1
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:07,239
Well, yes!
Absolutely!
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,407
Oh, I'm so
excited!
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,876
Thank you so much!
4
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:14,078
Dick? Do you know
who that was?
5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,114
You've been on the phone
for 10 minutes, Mary.
6
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,882
You'd think you'd know
who you were talking to.
7
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,587
It was Dr. Powell,
the archeologist!
8
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,356
He's leading a dig tomorrow
at the Pawchuk Indian mounds,
9
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,159
and he asked me to come!
10
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,195
You're going on an actual
archeological dig?
That sounds so exciting!
11
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,898
It sure does!
Can I have tomorrow off?
12
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:33,899
No.
13
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,436
We are going to have
the best time together.
14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,540
Whoa-- uh, Dick, I don't
think I'm allowed to bring
a guest.
15
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:45,310
Of course you are!
This is a free country!
16
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,512
That's exactly what
the Indians fought for!
17
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,682
Gee-- I don't think
I could--
18
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,184
Oh, Mary, please.
19
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,919
For years, you've
been talking about
20
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:57,155
all the digs you've
been on, and all
the stuff you've found.
21
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,557
And for once in my life,
I wanna see it,
22
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,927
instead of being bored
to tears, hearing about it.
23
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:04,963
Well, it would be nice
24
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,799
to share the thing
I love the most with...
25
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,167
the person I love
the most.
26
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,803
Oh, terrific!
27
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,137
I'm going to the mall
right now,
28
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,438
to buy some field boots.
29
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,407
Can I borrow your Visa card?
No!
30
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,977
I hope they take
Discover.
No!
31
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,980
♪♪ [rock 'n' roll]
32
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,551
Okay, thanks.
Have a good time.
33
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,186
You guys ready
to go?
34
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,089
Hey! What's with
all the cars?
35
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,492
The Rutherford
Garlic Festival
is this weekend.
36
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,194
Dubcek's chargin' people
$20 to park on her lawn.
37
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,429
Whoa. She charged me
way more than that
38
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,631
when I parked
on her lawn.
39
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,267
You didn't park
on her lawn.
40
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,401
You parked on
her foot.
41
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,071
And she didn't charge you.
She sued you.
42
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,374
Excuse me.
43
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:23,841
We've been driving
around for hours.
44
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,677
Do you know of any
hotels that have rooms?
45
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,346
I believe that all
hotels have rooms.
46
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,917
Town shouldn't put
on a garlic festival
47
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,152
if they don't have
adequate lodging.
48
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,888
[huffs]
49
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,222
Hey.
50
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,324
Dick's gone.
We could rent out his bed.
51
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,326
Whoa, wait a second.
52
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,827
If we're gonna go that route,
53
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,862
why not rent out
the whole room?
54
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,802
Ah, well.
This is it.
55
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,638
Umm, bedroom's
right through there.
56
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,008
And, uh...40 bucks
a night, it's yours.
57
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,611
Oh. It's really
eclectic.
58
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,512
I like how nothing
matches.
59
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,783
What doesn't match?
60
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:05,951
I don't know.
61
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,653
When do you
have breakfast?
62
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,355
Uh... usually about
10 minutes after I wake up.
63
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,425
Oh, oh, oh.
64
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,427
Is it possible
to get reservations
65
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,362
for dinner tonight
at Lo'Berge.
66
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,964
I guess.
67
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,533
I mean, we have a phone.
68
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,569
Anything's possible.
69
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,137
This is a terrific deal.
70
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,872
How come you're not
in the Crown Travel Guide?
71
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,508
Trown travel guide?
72
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:32,310
Oh, yeah! If they give
your place four stars,
73
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,512
you'd be booked solid.
74
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:34,946
How do you get four stars?
75
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,149
Uh...great service.
Uh-huh.
76
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,150
Make a lot of money.
77
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,589
Welcome to the Inn
at Solomon House.
78
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,759
We are here
to service you.
79
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,264
Uh, Dr. Albright.
80
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,333
Oh, Dr. Powell.
81
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,736
Oh, thank you so much
for inviting me.
82
00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,772
I guess my knowledge of
the Pawchuk Indians
had a lot to do with it.
83
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:05,476
Yes. That and the fact that
Dr. Davis went into labor.
84
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:09,013
I just heard you took
the liberty of bringing
your boyfriend?
85
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,949
Oh, he's not just
my boyfriend.
86
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,718
Dr. Solomon is a professor
of physics,
87
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,620
and a brilliant educator.
He'll be a tremendous asset.
88
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,568
I just whipped a twig
off a birch tree.
89
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,838
Now let's go find
ourselves a mummy!
90
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,106
[whips snaps]
91
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,546
Was that an icebreaker
or what?
92
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,648
[laughing]
93
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,816
What.
94
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,986
What are you doing?
You look like a fool!
95
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:51,155
Here, Mary. Put this
apple on your head.
96
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,325
There's a good chance I'll
be able to whip it off.
Oh...
97
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,594
Gimme the whip.
What?
98
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,295
Give me the whip.
99
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,199
Give me the machete.
100
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,003
I'm not giving you
the treasure map.
101
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:06,471
Gimme the treasure map.
102
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,641
Now don't show it
to anybody.
103
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,809
I'm serious.
104
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,245
Come here, Dick.
105
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,015
What?
Come here.
106
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,651
This is your square foot,
right here.
Mm-hm.
107
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,486
Okay. Now take the trowel,
108
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,854
and the sable brush,
109
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,322
and the air bulb.
110
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:27,458
And gingerly dust
away the sediment,
111
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,627
one thin layer at a time.
112
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,996
Oh, come on. Let me use
some of my dynamite.
113
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,999
A couple of M-80's,
and we'll be picking
114
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,068
sacred Pawchuk crap
out of our hair.
115
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,173
This is how we do it.
116
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,174
Great.
117
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:47,179
Why don't I just take a nap,
and see if anything sticks
to my back?
118
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,152
Ana. Hello to you, too.
119
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,654
Listen. I have some
guests, who are
120
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,825
dying to take a tour
of the mayor's residence.
121
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,462
Excuse me?
122
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,865
Look, I voted
for your husband.
123
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,134
So the least you could do
124
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,736
is let some strangers
poke around your condo.
125
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,406
Oh, really?
126
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,641
Well, the same to you,
Mrs. McCheese!
127
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,745
Bad news.
128
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,613
She's recovering
from lipo.
129
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:25,984
Harry.
130
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,553
Did you change the sheets
in the guest room?
Oh.
131
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,356
Uh, better. I put on
some cologne and rolled
around on 'em.
132
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,759
Just change them, okay?
133
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,962
And I'm gonna need you
to make some radish flowers
134
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,197
for tonight crudités.
[fingers snapping]
Get to it.
135
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,532
Why?
136
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,833
What's with the snapping?
137
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,368
It's the international
sign for "Get to it".
138
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,138
Either snap or say
"Get to it."
139
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,506
You don't have
to do both.
140
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,508
[finger snaps]
141
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,643
What?
142
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,816
Get...
[both] ...to it!
143
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:58,883
Harry?
144
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,420
I just noticed that
the sand ashtray
145
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,056
does not have an impression
of our hotel's crest.
146
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,461
Mm-- what's our
hotel's crest?
147
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:13,664
A giant "S" with
a deadly python!
148
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,200
[hisses]
149
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,274
Dick, do you realize
150
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:27,211
that hundreds of years ago,
Indians raised families here,
151
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,115
and hunted here,
and built villages here?
152
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:32,284
Well, they had the good
sense to die here.
153
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,687
I wish I was with 'em.
154
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,123
I'm not here for 5 hours,
155
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,325
and all I've found
is this long pointy rock.
156
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,396
Wait a minute.
Let me see that.
157
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,101
This isn't a rock.
This is a spear head!
158
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,802
It is?
Are you sure?
159
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,771
I'm telling you this
is over 400 years old!
160
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,906
Look at those edges!
161
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,176
Oh, my God!
It is a spear head.
162
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,878
If you can't see that,
Mary, you're a blind fool!
163
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,582
Well, congratulations!
164
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,284
Give me my spearhead!
You'll ruin the edges!
165
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,053
Oh, this is the best!
166
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,054
F-f-f-fuh...
167
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,889
Foop! Foop!
168
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,124
[moans with excitement]
169
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:19,130
Archeology?
Your prodigal son
has come home.
170
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,431
Foo foo foo foo foo!
171
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:26,738
Here ya go, ma'am!
Hot apple cider.
172
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,706
Oh, thank you.
173
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,411
Oh! It's-- it's--
it's a bit spicy.
Mm.
174
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,013
No. It's perfect.
175
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,583
I think it's too spicy.
176
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,852
No, I think you
should just drink it.
177
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,554
Uh, Mrs. Russell.
Let me get you
178
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,956
another cup of cider
that's more to your liking.
179
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,258
Harry? Kitchen.
180
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,726
You're crazy.
181
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,197
What was that out there?
182
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:54,599
I know. That lady doesn't
know her ass from her
apple cider.
183
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,469
And you don't know anything
about the hotel business.
184
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,372
What the customer wants,
the customer gets.
185
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,273
Yeah. Sally gets them
reservations,
186
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,574
and you get 'em flower
arrangements,
187
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,943
and I get to get 'em
toilet paper.
188
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,078
It's just not fair!
189
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,446
I don't care what's fair!
190
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:11,216
What I care about is four stars
in the Crown Travel Guide!
191
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,317
Well, I think that's bogus!
192
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,651
Then I think you're fired!
193
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,353
You can't fire me!
I quit!
194
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,855
All right. Then
understand this.
195
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,824
If you quit, you're fired.
196
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,495
I quit!
You're fired!
197
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,299
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Where did that come
from?
198
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,972
Who held this magnificent
pointy stone?
199
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,509
Some mighty warrior?
200
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,679
Or perhaps a tiny
Pawchuk brave,
whose mother said,
201
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,816
"Be careful, Freddy.
You'll put an eye out
with that thing."
202
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,155
You know, you're not
even supposed to have
that in here.
203
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,623
All artifacts are supposed
to be inventoried
204
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,158
and kept in the supply tent.
205
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,663
I bet he was fat.
206
00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,931
A big fat guy,
207
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:02,133
walking around,
jabbing at bison
208
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,234
like he owned the place.
209
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,337
Or maybe he was
a little girl.
210
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,139
Would you stop?
211
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,507
What's the matter
with you?
212
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,608
Nothing.
213
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,078
I mean, it's-- it's
not that big a deal.
214
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,780
People find artifacts
every day.
215
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,715
Well, maybe it's not
that big a deal to you.
216
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,350
You've found hundreds
of artifacts.
217
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,319
But don't you remember
what it felt like when
you found your first one?
218
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,489
I don't wanna talk about it.
219
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,224
But tell me
about it, Mary.
220
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,093
What was it like?
Tell me.
221
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,762
C'mon. Tell me...
222
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:35,133
I've never found a single
artifact in my whole damn life!
223
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,801
What?
224
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,969
Now you know.
225
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,103
Are you happy?
226
00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:41,539
Well, what about all those
objects in the office?
227
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,441
The coins.
The pottery.
228
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,444
I bought them at airports.
229
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,349
Well, what about your prized
Chuchubian death mask?
230
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,119
eBay.
231
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,155
Ooh, Mary.
232
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,423
I'm so sorry that
I found something.
233
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,692
I wish you were me.
234
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:02,960
It's not just you.
235
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,764
I mean, people were
pulling things up all day.
236
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:11,669
And then when Dr. Powell
found that ceremonial
wedding moon.
237
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,105
I would have killed
to have found that.
238
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,009
What is it you want, Mary?
239
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,745
Is it the moon?
Is that it?
240
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,081
[imitating Jimmy Stewart]
Do you want the moon, Mary?
241
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,189
Can't believe
Harry quit on us.
242
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,124
Left us with all
this work.
243
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,460
I told you to do
a background check.
244
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,996
I mean, he came so
highly recommended.
245
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,632
Uh, you might wanna
check out the tub.
246
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,234
I think the drain's clogged.
247
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,969
Yes, sir. We will get
248
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:45,970
right on that, sir.
249
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,139
Thank you for
letting us know.
250
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,608
Why do these people
need to bathe every day?
251
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,911
Why does the hairiest guest
always have to wear my robe?
252
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,247
Hello,
everybody.
253
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,449
Oh my God, Harry!
Thank God you're back!
254
00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,851
Hey, it's great
to see you, man.
255
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,586
Now I know that
regaining our trust
will be difficult.
256
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,590
But I think that
snaking the bathtub drain
is a good place to start.
257
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,326
That how you greet
all your guests?
258
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,595
I'm sorry?
259
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,830
I'd like a room.
260
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,998
I'm checkin' in.
261
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,835
What are you
talking about?
262
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,971
I'd like a New York Times
on my doorstep every morning,
263
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,373
with the crossword puzzle
already filled out.
264
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,811
For breakfast, I'd like
a small glass of juice.
265
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,246
Whichever kind
you're out of.
266
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,281
And I'd like to start
with a nice warm bath.
267
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,185
There's absolutely no way
you're getting a room here.
268
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,322
"Dear Crown Travel Guide,
269
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,358
"The Inn at Solomon
House stinks!"
270
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,231
I'll show you
to your room.
271
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,634
Yeah.
Oh oh oh, miss!
272
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,936
Could you get the luggage?
Thank you very much.
273
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,876
Why do I do this?
274
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,411
I just keep
going through life,
275
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,080
trying to find new ways
to prove what a loser I am.
276
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,215
Oh, Mary. Stop.
277
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,017
You don't have
to prove that to me.
278
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,387
Why don't you
take a little break?
279
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,591
And-- and go get yourself
a cup of coffee, huh?
280
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:14,792
Okay.
281
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,573
So, uh...Mary.
282
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,808
Caffeine kick in yet?
283
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,310
You ready to dig? Huh?
284
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,178
You know, I'm done
for the day.
285
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,580
Ooh! What?
286
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,048
Oh, no, you can't give up now.
Not when you're so close!
287
00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,617
You know, I'm-- I'm
gonna be in the tent.
288
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,319
No! But this is your
lucky day.
289
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,386
Oh, I doubt that.
290
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,088
Oh, no no. Trust me.
291
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,357
No, I'm leaving--
Get back in the pit,
you loser!
292
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,491
What?
293
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,494
Please. I'm sorry. I--
294
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,330
I'm just trying
to make you feel better.
295
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:55,032
Here. Give it
a few more minutes.
296
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,101
I believe in you.
297
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,604
Okay, okay, okay.
298
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,307
Why don't you try
over there, hm?
299
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,411
Wait, wait. Ho! Wait,
wait-- wait a second!
300
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,413
Whoa. Don't tell me
you found something.
301
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,783
I did!
I think I did!
302
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,619
Are you sure?
Now, don't toy with me!
303
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,753
My heart can't take it!
304
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,123
I'm serious!
305
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,958
It's a ceremonial
wedding moon,
306
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,860
just like the one
Dr. Powell found.
307
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,229
Oh, my stars.
Will you look at that?
308
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,331
I can't believe this!
309
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,533
I actually found
something on my own!
310
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,370
Oh, hon. Who was there
for you in your darkest
hour, huh?
311
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,471
Oh! Dick!
312
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,938
A little sugar
this way?
313
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,174
Oh, thank you so much!
314
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,243
Thank you for having
the confidence in me
315
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,079
that I'd lost.
Oh, I love you so much.
316
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,516
Come. My Indian princess.
317
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,751
Let's go down to the river,
shed our buckskins,
318
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,953
and party like
it's 1399!
319
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:50,988
Woop woop!
320
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,229
Come on! Rub me!
321
00:14:58,297 --> 00:14:59,463
I just--
I don't wanna!
322
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,666
Rub me, woman!
323
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,736
[long moan]
324
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,739
That's the stuff!
325
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,374
Did you get me those
Les Mis tickets?
326
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:15,379
I looked into it, and
it's not playing in Ohio.
327
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,483
Well, after dinner, maybe
you and the boy'll act it out.
328
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,322
This ceremonial
wedding moon
329
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,989
that I unearthed today
330
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:28,792
may change the way we think
about the Pawchuk Indians.
331
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,663
Perhaps all Indians.
332
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,332
Ladies and gentlemen:
Archeologist of the Day,
333
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,134
Mary Albright.
Oh, no, no...
334
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:39,137
Yes! Yes!
Please, no...
335
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:41,072
There will be a small
but formal party
336
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,041
for Dr. Albright,
tonight at 8.
337
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,576
B.Y.O. weenies.
338
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:48,746
Oh, Dick.
339
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,148
For the first time
in my life,
I feel legitimate.
340
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,650
Oh, that is so great.
341
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,386
But you don't you think
it's time we took that
moon thing
342
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,921
and discreetly mixed it in
with all the other artifacts?
343
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:58,922
Not just yet.
344
00:15:58,991 --> 00:15:59,923
No?
No.
345
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,926
Dr. Albright.
Dr. Powell.
346
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,729
I heard you found another
ceremonial wedding moon.
347
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:05,930
I find that hard
to believe.
348
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,566
Why? Because it refutes
those theories
349
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,768
you've been spewing
for the past 10 years,
350
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,070
about the Pawchuks
being monogamous?
351
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,139
Where did you get
that jacket?
352
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,207
Is that real canvas?
353
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,042
Let me see that
wedding moon.
354
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,377
No! Don't give it
to him, Mary.
355
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,979
What?
He just want
to see the moon.
356
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,781
What'll he want
to see next?
Your bank account?
357
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,748
Come on.
Let's blow this...
358
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,783
No!
Mary...
359
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:26,918
[Man] Dr. Powell!
360
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,485
I just went to get
your wedding moon.
361
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,787
It's missing.
[gasps]
362
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,190
It's not missing.
It's right here.
363
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,757
Mary Albright stole it!
364
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,125
No, I didn't!
365
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:36,927
Just ask Dick!
He was with me when I--
366
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,098
Oh my God.
367
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,633
You stole it, didn't you?
368
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,368
Oh, that's insane.
I'm not on trial here!
369
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,369
You are!
370
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,272
Give me the moon,
Dr. Solomon.
371
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,840
Forget it.
Give me my moon!
372
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,076
No! I will not give it!
It's not yours!
373
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,145
It belongs to
the Pawchuk Indians!
374
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,046
And the river that
they swam in!
375
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,347
[everybody gasps]
376
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,549
[splash]
377
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,351
Oh my God!
378
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,020
Dr. Albright,
after this,
379
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:05,289
I can assure you
that you and your...
380
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,559
doofus boyfriend will never
be on another dig again!
381
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,833
You know, I got a lot
of respect for you people
382
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,301
in the service industry.
383
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,741
Takes a very dedicated
person to wait on
384
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,643
somebody hand and foot.
385
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,980
Haven't you ever heard
of a corn pad?
386
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:33,885
You know what I'd like
for you to arrange
for me, later on?
387
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,519
A bachelor party.
388
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,222
And you be
the entertainment.
389
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,991
Come here, baby!
390
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,792
[screaming]
Let me go!
391
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,862
What?
That is it.
I quit.
392
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,097
What? No, no--
You can't just quit.
393
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:52,402
I'm not just quitting.
I'm also checking in.
394
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,305
No, you can't do that.
But then you're leaving me
with the whole workload.
395
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,607
What about
the other guests?
396
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,309
I'd like some
juice, please.
Oh, two.
397
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,344
I'm not serving
you people juice.
398
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,581
Dear Crown Travel Guide...
399
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,517
I don't give a rat's ass what
the Crown Travel Guide says.
400
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,553
I want juice.
I want a pedicure.
401
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,556
I want a lap dance
at Harry's bachelor party!
402
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,626
No, I quit!
403
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,563
Excuse me, can I get
some fresh towels?
404
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,566
I'm sorry. We don't
work here anymore.
405
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:23,634
Pardon?
406
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,168
Yeah.
407
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,770
So why don't you
get your own towels?
408
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,440
Ooh, wait a second,
I have a better idea.
409
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,208
Why don't you
get out of our house?
410
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,511
Yeah, get the hell
out of our house!
411
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:37,381
[all three]
Get out!
[screams]
412
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,955
Oh, how was your trip,
Dr. Albright?
413
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:44,988
Did you find anything?
414
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,657
I sure did.
415
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,525
The low point
of my life.
416
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:53,197
Let me guess, Dr. Solomon
helped you find that.
417
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:57,668
Dr, Solomon?
Oh, he's dead to me.
418
00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:01,806
I knew you'd come around.
419
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,712
Hello, Mary.
420
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,849
You must be
very mad at me.
421
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,184
Oh, what makes you say that?
422
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:19,256
I had a lot of time to think
about it on my walk home.
423
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,892
I've got nothing
to say to you.
424
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,194
Listen...Mary...
425
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,763
I'm so sorry.
426
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,199
What I did was stupid
and irresponsible.
427
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,602
But I did it
because I love you.
428
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,106
That's what you do
for someone you love?
429
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,475
You destroy their
reputation? Their integrity?
430
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,245
Haven't you ever heard
of giving chocolates?
431
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:45,149
When you said that you
had never found an artifact...
432
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,952
it just broke my heart.
433
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,954
I wanted you
to feel what I felt
434
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,622
when I discovered
my spear head.
435
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,257
And you did.
436
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:56,760
For one beautiful moment,
you felt it.
437
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,564
And you'll always have this
to remember it by.
438
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,535
Oh, my God, it's--
439
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,304
It's the ceremonial
wedding moon.
440
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,171
I thought you threw
this in the river.
441
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,641
No, that was my spear head.
442
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,777
I figured, I'll
find something else.
443
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:16,113
I'm not so sure
about you.
444
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,751
I can't keep this.
445
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:21,819
Why not?
446
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,654
Because it's not mine.
447
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,856
It's--it's Dr. Powell's.
He's the one who found it.
448
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,657
Oh, he's a pompous boob.
449
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:28,759
But he found it.
450
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,660
He'll never miss it.
Oh, yes he will.
451
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:34,565
He thinks it's at
the bottom of a river.
452
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,707
Let's go get
a display case.
453
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,511
Hey, you guys.
454
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,347
Look what I stole from
that place that we stayed
at this weekend.
455
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,550
Harry, you can't steal
your own shampoo.
456
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,385
Harry, do me a favor,
will you?
457
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:58,155
Balance this apple
on your head and stand up.
458
00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,490
Well, all right.
459
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:02,860
Watch this, guys.
460
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:06,030
[whip snaps, Harry screams]
461
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:12,069
Closed-Captioned by
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA