1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,905 ANNOUNCER: From New York City, the only city in America, 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,541 it's the show that invented news. 3 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:12,179 This is The Daily Show with your host Marlon Wayans. 4 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:19,286 [theme music] 5 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:33,433 Welcome to The Daily Show. 6 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,502 I am your host, Marlon Wayans. 7 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:39,439 I know you're asking yourself, how the [bleep] 8 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,774 did I become the host? 9 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:45,345 Well, they spun a wheel with all the Wayans's name on it, 10 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:46,780 and it landed on me. 11 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:53,854 [laughter, applause] 12 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,123 That's right. 13 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,725 As you know, my entire family is in the business. 14 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:01,428 We're like the Trumps, except my dad doesn't 15 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:02,496 want to [bleep] my sister. 16 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:06,600 [laughter] 17 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,535 All right, let's get into headlines. 18 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:13,373 [music playing] 19 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,576 It was a great weekend for comedy specials. 20 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,978 I know my brother Chris Rock had his thing. 21 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,681 And I also had a new special come out. 22 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:26,353 [applause] 23 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:31,525 God Loves Me, available right now on HBO Max. 24 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:36,330 Brothers, you can't bootleg streaming. 25 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,332 But you can share passwords. 26 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,267 Ha. 27 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,335 But let's be real. 28 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,637 The funniest comedy special last weekend 29 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:50,511 was the CPAC, or as I like to call it, crazy white people. 30 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,912 If you don't know about it, it's 31 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,248 an annual event with all the Karens 32 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,250 and their husbands come together 33 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:59,586 and they complain about the rest of us. 34 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,656 The Karens and the Darrens. 35 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,859 And we watched it so you didn't have to. 36 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,795 The Biden administration sucks. 37 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,798 This can never be said at a Democrat gathering. 38 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,867 Look at all the beautiful women here. 39 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,436 Wokeness is a virus more dangerous 40 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,739 than any pandemic hands down. 41 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,842 We will support baby boomers. 42 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:26,914 And we will support baby bonuses for a new baby boom. 43 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:27,915 How does that sound? 44 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,216 That sounds pretty-- 45 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,651 I want a baby boom. 46 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,654 To use a strong couple of words, insane asylum. 47 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:34,855 Insane asylum. 48 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,558 That's where-- anybody see Silence of the Lambs? 49 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,759 That's where they come from. 50 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:42,095 Check under your seats. 51 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,498 If there happens to be a gold chocolate 52 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,835 bar underneath there, that's a VIP-- 53 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,269 oh, I'm not joking. 54 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:56,143 That's a VIP ticket to my father's reception tomorrow 55 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,345 at CPAC. 56 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:02,249 [laughter, booing] 57 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:07,054 What the [bleep] is with his fingers? 58 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,156 Why does he have hot dog fingers from Everything, 59 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,157 Everywhere, All At Once? 60 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:16,330 [laughter, applause] 61 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:21,335 It looks like 10 limp dicks playing piano. 62 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,905 I like how Donald Jr.'s always like, Democrats 63 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,206 are pedophiles. 64 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,343 Anyway, if you come with me, I'll give you chocolate. 65 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,179 Shh. 66 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,180 But you know what? 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,748 I'd like to invite everyone here 68 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:35,782 to look under their seats. 69 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:36,783 Please, go ahead. 70 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,918 Look under your seats. 71 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,754 Look. 72 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:45,459 Does anyone see my AirPods? 73 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,960 I've been looking all over for them. 74 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:52,266 I hate those little tricky white bitches. 75 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,868 The worst part about the stunt is that Trump was leaving 76 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,503 chocolate bars on the floor. 77 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,172 You know who's going to find that? 78 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,174 A rat. 79 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:05,812 A rat is going to show up and be like, 80 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,047 where the [bleep] is Donald? 81 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,317 [laughter] 82 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,485 I got ideas, man. 83 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,486 [bleep] border wall. 84 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,056 We need a border maze. 85 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,759 If they get past that, bam, sticky pads, bitch. 86 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:25,866 [laughter, applause] 87 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,804 But it wasn't just Don Jr. All these people are wilding. 88 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,173 Some of those guys was throwing shots, too. 89 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,944 It went from CPAC to Tupac real quick. 90 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,912 They were like, first off, [bleep] pronouns 91 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:43,450 and the gender you claim. 92 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,919 And some of that shit make no sense at all. 93 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,922 Like Nikki Haley said, wokeness is more 94 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,925 dangerous than a pandemic. 95 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,096 I never had to miss two weeks of work because of wokeness. 96 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,098 And I'm damn sure Herman Cain didn't 97 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,501 die because he walked into a gender neutral bathroom. 98 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:07,241 [laughter, applause] 99 00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,511 Now let's move on to sports. 100 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,080 We all know the NBA stopped calling players 101 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,048 for carrying a long time ago. 102 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,050 But, apparently, you can still get 103 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,820 in trouble for carrying a gun. 104 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,055 REPORTER 1: Memphis Grizzlies standout point guard Ja Morant 105 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,091 is facing scrutiny after appearing 106 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,094 to flash a gun in a video shared on his Instagram live. 107 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,896 REPORTER 2: The Grizzlies announcing the all-star will 108 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,764 be sitting out at least two games 109 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:34,067 as the NBA conducts an investigation of what he did 110 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:38,105 live on Instagram, seen here showing 111 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:41,642 off a gun at a nightclub hours after his team lost 112 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:42,876 Friday night. 113 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,579 Morant has since apologized, saying in a statement, 114 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,314 "I'm going to take some time away 115 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,082 to get help and work on learning 116 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,084 better methods of dealing with stress 117 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,319 and my overall well-being." 118 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:56,957 [laughter] 119 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:02,763 I'm sorry, but that [bleep] don't look stressed at all. 120 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,098 Look at all the stress on his face. 121 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:08,602 I've never seen somebody so stressed. 122 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,105 [bleep] this is stress. 123 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:15,642 [laughs] How is that even an explanation? 124 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,612 I pulled the gun out because I was stressed. 125 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,549 So is that, like, an emotional support gun? 126 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,252 Like, who grabs a gun because you're stressed? 127 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:28,755 [bleep] you never heard of chamomile? 128 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,724 I'm just saying, I think mental health issues 129 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,659 have been too destigmatized. 130 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,529 Even guys trying to act gangster are like, yo, 131 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,297 I'm going to let you off because my therapist 132 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,934 says this is misplaced anger. 133 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,371 I need to go home and unpack this shit, homie. 134 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,707 I gotta assume some accountability for this man. 135 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:47,708 You know what I'm saying? 136 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:54,715 [laughter, applause] 137 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,086 But, also, what the [bleep] is up with the tiny gun? 138 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,526 It's so tiny. 139 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,860 It looks like a gun that the sexy Russian lady 140 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,030 pulls out in a Bond movie. 141 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:14,835 He went to the gun store and asked for pussy galore. 142 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,038 I've never seen a man pull out a gun and be less threatening. 143 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:23,377 [laughter] 144 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:26,880 We got beef? 145 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,616 How you hold your gun like this? 146 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,485 The gangs in West Side Story were 147 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:37,591 more threatening than that, and they were singing show tunes. 148 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:40,827 And, finally, let's move on to a lighter subject-- 149 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,664 slavery. 150 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,066 Most people now agree that slavery was wrong. 151 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,202 But, apparently, California is the only one 152 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:49,937 that feels bad about it. 153 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,972 California will soon decide whether or not 154 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,508 to give reparations to its Black citizens. 155 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,176 Right now, the California Task Force 156 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,378 is meeting in Sacramento to assess how much 157 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,880 each citizen might receive. 158 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,016 One consideration is roughly $360,000 159 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,451 per eligible resident. 160 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,853 REPORTER 3: The Task Force is still 161 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,022 working to determine what it believes reparations should 162 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:12,226 involve, which could include cash payments, grants, 163 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,127 and tuition assistance. 164 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:17,197 There's only one thing that would stop our children 165 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:21,201 from busting into these liquor stores and grocery stores 166 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,404 stealing junk food and stealing different things, 167 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,273 and that's reparations. 168 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,776 There's only one thing that would stop our kids 169 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,879 from busting into these jewelry stores 170 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:36,049 stealing watches and jewelry, and that's reparations. 171 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,552 Damn it, I agree with the monopoly man. 172 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:43,657 [laughter, applause] 173 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:48,262 We need to let Black people pass go and collect $200. 174 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,564 It's time for some free parking, damn it. 175 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:57,304 [laughter, applause] 176 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,606 I just love how he was getting more 177 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,375 threatening as he was talking. 178 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,177 We need reparations. 179 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,012 Otherwise, we're going to rob liquor 180 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,614 stores and jewelry, bitch. 181 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:11,885 I stole this mother-mother-[bleep] watch. 182 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:17,558 You can see all the Black folk behind him like, oh. 183 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:21,628 Was this the best guy we could get to represent us? 184 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,299 He looks so sophisticated with the little hat on. 185 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,367 And you seen the watch? 186 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:32,072 It was nice until I found out he stole it. 187 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,807 I don't know where they're getting the money from, 188 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,944 but I know where they should get it from-- 189 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,046 Fruit of the Loom. 190 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,448 They always saying that shit is 100% cotton. 191 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:42,482 Pay up, bitch. 192 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:49,590 [laughter, applause] 193 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,926 And they said every Black person 194 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:57,164 is going to get $360,000. 195 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,432 What if you're mixed? 196 00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,467 You only get half? 197 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:04,938 So Zendaya's only good for 180k? 198 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,875 So what does Chet Hanks get? 199 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:12,346 Go suck on your mama's dusty stinking crotch. 200 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:15,916 Spit on your granny grave. 201 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:21,622 That wigger got to be worth at least 25 grand. 202 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:26,260 For more on these reparations, we go to Roy Wood Jr. 203 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,395 Hey, hey. 204 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,530 Yes, sir. 205 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:30,631 Hi. 206 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,765 Yeah. yeah. 207 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,000 What's up, Roy? 208 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,568 Hey, homie? What's cracking? 209 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,569 What's cracking, homie? 210 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,737 Marlon, good to see you. 211 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:37,804 What's up, West side? 212 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:38,839 Yeah. 213 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,874 Why are you talking like that? 214 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,144 That's how we always talk out here in Cali, in the Bay Area. 215 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,512 You smell me? 216 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,916 West Side, Van Nuys, chicken and waffles, too short, surf's 217 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,051 up, snowfall, Franklin saint. 218 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,319 You know what I'm saying? 219 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,721 Matter of fact, let me put on my authentic Cali hat. 220 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:55,923 See? See? 221 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:56,924 Boom. 222 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:57,925 See? 223 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,259 Now I look like the homie. 224 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,294 I look just like the homie. 225 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:01,628 - Roy. - He from Cali. 226 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:02,629 I'm from Cali. 227 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,398 Roy, stop it. 228 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,667 You're from Alabama. 229 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,101 Stop talking like that. 230 00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,369 You sound like Chet Hanks. 231 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:13,073 Shut your hating ass up and play along. 232 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,508 Black people from all over are about to start 233 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,509 claiming California. 234 00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,411 I'm trying to get mine first. 235 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,780 It's the Black gold rush. 236 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,881 It's time to get paid. 237 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,350 You know, I will say I'm surprised that out 238 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,852 of all the states, it's California 239 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,086 that's proposing reparations. 240 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,321 Oh, definitely. Definitely. 241 00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,488 It is a big surprise. 242 00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:29,957 You know, you got to give props to California, 243 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,826 my home state, for doing this. 244 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,762 You know, they did it before Alabama, before Georgia, 245 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:36,830 before South Carolina. 246 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,700 And California was a free state. 247 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,635 Most of the slaves in California 248 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,004 was just people playing slaves in movies. 249 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:49,343 Jamie Foxx, LeVar Burton, Cynthia Erivo, Amistad. 250 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:52,312 You mean Djimon Hounsou. 251 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:55,015 His name ain't Amistad? 252 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,950 Well, I guess it's always Black History month. 253 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,419 I learned something new. 254 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,055 Roy, one reason why I know you're not from California 255 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:05,659 is because you think 360 grand can take you far. 256 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,363 It may take you far in Alabama, but not LA. 257 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,898 That's going to dry up real quick 258 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,900 after rent, gas, and cocaine. 259 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,067 OK. OK. 260 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,068 True. True. 261 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,069 You're right. 262 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,070 You're right. So then how about this? 263 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,105 How about this? 264 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,873 Instead of splitting up the reparation money 265 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,241 amongst all the Black folks. 266 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,476 MARLON WAYANS: Right. 267 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:26,146 Enter every Black person into a reparations lottery, 268 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,083 and one person gets all the money. 269 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:34,488 Like-- it's like Powerball, but for slavery. 270 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:35,489 You on to something. 271 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,490 I like that. 272 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,491 Yeah. 273 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,559 Black Powerball. 274 00:12:38,659 --> 00:12:39,726 Yes, exactly. 275 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:40,727 Yeah. 276 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:41,929 But a lottery. 277 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,699 Man, that's a dumb idea for reparation. 278 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:46,900 You think it's dumb. 279 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,236 You think a lottery with a bunch of Black people-- 280 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,437 you thing that's dumb? 281 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,273 You of all people should support a lottery, Marlon. 282 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,876 Statistically speaking, the odds are is that the winner 283 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:56,877 going to be a Wayans. 284 00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,113 It's 58 of y'all last I checked. 285 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:03,584 It's like 73 Wayans. 286 00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:04,918 You know what? 287 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,421 Now that you put it like that, I like this lottery idea. 288 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,488 Yeah. 289 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:09,957 But aren't you going to be mad if someone 290 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,124 else gets all that money? 291 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,492 No, I ain't tripping if another Black 292 00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:13,493 person win the money. 293 00:13:13,594 --> 00:13:14,661 Whoever win the Black lottery, I'm 294 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,963 just going to borrow the money from him 295 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,433 because he's my cousin. 296 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,901 But you don't know who it is. 297 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,169 It don't matter. 298 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,438 Once they win the money, they're going to be my cousin. 299 00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:27,107 Speaking of which, is it too late to become a Wayans? 300 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,642 I can do the paperwork. 301 00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,978 All right, Roy Wayans Jr, everyone. 302 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,546 [applause] 303 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,514 I'm a Wayans. 304 00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:35,816 I'm a Wayans. 305 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,985 Give it up for the top hat. 306 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:38,986 I'm a Wayans. 307 00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,421 All right, when we come back, we'll 308 00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:44,091 take a look at all my critically acclaimed movies, 309 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,092 so don't go away. 310 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,529 [applause] 311 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:04,211 [crowd cheering] 312 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,180 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 313 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,515 The Oscars are this weekend. 314 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,884 So to celebrate, I thought I'd take a look back 315 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,853 at one of my favorite actors and some 316 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,088 of his greatest roles. 317 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:19,426 [music playing] 318 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,660 Hello. 319 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,764 I'm Marlon Wayans, America's greatest actor. 320 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,667 And today, I'll be looking back at some of my most iconic 321 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:31,404 roles and the preparation I took to immerse 322 00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:38,378 myself in character. 323 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:43,016 What drew me to White Chicks was 324 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:49,923 its mythological roots, which I found almost Homeric in scope. 325 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:53,660 Let's take a look. 326 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,861 Everything all right in there? 327 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,796 In preparation for that scene, 328 00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:01,134 I mentally drew from act four, scene three of Macbeth. 329 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,903 So powerful. 330 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,205 I also took so many laxatives that I thought 331 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,073 I saw a knife floating in front of me 332 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,609 and I tried to stab myself. 333 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:15,415 It's still in the White Chicks Snyder cut. 334 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:20,253 Acting requires an almost Machiavellian rawness. 335 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,890 To be naked in front of one's audience-- 336 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,793 that is why, in over 90% of my movies, 337 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,696 I am literally ass naked. 338 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:30,697 Man. 339 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:31,698 These gentlemen will be escorting 340 00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:32,699 you off the premises. 341 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,602 I don't care who you get to-- 342 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,603 uh-oh. 343 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:41,508 [music playing] 344 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,577 A-man. 345 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,613 It's part of the Stanislavski method. 346 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:50,817 Ja'Marr Stanislavski, he's my schizophrenic neighbor. 347 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,085 He's always naked. 348 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,188 The results was an amazing film that the Oscar voters 349 00:15:55,288 --> 00:16:00,393 described as not submitted. 350 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:04,297 I don't like to call myself an actor. 351 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,132 I'm a thespian. 352 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:09,369 And in this film, I really thessed out. 353 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,339 Now, you know there's avocado in that nine-month layer dip. 354 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:13,340 I knew it. 355 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,509 I knew it. 356 00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,344 That's just nasty. - What the hell? 357 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,578 Gross. 358 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:22,415 I also took on one of my toughest acting challenges-- 359 00:16:22,516 --> 00:16:24,284 playing a Black redhead. 360 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:31,091 Or, as I so cleverly improvised in the movie, a ninger. 361 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:36,696 Combining Blackness and red-headedness? 362 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:37,931 That's a tough one. 363 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:41,067 The only people to do it successfully were Harry 364 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,171 and Meghan, an Ice Spice. 365 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,405 You thought I was feeling you? 366 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,675 That ninger's a munch. 367 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:49,743 It's funny. 368 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,879 People often compare me to Marlon Brando. 369 00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:58,585 Mostly because my name is Marlon, but Marlon Brando, 370 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,654 respectfully, could have never played 371 00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,490 Christian in Fifty Shades of Black 372 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:07,160 mostly because he's not Black. 373 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,762 And he's dead. 374 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,365 Christian Black, he's a very textured and 375 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,334 complicated character. 376 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,170 And he spoke to me for a number of reasons. 377 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:24,277 Primarily, the fact that I love getting spanked. 378 00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:28,215 Honestly this was one of my hardest roles. 379 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,550 I mean, especially because Shorty 380 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,119 smokes marijuana, something I have no experience with. 381 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,120 Chug! Chug! 382 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,121 Chug! Chug! 383 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,122 Chug! Chug! 384 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,123 Chug! Chug! 385 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,425 Yeah! 386 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:43,296 The director encouraged me to try some, but I resisted. 387 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:48,435 I will not partake in the devil's lettuce. 388 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,103 Ah, Requiem For A Dream. 389 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,073 Oh, yeah, I smoked crack for that. 390 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,108 Yeah, I smoked a lot of crack. 391 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,409 I love that shit. 392 00:17:56,510 --> 00:18:01,681 I did tons and tons and tons of crack. 393 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,417 For this movie, I also smoked a ton of crack. 394 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,652 I don't even know why. 395 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,222 It wasn't part of the plot at all. 396 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:14,528 [laughs] 397 00:18:14,628 --> 00:18:15,629 OK, now. 398 00:18:15,729 --> 00:18:18,031 Ooh, this one's real grabby. 399 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,101 At first, I turned this role down because I didn't feel 400 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,502 like it was the right fit. 401 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,772 But then the studio backed a dump truck full of cash 402 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:32,045 up to my house, and I realized I was the right fit. 403 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,215 Little Man is, of course, a remake 404 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:39,186 of the 1957 Swedish tragedy Dinkum Onska. 405 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:43,456 During the filming, I drank nothing but breast milk. 406 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:50,063 Still do. 407 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,566 It can be intimidating to bare your soul 408 00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,901 in front of the audience, but that is 409 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:59,339 the sacred duty of a thespian. 410 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,241 How you doing. 411 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,709 Mmm. 412 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,010 Mmm. 413 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,512 Oh you won't bite my lip. 414 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,580 Oh. 415 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,884 We did, I think, 38 takes of that scene 416 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,587 over 4 grueling days. 417 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,089 Oh. 418 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,090 Ah. 419 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,158 Ah. 420 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,694 [chuckles] True story-- at the wrap party, 421 00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:26,900 I had a threesome with that teddy bear and Jeff Goldblum. 422 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,735 Benefits of fame. 423 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,504 And there you have it. 424 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,406 I'm Marlon Wayans, a national treasure, 425 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:36,877 and those were some of my most iconic roles. 426 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:42,682 I'm honored to share my craft with you guys. 427 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,186 You know what I could really go for right now? 428 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,054 Some crack. 429 00:19:48,155 --> 00:19:51,057 [music playing] 430 00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:53,426 [crowd cheering] 431 00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:54,794 Oh. 432 00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:57,397 What a national treasure he is. 433 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,632 What an artist. 434 00:19:58,732 --> 00:19:59,633 All right. 435 00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:01,434 Stay tuned because when we come back, 436 00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:04,304 Mason Gooding will be joining me today. 437 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,605 Don't go away. 438 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,742 [crowd cheering] 439 00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:22,830 [cheering] 440 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,800 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 441 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,835 My guest tonight is one of the stars 442 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,604 of the Scream movie franchise. 443 00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:33,441 He's reprising his role as Chad in Scream VI 444 00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,910 [suspenseful music] 445 00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:39,847 [shattering glass] 446 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:46,821 [swish] 447 00:20:47,822 --> 00:20:48,723 [cheering] 448 00:20:48,823 --> 00:20:51,259 Please welcome Mason Gooding. 449 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:52,460 [cheering] 450 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:58,666 [applause] 451 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:00,568 How you doing, Mason? 452 00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:04,038 MASON: I'm so excited. 453 00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:09,543 [cheering] 454 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,446 Oh, my goodness, oh, my goodness. 455 00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,447 I am jealous. 456 00:21:13,547 --> 00:21:14,649 You are buff buff. 457 00:21:14,749 --> 00:21:17,818 Oh, stop it, it's the steroids. 458 00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,020 Well, hook me up with your dealer. 459 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,021 Yeah. 460 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,489 [laughs] 461 00:21:21,589 --> 00:21:23,157 When did you steal Deadpool's body? 462 00:21:23,190 --> 00:21:24,158 You got-- 463 00:21:24,191 --> 00:21:25,159 That's hilarious. 