1 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:26,916 (girl with Scottish accent) For hundreds of years, people have tried to solve 2 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,917 the mystery of our loch. 3 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,790 Dr Abernathy was one of them until the night he had a terrible accident. 4 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:41,598 We didn't know it then, but that night would change our lives for ever. 5 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,310 (woman) Izzy! Bedtime! 6 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,394 - Is that a good one? - Very good one. 7 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,556 One eye, that's the one! 8 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,477 Nice one. 9 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,671 Are you all right, Dr Abernathy? Are you all right? 10 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,759 Yeah, yeah, I just need some air to clear my head. 11 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,156 (goading) 12 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,830 Oh, my God! 13 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,319 (radio: Announcements and jingle) 14 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,229 (radio) It's the first day of the rest of your life! 15 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,235 It's bleeding again. 16 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,312 Right, here's good for me. 17 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,915 Yeah, tell Eddie down the shop I'll catch up with him later. 18 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,113 - Eddie? - Yeah, Eddie, the owner of the place. 19 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,311 We have no Eddie. 20 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,636 Only his close friends call him Eddie. 21 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,880 He's my brother. 22 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,795 You're not listening to me. Hey, Caroline. Yoo-hoo, Caroline? 23 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,956 You will get your money. 24 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,116 (line goes dead) 25 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,720 - You look like hell. - Thank you very much. 26 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,434 Aren't you supposed to be at a class right now? 27 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:55,959 Probably. 28 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,756 You know, Mercer is going ballistic. 29 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,192 He wants a word with you after your next lecture. The one you're not at. 30 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,196 Dean doesn't want you around the campus. 31 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,436 Neither do I. 32 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,677 However, all is not lost. 33 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:22,916 I have a research position which is perfect for a man of your reputation. 34 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,917 Loch Ness. 35 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,911 - What? - Loch Ness, Scotland. 36 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,237 I sent Dr Abernathy. He had an accident. Dead. 37 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,273 What's-his-name is still there. His research assistant. 38 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,950 You want me to go find the Loch Ness monster, Bob? 39 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,278 No, John. I want you to go to Loch Ness and not find the monster. 40 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,155 I want you to take this equipment and prove that it's a hoax. 41 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,751 What are you doing? You're sticking another nail in my coffin. 42 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,438 I can't go there. It'll look like I'm running after another shadow. 43 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,074 The only reason I'm teaching freshmen 44 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,592 is because I chased a no-show monster for three years! 45 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,793 - I won't have any credibility left. - You don't have any credibility. 46 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,514 And now you don't have any career. 47 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,473 Unless I say so. What's the problem here? 48 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,754 Just run the sonar up the loch, bring me evidence nothing's there. 49 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,157 I get my equipment back, you regain credibility and get paid. 50 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,670 Screw the money. I won't do it. 51 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,032 That's brave talk for a guy that has to hitch... hike home tonight. 52 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:43,198 John, I've got letters on my desk from the IRS about you. 53 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:48,520 Not to mention communications from the lawyers of your ex-wife. 54 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,599 Yeah, I may be broke and have no credibility left, 55 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,631 but I do have some dignity. 56 00:06:54,840 --> 00:07:00,119 That's blackmail. So why don't you take the whole loch and shove it? 57 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,752 Helen? 58 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,192 Make that reservation for Scotland for Dr John Dempsey. 59 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,119 Yeah. In coach, of course. 60 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,072 I don't know, hold on... 61 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,798 John, window or aisle? 62 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,309 - Window. - Window. 63 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,392 Dr Dempsey? 64 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,556 Hello, I'm Adrian Foote. 65 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,035 Your research assistant. 66 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,152 I recognise you from that picture in Time magazine. 67 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:11,512 You were on the boat in Madagascar with a lemur on your shoulder. 68 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:16,077 You've lost weight since then. If you don't mind me saying, it suits you. 69 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:21,308 This is an honour for me. I've read all your books on biodiversity. 70 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,559 (Adrian) Loch Ness. 71 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,639 In 500 AD, St Columba saw the beastie approaching a swimmer. 72 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,435 "Turn back, beastie! Let the man be!" He shouted, and it submerged. 73 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,716 Ever since then, people have been seeing Each Uisge. 74 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,751 That's the Horse of the Water. 75 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:54,470 But you watch out, beastie, 'cause your man is here. 76 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,192 It is... It's very comfortable. 77 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,073 And each room is done out in a different tartan. 78 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,236 I think mine's "Hunting Stewart". 79 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,398 (music, chatter and whooping) 80 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,512 Is there another hotel we can go to? 81 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,188 Not that's open now. It's after the season. 82 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,518 - The ceilidh's in high gear, so... - Wait, wait. What's a ceilidh? 83 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,077 Well, it's a gathering in honour of all the cryptozoologists. 84 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,238 You're telling me there are Nessie hunters in there? 85 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,069 Aye, I thought you knew. They're all excited at a chance to meet you. 86 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,794 Didn't Dr Mercer tell you? 87 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,431 Aw, that's perfect (!) 88 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,359 Good! 89 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,994 (# tune: "Marie's Wedding") 90 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,914 The Danes are here, building a giant cage. 91 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,998 They plan to lure Nessie in with six tons of breadcrumbs. 92 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,837 - Dr Muller? Dr Muller? - I need a drink. 93 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:12,194 John Dempsey as in "Dr Sasquatch". I think they were wrong about you. 94 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,234 He also discovered an unknown species of wasp in South America. 95 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,353 Won the Tyler Award for that at 26. And the NSA Award twice. 96 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,516 That's a long time ago. Forget it. 97 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,474 I read about you in Scientific American. They were wrong... 98 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:31,708 Dr Dempsey, such an honour. Your pursuit of the Yeti was seminal. 99 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,911 What is your method of tracking? 100 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,350 My method of tracking? 101 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:40,838 I like to locate what I'm after, then I bend down like this, 102 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,316 and then I give it the old zigzag here... 103 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,598 (bagpipes: "Scotland the Brave") 104 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,510 There is nowhere you can go. 105 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:56,669 I'm gonna get my rig, do my job and get the hell out of Dodge. 106 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,193 - But at least let me... - Hey, Adrian! 107 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,631 Chill out, all right? Have some shortbread or something. 108 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,634 Damn midget's car. 109 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,638 Your car is in the drive. 110 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,992 Oh, no... 111 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,993 You realise you're blocking the driveway? 112 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,351 - I do now. - What do you intend to do about it? 113 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,075 - What do you want me to do? - Move it, obviously! 114 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,590 Do I hear the word "please" in there? 115 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,513 I guess not. 116 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,438 (horn blares) 117 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,235 Thanks for your help. 118 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,192 This is a very important scientific project. We've a schedule. 119 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,153 If we find something, it'll be good for your business. 120 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,918 What if they don't? 121 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,113 This is Dr Dempsey. 122 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,311 Is that a fact? 123 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,800 So, Doctor... 