1
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,009
Oh, look, Dick,
a fortune teller!

2
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,776
Oh, let's go in.
It'll be fun!

3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,245
Fortune teller.

4
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,580
If this so-called
fortune teller
can see the future,

5
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:16,982
wouldn't she have been
able to predict

6
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,384
the decline of this
neighborhood?

7
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,453
Okay, so you don't
believe in psychics,

8
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,822
but you do believe
in the Loch Ness Monster.

9
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:27,893
I do no believe
in the Loch Ness Monster.

10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,396
I believe Nessie
is a friendly sea serpent

11
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,732
whose frisky demeanor
has been misinterpreted

12
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,467
as monster-like.

13
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:37,769
Okay, thanks!

14
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,105
Mrs. Dubcek.
Oh, hi!

15
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,842
Oh, Rita is
an unbelievable psychic.

16
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,911
Without her, my life
would just be a mess.

17
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,348
Uh-oh, I'm late
for my AA meeting.

18
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,150
Oh, come on.
Let's go in.

19
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,019
Welcome.
It's $15 each.

20
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,089
Well, I guess
that's reasonable.

21
00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,592
The upkeep on crappola
must be pretty high.

22
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,594
Let me go first.

23
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:03,761
Hi.

24
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,266
You've been sad recently.

25
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,301
Kind of.

26
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,171
Generalization...
Madam Ripoffski.

27
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,671
Dick, you're spoiling it.

28
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,706
Oh, excuse me.

29
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,243
Please continue,
Mistress Fraudini.

30
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,145
It's okay.

31
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,114
Some people have
scientific minds

32
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,916
and it's hard for them
to process psychic phenomena.

33
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:28,920
[scoffing]
Oh, please.
Scientific--

34
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,092
How did you know
I was a scientist?

35
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,760
How do you think?

36
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,196
I can see that
you and your friend

37
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,632
are from very
different worlds.

38
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,237
Mary, I think
we should go now.

39
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,072
One of these days,
he's gonna up and leave you.

40
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,073
Stop it!

41
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,674
And go back to wherever
he came from.

42
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,376
Oh, come on, Mary.
Up! Up! Up!

43
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,777
Time to leave.
Dick, take it easy!

44
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:53,845
Let's get out of here.

45
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:56,047
Thank you so much
for ruining my life,

46
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,316
you heartless,
evil prophetess!

47
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,988
Are there any mutual funds
that you especially--

48
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,625
Never mind,
you bitch!

49
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,732
Guys! Guys!

50
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,034
I just had the most
disturbing experience.

51
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,971
Mary dragged me to a psychic
down on Water Street

52
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,440
who predicted that
we'd be leaving the planet!

53
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,943
Whoa, wait a second.
A psychic?

54
00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,544
Those people are for real?

55
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:02,613
Oh, this one is.
She is good.

56
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,216
We're not leaving
the planet, are we, Dick?

57
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,685
We could be called away
at any second.

58
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,588
And I can't bear the thought
of Mary growing old alone.

59
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,056
I wouldn't worry, Dick.

60
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:14,125
Mary's not one to keep
her panties cool for too long.

61
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,529
You're right.
She is extremely resilient.

62
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,531
Mm, she's a slut.

63
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,602
But she could spend
years searching

64
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,171
and attract only losers.

65
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,440
Well, what can you do?
You got no control.

66
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,509
Then I'll take control.

67
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:33,478
I will dedicate my life
to finding my successor.

68
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,812
[laughs]
I don't know, Dick.

69
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,748
If I were Mary,
I wouldn't want you

70
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,350
to find me
a new boyfriend.

71
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,684
But I must.

72
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,453
Anyone who knows
Dick Solomon knows

73
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,856
that he is completely
selfless.

74
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,191
And when I find
my worthy replacement,

75
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:51,329
and I shall, he will wait
patiently in the wings.

76
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,866
And after I've gone,
he will love Mary

77
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,635
as only I know how.

78
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,537
Aw, that's sweet.

79
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,939
Thank you, Harry.

80
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,108
No, no. I mean this
cinnamon sparkle syrup.

81
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,343
It's sweet.

82
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,612
Aw, poor Dick.

83
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,248
That psychic really
messed with his head.

84
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,684
Wait a second, Harry.

85
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,955
If that psychic knows
we're leaving the planet,

86
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,758
then she knows
we're aliens.

87
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,826
And if she knows
that we're aliens,

88
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,697
she knows that
I'm an alien.

89
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,699
All right, we gotta
check her out.

90
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,601
And if she's for real,
we have to kill her

91
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,935
for security reasons.

92
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,571
And what if she's
not real?

93
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:36,507
Well, we kill her
for sport.

94
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,380
Nina?

95
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:43,548
Nina?

96
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,917
Oh, hi, gorgeous.
Listen, I'm, uh--

97
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,953
I'm working on a project
and I need your help.

98
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,421
Sit down, dear.

99
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,124
Nina...
how does a lonely,

100
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:56,528
single woman like you
find companionship?

101
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,830
I'm not lonely,
Dr. Solomon.

102
00:04:58,899 --> 00:04:59,964
I have a boyfriend.

103
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:03,001
Sure you do.
Sure you do.

104
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,271
Let's pretend that
you didn't, shall we?

105
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,806
How do you go about
finding a lover?

106
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:12,711
If I had to,
I'd try a church group,

107
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,613
the personal ads,
or maybe even the internet.

108
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,414
And yet, with all
these bright ideas,

109
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,818
you still remain
miserable and alone.

110
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:20,818
It's such a pity.

111
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,387
I have a boyfriend!

112
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,788
You're the only reason
I'm miserable!

113
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,490
Oh, but--

114
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,392
Nina...
you don't understand.

115
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,461
Almost engaged.

116
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,396
So, have you also
struck out at singles bars?

117
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:35,299
Even if I didn't have
a boyfriend, and I do,

118
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,268
hanging out with a bunch
of horny drunk guys

119
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,637
has never been my scene.

120
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,439
So, if you've never tried it,
it just might work!

121
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,274
Thank you so much.

122
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,143
Oh, and,
uh, Nina...

123
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,445
if I were you, I wouldn't
rule out the bars.

124
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,513
Those drunken horny guys
might just overlook

125
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,449
that sour personality
of yours.

126
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,487
I have a boyfriend!

127
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:05,863
Oh, no,
the door's locked.

128
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:09,067
She knew
we were coming.

129
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,702
She is for real!

130
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:11,803
Relax, Harry.

131
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,237
Let's not jump
to any conclusions.

132
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,707
Look, there's a note
on the door.

133
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,475
Be back at 12:30.

134
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,911
See, 12:40 now.

135
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,613
She didn't even know
she'd be late.

136
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,950
I think your watch
is fast.

137
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,284
Oh, yeah.
That's right.

138
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,586
I set it ten minutes fast
'cause I always found

139
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:29,754
that I was always--

140
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:30,822
Running late.

141
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:37,229
Yeah.
Uh, that's right.

142
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,763
Well, we better
get going.

143
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,032
Um, our bus is gonna
pick us up at the, uh--

144
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,801
Bus stop.

145
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,104
Uh-huh.

146
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,539
Harry, do you have
any of those--

147
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,539
[Rita]
Tokens?

148
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,242
Oh, my God!

149
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,876
[screaming]

150
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,248
Dick, why did you
bring me here?

151
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,383
Everyone here
is half my age

152
00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,751
and twice
as good-looking.

153
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,854
Mary, you could jump
back into this game
in a second.

154
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,123
You're tough competition
for all these women.

155
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,324
Thank you, Dick.

156
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,725
You've been
around the block

157
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,961
more than any of them
and they know it.

158
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,296
Not to mention
you could drink

159
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:14,031
most of these men
under the table.

160
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,499
You are not
a loser.

161
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,701
Loser?
I never said--

162
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,136
Mary, repeat after me.

163
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:19,270
"I am not a beast."

164
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,005
Oh, Dick!

165
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,640
I'll have you know
a lot of men

166
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,408
find me very attractive.

167
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:26,211
In fact, there's a guy
over there

168
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,378
who's been
checking me out.

