Get out of the way!
Sorry!
- Did you hurt yourself, Tommy boy? - I zigged instead of zagging.
Maybe you should stick to a horse and carriage. Still, she's a beauty.
The world must be treating you well to afford such a thing.
- Just my inheritance. - Come into some money, did you?
- So, who's passed on? - My grandfather on my mother's side.
- An aristocrat, God rest his soul. - Sounds like a fine man.
I'd drink a toast to him if I had a shilling to my name.
Here, it's on me.
It'll take three pints to do a proper job and this isn't even enough for two.
- That's all I've got. - Care to join me at Sullivan's?
I wish I could, but I'm on my way to Castle O'Dell.
Night's coming. And they say when the sun goes down,
the queen of the faerie folk reclaims the castle.
- I'll give her your regards. - Don't say I didn't warn you.
Computer, replace damaged tyre.
Saints preserve us!
I thought I'd die from the shock.
Seamus, you're not great
for telling things how they are.
I do add to stories to liven things up.
But with God as my witness,
I saw Tom Paris
use unnatural powers to fix his wheel.
Tommy boy practising unholy magic?
Next thing, you'll tell me
you want to pay for your own drinks.
Make fun, but he was heading for.
Castle O'Dell only an hour before dark!
Leave it, Seamus.
Can't a day go by without you making an arse of yourself?
Tom Paris is odd, coming and going as if he built the place.
That's right, and where does he go?
He's shifty and so are his friends.
If you're talking about Katie O'Clare, watch your mouth.
You know what they say. "Birds of a feather..."
They also say,
"Superstition is the religion of fools."
Kilmanin, 1846.
What?
"Old Patsy" in County Meath
spoke of a band of spirit folk
who came to Kilmanin in '46.
Kilmanin? Have you heard of it, doc?
No, this is the first.
You won't find it on any map.
Not anymore.
It wasn't much different to Fair Haven
until these strangers arrived.
The townsfolk welcomed them.
After all, "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."
But they regretted their hospitality.
The cows stopped giving milk, the potatoes grew rotten.
- Then people went missing. - Goon!
- It's true! - What happened to them?
They were taken... to the Otherworld.
When winter came and the nights grew longer,
the entire town vanished.
Every post, every nail, into thin air.
Never to be seen again.
You suggest Fair Haven will go the way of Kilmanin because of new folk?
I suggest you keep an eye on Tom Paris and his cohorts.
- Not to mention your lady friend. - So Katie's a goblin now?
She's cast a spell on you.
If you ask me...
- Katie? - Am I interrupting?
Just Seamus up to his old tricks again.
- Good to see you. What will it be? - The usual, please.
One cup of tea coming up.
Snatch any children on the way into town, Katie?
- What? - Never mind. I missed your smile.
- What have you been doing? - Helping my aunt and uncle on the farm.
They're not as spry as they were.
But their goat could argue Mossie Donegan's talking pig under the table.
Bring him into the bar.
- We'll arrange a debate. - I will.
They opened a nickelodeon in Dooleen. I thought it might be nice to go.
I must tend the bar. If I'd known I'd have made arrangements.
- We can go another time. - No, you've already made the trip.
- It'd be a shame for you to leave. - I could be convinced to stay.
If you'd be up for a game of... rings.
Let's go!
Computer, one dozen Broadway lilies.
- Something tells me that's not lunch. - I already ate.
- Who they for? - A friend.
And this friend wouldn't happen to be an Irish lass, would she?
- Aren't you due on the bridge? - Watch yourself, Harry.
Country girls aren't simple.
Maggie O'Halloran could be more than you can handle.
- Heard about your traffic accident. - That was a clutch malfunction.
That program's an accident waiting to happen.
You've run Fair Haven around the clock. I've had to replace three holo-emitters.
- I ran a full diagnostic today. It's fine. - Whatever you say.
But... when your quaint seaside town starts to depolarise, don't come to me.
Excuse me, I'm late for a moonlight stroll.
- Sure you don't need a chaperone? - Not with your driving record!
I think I know just what will make his date a little more interesting.
Just don't blow out any more holo-emitters.
What are we doing, Seamus, skulking in the dark, spying on folks?
- Milo, have you got the willies? - What if Tom Paris is a demon?
If we're caught, he'll cast a spell on us.
Stop squawking or he will catch us. Come on, he's getting away!
A captain is only as good as his crew.
It must be lonely on the sea with only the stars to guide you.
Sometimes during the night watch, with the timbers creaking
and the water stretching as far as the eye can see,
you can believe you're the only man in the world.
Maybe you should think of settling on dry land.
I do... as often as I think of you.
- Can I ask you something? - Of course.
- Would you like to hold my hand? - If you promise to hold mine back.
Look! He's got a contraption in his hand.
Maybe we're doing this wrong. We should tell Father Mulligan.
He won't hear of the supernatural.
- If you fill his collection box, he will. - True.
- Weren't you promised to Ray Ewan? - Not anymore.
- Can I ask you something else? - Please.
- Would you like to kiss me? - Is that a trick question?
Holy Mother of God!
Tom!
- Don't you have anything better to do? - Boy, she turned on you!
- I could've been trampled. - Relax, the holodeck safeties are on.
All right, change her back!
Chakotay to Paris and Kim, report to the bridge.
On our way.
- What about Maggie? - She'll be fine. Let her graze!
Amen.
Please be seated.
I recently heard a tale of two farmers... who shall remain nameless.
One broke the other's plough and refused to replace it.
His comeuppance was served not by the hand of God,
but by the other farmer in the form of a clogged irrigation ditch.
Do you think their disagreement stopped there?
Of course not.
They go on just as the heathen did of old.
After all, one spiteful act deserves another. Right? Wrong!
What these sinners have forgotten is that they are neighbours.
He's in love with the sound of his own voice.
...man or woman, parent or child, or photons and force fields...
it's been said...
Or perhaps he's been nipping at the sacramental wine.
As such, our community is everything.
It is our world and we're a part of it, just as a branch is part of a tree.
Do you see branches tearing leaves off one another?
No!
Do you see roots hoarding water from the trunk?
No!
Do you see...
Easy, Maggie.
Father.
Easy now...
Did you make a wrong turn on your way to the milking shed?
Nothing like that, Father.
- Something terrible's happened. - What now?
This was Maggie O'Halloran. The spirits have turned her into a cow.
Maggie's been eaten by a cow?
- Did you see these spirits? - That we did. Tom Paris and Harry Kim.
I hate to disappoint but you've been the victim of a practical joke.
Tom Paris is a prankster.
It was unholy magic, I tell you. We saw it with our own eyes.
When did this alleged transformation take place?
- Last night. - That settles it.
This couldn't be Maggie. I saw her this morning on my way to church.
She was tending her flowers. She's probably there now.
That's enough excitement for one morning.
This mass is over. Go in peace.
- Leave the cow. - All right, Father. Excuse us, Maggie.
Take care, Maggie.
- Maggie! - Good morning, boys.
Is everything all right? You're looking a little out of sorts.
I must admit, I'm not quite myself today.
This will sound odd but I feel like I just woke up from the strangest dream
and I don't remember going to sleep.
That does sound odd.
Do you remember anything about last night?
I was with Harry Kim. He chatted me up at the Ox and Lamb.
- We went for a walk. - What did you do?
We talked. What kind of a girl do you think I am?
- Now, we weren't implying anything. - No.
Do you recall anything else?
Did anything out of the ordinary happen? Anything at all?
I don't remember.
- Tell us about the dream, then. - It was most unpleasant.
I was walking round town with a bell around my neck.
Somehow I wound up in church. Everyone was staring.
You were there, Seamus and you, Milo.
The next thing I knew, I was tending my flowers just as you boys walked up.
- That's quite a story, Maggie. - Can we get a quick one?
Maybe just a wee taste.
So I said to Harry, "I'm not one for rainy days and grey skies."
As soon as the words were out he called the spirits to do his bidding.
A second later, not a cloud in the sky!
I was at Ballahick Farm with Mary. She was playing near the well.
She lost her footing and fell in.
I didn't know what to do. So I ran to the Colby's for help.
But when we returned there was Mary in the meadow talking with Katie O'Clare.
There wasn't a scratch on her.
Katie said I must have been mistaken when I saw her fall.
- There was no mistake. - I saw something strange, too.
I hesitated to say anything for fear you'd think me mad.
But after listening to your stories today, you've a right to know.
Well, speak up.
Last Sunday, after his sermon,
I saw Father Mulligan vanish into thin air.
He's one of them! Father Mulligan, Tommy boy, Katie. They're spirit folk.
What about Neelix who runs the Ox and Lamb?
If he doesn't look like a leprechaun, who does?
They're probably at Castle O'Dell conspiring against us.
That's enough! There've been some unusual goings on.
But should we run Katie and her friends out of town?
Or line them up in front of a firing squad. Is that what you want?
These people have been our neighbours, our friends. Let's not forget that.
We can't do nothing while they take over Fair Haven.
I'm not saying we do nothing. But let's do this like civilised people.
What do you suggest?
We sit them down and discuss it over tea?