124 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,388 You want to find the monster, do you? 125 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,559 Yeah. That's correct. But I don't have much time. 126 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,911 Gotta get to Greenland before winter hits, find Santa Claus. 127 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,917 Excuse me. 128 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,309 - So, how much for the boat? - Well... 129 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:19,389 I can't have her defaced with all this... equipment I see here. 130 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,558 That'll make a difference again, so... 131 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,711 I'll be wanting £20,000. 132 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,037 I'll buy it back in a week, less damages and £500 a day. 133 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,595 £20,000? You said ten! 134 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,872 Oh, aye. That was for the Conquest there. 135 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,029 Well, I only got a week, and I do need a rig. 136 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,552 Plus, I love what you've done with the colours. Cheque OK? 137 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,714 Wait, wait. You can't pay him all that money. 138 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,959 I'm not going to, am I? Mercer is. Didn't he tell you? Spare no expense. 139 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,196 Take care of that, will you? 140 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,996 Did you come to stay with us, Dr Dempsey? 141 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,310 I don't know. Who are you? 142 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,114 Isabel Mary McFetridge. 143 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,595 My mother's Laura and my dog's Bruce. 144 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,712 He rolled in some fish and went home. 145 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,792 You'll be in room D. Bye for now. 146 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,670 Room D? 147 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,318 Hello? Hello? 148 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,553 They open? 149 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,392 Hello? 150 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,558 (radio: Shipping forecast) 151 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,199 Hello? 152 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,630 Sorry! I'm sorry. 153 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,788 Sorry. I'm looking for a room for five days. 154 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,788 The season's ended. We're not taking guests just now. 155 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,551 Oh... Well, can I...? Can I see the manager? 156 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,876 I am the manager. 157 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,959 - Could I... talk to the owner? - I am the owner. 158 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,595 Bruce got into some dead fish on the jetty. He likes to roll in it. 159 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,075 Canis lupus courtship behaviour. 160 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,589 Bruce is on the make. 161 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,230 You still blocking people's driveways? 162 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:56,150 Yeah, I'm sorry... Hello? You caught me off guard. 163 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,113 The little girl said you were holding a room for me. 164 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,596 Isabel? She's a wee lass, Mr Dempsey. 165 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,916 We're not accommodating. 166 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,355 Right. Well, let me ask you, ma'am. 167 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:13,350 When you are accommodating, what do you usually get for a room? 168 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,949 £70 a night. 169 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:25,080 Well, let's make it 75, and I apologise for blocking your driveway. 170 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,192 I'm sorry, but we're still closed. 171 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,188 Hey, please, this is the only place. Just for five nights, please? 172 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,949 So you'll be another beastie hunter? 173 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,550 Yes. Yes, ma'am. Have net, will travel. That's me. 174 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,557 £80. Please. 175 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:46,197 Overcharge me. It seems to be the national pastime around here. 176 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,231 Hello, Mr Dempsey. 177 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,078 Isabel. 178 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,398 Why don't you work out a room deal? Your mom's crucifying me. 179 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,114 - How much are you offering? - Isabel! 180 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,871 All right, this is my last offer, though. £90 and no pets in my room. 181 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,431 - That's really good. - Yeah, see? 182 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,913 All right. 183 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,429 - Room D. It's along the landing. - Yes! 184 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,837 - Come on, Isabel. - Look at that, room D. 185 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:21,716 - Could you...? - No, you're too late for breakfast! 186 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,357 Three of these, laddie, and you might catch a glimpse of the beastie. 187 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,393 I think I got a pretty good look at one, don't you? 188 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,558 - Some carrots. - Yeah. 189 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,752 - How about four? - Four. For sure. 190 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,277 They laughed at the very idea of a dragon in Komodo. 191 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,311 And then they found it. 192 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,719 Same with the tree kangaroo. 193 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,272 Right over here. 194 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,599 Same with the megashark, of course. 195 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,273 And it was the same with your discovery, eh? The Dempsey wasp. 196 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,916 Satellite mapping system. And that's CP-500 sonar. 197 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,839 I thought only the military had this equipment. 198 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,918 Nothing's too good for Mercer's army. 199 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,153 - Beer? - No, thanks. 200 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,634 Right. 201 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,349 You can see every mollusc. 202 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,630 You can see every inch. 203 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,831 (steady beeping) 204 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,316 We're gonna see it. 205 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:33,839 I know it. 206 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,955 How can it not be there? 207 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,833 How can what not be there, Adrian? 208 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,396 The creature. 209 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,520 You know, in prehistoric times, the loch was connected to the sea, 210 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,359 but it was cut off during the second Ice Age. 211 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,596 An aquatic dinosaur here would've been... 212 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,360 Trapped in an isolated aquarium, 213 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,757 able to sustain itself and escape extinction. 214 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,513 Nice theory. 215 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,756 Come on, man. 216 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,236 We get the Discovery Channel, too, you know. 217 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,071 Look, I don't want to seem impertinent, Doctor... 218 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,875 Sometimes it sounds like you believe there's nothing there. 219 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,277 You're in the ballpark there. 220 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,029 So the locals need a legend, because their livelihood depends on it, 221 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,550 but what about the evidence? 222 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,435 It's a large pinniped, maybe a Pleistocene relic. 223 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,633 I believe strongly, Doctor, that what's down here is not a tabloid monster. 224 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,832 - It's a biological phenomenon. - Come on! 225 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,749 Would you give me a break? 226 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,192 Dr Dempsey? 227 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,511 Nothing on the rear scanner, Adrian! 228 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:08,112 No, there's... there's something here. I need help to get a fix on it. 229 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,235 It's nothing. It's probably just a chunk of driftwood or something. 230 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,591 It's too big to be a chunk of driftwood. 231 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,439 It's moving. It's moving! 232 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,598 It's propelled by trapped bacterial gas. Relax. 233 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,152 There, see? I told you, it was just a log. 234 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,756 It's always just a big damn log. 235 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,071 I'm sorry. 236 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,238 (man singing in distance) 237 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,836 I'm so sorry. 238 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,319 Each Uisge! Each Uisge! 239 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,919 He's the water bailiff, the keeper of the loch. 240 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,554 He's been here since '32. 241 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,038 # Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream 242 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,273 # Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily 243 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,239 # Life is but a dream # 244 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,716 (knocks) 245 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,754 Dinner is at 7.30 sharp. That'll be extra, of course. 246 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,279 Of course. 247 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,994 I suppose the breakfast I didn't have is included? 248 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,033 - Aye. - That makes sense. 