1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:07,006
( dramatic soundtrack
playing on TV )
2
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,174
( steady beep )
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,877
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
DICK, HE TOUCHED IT!
4
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,713
( all arguing )
5
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:17,416
( blows whistle )
WHAT THE HECK IS
GOING ON HERE?
6
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,917
YOU ALMOST MADE ME
SPILL MY JOE.
7
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,952
THAT NOISE, DON--
WHAT IS IT?
8
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,056
( turns volume off )
9
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,058
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE,
10
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,427
THERE'S NO NEED
TO PANIC.
11
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:32,497
THIS HAS BEEN A TEST
OF THE EMERGENCY
BROADCAST SYSTEM.
12
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:35,134
- WHY? IS THERE
AN EMERGENCY?
- NO.
13
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,836
THIS HAS ONLY
BEEN A TEST.
14
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,205
HAD THIS BEEN
AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY,
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED
15
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,641
ON WHERE TO GO
IN YOUR AREA FOR SHELTER.
16
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,709
- SHELTER FROM WHAT?
- BOMBS.
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,812
- ( all gasping )
- TO INTERRUPT A PROGRAM
OF THIS QUALITY
18
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,882
UNDER THE GUISE
OF NATIONAL SECURITY
IS PREPOSTEROUS!
19
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,285
OOH, LOOK.
IT'S BACK ON.
20
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,757
HMM, X-FILES.
21
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,426
NEVER REALLY GOT IT.
22
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,762
I KNOW.
IT'S SO INACCURATE.
23
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,331
SAY, SALLY,
HOW'S ABOUT
TOMORROW NIGHT
24
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,467
I BUY YOU THE BIGGEST
STEAK IN TOWN?
25
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,469
HOW'S ABOUT
YOU THROW IN
A BAKED POTATO?
26
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,471
HOW'S ABOUT YOU WEAR
THAT RED DRESS?
27
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,840
- HOW'S ABOUT YOU
PICK ME UP AT 8:00?
- HOW'S ABOUT I COME EARLY?
28
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,176
HOW'S ABOUT YOU LET US
WATCH OUR SHOW?
29
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:23,148
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
I BET THEY BREAK
THE GENETIC CODE
30
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:27,052
AND REALIZE
SCULLY'S BEEN IMPLANTED
BY THE SMOKIN' GUY.
31
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:30,855
OH, LOOK AT THAT!
THE ALIEN JUST PUT A PROBE
IN THAT GUY'S EAR.
32
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,191
EVERYBODY KNOWS
YOU CAN'T GET A BRAIN SCAN
THROUGH THE EAR.
33
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,028
YOU GOT TO GO
THROUGH THE BUTT.
34
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,263
YOU KNOW, I BET
I COULD WRITE
A KILLER X-FILES.
35
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,265
( scoffs )
I COULD WRITE ONE
IN MY SLEEP.
36
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,734
- I COULD WRITE ONE
HANGING UPSIDE-DOWN.
- I COULD WRITE ONE WITH CRAYON.
37
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,036
I COULD WRITE ONE IF I LOST
BOTH MY ARMS AND HAD TO
TYPE WITH MY FEET.
38
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,239
- I COULD WRITE ONE--
- I WANT TO WATCH ONE!
39
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,508
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP
AND GO WRITE ONE?
40
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,377
FINE, THEN. WE WILL.
COME ON, HARRY.
41
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,046
- YEAH, COME ON.
- GOOD!
42
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,048
AND WHEN IT'S ON TV,
I'LL TALK ALL THROUGH
THE DAMN THING,
43
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,251
SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!
44
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:02,821
SOMEONE SHOULD
TAKE THE PROBE
OUT OF HIS BUTT.
45
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,925
( '50s rock music playing )
46
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,060
SO SAD WHEN
A COLLEAGUE LEAVES.
47
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,097
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY FEEL
AS THOUGH A PART OF YOURSELF--
48
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,809
SO, SONJA,
IT'S A SHAME
49
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,111
WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME
TO GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER BETTER.
50
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,881
UH, YES,
15 YEARS GOES BY
51
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,784
RATHER QUICKLY,
DOESN'T IT?
