1
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,388
Tommy:
<i> INFORMATION OFFICER'S LOG.</i>

2
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,523
<i> LAST TIME ON</i>
3rd ROCK FROM THE SUN,

3
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,926
<i> DICK WAS UPSET WHEN MARY</i>
<i> DECIDED TO GO TO BORNEO</i>
<i> FOR A YEAR.</i>

4
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,395
WHAT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT BORNEO?

5
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:33,832
<i> HE LATER HAD A HORRIBLE</i>
<i> NIGHTMARE ABOUT TELLING MARY</i>
<i> THE TRUTH THAT HE'S AN ALIEN.</i>

6
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,834
<i> AND, HAVING NEVER</i>
<i> DREAMT BEFORE,</i>

7
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:39,071
<i> - DICK THOUGHT HE WAS</i>
<i>  </i> LOSING HIS MIND.
<i> -</i> MARY!

8
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:42,106
<i> TO CALM HIM DOWN,</i>
<i> A DOCTOR PRESCRIBED</i>
<i> TRANQUILIZERS.</i>

9
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:45,977
<i> DICK QUICKLY BECAME ADDICTED</i>
<i> AND LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY.</i>

10
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,980
<i> NOT KNOWING</i>
<i> WHAT TO DO,</i>

11
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:50,248
<i> WE TRIED TO CONTACT</i>
<i> THE BIG, GIANT HEAD</i>
<i> FOR PERMISSION</i>

12
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,451
<i> TO RETURN TO THE HOME PLANET</i>
<i> FOR MAINTENANCE.</i>

13
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:54,653
<i> SALLY ALSO DREAMT</i>
<i> FOR THE FIRST TIME</i>

14
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,989
<i> AND BECAME CONVINCED</i>
<i> THAT SHE HAD KILLED DON.</i>

15
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,924
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

16
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:33,191
- DON?  DON?
WHERE'S DON?
- SALLY.

17
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,861
OH, DON!
I DIDN'T KILL YOU?

18
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,862
I DIDN'T KILL YOU!

19
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,732
NO, YOU JUST
EMASCULATED ME.

20
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,234
- I'VE GOT TO SEE SOMETHING.
- SALLY!

21
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,704
NO FEATHERS.

22
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,575
OH-- OH, MY GOD.

23
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,644
SALLY, UH, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO CALM DOWN.

24
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:56,648
OH, DON'T YOU SEE, DON?
YOU'RE ALIVE, WHICH MEANS
IT'S MY BRAIN,

25
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,718
MY SICK, TWISTED BRAIN.

26
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,521
I COULD BE CAPABLE
OF ANYTHING.
ANYTHING AT ALL!

27
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,523
( gasps )
THERE'S ONLY ONE HOPE, DON.
I'VE GOT TO GET ON THE PILL.

28
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,394
UM, THIS ISN'T HOW
I EXPECTED THIS TO HAPPEN,

29
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,997
BUT HEY.

30
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:15,300
DICK'S ON THE PILL,
AND IT SEEMS TO BE
WORKING FOR HIM.

31
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,769
OKAY, YOU LOST ME
AGAIN.

32
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,572
UH, I'LL CALL YOU WHEN
I'M NOT MYSELF ANYMORE.

33
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,180
OKAY, SO SHE'S CRAZY,

34
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,548
BUT SHE'S GOT LEGS
UP TO HER FACE!

35
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,657
- I LOVE TV.
- MMM, ME TOO.

36
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,959
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE TURN IT ON?

37
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,231
IT'S EVEN BETTER ON.

38
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,302
OH, MAN.

39
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,837
THE HIGH COMMANDER
AND THE LIEUTENANT
ARE INCAPACITATED.

40
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,839
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

41
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,575
THE INFORMATION OFFICER
TAKES OVER, AND THAT'S ME.

42
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,445
PERMISSION TO SPEAK,
HIGH COMMANDER.

43
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:03,281
- PERMISSION GRANTED.
- WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELL

44
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,384
JUST TAKE THIS MISSION,
ROLL IT UP AND STICK IT--

45
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,187
INCOMING MESSAGE

46
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,723
FROM THE BIG,
GIANT HEAD.

47
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,593
“YOUR REQUEST TO RETURN HOME
FOR EMERGENCY MAINTENANCE
HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED."

48
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,129
- YES!
- "THE TIME-SPACE PORTAL WILL
OPEN TOMORROW EVENING

49
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,131
( imitating electronic voice )
BETWEEN 8:51

50
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,668
AND 8:53 P.M.
EARTH TIME.