464 00:21:25,226 --> 00:21:26,627 You about to fight The Rock. That's good. 465 00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:28,029 No, no. 466 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:31,165 I am, it's funny, when I was a kid, I was a big fan of Oreos 467 00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:33,768 at nighttime, so I gained a little weight pretty quickly. 468 00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:36,971 And my mom and dad were like, listen, if you want, 469 00:21:37,071 --> 00:21:38,839 we can kind of hook you up with something that'll keep 470 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:40,374 you able to defend yourself. 471 00:21:40,474 --> 00:21:41,676 So I took up boxing. 472 00:21:41,776 --> 00:21:43,611 Oh, I thought they replaced your Oreos with steroids. 473 00:21:43,711 --> 00:21:44,946 So they were like, listen. 474 00:21:45,046 --> 00:21:46,414 [laughs] 475 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,415 Listen, they might have. 476 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:48,516 It was a fast transition. 477 00:21:48,616 --> 00:21:51,352 Put some steroids in his Lucky Charms. 478 00:21:51,452 --> 00:21:52,954 Um, congrats, man. 479 00:21:53,054 --> 00:21:53,955 Thank you. 480 00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:55,222 I hear great things about the movie. 481 00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:56,824 I hear you're headed for a record opening-- 482 00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:57,825 Hey, hey, I hope so. 483 00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:58,960 --in the whole franchise. 484 00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:04,865 Go on, brother, get money, get money. 485 00:22:04,966 --> 00:22:08,936 So, you tell me anything about the movie, anything that 486 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,739 happens, any spoilers, anything that I could possibly 487 00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:14,475 put in Scary Movie IV? 488 00:22:14,575 --> 00:22:15,876 Right, right, right, right. 489 00:22:15,977 --> 00:22:20,147 [cheering] 490 00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,149 Well, if that was the goal, I might need to hook 491 00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,751 you up for my personal gain. 492 00:22:23,851 --> 00:22:25,953 But I can tell you it takes place 493 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,388 in the good city of New York. 494 00:22:27,488 --> 00:22:30,825 Oh. 495 00:22:30,925 --> 00:22:33,928 We've moved now to college, so we're a little bit older, 496 00:22:34,028 --> 00:22:35,196 a little wiser, hopefully, and we're 497 00:22:35,296 --> 00:22:37,164 trying to put what happened to us in the past 498 00:22:37,198 --> 00:22:38,466 since the fifth movie. 499 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:41,335 Sixth movie is now trying to up the ante, 500 00:22:41,435 --> 00:22:44,272 making it more violent, more scary ideally, 501 00:22:44,372 --> 00:22:46,874 and then I think I'm shirtless at one point in the movie. 502 00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:48,976 [cheering] 503 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,845 See how he just threw that in? 504 00:22:50,945 --> 00:22:55,783 I take my [bleep] out for a half a scene or two. 505 00:22:55,883 --> 00:22:58,753 It's good to see you, because I know your father. 506 00:22:58,853 --> 00:22:59,754 Yeah? 507 00:22:59,854 --> 00:23:00,755 That's so crazy. 508 00:23:00,855 --> 00:23:02,189 Like, I known Cuba so long. 509 00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,190 Yeah. 510 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,427 Like, Cuba Gooding Jr., amazing 511 00:23:06,527 --> 00:23:07,762 Academy Award-winning actor. 512 00:23:07,862 --> 00:23:11,966 [cheering] 513 00:23:12,066 --> 00:23:16,304 I always said, you know, he's the only Black guy that I know 514 00:23:16,404 --> 00:23:17,805 that gets white guy wasted. 515 00:23:17,905 --> 00:23:19,140 That's right. 516 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,143 When he, when Cuba drinks, you just hear (SCREAMING) woo! 517 00:23:22,209 --> 00:23:23,811 Yeah 518 00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:25,146 He pulls his titties out. 519 00:23:25,212 --> 00:23:27,481 I mean, what the [bleep] is going on? 520 00:23:27,581 --> 00:23:28,849 But he's so much fun. 521 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:32,286 Actually, we was at an Oscar party, and I walked up to him, 522 00:23:32,386 --> 00:23:33,754 he's so funny. 523 00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,623 I walk up to him, I go, hey, what's up? 524 00:23:35,723 --> 00:23:37,959 He has bucket of chicken that he just puts 525 00:23:38,059 --> 00:23:39,427 it on the top of his head. 526 00:23:39,527 --> 00:23:40,695 I think I got a picture of it. 527 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:41,696 Look. 528 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:47,068 [laughs] 529 00:23:47,168 --> 00:23:48,769 That's at an Oscar party. 530 00:23:48,869 --> 00:23:49,770 That's dad. 531 00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,806 That's dad. 532 00:23:51,906 --> 00:23:53,407 It's something to live up to, you know, 533 00:23:53,507 --> 00:23:55,009 just take it in stride. 534 00:23:55,176 --> 00:23:58,012 If I tried to keep up with him and his persona, 535 00:23:58,179 --> 00:24:00,247 I'd fail absolutely every time, so I took 536 00:24:00,348 --> 00:24:01,248 the opposite end of the route. 537 00:24:01,349 --> 00:24:02,350 I read books on Friday nights. 538 00:24:02,450 --> 00:24:03,351 Beautiful. 539 00:24:03,451 --> 00:24:05,519 I cuddle with my dog and I leave 540 00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:08,422 that, him and his own devices. 541 00:24:08,522 --> 00:24:09,423 Well, good luck with this, man. 542 00:24:09,523 --> 00:24:10,424 Thank you. 543 00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:11,425 I appreciate it. 544 00:24:11,525 --> 00:24:13,894 Make that money, so we can parody it. 545 00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:14,895 Very proud of you. 546 00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:16,764 Thank you, thank you. 547 00:24:16,864 --> 00:24:20,601 Scream IV will be in theaters March 10. 548 00:24:20,701 --> 00:24:22,336 OK, we're going to take a quick break. 549 00:24:22,436 --> 00:24:24,305 We'll be right back right after this. 550 00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:27,174 [cheering] 551 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:33,381 [cheering] - All right! 552 00:24:33,481 --> 00:24:35,683 That's our show for tonight. 553 00:24:35,783 --> 00:24:38,853 Now, here it is, your moment of zen. 554 00:24:38,953 --> 00:24:42,523 Are we ready to take on the left? 555 00:24:42,623 --> 00:24:47,962 Are we ready to say, the fake media stinks? 556 00:24:48,062 --> 00:24:50,498 All right, we got it, we got our calling orders here. 557 00:24:50,598 --> 00:24:51,899 Actually, I don't say they stink, 558 00:24:51,999 --> 00:24:53,134 but we'll just leave it right there. 559 00:24:53,234 --> 00:24:54,135 That's fine. [laughs] 560 00:24:54,235 --> 00:24:56,404 (SINGING) MTV.