1 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:07,006 ( dramatic soundtrack playing on TV ) 2 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,174 ( steady beep ) 3 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,877 WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID YOU DO? DICK, HE TOUCHED IT! 4 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,713 ( all arguing ) 5 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:17,416 ( blows whistle ) WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE? 6 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,917 YOU ALMOST MADE ME SPILL MY JOE. 7 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,952 THAT NOISE, DON-- WHAT IS IT? 8 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,056 ( turns volume off ) 9 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,058 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, 10 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,427 THERE'S NO NEED TO PANIC. 11 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:32,497 THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM. 12 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,134 - WHY? IS THERE AN EMERGENCY? - NO. 13 00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,836 THIS HAS ONLY BEEN A TEST. 14 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,205 HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED 15 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,641 ON WHERE TO GO IN YOUR AREA FOR SHELTER. 16 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,709 - SHELTER FROM WHAT? - BOMBS. 17 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,812 - ( all gasping ) - TO INTERRUPT A PROGRAM OF THIS QUALITY 18 00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,882 UNDER THE GUISE OF NATIONAL SECURITY IS PREPOSTEROUS! 19 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,285 OOH, LOOK. IT'S BACK ON. 20 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,757 HMM, X-FILES. 21 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,426 NEVER REALLY GOT IT. 22 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,762 I KNOW. IT'S SO INACCURATE. 23 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,331 SAY, SALLY, HOW'S ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT 24 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,467 I BUY YOU THE BIGGEST STEAK IN TOWN? 25 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,469 HOW'S ABOUT YOU THROW IN A BAKED POTATO? 26 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,471 HOW'S ABOUT YOU WEAR THAT RED DRESS? 27 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,840 - HOW'S ABOUT YOU PICK ME UP AT 8:00? - HOW'S ABOUT I COME EARLY? 28 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,176 HOW'S ABOUT YOU LET US WATCH OUR SHOW? 29 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:23,148 OH, LOOK AT THIS. I BET THEY BREAK THE GENETIC CODE 30 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:27,052 AND REALIZE SCULLY'S BEEN IMPLANTED BY THE SMOKIN' GUY. 31 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:30,855 OH, LOOK AT THAT! THE ALIEN JUST PUT A PROBE IN THAT GUY'S EAR. 32 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,191 EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU CAN'T GET A BRAIN SCAN THROUGH THE EAR. 33 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,028 YOU GOT TO GO THROUGH THE BUTT. 34 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,263 YOU KNOW, I BET I COULD WRITE A KILLER X-FILES. 35 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,265 ( scoffs ) I COULD WRITE ONE IN MY SLEEP. 36 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,734 - I COULD WRITE ONE HANGING UPSIDE-DOWN. - I COULD WRITE ONE WITH CRAYON. 37 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,036 I COULD WRITE ONE IF I LOST BOTH MY ARMS AND HAD TO TYPE WITH MY FEET. 38 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,239 - I COULD WRITE ONE-- - I WANT TO WATCH ONE! 39 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,508 WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP AND GO WRITE ONE? 40 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,377 FINE, THEN. WE WILL. COME ON, HARRY. 41 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,046 - YEAH, COME ON. - GOOD! 42 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,048 AND WHEN IT'S ON TV, I'LL TALK ALL THROUGH THE DAMN THING, 43 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,251 SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT! 44 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:02,821 SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE THE PROBE OUT OF HIS BUTT. 45 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,925 ( '50s rock music playing ) 46 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,060 SO SAD WHEN A COLLEAGUE LEAVES. 47 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,097 YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY FEEL AS THOUGH A PART OF YOURSELF-- 48 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,809 SO, SONJA, IT'S A SHAME 49 00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,111 WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER. 50 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,881 UH, YES, 15 YEARS GOES BY 51 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,784 RATHER QUICKLY, DOESN'T IT? 52 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,621 YEAH. SO, UH... 53 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,257 WHY'D YOU DECIDE TO TAKE THAT JOB AT COLUMBIA? 