51
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,105
ON YOUR JOURNEY HOME,
WE WILL BE SHOWING<i> TIN CUP,</i>

52
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:30,642
STARRING KEVIN COSTNER
AND RENE RUSSO.”

53
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,511
WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
WE'RE GOING.

54
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,580
“THE BIG, GIANT HEAD
LOOKS FORWARD TO READING
YOUR COMPREHENSIVE REPORT

55
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,782
ON THE HISTORY
OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION.”

56
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,584
OH, NO.

57
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,656
<i> ( bell ringing )</i>

58
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,726
- TOMMY.
- MISS FROST.

59
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:51,562
- YOU MISSED CLASS TODAY.
- I-- YEAH, I DID.

60
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,033
THAT'S SO UNLIKE YOU.
YOU'RE USUALLY THE FIRST
TO COME AND THE LAST TO LEAVE.

61
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,968
YEAH.

62
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,439
MISS FROST,
I'M GONNA BE TRANSFERRING

63
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,975
TO ANOTHER, UH,
DISTRICT SOON,

64
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,444
BUT, UM, BEFORE I DO,
I WAS JUST WONDERING

65
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,513
IF YOU WANTED
TO TAKE ME UP ON MY OFFER.

66
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,983
YOU MEAN, YOUR OFFER
TO LET ME BE THE ONE TO
USHER YOU INTO MANHOOD?

67
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,523
- THE OFFER STILL STANDS.
- THANK YOU, NO.

68
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,328
I'M WEARIN' HER DOWN.

69
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,565
TOMMY, HOW'S
THE REPORT COMING?

70
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,834
I'M JUST PUTTING
THE FINISHING TOUCHES
ON IT NOW.

71
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,102
MAN, AM I GONNA BE GLAD
TO GET THIS THING
OFF MY SHOES.

72
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,874
<i> ( door opens, shuts )</i>

73
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,680
<i> ( animals chittering )</i>

74
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,287
<i> ( lion growls )</i>

75
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,298
- ( screams )
- ( roaring )

76
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,900
<i> ( bell ringing )</i>

77
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,706
Sally's voice, echoing:
<i> TOMMY!</i>

78
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,077
- Dicks's voice:<i> HELP!</i>
<i> -</i> Sally's voice:
<i> </i> HELP ME, TOMMY!

79
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,147
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING.

80
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,282
<i> ( voices continue faintly )</i>

81
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,819
Sally:
<i> TOMMY, HELP US!</i>

82
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,849
( cries out, grunting )

83
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,565
Sally's voice:
<i> OVER HERE AND HELP US!</i>

84
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,968
-<i> HELP ME!</i>
- Harry's voice:
<i> </i> HELP US!

85
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,840
Dick, Sally together:
<i> JUMP, TOMMY!  JUMP!</i>

86
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:21,079
- Dick:<i> YOU CAN DO IT!</i>
<i> -</i> Sally:<i> COME ON, TOMMY!</i>

87
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,315
( grunts )

88
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:37,228
Dick's voice:
<i> HELP US, TOMMY!</i>

89
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:46,238
Sally's voice:
<i> TOMMY, COME ON!</i>

90
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,549
<i> ( woman vocalizing )</i>

91
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,622
Dick's voice:
<i> THERE HE IS.</i>

92
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:18,169
( shouting indistinctly )

93
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,839
Dick:
<i> RIGHT OVER HERE, TOMMY!</i>

94
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,775
HELP US, TOMMY!

95
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,913
♪ BALI HAI ♪

96
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:30,715
- ♪ MAY CALL YOU ♪
- Dick: OH, NOT GOOD.

97
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,885
-<i> ♪ ANY NIGHT ♪</i>
- Sally:<i> TOMMY!</i>

98
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,755
-<i> ♪ ANY DAY ♪</i>
- Dick: COME ON, NOW!

99
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,823
- ♪ IN YOUR HEART ♪
- Dick:<i> YOU CAN'T</i>
<i>  LET THIS HAPPEN.</i>

100
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,091
STOP IT!

101
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,894
- ♪ WILL TELL YOU ♪
- COME ON!

