1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,536
Announcer:
<i> LAST TIME ON "3RD ROCK</i>
<i> FROM THE SUN"...</i>

2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,939
Dick narrating:
<i> AFTER TRAPPING ME</i>
<i> IN AN INVISIBLE BOX,</i>

3
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,709
<i> MY EVIL REPLACEMENT</i>
<i> CONTINUED HIS DIABOLICAL</i>
<i> PLOT TO RULE THE WORLD.</i>

4
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,710
<i> NOT KNOWING</i>
<i> HIS TRUE IDENTITY,</i>

5
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:15,213
<i> MY BELOVED MARY MADE A DATE</i>
<i> WITH THE SCOUNDREL.</i>

6
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:18,283
<i> BUT JUST AS I</i>
<i> THOUGHT MY PLIGHT</i>
<i> WAS LOST FOREVER,</i>

7
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:22,120
<i> MY ENTRAPMENT WAS</i>
<i> CLEVERLY DISCOVERED</i>
<i> BY MY STELLAR CREW.</i>

8
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,191
OH, YOU GUYS,

9
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,126
THERE'S
AN INVISIBLE BOX.

10
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,363
OW!  WOW,
THAT SMARTS!

11
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,867
- YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK
HIDEOUS TOMORROW.
- YOU THINK?

12
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,302
YEAH.  THERE'S
THIS GIRL I KNEW.
SHE HIT HER NOSE.

13
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,304
- DUSTIN HOFFMAN.
- MR. RANDELL'S
COMING OVER.

14
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:42,507
HELLO!
I'M TRAPPED
IN A BOX HERE.

15
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,509
OKAY.
( grunts )

16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,112
LET'S SEE.
ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO OPEN
ONE OF THESE THINGS?

17
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:51,115
WELL, WE KNOW WE
CAN'T SMASH IT OPEN
WITH OUR HEADS.

18
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,918
- TOMMY, GO GET A HAMMER.
- NOBODY'S GETTING A HAMMER.

19
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,254
- GET A HAMMER.
THAT'S AN ORDER.
- I'M SORRY, SIR,

20
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,524
- BUT YOU CAN'T
GIVE US ORDERS.
- ( stammering )

21
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,994
- OF ALL THE INSOLENT--
- DICK YOU ARE NO LONGER
THE HIGH COMMANDER.

22
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,597
- ( gasps )
- SORRY...

23
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,967
BUT IF WE LET YOU
OUT OF THAT BOX,
WELL, THAT'S MUTINY.

24
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,003
OH, MUTINY<i> SHMUTINY.</i>

25
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,938
BIG, FAT<i> DUTINY.</i>

26
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,408
I'M SICK OF
THE NEW DICK.

27
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,843
- THIS DICK,
HE'S ONE OF US.
- ( thumps )

28
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,013
SO MAYBE HE'S
NOT PERFECT,

29
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,415
MAYBE HIS LEADERSHIP
SKILLS VERGE
ON THE PATHETIC,

30
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,852
AND MAYBE HIS INCOMPETENCE
HAS MADE OUR MISSION
THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF--

31
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,187
- I THINK YOU'VE
MADE YOUR POINT.
- I HAVEN'T MADE MY POINT.

32
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,923
THE POINT IS THAT
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE
FOR THE THREE OF US,

33
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,693
AND IT'S TIME
THE THREE OF US
TAKE A STAND FOR HIM.

34
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,662
SURE, SURE.
THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.

35
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,698
YOU DON'T HAVE
THE RESPONSIBILITY I DO.

36
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,601
IF WE LET HIM OUT
AND THE BIG GIANT HEAD
GETS WIND OF IT,

37
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,604
WHO DO YOU THINK'S
GOING TO TAKE THE FALL?
THE INFORMATION OFFICER?

38
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,406
THE TRANSMITTER?

39
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,509
I DON'T THINK SO.
IT'S GOING TO BE ME,
THE WOMAN.  TYPICAL.

40
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,344
Dick:
<i> SALLY!</i>

41
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,313
( thumps )

42
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,150
THINK OF
ALL WE'VE BEEN
THROUGH TOGETHER.

43
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,386
WHEN BRAD DUMPED YOU,
WHO ORDERED YOU

44
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,623
TO DRINK
YOURSELF SILLY

45
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,325
UNTIL YOU HAD
COMPLETELY DROWNED
YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM?

46
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,494
YOU DID.

47
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:12,797
AND WHEN I RAN OVER
YOUR FOOT WITH THE CAR,

48
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,799
WHO DROVE YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL

49
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,201
THE VERY NEXT DAY?

50
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,872
YOU DID.

51
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,107
AND WHEN YOU WERE HUNGRY
THAT DAY IN THE PARK,

52
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:25,677
WHO STOLE
THAT LITTLE GIRL'S
ICE CREAM CONE

53
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,345
FOR YOU?

54
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,347
- TOMMY DID THAT.
- IT WAS MY IDEA.

55
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,515
- IT WAS.
- TRUE.

56
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,417
SIR, YOU'RE RIGHT.

57
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,586
I CAN'T LET YOU
ROT IN THIS BOX.

58
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,022
I'VE GOT TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.
COME ON, GUYS.

59
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,024
- BLOOD<i> IS</i> THICKER
THAN WATER.
- IT IS?

60
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,026
- I THINK.
- IT'S NOT AS THICK
AS PEANUT BUTTER.

61
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,095
- IT'S A PRETTY
THICK SUBSTANCE.
- CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER?

62
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,763
GET ME
OUT OF HERE!

63
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,764
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

64
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,000
THE LIGHTING IS ROMANTIC,

65
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,938
THE CHAMPAGNE CHILLED.

66
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,208
AND NOW FOR SOME...

67
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,143
EROTIC LITERATURE.

68
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,681
"MAKE SURE
THE 2x4 STUDS

69
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,683
ARE CLEATED
TO THE FLOOR PLATES

70
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,785
BEFORE APPLYING
THE WALLBOARD."

71
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,089
PERFECT.

72
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,058
- Mary:<i> YOO-HOO!</i>
- COME ON UP.

73
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,165
OH!  I LIKE
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THE PLACE.

74
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,635
JUST WAIT
UNTIL YOU SEE

75
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,403
THE BEDROOM.

76
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,174
TONIGHT

77
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,610
IS ABOUT PLEASURE,

78
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,013
A JOURNEY INTO THE...

79
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,515
TABOO.

80
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,517
I WILL LET NOTHING

81
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,519
DESTROY THE MOOD.

82
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,054
<i> ( man singing country tune )</i>

83
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,061
-<i> ( music stops )</i>
- NOTHING.

84
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,296
<i> ( slow jazz music</i>
<i> playing )</i>

85
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,737
- Man:
<i> ♪ Living for you ♪</i>
- ( mouthing words )

86
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:38,643
<i> ♪ Is easy living ♪</i>

87
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,346
<i> ♪ It's easy to live ♪</i>

88
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,617
<i> ♪ When you're in love ♪</i>

89
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,987
<i> ♪ I'm so in love... ♪</i>

90
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,424
( thumping )

91
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,830
I'VE SEEN THESE.

92
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:05,303
- ( Sally screams )
- LIEUTENANT!

93
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,339
AH, CLAP OFF, HUH?

94
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,741
( yelling )

95
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,543
- YOU MADE IT!
- I'M FREE!  I'M FREE!

96
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,613
TOMMY, THANK YOU!

97
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,715
I'M FREE!
FREEDOM!
FREEDOM!

98
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,651
OH!

99
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,754
( sighs )

100
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:26,324
THERE'S SO MUCH
I'VE MISSED--

101
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,926
FRESH AIR, THE SMELL
OF BACON FRYING,

102
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,596
WATCHING TALK SHOWS
WITH HARRY.

103
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,599
I DIDN'T MISS
JERRY SPRINGER'S BIKER
CHICK MAKEOVER, DID I?

104
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,670
- IT WAS TUESDAY.
- OH, DAMN!

105
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,341
SALLY, WHY ARE YOU
WEARING THAT SKIRT?
IT MAKES YOU LOOK FRUMPY.

106
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,843
( gasps )
I KNEW IT!

107
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,046
THAT DICK UPSTAIRS SAID
THIS LOOK WORKED FOR ME.

108
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,884
- I HATE HIM.
- HE CRASHED THE RAMBLER.

109
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,886
HE CHANGED
MY NAME TO TOMMY.

