1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,606
Woman on TV:
<i> And one, and two.</i>
<i> And there you go.</i>

2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,207
<i> That's it!</i>

3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,945
<i> ( techno dance music</i>
<i> playing )</i>

4
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,881
FEEL THE BURN.

5
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,220
( giggling )

6
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,789
WELL, HELLO,
STRANGE BABY.

7
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,996
- WHO'S THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOME BABY.

8
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:33,398
THAT'S NO BABY.
BABIES ARE PINK,
AND WRINKLY,

9
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,701
AND WEAR BLANKETS.
DICK, YOU BETTER
COME IN HERE.

10
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,440
- WHO'S THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOME BABY.

11
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,909
- WHAT DOES IT WANT?
- I'LL FIND OUT.

12
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,445
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

13
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,752
HELLO.
HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY--

14
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:57,088
THERE'S
MY LITTLE RUG RAT.

15
00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,492
MRS. DUBCEK,
YOU HAD A BABY.

16
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,495
HE'S MY GRANDSON.
I'M BABYSITTING HIM.

17
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,398
MY SON AND HIS WIFE
ARE SPENDING THE WEEK
AT CAESAR'S PALACE.

18
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,800
- AH, ROME.
- MMM.

19
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,905
COULD I ASK YOU FOLKS
TO DO ME A FAVOR?

20
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,606
( all declining )

21
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,943
COULD YOU WATCH
THE LITTLE GUY WHILE
I RUN OUT TO THE DOCTOR'S?

22
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,245
- NO.
- YES, WE'D
BE HAPPY TO.

23
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,414
OH, GREAT, GREAT.

24
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,383
HE'S HAD HIS NAP,
AND HE'S JUST
BEEN CHANGED.

25
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,686
WHAT WAS HE BEFORE?

26
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,688
MRS. DUBCEK,
WHY DO YOU ASSUME

27
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,056
THAT SALLY WILL
BE TAKING CARE
OF THE BABY?

28
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,059
WELL, SHE'S A WOMAN.

29
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,795
YET ANOTHER PERK.

30
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,797
I'LL GO GET
HIS STUFF.

31
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,767
HE MAY BE A LITTLE CRANKY.
HE'S GOT TEETH COMING IN.

32
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,703
WELL, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL SIGN FOR THEM.

33
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,977
- PERMISSION TO ASK WHAT
THE HELL YOU JUST DID.
- IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY

34
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,979
TO OBSERVE
A BRAND-NEW HUMAN.

35
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,014
BESIDES, YOU ALWAYS SAID
YOU WANTED A BABY.

36
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,283
NOT THIS BABY.
I WANT ONE OF MY OWN,

37
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,285
ONE I MADE
FROM SCRATCH.

38
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,554
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

39
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,227
HEY, I'VE BEEN
WORKING OUT.

40
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,464
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

41
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,596
- ( baby crying )
- TURN IT OFF!

42
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,065
- I CAN'T.
- THEN TURN IT DOWN.

43
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,434
WHAT?!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

44
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,404
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
TOMMY, ENTERTAIN HIM
TILL I GET BACK.

45
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,773
- WHAT?  I DON'T
KNOW WHAT--
- WHOA, WHOA...

46
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,576
- UH... ALL RIGHT, KID,
I'LL READ YOU A STORY.
- ( continues crying )

47
00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,044
UM... "DINGO BOY
RELEASED FROM POUND.

48
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,948
- BURT REYNOLDS UP IN ARMS."
- ( crying louder )

49
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:05,650
LOOK.
IT'S A LITTLE
DINGO BOY.  SEE?

50
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,353
- MOVE IT.
- HEY, THOSE ARE
MY CROUTONS!

51
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,256
LET HIM BUY
HIS OWN CROUTONS.

52
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,360
LOOK!
HE'S EATING.

53
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,596
HE LIKES
THE CROUTONS,
HARRY.

54
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,799
THEY'RE
<i> NUMMY NUM,</i> YEAH!

55
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,368
WHY ARE YOU TALKING
LIKE THAT TO THE BABY?

56
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,438
I HAVE MY REASONS.

57
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,707
- WELL, I'M OFF.
- DICK, LOOK.

58
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,210
MRS. DUBCEK WAS RIGHT.
I AM GREAT WITH THIS KID.

59
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,347
WELL, HOW HARD
COULD IT BE?
LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS.

60
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:39,017
( crying )

61
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,686
HE'S SCREAMING?
WHY IS HE SCREAMING?

62
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,790
- SOMEBODY MAKE HIM STOP.
- ( stops crying )

63
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,727
HEY, HE STOPPED.

64
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,162
I'M GREAT
WITH THIS KID,
AND HE HATES YOU.

65
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,298
- GIVE ME THAT BABY.
- ( crying )

66
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,103
( stops crying )

67
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,804
( cries )

68
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,473
( stops crying )

69
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,309
( screeches )

70
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,579
DAMN!

71
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,985
SEE?
YOU MAKE HIM CRY.

72
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,487
NONSENSE.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER
HEARD OF TEARS OF JOY?

73
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,456
YEAH.

74
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,898
- COME ON.
WEAR THE HAT--
- NO, NO, NO.

75
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,033
COME ON.
IT'S MARY'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY.

76
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,202
SHE'S ONLY
GOING TO BE GONE
FOR THREE DAYS.

77
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:34,772
- PLEASE WEAR THE HAT.
HAT, HAT, HAT!
- NO, NO, NO, NO!

78
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,241
HELLO.

79
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,343
- SURPRISE!
- SURPRISE.

80
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,715
MARY, I MISS YOU
ALREADY.

81
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,984
NOW, DICK, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO THROW ME
A SURPRISE PARTY

82
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,654
EVERY TIME I GO
TO A CONFERENCE.

83
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,190
YOU WOULDN'T BE
SAYING THAT IF NINA
HAD WORN HER HAT.

84
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,626
OH, NINA...

85
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,260
HERE ARE MY KEYS.

86
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,196
- YOU KNOW WHERE I
KEEP THE FISH FOOD.
- YES.

87
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:01,599
- NINA'S TAKING CARE
OF YOUR FISH?
- YES.

88
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:05,169
- MARY, SHOULDN'T I
BE DOING THAT?
- UH...

89
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:08,807
UH... NINA
ALREADY KNOWS WHERE
I KEEP THE FOOD.

90
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,142
I SEE.

91
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,144
- SHE ALREADY KNOWS.
- UH-HUH.

92
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,346
IT MUST MAKE IT
A LOT EASIER
FOR YOU, THEN.

93
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:18,149
- IF YOU REALLY
WANT TO DO IT--
- YES, I DO!

94
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,319
MARY, I WANT TO TAKE
CARE OF YOUR FISH
DESPERATELY.

95
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,258
REALLY, NINA,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

96
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,461
( chuckles )
JUST DOING MY JOB.

97
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,030
- I HAVE FISH,
YOU KNOW.
- DO YOU?

98
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,966
MM-HMM.
THEY'RE IN
MY FREEZER.

99
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,405
HERE YOU GO, BABY.

100
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,544
WELL, HE HATED THAT.

101
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:50,381
WHEN IS SALLY
GOING TO GET BACK
WITH THOSE DIAPERS?

102
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,483
OH, LOOK!

103
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:55,954
SOME COMING OUT
OF HIS NOSE AGAIN.

104
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,056
UGH!  IT'S LIKE
HE'S GOT WETNESS

105
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,658
COMING OUT
OF EVERY HOLE
IN HIS BODY.

106
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,332
DUMB, WET BABY.

107
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,140
- HEY, HE LIKES IT.
- OH!  AH.

108
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,811
MAYBE NOT.

109
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,784
HUH?

110
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,955
YEAH.

111
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,694
SUDDENLY IT'S NOT
QUITE SO FUNNY
WHEN I DO IT,

112
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,796
NOW, IS IT?
WHAT?

113
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,299
- IT'S A BABY.
- OH.

114
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:48,106
- OH, MARY, THIS MEANS
SO MUCH TO ME.
- YEAH.

115
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,242
OKAY, NOW, LET'S
GO OVER THIS
ONE MORE TIME.

116
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,711
THE FILTER
AND THE HEATER
ARE AUTOMATIC.

117
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:57,149
- DON'T TOUCH THEM.
- WELL, WHAT IF I NEED
TO TOUCH THEM?

118
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,150
WHY SHOULD YOU NEED
TO TOUCH THEM?

119
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,419
WHAT IF I WANT
TO TOUCH THEM?

120
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,588
JUST DON'T
TOUCH THEM.

121
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,757
NOW, HERE'S SOMETHING
I LIKE TO DO.

122
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,758
IF THE FISH
HAVE BEEN GOOD,

123
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,728
I LIKE TO REWARD THEM
WITH A LITTLE
BRINE SHRIMP.

124
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,231
AND IF THEY'RE BAD,
I'LL MAKE THEM WATCH

125
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,500
WHILE I EAT
THE BRINE SHRIMP.

126
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,069
NOW, THIS MIGHT
SOUND SILLY,

127
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,071
BUT I'M VERY ATTACHED
TO THESE FISH.

128
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,239
PLEASE DON'T
KILL THEM.

129
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,241
YOU LOVE YOUR FISH,
AND I LOVE YOU.

130
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,244
THAT'S WHY I'M GOING
TO LOVE YOUR FISH.

131
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,512
JUST FEED THEM.

132
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,216
DON'T TOUCH
THE FILTER!

133
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,152
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

134
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,556
( phone rings )

135
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,961
- ( rings )
- HELLO.

136
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,064
WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU TWO?

137
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:49,167
HOW MANY TIMES DO I
HAVE TO GO OVER THIS?
WHEN THAT BABY IS ASLEEP,

138
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,435
THE PHONE
IS NOT TO RING
MORE THAN ONCE.

139
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,104
RIGHT.

140
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,573
THE ONE-RING RULE.

141
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,742
THAT'S RIGHT.

142
00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:00,812
HARRY, DID YOU
THROW APPLESAUCE
ALL OVER THE FLOOR?

143
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,015
NO, IT WAS
THE BABY.

144
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,918
HE MADE A CUTE
LITTLE DESIGN.

145
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,954
- MRS. DUBCEK--
- SHH!

146
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,226
- SHE WON'T BE BACK
UNTIL TOMORROW.
- WHAT?!

147
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,228
SHE SAID SHE WAS STILL WOOZY
FROM THE MEDICATION,

148
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,565
THAT SHE GOT ON THE WRONG BUS
AND WOKE UP IN A PETTING
ZOO IN CLEVELAND.

149
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,333
( groans )

150
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,169
OH, THAT OLD EXCUSE.

151
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,438
WE GET TO
KEEP THE BABY
ANOTHER DAY.

152
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,808
OH, GREAT.
AND BY THE WAY,

153
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,443
- IT WAS ME THAT
SPILLED APPLESAUCE.
- IT WAS?

154
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,412
NO, IT WAS
THE BABY.

155
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,848
- I'VE BEEN MEANING TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT--
- SHH!

156
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,682
SHH!

157
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,652
I THINK I HEAR HIM
TURNING OVER.

158
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:47,558
- I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.
- OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
YOU'RE A MAN.

159
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,928
( all exclaiming )

160
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,930
HOW COULD
THIS HAPPEN?

161
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,932
THAT BABY HAS TAKEN
CONTROL OF US.

162
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,502
THE ONE WITH
THE LEAST INTELLIGENCE
IS RUNNING THE SHOW.

163
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,571
THIS IS GETTING OLD FAST.
THERE ARE THREE OF US
AND ONLY ONE OF HIM.

164
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,306
WE'RE BIGGER THAN HIM
AND WAY SMARTER.

165
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,843
WE COULD TAKE THIS BABY.
WHO'S WITH ME?

166
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,177
( all grunt )

167
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,180
COME ON, MEN.

168
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,750
-<i> ( phone rings )</i>
- ( yells )

169
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,754
- ONE RING.
- ONE.

170
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,328
HELLO, FISH.

171
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,563
LOOK AT YOU
IN THERE.

172
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,733
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
THINKING.

173
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,569
ARE YOU IN THE TANK,
OR AM I?

174
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,405
WELL, IT'S YOU,
STUPID FISH.

175
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,008
HERE, I BROUGHT YOU
SOME PRESENTS--

176
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,778
A TREASURE CHEST FILLED
WITH GOLD DOUBLOONS,

177
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,548
A TOPLESS MERMAID.
TRY NOT TO STARE.

178
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:48,520
AND, BEST OF ALL,
I BROUGHT YOU

179
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,688
A NEW FRIEND.

180
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,690
I CALL HER SNOWFLAKE

181
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:55,260
BECAUSE SHE'S SOFT
AND DELICATE.

182
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,295
( chuckles )

183
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,765
I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT LIKE IT

184
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,867
IF I READ YOU
A NIGHT-NIGHT STORY.

185
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,803
IT'S CALLED
"TALES OF THE CALYPSO:

186
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:08,573
SECRETS OF
THE OCEAN DEEP."

187
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,478
( mocking French accent )
"SLOWLY, SO SLOWLY,

188
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,549
THE DAY TURNED
TO NIGHT.

189
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,884
THE DARKNESS
TAUNTS THE LIGHT

190
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:24,021
THAT DANCES
IN THE DEPTHS BELOW.

191
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,624
SUDDENLY
AND WITHOUT WARNING,

192
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,460
DANGER STRIKES.

193
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,129
OCTOPUS, OCTOPUS,

194
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,967
YOUR CHILDREN
ARE DYING."

195
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,902
( sobs )

196
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,473
I WANT THAT.
I WANT THAT.
I WANT THAT.

197
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:44,308
I WANT THAT.
I WANT THAT.
I WANT--

198
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,410
WE'RE HERE
TO GET SOMETHING
FOR THE BABY.

199
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:49,113
- WE'RE NOT HERE TO GET
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- NUTS.

200
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,054
HERE, BABY.
WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

201
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,056
WHERE'D HE GO?

202
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:01,159
( gasps )
OH, NO!

203
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:06,131
- HOLD ON, BABY!
- NO, SALLY,
YOU CAN'T!

204
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,299
LET ME GO!
I'VE GOT TO
SAVE HIM.

205
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,835
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
IT'S A BOTTOMLESS
BALL PIT OF DEATH!

206
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,273
I DON'T CARE!
THAT'S MY BABY!

207
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,843
- NO!
- ( screams )

208
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,513
( pants )

209
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,347
OH!

210
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,349
I'VE GOT HIM!

211
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,318
- I'VE GOT HIM.
- ( giggles )

212
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,253
HEY, LADY,

213
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,422
WE ONLY LET
CHILDREN CLIMB
IN THE BALL PIT.

214
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,559
THAT IS SO SICK.

215
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,104
<i> ( door closes )</i>

216
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,844
LIEUTENANT,
YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.

217
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:57,047
I MEAN THE "LOCKED
IN A CAR WASH OVERNIGHT"
KIND OF HELL.

218
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,251
YEAH, IT'S THIS BABY.

219
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,153
HE RAN ME RAGGED
ALL DAY.

220
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:05,090
THAT INSOLENT
LITTLE TWERP.

221
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:08,593
HE'S GONE TOO FAR.
TOMORROW I'M GRANTING YOU
A ONE-DAY FURLOUGH.

222
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:12,262
GO INTO TOWN.
GET YOURSELF A TATTOO.

223
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:15,099
I CAN'T.
TOMORROW I'M TAKING
THE BABY TO THE PARK,

224
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,502
AND THEN THE ZOO,
AND THEN I'M TAKING
HIM GOLFING.

225
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,837
I THINK HE HAS
REAL TALENT.

226
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,174
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE
ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS.

227
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,176
I AM.

228
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,511
I KNOW I COMPLAINED
AT THE START,

229
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,681
BUT THIS IS THE FIRST
ASSIGNMENT I'VE HAD

230
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:32,617
WHERE I REALLY FEEL
LIKE I'M USING
ALL OF ME.

231
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:36,120
IT SOUNDS CRAZY,
BUT I CANNOT DO
ENOUGH FOR HIM.

232
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,957
THE MORE HE NEEDS ME,
THE MORE I NEED HIM.

233
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,959
( gasps )
I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

234
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,928
- LET'S WAKE HIM UP, THEN
ROCK HIM BACK TO SLEEP.
- NO!

235
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,030
- WHY NOT?
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

236
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,633
IT'S AS IF THIS BABY
HAS MADE YOU GO ALL SOFT.

237
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,101
- HE'S BROKEN DOWN
YOUR DEFENSES.
- I KNOW.

238
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,270
HE'S MY<i> WITTLE</i>
BUNNY<i> WABBIT.</i>

239
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,107
GOD, WHAT KIND
OF TALK IS THAT?
YOU'RE A WEAPONS EXPERT.

240
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,841
I'M STILL A WARRIOR.

241
00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,844
IT'S JUST NOW
I'M THE PROTECTOR,
NOT THE AGGRESSOR.

242
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,580
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

243
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,715
YOU CAN'T.
I'VE TUCKED HIM
IN YOUR BED.

244
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:08,319
AS HIGH COMMANDER,
I ORDER YOU TO UNTUCK
HIM AT ONCE.

245
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,821
DICK, I'M NOT
TAKING ORDERS
FROM YOU ANYMORE.

246
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,124
I'M TAKING ORDERS
FROM A HIGHER COMMANDER.

247
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,894
- HIS RANK: BABY.
- BUT WAIT!

248
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:19,163
- WHERE AM I
GOING TO SLEEP?
- USE HIS ROOM.

249
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,666
( groans )

250
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,937
FINE.

251
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,346
MORNING, CHILDREN.

252
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,948
HELLO, SNOWFLAKE.

253
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,552
WHERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE?

254
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,890
COME OUT, COME OUT!

255
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:49,060
WHY, SNOWFLAKE,
YOU'RE LOOKING
A LITTLE BLOATED.

256
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,430
( gasps )
OH, MY GOD!

257
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,467
YOU BAD FISH!
BAD, BAD FISH!

258
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,403
WHERE'S THAT
BRINE SHRIMP?

259
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,372
SEE?
NONE FOR YOU!

260
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,077
DICK!

261
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,712
MARY, YOU'VE
COME BACK EARLY.

262
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:11,748
THE CONFERENCE
WAS A DISASTER.
I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE.

263
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,552
ARE YOU SURE
THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK.

264
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,553
NO.

265
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:19,190
BESIDES,
I MISSED YOU.

266
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,225
OH, I WAS SO LONE--

267
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,164
- WHERE'S MY FISH?
- OH... THERE'S
YOUR FISH.

268
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,266
- THAT'S NOT MY FISH.
- SURE, IT IS.

269
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,668
- YOU KILLED MY FISH!
- NO, I DIDN'T!

270
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,503
HE DID.

271
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,839
- YOU JACKASS!
- YEAH, YOU JACKASS!

272
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,411
HELLO, SWEETHEART.

273
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,580
CAN YOU SAY
MY NAME?

274
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,582
- SALLY.
- NO.

275
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,519
SAL-LY.

276
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,521
NO.

277
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,990
SAL-LY.

278
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,992
NO.

279
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,961
SAL-LY.

280
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,932
YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULDN'T
TRY SO HARD.

281
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,934
KIDS DEVELOP
AT DIFFERENT RATES.

282
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,770
AND RESISTANCE
IS THE SIGN OF
AN ANALYTICAL MIND.

283
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,506
- REALLY?
- NO.

284
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,008
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO?

285
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,010
I'M GOING TO FIND
MR. SOCK MONKEY.

286
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,580
- YOU LIKE MR. SOCK
MONKEY, RIGHT?
- Dick:<i> SALLY!</i>

287
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,748
SALLY, I FEEL
JUST AWFUL.

288
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,517
- I'VE KILLED THE FISH
OF THE WOMAN I LOVE.
- UH-HUH.

289
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,519
MR. SOCK MONKEY,
WHERE ARE YOU?

290
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,521
THOSE FISH WERE
EVERYTHING TO HER.

291
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,924
- I'VE GOT TO FIND SOMETHING
TO REPLACE THEM.
- COME ON OUT,

292
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,194
- YOU ARGYLE
PIECE OF CRAP!
- SALLY?  HELLO?

293
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,596
SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU.
SHE CAN ONLY HEAR
THE BABY.

294
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,565
HARRY, HAVE YOU SEEN
MR. SOCK MONKEY?

295
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,600
WHY, NO.

296
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,703
WHY WOULD
YOU ASK ME?

297
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,272
I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM ALL DAY.

298
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,708
♪ LA, LA-LA,
LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

299
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,111
IT'S PROBABLY
IN THE BEDROOM.

300
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,146
CALL ME IF HE
NEEDS ANYTHING.

301
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,348
WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO?
( sobs )

302
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,887
( kisses )

303
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,458
WELL, HELLO.

304
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,763
SOCK MONKEY!
( laughs )

305
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,798
GIVE THAT TO ME!

306
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,234
YES, YES,

307
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,036
YOU SHOULD DO
JUST FINE.

308
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,373
YOU MIGHT EVEN FIT
IN THE TANK.

309
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:22,946
MARY?  MARY,
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW
I KILLED YOUR FISH?

310
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,184
- NO.
- WELL, I DID,

311
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:30,588
BUT I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
COME ON IN!

312
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,689
( giggling )

313
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,860
- WHOSE BABY IS THAT?
- MINE.

314
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,763
WELL, NOT FOR KEEPS.
IT'S REALLY SALLY'S.

315
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,932
I MEAN, SHE GOT IT
FROM MRS. DUBCEK.

316
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,934
LET'S JUST CALL IT
A RENTAL.

317
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,936
COME ON.
PLAY WITH IT.

318
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,873
YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE
THAT CHILD BACK
TO ITS MOTHER.

319
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,707
COME ON.
JUST HOLD HIM.

320
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,611
- I GUARANTEE
YOU'LL LIKE IT.
- I'M SERIOUS.

321
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,580
JUST TAKE HIM FOR
A SPIN AROUND THE BLOCK,
AND THEN WE'LL TALK.

322
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,949
THERE YOU ARE!

323
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,951
THERE<i> YOU</i> ARE.

324
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,722
I'LL DEAL WITH YOU,
AS SOON AS I DEAL
WITH YOU, SWEETIE.

325
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,824
COME ON, HONEY.
COME ON, DICK!

326
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,592
OH...

327
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,001
- Dick:<i> WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?</i>
- I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

328
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,003
- OH, YOU FOUND--
- OH, GOOD.

329
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,339
NOW WE CAN
STOP LOOKING.

330
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,474
I WAS GOING TO BRING
HIM RIGHT BACK.

331
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,043
IF I WERE A GOOD MOTHER,
I'D PUSH YOU DOWN
THOSE STAIRS.

332
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,846
- YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER.
- TECHNICALLY, NO, BUT
THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE.

333
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,682
- HOW?
- I'VE DECIDED
TO KEEP THE BABY.

334
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,384
- WHAT?!
- NO!

335
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,120
- YOU CAN'T.  HE'S NOT YOURS.
- I'M WILLING TO OVERLOOK THAT.

336
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,122
HE NEEDS ME.
HE'S HELPLESS.

337
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:41,725
AND WHAT AM I?!

338
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,328
YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM.
THEY HAVE RULES
ABOUT THESE THINGS.

339
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,163
THEY HAVE LAWS
ABOUT THESE THINGS.

340
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,165
THEY HAVE TV MOVIES
ABOUT THESE THINGS.

341
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,834
- DICK, I'M KEEPING HIM.
THAT'S FINAL.
-<i> ( footsteps, knocking )</i>

342
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,237
- Mrs. Dubcek:
<i>  HELLO! </i> ANYBODY HOME?
- OH, MY GOD!

343
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,239
- I HAVE TO HIDE HIM.
- WHAT?

344
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,908
YOU'RE COMING RIGHT BACK
IN HERE THIS INSTANT!
SALLY!

345
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,144
THANKS SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING
MY GRANDSON.

346
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:04,281
I HAVE BEEN
TO HELL AND BACK.

347
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:07,885
- I WON'T BORE YOU.
- YOU'RE TOO LATE.

348
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,288
WELL, WHERE IS
MY LITTLE FELLA?

349
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,290
MRS. DUBCEK, I'M
SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

350
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,959
- WE'RE HAVING
A PROBLEM WITH OUR OVEN.
- WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM?

351
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,094
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
YOU'RE A LANDLADY.
YOU TELL US.

352
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,963
SHOW MRS. DUBCEK TO THE OVEN.
STUFF HER IN IT IF YOU HAVE TO.

353
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,899
- SALLY!
- IS SHE GONE YET?

354
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,567
- NO.
- THEN WE'RE
NOT COMING OUT.

355
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:26,971
- I ORDER YOU
TO THINK THIS THROUGH.
- OKAY.  HMM, NO!

356
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,906
SALLY, NO--

357
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,509
YOUR OVEN SEEMS FINE.

358
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:35,178
I'LL JUST GET
MY LITTLE BOY,
AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY.

359
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,180
SO SOON,
MRS. DUBCEK?

360
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,650
WE'VE BEEN LIVING
IN THIS ATTIC
FOR ALMOST A YEAR,

361
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,985
AND WE KNOW VERY
LITTLE ABOUT YOU.
SIT DOWN.

362
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:44,321
TELL US EVERYTHING
ABOUT YOURSELF.
LEAVE NOTHING OUT.

363
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,156
- EVERYTHING.  TRAVEL?
- MARRIAGES.

364
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,991
MEDICAL HISTORY.

365
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:51,094
WELL, THERE'S
A DOCTOR IN MEXICO

366
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,997
THAT ONCE SAID
I HAD THE EXACT DNA
OF A LEMUR.

367
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,699
All:
OOH!

368
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,835
THAT'S FASCINATING.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

369
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,537
SALLY!

370
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,405
WELL, HERE HE IS.

371
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,108
YOU HAVE TO GO
HOME NOW, BABY.

372
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:08,012
THERE'S
MY LITTLE MAN.

373
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,449
- BYE, BABY.
- BYE, SALLY.

374
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,151
AW!  COME ON,
SWEETHEART.

375
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,319
OH, WHAT A BIG BOY
YOU ARE.

376
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,256
WERE YOU
A GOOD BOY?
YES!

377
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,327
WELL,

378
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,530
THANK GOD
HE'S GONE.

379
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,634
I'M GOING
TO MISS HIM.

380
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,542
EXCUSE ME.
I'M GOING TO GO TAKE CARE
OF THE OTHER BABY.

381
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,044
WHAT WAS THAT
ALL ABOUT?

382
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:43,581
- I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED HIM.
- I DO.

383
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,450
THEN WHY
DID YOU SUDDENLY
GIVE HIM BACK?

384
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,552
I GUESS I LOVE HIM
ENOUGH TO KNOW

385
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,555
THAT HIS REAL MOM
NEEDS HIM MORE
THAN I DO.

386
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:55,392
YOU KNOW, WHEN I
COULDN'T FIND HIM,
I WENT CRAZY.

387
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,894
I COULDN'T PUT
HIS MOTHER THROUGH THAT.

388
00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:01,265
- WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
ONE OF YOUR OWN?
- THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

389
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,567
WHY DON'T YOU
GO FOR IT?

390
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:06,636
YEAH, RIGHT.
AND LET THIS BODY
GO TO HELL?

391
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,611
<i> ( doorbell rings )</i>

392
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,814
MARY, WE HAVE
TO TALK.

393
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,816
- YOU HAVE A DOG.
- YES.

394
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,486
I WANT EVERYTHING
TO GO BACK TO
THE WAY IT WAS

395
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,889
BEFORE I KILLED
YOUR FISH.

396
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,158
I'M AFRAID THAT'S GOING
TO TAKE SOME TIME.

397
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,894
I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO LOSE SOMETHING
THAT YOU CARE ABOUT,

398
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,696
AND WHAT I DID WAS
VERY, VERY WRONG.

399
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:36,200
- WHY DO YOU HAVE A DOG?
- WELL, I WENT
TO THE PET STORE

400
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:40,137
TO BUY YOU SOME
NEW FISH, AND I SAW
THIS CUTE LITTLE GUY.

401
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,539
OH, DICK, I CAN'T
TAKE CARE OF A DOG.

402
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,910
IF YOU CAN LOVE A FISH,
YOU CAN LOVE A DOG.

403
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,544
WELL, HE IS KIND OF CUTE.

404
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,847
COME HERE, BOY.

405
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:54,618
<i> OH, LOOK AT HIM.</i>
<i> HE LOVES YOU, MARY.</i>

406
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,854
<i> HE'S SO CURIOUS...</i>

407
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,623
( indistinct pleading )

408
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:02,526
DON'T MISS
THIS, MARY.

409
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:05,028
GIVE INTO IT.
HE NEEDS YOU.

410
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:08,599
HE LOVES YOU.
MARY, HE REALLY
LOVES YOU.

411
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,234
DON'T MISS THIS.
LET HIM LOVE
YOU, MARY.

412
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,303
LET HIM LOVE YOU.

413
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:15,806
YES, MARY, THAT'S IT.
( entreaty continues )

414
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:23,981
<i> ( '20s jazz music playing )</i>