- You're lovelier than ever, Katie. - Thank you.
Open it.
"The Faerie Queene" by Edmund Spenser. Thank you, Michael.
It's the longest English language poem and the first to use a nine-line stanza.
- I'll read it tonight. I love epic poetry. - Really? I didn't know that.
It seems there's a lot of things I don't know about you.
There's been some talk about you and your friends.
Strange things have been happening. Folk say you're to blame.
- What kind of strange things? - People using unholy magic.
Vanishing into thin air, changing the weather.
Would this have anything to do with your reading suggestion?
- As a matter of fact... - Don't tell me.
They say I'm the Faerie Queene.
They could tell me you're the devil and I wouldn't care.
I'll try not to take that personally.
The sad truth of the matter is... I don't know who you are.
- What do you mean? - You've been lying to me, Katie.
I've been checking with friends in County Clare.
- It seems no one's heard of you. - It's a big county.
And I've got a lot of friends.
You've been evasive from the day we met. I was a fool not to see it.
Where do you go when you leave here?
There have been times I wanted to talk.
To tell you about my day, about a book I'd read, to say hello.
But I can't because I don't know where to find you.
What are you hiding, Katie?
I'll admit I've misled you about some things,
but never about anything important.
And I wasn't lying when I said I care about you.
- I wish I could believe that. - You can.
I didn't want to deceive you,
but under the circumstances I had no choice.
Circumstances?
Michael... there are things about me you may not be able to understand.
Try me.
Who are you, Katie?
Where are you really from?
The truth.
Computer, end program.
How did he know? Those are questions no holodeck character should ask.
What did you do?
I added a few bells and whistles to make the characters more realistic.
Something's wrong. They're not simple country folk anymore.
- Report. - We've worn out our welcome.
It's the first time we've run a holodeck program non-stop.
- There are damaged subroutines. - So much for my open-door policy.
Shut it down and repair the damaged systems.
Everything was fine until someone started turning people into cows.
Computer, display Fair Haven character, Michael Sullivan.
Tom...
Where am I? Where's Katie?
- He shouldn't know he's in the lab. - I've isolated the subroutines.
- Where the hell am I? - It's all right, Michael.
- What is this place? - Try to relax.
I'll start busting heads!
- His perceptual filter's malfunctioning. - What?
- It's OK. We're trying to help. - There. Look at these.
They're algorithms to keep him oblivious to things off the program's parameters.
- They're off-line. - Give me a minute.
- That should do it. - How are you feeling, Michael?
Never better.
Liam's been looking for you. You're the only man to beat him at arm wrestling.
- He wants a re-match. - Tell him, he's got one.
- I'll do that. - That was easy enough.
But it looks like all the characters have the same malfunction.
Don't tell me we have to go through every one of them?
If we use the primary control port in Sullivan's pub,
we could reset the filters with a single command sequence.
- I guess we'll see you later. - Looking forward to it.
Computer, resume Fair Haven program and transfer Michael back to his bar.
Danny, come here!
Tell Dr Fitzgerald to meet me in the church.
Hurry, lad!
We thought we'd reset his perceptual filters until we looked at his subroutines.
- He was just playing along. - Never underestimate an Irish hologram.
We'll have to reprogram Michael.
Let's hope he didn't share the experience with the others.
- These algorithms should do the trick. - Good luck!
- What the hell was I thinking? - A minor malfunction.
Well, that's the problem.
I've got a boyfriend who malfunctions.
- Tom and Harry will fix him. - If they can't?
One piece of advice you've given me - tell the truth.
Hate to break it to you, Michael,
but I'm a starship captain and you're a 300 deciwatt holodeck program.
- I couldn't do it. - In that case, you'll have to get creative.
I'm not superstitious, doc.
- But I've seen things I can't explain. - You're not the only one.
I thought we had an epidemic on our hands.
- But this is no fever. - No, it's not.
Last night I was talking to Katie then I was spirited away.
- They took you? Where? - Maybe to the Otherworld. I don't know.
- Tom Paris and Harry were there. - What did they want?
I'm not sure. They talked about me like I wasn't there.
Saying things about Fair Haven... that we knew too much.
- Oh, Lord. - That's not all.
They were saying about coming to the pub tonight to change the town.
- What does that mean? - I'm damned if I know.
How did you get away?
With all the talk about us knowing too much,
I figured if I pretended nothing was out of the ordinary, they'd let me go.
And sure enough, that's what they did.
I wonder if this is how things started in Kilmanin in '46.
I'm not sure what they have in mind but we'd better be prepared.
We're in luck. Nobody's home.
If we're to fight them, we've got to use the right ammunition.
Biddy Ramsay gave me this before she passed on.
She knew about faerie magic and how to fight it.
- She learned it all from this book. - I doubt it says about using rifles.
- You'll be surprised what a bullet stops. - I don't like this one bit. Guns, Seamus?
Under normal circumstances, I'd agree, but these aren't normal circumstances.
Maybe you'd like us to be civilised.
Where did that get you? A ticket to the Otherworld!
We don't know what the spirit folk have in store.
We don't know much about anything.
Milo's acting like holy war has been declared.
Relax, Sullivan! The rifles are a last resort.
Besides, we've incantations, which are more lethal to spirit folk than weapons.
That's how we'll force them back.
And we've got red twine to stop them changing shape.
- Don't forget about the ash berries. - Ash berries.
That's how you keep them from using their powers against you.
They've been among us for weeks now, pretending to be our friends,
lying to us, making mischief.
- What's next? - What is next?
I'm not going to let them run roughshod over our town.
We can't rest until we've driven every one of them out.
They're here! Tom Paris and Harry Kim are in Sullivan's right now.
Who's with me?
Let us explain. You're making a mistake.
The mistake we made was letting you into Fair Haven.
- What's that? Shoot it! - Wait! That's delicate... technology.
- Holodeck controls are off-line. - A voice from the Otherworld!
Emergency overrides are malfunctioning.
- Computer, freeze program. - 62% compliance.
- They're getting away! - After them!
Computer, exit!
- Gunfire? - Two shots at the controls.
- We can't deactivate the program. - Where are Tom and Harry?
St Mary's. It looks like your parishioners are holding them.
Can't blame them for being frightened. They must think we're sorcerers.
We could use some magic now to get our people back.
- Transporters? - Too many stray photons to get a lock.
We should enter the holodeck and take them by force.
The hole-characters have weapons. We'd risk armed conflict.
Let's just pull the plug. Cut power to the hologrid.
- That would purge the program. - Exactly.
We'd lose Fair Haven and its people.
- They're holograms. - And they're not violent.
- They wouldn't harm anyone. - You can't be certain.
I am and I'd like to find a less drastic solution.
Captain, Michael can be reprogrammed. Tom and Harry can't.
One problem at a time, B'Elanna.
The people may not be real, but our feelings toward them are.
I won't destroy these relationships if we can find another way.
Would transport enhancers on Tom and Harry cut through the interference?
- I believe so. - Good.
We just need to get someone close to them. Doctor.
A few words of inspiration should get me within reach.
Your mobile emitter will isolate you from the malfunctions.
Good idea. Stand by to cut power to the hologrid in case things get out of hand.
In the meantime, I believe your flock needs tending.
"From the lips of the heavenly saints above, to the ears of the dark spirits,
"may your spectral forms be cast back to the Otherworld!
"Back to the Otherworld!"
There must be some trick to these incantations.
What do you make of this, Seamus?
- We should just tell the truth. - Good idea!
You want to tell them they're holograms?
You left your charms at Sullivan's.
This is the talisman you used on Maggie. Maybe we should turn them into cows.
It's a misunderstanding. We are not spirit folk.
We've heard enough of your lies.
Tie them to the lamp post in the square and show them how spirit folk
were dealt with in the olden days.
Leave them alone. There's no need for foolish threats.
You better watch whose side you're on. You're not above suspicion.
- We're turning on one another now? - We are, if you choose them over us.
Sinners!
Sinners... all of you.
You've turned a house of worship into a prison!
This is where we pledge our love for our fellow man, not condemnation.
You should all be ashamed!
A rousing sermon but you're not going to find many takers tonight.
Not after your vanishing act.
Grace Declan saw you disappear into thin air.
I'd say that sounds a wee bit unholy.
You're in league with them! Tie him up with the others.
Listen to yourselves. You're letting fear get the best of you.
- Doctor to Janeway... - What's this?
...fire and brimstone aren't working!
- Look, Seamus. Another talisman. - Quick, get if off of him!
- Beam him out of there. - His program's been disengaged.
What were you planning on doing with these?
Those devices will allow us to leave. Put them on our coats and we'll go.
- You'd like us to believe that. - Something tells me these are charms.
God knows what powers you'll have.
- This is no charm. It's a machine. - They won't tell us the truth.
They'll tell us the truth.
There's more than one way to pluck the wings off a pixie.
We'll induce a trance. Give me Biddy Ramsay's spoon.
Keep your eyes on the silverware, Father.
I hope you know this is blasphemous.
This is ridiculous. I can't be hypnotised.
I can't isolate the Doctor's program.
He's been integrated into the Fair Haven matrix. He's vulnerable.