54 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,026 UM, WELL, MY MIND WAS MADE UP 55 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,563 ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT THEY HAD THE ONLY UNPUBLISHED COLLECTION 56 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,565 OF THE EARLY GEOMETRY WRITINGS 57 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,534 OF NICOLAI LOBACHEVSKY. 58 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,972 THAT WOULD BE MY MAJOR REASON FOR RELOCATING. 59 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,144 - CAN WE TAKE MORE THAN ONE? - OH, TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 60 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,713 NOBODY'S GONNA SHOW UP TO THIS THING. 61 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,284 YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. 62 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,686 POOR SONJA UMDAHL HAS WASTED YEARS OF HER LIFE 63 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,489 IN THIS STUFFY, MILDEWED BOOK MAUSOLEUM. 64 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,524 THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WISH HER WELL. 65 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,361 YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! 66 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,829 UH, GOOD-BYE, SONJA. 67 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,233 WELL, SHE DOESN'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS, DOES SHE? 68 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,102 NO, SHE'S JUST SHY 69 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,071 AND INTROVERTED, 70 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,106 WEIRD. 71 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,175 GO INTRODUCE YOURSELF. 72 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,177 OH, NO, MARY! SOME OF THE STUDENTS SAID 73 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,780 THAT SHE HAS SPIDERS IN HER HAIR! 74 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,716 GET OVER THERE! 75 00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:22,127 AH! MORGAN'S PHYSICAL BASIS OF HEREDITY. 76 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,129 IT'S A QUICK READ, 77 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,964 ALTHOUGH I DID FIND THE FOOTNOTES INTRUSIVE. 78 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:30,568 - ME TOO. - DICK SOLOMON, PHYSICS DEPARTMENT. 79 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,637 SONJA UMDAHL. 80 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,739 I KNEW YOU TWO WOULD GET ALONG! 81 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:37,576 WELL, THANKS FOR COMING. 82 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,845 AND STAYING. 83 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,649 - SO, UH, LET'S GO. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 84 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,817 I GOT AN IDEA. LET'S DO THIS RIGHT. 85 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,086 SONJA, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER TO MY HOUSE TONIGHT, 86 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,456 SAY, UH, 7:00, AND WE'LL FIX A GOING-AWAY DINNER FOR YOU. 87 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,725 - I'LL BRING DESSERT. - GREAT! 88 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,461 WELL, UM-- 89 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,980 HI, UH, EXCUSE ME. I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY, 90 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,048 A BIG, STRAPPING GUY, HANDSOME. 91 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,650 - HE'S A COP. - HI. 92 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,853 - HERE I AM. - GOOD FOR YOU. I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY. 93 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,492 SALLY? IT'S ME, DON. 94 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,895 DON? 95 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,865 DID YOU SHAVE YOUR MUSTACHE? 96 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,968 I NEVER HAD A MUSTACHE. 97 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,371 ARE YOU WEARING CONTACTS? 98 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,073 NO, SALLY, I'M WEARING MY GLASSES. 99 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,344 - ARE THEY NEW? - NOT SINCE EIGHTH GRADE. 100 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,118 - IN STRICTLY QUANTUM TERMS. - OF COURSE. 101 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,853 AND JUST LIKE YOU CAN HAVE QUARKS AND ANTI-QUARKS-- 102 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,888 AND NEUTRINOS AND ANTI-NEUTRINOS. 103 00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:01,692 WAIT A MINUTE. ISN'T A NEUTRINO A BREAKFAST BAR? 104 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,430 YOU WERE SAYING? 105 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,566 YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A PARTICLE 106 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,567 THAT DOESN'T HAVE A COUNTERPART-- 107 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,936 BUT IS AN ENERGY ALL TO ITSELF 108 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,572 - WHICH EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY AS ITS OWN OPPOSITE. - RIGHT. 109 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,642 - Both: THE PHOTON! - YES! 110 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,277 ( both laughing, chattering indistinctly ) 111 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,382 OH, DR. SOLOMON! 112 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,186 - YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE. - AND YOU... 113 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:32,123 ARE A PUDDLE OF SMARTNESS. 114 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,659 OKAY, THAT'S IT. PARTY'S OVER. 115 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,728 DRIVE HER HOME. 116 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,998 MARY, IT'S SO EARLY. I WANTED TO HEAR SONJA'S THOUGHTS ON REFRACTION. 117 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,035 WELL, I'M SURE IT WOULDN'T BE THAT INTERESTING. 118 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,103 OH, SONJA, I'M SURE IT'S FASCINATING, 119 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,105 BUT I'D RATHER GO TO BED. 120 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:51,509 SO HAVE A NICE FLIGHT, DRIVE, LIFE, 121 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,444 WHATEVER. 122 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,748 I'M SO GLAD WE MET. 123 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,984 AND I'M SO GLAD YOU DON'T HAVE SPIDERS IN YOUR HAIR. 124 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,656 OKAY, HARRY, THE FIRST SCENE IS CRITICAL. 125 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,592 WE HAVE TO HOOK THE VIEWERS WITH SOMETHING EXCITING. 126 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,628 HOW ABOUT A PICNIC? 127 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:14,899 - PICNICS AREN'T EXCITING. - I'VE BEEN TO SOME EXCITING PICNICS. 128 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,635 WE NEED SOMETHING TO GET THE JUICES FLOWING. 129 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,637 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST START WITH A FIGHT. 130 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,039 OOH! I BET THAT MIGHT JUST WORK. 131 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,959 “SCULLY... 132 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,163 AND MULDER... AT A PICNIC.” 133 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,098 ( yelling ) 134 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:55,139 - GOOD MORNING. - YES, ISN'T IT? 135 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,742 THE AIR IS CRISP. DEW IS ON-- 136 00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:00,712 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 137 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,847 I TOOK SONJA HOME, 138 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,782 AND WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT I SPENT THE NIGHT. 139 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,688 - DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER? - NO! 140 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,391 I ONLY DO THAT WITH YOU! 141 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:17,161 AND SOMETIMES FARRAH FAWCETT IN MY HEAD. 142 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,297 MARY, ALL WE WANTED TO DO WAS TALK. 143 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:22,467 A MAN AND A WOMAN CANNOT CONNECT INTELLECTUALLY 144 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:26,371 WITHOUT EVENTUALLY CONNECTING WITH THEIR CONNECTORS. 145 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,807 ARE YOU SAYING THAT JUST BECAUSE SONJA AND I SHARE 146 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,110 THE SAME INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS, WE'RE DESTINED TO SHARE THE SAME BED? 147 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,679 - YES. - BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS! 148 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,049 SONJA'S FAR TOO INTELLIGENT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. 149 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,059 - HERE YOU GO. - THANK YOU. 150 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,229 NINA, DO YOU HAVE MANY MEN FRIENDS? 151 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:55,300 - OH, YEAH, LOTS. - AND THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS? YOU DON'T... YOU KNOW. 152 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,302 ( chuckles ) THEN, NO. 153 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,239 I THINK SONJA UMDAHL LIKES DICK. 154 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,809 SO? A MAN WOULD HAVE TO BE A LUNATIC 155 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,078 TO BE ATTRACTED TO THAT WOMAN. 156 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,948 - UH-OH. - OH, NO, NINA. 157 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,617 I TRUST DICK, I REALLY DO, BUT... 158 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,520 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THAT WOMAN THAT BOTHERS ME. 159 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,391 - WANT TO KNOW WHAT I HEARD? - WHAT? 160 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,661 SOMETIMES IF YOU PEEK THROUGH THE LIBRARY WINDOW 161 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,663 - AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING, - YEAH? 162 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:28,066 YOU CAN CATCH HER WITH SNAKES MOVING ALL OVER HER HEAD. 163 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,235 JUST MOVING ALL OVER HER HEAD. 164 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,137 SNAKES AND MO-- OH, AND THEN I RINSE 165 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,107 AND THEN I REPEAT 166 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,175 AND THEN I RINSE AND THEN I'M DONE. 167 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,578 OH, HELLO, SONJA. I THOUGHT YOU MOVED. 168 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,548 UM, SOON, SOON. 169 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:46,184 I'M JUST TYING UP DEAD ENDS. 170 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,186 GREAT. 171 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,989 I, UH, UNDERSTAND YOU AND DICK 172 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,691 HAD AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT. 173 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,227 - OH, HE TOLD YOU? - DICK TELLS ME EVERYTHING. 174 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,898 UH, WHAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW IS, ARE YOU AFTER DICK SOLOMON, YES OR NO? 175 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,166 OH, MY GOD! IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? 176 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,169 THAT I WANT YOUR BOYFRIEND? 177 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,838 UH, YEAH. 178 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,140 OH, I'M SO SORRY. 179 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,209 I NEVER SHOULD HAVE KEPT TALKING, 180 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,511 BORING HIM WITH MY THOUGHTS. 181 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,513 PLEASE FORGIVE ME. 182 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,183 YOU'RE THE ONLY FRIEND I HAVE. 183 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,086 I'M SORRY. 184 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,389 IT'S OKAY. I'M STILL YOUR FRIEND. 185 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,792 - SO'S DICK. - 'KAY. 186 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,729 DO YOU WANT TO GO GET A CUP OF COFFEE? 187 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:34,265 NO, I'LL JUST STAY HERE FOR A MOMENT. 188 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,968 ( shuddering sobs ) I HAVE TO GET MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER. 189 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,006 OH, OH, OKAY, HONEY. 190 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,642 I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! YOU MADE HER CRY! 191 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,117 ( deep calm voice ) HELLO, PROFESSOR. 192 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,352 SONJA, I THOUGHT YOU LEFT. 193 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,255 I COULDN'T LEAVE, DR. SOLOMON. 194 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,257 I COULDN'T LEAVE YOU. 195 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,793 OH, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 196 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,430 YOU CAN PRETEND ALL YOU WANT, PROFESSOR, 197 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,699 BUT SONJA SEES THROUGH YOUR LITTLE CHAR-R-ADE. 198 00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:12,470 - TAKE ME! - SONJA, I CAN'T DO THIS WITH YOU! 199 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,573 THIS IS WHAT MARY IS FOR. 200 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,942 AH, COME ON! 201 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,444 DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU ALWAYS TALK CALCULUS 202 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,513 WITH WOMEN YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO? 203 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,984 NOW, SONJA IS ITCHY! SCRATCH HER! 204 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,565 DICK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I SPOKE WITH SONJA TODAY. 205 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,367 - YOU DID? I DIDN'T. - SHE CONSIDERS US 206 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,237 TO BE JUST GOOD FRIENDS-- THAT'S ALL SHE WANTS. 207 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,173 THEN WHY DID SHE TRY TO DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO ME? 208 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:51,175 - WHAT? - RIGHT HERE ON THIS DESK! 209 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,646 THINGS THAT ONLY YOU DO! NOT NEARLY OFTEN ENOUGH. 210 00:11:56,750 --> 00:12:00,184 - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! - BELIEVE IT, MARY. SHE WANTS ME! 211 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,954 AND NOT JUST MY MIND. SHE WANTS MY BODY, 212 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,389 MY BEAUTIFUL BODY! 213 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,459 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WOMAN STOOD IN MY OFFICE AND LIED TO ME! 214 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,961 BUT I RESISTED HER, MARY. 215 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,029 I TOLD HER I WASN'T INTERESTED IN HER THAT WAY. 216 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:15,265 - I SHOULD HOPE SO! - I TOLD HER TO GET RIGHT OUT OF OUR OFFICE. 