1 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,837 Good morning, everybody! 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,040 Good morning. 3 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,141 Well, what's wrong, Tommy? 4 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,209 All these different colleges want me. 5 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,611 I don't know where to go. 6 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:16,315 There's Harvard, Yale, MIT, Cambridge. 7 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,049 Hey, you should go to that place. 8 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,719 Everybody's gorgeous, and it's right by the beach. 9 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,854 It's the J. Crew catalogue. 10 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,459 There's the school for me. 11 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,095 Well, Tommy, you could go out and play the field, 12 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,464 but, uh, why not marry the girl next-door? 13 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,865 Pendleton. 14 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,502 You think that Pendleton's better than Princeton? 15 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,903 Tommy, when all's said and done, 16 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,338 on Friday, Princeton serves fish sticks, 17 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,941 and on Friday, Pendleton serves fish sticks. 18 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,109 [Sally] Whoa! 19 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,979 Look! It says here that Princeton has eight 20 00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:49,681 Nobel Prize winners on its faculty! 21 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,816 Huh. How many does Pendleton have? 22 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:55,987 Let me tell you something about Nobel Prize winners, Tommy. 23 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:59,424 They eat fish sticks, and we eat fish sticks. 24 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,260 I guess there's not that big a difference. 25 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,495 Well, I can think of one thing. 26 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,197 Me. 27 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,598 I hadn't thought of that. 28 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,201 You and I strolling arm in arm through the quad, 29 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,270 swapping sandwiches at lunchtime. 30 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,272 Oh, and you're always guaranteed a date 31 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,274 for the homecoming dance. 32 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,312 The other kids will be so jealous. 33 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,980 Yeah. Come on to work. 34 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,416 I'll give you my own personal tour of the campus. 35 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,417 Can we hold hands? 36 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,019 Sure. 37 00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:30,288 ♪♪ [rock 'n' roll] 38 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,791 Hi, hi, hi! 39 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:06,792 Oh, hi. 40 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:07,826 Here's the paper. 41 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,894 Oh, thanks. 42 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,829 Hey, you guys, look! 43 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,398 "Rutherford's Ten Most Powerful Men!" 44 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,666 What number are you, Don? 45 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,501 Um... 46 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,304 Number not-on-it. 47 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,406 What, have they just never heard of you? 48 00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:22,407 How could that be? 49 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,208 Sally, I'm just a cop. 50 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,846 But I once stopped Number Eight for speeding, though. 51 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,948 He let me off with a warning. 52 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,153 How did these bozos get to be so powerful? 53 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,787 You know what they say: 54 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:40,492 under every great man is a great woman. 55 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,861 Don't you mean "behind every man"? 56 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,498 Oh, you're dirty. 57 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,773 Behind every great man is a great woman? 58 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,141 And you're mine, sweetie. 59 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,877 But, Don, what have I ever done for you? 60 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,080 I wear antiperspirant now. 61 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,982 Yeah, well, that's true, 62 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,084 but it's not enough. 63 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,285 Don, I've let you down. 64 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,921 I haven't thrust greatness upon you! 65 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,290 Sally, you aren't ashamed of me, are ya? 66 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:14,259 Oh, sweetie, no. 67 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,561 I love you just the way you are. 68 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:21,132 And to prove it... 69 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,201 I'm gonna tear you down to the studs 70 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,804 and rebuild you into the powerhouse 71 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:29,908 you've never dreamed of being. 72 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,644 Okay. 73 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,383 Oh, Tommy, we are so thrilled 74 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,552 to have a student like you consider Pendleton. 75 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,621 We're gonna start by showing you some slides 76 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,956 of Pendleton's magnificent physical plant. 77 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,225 Nina, plug in the projector. 78 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,826 No. 79 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,428 It'll blow out the toaster oven in the faculty kitchen. 80 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:51,663 Nina! 81 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,599 We are trying to recruit a student here. 82 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:58,103 And I've got potato skins working. 83 00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,805 Then can you hold the slide up to the light? 84 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,475 Dick, get my flashlight. 85 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:11,550 Uh, now, this is Pendleton's stately library, 86 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,252 housing over 2.3 thousand volumes. 87 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,320 You mean "million"? 88 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,355 No. 89 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,590 Next slide, please. 90 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,159 Uh, you know, I'm gettin' a little bit of an eye strain here. 91 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,660 You're losin' him. 92 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,762 You think I could just sit in on a class or something? 93 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,763 Well, of course you can. 94 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,032 I'll tell you what. 95 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,800 Tomorrow, you could try to sit in on one of my classes, 96 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,136 but I predict you'll be on your feet, cheering. 97 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:41,179 ♪♪ [soft jazz] 98 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,481 Sally, what's going on here? 99 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:46,752 Oh! I am throwing you a power brunch. 100 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:48,820 That's nice. What's the occasion? 101 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,055 Well, I'm gonna turn you into a success 102 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,056 instead of a failure. 103 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:54,192 I am not-- 104 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,961 Hey, this jacket's got my name on it! 105 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,964 I invited everyone from the "Top Ten List," 106 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:02,366 along with some other very important Rutherfordites. 107 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,903 This is Mrs. Dubcek. 108 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,304 She owns quite a bit of property 109 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,372 in the Rutherford area. 110 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:10,008 I know her. She's your landlady. 111 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,543 Excellent. 112 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,777 You keep networking. 113 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,547 Sally, I--I appreciate what you're trying to do, 114 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,783 but I'm not in the same league as these big guys. 115 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:20,719 Don, that may have been true of you before, 116 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:23,755 but you've got Sally on the case now. 117 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:28,894 Just think of me as the wind beneath your ass. 118 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,328 [gasps] Oh, my God. 119 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,831 You guys, it's Number Six, Gus DeMarmel, 120 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,101 president and CEO of DeMarmel Lunch Meat. 121 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:39,337 Ooh! That's good meat. 122 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,407 Gus DeMarmel! 123 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,409 Whoo-hoo! 124 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:45,610 How are Peg and the kids? 125 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,745 My wife's name is Janet. 126 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:52,083 Little Peg Junior know about that? 127 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,157 Uh, hello, Terry? 128 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,092 Terry, when you scheduled me for this brunch, 129 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,728 did you bother to find out who was throwing it? 130 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,197 You're fired. 131 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,532 Hi, Mr. DeMarmel. 132 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,735 Um, rumor has it you're looking for a new assistant. 133 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,504 Meet Don Orville: 134 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,507 organized, energetic, a real self-starter. 135 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,508 You have any experience? 136 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,009 No. 137 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,944 Well, uh, you know, he'll be putty in your hands. 138 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:20,978 He'll work for free. 139 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,648 Good. I like that. 140 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,483 Now, be in my office 8 a.m. sharp. 141 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,819 Oh, thanks! He'll be there! 142 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,689 Hey, congrats, Don! 143 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:35,193 Let's get you some air. 144 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:41,800 Next, we measure the decay with difference delta gamma 145 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,603 for the mass eigenstates, 146 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,671 assuming CP invariance. 147 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:49,508 The CP eigenstates and the mass eigenstates are... 148 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,509 what? 149 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,676 Leon? 150 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:56,915 Dr. Solomon, are you allowed to dispense ibuprofen? 151 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,283 Wrong. Pitman? 152 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,317 Aspirin? 153 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,685 Bug? 154 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,286 Here! 155 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,654 Chimps! 156 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:08,326 CP eigenstates implies that they are...the same. 157 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,995 Dr. Solomon, there is no possible way 158 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,030 we could have known that. 159 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,331 Oh, really? 160 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,868 And yet, my son knew that. Didn't you, Tommy? 161 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,238 Well, I thought I knew that until you started explaining it. 162 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,174 I can see them not getting it. 163 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:23,642 Oh, yeah. I know. 164 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,411 As usual, I'm handing out sandwiches in the cemetery. 165 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,347 Class is dismissed. 166 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:36,288 So, slugger, how much did you love my class? 167 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,422 Your class... 168 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,825 Well, honestly, Dick, it was-- 169 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,359 It was kinda hard to keep from laughing. 170 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,527 [laughing] Yeah, I know! 171 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:46,897 They are so stupid. 172 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,867 They're not the sharpest pencils in the box. 173 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,302 They're not sharp at all. 174 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,771 And you, you're incomprehensible! 175 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,740 Not a word understood! 176 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,742 I mean, I figured you were a bad teacher, 177 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,678 but not Hindenburg bad. 178 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,713 [laughing] 179 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:06,451 Hindenburg bad! [laughing] 180 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,754 What? 181 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,328 Ow! 182 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,265 [phone rings] 183 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,566 DeMarmel Meats. 184 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,069 I'll connect you. 185 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,037 Wow, sweet setup, Don. 186 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,038 Ooh, Post-Its? 187 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,707 Help yourself. 188 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:33,811 Don, you look magnificent! 189 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,648 But I gotta tell ya, that phone call, 190 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,416 you didn't say your name. 191 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,619 So, the next time you answer the phone... 192 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,320 DeMarmel Meats, this is Don Orville? 193 00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,490 This is Don Orville at DeMarmel Meats. 194 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,892 That's my boy. 195 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:50,094 Hey, Don. Here, check it out. 196 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,796 Whoo! 197 00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:01,539 Now you can take a nap, and no one's the wiser. 198 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,210 Tommy! Tommy! 199 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,646 If I were a bad teacher, don't you think there would be 200 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,082 some slight evidence suggesting that? 201 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:15,053 Your students have been in the same class for years? 202 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,688 Well, so? You've been in high school for years. 203 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,591 Yeah, but each year I advanced to the next grade. 204 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:23,694 That was high school. This is Pendleton. 205 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:25,697 Pendleton serves fish sticks. 206 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:30,235 My high school served fish...sticks. 207 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,672 I told you about the fish sticks in confidence. 208 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,006 That's it! 209 00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,142 I think you'd be a bad influence on my students. 210 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,944 You are forbidden to go to Pendleton! 211 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,980 How does that feel? Does it burn? 212 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,814 Actually, that's fine. 213 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,249 I'm starting to think you and me 214 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,252 going to the same school would be a bad idea. 215 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,486 Oh, yeah? Well, guess what. 216 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,255 This just in: you're going to Pendleton! 217 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,422 What? No, I'm not! 218 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,690 You are! It's an order! 219 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:53,958 Does it burn? 220 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,461 What is your problem? So you're a bad teacher. 221 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,195 So bad, I thought you knew! 222 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,331 One more word out of you, and you're getting 223 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,734 your master's at Pendleton. 224 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,735 But that is-- 225 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,138 Care to go for your PhD? 226 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,273 Dick, you're-- 227 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,707 Oh, look who's on the tenure track-- 228 00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,442 Dr. Tommy Solomon. 229 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,083 Can you hold, please? 230 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,418 [phone rings] 231 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,086 Hello? Hello. 232 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,421 Mr. DeMarmel's office. 233 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,623 Well, it certainly is. 234 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,858 Well, how are you? 235 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,327 Actually, I'm feeli'' a little dizzy. 236 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,662 I'm sorry, we're breaking up. 237 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,597 Well, that's news to me. 238 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:33,898 You'll have to speak up. 239 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,567 [shouting] I said, that's news to me! 240 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,269 Okay. Bye. But I just got here! 241 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,571 Harry! 242 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:42,774 Shut up! I can hear you all the way outside. 243 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,842 Hi, Don, honey. 244 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,677 I brought you a power shake. Oh! 245 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:46,678 How's it goin'? 246 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,679 Great! 247 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,047 Uh, Mr. D was complaining again 248 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,447 about how his chair was too high, 249 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,384 and I found the knob that makes it go down. 250 00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,686 Oh, that's fantastic. 251 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:55,920 Let's celebrate at lunch later. 252 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:56,987 Oh, no can do. 253 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,723 Oh, but that reminds me, I gotta tell 'em 254 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,024 they rescheduled the bologna conference. 255 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,860 Now, if you'll excuse me, 256 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,962 I've got a coffee filter crisis to diffuse. 257 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:05,897 Bye! 258 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,601 Well, I could see you're busy, busy, busy. 259 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,070 Go get 'em, tiger! [phone rings] 260 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,138 Hello? 261 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,606 Hello! 262 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,181 Eh, Dr. Albright, do you have a minute? 263 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,749 Oh, sure, Tommy. 264 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,452 Here at Pendleton, our doors are always open 265 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,154 to prospective students. 266 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,355 Thanks. 267 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,424 Uh, it's about Dick. 268 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,258 I'm really worried. He's being... 269 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,761 incredibly selfish and bull-headed. 270 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,664 And? 271 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,499 Well, I-- I need your help. 272 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,135 We had this fight, and now he's forcing me 273 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,136 to go to Pendleton. 274 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,038 Oh, no. 275 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:51,576 Oh, Tommy, I felt so dirty trying to get you 276 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,878 to go to this two-bit clown college. 277 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,580 And rightly so. 278 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,415 You are a brilliant young man. 279 00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,085 You should be able to go to any college you want. 280 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,053 It's your life, starting right now. 281 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,221 Well, what about Dick? 282 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,090 Oh, don't worry. I'll talk to him. 283 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,324 You will? Mm-hmm. 284 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,226 Oh, thanks, Dr. Albright. 285 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,995 You know, in a way, you're the closest thing 286 00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,831 I have to a mother. 287 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,567 Oh, Tommy... 288 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,568 Come here. 289 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,273 Hey! 290 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,649 Oh, hey, Sally. Hey. 291 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,885 Oh, uh, Don called. He can't make it. 292 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,220 He's working late tonight. 293 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,955 Oh, good! 294 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:40,325 More lasagna for us, huh? [laughs] 295 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,595 Boy, he sure is working hard. 296 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,730 But, you know, just for a second today 297 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,132 at the office, I thought he was ignoring me. 298 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:51,869 Oh, no. He was just blowin' ya off. 299 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,240 Well, work comes first for now. 300 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,074 I guess I have to get used to it. 301 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,809 I am the woman behind the man. 302 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:02,413 That's right. Second-Fiddle Sally. 303 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,116 Harry, I'll never be second. 304 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,684 I don't know. You saw him today. 305 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,019 He's a young Turk now. 306 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,921 So what? He's still my man. 307 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,823 Well, I guess that's true... 308 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,057 till he goes and gets himself 309 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,493 one of them trophy wives. 310 00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,095 What? 311 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,597 Well, it happens all the time. 312 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,533 Gotta get your arm charm. 313 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,770 Oh, my God. I don't believe this. 314 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:30,308 I polished that lump of coal into a diamond, 315 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,043 and now she gets to wear the ring? 316 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,911 That whore! 317 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,815 Wait, wait! Well, what can you do? 318 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,049 What can I do? 319 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,217 What can I do? 320 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,052 I made him. I can break him! 321 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:44,055 Yeah...good. 322 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,490 Then I get my shot at that whore. 323 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:54,331 [children chatting] 324 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,839 Dick? 325 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,974 Mary. 326 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,109 Wh--How did you find me? 327 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,144 You always come to the turtle slide 328 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,113 when you're upset. 329 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,414 I'm not upset. 330 00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:14,051 Oh, Dick, there comes a time in every young man's life 331 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,554 when he's got to spread his wings and fly away. 332 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,858 Oh, Mary, where would I go? 333 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,060 Not you. Tommy. 334 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,262 It's time to let him make his own decisions. 335 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,063 Well, he's already made one decision. 336 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,733 He's decided that his father is a lousy teacher. 337 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,768 Oh, he was just angry. 338 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,538 For as long as I can remember, I've always been Dick Solomon, 339 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,108 brilliant professor of physics. 340 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:41,012 What am I gonna say now when I go to the gas station? 341 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,381 Well, maybe you should get back to basics. 342 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,416 Maybe you should remember what got you into teaching 343 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,417 in the first place. 344 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,852 Chalk? 345 00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,188 See those kids over there? 346 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:54,591 Oh, the ones playing hopscotch so abominably? 347 00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:57,461 Why don't you go teach them how to play? 348 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,063 Go ahead. 349 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,032 You think? Yeah. 350 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,299 Well, all right. 351 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:08,072 Go on. 352 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,473 Well, hi there. 353 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:10,708 Playing hopscotch, eh? 354 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,544 Yeah, kinda, but we don't really know how. 355 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:17,682 Oh, well, what do you say I teach you? Here. 356 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,885 The key is throwing your rock nice and easy. 357 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:24,154 Why don't you try it? Aim for number nine. 358 00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,189 Mmph. 359 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,625 Okay, now try again. 360 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,094 And remember, nice and easy. 361 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,629 Mmph! 362 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,434 What part of "nice and easy" don't you understand? 363 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,305 You're a bad man. 364 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,572 Oh, right, blame me! 365 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,074 You're not incompetent. I am! 366 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,543 That's it! Run away! 367 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,544 That--ooh! 368 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,346 Hey...stop it! 369 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:57,087 Well, Mary, I've been humiliated and stoned. 370 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,355 What do you say now? 371 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,261 You're right. You're a bad teacher. 372 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,463 [sobbing] Oh, Mary... 373 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,765 Oh...come here. 374 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,037 Hey! 375 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:21,412 Right in here. 376 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:24,782 You know, I think you are going to be 377 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:28,987 very excited about this presentation. 378 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,255 Now, when I buzz you, bring in one of the prototypes. 379 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,324 Mr. DeMarmel, I'm your man. 380 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,836 Hi, Don. Hi, Don. 381 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,738 Bad timing! Bad timing, guys. 382 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,172 I'm on call. 383 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:51,776 Any second, I have to bring this salami into that office. 384 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,645 [phone rings] 385 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,079 Mr. DeMarmel's office. 386 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,748 Uh, no, he's in a meeting. 387 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,682 Okay. Bye. 388 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,523 Did--Did you just see a salami? 389 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,558 What's wrong, hon? 390 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,260 I--I thought I grabbed-- 391 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,730 Forget it. There's another. 392 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:17,701 Don, I am so impressed with your organization. 393 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,771 Oh, I gotta get the tray. 394 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:25,209 Ah! 395 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,677 What's going on here? 396 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,512 Sally, did you come all the way down here 397 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,714 just to play "hide the salami"? 398 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,687 How dare you? 399 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,022 I'm sorry. 400 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,489 I've--I've been under a lot of pressure. 401 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,258 There are only three of those in the world, 402 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,293 and I've already lost two of 'em. 403 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,166 Harry... 404 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,834 did you hide my salami? 405 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:01,312 I'm sorry. I've been under a lot of pressure. 406 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,679 [buzz] Aaahhh! 407 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:03,680 What's the matter? 408 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:04,815 It's go time! 409 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:09,821 [screams] No, no, wait! 410 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,090 Just a moment, sir. 411 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,525 [door slams] 412 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,802 Sally, could you hand me that tray? 413 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,938 Oh, sure, sweetie. 414 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,508 Aaahhh! 415 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,677 Who's playing you-know-what with the thing? 416 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,279 Well, not me. 417 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,280 Yeah, me, neither. 418 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,682 Orville, the prototypes, now! 419 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,385 Sir, I-- 420 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,386 I've lost them. 421 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,587 You've what? 422 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,289 All three. 423 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,324 You're fired. 424 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,827 No, no, no, no, no. 425 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,861 He quits. 426 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,801 Don't worry about him, sweetie. 427 00:18:56,803 --> 00:19:00,404 You're still number one on my list. 428 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:10,681 Mr. DeMarmel. 429 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,817 [DeMarmel] Is that the prototype in your pocket? 430 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:16,220 Nah. I'm just happy to see ya. 431 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,794 Tommy? 432 00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,063 Dick. 433 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,565 [sighs] 434 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,700 I owe you an apology. 435 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:34,572 I'm sorry I made you even consider Crapleton. 436 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,573 You really mean it? 437 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,541 Absolutely. 438 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:38,642 Oh, that's a relief. 439 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:42,012 You deserve to spend these years at a college, 440 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,747 not a place where the freshman dorms 441 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:47,385 had to be built by Habitat for Humanity. 442 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,587 Well, thank you. Thank you. 443 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,590 And, you know, it really has nothing to do with Pendleton. 444 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,358 It's just I don't think that you and I 445 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,693 should be at the same college. 446 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,127 Oh, well, don't worry about that. 447 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:58,161 I'm through with teaching. 448 00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,464 It's the career fair for me. 449 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,233 Dick, you can't quit. You're a terrible teacher. 450 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,601 That's your greatest strength. 451 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,138 What? 452 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,140 I'm so confused I feel like I'm taking 453 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,010 one of my own classes. 454 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:16,413 Your real job is to be High Commander. 455 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,882 And the mission says you're forbidden 456 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:18,883 to change the world. 457 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,117 So? 458 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,886 So, are any of your students smarter than they were 459 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,222 four years ago? 460 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,790 Well, no. 461 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,090 That's right. 462 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,561 So... 463 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:34,699 what you're saying is, by day, I'm Dick Solomon: 464 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:38,135 mild-mannered, incompetent physics professor. 465 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,104 But by night, I'm Dick Solomon: 466 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:45,443 brilliant, charismatic, steel-abed High Commander. 467 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,645 Yeah, something like that. 468 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,947 Tommy, I'm back! 469 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,749 And my first order of the day 470 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,252 is for you to pick whatever college you want. 471 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,721 Aw, thanks, Dick. 472 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,289 Come here. 473 00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:12,736 Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA