30,930 PARALEGAL AT A MIDSIZE LAW FIRM. OR ONE WHO WORKS THE LUNCH SHIFT AT A JUST SALAD. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH 79 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:36,402 BARBIES WHO ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. Marlon: BUT AREN'T BARBIES 80 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:43,442 SUPPOSED TO BE ASPIRATIONAL? NO. NO, MARLON, THEY'RE NOT. GIVE ME A BARBIE WHO'S OKAY WITH 81 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:51,984 LETTING 5,000 EMAILS PILE UP IN HER INBOX. OKAY? THE BARBIE WHO SPILLED COFFEE ON 82 00:10:51,984 --> 00:11:04,130 HER SHIRT BUT KNOWS SHE CAN STILL GET ANOTHER DAY OUT OF IT IF SHE PUTS A BLAZER ON TOP. THE BARBIE WHO SPENDS HER FRIDAY 83 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:13,739 NIGHTS IN BED BINGE WATCHING ""VANDERPUMP RULES,"" DUNKING CARROT STICKS INTO A JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER, 84 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:20,012 AND LETTING HER KIDS GET TO TAE KWON DO. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP JUDGING BECOME A MARLON. 85 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:24,250 Marlon: THOSE FEEL VERY SPECIFIC. YOU WERE TO SPECIFIC. THE POINT IS, THEY DON'T ALL 86 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,720 HAVE TO BE ROCK STARS. YOU THINK EVERY KEN IS A NOBEL-PRIZE WINNING AERONAUTICAL ENGINEER? 87 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:34,093 NO! HE'S JUST A MAN WITH A CAR AND A PUBIC MOUND AND WE ALL ACCEPT HIM. 88 00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:41,100 THAT'S WHAT I WANT! THE DREAM OF EVERY WOMAN. TO BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS AN AVERAGE WHITE MAN. 89 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:49,675 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE WOMEN ACHIEVING THEIR DREAMS. 90 00:11:49,675 --> 00:12:01,187 I'M SORRY, ARE YOU MANSPLAINING MY DREAMS TO ME? ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY? [BOOS] 91 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,423 WHAT? REALLY? Marlon: OH, NO, I WOULDN'T DARE. 92 00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:12,198 I FEEL LIKE HE WANTED TO. Marlon: I SWEAR I WAS NOT. DESI LYDIC, PLEASE, EVERYBODY! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 93 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:17,103 I PROMISE YOU I WASN'T. I FEEL LIKE YOU WERE. Marlon: I WASN'T. ALL RIGHT, WHEN WE COME BACK, 94 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,804 WE'LL ASK YOU WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE OSCARS! 95 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:53,890 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: WELCOME BACK TO "THE DAILY SHOW." 96 00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:57,994 THE OSCARS ARE THIS WEEKEND, SO I THOUGHT I'D HIT THE STREETS AND ASK THE PEOPLE IN HARLEM WHICH MOVIES THEY THINK SHOULD 97 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:02,164 WIN. TAKE A LOOK. FIRST OF ALL, ARE YOU A MOVIE BUFF? 98 00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:06,769 YES. Marlon: ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE OSCARS? YEAH. 99 00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:14,310 Marlon: WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK WILL WIN BEST PICTURE? YOU THINK IT WILL BE "TOP GUN?" "AVATAR" OR ONE OF THE MOVIES I 100 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:19,615 DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT? ONE OF THE MOVIES I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. DESCRIBE "EVERYTHING 101 00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:23,119 EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE." BEAUTIFUL. GOD IS BLESSED. Marlon: DID YOU SEE THE 102 00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:27,123 MOVIE? NO. Marlon: THE MOVIE "TAR"? DESCRIBE IT. 103 00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:31,694 SOUNDS LIKE A HORROR MOVIE. Marlon: WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT "WOMEN TALKING?" "WOMEN TALKING? 104 00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:39,902 I MEAN, YOU HAVE WOMEN TALKING ON THE TIME, DON'T YOU? WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? I AM TRYING NOT TO GET AS 105 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:44,941 CONFUSED AS TO WHAT WOMEN WOULD BE TALKING ABOUT BUT WOMEN CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. Marlon: WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR 106 00:13:44,941 --> 00:13:49,512 WOMAN TO GO SEE "WOMEN TALKING"? I DON'T THINK SHE WOULD EVEN WANT TO SEE "WOMEN TALKING." Marlon: BUT WOULD YOU BE 107 00:13:49,512 --> 00:13:54,183 TALKING WHILE THE WOMEN ARE TALKING? SHE DEFINITELY WOULD. WOMEN TALK. 108 00:13:54,183 --> 00:14:03,326 Marlon: SOME GUY GOT NOMINATED THIS YEAR, CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR BEST IMPERSONATION? YOU KNOW, I CAN DO THE DANCE 109 00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:09,632 MOVES. [LAUGHTER] Marlon: IF YOU HAD TO DO A ELVIS IMPRESSION, WHAT WOULD IT 110 00:14:09,632 --> 00:14:13,269 BE? Marlon: I WOULD NEVER DO IT. Marlon: RIGHT. 111 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,339 [BLEEP] ELVIS. MY MAN. Marlon: DO YOU THINK THERE'S ENOUGH BLACK PEOPLE 112 00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:21,477 NOMINATED THIS YEAR? ABSOLUTELY, YES. Marlon: HOW MANY IS NOMINATED THIS YEAR? 113 00:14:21,477 --> 00:14:26,616 I THINK I'M A LICK, THREE, TWO. Marlon: YOU KNOW HOW MANY BROTHERS HAVE WON OSCARS? 114 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:31,988 20? Marlon: NAME TEN. CANTS NAMED TEN. Marlon: NAME SEVEN. 115 00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:38,527 CAN'T NAME SEVEN. Marlon: BUT YOU KNOW 20 BLACK PEOPLE WHO WON OSCARS. OUR OSCARS. 116 00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:42,431 GIVE THEM THE PROPS THAT Y'ALL DESERVE. Marlon: TALKING ABOUT BROTHERS. 117 00:14:42,431 --> 00:14:47,503 SPEAK TO US PEOPLE, BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Marlon: ARE THE BLACK ACTORS IN HOLLYWOOD OUT THERE 118 00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:55,711 THAT ARE NOMINATED, WHO ELSE DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE NOMINATED? FOR AN OSCAR? ALL THE BLACK GUYS, HANDSOME, 119 00:14:55,711 --> 00:15:00,483 YOU KNOW, KIND OF TALL. GOOD-LOOKING. FUNNY, BUT NOT OVER-THE-TOP. TOP. 120 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:12,128 BUT CAN BE OVER THE TOP IF YOU ACTUALLY MAKE HIM IN THAT SITUATION. KEVIN HART, YEAH. 121 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:18,934 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: REALLY FUNNY AND EVERYTHING, YOU RIGHT. [LAUGHTER] 122 00:15:18,934 --> 00:15:26,842 Marlon: -- SOME OF THAT CORNY SHIT. Marlon: A CANTOR MEMBER, BUT IT WAS CORNY, MAN. 123 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:34,950 "LITTLE MAN" WAS THAT SHIT. Marlon: IF YOU HAD TO PICK A MOVIE TO WIN THE OSCAR, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PICK? 124 00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:45,728 WHAT THE NAME OF THE ONE YOU ALWAYS AND C, PLAYING THOSE GIR? Marlon: "RIGHTEOUS?" YOU THINK YOU I SHOULD'VE WON 125 00:15:45,728 --> 00:15:50,533 AN OSCAR FOR THAT? YOU SHOULD WIN AN OSCAR FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO. WE LOVE YOU! 126 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:55,337 YELLOW HIM SOME OSCARS. GIVE THEM TO HIM. REPRESENT HIM, GIVE HIM WHAT HE DESERVES. 127 00:15:55,337 --> 00:16:01,811 LOOK AT THE PEOPLE OUT THERE! THEY SO HAPPY TO HAVE THEM! HERE WE GO! WE GOT TO GIVE MARLON SOME 128 00:16:01,811 --> 00:16:06,716 ENERGY LIKE HE GIVES ALL OF US! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] LET'S DO IT! HEY! 129 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:12,321 Marlon: THE OSCAR GOES TO... MARLON WAYANS! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 130 00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:20,463 ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: ALL RIGHT. STAY TUNED BECAUSE WHEN WE COME 131 00:16:20,463 --> 00:16:23,833 BACK, D-NICE WILL BE JOINING ME ON THE SHELL! 132 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:58,209 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: WELCOME BACK TO "THE DAILY SHOW"! 