Tell us the words.
How do we banish the spirit folk to the Otherworld?
- There is no other world. Only Voyager. - Voyager.
Federation starship, Intrepid Class. Registry number N-C-C-74656.
- You're from a vessel? - Mm-hm.
- He's talking gibberish. - Maybe not.
This ship, is that where you took me?
Look here. It says if you can get a spirit to reveal his true name,
you'll be impervious to his charms.
- What is your true name? - I haven't decided on one yet.
Katie's on that ship, isn't she? Tell me where to find her.
- I'm sorry, Michael, I can't do that. - Then I'm asking the wrong person.
- Tell me how to get to Voyager. - What are you doing, Sullivan?
No man who's gone to the Otherworld has come back.
I have.
How do I get there?
- The mobile emitter has been activated. - Lock on to the signal.
My cousin went to America. He saw some strange things but nothing like this.
You're not in America.
This is a starship. It's called...
Voyager.
I know.
- Should I transfer him to the holodeck? - No.
My name isn't Katie O'Clare. It's Kathryn Janeway.
Captain Kathryn Janeway.
It's going to be difficult to explain. Maybe it's best if I just show you.
You've seen my world. It seems fair that I should see yours.
Captain?
So, this really is a starship.
How can that be possible?
Have you read "The Time Machine" by H G Wells?
Are you saying you travel through time?
In a manner of speaking.
That's Patrick Gibson and Frank. They work on the wharf.
They're in my pub every Saturday for the rings tournament.
You'll find lots of familiar faces here.
- We've been in your town for months. - Why?
We're explorers.
I'll not let you off that easy, Kathryn Janeway.
There must be more interesting places than Fair Haven.
- Is there a place you'd rather be? - I guess that leaves but one question.
- How long are you planning on staying? - That depends on if we're still welcome.
My door is always open.
But you're the captain of a starship. I'm a barkeep.
Being from different worlds doesn't mean we can't care for each other.
Tuvok to Janeway. The situation has escalated.
The townspeople have piled kindling at the base of three lamp posts.
Stand by.
Take them outside now!
- Stay back! - What are you doing?
That might not be Michael. A demon could have taken his shape.
It's me, Milo. I've been to Voyager and brought Katie back.
I've come to resolve our differences peacefully.
Peacefully? Is that what you said in Kilmanin?
They had nothing to do with what happened in Kilmanin.
We're sorry for what's happened. We never meant to frighten anyone.
Seamus, you were right.
They're different from us but not so we can't be friends.
And we're not spirit folk.
Our technology may seem like magic, but I assure you, it's not.
Katie showed me things beyond our comprehension.
They have machines I can't describe but they haven't used them against us.
Quite the opposite.
Milo, you said you didn't like the rain. Young Harry Kim made it go away.
Edith Mulchaey said that Katie pulled her daughter from the well.
- These aren't the deeds of spirits. - They turned Maggie into a cow!
That'll never happen again, I swear.
There, you see. We have his word.
And if we can't trust a man's word, what can we trust?
If you want, we'll leave and never bother you again.
But we'd prefer to find some way to keep our friendship alive.
Captain?
I would like to keep playing rings with Harry and Tom,
keep having Neelix's cabbage at the Ox and Lamb,
keep taking walks with Katie.
Let's not turn our backs on these people. If we do we're only punishing ourselves.
Just because we're from different worlds
doesn't mean we can't care for each other.
If we retain the program, we can't run it round the clock.
- Not until we've repaired these systems. - Not ever!
We pushed the limits of holotechnology. We're asking for trouble.
I'm afraid we're going to have to close your open-door policy.
Yes, ma'am.
Should I purge the characters' memories?
No, leave them.
They think we're spacemen. It won't exactly be like old times.
We accept aliens with new technologies.
Let's hope the Fair Haven people will accept us.
But before we begin repairs, how about one more round at Sullivan's?
My treat.
You may be from the moon, but I say I could still whip you at rings.
- You're on. - Hello, Harry.
I catch up with you later.
I've been told there's gold in Glen Abbey.
Could you find it with one of your fancy machines?
- Just follow the rainbow! - Rainbow?
- I didn't think you'd speak to me again. - I can forgive and forget.
It's not often you meet a handsome young man from outer space.
- What's this? Christmas come early? - It has for you. Open it.
"A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" by Mark Twain.
I've not read this one.
It's about two people from different times who... fall in love, among other things.
Sounds familiar. Maybe I have read it.
Thank you, Katie. Or Kathryn now, is it?
They say that if you know a spirit's name it renders you impervious to her charms.
- Any truth in that? - Not a word.
I'm glad to hear it.