169
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,947
What? Where?

170
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,715
Oh, good eye.
Stay here.

171
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,116
Look pretty.
I'll be right back.

172
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:35,352
Oh, Dick, please don't
start a fight with that guy!

173
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:36,988
Excuse me.

174
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,457
Uh, you seem like
an intelligent,

175
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,892
fairly well groomed
young man.

176
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,961
Oh, and I see
you work out.

177
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,729
Dude, don't touch me.

178
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:52,370
Hey, Lexus key chain.
What are you drivin'?

179
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,571
I'm talkin' here.

180
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,507
What are you wasting
your time with her for?

181
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:56,942
You see
that hot blond

182
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,276
sitting on
a pina colada?

183
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,713
Well, right behind her

184
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,681
is an experienced
professional woman

185
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,083
who could use
a man like you.

186
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,118
So what do ya say?
You wanna party?

187
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,658
Excuse me, you work
with that guy?

188
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,893
Yes, I work
with Dick. Why?

189
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,395
Let's not cause
a scene.

190
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,763
We don't want
your kind here.

191
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,832
Find your Johns
in some other bar.

192
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:21,999
What?

193
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,536
Hey, hey...
what's going on here?

194
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:25,970
Dick, they think
I'm a hooker!

195
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,539
A hooker?

196
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,973
Yeah, Mary!

197
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,042
You still
got it, baby!

198
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,847
Okay, okay, okay,
let's focus here.

199
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:41,152
How do you kill somebody
who can predict the future?

200
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,353
We'll have to do it--

201
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,290
Unpredictably.

202
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,225
Right.
Like an accident.

203
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,828
But how do you plan
an accident?

204
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,062
No, no, no.
You can't.

205
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,797
But you can
accidentally plan

206
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,598
to accidentally
kill somebody.

207
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,301
By accident.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

208
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,070
Like she could be
allergic to shellfish

209
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:03,507
and you accidentally
run her over with your car.

210
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,113
That's a good plan.
Eh.

211
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,747
Oh, no! It's not
gonna work, though.

212
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,182
I mean, if we
already planned it,

213
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,584
it's no longer
an accidental plan.

214
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,853
Well, that's too bad,
'cause it was a good one.

215
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,255
Oh! I got
a great one!

216
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,190
No! Shut up, Harry!
Don't say it!

217
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,359
The only way
this plan will work

218
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,760
is if I don't
know about it

219
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,196
until the last
possible second.

220
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,033
Of course.

221
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,302
It's perfect.

222
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:35,807
So then, I guess
I'll see you around.

223
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:36,975
Sure.
Yeah.

224
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,476
See you around.
Yeah.

225
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:41,012
Or not.
Or not. Yeah.

226
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,118
Hello,
Rutherford Hardware?

227
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,287
Yes, you have an ad here
for something called

228
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:50,655
a "stud finder".

229
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,157
Does this thing--

230
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,860
Does this thing
really work?

231
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,397
Yeah, good,
because I need a man who--

232
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,732
Hello? Hello?

233
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,967
Idiot!

234
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,969
Dr. Solomon,
weren't you already warned

235
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,971
about skipping class
to make phony phone calls?

236
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,206
I don't have time
to teach class today.

237
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,810
Well, when this kind
of "emergency" happens,

238
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,111
you should let me know.

239
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,245
There's
a visiting lecturer

240
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,680
who's dying
to substitute for you.

241
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,515
You know someone
who can replace me?

242
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,350
Yeah. His name's
Gary Hemmings.

243
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:23,655
Gary... Don't like it,
but a name can change.

244
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,222
So, tell me
about this Gary.

245
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,692
Is he quick-witted,
well-tempered, virile?

246
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,227
Uh, maybe I should
just go get him.

247
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,831
Does he like
to see snowflakes

248
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:35,900
fall on the face
of his beloved?

249
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,303
Will he wipe away
the sleep from her eyes,

250
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,839
only to be blinded
by the sunshine

251
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,474
of her flawless
complexion?

252
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,509
Does he have just
the tiniest of crushes

253
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,545
on Harrison Ford?

254
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,183
Dr. Solomon?

255
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,419
Uh, Nina said
you wanted to see me.

256
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,086
It's like looking
into a mirror.

257
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,259
My God,
you're gorgeous!

258
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,434
Gary, I've lived
in Rutherford

259
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,768
for five years now.

260
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:15,573
I am arguably the most
celebrated professor
in Pendleton

261
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,942
and I am dating
a major hottie.

262
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,745
Does this sound
like a life

263
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,380
that Gary Hemmings
could lead?

264
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,048
Well, yes, professor.

265
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,683
I've always wanted
to be where you are.

266
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:29,954
Good, because, Gary,
I could be called away

267
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:30,955
at any moment.

268
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,524
You need not know why.

269
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,894
And when that happens,
I'll need the right man

270
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,295
to step in
and take my place.

271
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,797
Are you offering me
a fulltime position?

272
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,200
Potentially.

273
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,635
It all depends on how
you and Mary hit it off.

274
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,870
Mary?

275
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,272
I had no idea Dr. Albright
was so influential.

276
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,541
Hemmings, get your head
into the game.

277
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,610
If Mary doesn't like you,
none of this will work.

278
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,279
Well, I certainly hope
she likes me.

279
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,214
After all, there's plenty
of solid experience

280
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,315
under my belt.

281
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,751
And that's exactly
where it will stay

282
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,087
until I'm gone,
all right?

283
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:08,960
Until then, I suggest
you focus on flowers,

284
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,929
chocolates, and ceramic
fiddle-playing cats.

285
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:16,034
Are you absolutely certain
that's appropriate?

286
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,169
Okay, I can see
I'm wasting my time here.

287
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,536
Good day, sir.
No, no, no, no.

288
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:20,538
I can do that.

289
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,906
I can play
the game, sir.

290
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,541
Oh, it's no game.

291
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,010
You'll see that tonight
when the three of us dine

292
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,912
and let the pieces
fall where they may.

293
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,314
Okay, that's great.

294
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,348
Good.

295
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,583
Oh, and, Gary?
Yes, sir?

296
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,886
Be a lamb and fill this up
for me, will you?

297
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,721
You can't be
too careful nowadays.

298
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,260
Thanks for waiting.

299
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,761
I can't find
my tarot cards.

300
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,996
Gimme your hand.

301
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:50,935
Okay, but a guy walkin' around
with a bottle of honey...

302
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,270
I sure hope that
no accidents happen!

303
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,672
What the--

304
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,907
Oh!
[screams]

305
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,243
Oh, I'm so sorry!
I'm such a klutz!

306
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,845
What are you doing?

307
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,046
Now, Sally!

308
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,547
Okay. What?

309
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:07,018
Release the killer bees!

310
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,022
I don't have
any killer bees.

311
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,590
I knew it.

312
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,658
I kinda thought
that was gonna happen.

313
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,594
Well, you should have
told me the plan, man!

314
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,896
Well, you told me
not to!

315
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:25,002
Oh, there she is.

316
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,871
Yeah. Isn't she
a vision?

317
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,372
She's a lovely woman, sir.

318
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,407
She's a fox.

319
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,408
Hi, Dick.

320
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,744
Oh, Mary.

321
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,746
And Dick's friend,
who's joining us

322
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,148
on our
romantic date.

323
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,451
Mary Albright,
Gary Hemmings,

324
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,686
a brilliant physicist.

325
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,987
I've taken him
under my wing

326
00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,755
and I'm grooming him

327
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,959
for his most important
challenge of all.

328
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,493
Nice to finally
meet you, Dr. Albright.

329
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,228
Oh, by all means,
call her "Mary."

330
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,964
Oh, or "Puddin' Nose."

331
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,535
Or Dr. Albright.

332
00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,004
Gary, are you gonna give us
one of your trademark smiles?

333
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,506
Please. sir,
you're embarrassing me now.

334
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,876
Come on,
it's for Mary.

335
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,479
[cooing]
Stop! Stop!

336
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,680
Okay!
Ha! There it is!

337
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,583
Dick!

338
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:14,552
So, um, Dr. Albright,
how long have you been

339
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,552
an anthropologist?

340
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,421
Oh, yeah...
Oh, well...

341
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,823
What an interesting
question.

342
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,726
Gary, could I talk
to you for just--

343
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,027
Man, what
are you doing?

344
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,295
You're such a lox!

345
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,697
I don't know
what you want!

346
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:28,966
What every woman wants:
sparkle!

347
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,036
Dick, they're playing
our song.

348
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,105
Well, it could be
Gary's song too, Mary.

349
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,773
What is he doing here?

350
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:38,309
He's, uh,
dancing with you!

351
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,279
Gary, take over.
I'm a little winded.

352
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,750
Don't mind Dick.
He's, um--

353
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:46,984
Eccentric.
Yeah.

354
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,953
Most brilliant
people are.

355
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,188
You're a bit eccentric
yourself, Dr. Albright.

356
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,356
Really?

357
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,325
Look at them.

358
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,961
My girlfriend
and her future lover.

359
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,395
Aren't they beautiful?

360
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,766
It's a perfect match.

361
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:04,669
You've done well,
Dick Solomon.

362
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,437
Too well.

363
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,777
Hi. I'm Sally
and this is Harry.

364
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,011
We'd like to get
a reading.

365
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,481
I'm not telling you
your futures!

366
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,949
I should have
you two arrested!

367
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,650
Please, we're not
here for us.

368
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,519
We wanna know
your future.

369
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,986
My future?

370
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,355
Well, sure!

371
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,490
I mean, our lives
are so boring,

372
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,060
but we'd kill
to hear yours.

373
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:33,197
My customers only ask
about their problems.

374
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,665
Nobody cares about mine.

375
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,167
[in unison]
Aw, we care.

376
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,872
Aw, bless your hearts!
[laughing]

377
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:46,511
I see a sad little girl
from a small farm--

378
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:47,878
Blah, blah, blah.

379
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,879
How does it all end?

380
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,980
Excuse me?

381
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,250
Well, just skip the middle
and get to the end.

382
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,384
How you ya die?

383
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,819
Die?
Yeah.

384
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:56,754
Well...

385
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,722
I've always had the clear
vision of myself dying

386
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,926
during a passionate night
of lovemaking.

387
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,962
Not a bad way
to die, huh?

388
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,231
Not at all!
[laughing]

389
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,467
But a horrible way
to kill.

390
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,701
Right, Harry?

391
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,508
All right.

392
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,681
It's gonna be tricky.

393
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,786
I mean, who knows what lies
beneath that muumuu.

394
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:29,820
[foot steps]

395
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,588
Dick!

396
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,924
Well, what are you two
doing here?

397
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,427
Dick, this psychic
is dangerous to the mission.

398
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,696
Harry is moments away
from making love to her...

399
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:43,000
to death.

400
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:46,070
Good plan. But first,
I have to talk to her.

401
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,070
Oopt, upt, upt.

402
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,673
There will be
plenty of time for talk

403
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,041
during my two-and-a-half
hours of foreplay.

404
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,243
No, no.

405
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,645
I command you to suspend
this eroticide

406
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,313
until I have
spoken to Rita.

407
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,215
I have to find out when
we're leaving this planet.

408
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,550
Why?

409
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,952
I finally found the perfect
replacement for myself.

410
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:02,953
Well, that's great!

411
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,855
It is great...
for Mary.

412
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,824
But I planned
this selfless act,

413
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,593
I had no idea
how it would affect me!

414
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,329
It's heartbreaking.

415
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:14,298
I've got to find out
how much time I have left
with my beloved.

416
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,867
Well, what would
make you happy, Dick?

417
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,334
Ten years?

418
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,536
That quick?
Ten short years?
Is that what you think?

419
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,737
Well, it could be
ten months.

420
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,340
Ten tiny months?

421
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,707
I'm as good
as gone already!

422
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,110
Well, Dick, you found
your replacement.

423
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,945
Face it; from now on,
you're just a temp.

424
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,916
You're right.

425
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:35,520
The only thing standing
between Mary and true love
is me.

426
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,321
Oh, if only I'd
seen this coming!

427
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,924
Damn you, Rita!

428
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:43,161
I wanna
kill you myself!

429
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,496
But how do you kill someone
who can predict the future?

430
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,099
Mm, I gotcha covered.

431
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,608
Dr. Solomon?
You wanted to see me?

432
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,211
Oh, yes, Gary.
Please sit down.

433
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,046
Thank you.

434
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,016
Look, there's no need
to delay the inevitable, Gary,

435
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,519
my son, my brother,
my protege...

436
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,753
me.

437
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,989
You mean,
I've got the job?

438
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,090
When do I start, sir?

439
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:15,259
Well, Mary's last class
starts at 3:00,

440
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,895
so if you can coax her
to a happy hour at 5:00,

441
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:20,097
you should be
in the sack by 7:00.

442
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:23,834
What?

443
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:24,835
Wait a minute.

444
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,571
I'm not sleeping
with Dr. Albright

445
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,005
just to get the job.

446
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,773
What do you mean?

447
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,477
Sleeping with Mary
is the job!

448
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,947
Well, part of it anyway.
She likes to shop, too.

449
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,115
I just wanna
teach physics.

450
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,483
That's all
I've ever wanted.

451
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,785
We had a deal!

452
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:42,119
Hey, guys!

453
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,288
Chicken Jerusalem
in the cafeteria!

454
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:48,692
Dr. Albright, you may be
a handsome woman

455
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,361
and I would certainly
love a position

456
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:51,495
here at the university,

457
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,899
but I am not going
to sleep with you!

458
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,134
Good-bye!

459
00:18:57,203 --> 00:19:00,338
Okay, that's fair.

460
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:03,073
Dick...

461
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,575
guess what I wanna know.

462
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,411
[groans]

463
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,012
They call it
"Chicken Jerusalem"

464
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,815
because they make it
with Jerusalem artichokes.

465
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:12,883
Anyway.

466
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,552
Why doesn't Gary
wanna sleep with me?

467
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:16,920
Oh, because he's an idiot.

468
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,722
Now I don't know
what's gonna become of you

469
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:19,991
when I'm gone.

470
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,893
Oh, my God, Dick.
You're not dying, are you?

471
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,227
No, I'm not.
But what if I did?

472
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:25,463
That psychic scared me.

473
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,097
She made me think
about the future.

474
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,867
What would happen to you
if I weren't around anymore?

475
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,435
I thought Gary
could replace me,

476
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,437
but now I don't
wanna be replaced!

477
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:37,074
You're not saying that you were
trying to fix Gary and me up?

478
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,509
Yes!

479
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:42,513
It was the hardest thing
I ever had to do!

480
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,880
Listen, you.

481
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,516
That psychic
didn't know anything.

482
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,851
You have many,
many years ahead of you,

483
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,154
and I will be
right by your side.

484
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,223
And after that,
I don't want anybody else.

485
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,692
Mary...

486
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,127
you'd rather be alone?

487
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,863
After you,
I'm done.

488
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:02,533
Of course you are.

489
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,502
How could I expect you to ever
settle for anyone else

490
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:09,073
after being
with someone like me?

491
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,375
I've ruined you.

492
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,546
More than you'll
ever know.

493
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,818
After so long
on this planet,

494
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,721
I've finally learned
my most important lesson
of all.

495
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,222
What's that?

496
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:29,460
That it's better to have
loved Dick and lost Dick

497
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,796
than never to have
had Dick at all.

498
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:35,932
Still, I'll pass.

499
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,735
By the way,
did you take care

500
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,002
of that security risk?

501
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,571
I'm on top of it.

502
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:41,972
Oh, Harry,
mission accomplished?

503
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,139
No, not yet.

504
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:44,808
I just came down
to get some water.

505
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,877
What is taking
so long?

506
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:47,945
I don't know!

507
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,314
She just keeps
gettin' stronger!

508
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:52,082
Look, now just
remember, Harry,

509
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,251
the entire mission
is counting on you,

510
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,486
so keep it up!

511
00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:01,058
Easier said
than done.

512
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,800
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA