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ANNOUNCER: From New York City,
the only city in America,
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it's the show that
invented news.
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This is The Daily Show with
your host Marlon Wayans.
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[theme music]
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
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I am your host, Marlon Wayans.
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I know you're asking
yourself, how the [bleep]
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did I become the host?
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Well, they spun a wheel with
all the Wayans's name on it,
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and it landed on me.
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[laughter, applause]
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That's right.
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As you know, my entire
family is in the business.
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We're like the Trumps,
except my dad doesn't
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want to [bleep] my sister.
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[laughter]
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All right, let's
get into headlines.
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[music playing]
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It was a great weekend
for comedy specials.
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I know my brother Chris
Rock had his thing.
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And I also had a new
special come out.
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[applause]
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God Loves Me, available
right now on HBO Max.
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Brothers, you can't
bootleg streaming.
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But you can share passwords.
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Ha.
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But let's be real.
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The funniest comedy
special last weekend
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was the CPAC, or as I like to
call it, crazy white people.
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If you don't know
about it, it's
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an annual event
with all the Karens
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and their husbands
come together
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and they complain
about the rest of us.
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The Karens and the Darrens.
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And we watched it so
you didn't have to.
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The Biden
administration sucks.
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This can never be said
at a Democrat gathering.
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Look at all the
beautiful women here.
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Wokeness is a
virus more dangerous
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than any pandemic hands down.
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We will support baby boomers.
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And we will support baby
bonuses for a new baby boom.
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How does that sound?
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That sounds pretty--
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I want a baby boom.
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To use a strong couple
of words, insane asylum.
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Insane asylum.
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That's where-- anybody
see Silence of the Lambs?
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That's where they come from.
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Check under your seats.
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If there happens to
be a gold chocolate
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bar underneath
there, that's a VIP--
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oh, I'm not joking.
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That's a VIP ticket to my
father's reception tomorrow
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at CPAC.
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[laughter, booing]
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What the [bleep]
is with his fingers?
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Why does he have hot dog
fingers from Everything,
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Everywhere, All At Once?
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[laughter, applause]
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It looks like 10 limp
dicks playing piano.
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I like how Donald Jr.'s
always like, Democrats
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are pedophiles.
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Anyway, if you come with
me, I'll give you chocolate.
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Shh.
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But you know what?
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I'd like to invite
everyone here
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to look under their seats.
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Please, go ahead.
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Look under your seats.
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Look.
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Does anyone see my AirPods?
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I've been looking
all over for them.
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I hate those little
tricky white bitches.
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The worst part about the stunt
is that Trump was leaving
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chocolate bars on the floor.
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You know who's
going to find that?
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A rat.
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A rat is going to
show up and be like,
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where the [bleep] is Donald?
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[laughter]
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I got ideas, man.
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[bleep] border wall.
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We need a border maze.
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If they get past that,
bam, sticky pads, bitch.
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[laughter, applause]
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But it wasn't just Don Jr.
All these people are wilding.
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Some of those guys was
throwing shots, too.
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It went from CPAC
to Tupac real quick.
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They were like, first
off, [bleep] pronouns
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and the gender you claim.
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And some of that shit
make no sense at all.
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Like Nikki Haley
said, wokeness is more
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dangerous than a pandemic.
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I never had to miss two weeks
of work because of wokeness.
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And I'm damn sure
Herman Cain didn't
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die because he walked into
a gender neutral bathroom.
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[laughter, applause]
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Now let's move on to sports.
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We all know the NBA
stopped calling players
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for carrying a long time ago.
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But, apparently,
you can still get
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in trouble for carrying a gun.
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REPORTER 1: Memphis Grizzlies
standout point guard Ja Morant
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is facing scrutiny
after appearing
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to flash a gun in a video
shared on his Instagram live.
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REPORTER 2: The Grizzlies
announcing the all-star will
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be sitting out at
least two games
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as the NBA conducts an
investigation of what he did
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live on Instagram,
seen here showing
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off a gun at a nightclub
hours after his team lost
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Friday night.
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Morant has since apologized,
saying in a statement,
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"I'm going to take
some time away
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to get help and
work on learning
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better methods of
dealing with stress
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and my overall well-being."
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[laughter]
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I'm sorry, but that [bleep]
don't look stressed at all.
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Look at all the
stress on his face.
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I've never seen
somebody so stressed.
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[bleep] this is stress.
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[laughs] How is that
even an explanation?
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I pulled the gun out
because I was stressed.
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So is that, like, an
emotional support gun?
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Like, who grabs a gun
because you're stressed?
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[bleep] you never
heard of chamomile?
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I'm just saying, I think
mental health issues
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have been too destigmatized.
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Even guys trying to act
gangster are like, yo,
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I'm going to let you
off because my therapist
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says this is misplaced anger.
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I need to go home and
unpack this shit, homie.
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I gotta assume some
accountability for this man.
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You know what I'm saying?
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[laughter, applause]
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But, also, what the [bleep]
is up with the tiny gun?
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It's so tiny.
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It looks like a gun that
the sexy Russian lady
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pulls out in a Bond movie.
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He went to the gun store
and asked for pussy galore.
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I've never seen a man pull out
a gun and be less threatening.
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[laughter]
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We got beef?
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How you hold your
gun like this?
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The gangs in West
Side Story were
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more threatening than that, and
they were singing show tunes.
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And, finally, let's move
on to a lighter subject--
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slavery.
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Most people now agree
that slavery was wrong.
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But, apparently,
California is the only one
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that feels bad about it.
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California will soon
decide whether or not
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to give reparations
to its Black citizens.
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Right now, the
California Task Force
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is meeting in Sacramento
to assess how much
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each citizen might receive.
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One consideration
is roughly $360,000
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per eligible resident.
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REPORTER 3: The
Task Force is still
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working to determine what it
believes reparations should
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involve, which could include
cash payments, grants,
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and tuition assistance.
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There's only one thing
that would stop our children
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from busting into these liquor
stores and grocery stores
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stealing junk food and
stealing different things,
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and that's reparations.
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There's only one thing
that would stop our kids
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from busting into
these jewelry stores
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stealing watches and jewelry,
and that's reparations.
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Damn it, I agree
with the monopoly man.
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[laughter, applause]
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We need to let Black people
pass go and collect $200.
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It's time for some
free parking, damn it.
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[laughter, applause]
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I just love how he
was getting more
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threatening as he was talking.
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We need reparations.
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Otherwise, we're
going to rob liquor
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stores and jewelry, bitch.
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I stole this
mother-mother-[bleep] watch.
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You can see all the Black
folk behind him like, oh.
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Was this the best guy we
could get to represent us?
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He looks so sophisticated
with the little hat on.
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And you seen the watch?
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It was nice until I
found out he stole it.
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I don't know where they're
getting the money from,
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but I know where they
should get it from--
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Fruit of the Loom.
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They always saying that
shit is 100% cotton.
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Pay up, bitch.
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[laughter, applause]
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And they said
every Black person
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is going to get $360,000.
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What if you're mixed?
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You only get half?
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So Zendaya's only
good for 180k?
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So what does Chet Hanks get?
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Go suck on your mama's
dusty stinking crotch.
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Spit on your granny grave.
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That wigger got to be
worth at least 25 grand.
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For more on these reparations,
we go to Roy Wood Jr.
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Hey, hey.
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Yes, sir.
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Hi.
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00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:31,765
Yeah.
yeah.
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What's up, Roy?
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Hey, homie?
What's cracking?
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00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,569
What's cracking, homie?
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Marlon, good to see you.
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What's up, West side?
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00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:38,839
Yeah.
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00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,874
Why are you
talking like that?
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That's how we always talk out
here in Cali, in the Bay Area.
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You smell me?
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00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,916
West Side, Van Nuys, chicken
and waffles, too short, surf's
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up, snowfall, Franklin saint.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Matter of fact, let me put
on my authentic Cali hat.
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See?
See?
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Boom.
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00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:57,925
See?
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Now I look like the homie.
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I look just like the homie.
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00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:01,628
- Roy.
- He from Cali.
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00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:02,629
I'm from Cali.
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Roy, stop it.
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You're from Alabama.
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00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,101
Stop talking like that.
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You sound like Chet Hanks.
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Shut your hating
ass up and play along.
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Black people from all
over are about to start
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claiming California.
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I'm trying to get mine first.
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It's the Black gold rush.
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It's time to get paid.
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You know, I will say
I'm surprised that out
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of all the states,
it's California
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that's proposing reparations.
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Oh, definitely.
Definitely.
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It is a big surprise.
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You know, you got to
give props to California,
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my home state, for doing this.
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00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,762
You know, they did it before
Alabama, before Georgia,
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before South Carolina.
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And California
was a free state.
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Most of the slaves
in California
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was just people playing
slaves in movies.
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Jamie Foxx, LeVar Burton,
Cynthia Erivo, Amistad.
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You mean Djimon Hounsou.
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His name ain't Amistad?
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00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,950
Well, I guess it's always
Black History month.
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I learned something new.
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Roy, one reason why I know
you're not from California
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is because you think 360
grand can take you far.
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00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,363
It may take you far in
Alabama, but not LA.
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00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,898
That's going to
dry up real quick
258
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,900
after rent, gas, and cocaine.
259
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,067
OK.
OK.
260
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,068
True.
True.
261
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,069
You're right.
262
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,070
You're right.
So then how about this?
263
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,105
How about this?
264
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,873
Instead of splitting
up the reparation money
265
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,241
amongst all the Black folks.
266
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,476
MARLON WAYANS: Right.
267
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:26,146
Enter every Black person
into a reparations lottery,
268
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:30,083
and one person
gets all the money.
269
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:34,488
Like-- it's like
Powerball, but for slavery.
270
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:35,489
You on to something.
271
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,490
I like that.
272
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,491
Yeah.
273
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,559
Black Powerball.
274
00:12:38,659 --> 00:12:39,726
Yes, exactly.
275
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:40,727
Yeah.
276
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:41,929
But a lottery.
277
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,699
Man, that's a dumb
idea for reparation.
278
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:46,900
You think it's dumb.
279
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,236
You think a lottery with
a bunch of Black people--
280
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,437
you thing that's dumb?
281
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,273
You of all people should
support a lottery, Marlon.
282
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,876
Statistically speaking, the
odds are is that the winner
283
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:56,877
going to be a Wayans.
284
00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,113
It's 58 of y'all
last I checked.
285
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:03,584
It's like 73 Wayans.
286
00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:04,918
You know what?
287
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,421
Now that you put it like that,
I like this lottery idea.
288
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,488
Yeah.
289
00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:09,957
But aren't you going
to be mad if someone
290
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,124
else gets all that money?
291
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,492
No, I ain't tripping
if another Black
292
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:13,493
person win the money.
293
00:13:13,594 --> 00:13:14,661
Whoever win the
Black lottery, I'm
294
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,963
just going to borrow
the money from him
295
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,433
because he's my cousin.
296
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,901
But you don't know who it is.
297
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,169
It don't matter.
298
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,438
Once they win the money,
they're going to be my cousin.
299
00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:27,107
Speaking of which, is it
too late to become a Wayans?
300
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,642
I can do the paperwork.
301
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,978
All right, Roy
Wayans Jr, everyone.
302
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,546
[applause]
303
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,514
I'm a Wayans.
304
00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:35,816
I'm a Wayans.
305
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,985
Give it up for the top hat.
306
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:38,986
I'm a Wayans.
307
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,421
All right, when
we come back, we'll
308
00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:44,091
take a look at all my
critically acclaimed movies,
309
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,092
so don't go away.
310
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,529
[applause]
311
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:04,211
[crowd cheering]
312
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,180
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
313
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,515
The Oscars are this weekend.
314
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,884
So to celebrate, I thought
I'd take a look back
315
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,853
at one of my favorite
actors and some
316
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,088
of his greatest roles.
317
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:19,426
[music playing]
318
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,660
Hello.
319
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,764
I'm Marlon Wayans,
America's greatest actor.
320
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,667
And today, I'll be looking
back at some of my most iconic
321
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:31,404
roles and the preparation
I took to immerse
322
00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:38,378
myself in character.
323
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:43,016
What drew me to
White Chicks was
324
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:49,923
its mythological roots, which I
found almost Homeric in scope.
325
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:53,660
Let's take a look.
326
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,861
Everything all
right in there?
327
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,796
In preparation
for that scene,
328
00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:01,134
I mentally drew from act
four, scene three of Macbeth.
329
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,903
So powerful.
330
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,205
I also took so many
laxatives that I thought
331
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,073
I saw a knife floating
in front of me
332
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,609
and I tried to stab myself.
333
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:15,415
It's still in the White
Chicks Snyder cut.
334
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:20,253
Acting requires an almost
Machiavellian rawness.
335
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,890
To be naked in front
of one's audience--
336
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,793
that is why, in over
90% of my movies,
337
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,696
I am literally ass naked.
338
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:30,697
Man.
339
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:31,698
These gentlemen
will be escorting
340
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:32,699
you off the premises.
341
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,602
I don't care who you get to--
342
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,603
uh-oh.
343
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:41,508
[music playing]
344
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,577
A-man.
345
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,613
It's part of the
Stanislavski method.
346
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:50,817
Ja'Marr Stanislavski, he's
my schizophrenic neighbor.
347
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,085
He's always naked.
348
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,188
The results was an amazing
film that the Oscar voters
349
00:15:55,288 --> 00:16:00,393
described as not submitted.
350
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:04,297
I don't like to call
myself an actor.
351
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,132
I'm a thespian.
352
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:09,369
And in this film, I
really thessed out.
353
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,339
Now, you know there's avocado
in that nine-month layer dip.
354
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:13,340
I knew it.
355
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,509
I knew it.
356
00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,344
That's just nasty.
- What the hell?
357
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,578
Gross.
358
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:22,415
I also took on one of my
toughest acting challenges--
359
00:16:22,516 --> 00:16:24,284
playing a Black redhead.
360
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:31,091
Or, as I so cleverly improvised
in the movie, a ninger.
361
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:36,696
Combining Blackness
and red-headedness?
362
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:37,931
That's a tough one.
363
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:41,067
The only people to do it
successfully were Harry
364
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:44,171
and Meghan, an Ice Spice.
365
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,405
You thought I was feeling you?
366
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,675
That ninger's a munch.
367
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:49,743
It's funny.
368
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,879
People often compare
me to Marlon Brando.
369
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:58,585
Mostly because my name is
Marlon, but Marlon Brando,
370
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,654
respectfully, could
have never played
371
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,490
Christian in Fifty
Shades of Black
372
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:07,160
mostly because he's not Black.
373
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,762
And he's dead.
374
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,365
Christian Black, he's a very
textured and
375
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,334
complicated character.
376
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,170
And he spoke to me for
a number of reasons.
377
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:24,277
Primarily, the fact that
I love getting spanked.
378
00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:28,215
Honestly this was one
of my hardest roles.
379
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,550
I mean, especially
because Shorty
380
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,119
smokes marijuana, something
I have no experience with.
381
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,120
Chug!
Chug!
382
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,121
Chug!
Chug!
383
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,122
Chug!
Chug!
384
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,123
Chug!
Chug!
385
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,425
Yeah!
386
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:43,296
The director encouraged me
to try some, but I resisted.
387
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:48,435
I will not partake in
the devil's lettuce.
388
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,103
Ah, Requiem For A Dream.
389
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,073
Oh, yeah, I smoked
crack for that.
390
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,108
Yeah, I smoked a lot of crack.
391
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,409
I love that shit.
392
00:17:56,510 --> 00:18:01,681
I did tons and tons
and tons of crack.
393
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,417
For this movie, I also
smoked a ton of crack.
394
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,652
I don't even know why.
395
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,222
It wasn't part of
the plot at all.
396
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:14,528
[laughs]
397
00:18:14,628 --> 00:18:15,629
OK, now.
398
00:18:15,729 --> 00:18:18,031
Ooh, this one's real grabby.
399
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,101
At first, I turned this role
down because I didn't feel
400
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,502
like it was the right fit.
401
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,772
But then the studio backed
a dump truck full of cash
402
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:32,045
up to my house, and I
realized I was the right fit.
403
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,215
Little Man is, of
course, a remake
404
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:39,186
of the 1957 Swedish
tragedy Dinkum Onska.
405
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:43,456
During the filming, I drank
nothing but breast milk.
406
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:50,063
Still do.
407
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,566
It can be intimidating
to bare your soul
408
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,901
in front of the
audience, but that is
409
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:59,339
the sacred duty of a thespian.
410
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,241
How you doing.
411
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,709
Mmm.
412
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,010
Mmm.
413
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,512
Oh you won't bite my lip.
414
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,580
Oh.
415
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,884
We did, I think, 38
takes of that scene
416
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,587
over 4 grueling days.
417
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,089
Oh.
418
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,090
Ah.
419
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,158
Ah.
420
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,694
[chuckles] True story--
at the wrap party,
421
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:26,900
I had a threesome with that
teddy bear and Jeff Goldblum.
422
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,735
Benefits of fame.
423
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,504
And there you have it.
424
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,406
I'm Marlon Wayans,
a national treasure,
425
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:36,877
and those were some of
my most iconic roles.
426
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:42,682
I'm honored to share
my craft with you guys.
427
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,186
You know what I could
really go for right now?
428
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,054
Some crack.
429
00:19:48,155 --> 00:19:51,057
[music playing]
430
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:53,426
[crowd cheering]
431
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:54,794
Oh.
432
00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:57,397
What a national treasure he is.
433
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,632
What an artist.
434
00:19:58,732 --> 00:19:59,633
All right.
435
00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:01,434
Stay tuned because
when we come back,
436
00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:04,304
Mason Gooding will
be joining me today.
437
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,605
Don't go away.
438
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,742
[crowd cheering]
439
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:22,830
[cheering]
440
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,800
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
441
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,835
My guest tonight
is one of the stars
442
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,604
of the Scream movie franchise.
443
00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:33,441
He's reprising his role
as Chad in Scream VI
444
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,910
[suspenseful music]
445
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:39,847
[shattering glass]
446
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:46,821
[swish]
447
00:20:47,822 --> 00:20:48,723
[cheering]
448
00:20:48,823 --> 00:20:51,259
Please welcome Mason Gooding.
449
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:52,460
[cheering]
450
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:58,666
[applause]
451
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:00,568
How you doing, Mason?
452
00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:04,038
MASON: I'm so excited.
453
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:09,543
[cheering]
454
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,446
Oh, my goodness,
oh, my goodness.
455
00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,447
I am jealous.
456
00:21:13,547 --> 00:21:14,649
You are buff buff.
457
00:21:14,749 --> 00:21:17,818
Oh, stop it,
it's the steroids.
458
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,020
Well, hook me up
with your dealer.
459
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,021
Yeah.
460
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,489
[laughs]
461
00:21:21,589 --> 00:21:23,157
When did you steal
Deadpool's body?
462
00:21:23,190 --> 00:21:24,158
You got--
463
00:21:24,191 --> 00:21:25,159
That's hilarious.
464
00:21:25,226 --> 00:21:26,627
You about to fight The Rock.
That's good.
465
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:28,029
No, no.
466
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:31,165
I am, it's funny, when I was a
kid, I was a big fan of Oreos
467
00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:33,768
at nighttime, so I gained a
little weight pretty quickly.
468
00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:36,971
And my mom and dad were
like, listen, if you want,
469
00:21:37,071 --> 00:21:38,839
we can kind of hook you up
with something that'll keep
470
00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:40,374
you able to defend yourself.
471
00:21:40,474 --> 00:21:41,676
So I took up boxing.
472
00:21:41,776 --> 00:21:43,611
Oh, I thought they replaced
your Oreos with steroids.
473
00:21:43,711 --> 00:21:44,946
So they were like, listen.
474
00:21:45,046 --> 00:21:46,414
[laughs]
475
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,415
Listen, they might have.
476
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:48,516
It was a fast transition.
477
00:21:48,616 --> 00:21:51,352
Put some steroids
in his Lucky Charms.
478
00:21:51,452 --> 00:21:52,954
Um, congrats, man.
479
00:21:53,054 --> 00:21:53,955
Thank you.
480
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:55,222
I hear great things
about the movie.
481
00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:56,824
I hear you're headed
for a record opening--
482
00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:57,825
Hey, hey, I hope so.
483
00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:58,960
--in the whole franchise.
484
00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:04,865
Go on, brother, get
money, get money.
485
00:22:04,966 --> 00:22:08,936
So, you tell me anything
about the movie, anything that
486
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,739
happens, any spoilers,
anything that I could possibly
487
00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:14,475
put in Scary Movie IV?
488
00:22:14,575 --> 00:22:15,876
Right, right, right, right.
489
00:22:15,977 --> 00:22:20,147
[cheering]
490
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,149
Well, if that was the
goal, I might need to hook
491
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,751
you up for my personal gain.
492
00:22:23,851 --> 00:22:25,953
But I can tell
you it takes place
493
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,388
in the good city of New York.
494
00:22:27,488 --> 00:22:30,825
Oh.
495
00:22:30,925 --> 00:22:33,928
We've moved now to college,
so we're a little bit older,
496
00:22:34,028 --> 00:22:35,196
a little wiser,
hopefully, and we're
497
00:22:35,296 --> 00:22:37,164
trying to put what
happened to us in the past
498
00:22:37,198 --> 00:22:38,466
since the fifth movie.
499
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:41,335
Sixth movie is now
trying to up the ante,
500
00:22:41,435 --> 00:22:44,272
making it more violent,
more scary ideally,
501
00:22:44,372 --> 00:22:46,874
and then I think I'm shirtless
at one point in the movie.
502
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:48,976
[cheering]
503
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,845
See how he just
threw that in?
504
00:22:50,945 --> 00:22:55,783
I take my [bleep] out for
a half a scene or two.
505
00:22:55,883 --> 00:22:58,753
It's good to see you,
because I know your father.
506
00:22:58,853 --> 00:22:59,754
Yeah?
507
00:22:59,854 --> 00:23:00,755
That's so crazy.
508
00:23:00,855 --> 00:23:02,189
Like, I known Cuba so long.
509
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,190
Yeah.
510
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,427
Like, Cuba
Gooding Jr., amazing
511
00:23:06,527 --> 00:23:07,762
Academy Award-winning actor.
512
00:23:07,862 --> 00:23:11,966
[cheering]
513
00:23:12,066 --> 00:23:16,304
I always said, you know, he's
the only Black guy that I know
514
00:23:16,404 --> 00:23:17,805
that gets white guy wasted.
515
00:23:17,905 --> 00:23:19,140
That's right.
516
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,143
When he, when Cuba drinks,
you just hear (SCREAMING) woo!
517
00:23:22,209 --> 00:23:23,811
Yeah
518
00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:25,146
He pulls his titties out.
519
00:23:25,212 --> 00:23:27,481
I mean, what the
[bleep] is going on?
520
00:23:27,581 --> 00:23:28,849
But he's so much fun.
521
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:32,286
Actually, we was at an Oscar
party, and I walked up to him,
522
00:23:32,386 --> 00:23:33,754
he's so funny.
523
00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,623
I walk up to him, I
go, hey, what's up?
524
00:23:35,723 --> 00:23:37,959
He has bucket of chicken
that he just puts
525
00:23:38,059 --> 00:23:39,427
it on the top of his head.
526
00:23:39,527 --> 00:23:40,695
I think I got a picture of it.
527
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:41,696
Look.
528
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:47,068
[laughs]
529
00:23:47,168 --> 00:23:48,769
That's at an Oscar party.
530
00:23:48,869 --> 00:23:49,770
That's dad.
531
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,806
That's dad.
532
00:23:51,906 --> 00:23:53,407
It's something to
live up to, you know,
533
00:23:53,507 --> 00:23:55,009
just take it in stride.
534
00:23:55,176 --> 00:23:58,012
If I tried to keep up
with him and his persona,
535
00:23:58,179 --> 00:24:00,247
I'd fail absolutely
every time, so I took
536
00:24:00,348 --> 00:24:01,248
the opposite end of the route.
537
00:24:01,349 --> 00:24:02,350
I read books on Friday nights.
538
00:24:02,450 --> 00:24:03,351
Beautiful.
539
00:24:03,451 --> 00:24:05,519
I cuddle with
my dog and I leave
540
00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:08,422
that, him and his own devices.
541
00:24:08,522 --> 00:24:09,423
Well, good luck
with this, man.
542
00:24:09,523 --> 00:24:10,424
Thank you.
543
00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:11,425
I appreciate it.
544
00:24:11,525 --> 00:24:13,894
Make that money,
so we can parody it.
545
00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:14,895
Very proud of you.
546
00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:16,764
Thank you, thank you.
547
00:24:16,864 --> 00:24:20,601
Scream IV will be
in theaters March 10.
548
00:24:20,701 --> 00:24:22,336
OK, we're going to
take a quick break.
549
00:24:22,436 --> 00:24:24,305
We'll be right back
right after this.
550
00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:27,174
[cheering]
551
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:33,381
[cheering]
- All right!
552
00:24:33,481 --> 00:24:35,683
That's our show for tonight.
553
00:24:35,783 --> 00:24:38,853
Now, here it is,
your moment of zen.
554
00:24:38,953 --> 00:24:42,523
Are we ready to
take on the left?
555
00:24:42,623 --> 00:24:47,962
Are we ready to say,
the fake media stinks?
556
00:24:48,062 --> 00:24:50,498
All right, we got it, we
got our calling orders here.
557
00:24:50,598 --> 00:24:51,899
Actually, I don't
say they stink,
558
00:24:51,999 --> 00:24:53,134
but we'll just leave
it right there.
559
00:24:53,234 --> 00:24:54,135
That's fine.
[laughs]
560
00:24:54,235 --> 00:24:56,404
(SINGING) MTV.