102
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,497
<i> ♪ COME AWAY ♪</i>

103
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:48,299
♪ COME AWAY ♪

104
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,569
♪ BALI HAI ♪

105
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,705
♪ WILL WHISPER ♪

106
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,375
<i> ♪ ON THE WIND ♪</i>

107
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,777
<i> ♪ OF THE SEA ♪</i>

108
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,447
- TOMMY!
- ♪ HERE AM I ♪

109
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:06,184
♪ YOUR SPECIAL ISLAND ♪

110
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,920
♪ COME TO ME ♪

111
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,589
♪ COME TO ME ♪

112
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:15,226
- DON'T DO IT, TOMMY!
- ♪ BALI HAI ♪

113
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:19,664
♪ BALI HAI ♪

114
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,401
♪ BALI HAI. ♪

115
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,673
( both screaming )

116
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,677
- Harry:<i> TOMMY!</i>
- ( screaming )

117
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,514
OH, DICK, SALLY!

118
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,183
IT'S HAPPENING TO ME TOO!
I'M FALLING APART
AT THE SEAMS!

119
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,186
OH, THIS CHAIR
FEELS ALL SOFT
ON MY BOTTOM.

120
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,256
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?
THIS IS SERIOUS!

121
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,792
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD
FOR SERIOUS THINGS?
ONE OF THOSE.

122
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,861
OH, NO, NO, NO, TOMMY.
DON'T DO IT.

123
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,696
LOOK, TOMMY.
LOOK HOW PRETTY THEY ARE.

124
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,268
AND THEY HAVE A LINE
DOWN THE MIDDLE WHERE YOU
CAN BREAK THEM IN HALF.

125
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,871
- SO YOU CAN TAKE HALF?
- NO, SO YOU CAN TAKE
ONE AND A HALF.

126
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,240
NO, TOMMY,
YOU GOT TO BE STRONG.

127
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:06,844
YOU'RE RIGHT.  AS ACTING
HIGH COMMANDER, I ORDER YOU
TO TURN OVER THE PILLS.

128
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,980
OH, HE THINKS
HE'S HIGH COMMANDER.

129
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,849
THAT'S SO CUTE.
LET'S GIVE HIM A SALUTE.

130
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,386
HARRY,
GET RID OF 'EM!

131
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,321
NO, NOT THAT WAY!

132
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,895
TOMMY, HARRY,

133
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,231
I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR GETTING US
OFF THAT PILL.

134
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,435
- OH, YOU FEEL BETTER?
- OH, I FEEL HORRIBLE.

135
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,703
BUT AT LEAST I FEEL.

136
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,705
WELL, WE JUST HAVE
TO KEEP IT TOGETHER
FOR A FEW MORE HOURS.

137
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,642
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WHILE WE WERE “OUT,”

138
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,644
TOMMY GOT A HOLD
OF THE BIG, GIANT HEAD.

139
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:43,047
- WE LEAVE TONIGHT AT 8:53.
- LAST CHANCE FOR ICE CREAM.

140
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,883
- WHEN ARE WE COMING BACK?
- I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T ASK.

141
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,186
WHO KNOWS?
THE SERVICE DEPARTMENT'S
ALWAYS BACKED UP.

142
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,455
YEP.  THEY'LL PROBABLY
HAVE TO SEND OUT FOR PARTS.

143
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,690
COULD BE A WEEK,
COULD BE A YEAR,
COULD BE 200 YEARS.

144
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,692
- WHAT ABOUT MARY?
- OH, SHE'LL BE DEAD.

145
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:58,563
( gasps )
I CAN'T LEAVE HER
WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.

146
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,832
- WAIT!
DICK, THERE ISN'T TIME.
- SURE, THERE IS.

147
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,000
NO, LISTEN,
I KNOW YOU, DICK.
YOU'RE GONNA GO THERE,

148
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,369
YOU'RE GONNA GET ALL
OOEY-GOOEY, AND YOU'LL
MISS THE TRANSPORT.

149
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,872
THAT IS SUCH
A LIE!

150
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,274
WELL, REMEMBER ONE THING:
HARRY IS THE TRANSMITTER,

151
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,276
AND HE'S COMING
WITH US, OKAY?

152
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,345
SO WITHOUT HIM,
YOU'D BE STRANDED
HERE FOREVER.

153
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,747
DON'T WORRY.
I'M GONNA STEEL
MYSELF UP,

154
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,750
MARCH IN THERE,
AND JUST DO
THE HEADLINES--

155
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,185
“LOVE YA, MISS YA,
GOOD-BYE.”

156
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,354
AND MAYBE A LITTLE
SECOND-BASE ACTION,
BUT THAT'S IT.

157
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,931
HELLO, MARY.
I CAME BY TO SAY

158
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,933
I WILL MISS YOU
TERRIBLY.

159
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,968
REALLY?
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I SHOULD KNOW?

160
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,904
YES.  I CARE
ABOUT YOU DEEPLY
AND I LOVE YOU.

161
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,174
OF COURSE.
DO YOU MIND IF I PACK?

162
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,442
( yelps )

163
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,512
- WHAT?
- NOTHING.

164
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,447
I BIT MY FIST.

165
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,818
IN CONCLUSION,
I'LL ALWAYS CARRY
A LOCKET OF YOUR DNA,

166
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,354
AND YOU'LL BE GLAD
TO KNOW THAT THE VISION
OF YOUR NAKED BODY

167
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,989
WILL BE WITH ME
FOR ALL TIME.

168
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,393
WELL, I GUESS THERE'S
NOTHING ELSE TO SAY
BUT GOOD BYE.

169
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,395
- GOOD BYE, DICK.
- GOOD BYE, MARY.

170
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,464
I'M WALKING AWAY NOW.

171
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,802
NO.

172
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,839
NO, THIS IS NOT
HOW IT ENDS.

173
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,709
THIS HAS BEEN A LONG
AND DIFFICULT JOURNEY,
AND IT WILL NOT END THIS WAY.

174
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:21,946
THERE WILL BE
NO TEPID FAREWELLS
FOR US.

175
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,981
I NEED YOU, MARY--

176
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,350
YOUR EYES, YOUR FACE,

177
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,787
YOUR EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY--
ESPECIALLY YOUR CRANNY.

178
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,860
YOU ARE MARY WORLD,
AND I LOVE MARY WORLD.

179
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,630
IT'S THE HAPPIEST
PLACE ON EARTH.

180
00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:42,233
OH, COME ON, MARY!
LET'S TAKE A SPIN
ON THOSE TEACUPS!

181
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,974
- I DON'T WANT TO GO!
- I DON'T WANT TO GO EITHER!

182
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,343
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- UH, NOWHERE.

183
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,345
MAYBE I AM
LOSING MY MIND,

184
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,581
BUT WHILE THERE'S
A LITTLE LEFT,
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.

185
00:11:56,583 --> 00:12:00,417
- MARRY ME?
- SURE, I'LL MARRY YOU.
WE'LL BE SO HAPPY.

186
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,686
THIS IS SO GREAT!

187
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,889
I KNOW!

188
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,831
- HE'S LATE.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO LEAVE HIM BEHIND.

189
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,367
NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND.
NOT ON MY WATCH.

190
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:20,504
- THEN WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
- WELL, 20 FEET OF ROPE
AND A BLUNT OBJECT.

191
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,140
THERE'S ROPE IN THE BASEMENT.
LET'S GO GET IT.
HARRY, YOU KEEP PACKING,

192
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,209
AND DON'T FALL ASLEEP
ON THE JOB.

193
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,581
“I'M MISS BOSSY.

194
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,518
I GET TO TELL EVERYBODY

195
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,687
WHAT TO DO.”
( yawning )

196
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:44,996
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

197
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:48,700
♪ I'VE GOT VERY FEW
COMPLAINTS SO FAR ♪

198
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:58,776
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

199
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:03,447
♪ HOPE YOU'RE AS HAPPY
WHEREVER YOU ARE ♪

200
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,251
♪ I GOT THE BLUE SKY ♪

201
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,453
♪ EVERY MORNIN' ♪

202
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,056
♪ A BIG, YELLOW MOON
AT NIGHT ♪

203
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:15,960
♪ I ALWAYS DO
WHATEVER I WANT TO ♪

204
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:19,030
♪ AND EVERYTHING I DO ♪

205
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,466
♪ IT ALWAYS
TURNS OUT RIGHT ♪

206
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,535
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

207
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,206
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

208
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:31,743
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

209
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,479
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

210
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,916
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

211
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,586
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

212
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,157
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

213
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,894
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

214
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:55,867
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

215
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:59,703
♪ MAN, I WOULD NOT
CHANGE A THING ♪

216
00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:03,074
Female chorus:
<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME ♪</i>

217
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,343
<i>  LIFE HAS</i>
<i> BEEN GOOD TO ME ♪</i>

218
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:10,447
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

219
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:14,685
♪ CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING ♪

220
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,890
♪ IN EVERY LIFE ♪

221
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:23,060
♪ A LITTLE RAIN
MUST SURELY FALL ♪

222
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:26,630
♪ I'M HERE TO SAY ♪

223
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,432
♪ THAT THERE'S A RAINBOW ♪

224
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:32,436
♪ JUST AROUND EVERY CORNER ♪

225
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:43,180
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

226
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:46,784
♪ WELL, I ADMIT
I'VE HAD A BALL ♪

227
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,687
Female chorus:
<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME ♪</i>

228
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:53,157
- ( laughing )
-<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME ♪</i>

229
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:57,128
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

230
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,697
♪ I NEVER WORRY 'BOUT ♪

231
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,433
♪ NOTHIN' AT ALL ♪

232
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,703
♪ I GOT SOME GOOD FRIENDS ♪

233
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,771
♪ THEY ADORE ME ♪

234
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,641
♪ AND KNOW HOW
TO TREAT ME RIGHT ♪

235
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:14,312
♪ I GOT A GOOD GAL
WAITIN' FOR ME ♪

236
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,047
♪ I'VE WON EVERY FIGHT
I'VE BEEN IN ♪

237
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,417
♪ AND IT ALWAYS TURNS OUT ♪

238
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,286
♪ THAT I WAS RIGHT ♪

239
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:25,022
AH.
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

240
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,926
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

241
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,831
♪ HEY, HEY ♪

242
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:41,038
<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN</i>
<i> GOOD TO ME ♪</i>

243
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,175
Female chorus:
<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD ♪</i>

244
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:47,812
♪ LIFE HAS BEEN
GOOD TO ME ♪

245
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,347
<i> ♪ LIFE HAS BEEN GOOD. ♪</i>

246
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,719
THANKS, MRS. DUBCEK.
I WOULDN'T ASK YOU
TO LET ME IN

247
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,587
IF I DIDN'T THINK
SALLY REALLY NEEDED HELP.

248
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,456
YOU KNOW, I USED TO DATE
A POLICE OFFICER.

249
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,826
MAYBE YOU KNOW HIM--
TEDDY RUBINO.

250
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,497
HE'S THE GUY WHOSE WIFE
PUT A SLUG IN HIM
FOR FOOLING AROUND.

251
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:15,539
DEAR GOD!
STAND BACK.

252
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,745
- I'M AFRAID HE'S DEAD.
- ( gasps )

253
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:25,082
- ARE YOU SURE?
- OF COURSE I'M SURE.
I'M A COP.

254
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,118
- HI, DON.
- ( gasps )

255
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,957
DAMN IT, I GOT TO LEARN
HOW TO TAKE A PULSE.

256
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,793
- DON.
- SALLY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

257
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,795
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
LISTEN, HARRY,
GET A HAMMER.

258
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,298
- TOMMY, GET THE SACK.
I'LL GET THE STRING CHEESE.
- “STRING CHEESE”?

259
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,366
OH, GOD, I'M STARVING!

260
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,871
I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST.

261
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:51,442
TO DICK AND MARY.
MAY YOU BOTH BE
AS HAPPY AS I AM.

262
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,246
UH...
( clears throat )

263
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,048
DICK, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?

264
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,116
SALLY, UH, SURE.

265
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:02,720
EXCUSE ME.
UH, DON'T GET MARRIED
WITHOUT ME.

266
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,125
OH, I'M GLAD YOU CAME.
I WAS-- I WAS GONNA CALL.

267
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,695
OH, CUT THE CRAP, DICK.
LISTEN, YOU'RE A MESS.
YOU'RE COMING WITH US.

268
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,696
- WE'RE GOING HOME.
- THIS IS MY HOME.

269
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,832
- WHAT?
- MARY AND I
ARE GETTING MARRIED.

270
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,901
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT,
WILLIS?

271
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,773
I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

272
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,708
I'D RATHER DIE HERE
WITH MARY THAN RISK
LOSING HER FOREVER.

273
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,811
OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE HIGH
COMMANDER,

274
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,013
AND WE RESPECT
YOUR DECISION.

275
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,448
- GET HIM!
- ( all clamoring )

276
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,885
- WHAT THE HELL?
- OH, UH, HELLO, MARY.

277
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,288
DON'T WORRY.
THE “BESACKING” OF THE GROOM
IS A TIME-HONORED TRADITION.

278
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,091
WHAT KIND OF TRADITION?

279
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,260
I'M GONNA GO
WITH “JEWISH.”

280
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,431
OKAY.
DICK, WE HAVE TO GO.
WE HAVE GUESTS.

281
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,134
- ALL RIGHT.
- DICK, ARE YOU SURE,

282
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,670
ABSOLUTELY SURE
YOU WANT TO GO BACK
TO THE PARTY?

283
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,971
ABSOLUTELY.

284
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,708
WELL, THIS IS
GOOD BYE, THEN.

285
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:01,646
IT'S JUST CAKE AND CHAMPAGNE.
HE'LL BE HOME IN HALF AN HOUR.

286
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,514
OH, YEAH.  TRUE.

287
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:07,351
- SO I'LL SEE YOU
IN A HALF AN HOUR.
- SOUNDS GOOD.

288
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,687
PICK UP SOME MILK
ON THE WAY HOME, HMM?

289
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,256
I WILL.
I PROMISE.

290
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:15,759
- I'LL BE AT THE MALL
IF YOU NEED ME.
- DON'T STAY LONG.

291
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,362
IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT,
AND I WORRY.

292
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,698
COME TO THE STORE,
DICK.

293
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,435
OUR COUPONS ARE
IN YOUR CAR.

294
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:29,172
THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN
IN YOUR CAR!

295
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,143
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,
HE'S JUST GETTING MARRIED.

296
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:35,112
OH, YEAH.

297
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:40,151
WELL, WE GOT TO GO.
THE STORE CLOSES AT 8:53.

298
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,426
GOOD BYE!

299
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:52,163
WILL THEY BE
LIVING WITH US?

300
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,468
I NEVER DREAMED I'D SEE
THE DAY DR. ALBRIGHT
SETTLED DOWN.

301
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,570
MARY HASN'T
SETTLED DOWN.

302
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,340
SHE'S JUST SETTLED.
( laughing )

303
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,843
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS
STRANGE,

304
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,012
BUT I HAD A DREAM
YOU ASKED ME
TO MARRY YOU.

305
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:11,548
- YOU HAD A WHAT?
- A DREAM.

306
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,552
I WAS DROWNING
IN A SWIMMING POOL,

307
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:18,289
AND MY FATHER WAS
THE LIFEGUARD,

308
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,858
AND HE WAS SAVING ME,
AND I LOOKED UP

309
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,826
AND IT WASN'T HIM,
IT WAS YOU.

310
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,929
AND YOU WERE WEARING
FLIPPERS

311
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,431
AND BLACK SOCKS,

312
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,633
AND YOU OFFERED ME
A RING.

313
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:32,803
MARY, IT'S CONTAGIOUS!
YOU'RE AS CRAZY AS I AM!

314
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,874
I KNOW IT'S CRAZY.
IT WOKE ME UP OUT OF
A SOUND SLEEP.

315
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,077
YES!
THAT'S WHEN IT STRIKES--
WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP!

316
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,880
WELL, YEAH, DICK.
THAT'S WHEN MOST
PEOPLE DREAM.

317
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:46,083
“MOST PEOPLE DREAM”?

318
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,885
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
- NOTHING.

319
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,154
NOTHING'S THE MATTER
WITH ME.

320
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:54,358
AND THERE'S NOTHING THE MATTER
WITH TOMMY AND SALLY.

321
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:58,328
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S NOTHING THE MATTER
WITH ANY OF US!

322
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:02,132
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- HOME!  BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

323
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,938
HELLO?  SALLY?

324
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,574
HARRY?  TOMMY?

325
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,112
“DEAR DICK,
OF ALL THE PEOPLE
WE'VE WORKED FOR,

326
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:18,982
YOU WERE THE BEST,
YOU STUPID, STUPID MAN.”

327
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,424
AND THEY'RE GONE.

328
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,559
I MISS THEM.

329
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,829
“P.S.: WE GOT YOU
A WEDDING GIFT.
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.”

330
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,266
A TOASTER.

331
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:39,736
THE TOASTER
FROM THE KITCHEN.

332
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,738
-<i> DICK?</i>
-<i> IN HERE.</i>

333
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,542
YOU LEFT
THE PARTY SO SUDDENLY.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

334
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,044
OH, MARY.

335
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,446
I CHOSE TO STAY WITH YOU
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART,

336
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,349
WHICH, AS IT TURNS OUT,
IS A HELL OF A LOT
LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

337
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,985
- WHAT?
- WHICH IS FINE.
IT'S JUST FINE.

338
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,521
- WHERE IS YOUR FAMILY?
- THEY TOOK OFF.

339
00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:59,757
AND IT'S ALL
MY FAULT.

340
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,693
BUT I'M GONNA FIND THEM.
NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES,

341
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,295
NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO DO,
I'M GOING TO FIND THEM

342
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,598
AND GET THEM BACK--
THIS I VOW!

343
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,501
WHERE'D THEY GO?

344
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,436
PIZZA.

345
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:41,966
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>