110
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,956
- WHERE DOES
THAT LEAVE YOU?
- HE CALLS ME TOMMY, TOO.

111
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,458
- IS THAT TOMMY
AND THE NUMBER, 2--?
- I DON'T KNOW.

112
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,228
- THE GUY'S
A MAJOR HEAD CASE.
- I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

113
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,064
NO ONE DICTATES
HUMILIATING
AND IRRATIONAL EDICTS

114
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:09,468
TO MY FAMILY.
THAT'S<i> MY</i> JOB.
NOW, COME ON.

115
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,905
OH, OH, OH!

116
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,674
AND NOBODY
BETTER HAVE TOUCHED
MY STRAWBERRIES.

117
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,547
<i> ( jazz music continues )</i>

118
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,117
<i> ♪ When you're</i>
<i> in love ♪</i>

119
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:31,389
<i> ♪ And I'm so in love ♪</i>

120
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,326
<i> ♪ There's nothing</i>
<i> in life ♪</i>

121
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,295
<i> ♪ But you. ♪</i>

122
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,682
( gasps )
MARY.

123
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,984
WHAT'S SHE DOING
WITH HIM?

124
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,520
LOOKS LIKE
HE'S PLUGGING
HER PIE HOLE.

125
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,592
I THINK SHE
LIKES IT, DICK.

126
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,863
- DICK?
- DICK?

127
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,770
- DICK.
- COME ON, DICK.

128
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,839
WHAT DOES SHE
SEE IN HIM?

129
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:58,476
SURE, HE'S GORGEOUS,
BUT... IT'S ALL PART
OF HIS DEPRAVED SCHEME.

130
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,611
HOW DARE HE!
HOW DARE SHE.

131
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,014
DID WHAT WE HAVE
MEAN NOTHING TO HER?

132
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,684
WAIT.
SHE THINKS HE'S ME.

133
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,086
BUT HE'S GOING
TO GET HER BECAUSE
HE'S DECEIVING HER.

134
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,523
AND SHE'LL
BE HIS FOREVER.
IN A WAY, MINE.

135
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,858
BUT SHE LIKES--
BUT HE-- I OUGHTA--

136
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,928
- BUT, SHE, I--
- DICK, HEY, SNAP OUT OF IT!

137
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,899
- YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'VE GOT IT!

138
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,902
- WE'RE MOVING
TO FLORIDA.
- WHAT?!

139
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,370
IT'S WARM ALL THE TIME.
THE LAND IS CHEAP.
AND THE FISHING--

140
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:29,206
BASS AS BIG
AS YOUR ARM.

141
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,442
WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME.

142
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,745
THIS AFTERNOON
WHEN I WAS WITH ALBRIGHT
ARRANGING THIS DATE--

143
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,113
- YOU ARRANGED THIS DATE?
- YEAH, BUT THE POINT IS--

144
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,349
YOU SET THIS UP?
WHAT ARE YOU,
HIS PIMP?

145
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,020
- IF YOU'D LET ME
FINISH, I'LL EXPL--
- YOU OF ALL PEOPLE--

146
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,957
DICK, GET A GRIP
AND LISTEN TO HER
FOR A SECOND.

147
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,726
THE POINT IS THAT
I TRIED TO TALK HER
OUT OF THIS DATE,

148
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,728
BUT SHE WOULDN'T
LISTEN TO ME
BECAUSE--

149
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,497
AND DON'T
ASK ME WHY--

150
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,065
SHE HAS SOME SORT
OF EMOTIONAL
ATTACHMENT TO YOU.

151
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,136
- SHE SAID THAT?
- SHE CARES ABOUT
YOU SO MUCH,

152
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,305
SHE IS UPSTAIRS
ABOUT TO HAVE SEX
WITH ANOTHER MAN.

153
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:07,845
- SHE WOULD DO THAT FOR ME?
- IF YOU DON'T STOP HER.

154
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,748
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT TYRANT HAS
GONE TOO FAR.

155
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,683
- I MUST DEFEAT THAT MAN!
- ALL RIGHT!

156
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,357
I SHOULD HAVE DONE
THAT EARLIER.

157
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,366
OKAY, HERE'S THE PLAN.
TOMMY, HARRY, YOU STAY HERE.

158
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:32,103
SALLY, WATCH MY BACK
WHILE I MAKE A RUN
FOR THE BATHROOM.

159
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,939
- THEN WHAT?
- I USE THE BATHROOM.

160
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,341
I'VE BEEN
STUCK IN A BOX
FOR TWO DAYS.

161
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,212
( Dick growls )

162
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,381
( gasps )

163
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,316
( growls )

164
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,188
HOLD ON.
ENOUGH.

165
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,224
I THINK MY TONGUE
HAS A CHARLEY HORSE.

166
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:56,394
WELL, SADDLE UP.
WE'RE GOING FOR ANOTHER RIDE.

167
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,262
( grunts )

168
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,966
WHAT IS GOING ON?
LAST TIME, YOU
WERE SO FAST.

169
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,002
WHY DON'T WE
JUST GET TO IT?

170
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:09,240
"IT"?
WHAT?

171
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,210
YOU KNOW, IT.

172
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,213
OH, IT.

173
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,683
YOU'LL GET IT,
ALL RIGHT.

174
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,453
YOU'LL GET
ALL OF IT

175
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,789
THAT YOU WANT.

176
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,624
IT IS

177
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,493
ON ITS WAY.

178
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,097
COME ON, DICK.
HE'S TAKING FOREVER.

179
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,602
WHO'S TAKING FOREVER?

180
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,537
TOILET DUCK.

181
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:46,444
HE'S TACKLING
OUR STUBBORN BUILDUP.

182
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,280
LIEUTENANT,
YOU'RE THE WOMAN.
I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT<i> IT.</i>

183
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,282
- IT WHAT?
- YOU KNOW, IT.

184
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,284
OH, IT.
UM...

185
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,553
LET'S GET
SOME PRIVACY.

186
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,989
OKAY, WELL, UM...

187
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,426
UH... IT'S, UH--
( clears throat )

188
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:05,429
IT'S KIND OF INVOLVED.
UM...

189
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,531
( whispering )

190
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,367
YEAH?

191
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,303
EWW.
REALLY?

192
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,472
NO.

193
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,474
HMM.  AND WOMEN
LIKE THAT?

194
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,109
THEY LOVE IT.

195
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,348
AND TO THINK,
ALL THIS TIME I WAS JUST
WALKING AROUND ON THEM.

196
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,452
- MARY!
- DICK.

197
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:30,955
- MARY, MARY, MARY, MARY.
- OH, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

198
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,125
I WANT YOU SO BAD.
YOU'VE GOT TO ESCAPE.

199
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,893
- YOU WANT ME TO TRY
AND GET AWAY?
- YOU MUST.

200
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,830
OH, LET ME GO!
LET ME GO!

201
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,765
HOW'S THAT?

202
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,801
- GET OUT!
- WHAT?

203
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,504
- IF YOU CLEAR THE HEDGE,
YOU'LL BE FINE.
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

204
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,974
NOTHING.  EVERYTHING.
YOU KNOW I'LL NEVER
LEAVE YOU.

205
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:53,244
- DICK.
- I'VE GOT TO GO NOW.
YOU REMEMBER TOMMY.

206
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,014
- TELL HER ABOUT
THE SWIM TEAM.
- SWIM TEAM?

207
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,417
WELL, WELL, WELL,

208
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,754
IF IT ISN'T THE FORMER
HIGH COMMANDER.

209
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,756
IT SEEMS THAT I'VE
UNDERESTIMATED

210
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,158
YOUR... STUPIDITY.

211
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,827
THAT WAS YOUR
FIRST MISTAKE.

212
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,063
HERE'S YOUR SECOND.

213
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,665
- LOOK OVER THERE!
- WHERE?

214
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,003
-<i> ( loud thud )</i>
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
DICK IS ACTING STRANGELY.

215
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,072
-<i> ( grunting, thudding )</i>
-<i> LISTEN, DR. ALBRIGHT.</i>

216
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,308
DICK, HE'S GOT
A LOT OF BAGGAGE.
IT'S AN INTERNAL STRUGGLE.

217
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,710
Dick:<i> STOP!</i>

218
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,880
HA!

219
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,187
-<i> STOP PULLING MY HAIR!</i>
-<i> I'LL PULL IT IF I WANT!</i>

220
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:39,624
THAT POOR THING.
I DIDN'T KNOW.

221
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,460
NO, YOU COULDN'T KNOW,
'CAUSE HE'S BEEN AFRAID.

222
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,763
-<i> ( grunting,</i>
<i>  thudding continue )</i>
- SEE, HE'S BEEN LONELY

223
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,432
FOR SUCH
A LONG TIME.

224
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,835
AND AS THE YEARS
WENT BY,

225
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,405
HE FELL INTO DESPAIR
AND LOST ALL HOPE,

226
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,407
FOR WHAT WOMAN
COULD EVER LEARN

227
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,342
TO LOVE A BEAST?

228
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,550
GIVE ME A SECOND, OKAY?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

229
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:08,820
( grunting )

230
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,488
- WHY AREN'T YOU
HELPING HIM?
- WHICH ONE?

231
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,260
WHEN I PULL HIM UP,
BRAIN HIM WITH THE GNOME.

232
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,195
GOTCHA.

233
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:29,340
- I GOT HIM, DICK!
- NOW HELP ME GET HIM
INTO THE CHAIR.

234
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,781
HERE.
TIE HIM UP GOOD.
TIE HIM DOWN TIGHT.

235
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,585
WHICH ONE IS IT?
TIE HIM UP,
OR TIE HIM DOWN?

236
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,488
BOTH, HARRY.

237
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,023
HURRY!
WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM OUT
OF HERE BEFORE MARY SEES HIM.

238
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,892
- WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO WITH HIM?
- OOH!

239
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,561
LET'S TAKE HIM
TO THE RAMBLER AND PUT
HIM IN THE TRUNK,

240
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,998
LIKE THEY DO
ON THAT SHOW,
"HOMICIDE."

241
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,566
Together:
"HOMICIDE"?

242
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,668
- "LIFE ON THE STREET."
-<i> OH, YEAH.</i>

243
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,239
GREAT IDEA.
TOMMY, HARRY, RUN DOWN
AND CLEAN OUT THE TRUNK.

244
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,174
- YOU GOT IT.
- ALL RIGHT.

245
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,644
WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK, SIR.

246
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,783
DON'T BE LONG...

247
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,719
TOMMY.

248
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,060
DON'T TIRE YOURSELF
OUT, COMMANDER.

249
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:25,129
I WANT YOU TO WITNESS
THE DESTRUCTION

250
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:29,033
MY LITTLE DEVICE
WREAKS ON THE WORLD
YOU LOVE SO WELL.

251
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,535
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO OUR TOASTER?

252
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,774
IT'S NOT A TOASTER.
IT'S AN INCUBATOR.

253
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,843
WHEN I PRESS
THIS BUTTON,

254
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,879
MILLIONS OF SPORES
WILL BE RELEASED
INTO THE ATMOSPHERE,

255
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,115
SPAWNING
A WHOLE NEW RACE,

256
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,817
A RACE
OF GROVELING DRONES.

257
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,086
THEY WILL THINK ALIKE

258
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,921
AND TALK ALIKE.

259
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,123
AT TIMES, THEY'LL
EVEN WALK ALIKE.

260
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,461
AND I WILL BE FATHER
TO THEM ALL.

261
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,498
- WHAT WILL
HAPPEN TO MARY?
- OH, DON'T WORRY.

262
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,867
I'M NOT USING
THIS ON HER.

263
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,836
I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE
OF HER PERSONALLY.

264
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,838
I'M GOING IN THERE

265
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,509
AND PUTTING MY FEET
IN HER PURSE

266
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,510
AGAIN AND AGAIN
AND AGAIN.

267
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,512
YOU'RE INSANE!

268
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,816
AND NOT
GALLAGHER INSANE,
JUST INSANE!

269
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,185
WE CLEANED OUT
THE RAMBLER, DICK.

270
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:25,122
OH!  YOU WERE ABLE
TO USE THE GRAY
DUCT TAPE.

271
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,858
- ( all gasp )
- RUN!

272
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,026
NO!

273
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,595
STAY--
STAY AND WITNESS

274
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,898
MY MOMENT
OF GLORY

275
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,732
AS I IMPREGNATE

276
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,734
THE ENTIRE
POPULATION OF OHIO

277
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:40,338
WITH MY DEMON PROGENY.

278
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,607
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
EVEN THE MEN?

279
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,444
OKAY, NOT THE MEN.

280
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,748
- NOT LITTLE GIRLS?
- NO, NO, NOT THEM.

281
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,351
- WHAT ABOUT
ELDERLY WOMEN?
- I DON'T THINK SO.

282
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:57,588
- WHAT ABOUT WOMEN WHO
ARE ALREADY PREGNANT?
- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!

283
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,127
OKAY, SO, APPARENTLY,
I WON'T BE IMPREGNATING

284
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,430
THE ENTIRE
POPULATION OF OHIO,

285
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,066
BUT ALL FERTILE WOMEN
OF CHILDBEARING AGE

286
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,436
WHO ARE NOT
CURRENTLY PREGNANT,
AND THAT'S A LOT.

287
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,172
WE'RE TALKING
LOTS OF WOMEN HERE

288
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,274
WHO WILL SOON
FIND THEMSELVES

289
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,576
NOW PREGNANT

290
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,812
BY ME.

291
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,813
IT'S AS EASY AS ONE...

292
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,750
( humming )

293
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,352
- TWO...
- ( low vibrating sound )

294
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:33,257
- THREE.
- YES-SU!

295
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,193
YES, THAT
WILL SHOW HIM.

296
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,529
- NOT THAT I CARE...
-<i> ( humming stops )</i>

297
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,731
BUT, UH, SHOW WHO?

298
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,101
YOUR FATHER,
THAT UNFEELING
PURPLE TUBE

299
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,670
WHO GAVE YOU LIFE
BUT WOULDN'T GIVE
YOU LOVE.

300
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,672
YOU KNOW NOTHING
OF MY FATHER.

301
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,508
SO WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SHUT UP?

302
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,578
'CAUSE YOU
DON'T KNOW HIM.

303
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,613
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DEFEND HIM.

304
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,715
YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST.
YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN THE NOW.

305
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:01,486
THIS IS THE '90s,
GIRLFRIEND.

306
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,624
ALL I EVER WANTED
WAS APPROVAL.

307
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,859
IS IT ANY WONDER
I WET MY BED?

308
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,699
I'M WITH YOU.
YOUR FATHER'S GOT
YOU ALL CAUGHT UP

309
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:19,203
IN HIS EMOTIONAL RED TAPE,
AND YOU NEED TO CUT
YOURSELF FREE.

310
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,372
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY

311
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,374
IF I TOLD YOU

312
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,777
THAT YOUR FATHER
WAS HERE TONIGHT?

313
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,544
COME ON OUT!

314
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,480
WHAT?

315
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:35,419
I'M JUST KIDDING.
HE'S NOT REALLY HERE.

316
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:38,856
I THINK YOU NEED TO GO
HOME AND FACE HIM.

317
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,026
LET THE CYCLE
OF PAIN END HERE.

318
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,028
( sobbing )
YOU'RE SO RIGHT!

319
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:47,097
THAT'S IT.
LET IT OUT.

320
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,533
LET IT ALL OUT.

321
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,035
- HEY, GUYS.
- DENNIS, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

322
00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:54,672
- LONG STORY.
- I GOT A WEIRD VIBE
FROM YOU GUYS YESTERDAY.

323
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,508
- IS SOMETHING WRONG?
- WE COULD HAVE USED YOU
ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.

324
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,045
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I GOT MOBBED
BY ALL THESE PEOPLE.

325
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:04,348
- I GOTTA FIND
A BETTER DISGUISE.
- TRY WOMEN'S CLOTHING.

326
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,284
TRIED IT.
DOESN'T WORK.

327
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,454
DENNIS, COULD YOU
DO US A FAVOR?

328
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,423
COULD YOU ESCORT
THAT GUY BACK
TO THE HOME WORLD?

329
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,592
WHY NOT?
I'M GOING
THAT WAY ANYWAY.

330
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,362
- I'VE GOT A PRESENT
FOR THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
- WHAT IS IT?

331
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,798
BIG GIANT NOSE RING.

332
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,800
COME ON.
COME ON.

333
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,802
THANK YOU, ALL.

334
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,104
I FEEL THAT I'VE MADE
A BIG BREAKTHROUGH HERE.

335
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,906
WELL, REMEMBER...

336
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,075
NOBODY'S GOING
TO RESPECT YOU

337
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,011
UNTIL YOU LEARN
TO RESPECT YOURSELF.

338
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,614
BED WETTER.

339
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,917
AND, DENNIS, COULD
YOU DISPOSE OF THIS

340
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,752
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?

341
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,921
- YOU DID IT!
- ( all cheering )

342
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663
OH!

343
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,765
( sighs )
YOU DID IT!

344
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,833
OH, NO, NOT JUST ME,
LIEUTENANT.

345
00:18:56,835 --> 00:19:00,003
- I HAD A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS.
- OH, STOP.

346
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,940
RICKI LAKE,
JERRY SPRINGER,
AND SALLY JESSY.

347
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,177
NOW LISTEN UP,
EVERYONE.

348
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,746
I KNOW THAT IN THE PAST
I WORRIED THAT WE WATCH
TOO MUCH TELEVISION.

349
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,882
WELL, ALL
I CAN SAY IS,

350
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,685
GOD BLESS TELEVISION

351
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,853
AND THE MANY WAYS
IN WHICH TELEVISION

352
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,922
ENRICHES OUR LIVES.

353
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,092
FROM NOW ON,
I ORDER YOU

354
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:23,094
TO WATCH
MORE TELEVISION

355
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,762
THAN EVER BEFORE.

356
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,631
All:
AYE, AYE, SIR!

357
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,366
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
TOMMY, CALL THE HUT
AND GET A PIZZA.

358
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,368
- YES, SIR!
- HARRY, WARM UP
THAT TELEVISION.

359
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,438
- YOU GOT IT.
- AND, SALLY,

360
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,007
GO GET YOURSELF
A DECENT PAIR
OF PANTS.

361
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,010
( sighs loudly )

362
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,078
THANK YOU, SIR.

363
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,626
DR. ALBRIGHT,
THE LAST TIME
WE WERE OUT HERE,

364
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,461
YOU SAID
SOMETHING TO ME.

365
00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:01,231
YOU SAID YOU
CARED ABOUT ME.

366
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,201
- IS THAT STILL TRUE?
- OF COURSE IT'S TRUE.

367
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,638
BECAUSE OVER THE LAST
COUPLE OF DAYS, YOU'VE
SEEN ME AT MY WORST.

368
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,307
THAT'S WHAT BEING
TOGETHER IS ABOUT.

369
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,309
IF WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE A RELATIONSHIP,

370
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,745
I WANT TO HAVE IT
WITH ALL OF YOU,

371
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,114
AND THAT INCLUDES
THE DARK SIDE.

372
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,485
YOU KNOW, I CARE
ABOUT YOU, TOO.

373
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:24,321
YOU'VE MADE THAT
VERY CLEAR.

374
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,490
SO WHAT DO
WE DO NOW?

375
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,559
WELL, IT'S BEEN
A LONG NIGHT,

376
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,761
BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT
YOUR ARM AROUND ME,

377
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,797
AND WE'LL LOOK UP
AT THE STARS?

378
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,301
THE STARS, YES.

379
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:40,905
THEY LOOK
LIKE LOVERS LOCKED
IN A CELESTIAL EMBRACE.

380
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:45,042
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
LOOK AT THOSE TREES?

381
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,712
THE TREES,
THEY LOOK LIKE LOVERS,

382
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,649
THEIR LIMBS EXPLORING
AND FONDLING EACH OTHER.

383
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:56,453
HOW ABOUT WE LOOK
AT THAT COUPLE
IN THE WINDOW?

384
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,557
WOW!  THEY'RE GOING
AT IT LIKE TREES.

385
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:35,860
Sally:
<i> HARRY, IS THERE SOMETHING</i>
<i> DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU?</i>

386
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,029
- ( gasps )
YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT.
- NOPE.

387
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,031
- IS THAT A NEW SHIRT?
- NOPE.

388
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:44,267
- OH, WAIT!
YOU SHAVED OFF YOUR BEARD.
- NOPE.  I NEVER HAD ONE.

389
00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,102
IT'S SOMETHING.

390
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:48,271
YOU GOT
A HAIRCUT.

391
00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:50,207
YOU'RE GETTING WARMER.