1
00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,904
OH, HI, NINA.
2
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,339
WOULD YOU
STAND UP ON THE DESK
AND ADJUST THAT VENT?
3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,341
IT'S BLOWING
RIGHT IN MY FACE.
4
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:13,077
UH, YEAH. I'LL GET
TO THAT REAL SOON.
5
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,881
UNTIL THEN,
YOU JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
6
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,016
FAIR ENOUGH.
7
00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:23,321
OH HI, DICK.
WOULD YOU ADJUST
MY VENT?
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,893
WITH NINA
IN THE ROOM?
9
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,031
GET UP ON THE DESK
AND ADJUST MY VENT.
10
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:36,401
- OH, OF COURSE. NINA,
PLEASE LEAVE THE ROOM.
- NO PROBLEM.
11
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,238
I...
12
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,407
I CAN'T REACH IT
FROM HERE.
13
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,576
- PUT YOUR FOOT
ON THE CHAIR.
- WHA--
14
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,078
( stammers )
ARE YOU SURE?
IT'S-- IT'S WOBBLY.
15
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,248
- WELL, I'LL HOLD IT DOWN.
- WELL, ALL RIGHT.
16
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,184
- A LITTLE FURTHER.
- OKAY.
17
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,419
( grunts )
18
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,922
- AH, THERE. HOW'S THAT?
- HOLD ON, I'LL CHECK.
19
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,957
( screams )
20
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,260
OH, MY FOOT!
MY FOOT!
21
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,495
OH, I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
22
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,865
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!
( groans )
23
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,034
( '50s rock music playing )
24
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,898
THAT SHOULD DO IT,
DR. SOLOMON.
25
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,000
WELL, THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
I FEEL NO PAIN.
26
00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:45,971
WELL YOU MAY FEEL
SOME DISCOMFORT WHEN
THE SHOCK WEARS OFF.
27
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:50,075
NO. OBVIOUSLY,
THE FALL HAS MADE ME
IMPERVIOUS TO PAIN.
28
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:55,314
YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND TRY
TO STAY OFF YOUR FOOT
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
29
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,382
KEEP IT ELEVATED,
KEEP ICE ON IT.
30
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,883
JUST USE GOOD JUDGMENT.
31
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,685
I HAVE
EXCELLENT JUDGMENT.
32
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,520
YEP.
33
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:05,457
IN FACT, NINA,
HAND ME THE STAPLE GUN.
34
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,162
- CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME.
- OH, THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
35
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,263
I'll TAKE HIM HOME
RIGHT NOW.
36
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:15,934
- I CAN DRIVE MYSELF.
- OH! DON'T BE SILLY!
IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
37
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,337
I'LL TAKE YOU HOME,
COME BACK HERE,
PICK UP MY CAR,
38
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:21,439
GO TO THE DRUG STORE,
THE GROCERY STORE,
PICK UP ANYTHING YOU NEED.
39
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:25,377
- OKAY.
- I'LL JUST BRING THE CAR
AROUND, OKAY?
40
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,880
WHA-- WHY IS SHE
DOING THIS?
41
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,882
SIT BACK AND RELAX.
YOU'RE IN PAIN,
42
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,851
SHE KNOWS SHE CAUSED IT,
SHE FEELS GUILTY.
43
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:36,154
WHA-- WHY SHOULD SHE
BE GUILTY? I'M NOT IN PAIN.
44
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,091
I HAVE A SUPERHUMAN
THRESHOLD FOR PAIN.
45
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,731
( screaming )
46
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,969
OKAY.
47
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,172
AND WHA-LAH!
48
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,875
HARRY?
49
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,810
I'M IN MY ROOM!
50
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,285
THIS ISN'T A ROOM.
THIS IS A SHOWER CURTAIN
IN A HALL WAY.
51
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,222
IS THAT SO? THEN WHY
ARE MY LINENS HERE?
52
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,893
BECAUSE YOUR LINENS FELL OFF
THE WASHING MACHINE.
53
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,995
I'M SICK OF SLEEPING
ON THE WASHING MACHINE.
54
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,966
OH, SURE,
A VIBRATING BED
IMPRESSES THE LADIES...
55
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:25,236
BUT I WANT MY OWN ROOM!
DICK SAID THAT I
COULD HAVE ONE.
56
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,073
NO. DICK SAID THAT UNDER
NO CIRCUMSTANCES COULD YOU
HAVE YOUR OWN ROOM.
57
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,743
LET'S NOT QUIBBLE
OVER SEMANTICS.
58
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,912
BESIDES, YOU GUYS
HAVE YOUR OWN ROOMS.
59
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,414
I SLEEP IN A STORAGE SPACE
BEHIND DICK'S CHIMNEY.
60
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:40,585
AND MY ROOM IS
AN UNINSULATED ALCOVE
OVERLOOKING A TOILET.
61
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,322
ROOM WITH A VIEW...
RUB IT IN.
62
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,193
( sighs )
HARRY, YOU CAN'T
SLEEP IN THE HALLWAY!
63
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:52,931
( gasps )
HOME WRECKER!
64
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,933
( Dick groaning )
65
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,601
Sally:
WHAT'S WRONG?!
66
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,770
- SHE HURT ME!
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
67
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,772
- OH, SOME ACCIDENT.
- WELL...
68
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,075
WE CAN MAKE ACCIDENTS
HAPPEN TOO, LADY.
69
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,444
HERE, LET ME
ELEVATE THAT FOOT.
70
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,279
( screams )
NO TOUCHING!
71
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,948
- NO TOUCHING!
- NO TOUCHING.
72
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,950
OOH, WHAT DID MY BODY
EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?
73
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:16,388
WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!
MARY, TURN IT OFF!
74
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,891
WELL I CAN'T. THE DOCTOR
SAID HE DOESN'T GIVE DRUGS
FOR A SPRAIN.
75
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,428
- ( groans )
- BUT THAT'S GOOD NEWS,
ISN'T IT? IT'S NOT BROKEN.
76
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,164
I HEARD SOMETIMES A SPRAIN
CAN BE WORSE THAN A BREAK.
77
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,167
- ( Tommy excited )
OH, IS THAT ONE WORSE?!
- YES, IT IS! MUCH WORSE!
78
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,002
WELL, I SAID
I WAS SORRY!
79
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,671
CAN I FIX YOU
SOMETHING TO EAT?
80
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:36,841
JUST FIX MY FOOT!
I DON'T CARE IF I STARVE,
JUST FIX MY FOOT!
81
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,544
( stammers )
I-- I'LL GET YOU
SOME ICE.
82
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,379
LOOK AT MY FOOT.
83
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,015
IT'S ONE BIG BOO-BOO.
84
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,783
YOU SOUND PRETTY PATHETIC.
85
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,785
IS IT PATHETIC
TO SPRAIN YOUR FOOT
86
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,089
WORSE THAN ANYBODY EVER
IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD?!
SALLY?!
87
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,092
SORRY, DICK.
BUT YOU KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT EARTH PAIN
88
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,328
UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN
A WOMAN, OKAY?
89
00:04:56,330 --> 00:05:00,699
ONE WEEK EVERY MONTH,
I FEEL LIKE I GOT A PAIR
OF PLIERS IN MY PANTS.
90
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,969
YOU GOT A BOO-BOO? I'M IN
THE NATIONAL GUARD OF PAIN.
91
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:08,840
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
I AM SO STUPID!
I AM SO STUPID!
92
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,342
MARY SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND
MY PAIN.
93
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:14,279
DICK?
I TOO UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN.
94
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,483
- IT'S RIGHT HERE.
- ( all scream )
95
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,692
AH, CRESPIN,
TWO BOXES?
96
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,696
RUPSIN, JOHNNY,
ONE BOX.
97
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,597
SOLOMON?
98
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,033
15?
99
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:38,036
YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN SELL
15 BOXES OF CHOCOLATE?
100
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,004
SELL?
101
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,773
THAT'S RIGHT.
102
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,976
AFTER SCHOOL, ON THE WEEKENDS--
UNTIL EVERY BAR OF CHOCOLATE
IS SOLD.
103
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,978
NO ONE'S GONNA WANNA
BUY THIS CRAP!
104
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,480
- IT DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE RAISINS!
- I'LL GIVE YOU RAISINS.
105
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,217
- OR NOUGAT!
- I'M GONNA NOUGAT YOU,
SOLOMON!
106
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,252
WHAT DO I GET
FOR SELLING THIS CRAP?
107
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,254
YOU GET THE SATISFACTION
OF HELPING TO PAY
108
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,989
TO SEND THE BAND
TO WASHINGTON!
109
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:01,927
- NOW HOW'S THAT
FOR COMPENSATION?!
- OH, ALL RIGHT, COOL.
110
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,996
( animated firing )
111
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,171
I BROUGHT YOU SOME SOUP.
112
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,908
( softly )
LET ME JUST FIX
THIS FOOT HERE.
113
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,344
( screams )
114
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,748
- EAT YOUR SOUP.
- OKAY.
115
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,017
( groans )
116
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,587
MMM, THIS TASTES
SUMPTUOUS.
117
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,590
MY MOTHER USED TO MAKE
THIS SOUP FOR ME WHENEVER
I WAS FEELING--
118
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,559
DID SHE ALWAYS SERVE IT
THIS COLD?
119
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,863
- I'LL HEAT IT UP
SOME MORE.
- THANK YOU, MARY.
120
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,798
THANK YOU.
( groans )
121
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,635
( groans )
122
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,105
- IS SOMETHING WRONG?
- OH...
123
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,842
NO, BUT,
COULD YOU ALSO
GET ME SOME CRACKERS?
124
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,778
( sighs )
SURE.
125
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,750
( groans )
126
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,887
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- OYSTER CRACKERS?
127
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,061
( groans )
128
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:15,233
( groans louder )
129
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,770
MARY,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
130
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,707
I'M SO HAPPY
THAT IT WAS YOU
WHO HURT ME SO HORRIBLY.
131
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,912
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH YOUR SOUP AND CRACKERS.
132
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,316
( yelps )
133
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,318
OYSTER CRACKERS!
134
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,654
MY GOD!
135
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,589
I HAVE A MAGIC FOOT!
136
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,662
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- EATING YOUR SOUP.
137
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,998
- WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
- IT'S NOT THAT TERRIBLE.
138
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,901
YOU PUT A BUNCH OF OYSTER
CRACKERS IN IT, YOU CAN
BARELY TASTE IT.
139
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,970
DON'T EAT ALL OF THESE!
DICK IS LYING IN THERE HURT.
140
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:57,342
I'M FINE AND I'M HUNGRY.
BESIDES, I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO BROKE HIS FOOT.
141
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,177
( sternly )
SPRAINED.
142
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,179
HAVE A LITTLE COMPASSION,
SALLY.
143
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,214
WE'RE HEALTHY.
WE HAVE TO HELP HIM.
144
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,149
I SAY HE'S LAME.
SHOOT HIM.
145
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,954
AND WHA-LAH!
146
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,096
HARRY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN HERE?
147
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,431
DANCING TO THE NATURAL
SOUNDS OF PLUMBING.
148
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,034
OKAY, WELL, GET OUT
'CAUSE I'VE GOT
TO USE THE BATHROOM.
149
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,370
YOU CAN'T KICK ME
OUT OF MY OWN ROOM!
150
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,705
OKAY, PILGRIM.
IT'S YOUR FUNERAL.
151
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:30,641
OH, DEAR GOD!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
152
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,884
HI, MY NAME'S
TOMMY SOLOMON.
153
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:43,487
I'M SELLING CHOCOLATE BARS
TO SEND THE HIGH SCHOOL BAND
TO WASHINGTON.
154
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,325
( doorbell rings )
155
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,729
HEY, FAT GUY!
IS THIS A DREAM
OR WHAT?!
156
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,664
CANDY DOOR TO DOOR--
157
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,967
- ( doorbell rings )
- Tommy: HI, FATHER.
158
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,969
I'M TRYING TO SELL
THESE CHOCOLATE BARS
159
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,238
SO THE HIGH SCHOOL BAND
CAN GO TO WASHINGTON.
160
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,708
AND LEARN
ABOUT CHRISTIANITY.
161
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,745
( stammers )
AND... BECOME PRIESTS.
162
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,749
FINE THEN.
THEY'LL STAY HERE
IN RUTHERFORD
163
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,684
AND WORSHIP SATAN!
164
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:18,589
NOW THIS IS
WHAT I CALL A ROOM.
( exhales sharply )
165
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,425
I'VE GOT EVERYTHING
A MAN COULD NEED.
166
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,827
A PIECE OF PLYWOOD, THE GNOME,
A VERY THIN BLANKET,
167
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,830
NO FOOD,
AND MY NEW FRIEND, THE CROW.
168
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,832
( crow cawing )
169
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,168
( mocking crow )
HI, NEIGHBOR!
170
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,103
( cawing )
171
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,114
NOT EXACTLY
THE HOUSE-WARMING GIFT
I HOPED FOR.
172
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,383
BUT YOU CAN'T
PICK YOUR NEIGHBORS.
173
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,619
TOMMY,
MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
174
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,556
YOU HAVE A SANDWICH
RIGHT THERE.
175
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,559
I KNOW,
BUT MARY CUT IT IN HALF,
AND NOT DIAGONALLY
176
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,494
AND THAT HURTS MY FOOT.
177
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:02,734
WELL, YOU CAN CHALK IT UP
TO ME BEING A TEENAGER,
BUT I JUST DON'T CARE.
178
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:08,039
MARY WON'T BE BACK
FROM THE COLORING BOOK STORE
FOR HALF AN HOUR.
179
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,041
YOU KNOW, THIS DAY
HAS BEEN HELL!
180
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,143
I THINK I MET
ONE NICE GUY ALL DAY.
181
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,878
HOW MANY BARS DID HE BUY?
182
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,749
ON, NONE.
BUT HE SOLD ME THIS NICE
SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIAS.
183
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,819
TOMMY?
184
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,154
TOMMY, IT'S AN EMERGENCY!
I NEED THE REMOTE!
185
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,090
( groans )
186
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:28,326
SALLY?!
SALLY?!
187
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,929
( hollers )
188
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,431
- GOD, WHAT?!
- I CAN'T REACH THE REMOTE.
189
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,933
- IT'S RIGHT THERE!
- BUT I CAN'T GET TO IT,
SALLY.
190
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,169
- SO?!
- OH, LIEUTENANT.
191
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,237
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO FEEL HELPLESS?
192
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,239
TO BE ROBBED
OF YOUR FREEDOM BY AN INJURY?
193
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,241
TO BE A BURDEN
ON YOUR FAMILY?
194
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,744
OH, GOD,
HOW YOU MUST HATE ME!
195
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,449
( stammers )
I'M-- EXPERIENCING
THE STRANGEST SENSATION.
196
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,086
I FEEL BAD
THAT YOU FEEL BAD AND...
197
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,323
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW
IT'LL BE ANNOYING,
198
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,058
I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIGHT IT.
DICK, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?!
199
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,895
MAKE ME A SANDWICH
AND CUT IT DIAGONALLY.
200
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,663
OKAY.
201
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,967
OH, YOU FORGOT
THE REMOTE!
202
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,945
MY FOOT!
IT'S BETTER!
203
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,148
NO!
204
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,526
GO ON, DOCTOR.
GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
205
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,228
THE ANKLE LOOKS GREAT.
206
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,298
- ARE YOU SURE?
- YES, YOU'RE ALL BETTER.
207
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,735
( cries )
208
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,136
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD
BREAK IT AND SET IT AGAIN
209
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,939
JUST TO MAKE SURE
IT HEALS PROPERLY?
210
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,809
- NO.
- DOCTOR, YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND.
211
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,810
THE MOMENT I SPRAINED
THAT FOOT,
212
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,813
MY LIFE WENT
FROM VCR TO VCR PLUS!
213
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,082
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME!
214
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,885
DICK?
THE ANKLE IS HEALED.
215
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:05,923
I WON'T BE TREATED THIS WAY
BY YOUR HEARTLESS HMO!
216
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,426
I DEMAND CONTROL
OF MY TREATMENT OPTIONS!
217
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:12,763
BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE LENGTH
OF OUR TIME HERE THAT MATTERS,
IT'S THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES!
218
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,932
AND IF YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED
TO BREAK MY FOOT,
219
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,535
THEN BY GOD, I'LL FIND
A DOCTOR WHO WILL!
220
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:25,443
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME
THAT IN THIS COLORFUL,
MONOCHROME WRAPPER
221
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,446
- IS A BAR OF CHOCOLATE?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
222
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,281
DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE.
223
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:33,284
NOW, HOW FAR WOULD YOU WALK
FOR A BAR OF CHOCOLATE?
224
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,721
TO GET A BAR OF CHOCOLATE,
OR AT THE REQUEST OF A BAR
OF CHOCOLATE?
225
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,791
- TO GET.
- OH, 53 MILES.
226
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,295
WELL, NOW YOU CAN HAVE
CHOCOLATE IN YOUR OWN HOME.
227
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,397
IN MY OWN HOME?!
228
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,235
THAT'S RIGHT. NOW, HOW MUCH
WOULD YOU PAY FOR THAT?
229
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,171
FOR MY OWN HOME
OR FOR A BAR OF CHOCOLATE?
230
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,207
- BAR OF CHOCOLATE.
- AH--
231
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,476
WELL, WE TRIED.
232
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,714
OW!
233
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,716
EXCUSE ME,
MY FRIEND HURT HIS LEG.
234
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,751
COULD YOU HELP US OUT
AND BUY A CHOCOLATE BAR?
235
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,324
OH, NINA...
236
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,825
I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW GOOD IT IS
237
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,662
TO BE AMONG PEOPLE
WHO BRUSH THEIR OWN TEETH.
238
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,931
YOU'RE NOT
BRUSHING HIS TEETH?
239
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,502
DO I HAVE ANY MESSAGES?
240
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,606
1:00, DR. SOLOMON CALLED.
HE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE.
241
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,843
- OH, GOD.
- 1:05, DR. SOLOMON
CALLED AGAIN.
242
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:36,981
HIS FOOT FEELS HOT.
DOESN'T KNOW IF THAT'S
A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING.
243
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:41,252
1:12, DR. SOLOMON CALLED.
HE'S HUNGRY. CAN YOU MAKE HIM
A PERSONAL PAN PIZZA?
244
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,822
1:17,
DR. SOLOMON CALLED.
245
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,659
WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN THAT YOU WERE THE ONE
THAT HURT HIS FOOT.
246
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,595
( phone ringing )
247
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,637
( speaking with accent )
HELLO?
248
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,307
NO, YOU HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
249
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,378
OH, YOUR FOOT HURTS?
250
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,815
HAVE YOU TRIED
HITTING IT WITH A HAMMER?
251
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,986
( both laughing )
252
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,390
- ( doorbell rings )
- I'VE COLD CALLED,
253
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,726
I'VE DIRECT MAILED.
I CAN'T AFFORD A PAY-PER-VIEW
SPECIAL.
254
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,229
- NOTHING WORKS.
- THIS ISN'T MY PROBLEM,
BUDDY.
255
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:28,833
WELL, JUST HELP OUT
AN INCREDIBLY SCREWED KID
AND BUY A CHOCOLATE BAR.
256
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,736
IF I BOUGHT EVERY STUPID
THING THAT CAME TO MY DOOR--
257
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:35,072
TOMMY, FORGET IT.
THE GUY'S NOT BUYING ANYTHING.
258
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:39,010
I'D BE LIVING UP TO MY PLEDGE
TO HELP EVERY KID
WHO CAME TO MY DOOR.
259
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,349
- CASH OR CHECK?
- HOW 'BOUT BOTH?
260
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:49,420
OH, COME ON!
THAT IS JUST SO CHEAP!
261
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,355
GOD!
262
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,094
I REALLY WANT SOME CANDY!
263
00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:01,465
( "Sexual Healing" playing )
264
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,401
( radio playing
"Sexual Healing" )
265
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:11,442
- WHAT IS THAT?
- 93.9, THE WAVE.
266
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,178
THE BEST OF THE '70s,
'80s AND TODAY.
267
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,081
WELL, I KNOW WHAT IT IS,
BUT WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?
268
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,451
FROM MY NEW TREE
ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM!
269
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,952
OH, LOOK!
270
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:25,223
THE SQUIRRELS ARE GETTING IT ON
TO MARVIN GAYE.
271
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:30,461
- SO IT'S NICE UP THERE?
- ONLY THE BEST ROOM
IN THE HOUSE.
272
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,731
- SEE YOU LATER, DICK.
- ( stammers ) BUT-- BUT--
273
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,732
WHA-- WHA--
OH, SALLY?
274
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:39,136
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
275
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,972
YOU KNOW HOW I HATE
ASKING FOR YOUR HELP,
276
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,141
BUT COULD YOU JUST PLEASE
277
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:47,578
- DO ME THIS ONE LITTLE FAVOR?
- WHAT?
278
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,948
I WANT TO SEE
HARRY'S COOL TREE HOUSE.
CARRY ME?
279
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,950
NO WAY.
280
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,485
OH, PLEASE, SALLY?
281
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,387
- THERE'S SO LITTLE JOY
IN MY LIFE.
- NO.
282
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,056
BUT SALLY, I ASK YOU
FOR SO LITTLE!
283
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,191
- CAN YOU JUST ONCE--
- NO!
284
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,830
YOU'RE RIGHT.
285
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,834
WHAT GOOD IS A TREE HOUSE
VISIT WHEN DEATH IS ONLY
MOMENTS AWAY?
286
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,770
- WHAT?
- TONIGHT'S MEAL
MAY BE MY LAST.
287
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,006
AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
288
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,942
MEXICAN NIGHT!
289
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,115
- I THINK I HATE YOU, DICK.
- ( yelps )
290
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,518
TOMMY, HARRY!
WE GOTTA GO BACK
TO THE STORE!
291
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,021
- IT'S MEXICAN NIGHT!
- Both: OH, GREAT!
292
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,024
YOU KNOW WHAT IS SO WEIRD,
DICK?
293
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:36,360
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S, UH,
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING OR...
294
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,429
HOW YOU'RE SAYING IT,
BUT, UM...
295
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,099
ALL THAT STUFF THAT USED
TO MAKE ME WANT TO HELP YOU,
296
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,234
WELL, NOW IT'S JUST
PISSING ME OFF!
297
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,872
- OH, AND SALLY?
- WHAT?!
298
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,708
CORN TORTILLAS,
NOT FLOUR.
299
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,777
SI, SEÑOR.
300
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:57,815
( radio headset playing )
301
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,388
NO WAY!
302
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,324
YOU GUYS!
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!
303
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,966
Sally:
OHH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
304
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,401
Mary:
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
305
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,337
All: SSH!
306
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,241
THAT BASTARD!
307
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,744
- THERE GOES MEXICAN NIGHT.
- OH, IT'S MEXICAN NIGHT
ALL RIGHT.
308
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,913
MEXICAN PRISON NIGHT.
309
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,915
I SAY WE STICK A BUCKET
ON HIS HEAD
310
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:35,486
AND WHACK HIM WITH A BAT
LIKE A PIÑATA AND WE DON'T
STOP TILL CANDY COMES OUT!
311
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,754
- TOMMY, HARRY, LET'S GO!
- WAIT A MINUTE, SALLY!
312
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:41,091
WHAT ABOUT ME? HE'S TAKEN
ADVANTAGE OF ME WORSE THAN
ANY OF YOU.
313
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,461
HE MADE ME CUT UP HIS FOOD
AND FEED IT TO HIM.
314
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,397
HE MADE ME SING TO HIS FOOT!
315
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,366
HE MADE ME TAKE
HIS TEMPERATURE...
316
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,968
THE HARD WAY.
317
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,007
BESIDES, I DON'T THINK
WE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES
TO GET EVEN.
318
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:59,209
I HAVE A METAL BUCKET
AND THREE SOFTBALL BATS.
319
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,145
THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD START.
320
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,390
- ( walkman clicks )
- ( music stops )
321
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,829
( panting )
322
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,975
OOH-OH. HI.
323
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,911
THE, UM--
THE LADDER APPEARS
TO BE DISCONNECTED.
324
00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,848
FUNNY HOW THAT HAPPENED, EH?
325
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,152
THAT MUST BE PAINFUL
UP THERE ON THAT LADDER
326
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,720
WITH THAT TERRIBLE,
TERRIBLE SPRAIN.
327
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,722
( stammers )
AH, YEAH...
328
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,724
IT HURTS A LOT.
329
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,660
HEY, DICK, HOW DID YOU
GET UP THERE?
330
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,096
WELL, UH...
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
331
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,967
- NO, TELL US.
- COULD ONE OF YOU
JUST, UH...
332
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,035
GRAB THE END OF THE LADDER
AND PULL IT IN?
333
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,341
Mary: GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S AWFULLY FAR.
MY ARM HURTS.
334
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,343
- ( all agree )
- WELL...
335
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,878
WHY DON'T YOU LET ME DOWN
AND I'LL HAVE A LOOK AT THEM?
336
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,181
ADMIT IT, DICK!
YOU'RE A LIAR!
337
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,349
Sally:
YOU MANIPULATED US!
YOU TORTURED US!
338
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,351
IT JUST HAPPENED!
IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT!
339
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,521
- ( branch cracks )
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
340
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,690
IT'S MY FAULT.
YOU FORTITUDE JUST FELT SO GOOD.
341
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,526
SO APPROPRIATE.
342
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,362
- ( branch cracks )
- ( yelps )
343
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,364
- I'M SORRY.
- Mary: THAT'S BETTER.
344
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,533
- ( branch cracks )
- AAH!
345
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,201
( thump )
346
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,637
- ( branches cracking )
- WOW, NOW THAT'S
GOTTA HURT.
347
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,375
NOT AS MUCH AS THAT.
348
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:43,113
ALL RIGHT!
349
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,382
EVERYBODY LINE UP
INTO A CIRCLE.
350
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,888
- SOLOMON!
- SORRY I'M LATE, COACH.
351
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:55,392
HEY, ANYBODY WHO CAN SELL
15 BOXES OF CHOCOLATE IN MY
CLASS CAN BE A LITTLE TARDY.
352
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,328
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET,
CHAMP?
353
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,329
WELL,
YOU KNOW...
354
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,199
I JUST KEPT THINKING ABOUT
SENDING THE BAND TO WASHINGTON.
355
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,169
WELL, THEY'RE GONNA OWE YOU
SOME REAL THANKS WHEN THEY
GET BACK NEXT WEEK.
356
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,106
WELL, WHAT?
THEY'RE COMING BACK?
357
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,977
WELL, YEAH.
358
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,979
ALL RIGHT,
WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOLS
359
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,648
SOLD ENOUGH CHOCOLATE
TO BUY THEM A RETURN TICKET?!
360
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,319
EH? HEY, YOU LOOK AT ME
WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!
COME HERE!
361
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,492
GUILT IS LIKE A BELLY BUTTON
THAT DOESN'T EVEN COLLECT LINT.
362
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:34,765
IT'S A WASTED EMOTION
THAT JUST NAGS AND NAGS
AND NAGS AND NAGS--
363
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,268
UNTIL DICK FALLS
OUT OF THE TREE.
364
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,202
( all mocking groans )
365
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:46,510
MAYBE GUILT IS SOME KIND OF
ANCIENT GUIDANCE SYSTEM.
366
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,746
A STEALTH EMOTION
DESIGNED TO MAKE PEOPLE
367
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,081
HELP EACH OTHER OUT
EVEN IF THEY DON'T WANT TO.
368
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,852
IF I COULD JUST BREAK
THAT CODE, I COULD GET
YOU ALL TO SERVE ME.
369
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:58,088
YOU DON'T NEED GUILT
TO GET ANYONE TO SERVE YOU.
370
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,124
WE PROVED THAT
WHEN WE WERE SELLING CANDY.
371
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,760
ALL YOU NEED TO DO
IS REMIND PEOPLE THEY LIKE SEX.
372
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,428
OH.
373
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:08,365
WOULDN'T IT BE SCARY
IF SEX AND GUILT
WERE CONNECTED?
374
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,736
( all laughing )
375
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,639
SEX AND GUILT
CONNECTED!
376
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,908
- HARRY, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
- I KNOW, I KNOW!
377
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:26,283
DICK, I'VE BEEN WATCHING TV
AND I THINK YOU CAN WALK
WITHOUT THESE CRUTCHES.
378
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,651
NO, I CAN'T.
379
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:29,653
THIS MAN SAYS
THAT HE CANNOT WALK,
380
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:31,989
BUT I SAY
THAT HE CAN.
381
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,325
I SAY I FEEL THE SPIRIT
IN DICK SOLOMON.
382
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,493
- NOW STAND UP AND WALK.
- BUT MY FOOT IS BROKEN.
383
00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,495
OH, FOOT'S BROKEN.
THOSE ARE JUST WORDS!
384
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,497
NOW DEEP INSIDE
AND WALK, MY BROTHER!
385
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:42,499
- WALK!
- AAH!
386
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,436
( screams )
387
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:50,240
STAY IN BED, MY BROTHER.
STAY IN BED.