217 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,301 GOOD FOR YOU! 218 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,104 - AND I PROMISED TO SEE HER TONIGHT. - WHAT? 219 00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,907 - IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET RID OF HER. - THE ONLY WAY? 220 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,843 DID YOU TRY A FIRE HOSE? 221 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,979 NO, BUT I DID TELL HER TO PUT HER BLOUSE BACK ON. 222 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,517 THAT WAS QUICK THINKING, RIGHT? 223 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,287 YOU KNOW, I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER 224 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,856 IF YOU'RE AS COMMITTED TO THIS RELATIONSHIP AS I AM. 225 00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,859 LOOK, TONIGHT I'M GONNA TELL HER I CAN'T SEE HER ANYMORE. 226 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,228 GOOD, 'CAUSE IT'S EITHER ME... 227 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,697 OR THE SPIDER WOMAN. 228 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,835 OH! I'M THE DEVIL'S CANDY! 229 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,042 SALLY? 230 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,180 YEAH? 231 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,415 I BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT. 232 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,451 WELL, HERE'S WHAT I'M THINKING. 233 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,755 I'M THINKING I'M A STARVING WOMAN, 234 00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,292 AND YOU'RE THE BLUE-PLATE SPECIAL AT THE BEEF 'N' GRIDDLE. 235 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,830 YOU HAD ME WORRIED. I THOUGHT WE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO SPLITS-VILLE. 236 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,600 WELL, WE MAY HAVE CROSSED SIGNALS AT THE LAST JUNCTION, 237 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,035 BUT NOW WE'RE BACK ON TRACK. 238 00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,971 ALL ABOARD. 239 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,208 WHOO, WHOO. 240 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,379 OKAY, THEY RUN DOWN THE HALLWAY-- 241 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,915 - A GOVERNMENT AGENT IS WAITING. - HE SHOOTS. 242 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,852 - HIS HITS THE AGENT-- - BUT HE'S WEARING A BULLETPROOF VEST. 243 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,854 - MULDER RUNS. - THE AGENT FOLLOWS. 244 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,256 - HE TRAPS MULDER IN THE HALLWAY. - Both: HE KILLS MULDER! 245 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,926 ( both shouting ) 246 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,394 - YOU'RE BRILLIANT. - OH, THANK YOU. AND YOU'RE A GENIUS. 247 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,397 - TRUE, BUT YOU'RE THE BEST. - BACK AT YOU. AND YOU ARE SUPER. 248 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,500 Both: WE'RE BOTH GREAT! 249 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,836 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THAT DOWN. 250 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,071 OKAY, BUDDY. 251 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,941 - WHAT'D WE SAY? - I DON'T REMEMBER. 252 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,854 ( knock at door ) 253 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,994 DR. SOLOMON, I KNEW YOU'D COME. 254 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,196 SONJA, I-I-- 255 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,932 I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. 256 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,668 ( stutters ) YOU ARE A BRILLIANT, 257 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,237 BEAUTIFUL, FASCINATING WOMAN. 258 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,907 - LET'S GO TO BED. - ALL RIGHT. 259 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:39,710 NO, NO, NO. WHAT I MEAN IS, 260 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,613 I'M SORRY IF I'VE MISLED YOU IN ANY WAY, 261 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,850 BUT MY HEART, MY MIND, AND MR. WIGGLY 262 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,918 ALL BELONG TO MARY ALBRIGHT. 263 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,757 OH, REALLY? 264 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,260 THEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, MY DARLING, 265 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,863 BUT MY WORDS WOULD BE HOLLOW 266 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,798 UNLESS SUNG. PLEASE SIT. 267 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,301 ( arpeggio ) 268 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,840 ♪ FIRST THERE WAS NEWTON ♪ 269 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,710 ♪ WHO COULD TELL HOW THINGS FELL ♪ 270 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:16,614 ♪ BUT I NEVER HAVE FALLEN THAT WAY ♪ 271 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,317 ♪ THEN THERE WAS HAWKING ♪ 272 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,954 ♪ WHO TOLD OF BLACK HOLES ♪ 273 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:27,058 ♪ BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN SUCKED IN, PER SE ♪ 274 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,528 ♪ AND NO ONE, NOT EINSTEIN ♪ 275 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:35,666 ♪ HAS MADE ME FEEL AS FINE ♪ 276 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:39,604 ♪ AS SOLOMON'S MADE ME ♪ 277 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,172 ♪ TODAY... ♪ 278 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,174 I GOTTA GO. 279 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,078 ♪ YOU'VE AWAKENED MY PASSION, DICK SOLOMON ♪ 280 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,981 - ♪ YOU'VE MADE PHYSICS A PHYSICAL THING ♪ - I DID? 281 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:54,385 ♪ OUR ELECTRONICS MAGNETIC, OUR ENERGY'S KINETIC ♪ 282 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,188 - ♪ MY HARMONIC IS OSCILLATING ♪ - OH, LORD! 283 00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:01,926 - ♪ YOU'VE AWAKENED MY PASSION, DICK SOLOMON ♪ - PLEASE STOP! 284 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,928 ♪ YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE TURN ♪ 285 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,430 ♪ ON A DIME... ♪ 286 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,365 CHIFFON. 287 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:12,403 ♪ I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRASS ♪ 288 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,841 ♪ BUT YOUR ENERGY TIMES ♪ 289 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,710 ♪ MY MASS... ♪ 290 00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,913 ( yelps ) 291 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,684 ♪ WOULD CREATE AN EXPLOSION ♪ 292 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,954 - ♪ THROUGH TIME. ♪ - LISTEN, SONJA, NO. 293 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,889 OH MY GOD, WE'RE SKIPPING! 294 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,660 OH MY GOD! 295 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,966 CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S BIGGER THAN BOTH OF US? 296 00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:45,836 WELL, THANK YOU, BUT I-I FEEL-- 297 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,472 I HAVE TO GO HOME! 298 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,320 ( inhales ) I LOVE WALKING IN THE RAIN. 299 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,322 IT'S FUN. 300 00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,725 REALLY? I FOUND IT TEDIOUS. 301 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,760 MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS WITH YOU. 302 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,497 OH, DON, THIS ISN'T WORKING. 303 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,333 YEAH, I KINDA GOT THAT VIBE. 304 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,335 I'M SORRY, DON. 305 00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,605 I'M SORRY TOO. 306 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,875 OH, LOOK. THE SUN CAME OUT. 307 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,411 YEAH, BUT NOT FOR US. 308 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,713 WELL, 309 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,782 GOOD BYE, SALLY. 310 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:35,218 IT WAS NICE... WHILE IT LASTED. 311 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,554 GOOD BYE, DON. 312 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,789 HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE, BIG GUY! 313 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,061 MAYBE I'VE, UH, BEEN A LITTLE HASTY. 314 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,564 FREEZE! 315 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,966 I MAY NOT HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE DETECTIVE YET, 316 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,769 BUT I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. 317 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,105 YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. 318 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,209 YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE UNIFORM. 319 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,211 COULD YOU BE RIGHT? 320 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,647 COULD MY ATTRACTION TO YOU BE COMPLETELY SUPERFICIAL? 321 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,815 ( gasps ) 322 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,983 ( sighs ) 323 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,453 I'M AFRAID SO. 324 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,422 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US, DON? 325 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,424 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT MEANS. 326 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,594 IT MEANS YOU NEVER SEE ME OUT OF UNIFORM AGAIN. 327 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,829 HOT DOG! 328 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,831 AND YOU KNOW, 329 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,966 I'VE GOT A HAT TOO. 330 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:27,038 WEAR IT. 331 00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,577 ( Spanish guitar playing on stereo ) 332 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,713 ( knock at door ) 333 00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,682 ( music off ) 334 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,721 - OH, IT'S YOU. - HELLO, SONJA. 335 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:50,027 I JUST SPOKE TO DICK. I BELIEVE WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 336 00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,429 I DON'T SEE YOUR BOYFRIEND 337 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,831 WANTING ME AS A PROBLEM. 338 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,301 LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS, SHALL WE? 339 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,905 - NO! - DICK, I TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR! 340 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,973 I CAN'T ALLOW WOMEN TO FIGHT OVER ME. 341 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:06,310 NOT EVEN IF THEY'RE WEARING BIKINIS IN A BIG TUB OF MUD! 342 00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,780 MMM. 343 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,216 WE'RE NOT GOING TO FIGHT. 344 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,020 LET'S JUST SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, SHALL WE? 345 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,756 DICK, ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SONJA ROMANTICALLY? 346 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,625 WELL, SHE'S VERY SMART AND VERY ATTRACTIVE-- 347 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,095 - DICK! - BUT NO, MARY, I LOVE YOU. 348 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,364 THERE YOU HAVE IT. GAME OVER. 349 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,034 THE GAME'S NOT OVER TILL I SAY IT'S OVER. 350 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,236 - IS THE GAME OVER? - NO. 351 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,973 SONJA, STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! 352 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,975 HE'LL BE MINE SOON. 353 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,244 NOT WHILE I'M STILL BREATHING. 354 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:43,914 THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM BREATHING, WON'T I? 355 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,683 LISTEN, UM-- WAIT, WAIT-- HOLD IT-- 356 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,353 - CAN'T WE PLEASE JUST BE FRIENDS? - ( both shrieking ) 357 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,957 SOMEONE USE A FIST! 358 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,896 I GIVE! I GIVE! 359 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,435 GAME OVER. LET'S GO. 360 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,437 OH! 361 00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,439 OH, MY GOD! 362 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,509 MARY... 363 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,845 I AM SO TURNED ON! 364 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,924 AH, MY LITTLE TIGRESS. 365 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,860 ONCE AGAIN I MUST TELL YOU HOW MAGNIFICENT YOU WERE. 366 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,096 I WAS PRETTY TERRIFIC, WASN'T I? 367 00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:36,300 DICK, DOES SONJA HAVE SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE? 368 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:39,035 OH, YES, A GARGOYLE DOOR-KNOCKER. 369 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:44,575 I MEAN, DO I STIMULATE YOU ENOUGH INTELLECTUALLY? 370 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,410 ( chuckling ) OH, MARY. 371 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,947 - NO. - WHAT? 372 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:53,650 NOBODY DOES. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT FROM YOU, MARY. 373 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:56,720 I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAY, WHAT YOU HAD FOR LUNCH, 374 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,323 WHY YOU GOT SO MAD AT THE DRY CLEANERS, 375 00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:03,060 YOUR CHARMINGLY MISGUIDED THEORIES ON EVOLUTION. 376 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,062 YOUR VOICE, MARY, 377 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,431 I WANT TO HEAR YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE. 378 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,700 - THANK YOU. - MARY? 379 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,702 WHAT? 380 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,871 YOU'RE HURTING MY HAND. 381 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,516 WELL, THAT'S IT-- 382 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,051 TWO AND A HALF POUNDS OF X-FILES GOLD. 383 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,220 - LET'S SEND IT OFF. - PLEASURE WORKING WITH YOU, MY MAN. 384 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,822 - EFFORTLESS. - SEAMLESS. 385 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,824 YOU KNOW, IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE IT MAKES ME PROUD 386 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,026 TO BE AN ALIEN POSING AS A HUMAN BEING WRITER. 387 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:45,336 TIMES LIKE THESE I WISH I'D NUMBERED THE PAGES.