249 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,599 - How's your room? - It's nice, yes. Very nice. 250 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,871 Are you taking over from poor Dr Abernathy? 251 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,638 Yeah, I suppose I am. 252 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,310 He was a good man. Such a tragedy. 253 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,910 You're here to solve the mystery of the loch? 254 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:40,193 - There's no mystery to solve. - I don't know about that. 255 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,671 You're a believer? 256 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,236 I wouldn't say yes, but I wouldn't say no. 257 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,398 Come on, you can tell me. Have you actually seen it? 258 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,398 Well, when I was a wee girl, 259 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,989 I saw a great wake in Urquhart Bay. 260 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,078 Three humps came up, just beyond the castle there. 261 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,679 Really? 262 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,759 See, that's my personal favourite, the old triple-humper. 263 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,150 If you don't believe in it, why did you ask me? 264 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,076 I'm sorry. 265 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,031 - Is there a shower? - Aye. 266 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,151 Thank God. 267 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,432 - But there's no hot water. - Why not? 268 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:29,955 - The dog used the last of it. - I'm sorry? 269 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:34,073 Canis lupus used the last of the H2O. He's clean as a whistle now. 270 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,271 No, wait a minute... 271 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,836 You're telling me that I'm paying £90 a night, that's $140, 272 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,749 I don't get the breakfast I paid for, and the dog gets my hot water? 273 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,033 I didn't know you were coming, and I didn't ask you to stay. 274 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:53,159 There'll be plenty of hot water later. There are your towels. 275 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,396 Thank you. Yes, the towels. 276 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,115 Look at these! Should they be away from their mother? 277 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,917 I've seen the snow in wintertime five feet. 278 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,357 And my old grandpappy, four feet eleven. 279 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,235 We never saw him till March. 280 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,198 - That's terrible. - Except for his hat. 281 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:32,118 - My old grandmother was pleased. - I'll help you with that. 282 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,595 - I can manage, thanks! - Sorry. 283 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,588 I wasn't suggesting 'cause you're a woman you're not capable of... 284 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,588 You're more than capable of... As well as being a woman. 285 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,109 Well, if you want to. 286 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,199 - What are you doing, Andy? - I'm just pulling one for Duncan. 287 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,871 - On the self-serve pump. - Stay your side of the bar, please! 288 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,550 I do apologise, Miss McFetridge. 289 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,274 Only trying to help, I'm sure. 290 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,750 Have you... thought any more about what I said? 291 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,270 I have, and the answer's still no. 292 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,314 You don't know what you're missing, Laura. 293 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,875 I've a good idea, and it'll be no loss. 294 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:29,269 Hello, Mr Dempsey. Would you like to sit with me? 295 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,040 Somebody who doesn't hate me. 296 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,398 Actually, I'd love to. Thank you. 297 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:43,394 So, what do you wanna do? You wanna grab a Scotch and cigar? 298 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,910 - No. You're funny. - You think so? 299 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:49,793 Good. You wanna hear some of my impressions? 300 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,992 I do Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse. Here you go. 301 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,909 I used to do a human being, but I'm all out of practice. 302 00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:59,759 (imitates cartoon characters) 303 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,917 You're a great audience. 304 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,556 OK, smart stuff, let's see. It's your turn. 305 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,476 (squeaks and squawks and giggles) 306 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,629 No, hey. That was good. You're a professional, right? 307 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,593 - What else do you do? - I can do the water kelpie. 308 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,315 Yes, the water kelpie. All right, let me see your Nessie. 309 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,195 (shrill whistle) 310 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,598 That's good, but I think it's actually a little more like this... 311 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,519 (he growls) 312 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,792 (roars) 313 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,837 You're silly. It doesn't sound like that at all. 314 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:48,192 Great. A little success, and all of a sudden you're a critic. 315 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,676 There you go, Tommy. 316 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,309 What's his story? 317 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,072 Mr Dempsey? 318 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,396 He's taking over, like you said. 319 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,797 Aye, and with more equipment than I've ever seen on the loch. 320 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,516 But it's strange. He's not another starry-eyed loony after a monster. 321 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,759 - In fact, he says it doesn't exist. - How long is he staying? 322 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,428 As long as it takes him to prove his point. 323 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,517 He thinks five days. 324 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,554 Did he pay in advance? 325 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,479 Bruce, drop! 326 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,554 Fetch it! 327 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,509 Not for Magnus. Not with his colouring. 328 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,356 Good day to you, Laura. How are you? 329 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,279 Not so bad, Mrs Macfarlane. Hello, Mrs Tait. 330 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,914 - Laura. - And lovely Isabel, is she well? 331 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,078 Fine, fine. She's becoming quite a handful these days. 332 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,238 - Do you have any spare milk today? - Yes, yes. 333 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,110 - For the guest, I suppose? - Aye. 334 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,278 The American. He bought a bonny pair of socks. 335 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,790 A single man... Very nice. Very good-looking. 336 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,197 - I thought you'd closed. - I had, too. 337 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,198 But he made me an offer I couldn't refuse. 338 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:36,159 - So... he'll be staying a time, then? - A time, aye. 339 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,430 Is that him out there now? 340 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:44,034 Heavens! What's he done to the boat? Is that some sort of equipment? 341 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,869 Aye. I heard he had... equipment. 342 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,117 That'll be Andy's boat he's using? 343 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,072 It is. 344 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,271 Does Andy not mind you accommodating? 345 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,233 What's he got to do with it? 346 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,476 Well, nothing. 347 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,193 Just I heard that you two had an understanding. 348 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,072 We certainly do not. 349 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:11,308 Whether or not I choose to take in guests has nothing to do with Andy. 350 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,150 (chug of boat) 351 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,878 This loch is 25 miles long. That's 263 billion cubic feet of water. 352 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:51,073 That's more water than all the lakes in England and Wales put together. 353 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:56,311 Can't you read? Beware! Private! 354 00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:02,595 Why don't you go and invade a small country in South America 355 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,439 instead of invading my water, 356 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,952 my privacy and my monster's privacy? 357 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,311 Did he say his monster? 358 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,318 That's Gordon Shoals. A total fruitcake. 359 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:23,231 - He's been here 16 years now. - Beware the Ides of March! 360 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,477 The water never gives up its dead! 361 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,753 Yes, I know who you are! And so does the monster! 362 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,235 And another thing, Dempsey, 363 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:38,753 the only bit of her you're gonna see is the inside of her bloody stomach! 364 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,835 - Because she loves me, not you! - Nutter. 365 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,474 I talk to her! 366 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,035 (he wheezes) 367 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,232 We got company. You expecting anybody, Adrian? 368 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,879 - What are they doing? - I don't know. 369 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,353 - They're gonna hit us. - Get out of the way! 370 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,553 Hey! 371 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,877 What the hell do you think you're doing? 