133 00:16:58,209 --> 00:17:03,280 MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A D.J. AND A RECORD PRODUCER WHOSE WILDLY POPULAR CLUB QUARANTINE SAVED ALL OF OUR LIVES DURING THE 134 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:09,553 PANDEMIC. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR MY BROTHER, D.J. D-NICE! ♪ ♪ 135 00:17:09,553 --> 00:17:15,459 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ D-NICE! WHAT'S UP, MAN? 136 00:17:15,459 --> 00:17:19,163 Marlon: THAT IS THE PERFECT NAME. I NEVER ASKED YOU, HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE NAME D-NICE? 137 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:27,238 YOU KNOW, BACK IN THE '80S, EVERYONE WAS ICE, MIX MASTER ICE, AND WHEN WE RECORDED OUR FIRST SONG, SCOTT LA ROCK 138 00:17:27,238 --> 00:17:32,843 ACCIDENTALLY CALLED ME D-NICE AND I JUST KEPT IT. Marlon: WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR VERY LONG TIME. 139 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,113 YES. Marlon: WE MET ON THE SET OF "I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA." "I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA," 140 00:17:36,113 --> 00:17:43,020 YES. I THINK WE WERE THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE ON THE SET. Marlon: WE WERE BABIES. 141 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:48,192 I HAD NO HAIR. I LOOK LIKE A SHAVED WEASEL. AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE NO HAIR. LOOK AT YOU. 142 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:51,629 LOOK AT HIM. I WANTED TO ROB YOU OF THAT JACKET SO BAD. NOW LOOK AT ME! 143 00:17:51,629 --> 00:17:58,602 LOOK AT ME. YO, I LOVE THIS. WE WERE YOUNG. LOOK AT SHAWN. 144 00:17:58,602 --> 00:18:03,240 Marlon: PUBERTY WAS NOWHERE ON THAT SET. NO, NOT AT ALL. [LAUGHTER] 145 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:08,979 Marlon: MAN, HOW DID Y'ALL WIND UP DOING THAT? I KNOW MY BROTHER CALLED. MY BROTHER LOVED BDP. 146 00:18:08,979 --> 00:18:17,388 YES, YOUR BROTHER REACHED OUT, HE REACHED OUT TO US, WE WERE ON TOUR, I WAS YOUNG ON THAT TOUR BUT I WAS LIKE 17, 18 147 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:25,329 YEARS OLD, AND WE WERE -- WHILE WE WERE ON TOUR, KEENEN REACHED OUT AND SAID HE WANTED US TO DO A SONG FROM THE FILM SO I WORKED 148 00:18:25,329 --> 00:18:33,671 ON THE BEAT ON THE TOUR BUS AND IT ENDED UP BEING THE SONG USED IN THE MOVIE. Marlon: "JACK OF SPADES." 149 00:18:33,671 --> 00:18:38,142 JACK, JACK, JACK. [LAUGHTER] CLUB QUARANTINE, MAN, YOU REALLY SAVED OUR LIVES WITH THAT. 150 00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:46,984 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THIS IS THE THIRD-YEAR ANNIVERSARY. IT IS FUNNY, WHEN YOU FIRST 151 00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:52,957 STARTED DOING IT, I WOULD ALWAYS SHOW UP, AND I JUST WANTED A SHOUT OUT. YOU WAS SHOUTING OUT OPRAH, 152 00:18:52,957 --> 00:19:02,733 OBAMA WAS IN THERE ONE TIME. I WAS LIKE, LET ME IN! AND THEN ONE DAY, HE WAS LIKE, MARLON WAYANS! 153 00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:09,206 I WAS LIKE, YES, STREET CRED! WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING WITH THAT NOW? CQ, SO THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY 154 00:19:09,206 --> 00:19:14,912 OF CLUB QUARANTINE, SO CRAZY THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS FOR THREE YEARS TOGETHER, IS NEXT FRIDAY. 155 00:19:14,912 --> 00:19:24,054 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] MUSIC MAN, SO WE ARE DOING THE CQ3 ANNIVERSARY NEXT SATURDAY, MARCH 18TH AT THE 156 00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:27,458 APOLLO THEATER, I WANTED TO BRING IT HOME. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: OKAY, DOPE. 157 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:31,529 AND SO I'M PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT THAT. BUT I AM ALSO EXCITED THAT DURING THE DAYTIME WE ARE DOING 158 00:19:31,529 --> 00:19:39,069 SOMETHING REALLY COOL, YOU KNOW, WHAT AFFECTED PEOPLE DURING THE QUARANTINE WAS, HOW DO YOU SAVE FOR A PANDEMIC? 159 00:19:39,069 --> 00:19:47,545 I'M DOING SOMETHING CALLED THE ABC Qs, WHICH IS A FINANCIAL LITERACY SEMINAR DURING THE DAYTIME WITH CHASE JUST TO TEACH 160 00:19:47,545 --> 00:19:51,549 PEOPLE ABOUT FINANCIAL LITERACY AND SAVING. Marlon: DOPE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 161 00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:58,722 ALL OF YOUR POSITIVITY. COME ON NOW. Marlon: I WAS LIKE, HOW DO YOU DRINK MORE WINE? 162 00:19:58,722 --> 00:20:10,968 [LAUGHTER] MAKING IT SIMPLE. Marlon: HIP-HOP HAS BEEN AROUND 50 YEARS. 163 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:15,072 50 YEARS. LIKE OUR AGE. 50 YEARS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 164 00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:18,709 Marlon: WHY DO YOU THINK IT HAD SUCH AN IMPACT SO SOON? IT IS ONLY 50 YEARS, LIKE, ROCK 'N' ROLL HAS BEEN AROUND 165 00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:24,114 WAY LONGER. HIP-HOP IS PRETTY YOUNG. WHY DO YOU THINK IT HAD SUCH AN IMPACT? 166 00:20:24,114 --> 00:20:29,687 JUST FROM MY EXPERIENCE, BEING IN HIP-HOP, A LOT OF WHAT I LEARNED GROWING UP THAT THEY DIDN'T TEACH IN SCHOOLS, I 167 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:38,596 LEARNED FROM THE RECORDS. SO I FEEL -- I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT -- I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU, I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH 168 00:20:38,596 --> 00:20:45,336 ABOUT BLACK HISTORY UNTIL I STARTED LISTENING TO PUBLIC ENEMY, CHUCK D, AND KRS. SO I FEEL LIKE HIP-HOP WAS 169 00:20:45,336 --> 00:20:49,673 DEFINITELY THE CNN OF THE INNER-CITY COMMUNITY. AND WE KIND OF NEEDED THAT, I THINK IT RESONATED WITH ALL OF 170 00:20:49,673 --> 00:20:54,979 THESE KIDS. WE STARTED FEELING REBELLIOUS BACK THEN, LIKE, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 171 00:20:54,979 --> 00:21:00,050 I FEEL PROUD ABOUT MYSELF. Marlon: IT MADE YOU FEEL POSITIVE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH NEGATIVITY WE WERE GOING 172 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:06,957 THROUGH, IT UPLIFTED YOU. ALWAYS ASPIRATIONAL. AS ARE YOU, MY BROTHER. THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT. 173 00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:13,530 I APPRECIATE YOU, I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU TOO, BRO. Marlon: LET ME ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION BEFORE YOU GO. 174 00:21:13,530 --> 00:21:19,403 WHERE DO YOU THINK HIP-HOP IS GOING TO NEXT? OH, MAN, I DON'T THINK I CAN EVEN ANSWER THAT QUESTION. 175 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:24,742 Marlon: IN THE NEXT 50 YEARS, WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T KNOW, MAN, I JUST HOPE IT CONTINUES TO GROW. 176 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:31,982 I GOT TO BE HONEST. Marlon: YOU DON'T KNOW, [BLEEP]. [LAUGHTER] 177 00:21:31,982 --> 00:21:37,988 [APPLAUSE] D-NICE! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] MY MAN. 178 00:21:37,988 --> 00:21:38,989 I LOVE YOU. 179 00:21:46,231 --> 00:22:09,821 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Marlon: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR TONIGHT, THANK YOU, BUT BEFORE 180 00:22:09,821 --> 00:22:14,125 WE GO: PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING HUDSON GUILD. THEY'RE A MULTI-SERVICE COMMUNITY CENTER THAT OFFERS 181 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:19,030 DIVERSE PROGRAMMING FOR PEOPLE IN CHELSEA AND ALONG MANHATTAN'S WEST SIDE. THEY HELP TO THE WAYANS FAMILY. 182 00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:24,302 I WOULD HAVE NO IMMUNIZATION OR TEETH IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM. SO IF YOU CAN SUPPORT THEM, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 183 00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:31,376 PLEASE DONATE AT THE LINK BELOW. LOVE Y'ALL. NOW HERE IS YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN." 184 00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:35,013 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] TUCKER CARLSON GOT THE SECURITY FOOTAGE FROM SPEAKER McCARTHY, AND REALLY 185 00:22:35,013 --> 00:22:40,352 DOWNPLAYED JANUARY 6, IT WAS MOSTLY PEACEFUL CHAOS IN HIS VIEW, AND SAID IT WAS NOT AN INSURRECTION, SAID THAT BRIAN