52
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,621
YEAH. SO, UH...
53
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,257
WHY'D YOU DECIDE
TO TAKE THAT JOB
AT COLUMBIA?
54
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,026
UM, WELL, MY MIND
WAS MADE UP
55
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,563
ONCE I FOUND OUT
THAT THEY HAD THE ONLY
UNPUBLISHED COLLECTION
56
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,565
OF THE EARLY
GEOMETRY WRITINGS
57
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,534
OF NICOLAI LOBACHEVSKY.
58
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,972
THAT WOULD BE
MY MAJOR REASON
FOR RELOCATING.
59
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,144
- CAN WE TAKE MORE THAN ONE?
- OH, TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.
60
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,713
NOBODY'S GONNA
SHOW UP TO THIS THING.
61
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,284
YOU TWO SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.
62
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,686
POOR SONJA UMDAHL
HAS WASTED YEARS
OF HER LIFE
63
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,489
IN THIS STUFFY, MILDEWED
BOOK MAUSOLEUM.
64
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,524
THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS WISH HER WELL.
65
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,361
YEAH!
SHAME ON YOU!
66
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,829
UH, GOOD-BYE,
SONJA.
67
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,233
WELL, SHE DOESN'T HAVE
MANY FRIENDS, DOES SHE?
68
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,102
NO, SHE'S JUST SHY
69
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,071
AND INTROVERTED,
70
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,106
WEIRD.
71
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,175
GO INTRODUCE YOURSELF.
72
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,177
OH, NO, MARY!
SOME OF THE STUDENTS SAID
73
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,780
THAT SHE HAS SPIDERS
IN HER HAIR!
74
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,716
GET OVER THERE!
75
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:22,127
AH! MORGAN'S PHYSICAL
BASIS OF HEREDITY.
76
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,129
IT'S A QUICK READ,
77
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,964
ALTHOUGH I DID FIND
THE FOOTNOTES INTRUSIVE.
78
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:30,568
- ME TOO.
- DICK SOLOMON,
PHYSICS DEPARTMENT.
79
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,637
SONJA UMDAHL.
80
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,739
I KNEW YOU TWO
WOULD GET ALONG!
81
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:37,576
WELL, THANKS
FOR COMING.
82
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,845
AND STAYING.
83
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,649
- SO, UH, LET'S GO.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
84
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,817
I GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S DO THIS RIGHT.
85
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,086
SONJA, WHY DON'T
YOU COME OVER TO
MY HOUSE TONIGHT,
86
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,456
SAY, UH, 7:00, AND WE'LL FIX
A GOING-AWAY DINNER FOR YOU.
87
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,725
- I'LL BRING DESSERT.
- GREAT!
88
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,461
WELL, UM--
89
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,980
HI, UH, EXCUSE ME.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY,
90
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,048
A BIG, STRAPPING GUY,
HANDSOME.
91
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,650
- HE'S A COP.
- HI.
92
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,853
- HERE I AM.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY.
93
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,492
SALLY?
IT'S ME, DON.
94
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,895
DON?
95
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,865
DID YOU SHAVE
YOUR MUSTACHE?
96
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,968
I NEVER HAD
A MUSTACHE.
97
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,371
ARE YOU WEARING
CONTACTS?
98
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,073
NO, SALLY,
I'M WEARING MY GLASSES.
99
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,344
- ARE THEY NEW?
- NOT SINCE EIGHTH GRADE.
100
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,118
- IN STRICTLY QUANTUM TERMS.
- OF COURSE.
101
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,853
AND JUST LIKE YOU
CAN HAVE QUARKS
AND ANTI-QUARKS--
102
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,888
AND NEUTRINOS
AND ANTI-NEUTRINOS.
103
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:01,692
WAIT A MINUTE.
ISN'T A NEUTRINO
A BREAKFAST BAR?
104
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,430
YOU WERE SAYING?
105
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,566
YOU CAN ACTUALLY
HAVE A PARTICLE
106
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,567
THAT DOESN'T HAVE
A COUNTERPART--
107
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,936
BUT IS AN ENERGY
ALL TO ITSELF
108
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,572
- WHICH EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY
AS ITS OWN OPPOSITE.
- RIGHT.
109
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,642
- Both: THE PHOTON!
- YES!
110
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,277
( both laughing,
chattering indistinctly )
111
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,382
OH, DR. SOLOMON!
112
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,186
- YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN
OF KNOWLEDGE.
- AND YOU...
113
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:32,123
ARE A PUDDLE
OF SMARTNESS.
114
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,659
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
PARTY'S OVER.
115
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,728
DRIVE HER HOME.
116
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,998
MARY, IT'S SO EARLY.
I WANTED TO HEAR SONJA'S
THOUGHTS ON REFRACTION.
117
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,035
WELL, I'M SURE
IT WOULDN'T BE
THAT INTERESTING.
118
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,103
OH, SONJA, I'M SURE
IT'S FASCINATING,
119
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,105
BUT I'D RATHER
GO TO BED.
120
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:51,509
SO HAVE A NICE FLIGHT,
DRIVE, LIFE,
121
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,444
WHATEVER.
122
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,748
I'M SO GLAD WE MET.
123
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,984
AND I'M SO GLAD
YOU DON'T HAVE
SPIDERS IN YOUR HAIR.
124
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,656
OKAY, HARRY,
THE FIRST SCENE
IS CRITICAL.
125
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,592
WE HAVE TO HOOK THE VIEWERS
WITH SOMETHING EXCITING.
126
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,628
HOW ABOUT A PICNIC?
127
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:14,899
- PICNICS AREN'T EXCITING.
- I'VE BEEN TO SOME
EXCITING PICNICS.
128
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,635
WE NEED SOMETHING
TO GET THE JUICES FLOWING.
129
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,637
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST
START WITH A FIGHT.
130
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,039
OOH! I BET THAT
MIGHT JUST WORK.
131
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,959
“SCULLY...
132
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,163
AND MULDER...
AT A PICNIC.”
133
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,098
( yelling )
134
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:55,139
- GOOD MORNING.
- YES, ISN'T IT?
135
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,742
THE AIR IS CRISP.
DEW IS ON--
136
00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:00,712
WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
137
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,847
I TOOK SONJA HOME,
138
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,782
AND WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN
THAT I SPENT THE NIGHT.
139
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,688
- DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER?
- NO!
140
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,391
I ONLY DO THAT
WITH YOU!
141
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:17,161
AND SOMETIMES
FARRAH FAWCETT
IN MY HEAD.
142
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,297
MARY, ALL WE WANTED
TO DO WAS TALK.
143
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:22,467
A MAN AND A WOMAN
CANNOT CONNECT INTELLECTUALLY
144
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:26,371
WITHOUT EVENTUALLY CONNECTING
WITH THEIR CONNECTORS.
145
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,807
ARE YOU SAYING THAT
JUST BECAUSE SONJA
AND I SHARE
146
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,110
THE SAME INTELLECTUAL
INTERESTS, WE'RE DESTINED
TO SHARE THE SAME BED?
147
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,679
- YES.
- BUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
148
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,049
SONJA'S FAR TOO INTELLIGENT
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.
149
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,059
- HERE YOU GO.
- THANK YOU.
150
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,229
NINA, DO YOU HAVE
MANY MEN FRIENDS?
151
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:55,300
- OH, YEAH, LOTS.
- AND THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS?
YOU DON'T... YOU KNOW.
152
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,302
( chuckles )
THEN, NO.
153
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,239
I THINK SONJA UMDAHL
LIKES DICK.
154
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,809
SO? A MAN WOULD HAVE
TO BE A LUNATIC
155
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,078
TO BE ATTRACTED
TO THAT WOMAN.
156
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,948
- UH-OH.
- OH, NO, NINA.
157
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,617
I TRUST DICK,
I REALLY DO, BUT...
158
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,520
THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT WOMAN
THAT BOTHERS ME.
159
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,391
- WANT TO KNOW WHAT I HEARD?
- WHAT?
160
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,661
SOMETIMES IF YOU PEEK
THROUGH THE LIBRARY WINDOW
161
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,663
- AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW
YOU'RE LOOKING,
- YEAH?
162
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:28,066
YOU CAN CATCH HER
WITH SNAKES MOVING
ALL OVER HER HEAD.
163
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,235
JUST MOVING
ALL OVER HER HEAD.
164
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,137
SNAKES AND MO--
OH, AND THEN
I RINSE
165
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,107
AND THEN I REPEAT
166
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,175
AND THEN I RINSE
AND THEN I'M DONE.
167
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,578
OH, HELLO, SONJA.
I THOUGHT YOU MOVED.
168
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,548
UM, SOON, SOON.
169
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:46,184
I'M JUST TYING UP
DEAD ENDS.
170
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,186
GREAT.
171
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,989
I, UH, UNDERSTAND
YOU AND DICK
172
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,691
HAD AN INTERESTING
CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT.
173
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,227
- OH, HE TOLD YOU?
- DICK TELLS ME EVERYTHING.
174
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,898
UH, WHAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW IS,
ARE YOU AFTER DICK SOLOMON,
YES OR NO?
175
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,166
OH, MY GOD!
IS THAT WHAT
YOU THINK?
176
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,169
THAT I WANT
YOUR BOYFRIEND?
177
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,838
UH, YEAH.
178
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,140
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
179
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,209
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE
KEPT TALKING,
180
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,511
BORING HIM
WITH MY THOUGHTS.
181
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,513
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
182
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,183
YOU'RE THE ONLY
FRIEND I HAVE.
183
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,086
I'M SORRY.
184
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,389
IT'S OKAY.
I'M STILL YOUR FRIEND.
185
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,792
- SO'S DICK.
- 'KAY.
186
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,729
DO YOU WANT TO GO GET
A CUP OF COFFEE?
187
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:34,265
NO, I'LL JUST
STAY HERE FOR A MOMENT.
188
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,968
( shuddering sobs )
I HAVE TO GET
MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER.
189
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,006
OH, OH, OKAY, HONEY.
190
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,642
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!
YOU MADE HER CRY!
191
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,117
( deep calm voice )
HELLO, PROFESSOR.
192
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,352
SONJA,
I THOUGHT YOU LEFT.
193
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,255
I COULDN'T LEAVE,
DR. SOLOMON.
194
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,257
I COULDN'T LEAVE YOU.
195
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,793
OH, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
196
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,430
YOU CAN PRETEND
ALL YOU WANT, PROFESSOR,
197
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,699
BUT SONJA SEES THROUGH
YOUR LITTLE CHAR-R-ADE.
198
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:12,470
- TAKE ME!
- SONJA, I CAN'T
DO THIS WITH YOU!
199
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,573
THIS IS WHAT MARY
IS FOR.
200
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,942
AH, COME ON!
201
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,444
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU ALWAYS TALK CALCULUS
202
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,513
WITH WOMEN YOU'RE NOT
ATTRACTED TO?
203
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,984
NOW, SONJA IS ITCHY!
SCRATCH HER!
204
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,565
DICK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
I SPOKE WITH SONJA TODAY.
205
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,367
- YOU DID? I DIDN'T.
- SHE CONSIDERS US
206
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,237
TO BE JUST GOOD FRIENDS--
THAT'S ALL SHE WANTS.
207
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,173
THEN WHY DID SHE TRY TO DO
UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO ME?
208
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:51,175
- WHAT?
- RIGHT HERE ON THIS DESK!
209
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,646
THINGS THAT ONLY YOU DO!
NOT NEARLY OFTEN ENOUGH.
210
00:11:56,750 --> 00:12:00,184
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
- BELIEVE IT, MARY.
SHE WANTS ME!
211
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,954
AND NOT JUST MY MIND.
SHE WANTS MY BODY,
212
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,389
MY BEAUTIFUL BODY!
213
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,459
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WOMAN
STOOD IN MY OFFICE
AND LIED TO ME!
214
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,961
BUT I RESISTED HER, MARY.
215
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,029
I TOLD HER I WASN'T
INTERESTED IN HER THAT WAY.
216
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:15,265
- I SHOULD HOPE SO!
- I TOLD HER TO GET
RIGHT OUT OF OUR OFFICE.
217
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,301
GOOD FOR YOU!
218
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,104
- AND I PROMISED
TO SEE HER TONIGHT.
- WHAT?
219
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,907
- IT WAS THE ONLY WAY
I COULD GET RID OF HER.
- THE ONLY WAY?
220
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,843
DID YOU TRY A FIRE HOSE?
221
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,979
NO, BUT I DID TELL HER
TO PUT HER BLOUSE BACK ON.
222
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,517
THAT WAS QUICK
THINKING, RIGHT?
223
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,287
YOU KNOW,
I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER
224
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,856
IF YOU'RE AS COMMITTED
TO THIS RELATIONSHIP AS I AM.
225
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,859
LOOK, TONIGHT I'M GONNA
TELL HER I CAN'T
SEE HER ANYMORE.
226
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,228
GOOD,
'CAUSE IT'S EITHER ME...
227
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,697
OR THE SPIDER WOMAN.
228
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,835
OH!
I'M THE DEVIL'S CANDY!
229
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,042
SALLY?
230
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,180
YEAH?
231
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,415
I BEEN THINKING
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
LAST NIGHT.
232
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,451
WELL, HERE'S WHAT
I'M THINKING.
233
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,755
I'M THINKING
I'M A STARVING WOMAN,
234
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,292
AND YOU'RE
THE BLUE-PLATE SPECIAL
AT THE BEEF 'N' GRIDDLE.
235
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,830
YOU HAD ME WORRIED.
I THOUGHT WE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT
TRAIN TO SPLITS-VILLE.
236
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,600
WELL, WE MAY HAVE
CROSSED SIGNALS
AT THE LAST JUNCTION,
237
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,035
BUT NOW WE'RE
BACK ON TRACK.
238
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,971
ALL ABOARD.
239
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,208
WHOO, WHOO.
240
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,379
OKAY, THEY RUN
DOWN THE HALLWAY--
241
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,915
- A GOVERNMENT AGENT IS WAITING.
- HE SHOOTS.
242
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,852
- HIS HITS THE AGENT--
- BUT HE'S WEARING
A BULLETPROOF VEST.
243
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,854
- MULDER RUNS.
- THE AGENT FOLLOWS.
244
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,256
- HE TRAPS MULDER
IN THE HALLWAY.
- Both: HE KILLS MULDER!
245
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,926
( both shouting )
246
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,394
- YOU'RE BRILLIANT.
- OH, THANK YOU.
AND YOU'RE A GENIUS.
247
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,397
- TRUE, BUT YOU'RE THE BEST.
- BACK AT YOU.
AND YOU ARE SUPER.
248
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,500
Both:
WE'RE BOTH GREAT!
249
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,836
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET THAT DOWN.
250
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,071
OKAY, BUDDY.
251
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,941
- WHAT'D WE SAY?
- I DON'T REMEMBER.
252
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,854
( knock at door )
253
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,994
DR. SOLOMON,
I KNEW YOU'D COME.
254
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,196
SONJA, I-I--
255
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,932
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU.
256
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,668
( stutters )
YOU ARE A BRILLIANT,
257
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,237
BEAUTIFUL,
FASCINATING WOMAN.
258
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,907
- LET'S GO TO BED.
- ALL RIGHT.
259
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:39,710
NO, NO, NO.
WHAT I MEAN IS,
260
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,613
I'M SORRY IF I'VE
MISLED YOU IN ANY WAY,
261
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,850
BUT MY HEART, MY MIND,
AND MR. WIGGLY
262
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,918
ALL BELONG
TO MARY ALBRIGHT.
263
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,757
OH, REALLY?
264
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,260
THEN I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU, MY DARLING,
265
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,863
BUT MY WORDS
WOULD BE HOLLOW
266
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,798
UNLESS SUNG.
PLEASE SIT.
267
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,301
( arpeggio )
268
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,840
♪ FIRST THERE WAS NEWTON ♪
269
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,710
♪ WHO COULD TELL
HOW THINGS FELL ♪
270
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:16,614
♪ BUT I NEVER HAVE
FALLEN THAT WAY ♪
271
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,317
♪ THEN THERE WAS HAWKING ♪
272
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,954
♪ WHO TOLD OF BLACK HOLES ♪
273
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:27,058
♪ BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN
SUCKED IN, PER SE ♪
274
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,528
♪ AND NO ONE, NOT EINSTEIN ♪
275
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:35,666
♪ HAS MADE ME FEEL AS FINE ♪
276
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:39,604
♪ AS SOLOMON'S MADE ME ♪
277
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,172
♪ TODAY... ♪
278
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,174
I GOTTA GO.
279
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,078
♪ YOU'VE AWAKENED
MY PASSION,
DICK SOLOMON ♪
280
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,981
- ♪ YOU'VE MADE PHYSICS
A PHYSICAL THING ♪
- I DID?
281
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:54,385
♪ OUR ELECTRONICS MAGNETIC,
OUR ENERGY'S KINETIC ♪
282
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,188
- ♪ MY HARMONIC IS
OSCILLATING ♪
- OH, LORD!
283
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:01,926
- ♪ YOU'VE AWAKENED MY PASSION,
DICK SOLOMON ♪
- PLEASE STOP!
284
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,928
♪ YOU'VE MADE
MY LIFE TURN ♪
285
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,430
♪ ON A DIME... ♪
286
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,365
CHIFFON.
287
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:12,403
♪ I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRASS ♪
288
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,841
♪ BUT YOUR ENERGY
TIMES ♪
289
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,710
♪ MY MASS... ♪
290
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,913
( yelps )
291
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,684
♪ WOULD CREATE
AN EXPLOSION ♪
292
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,954
- ♪ THROUGH TIME. ♪
- LISTEN, SONJA, NO.
293
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,889
OH MY GOD, WE'RE SKIPPING!
294
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,660
OH MY GOD!
295
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,966
CAN'T YOU SEE
IT'S BIGGER THAN BOTH OF US?
296
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:45,836
WELL, THANK YOU,
BUT I-I FEEL--
297
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,472
I HAVE TO GO HOME!
298
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,320
( inhales )
I LOVE WALKING
IN THE RAIN.
299
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,322
IT'S FUN.
300
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,725
REALLY?
I FOUND IT TEDIOUS.
301
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,760
MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE
I WAS WITH YOU.
302
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,497
OH, DON,
THIS ISN'T WORKING.
303
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,333
YEAH, I KINDA
GOT THAT VIBE.
304
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,335
I'M SORRY, DON.
305
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,605
I'M SORRY TOO.
306
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,875
OH, LOOK.
THE SUN CAME OUT.
307
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,411
YEAH, BUT NOT
FOR US.
308
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,713
WELL,
309
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,782
GOOD BYE, SALLY.
310
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:35,218
IT WAS NICE...
WHILE IT LASTED.
311
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,554
GOOD BYE, DON.
312
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,789
HOLD ON A MINUTE
THERE, BIG GUY!
313
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,061
MAYBE I'VE, UH,
BEEN A LITTLE HASTY.
314
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,564
FREEZE!
315
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,966
I MAY NOT HAVE
OFFICIALLY MADE
DETECTIVE YET,
316
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,769
BUT I THINK
I'VE FIGURED OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
317
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,105
YOU'RE NOT
IN LOVE WITH ME.
318
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,209
YOU'RE IN LOVE
WITH THE UNIFORM.
319
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,211
COULD YOU BE RIGHT?
320
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,647
COULD MY ATTRACTION TO YOU
BE COMPLETELY SUPERFICIAL?
321
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,815
( gasps )
322
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:05,983
( sighs )
323
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,453
I'M AFRAID SO.
324
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,422
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
FOR US, DON?
325
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,424
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT IT MEANS.
326
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,594
IT MEANS YOU NEVER SEE ME
OUT OF UNIFORM AGAIN.
327
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,829
HOT DOG!
328
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,831
AND YOU KNOW,
329
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,966
I'VE GOT A HAT TOO.
330
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:27,038
WEAR IT.
331
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,577
( Spanish guitar
playing on stereo )
332
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,713
( knock at door )
333
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,682
( music off )
334
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,721
- OH, IT'S YOU.
- HELLO, SONJA.
335
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:50,027
I JUST SPOKE TO DICK.
I BELIEVE WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
336
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,429
I DON'T SEE
YOUR BOYFRIEND
337
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,831
WANTING ME
AS A PROBLEM.
338
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,301
LET'S GET DOWN
TO BUSINESS, SHALL WE?
339
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,905
- NO!
- DICK, I TOLD YOU
TO WAIT IN THE CAR!
340
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,973
I CAN'T ALLOW WOMEN
TO FIGHT OVER ME.
341
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:06,310
NOT EVEN IF THEY'RE WEARING
BIKINIS IN A BIG TUB OF MUD!
342
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,780
MMM.
343
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,216
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO FIGHT.
344
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,020
LET'S JUST SETTLE THIS
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
SHALL WE?
345
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,756
DICK, ARE YOU INTERESTED
IN SONJA ROMANTICALLY?
346
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,625
WELL, SHE'S VERY SMART
AND VERY ATTRACTIVE--
347
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,095
- DICK!
- BUT NO, MARY,
I LOVE YOU.
348
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,364
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
GAME OVER.
349
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,034
THE GAME'S NOT OVER
TILL I SAY IT'S OVER.
350
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,236
- IS THE GAME OVER?
- NO.
351
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,973
SONJA, STAY AWAY
FROM MY MAN!
352
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,975
HE'LL BE MINE SOON.
353
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,244
NOT WHILE I'M
STILL BREATHING.
354
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:43,914
THEN I'LL JUST
HAVE TO STOP YOU
FROM BREATHING, WON'T I?
355
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,683
LISTEN, UM--
WAIT, WAIT--
HOLD IT--
356
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,353
- CAN'T WE PLEASE
JUST BE FRIENDS?
- ( both shrieking )
357
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,957
SOMEONE USE A FIST!
358
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,896
I GIVE!
I GIVE!
359
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,435
GAME OVER.
LET'S GO.
360
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,437
OH!
361
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,439
OH, MY GOD!
362
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,509
MARY...
363
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,845
I AM SO TURNED ON!
364
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,924
AH, MY LITTLE TIGRESS.
365
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,860
ONCE AGAIN I MUST TELL YOU
HOW MAGNIFICENT YOU WERE.
366
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,096
I WAS PRETTY
TERRIFIC, WASN'T I?
367
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:36,300
DICK, DOES SONJA HAVE
SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE?
368
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:39,035
OH, YES, A GARGOYLE
DOOR-KNOCKER.
369
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:44,575
I MEAN,
DO I STIMULATE YOU
ENOUGH INTELLECTUALLY?
370
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,410
( chuckling )
OH, MARY.
371
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,947
- NO.
- WHAT?
372
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:53,650
NOBODY DOES.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT
I WANT FROM YOU, MARY.
373
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:56,720
I WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR DAY,
WHAT YOU HAD FOR LUNCH,
374
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,323
WHY YOU GOT SO MAD
AT THE DRY CLEANERS,
375
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:03,060
YOUR CHARMINGLY
MISGUIDED THEORIES
ON EVOLUTION.
376
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,062
YOUR VOICE, MARY,
377
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,431
I WANT TO HEAR
YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE.
378
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,700
- THANK YOU.
- MARY?
379
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,702
WHAT?
380
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,871
YOU'RE HURTING MY HAND.
381
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,516
WELL, THAT'S IT--
382
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,051
TWO AND A HALF POUNDS
OF X-FILES GOLD.
383
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,220
- LET'S SEND IT OFF.
- PLEASURE WORKING
WITH YOU, MY MAN.
384
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,822
- EFFORTLESS.
- SEAMLESS.
385
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,824
YOU KNOW,
IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE
IT MAKES ME PROUD
386
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,026
TO BE AN ALIEN POSING
AS A HUMAN BEING WRITER.
387
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:45,336
TIMES LIKE THESE I WISH
I'D NUMBERED THE PAGES.