372 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,113 They've ruined the whole sweep! 373 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,308 (roll of thunder) 374 00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:54,199 (# music: "Sky Boat Song") 375 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,552 That's a fact. 376 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:04,550 Listen, in the old days, when a man transgressed, 377 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,355 you put him in a barrel and slid him down the hill. 378 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:13,236 - And when a woman transgressed... - Did God Almighty decide the sins? 379 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:17,638 Or maybe some men with fish eggs for brains acted without thinking? 380 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,229 Don't worry, Laura, your business is safe. 381 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,876 So sabotage makes everything just grand for the community? 382 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,111 What do you know about the community, young lady? 383 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,716 (silence falls) 384 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:47,393 - Any luck today, Professor? - So, you're the law on the water. 385 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,591 Is that right? 386 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,429 Do you know what happened to me out there today? 387 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:57,872 Caught a cold, by the sound of it. Very harsh climate in these parts. 388 00:35:58,080 --> 00:35:59,433 Listen up, Scottie. 389 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,871 You've not got some American patsy to play Highland Games with. 390 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,757 I won't be run off by a bunch of tight-fisted weenies in kilts! Got me? 391 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,835 Now, you listen to me, you arrogant young whippersnapper. 392 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,271 The people you are speaking of are the Celts. 393 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,439 Hung the heads of their enemies from the manes of their horses. 394 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,235 You'll never solve the mystery of the loch. 395 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,159 The Creator made it that way and it'll stay that way. 396 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,477 The Chamber of Commerce is behind this racket. 397 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,955 This isn't creation. It's about the economy. 398 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,517 What told you that? Your lenses? Your lights? Your computers? 399 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,831 I'm not a boastful man, 400 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,350 but I know more about these waters than your machines! 401 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,432 I was baptised in them. And I am the keeper of them. 402 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,270 I'll tell you something else. This mystery goes back to St Columba. 403 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,790 He saw it and stated it in the name of Kirk! 404 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,913 Let's see, would that be Captain James T Kirk? 405 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,789 You and your puny machines... 406 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,833 will never destroy 1400 years of mystery. 407 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,072 I'll tell you what. 408 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,511 Come out on the loch tomorrow and you watch me. 409 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,354 - Good morning. - Let's do it. 410 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,834 Fine. 411 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,033 Don't thank us. We liked being here since 4 o'clock this morning (!) 412 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,551 I'm gonna blow this bullshit myth out of the water. 413 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,228 - It's no myth. - Don't start. 414 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,756 Turn the aperture correction down to three, please. 415 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:59,909 He must be halfway up the loch. I don't think he's found anything. 416 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,152 I've heard he only eats the whites of his eggs. 417 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,954 Never touches the yolk. 418 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,914 - He walks in his sleep, you know. - No! 419 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:12,394 Aye? 420 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,874 A lot of Americans do that. 421 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,833 And he sleeps in the nude. 422 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,589 Maybe the sonar activity has driven it to the far end. 423 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,917 I mean, maybe we've got it cornered. 424 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,878 End of loch. 425 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,628 End of the Loch Ness monster. 426 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,834 It's over, Adrian. 427 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,948 You wanna know what all that means? 428 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,596 It's time to rewrite your guidebooks, Water Bailiff. 429 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,232 The computer... 430 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,432 The printout showed cracks alongside the loch. 431 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,632 - Something could've hidden in there. - Come on! 432 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,196 If there was a 30-foot dinosaur out there, we'd have seen it. 433 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:50,473 But too many people have testified. Priests and policemen! 10,000 others! 434 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,468 - You think it's mass hallucination? - I did my job as ordered. 435 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,319 I proved it wasn't there. Signed, sealed and delivered. 436 00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,751 So it's over, then? Because you say it is? 437 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,555 What would you know? You couldn't find a dinosaur in a whisky glass! 438 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,399 No, no! You listen to me, Dr Negativity! 439 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,354 You're not fit to shine the shoes of Dr Abernathy! 440 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,028 "You cannot find something you don't want to." 441 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:18,631 Remember those words? You should, you wrote them nine years ago! 442 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,393 Shit. Hey, let me say something. You wanna yell at me... 443 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,639 - I will yell at you! I'm not finished! - Let me say something. 444 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,354 I've been here, Adrian, I did this. 445 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,314 I'm the guy who blew his reputation chasing Sasquatch, remember? 446 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,159 British Columbia, 1986, you found the tracks! 447 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:45,150 You still don't get it, do you? I am a joke. I chase looney tunes. 448 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:49,114 And you think I don't want to find something out there? 449 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:57,155 If I nailed a dinosaur in Loch Ness, I'd be vindicated a thousand times. 450 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,955 I would have it all back. And more. 451 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:07,238 But it's not gonna happen. There's nothing here or in British Columbia. 452 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,352 There's nothing unexplained flying in the skies at night. 453 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,516 That is just a wish list, Adrian, 454 00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:18,033 to make us feel there's more to life than the shit we got stuck with. 455 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,708 Believing is not enough. 456 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,112 Don't make the same mistake I did. 457 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:38,395 - (Laura) Sit down, Izzy. Come on. - It's just not comfortable. 458 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,592 (Laura) You're on cushions, so you should be. 459 00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:48,079 - Are there any napkins? - Tomorrow I'll get some napkins. 460 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,350 - Promise? - I promise. 461 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:54,473 What else do we have to get? Milk, biscuits. 462 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,114 Potat... Potatoes. 463 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,792 You look sad, Mr Dempsey. 464 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:21,277 My mummy asked if you want to have dinner with us before you leave. 465 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,391 Would you like to? 466 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,436 This is very nice. 467 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,714 Mr Dempsey... 468 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,229 Isabel said you were expecting me to join you for dinner. 469 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,278 Right. Right, yeah. Of course. 470 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,510 Maybe I misunderstood. Why don't I take this upstairs and...? 471 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:50,190 No, no. I wouldn't hear of it, honestly. 472 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,551 Is there anything wrong with it? You've hardly touched it. 473 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,877 No, it's wonderful. I just wasn't very hungry. 474 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,798 Mm, mm. 475 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:12,236 - Have you finished on the loch? - Yeah... Yeah, I've finished. 476 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,839 How come you didn't come on holiday with your wife? 477 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,076 Isabel! 478 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:21,713 That's all right. 479 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,229 Number one, I'm not on holiday. Number two, I don't have a wife. 480 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,556 - Never? - Izzy! 481 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,199 - No, I did once. - She ran off? 482 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,597 - Yeah. She ran off. - Weren't you nice to her? 483 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,518 Isabel Mary McFetridge! 484 00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:42,474 As a matter of fact, when I wasn't in the jungle I was very nice to her. 485 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,478 I even named a new species after her. 486 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,750 Is that true? What was it? 487 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,713 - A parasitic wasp. - A wasp? 488 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,876 I named it Protus Carolinus. 489 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,632 The resemblance was uncanny. 490 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,752 You laugh now, but that was one very dangerous wasp. 491 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:02,076 After it stings you, it hires a lawyer. 492 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,634 Ah, well. Pub's open. 493 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,994 Finish up as you like. I'll clean it off later. 494 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,555 Well, yes. Thank you very much. 495 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,036 She's lonely, too. 496 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:31,749 The winds whistle down the glens at 150 miles an hour. 497 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,757 150... 498 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,873 My Uncle Donald, he had one ear bigger than the other, 499 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:43,871 and when the winds blew, it would corkscrew him down into the ground. 500 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,230 - Your good health, son. - Good health. 501 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,476 Stuart, same? 502 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,150 Hello there, Adrian. What can I get you? 503 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,716 Nothing, thank you very much. I'm all right. 504 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:03,077 Could I just say that you are looking particularly lovely this evening? 505 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:04,633 Thank you. 506 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,637 - Will you marry me? - Oh, no! 507 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,159 Not tonight. 508 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,275 Besides, I make it a rule never to marry anyone who asks me in a bar. 509 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,391 Very wise. 510 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:25,871 Well, perhaps you wouldn't mind passing these on to Dr Dempsey 511 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,638 to take back to America. 512 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,229 The hotel had a few of Dr Abernathy's... 513 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,637 Of course. But if you want him, he's in the kitchen. 514 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:40,078 No, thanks. I've had enough of the great and world-famous Dr Dinky. 515 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:45,673 I have everything you wanted. Photos, printouts, sonar readings. 516 00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:50,758 Yes. I realise that. 517 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,712 I win. 518 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,559 I will see you in Los Angeles tomorrow. 519 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,959 How do you do that? You realise that is twelve in a row? 520 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,435 I tell you what. Here, close your eyes. 521 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,713 I just want to shuffle them up here, so they're a little different. 522 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,516 All right, go ahead, open. 523 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,955 Yeah, that's what I thought. You give up? 524 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,879 You don't have a queen. 525 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,550 - How do you do that? - I saw it in the mirror. 526 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,119 Yeah... 527 00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,630 Let me just teach you one more game here, all right? 528 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,513 Here we go. Five cards, pick them up. 529 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:42,797 No beastie. 530 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,078 No beastie! 531 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,358 (echoes) That's a fact! 532 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,757 (echoes) Dr Dipstick says so! 533 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,033 Fact. 534 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,833 All right, I'll raise you four. 535 00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,356 You're bluffing again, Mr Dempsey. 536 00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:38,075 That is a miracle. Absolutely amazing. Good for you. 537 00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:41,192 Look, Mummy. Mr Dempsey taught me how to play poker. 538 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,312 Mr Dempsey says he'll take me to Disneyland some day. 539 00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,751 Forget Disneyland, we're going to Vegas, kiddo. 540 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,634 - Bed, please, Izzy. Now. - May I kiss Mr Dempsey goodnight? 541 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,198 You can. 542 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,799 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 543 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,959 - Thank you for playing with me. - Thanks for taking my money. 544 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:10,119 - You taught her poker? - Yes... Yeah, I did. 545 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,790 I'm sorry if I did wrong, but do you have any idea 546 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,675 the odds against somebody winning that many times in a row? 547 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,190 She inherited it from her grandmother. 548 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:26,315 - Grandma was a card shark? - No. The ability to see things. 549 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,637 They call it St Columba's Gift round here. 550 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,513 Yeah. Whatever it is, I could use some. 551 00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:36,759 Her grandmother... she could read tea leaves, 552 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,669 and she could tell you whether your baby would be a boy or a girl. 553 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,440 I didn't inherit it, but little Izzy did. 554 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,074 The only thing I got from my grandmother was bad eyes. 555 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,589 Oh, no. I think you have nice... 556 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:53,753 What... 557 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:57,111 What I meant was that I'm far-sighted. 558 00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:02,953 This bag is for you. It has the rest of Dr Abernathy's things in it. 559 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,516 Adrian thought that you could... take it back with you. 560 00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:10,156 - Right. - Goodnight. See you tomorrow. 561 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,793 John. 562 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,273 All right. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well. 563 00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:29,031 Will you be hurt very much when Mr Dempsey goes home tomorrow? 564 00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:33,392 - Of course not. What a question! - Perhaps he won't go. 565 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,160 Why do you say that? 566 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,033 Because I don't want him to and nor do you. 567 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,231 Isabel, what makes you think that? 568 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:45,955 You look at him. I've never seen you do that. 569 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,755 Of course I look at him. What else am I supposed to do? 570 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,316 Be pleasant to guests, but don't make them your friends. 571 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,478 - I've told you that before. - Yes, Mummy. 572 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,114 - Now go to sleep, please. - Yes, Mummy. 573 00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:03,108 And stop saying "Yes, Mummy" like that. He's a guest, that's all! 574 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,788 Don't give me that "I know what you're thinking" look. 575 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,912 - He'll stay if you ask him. - Good night. 576 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,953 - Sleep tight. - Don't let the bed bugs bite. 577 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:16,119 If they do, use dynamite. Mr Dempsey taught me that. 578 00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,598 (tapping) 579 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,074 Problem? 580 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,669 Yeah... I don't seem to have the knack. 581 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,519 It has a slight Highlands temperament. 582 00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:32,473 It needs a little encouragement here. 583 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:42,433 - Need any help? - Air has to be taken out of the pipes. 584 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,916 Can you watch the taps and tell me when the water arrives? 585 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:51,758 Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. I'm a PhD. 586 00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:59,158 - Yeah, I hear something. - Aye, it's running, touch wood. 587 00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:04,508 Touch wood? Back home, we knock on it. 588 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:16,190 You'll be leaving us in the morning. Will you be requiring breakfast? 589 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,516 No, thanks. 590 00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,318 Well, you know, it's included in the price. 591 00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,670 I realise that. 592 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:30,155 Well, if you want to, you can always change your mind. 593 00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,476 - About what? - Breakfast. 594 00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:34,159 Right. 595 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:08,919 We're going out again. Let's go. Bring your pillow, but let's go. 596 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:23,874 Tell me, where were you the night Abernathy got himself killed? 597 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,516 - I was at the Moffat Arms. - But he left alone, right? 598 00:55:27,720 --> 00:55:32,111 Aye. He'd had a few malts. He wouldn't let me drive him home. 599 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,232 - But then he wouldn't have seen it. - Seen what? 600 00:55:37,240 --> 00:55:40,437 That is the last photo on his roll. 601 00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,672 And that is not the tail of a diving otter. 602 00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,917 It's not a vegetable mat. I don't know what it is. 603 00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,633 But I tell you something. 604 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:55,278 My guess is it's part of something very large and very much alive. 605 00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:18,480 - Why do people keep doing this? - Some people don't respect the loch. 606 00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:20,432 They upset the waters. 607 00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,192 (Mr Dempsey) Somehow it got by us. 608 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,789 Maybe it's hiding. 609 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,352 What are they? 610 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,758 Salmon. 611 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,195 Look at them all. 612 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,917 You notice anything unusual about them? 613 00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:51,712 Like what? 614 00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,672 Like they weren't there yesterday. 615 00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:01,110 Like where the hell did they come from? 616 00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:09,109 Is that more salmon? 617 00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,869 You see, that's a separate object chasing the salmon. 618 00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:16,759 Three feet. 619 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,396 - Eel. Could be a conger eel. - Yeah... 620 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,434 No, that's still coming. 621 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,757 No, that's a big vertebrate. Sturgeon, yeah? 622 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,270 - Sturgeon, maybe. - It's still coming. 623 00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:36,429 Oh, my God, that's... That's 17... That's 40 feet long! 624 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,596 Could be a submerged vegetable mat. 625 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:40,791 Yeah, maybe. No, no, no! 626 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,639 Fire up the strobes. 627 00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,274 It's moving this way, towards the surface. 628 00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,870 - Where are the damn cameras? - All recording. 629 00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,150 - Hold it steady. - It's moving too fast. 630 00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:54,316 It's moving too fast! I've lost it! 631 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:55,794 (alarm) 632 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,355 15 knots. It's coming straight at us. 633 00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:07,998 Adrian! Help! 634 00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,791 Dr Dempsey! 635 00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:47,313 Dr Dempsey! 636 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,079 John! 637 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,074 - Is he dead? - Maybe. 638 00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,072 Alive! Alive! He's alive! 639 00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,714 I saw it. It's down there. I saw it. 640 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,831 - Good! - I swear... 641 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,111 I swear to God, I saw it! I swear to you, I saw it! 642 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:42,873 - I gotta get out there again. - Not until you see a doctor. 643 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:47,392 Oh, my God. It's true, isn't it? You said you'd seen it. 644 00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:51,388 No, I've never seen anything. I was giving you a tourist story. 645 00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,876 Well, I have! I've seen it! Oh, God! 646 00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,399 I feel like... 647 00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,594 (pots and pans crash) 648 01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,794 - John! Stop. - Sorry. 649 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,594 Izzy, did you want a drink or something? 650 01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:14,473 Izzy... water. Here we go. 651 01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,638 Anyway, that's your basic mouth-to-mouth method. 652 01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:22,516 Good thing that Adrian was up on his life-saving. Help me with this? 653 01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:27,277 Did Adrian kiss you, Mr Dempsey? 654 01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:35,037 You stay right where you are. I'm going to call a doctor. 655 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:38,836 You don't have to do that. 656 01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:43,352 - Did you see the kelpie? - Yes, I did. I think I did. 657 01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,559 - What? - Would you like to see it again? 658 01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,832 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, I do. 659 01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,793 Of course I would, yeah. 660 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,878 - Is the entire boat wrecked, Bailiff? - Aye. 661 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:07,073 Demolished. And all his gear. 662 01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:11,239 - Well, I hope the bugger drowned. - No, he's very much alive. 663 01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,318 You'll find him over at Laura's pub, I'm sure. 664 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:20,469 I'm not drinking at Miss McFrigid's place at present. 665 01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:24,313 She didn't look very frigid to me. 666 01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,829 He was sitting there having his dinner, 667 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,834 playing games with the wee lassie just like one of the family. 668 01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:36,955 His equipment may have gone, but there's something keeping him here. 669 01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:40,351 Ah, well. 670 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,708 (Adrian) It's bloody cold out here. 671 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,753 Dr Mercer called about what happened. 672 01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,996 I'm sorry, but he's coming over. 673 01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,115 To be honest with you, I didn't see something out there today. 674 01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:00,914 I didn't see a monster. I'd like to have. 675 01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:04,032 I couldn't honestly back you up or anything. 676 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:10,756 It's going to be difficult to do any more without any equipment, isn't it? 677 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:13,997 - It's not as if... - It's down there! 678 01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,317 It's out there. I know it is. 679 01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,871 Go away, you charlatans! 680 01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:29,153 Stay away from my monster! 681 01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,993 He's not your monster! He's my monster! 682 01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,839 I saw him first, you hear me? 683 01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:38,958 My monster! 684 01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:59,270 (phone ringing) 685 01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:10,594 Hello? 686 01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,752 Yeah. Dr Mercer, did you say? 687 01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:17,829 Yes, that's right. John Dempsey. 688 01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:20,434 Yes. 689 01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:25,830 I'm sorry, but he left here yesterday. 690 01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:30,193 I said we're closed for the season. 691 01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,470 Have you tried the Isle of Skye? 692 01:03:55,200 --> 01:03:56,952 (knocking) 693 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,077 Get up, Yank. Take what's coming to you. 694 01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:24,192 Whoa! Hold on a second. The boat's insured. 695 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:28,109 It's not the boat, you pillock. You get out of my woman's house! 696 01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:31,756 Your woman? That's great. Think she's sheep or something? 697 01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:34,838 - You thinking of moving in yourself? - Andy, stop it! 698 01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:38,953 - This is between him and me. - Stop it. Don't fight him. 699 01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:42,789 - Me? I'm not fighting anybody. - Shut it, you whore! 700 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:47,391 - You can't talk to a lady like that. - I'll talk any way I want to. 701 01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,672 You know what? Give me your best shot here, Bigfoot. 702 01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:07,989 - Hit him again and I'll deck you! - You wouldn't dare. 703 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,190 Thank you for standing up to him. 704 01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:23,997 The lights went out pretty quick. Did I touch him at all? 705 01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:27,749 Well... Aye, you did. You got a few in. 706 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:37,389 Now, you stay right where you are. I'll put some comfrey on those cuts. 707 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,160 You're gonna live, John. 708 01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,557 Touch wood. 709 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,874 Izzy? What are you doing up? 710 01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,719 I made something for Mr Dempsey. 711 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,753 - Night-night. - Night-night. 712 01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:55,234 Dynamite. 713 01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,153 That's so sweet. 714 01:06:35,880 --> 01:06:39,475 "The American... very nice. 715 01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,077 "Very good-Looking. 716 01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,075 "Bought some bonny socks." 717 01:06:56,640 --> 01:07:00,599 (Laura) Laura McFetridge, you're such a scandal. 718 01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:17,876 (roll of thunder) 719 01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:42,236 "Get wel, Dockter Dimzee." 720 01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,476 (he coughs) 721 01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:21,796 (coughs) 722 01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:26,471 - Mr Dempsey. - Hi. 723 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,389 I'm sorry if I woke you, I was just... I was on the way to the bathroom. 724 01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:31,874 Oh. 725 01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:39,549 - Do you like my get-well card? - Yeah! Yes, yes. 726 01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:43,070 It's fantastic. It's the perfect elasmosaur. 727 01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:46,033 Right down to the rhomboid frontals, see? 728 01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:49,391 No, Mr Dempsey, it's a water kelpie. 729 01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:55,279 - So this is your kelpie? - It's my friend. 730 01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:59,391 - Are you telling me you saw...? - Aye. 731 01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:01,878 "Aye." 732 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:07,192 You're laughing at me. You don't believe me. I shouldn't have drawn it. 733 01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:10,790 No, I'm not laughing at you, it's just that... 734 01:09:13,640 --> 01:09:17,110 - I must see it before I can believe it. - No, Mr Dempsey. 735 01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,357 You've got to believe it before you can see it. 736 01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:26,317 I believe you. 737 01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:29,950 - And I wanna see it. - Do you? 738 01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:32,355 Yeah. More than anything in the world. 739 01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,996 Do you know what I want more than anything else in the world? 740 01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,953 A red bicycle. 741 01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:46,513 It's a deal. It's a deal. 742 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:51,398 It's a secret. You can't tell. 743 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,592 You can't bring Bruce, 'cause he barks. 744 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,594 Wait. Wait for me. 745 01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,111 Come on, Mr Dempsey. 746 01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:05,711 Please be quick, Mr Dempsey. 747 01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:08,796 Slow down, slow down! Wait! 748 01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:26,439 Isabel? 749 01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:28,879 Oh, boy. 750 01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,593 OK... the joke's over. 751 01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:36,839 Where are you, Isabel? 752 01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:38,393 Holy moley! 753 01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:41,152 (Isabel) Down here. 754 01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:44,591 Great. I'm a grown-up. How am I supposed to fit through that? 755 01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:50,318 - You can hold your tummy in. - Hold my tummy in? Thank you. 756 01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:53,353 This whole country is made for midgets! 757 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,068 Frozen midgets. Jeez! 758 01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:02,159 - That's great. Now I'm stuck. - Please be quick, Mr Dempsey. 759 01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,828 "Please be quick, Mr Dempsey"? 760 01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:06,996 (he groans) 761 01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:10,719 This is crazy. 762 01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:14,551 Where'd you go? 763 01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:31,831 Oh, my God. This place is amazing. 764 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:36,272 Turn the light off. It scares them. 765 01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:41,111 Be very still. 766 01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:52,469 - Where are we? - Listen. 767 01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,636 (gurgling) 768 01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:15,313 Sea otters. 769 01:12:18,440 --> 01:12:20,237 Oh, my God. 770 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:26,279 Sea otters. Water kelpies. Aquatic mustelids. 771 01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:33,030 Come on, Izzy. Let's go. 772 01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:38,992 I've had enough. 773 01:12:39,200 --> 01:12:42,033 (gushing water) 774 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,513 Izzy! 775 01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:09,314 Isabel... 776 01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:11,993 Don't move. 777 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,873 It's OK. 778 01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,435 It's all right. I've got you. 779 01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:20,790 He's just playing. 780 01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:23,434 (Isabel whistles) 781 01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,673 (whistles again) 782 01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:36,397 (creature responds) 783 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,274 Oh, boy. 784 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,389 (whistling) 785 01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:33,838 No! 786 01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:36,474 No! 787 01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,079 No! 788 01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:45,476 (she screams) 789 01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,395 Izzy? Izzy! 790 01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:01,876 Izzy! 791 01:15:41,200 --> 01:15:45,079 - Are you OK? - I told you about the lights. 792 01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:46,918 I'm sorry. I... 793 01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,792 Damn you to hell. 794 01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,996 You had no right. 795 01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:05,397 Oh, no. Come on, come on. 796 01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:09,153 Oh, no. 797 01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:12,993 This can't be. 798 01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:15,711 Come on. Please, please... 799 01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:18,354 Oh, yes! Yes! 800 01:16:18,560 --> 01:16:20,118 Oh, God, yes. 801 01:16:21,880 --> 01:16:23,916 The head! God, yes! 802 01:16:24,120 --> 01:16:27,476 - Bastard! You could've killed her! - What...? 803 01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:30,194 Just for yourself. That's all that matters. 804 01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:32,709 Use people as long as you get what you want. 805 01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:36,356 Using me, I should've known better, but to use a child? 806 01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:40,189 - It wasn't like that. - What? She nearly drowned. 807 01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:42,356 - Laura... - Don't you touch me. 808 01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:45,233 - Don't you dare touch me. - All right, all right. 809 01:16:45,440 --> 01:16:48,113 Look what I have. Come on, look at it. 810 01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:52,313 You've got your precious monster. Got your Scottish souvenir. 811 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:56,433 - I hope you got your money's worth. - A man's here. 812 01:17:02,480 --> 01:17:03,879 No, I can't. 813 01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:15,996 It's a convergent subspecies. 814 01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:19,158 It's a hybrid of plesiosaur and elasmosaur. 815 01:17:20,320 --> 01:17:22,390 You actually saw this? 816 01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:28,195 Now, wait a minute, John. Hold on a minute. 817 01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:31,597 You're saying that this is a real thing you saw? 818 01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,671 No, I don't believe it. 819 01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:39,589 I can't believe it. It's not possible. I don't believe it. 820 01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:43,554 You saw it, didn't you? You did? All right... 821 01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:45,432 I believe it! 822 01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:49,758 I knew it had to be there. I knew there was something. 823 01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,071 - You told anyone? - No. 824 01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:56,396 - You sure? - Yeah. 825 01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:59,398 Let's keep it quiet till after the press conference. 826 01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:04,390 I'll call London, have a symposium at the Royal Academy tomorrow. 827 01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:06,318 - You have a suit? - Yeah. 828 01:18:06,520 --> 01:18:08,317 - You have a suit? - No! 829 01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:10,556 Hello...? What is this? 830 01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:12,034 (pips beeping) 831 01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:14,549 - Money. - Hello? 832 01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:16,993 (knocks) 833 01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:22,359 Your bill is in your room. I believe it's as we agreed. 834 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:26,633 There'll be no extra charge for sex. That's a service I offer all my guests. 835 01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:28,717 - Let me explain. - About what? 836 01:18:28,920 --> 01:18:32,469 - This is crazy. - You've solved your mystery. Leave. 837 01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:35,752 No, I found a colony of prehistoric animals. Look at this. 838 01:18:35,960 --> 01:18:38,428 - They're alive! - I'm very happy for you. 839 01:18:38,640 --> 01:18:42,519 It's not just for me, this is gonna be good for all of us. 840 01:18:42,720 --> 01:18:45,598 Come on, you'll have scientists, marine biologists, 841 01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:48,837 every lab and university in the world will stay here. 842 01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:53,272 When the loch becomes Marine Land with the kelpie performing tricks? 843 01:18:53,480 --> 01:18:56,597 - No. This is science. - How do you stop it? 844 01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:02,193 There'll be ten million nature lovers queuing for a McNessie burger! 845 01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:07,554 You want me to ignore this? To pretend I didn't see this? 846 01:19:07,760 --> 01:19:11,116 - That's up to you. - Come on... Look at this. 847 01:19:11,320 --> 01:19:14,995 - I've waited my entire life for this. - Good. 848 01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:19,079 - You're not even looking at it! - I don't want to look at them! 849 01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:22,113 I don't want to know anything about them. 850 01:19:22,320 --> 01:19:27,440 There's some things that are... meant to be left alone. 851 01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:32,429 I would've thought that you would've understood that. 852 01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:35,750 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 853 01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:41,915 Where's Isabel? 854 01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,315 She doesn't want to see you. 855 01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:46,909 She trusted you, John. 856 01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:58,790 Here, have three drams, laddie, 857 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:02,834 and you might catch a wee glimpse of the beastie today. 858 01:20:03,040 --> 01:20:04,996 (laughs) 859 01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:28,830 Hi, Izzy. 860 01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,600 Why did you do it? You scared it away. 861 01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:36,078 - They'll never come back. - Look... Yes, they will. 862 01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:39,833 I'm sorry, don't be upset. It's not your fault. 863 01:20:40,040 --> 01:20:43,635 - It is my fault. I did wrong. - No, you didn't. 864 01:20:43,840 --> 01:20:48,391 No. See, it's not something that you and I can just keep to ourselves. 865 01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:53,754 - We have to share it with everybody. - Why? I only wanted to show you. 866 01:20:53,960 --> 01:20:56,269 I thought you liked me. 867 01:20:57,600 --> 01:20:59,955 I do like you. 868 01:21:03,040 --> 01:21:05,429 Are you going? 869 01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:12,037 I would do anything not to hurt you. 870 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:16,788 You gotta believe me, Izzy. It's just that I don't know what... 871 01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,353 See, there's... 872 01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:24,073 There's nothing I can do right now. 873 01:21:28,120 --> 01:21:30,156 I know. 874 01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:43,549 Hey, by tomorrow morning, 875 01:21:43,760 --> 01:21:48,072 you just may be the most famous man in the whole world. 876 01:21:51,040 --> 01:21:53,315 I need a drink. You want anything? 877 01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:56,478 I don't drink. I'm gonna take up windsurfing, though. 878 01:21:56,680 --> 01:22:00,468 The Royal Academy's too small. I got the Natural History Museum instead. 879 01:22:00,680 --> 01:22:03,319 No, no. I'm not blowing off Larry King. 880 01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:07,798 I'm saying it's fine if we can do it by satellite. Get the phone! 881 01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:09,274 Hello? 882 01:22:17,120 --> 01:22:19,554 Have another. It's a celebration. 883 01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:23,753 If you're gonna hang my head from a horse's mane, get it over with. 884 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:26,235 No, sir, I wouldn't do that now. 885 01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:29,637 No, you've beaten the loch. 886 01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:32,308 There's no disputing that. 887 01:22:32,520 --> 01:22:36,229 Savour it, is my advice. May I? 888 01:22:40,640 --> 01:22:45,509 Yes... let's see, 1953 was the first time that I went to London. 889 01:22:45,720 --> 01:22:48,075 I didn't think too much of it. 890 01:22:49,680 --> 01:22:52,592 And I thought to myself 891 01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:56,554 if ever I went back, it would have to be for a very good reason. 892 01:22:56,760 --> 01:23:00,833 We both know why you're here, so let's not play games. 893 01:23:02,400 --> 01:23:08,430 We cannot let the survival of the last specimens of the Ice Age 894 01:23:08,640 --> 01:23:12,792 depend solely on the work of one man, it doesn't make any sense. 895 01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,878 Science can take care of them professionally. 896 01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:19,868 - The sad thing is you believe that. - Yes. Yes, I do. 897 01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:24,870 It wasn't exactly science that helped your discovery, was it? 898 01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:28,231 It was a wee girl. Nine years of age. 899 01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:32,998 And wasn't it your precious science that gave us 900 01:23:33,200 --> 01:23:39,275 all this acid rain and pollution and warming air in the first place? 901 01:23:44,240 --> 01:23:49,268 These creatures have survived for 15,000 years without your help. 902 01:23:49,480 --> 01:23:53,109 What makes you think that you're so special? 903 01:23:57,960 --> 01:23:59,234 I... 904 01:24:05,240 --> 01:24:07,913 This is very hard for me. 905 01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:12,075 I'm a proud man. 906 01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:16,910 And I have never asked anybody for anything in my life... 907 01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:21,476 as I'm asking you now. 908 01:24:22,960 --> 01:24:25,679 Don't do this, Mr Dempsey. 909 01:24:36,880 --> 01:24:38,871 Ah, well. 910 01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:48,192 Well, I have a loch to tend to. 911 01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:56,398 Thank you. Safe journey to you. 912 01:25:17,120 --> 01:25:19,350 Is the mystery of Loch Ness finally solved? 913 01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:22,791 The world's media is gathering at the Natural History Museum, 914 01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:26,993 where a new American underwater survey claims to have evidence 915 01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:29,919 of the existence of the Loch Ness monster. 916 01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:39,476 (hum of chatter) 917 01:26:07,360 --> 01:26:09,396 (Mercer) John? 918 01:26:11,760 --> 01:26:15,389 - Let's go. "Lead on, Macduff." - Certainly. 919 01:26:18,640 --> 01:26:23,430 I've seen two miracles now. One is a man rising from the dead. 920 01:26:23,640 --> 01:26:27,394 - It's good to be alive again, Bob. - Nice suit, John. 921 01:26:37,440 --> 01:26:39,635 Thank you, Doctor Binns. 922 01:26:40,400 --> 01:26:43,278 Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. 923 01:26:43,480 --> 01:26:47,029 When I began my expedition to the loch, 924 01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:49,879 it was based only on a hunch. 925 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:52,878 But so many discoveries have been made 926 01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:58,393 by using a little imagination and... bending the rules. 927 01:26:58,600 --> 01:27:01,558 Like Newton and Galileo. 928 01:27:03,240 --> 01:27:07,153 With this in mind, I asked my colleague, Dr Johnathan Dempsey, 929 01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:12,036 to concentrate his efforts on the scientific enigma of Loch Ness. 930 01:27:12,240 --> 01:27:16,392 I'll ask him now to present you with his findings. Dr Dempsey. 931 01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:36,152 I used to dream about this when I was a kid. 932 01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:39,755 But I have to admit, this is... 933 01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:44,151 much more overwhelming than I thought it would be. 934 01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:51,670 I'd like to say that I wouldn't be here today 935 01:27:51,880 --> 01:27:57,238 if it weren't for the confidence and trust of the architect of this study, 936 01:27:57,440 --> 01:27:58,919 Dr Robert Mercer. 937 01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:22,997 Ladies and gentlemen, the mystery of Loch Ness solved. 938 01:28:24,240 --> 01:28:27,038 Nessasaurus Marus. 939 01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:33,270 (murmurings) 940 01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:40,396 (man) A bit murky. 941 01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:45,229 - Did they balls up the slides? - What's going on? 942 01:28:49,960 --> 01:28:52,428 You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I apologise. 943 01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:55,154 Ladies and gentlemen... Sit down, Bob. Sit down. 944 01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:57,112 I cancelled dinner for this. 945 01:28:57,320 --> 01:28:59,788 - It's all right. Just a mistake. - I hope so. 946 01:29:00,000 --> 01:29:05,996 When you see this next picture, I hope you ask yourself the question: 947 01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:10,671 - "Where's Waldo?" - Waldo? What's Waldo? 948 01:29:13,720 --> 01:29:16,598 (barrage of questions) 949 01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:30,910 As far as we're concerned, this is purely the Americans. 950 01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:34,829 Who's Waldo? I have no idea who Waldo is! 951 01:29:42,880 --> 01:29:47,317 Listen. The whole thing was a ridiculous hoax. I never saw them. 952 01:29:47,520 --> 01:29:51,798 I had the pictures made up by computer before I even came. 953 01:29:52,960 --> 01:29:54,234 Please... 954 01:29:57,560 --> 01:30:02,156 John, you are either the biggest bloody fool that ever lived, 955 01:30:02,360 --> 01:30:07,036 or you are the biggest bloody fool that ever lived. 956 01:30:08,520 --> 01:30:10,238 Thank you. 957 01:30:11,480 --> 01:30:13,436 Thank you for everything. 958 01:30:15,640 --> 01:30:18,074 - Where are you going? - Home. 959 01:30:21,360 --> 01:30:22,839 Good luck. 960 01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:28,195 (barrage of questions) 961 01:30:30,040 --> 01:30:32,156 He saw the pictures. 962 01:30:32,360 --> 01:30:36,069 Tell Dr Binns about the photos. 963 01:30:41,880 --> 01:30:45,190 What photos would they be, exactly? 964 01:30:47,920 --> 01:30:49,558 Well...? 965 01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:56,157 I'm waiting. 966 01:31:00,440 --> 01:31:03,955 (music: "Will You Go, Lassie, Go") 967 01:32:13,360 --> 01:32:16,238 "Arrietty had not been asleep. 968 01:32:16,440 --> 01:32:21,560 "She'd been lying under her knitted coverlet, staring up at the ceiling. 969 01:32:21,760 --> 01:32:23,671 "It was an interesting ceiling. 970 01:32:23,880 --> 01:32:27,793 "Pod had built Arrietty's bedroom out of two cigar boxes, 971 01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:32,232 "and on the ceiling, lovely painted ladies dressed in..." 972 01:32:33,280 --> 01:32:36,989 - What is it? - There's a car blocking the drive. 973 01:32:57,120 --> 01:33:00,271 Do you realise that you're blocking the drive? 974 01:33:00,480 --> 01:33:02,152 I do now. 975 01:33:02,920 --> 01:33:05,480 Well, what do you intend to do about it? 976 01:33:05,680 --> 01:33:08,433 What would you like me to do about it? 977 01:33:08,640 --> 01:33:13,111 # Oh, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 978 01:33:13,320 --> 01:33:17,472 # With the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 979 01:33:17,680 --> 01:33:22,800 # No, never will I roam For I know my place is home 980 01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:27,710 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 981 01:33:27,920 --> 01:33:32,471 # Oh, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 982 01:33:32,680 --> 01:33:37,037 # With the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 983 01:33:37,240 --> 01:33:42,234 # No, never will I roam For I know my place is home 984 01:33:42,440 --> 01:33:47,309 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 985 01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:56,835 # Photographs, kerosene, light up my darkness 986 01:33:57,040 --> 01:33:59,349 # Light it up, light it up 987 01:33:59,560 --> 01:34:04,156 # I can still feel the touch of your thin blue jeans 988 01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:09,480 # Running down the alley I've got my eyes all over you, babe 989 01:34:09,680 --> 01:34:11,398 # Oh, baby 990 01:34:11,600 --> 01:34:16,390 # Oh, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 991 01:34:16,600 --> 01:34:20,798 # With the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 992 01:34:21,000 --> 01:34:25,994 # No, never will I roam For I know my place is home 993 01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:31,035 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 994 01:34:35,360 --> 01:34:38,557 # I'll be sailing 995 01:34:40,440 --> 01:34:43,193 # Oh, yeah 996 01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:50,637 # Oh, I've got lightning in my veins 997 01:34:50,840 --> 01:34:54,037 # Tripping like a handle on a slot machine 998 01:34:55,600 --> 01:34:59,718 # Love may still exist in another place 999 01:34:59,920 --> 01:35:04,789 # I'm just yanking back the handle No expression on my face 1000 01:35:05,000 --> 01:35:09,676 # Oh, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 1001 01:35:09,880 --> 01:35:13,839 # With the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 1002 01:35:14,040 --> 01:35:19,273 # No, never will I roam For I know my place is home 1003 01:35:19,480 --> 01:35:24,110 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 1004 01:35:24,320 --> 01:35:28,916 # Oh, the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 1005 01:35:29,120 --> 01:35:33,193 # With the words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 1006 01:35:33,400 --> 01:35:38,713 # No, never will I roam For I know my place is home 1007 01:35:38,920 --> 01:35:43,630 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 1008 01:35:48,600 --> 01:35:53,355 # The rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum 1009 01:35:53,560 --> 01:35:57,997 # The words "I love you" rolling off my tongue 1010 01:35:58,200 --> 01:36:03,035 # Never will I roam For I know my place is home 1011 01:36:03,240 --> 01:36:07,995 # Where the ocean meets the sky I'll be sailing 1012 01:36:08,200 --> 01:36:11,397 # Mm mm mm... # 1013 01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:23,156 1014 01:36:23,360 --> 01:36:25,316 Loch ness 1996