1
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:06,237
GOOD MORNING, HARRY.
2
00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:07,305
WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
3
00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:09,307
NEW CEREAL.
4
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,976
"MONOPOLY"?
5
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:15,213
FINALLY... A CEREAL
ABOUT REAL ESTATE.
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,717
UH, HARRY, THAT'S
A GAME, LIKE "LIFE."
7
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,985
LIFE'S A CEREAL TOO.
8
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:23,288
- AND A MAGAZINE.
- YEAH, AND A BOWL
OF CHERRIES,
9
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:26,391
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE
THE FACT THAT YOU'RE EATING
LITTLE PLASTIC HOUSES.
10
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,895
PLASTIC, NO.
THESE HOUSES ARE JUST STALE.
11
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,130
( plastic cracks )
12
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,401
STALE PLASTIC!
13
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:39,170
SALLY, DID YOU TAKE MY BLUE
SUIT TO THE DRY-CLEANERS?
14
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:41,807
OH, NO, IT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE,
SO I DRY-CLEANED IT MYSELF.
15
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,375
HERE.
16
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,779
I THINK I MAY HAVE
SANDED OFF A BUTTON,
BUT--
17
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,682
- YOU RUINED THIS SUIT!
- I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA
SAY THAT.
18
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,085
MARY WANTS ME TO WEAR THIS
TO OUR PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT.
19
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,019
UH, WAIT,
DON'T YOU MEAN HER PARTY?
20
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,822
NO, OURS, IT'S
THE FIRST PARTY
WE'RE HOSTING TOGETHER.
21
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,858
SO EXACTLY WHICH PART
OF THE PARTY IS YOURS?
22
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,627
OH, I'M IN CHARGE
OF THE HORS D'OEUVRES.
23
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,763
I'VE CHOSEN
MINIATURE EGG ROLLS.
24
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,132
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW,
BROWN GOES WITH EGG ROLLS.
25
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:08,800
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
YOUR BROWN SUIT?
26
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,302
NO, MARY WANTS THE BLUE.
27
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,204
AND IF MARY WANTS THE BLUE,
MARY GETS THE BLUE.
28
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,840
UH, PERMISSION TO STATE
THE OBVIOUS, HIGH COMMANDER?
29
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:18,243
- PERMISSION GRANTED.
- YOU ARE SO WHIPPED.
30
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,717
- EXCUSE ME?
- YEAH, DICK,
WHIPPED LIKE PUDDING.
31
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,555
PUDDING-WHIPPED?
I'M NOT PUDDING-WHIPPED.
32
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,490
THE WOMAN TELLS YOU
HOW TO ACT.
33
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,625
- AND WHAT TO SAY.
- AND WHAT TO THINK.
34
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,094
- AND HOW TO ACT.
- I SAID THAT.
35
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,362
I KNOW, I JUST WANTED IN.
36
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,264
LOOK, I WILL SAY THIS
ONCE AND ONCE ONLY.
37
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,733
I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER
AND NOBODY HAS CONTROL
OF MY LIFE,
38
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,401
ESPECIALLY MARY,
IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?
39
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,070
- All: YES, SIR.
- GOOD.
40
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,239
SALLY, POUR ME A CUP
OF COFFEE AND A BOWL
OF MONOPOLY.
41
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,706
BUT, SIR--
42
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:53,111
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH.
THE HIGH COMMANDER
HAS SPOKEN.
43
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,283
( plastic rattling )
44
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,560
( '50s rock music playing )
45
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,995
NINA, DO YOU THINK
I'M WHIPPED?
46
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,866
- "WHIPPED"?
- ( chuckles )
47
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:51,770
- I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY.
- ( laughs ) BY DR. ALBRIGHT?
48
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:55,707
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
49
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,476
- DR. SOLOMON...
- YES, NINA.
50
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:02,247
YOU ARE WRAPPED AROUND
THAT WOMAN'S FINGER
LIKE A YO-YO.
51
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,751
AND SHE IS ALWAYS
WALKING THE DOG.
52
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:13,525
- MARY, WE NEED TO TALK.
- OH, DICK CAN IT WAIT?
I'M LATE FOR CLASS.
53
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,728
MARY, I WILL NOT BE WEARING
MY BLUE SUIT TO OUR PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
54
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,097
THAT'S OKAY.
55
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,932
YOU'RE POSITIVE,
IT'S ALL RIGHT?
56
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,268
- SURE.
- OH, GREAT.
57
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,037
( sighs ) THAT'S GREAT.
I'LL WEAR MY BROWN SUIT.
58
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,239
UH, NO, NO, NO.
59
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:32,077
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR \
YOUR BLUE BLAZER AND KHAKIS?
60
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,746
OKAY.
61
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:38,016
AND YOU REALLY
SHOULD GET A HAIRCUT
BEFORE TOMORROW NIGHT.
62
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:41,052
- YOU CAN GO AT LUNCH.
- NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT!
63
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,354
I'LL GO AT 2:00.
64
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,294
DAMN!
65
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,263
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR--
66
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,900
EH, EH, YOU'RE NOT
THE TOP HAT, I'M THE TOP
HAT. YOU'RE THE BOOT.
67
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,701
- I'M NOT THE BOOT.
- HARRY, WHO'S THE BOOT?
68
00:03:56,703 --> 00:04:01,005
SALLY SAID SHE WANTED
TO BE THE BOOT, BECAUSE
IT REMINDED HER OF A BOOT.
69
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,243
FINE, I'M THE BOOT.
70
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:07,178
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.
COMMUNITY CHEST.
71
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:11,717
"YOU HAVE WON SECOND PRIZE
IN A BEAUTY CONTEST.
COLLECT $10."
72
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:15,286
OOH, $10, YOU MUST BE
REAL PRETTY.
73
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:18,556
YEAH, PRETTY CLOSE
TO OWNING YOUR KNOBBY BUTT.
74
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:22,260
NOW ROLL THE DICE,
YOU LONG-HAIRED ALIEN FREAK.
75
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,563
NOW, ONE, TWO, THREE,
76
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,131
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,
EIGHT, NINE.
77
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,733
OH.
( sighs )
78
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:33,037
"GO TO JAIL."
GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.
79
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:36,508
DO NOT PASS "GO,"
DO NOT COLLECT $200,
80
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:40,945
AND DO NOT, I REPEAT,
DO NOT DROP THE SOAP.
81
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,853
AND SO YOU WILL SEE
THAT A EQUALS DV
82
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:52,090
- OVER DT WHICH EQUALS D
OVER DT, ENCLOSED--
- ( students laugh )
83
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:56,327
OH, GOOD, I'M GLAD
YOU FIND NEWTON'S LAWS
IN VECTOR NOTATION
84
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,896
AS HILARIOUSLY
MISCONCEIVED AS I DO.
85
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,365
IT'S NOT WHY THEY'RE
LAUGHING, DR. SOLOMON.
86
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,602
THEY'RE LAUGHING
BECAUSE OF THIS.
87
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,570
A WOMAN IN A COCKTAIL DRESS?
88
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,238
TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN.
89
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:14,412
OH, MY...
90
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:19,117
I'M SORRY, I'LL HAVE
TO CONFISCATE THIS
UNTIL I'M THROUGH.
91
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:22,721
DR. SOLOMON, CAN I GET THAT
BACK? IT'S FOR MY BROTHER'S
BACHELOR PARTY.
92
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,723
- BACHELOR PARTY?
- HE'S GETTING MARRIED,
93
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,025
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE
TAKING HIM TO A STRIP CLUB.
94
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,860
STRIP CLUB?
95
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,396
"ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS."
96
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:33,098
WHY WASN'T I INVITED?
97
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,301
BUT DR. SOLOMON, IT'S
JUST A PATHETIC EXCUSE
98
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,369
FOR GUYS TO GET TOGETHER
AND BEHAVE LIKE PIGS.
99
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,238
SO WHY WASN'T I INVITED?
100
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,407
WELL, DR. SOLOMON,
WE JUST DIDN'T THINK
THAT MAYBE YOU...
101
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:47,612
NO, YOU THINK THAT I'M
TOO WHIPPED TO GO TO YOUR
TWISTED LITTLE SOIRÉE?
102
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,781
- SORRY, DR. SOLOMON.
- APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
103
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,415
JUST TELL ME WHERE IT IS
AND I'LL BE THERE.
104
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:55,787
WELL, UH...
WE DON'T EXACTLY HAVE
A TIME SET YET--
105
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,590
YEAH, WE'RE NOT REALLY EVEN
SURE WITH THE WIND AND...
106
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,161
8:00 TOMORROW NIGHT.
107
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,863
HE WAS STARING RIGHT AT ME.
108
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,333
FRIDAY NIGHT, 8:00,
109
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:13,071
"ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS."
110
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:22,179
OW, OW, OW, OWW!
111
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,720
NEXT TIME,
MY ANSWER IS PAPER.
112
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,390
OH, DICK, WOULD YOU
DO ME A FAVOR FOR
TOMORROW NIGHT?
113
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,559
WOULD YOU KEEP AN EYE
ON SAL TALBERT?
114
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,228
LAST PARTY,
I THINK HE TRIED ON
SOME OF MY TEDDIES,
115
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,363
THEY WERE STRETCHED OUT
IN THE STRANGEST PLACES.
116
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,735
OH, DON'T OPEN THOSE,
I WANT THAT FRESH
FOR THE TAPENADE.
117
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:49,274
IF I HAD SOMETHING
I HAD TO DO TOMORROW
NIGHT-- SOMETHING ELSE--
118
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,042
YOU'D UNDERSTAND,
WOULDN'T YOU?
119
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,578
DICK, WE'VE BEEN PLANNING
THIS PARTY FOR WEEKS.
120
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,480
ALL YOUR BORING
PHYSICS FRIENDS
ARE COMING.
121
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,516
WELL, I-- I KNOW,
122
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:01,353
BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY--
AN EMERGENCY BACHELOR PARTY
AT ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS.
123
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:08,360
- WHO'S GETTING MARRIED?
- BUG'S BROTHER, FRED--
OR FRANK, OR SOMETHING.
124
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:12,430
YOU'RE GOING TO ABANDON ME
TO GO TO A PARTY FOR SOMEONE
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW?
125
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,932
PITMAN'S GOING.
126
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,901
- THIS WHOLE PARTY
WAS YOUR IDEA.
- NO, IT WASN'T.
127
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,970
- YES, IT WAS! YES, IT WAS!
- NO, IT WASN'T! NO, IT WASN'T!
128
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,405
YES, IT WAS-- WE WERE
AT "THE SEA SHANTY"
WITH THE SULLIVANS.
129
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,274
YOU WERE HAVING CRAB CAKES,
WHICH YOU HATED.
130
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,543
THEY SANG "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
TO THE KID AT THE NEXT TABLE.
131
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,746
YOU JUMPED UP AND SAID
"I WANNA HAVE A PARTY TOO!"
132
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,781
OH, THAT IS
ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!
133
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,117
DICK, THIS IS YOUR PARTY.
134
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,385
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE
WITH THOSE PHYSICS GUYS.
135
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:38,590
- I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO THEM!
- FINE, I'LL BE HERE.
136
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,025
WHO NEEDS FUN ANYWAY?
137
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,266
I WANT TENNESSEE.
138
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,202
YOU ALREADY OWN THE RAILROADS
AND ALL THE UTILITIES.
139
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:55,473
I NEED TENNESSEE.
I NEED IT BAD.
140
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,343
YOU JUST NEED TO BE
THE BIG MAN, DON'T YOU?
141
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,946
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, TOMMY?
IT'S THE LITTLE ONES.
142
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:06,017
THE ONES WHO LABOR TO BUILD
HOUSES ON THE BALTICS
AND THE MEDITERRANEAN,
143
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,720
THE ONES WHO PAY SCHOOL
TAXES AND PROPERTY TAXES.
144
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,256
THE ONES WHO ARE HAPPY
JUST TO GET A BANK ERROR
IN THEIR FAVOR.
145
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,458
FOR THEY'RE THE ONES, TOMMY!
146
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,027
THE ONES WHO OWN
THIS COUNTRY.
147
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,563
I'LL GIVE YOU $400 AND
MY "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD.
148
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:21,098
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
149
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:26,671
I HAVE MADE
A COMMAND DECISION.
I AM NO LONGER WHIPPED.
150
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,972
GOOD FOR YOU.
151
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,274
I'M TIRED OF FEELING
LIKE A CATHOLIC SCHOOLBOY
152
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:33,645
ALWAYS GETTING HIS KNUCKLES
WRAPPED BY THE NUN
HE'S DATING.
153
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,948
SO, WHAT'S SISTER MARY ALBRIGHT
GONNA SAY ABOUT THIS?
154
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,585
SHE'LL JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT,
BECAUSE I'M THE MAN!
155
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,821
I'M STRONGER THAN SHE IS,
I HAVE A LARGER CRANIUM.
156
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:47,958
I'M FAR MORE LIKELY
TO GO TO PRISON.
I'M THE MAN!
157
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,463
NOW, IF I COULD JUST FIND
SOMEONE WHO COULD TEACH ME
HOW TO ACT LIKE ONE.
158
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:54,199
- TOMMY.
- ( laughs mockingly )
159
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,069
I'M SORRY,
160
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,970
BUT BEFORE YOU TEACH HIM
HOW TO BE A MAN,
161
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,474
SHOULDN'T YOU GET
AUGUST'S PERMISSION FIRST?
162
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:05,577
SHE-- SHE TOLD ME
NOT TO CALL HER UNTIL
AFTER DINNER.
163
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,947
PROBLEM IS THAT YOU BOTH
HAD YOUR MASCULINE ENERGY
164
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:13,150
ZAPPED BY BLOND
CHICK GODDESSES.
165
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:17,088
GUESS THAT MAKES ME
THE ONLY REAL MAN
IN THE ROOM.
166
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,859
NOT EVEN SALLY
CAN MAKE THAT CLAIM.
167
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,129
THAT'S TRUE.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
168
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,766
WHO, ME?
( belches )
169
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,336
BY KEEPING IT REAL, DICK.
170
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,872
KEEPING IT REAL.
171
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,008
YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME?
172
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,244
FOLLOW ME.
173
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,817
SO, UH...
174
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:49,487
YOU WANNA WATCH
THE PENCIL-NECK
LEADING THE HEN-PECKED?
175
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,990
OH, SO I TAKE IT
YOU'RE FORFEITING,
176
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:55,593
'CAUSE EITHER YOU'RE
ROLLING THESE DICE
OR YOU'RE FORFEITING.
177
00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:01,032
HA! "FREE PARKING,"
LOSER!
178
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,369
FIRST OF ALL,
YOU NEED A MANLY NAME.
179
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,839
"DICK" IS SO... GIRLY.
180
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,512
YOU NEED SOMETHING HIP,
SOMETHING SEXY,
181
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,347
SOMETHING THAT SAYS,
"I'M A REAL MAN,"
182
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,550
SOMETHING LIKE...
"MANNY."
183
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,522
HARLEY.
184
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,658
TUBBY.
185
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,394
BATMAN.
186
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,966
- HOW 'BOUT "SOLOM-OH-N"?
- OOH-OH!
187
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:38,769
OH, I LIKE THAT.
"DICK SOLOMON..."
188
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,772
HI, I'M DICK SOLOMON.
189
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,775
HOW MUCH ARE THOSE PLIERS?
190
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,778
( squirms )
NO, NO...
191
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:52,283
NO, DON'T LOOK AT YOUR
FINGERNAILS LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT MANLY.
192
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,585
THIS WAY.
193
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,888
MANLY.
194
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,491
NOT MANLY.
VERY MANLY.
195
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,861
MANLY NO, MANLY YES.
196
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:06,898
HOW 'BOUT SCRATCHING?
197
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,600
OUTSIDE THE PANTS, MANLY.
198
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,708
- INSIDE THE PANTS?
- ( scoffs ) TOO MANLY.
199
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,545
THIS IS SO HARD, HARRY.
200
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,980
HOW DOES A REAL MAN
KNOW WHAT TO DO?
201
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,116
( grunts )
LOOK DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF.
202
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,952
FIND YOUR PRIMAL INSTINCTS.
( primate yelps )
203
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:31,155
( imitates gorilla growling )
204
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,124
HEY.
205
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:37,294
( growling continues )
206
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,097
NOW LET IT COME OUT,
SLOWLY.
207
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:43,567
- ( growling intensifies )
- ( yelping continues )
208
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:47,305
OKAY, NOW LET IT GO,
LET IT GO.
209
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:52,310
- HEY, BABY,
WHAT'S SHAKING?
- Harry: OOH!
210
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,149
THERE YOU GO.
211
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:01,352
NOW... WALK THE WALK.
212
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,792
NOW TALK THE TALK.
213
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,827
HEY, MAMA,
214
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:13,698
I GOT ANTS IN MY PANTS
AND THEY MAKE ME DO
THE HULA DANCE.
215
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,001
- YOU THE MAN.
- NO, YOU THE MAN.
216
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,902
- NO, YOU THE MAN.
- NO, YOU THE MAN.
217
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,105
- NO, YOU--
- DAMN IT, HARRY,
I'M THE HIGH COMMANDER!
218
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,407
IF I SAY "YOU THE MAN,"
YOU THE MAN.
219
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,977
OKAY, OKAY.
220
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,079
I'M THE MAN.
221
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,653
( women whispering )
222
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,860
GOOD MORNING, LADIES.
223
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,061
HEY, JUDITH,
224
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,831
DID THOSE FRIES
COME WITH SOUP?
225
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:53,137
I'D SUE HIM IF I KNEW
WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.
226
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,207
OOW!
227
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,777
- HEY, DID IT HURT?
- WHAT?
228
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,147
- WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN?
- OH!
229
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,783
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
230
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,352
THAT'S THE SCENT
OF A MAN...
231
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,023
AND BRUT.
232
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,633
GO HOME AND TAKE A SHOWER.
233
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,470
YOU STEEL WOOL.
THE PARTY'S TONIGHT.
234
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,772
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I'M COMING TO OUR
LITTLE PARTY?
235
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:31,942
THIS ELDORADO IS LEAVING
FOR "ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS."
236
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,548
IS THIS A TEST
TO SEE HOW PISSED I CAN GET?
237
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,218
OH, COME ON, MARY,
YOU CAN'T RUN MY LIFE.
238
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,921
- YOUR WHAT?
- I HAVE TO BE MY OWN MAN.
239
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,657
FINE.
GO AHEAD.
240
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,359
GO TO "THE HOUSE OF CLASS."
241
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,896
LEAVE ME ALONE TO ENTERTAIN
YOUR FRIENDS.
242
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,334
THAT WAS EASIER
THAN I THOUGHT.
243
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,270
OH!
244
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,408
- I TELL YOU
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.
- WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
245
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,911
YOU'RE GIVING ME MARVIN GARDENS.
I'M GIVING YOU WATERWORKS
AND ST. CHARLES.
246
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,947
- I DON'T WANT WATERWORKS.
- I'M GIVING YOU WATERWORKS,
ST. CHARLES AND $200.
247
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:11,582
- YOU'RE TAKING THE DEAL.
- I'M NOT TAKING THE DEAL.
248
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,618
- $400, TAKE A DEAL!
- $500!
249
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,620
( laughs )
DEAL! YOU'RE GONNA
LIKE THIS DEAL.
250
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,397
TOMMY, DICK AND I ARE GOING
TO THE BACHELOR PARTY,
WANNA COME?
251
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,266
DOES IT LOOK LIKE
I HAVE TIME FOR STRIPPERS?
252
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,101
I'M PLAYING
FREAKING MONOPOLY HERE.
253
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:35,239
COME ON, HARRY, LET'S MAKE
LIKE A BANANA SPLIT
AND LEAVE.
254
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,276
BOY, DON'T YOU LOOK STUPID.
255
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,914
YOU'RE JUST UPSET
'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE
PRETENDING TO BE MY SISTER
256
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,750
AND CAN'T GET ANY PLAY.
257
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,652
YEAH, RIGHT.
258
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:50,054
HEY, DICK,
259
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,823
WHY DON'T YOU
SLIP ONE OF THESE
IN YOUR WALLET?
260
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,825
MIGHT COME IN HANDY.
261
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,062
A MOIST TOWELETTE?
262
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,432
IN CASE THEY SERVE RIBS.
263
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,971
( all cheering )
264
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,507
OW, MY GOD,
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU!
265
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:13,344
I'M AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH.
266
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,081
OKAY, DICK...
267
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,916
THE THING ABOUT
THESE WOMEN IS
268
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,584
YOU'VE GOT
TO PLAY IT COOL.
269
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,688
JUST IGNORE 'EM,
PRETEND THEY'RE
NOT EVEN HERE.
270
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,690
CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
271
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,892
( yelps, thumps )
272
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,829
OH, MAN, SOLOMON'S HERE.
273
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:35,633
- HI THERE.
- WELL, HELLO.
274
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,935
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BUY
A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE?
275
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,438
- HOW MUCH?
- $75.
276
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,473
WHAT, FOR A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
277
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,209
HOW 'BOUT IF I SIT DOWN
AND DRINK IT WITH YOU?
278
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,879
WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD
BUY IT YOURSELF.
279
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:50,214
I MEAN, AT LEAST
PAY FOR HALF.
280
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:56,420
ROLL THE DICE.
281
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:59,323
I'M DOWN TO NOTHING,
TOMMY, I'VE GOT
TO PASS "GO."
282
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:03,060
SALLY, THE DICE ARE
GONNA DO WHAT THEY'RE
GONNA DO, LET 'EM FLY.
283
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,097
( kisses dice )
284
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:10,435
( gasps )
BOARDWALK. NO!
285
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,805
WITH A HOTEL, THAT $2,000!
286
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,875
( sobbing )
I ONLY GOT $600,
TOMMY, $600!
287
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,744
- MORTGAGE ANOTHER PROPERTY.
- I MORTGAGED THEM ALL.
288
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,546
REALLY?
289
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,415
WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
290
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,150
IT MEANS I LOST?
291
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,217
- NO.
- NO?
292
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,487
IT MEANS I WON.
293
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,856
I WON!
294
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:35,293
OH, YOU'RE THE WARRIOR,
YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN
WIN ANYTHING.
295
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:39,830
- BUT NOT THIS TIME, PALLY.
THIS TIME YOU'RE THE LOSER!
- ( grunts )
296
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,366
OH, SALLY, SALLY...
297
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:43,768
AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THE BEST PART IS?
298
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:47,337
- NO, WHAT?
- THE LOSER CLEANS UP.
299
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,477
FINE.
300
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,678
WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? HEY! WHAT--
301
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,015
- ( pieces rattle )
- ( garbage disposal rumbles )
302
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,054
( disposal stops )
303
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,023
OKAY, THAT FELT GOOD.
304
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,462
OH, I'M SO HORNY.
305
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,772
OH, YEAH, YEAH...
306
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:25,309
YOU'RE A WOMAN,
YOU'RE HALF NAKED,
I'M A GUY, YEAH, I GET IT.
307
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,113
TELL ME, ARE YOU
ENJOYING YOURSELF?
308
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,282
OH, YEAH.
309
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,885
- DO YOU THINK WE PARTIED
LONG ENOUGH?
- OH, YEAH.
310
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:39,523
WE'VE BEEN HERE ALMOST--
WOW, 12 MINUTES.
311
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,859
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
WE HAVE TO STAY SO THESE
GUYS DON'T THINK WE'RE...
312
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,095
- YOU KNOW...
- WOMEN?
313
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,964
- YEAH.
- FIVE SECONDS.
314
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,666
- OH, YEAH.
- WALK THAT AROUND.
315
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,268
- SHAKE THAT THING.
- WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
316
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,769
- COME TO PAPA.
- BANG, BANG.
317
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,804
- OW!
- OW!
318
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,973
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
319
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,811
- HUH-UH.
- UH-HUH.
320
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,013
- HUH-UH...
- UH-HUH...
321
00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:03,147
- HUH-UH.
- UH-HUH.
322
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,483
MARY, SETTLE THIS ONE FOR US.
323
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,052
WHO IS THE MORE
ORIGINAL PHYSICIST--
324
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:11,222
NIELS BOHR
OR MAX PLANCK?
325
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,659
PLANCK, DEFINITELY PLANCK.
326
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,161
THERE'S SO MUCH FOOD HERE,
IT'S LIKE A WHITE HOLE
327
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,431
AND THE BLACK HOLE
IS AT THE A&P.
328
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,968
- THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
- OH, GREAT.
329
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,972
THESE ARE THE DULLEST
PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET.
330
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:31,274
THEY MAKE MY MOTHER
LOOK LIKE RIP TAYLOR.
331
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,680
GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE TO GO WAKE UP.
332
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,951
- ( knocking on door )
- EXCUSE ME.
333
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,124
- HELLO, MARY.
- WELL, DICK, WHAT A SURPRISE.
334
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:51,595
I'D INVITE YOU IN BUT
THERE'S NO ONE TAKING
THEIR CLOTHES OFF IN HERE.
335
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,798
OF COURSE AT THIS POINT
ANYTHING WOULD HELP.
336
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,433
MARY, I'M BACK
337
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,302
AND I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE YOU
FOR TRYING TO RUN MY LIFE.
338
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,071
- GOOD BYE, DICK.
- OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
339
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,073
MARY, WHAT I MEANT WAS...
340
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:06,544
I-- I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR REACTING SO POORLY
341
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,646
WHEN YOU TRIED
TO RUN MY LIFE.
342
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,783
- GOOD BYE.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, MARY,
PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME.
343
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,152
I'M SORRY, I WAS ACTING
LIKE AN IDIOT.
344
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,920
I DIDN'T BELONG
AT THAT CLUB TONIGHT.
345
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:21,458
I BELONG HERE WITH YOU.
CAN'T I COME IN?
346
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:25,129
DICK, IT WILL BE A LONG TIME
BEFORE I LET YOU BACK
INTO MY LIFE,
347
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:28,932
- MUCH LESS MY HOUSE.
- ( mumbles )
348
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:32,937
- MARY, MARY, WE'RE ABOUT
TO PLAY A.P.C.
- A.P.C.?
349
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,972
ASTROPHYSICS CHARADES.
350
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,743
OKAY, YOU'VE WAITED
LONG ENOUGH.
351
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:43,080
- HI, BOYS!
- ( all cheer )
352
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,987
WOW, WHAT A ROOMFUL
OF WEIRDOS.
353
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,496
SO YOU TWO TOGETHER?
354
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,267
OKAY, OKAY, READY.
355
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,469
- UH... BOOK!
- TAXI!
356
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,171
UH... JOURNAL!
357
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,506
THEORY!
358
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,074
24 WORDS.
359
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:12,843
Woman:
FIRST WORD.
360
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,979
- IT'S A SMALL WORLD.
- Harry: SECOND WORD.
361
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,614
THE FIRST WORD
OR THE SECOND WORD?
362
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,549
TWO, THE NUMBER TWO.
363
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,318
Man:
OH...
364
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,421
SECOND WORD IS... SKY.
365
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,888
( voices overlapping )
366
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,024
OH-OH-OH-OH!
BIG GIANT HEAD.
367
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,730
- ( voices overlapping )
- OUTER SPACE.
368
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,332
OH-OH-OH-OH!
ALIEN, I'M AN ALIEN.
369
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,700
NO-OO!
370
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,636
YOU THE MAN.
371
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,506
UHH... REVOLUTION.
372
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:43,807
UH... INERTIA.
373
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,276
OH! OH! "TWO CELESTIAL
BODIES OF EQUAL MASS...
374
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,245
Both:
SHARING A SINGLE
GRAVITATIONAL FIELD
375
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,414
WILL EXHIBIT IDENTICAL
ROTATIONAL PROPERTIES
376
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,250
FOR AS LONG AS THEIR
INERTIAL INTEGRITY
IS MAINTAINED."
377
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,486
( all cheering )
378
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:02,292
THIS-- THIS IS THE PHYSICS
BLOWOUT OF THE SEMESTER.
379
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:06,130
- OKAY, WHO'S UP
FOR QUANTUM PICTIONARY?
- ( all yell )
380
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,798
MEN...
381
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,034
CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM...
382
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:15,272
GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
383
00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,614
OKAY...
384
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:27,317
PROFESSOR PLUM
GETS INTO THE LIBRARY
385
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:28,386
WITH A PILLOW.
386
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,287
A PILLOW?
387
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,855
YOU CAN KILL SOMEONE
WITH A PILLOW.
388
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,290
THERE'S NO PILLOW IN CLUE.
389
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,425
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
SO INGENIOUS.
390
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:37,795
I'VE ELIMINATED
THE LIBRARY
391
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,530
AND THE BILLIARD ROOM
AND I'M PRETTY SURE--
392
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:42,666
HEY, TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS!
393
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,902
WHAT AM I DOING
PLAYING BOARD GAMES?
394
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:50,107
OH, MY...