1
00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:11,249
Excuse us.

2
00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:14,282
Jeez, get a room or something.

3
00:01:14,327 --> 00:01:16,261
All right!

4
00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:18,763
They're getting charged
for those.

5
00:01:18,798 --> 00:01:20,891
Those books aren't cheap,
either.

6
00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:23,265
<i>What are you looking at?</i>

7
00:01:26,773 --> 00:01:28,764
<i>Hey, Gerry,</i>
<i>isn't that your bus?</i>

8
00:01:28,808 --> 00:01:30,537
<i>Great way</i>
<i>to start the summer.</i>

9
00:01:30,576 --> 00:01:34,410
Wait! Stop the bus! Stop!

10
00:01:34,447 --> 00:01:37,780
<i>Ha ha ha!</i>
<i>Go, fat boy, go!</i>

11
00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:41,617
<i># Everybody wants to live,</i>
<i>and they want to live #</i>

12
00:01:41,654 --> 00:01:46,455
<i># And everybody wants to love,</i>
<i>and they want to love #</i>

13
00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:50,155
<i># Everybody wants to be #</i>

14
00:01:50,196 --> 00:01:53,791
<i># Closer to free #</i>

15
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,461
<i># Yeah, and yeah, yeah #</i>

16
00:01:56,502 --> 00:01:58,800
<i># Everybody wants respect #</i>

17
00:01:58,838 --> 00:02:00,305
<i>Foul ball! Strike two!</i>

18
00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:02,068
<i>Little help here, son.</i>

19
00:02:02,108 --> 00:02:04,235
<i>Come on. Toss it over.</i>

20
00:02:04,277 --> 00:02:06,040
<i># Once in a while #</i>

21
00:02:06,078 --> 00:02:07,443
Unh!

22
00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:11,608
Give it another try, son.

23
00:02:11,651 --> 00:02:13,118
Right here!

24
00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:17,455
Over the fence, son!

25
00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:22,121
Here!

26
00:02:22,161 --> 00:02:23,719
Unh!

27
00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:35,505
<i># Everybody one,</i>
<i>everybody two #</i>

28
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:39,477
<i># Everybody three #</i>

29
00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:43,778
<i># Everybody needs to touch,</i>
<i>you know, now and then #</i>

30
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:48,776
<i># And everybody wants</i>
<i>a good, good friend #</i>

31
00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:52,655
<i># Everybody wants to be</i>
<i>closer to free #</i>

32
00:02:52,692 --> 00:02:54,819
Lemonade, lemonade.

33
00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:02,031
<i># Everybody wants to live #</i>

34
00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:03,729
<i># And they want to live #</i>

35
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:08,069
<i>Mom!</i>

36
00:03:08,107 --> 00:03:12,271
<i># Everybody wants to be #</i>

37
00:03:12,311 --> 00:03:15,303
<i># Closer to free #</i>

38
00:03:22,555 --> 00:03:23,920
Hello?

39
00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:25,423
<i>We're in here, honey.</i>

40
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:26,789
<i>Come on, son.</i>

41
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:30,494
Why is everybody home?

42
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:32,623
Did someone die?

43
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,290
Who's this?

44
00:03:38,204 --> 00:03:41,196
Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson.

45
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,265
Islanders fan, huh?

46
00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:45,436
Team of the future, I say.

47
00:03:45,478 --> 00:03:48,447
Yeah.
Whatever, I'm out of here.

48
00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:50,449
Hold those horses, cowboy.

49
00:03:50,483 --> 00:03:52,110
Mr. Johnson is your guest...

50
00:03:52,151 --> 00:03:56,611
and he's here to talk to you
about a special summer camp.

51
00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:59,216
A camp designed
just for you, Gerry.

52
00:03:59,258 --> 00:04:01,123
Summer camp? No way!

53
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,754
I have plans for the summer.
I'm gonna hang out!

54
00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:06,458
Come on, honey.
He's got a videotape.

55
00:04:06,499 --> 00:04:08,228
Why don't
we take a little peek?

56
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,132
Why don't we not?

57
00:04:14,606 --> 00:04:17,166
<i>Greetings, future campers.</i>

58
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:21,270
I'm Alice Bushkin,
and this is Harvey...

59
00:04:21,313 --> 00:04:23,747
and we've been
the owners and operators...

60
00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:27,843
of Camp Hope
for 32 wonderful summers.

61
00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:31,219
Won't you join us for number 33?

62
00:04:37,529 --> 00:04:40,555
Whoa!

63
00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:41,930
Hmm.

64
00:04:43,802 --> 00:04:45,861
<i>What's that?</i>

65
00:04:45,904 --> 00:04:47,735
This is called "the Blob."

66
00:04:47,773 --> 00:04:49,502
"The Blob," huh?

67
00:04:49,541 --> 00:04:52,942
<i>You can go</i>
<i>as high as 15 feet.</i>

68
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:54,605
Wow.

69
00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,849
Wow, go-karts.

70
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,616
<i>How many times</i>
<i>can you go on the go-karts?</i>

71
00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,555
<i>As much as you want, Gerry.</i>

72
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:08,855
But be careful.
They can be addicting.

73
00:05:11,263 --> 00:05:12,753
I'm only kidding.

74
00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,891
Hi, I'm Pat Finley!

75
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,901
I've been coming here
since I was 10 years old.

76
00:05:16,935 --> 00:05:18,232
Want to know why?

77
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,738
Because Camp Hope
is the fun way to lose weight.

78
00:05:20,772 --> 00:05:22,740
It's a fat camp!

79
00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:26,210
Are you crazy? No way!

80
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:29,441
I'm not going to a camp
with a bunch of fat-loads!

81
00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:32,450
- Gerry!
- That's not kind, Gerry.

82
00:05:32,484 --> 00:05:34,452
We are doing this
for your own good.

83
00:05:34,486 --> 00:05:36,317
We gotta nip this thing
in the bud.

84
00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:40,950
I'm fine.
This is a joke, right?

85
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,051
You're fatter than I am.
Why don't you go?

86
00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:46,030
You show your father
some respect.

87
00:05:46,064 --> 00:05:48,430
I think we should have
a little powwow...

88
00:05:48,467 --> 00:05:52,631
and we will call you
with our decision later.

89
00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:55,196
I'll give you my decision
right now.

90
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,901
I'm not going.

91
00:06:02,147 --> 00:06:04,206
<i>This is</i>
<i>Captain Harris speaking...</i>

92
00:06:06,318 --> 00:06:08,718
<i>...cruising altitude</i>
<i>of 29,000 feet.</i>

93
00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:11,018
<i>Those of you on the left side</i>
<i>of the aircraft...</i>

94
00:06:11,056 --> 00:06:13,047
<i>have a nice view of</i>
<i>the Blue Ridge Mountains.</i>

95
00:06:13,091 --> 00:06:15,116
Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day.

96
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,458
I've got a little surprise
for you.

97
00:06:17,496 --> 00:06:19,361
Hmm?

98
00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:20,694
Huh?

99
00:06:20,732 --> 00:06:22,131
<i>...but in your seats...</i>

100
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,727
<i>we request that you keep</i>
<i>your seat belts fastened.</i>

101
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,601
Cutie.

102
00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:29,038
Great.

103
00:06:34,546 --> 00:06:37,242
Headed to fat camp?

104
00:06:37,282 --> 00:06:40,217
No. Why do you say that?

105
00:06:40,252 --> 00:06:43,221
Because you're fat.
Is that your dad?

106
00:06:43,255 --> 00:06:47,123
No. Why do you say that?

107
00:06:47,159 --> 00:06:50,219
Because he's fat, too.

108
00:06:50,262 --> 00:06:51,923
Well, so are you.

109
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,760
I know. That's why
I'm going to fat camp.

110
00:06:53,799 --> 00:06:56,666
- I'm Roy.
- I'm Gerry.

111
00:06:57,969 --> 00:06:59,732
I guess I'm going.

112
00:06:59,771 --> 00:07:00,931
I knew it!

113
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:02,530
And that's your dad, too,
isn't it?

114
00:07:02,574 --> 00:07:05,202
- Hell no!
- You'll love camp, man.

115
00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:06,403
Camp is awesome.

116
00:07:06,444 --> 00:07:09,379
No one picks on you because
you're not the fat kid.

117
00:07:09,414 --> 00:07:11,848
Everybody's the fat kid.

118
00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:15,148
Stick with me, Gerry,
because I'm the man.

119
00:07:16,688 --> 00:07:20,715
Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest
ghost stories you ever heard.

120
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,721
Yes, have no fear,
I have returned.

121
00:07:24,763 --> 00:07:26,890
I got a rookie here,
and his name's Gerry...

122
00:07:26,932 --> 00:07:28,923
so show him
the same amount of respect...

123
00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:31,492
that you show me--none.

124
00:07:43,782 --> 00:07:45,079
Excuse me!

125
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,084
I'm looking for
several portly adolescents.

126
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,211
That's us.
You're looking good, Pat.

127
00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,745
Tell me something
I don't know.

128
00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:54,224
Let's load her up!

129
00:07:54,259 --> 00:07:56,352
Hey, hey!
How you doing, guys?

130
00:07:56,394 --> 00:07:59,090
- Phillip, how are you?
- This is Gerry.

131
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,927
Hey, Gerry.
I'm Pat Finley.

132
00:08:00,966 --> 00:08:02,695
I'm sure you recognize me
from my work...

133
00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:05,532
in the Camp Hope
promotional video.

134
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,231
We have
a little tradition, Gerry.

135
00:08:07,272 --> 00:08:09,206
The new guy drives to camp.
Right, guys?

136
00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:12,267
Keep it under 70.
We got some weird local cops.

137
00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:13,743
You drive a stick, right?

138
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,746
No, but I can try.

139
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,714
No, no, no.
Sorry, cannot risk it.

140
00:08:17,749 --> 00:08:20,718
Come here a second.
I gotta ask you something.

141
00:08:20,752 --> 00:08:22,583
Something very serious.

142
00:08:23,922 --> 00:08:27,050
Are you ready for the best
damn summer of your life?

143
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,992
Yeah!

144
00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:31,222
<i>Is everybody gonna</i>
<i>behave themselves this summer?</i>

145
00:08:31,263 --> 00:08:34,494
<i>- No!</i>
<i>- Good! That's what I expect!</i>

146
00:08:34,532 --> 00:08:38,229
<i>Can't do it.</i>
<i>Gotta get back to the camp!</i>

147
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,397
<i>- Pull over, please!</i>
<i>- Don't bug me!</i>

148
00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:43,271
<i>- All right!</i>
<i>- Yeah!</i>

149
00:08:43,308 --> 00:08:45,572
<i>Ha ha!</i>
<i>Psyched you out!</i>

150
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,942
<i>- You stink, Pat!</i>
<i>- That's not funny!</i>

151
00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:49,970
<i>I thought that was</i>
<i>pretty amusing, myself.</i>

152
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,246
<i>Garner, where you from?</i>

153
00:08:53,285 --> 00:08:56,311
<i>- Long Island.</i>
<i>- Never heard of it.</i>

154
00:09:00,792 --> 00:09:03,522
<i>Sam, don't lean</i>
<i>your head out the window.</i>

155
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,529
<i>We lost six kids</i>
<i>like that last summer.</i>

156
00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:07,360
<i>I'm not going</i>
<i>to pick up your head.</i>

157
00:09:07,399 --> 00:09:09,367
<i>I don't need it anyway!</i>

158
00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:13,701
<i>Camp Hope, everybody!</i>
<i>Best place on earth!</i>

159
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:19,608
<i>Camp Hope!</i>
<i>Camp Hope! Camp Hope!</i>

160
00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,272
Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!

161
00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:41,992
Mm-hmm.

162
00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:46,197
All right, now in
a nice, orderly fashion...

163
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,534
get off my bus!

164
00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:50,504
<i>It's stuck!</i>

165
00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:53,238
<i>I don't know what to do!</i>
<i>It's stuck!</i>

166
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:04,749
- Heads up!
- Unh!

167
00:10:04,789 --> 00:10:06,347
<i>Here's another one!</i>

168
00:10:06,391 --> 00:10:07,688
Hey, bony butt.

169
00:10:07,725 --> 00:10:09,750
How was your year,
chicken legs?

170
00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:11,386
It's not funny, guys.

171
00:10:11,429 --> 00:10:12,828
Why are they teasing him?

172
00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,695
That's a counselor named Tim.

173
00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:16,859
He used to be one of us,
but then he lost weight...

174
00:10:16,901 --> 00:10:18,528
so we give him
a hard time about it.

175
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:21,095
- He's cool, though.
- Let's hear it.

176
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:23,869
Tim, what happened,
did you have a baby?

177
00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:26,399
<i>That's funny.</i>

178
00:10:26,444 --> 00:10:29,641
Just because I got these
great, skinny buns of steel.

179
00:10:29,681 --> 00:10:31,273
Whoo! Look at that--
all tight and toned.

180
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:32,943
Bet you wish they were yours.

181
00:10:32,984 --> 00:10:34,781
Don't you?
Take a look, boys!

182
00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:36,616
The envy of the entire camp--

183
00:10:36,654 --> 00:10:40,818
Up there is the bald eagle,
which is a single breed...

184
00:10:43,828 --> 00:10:46,126
- Hi.
- Hi.

185
00:10:46,164 --> 00:10:48,758
I'm Julie, the new nurse.

186
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,132
Pat.

187
00:10:51,169 --> 00:10:53,034
Pat, I'm a little lost.

188
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,938
Can you tell me
where the infirmary is?

189
00:11:00,578 --> 00:11:02,546
<i>Well, let's see...</i>

190
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:06,311
Uh...No.

191
00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:10,879
Oh, well...I'll find it.

192
00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:12,321
Nice to meet you.

193
00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:20,553
Pat, you've been coming here
since you were ten...

194
00:11:20,598 --> 00:11:23,260
and you don't know
where the infirmary is?

195
00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,792
I panicked.

196
00:11:25,837 --> 00:11:27,930
What are we gonna do
with you, man?

197
00:11:27,972 --> 00:11:30,099
Help me with these bags,
all right?

198
00:11:30,141 --> 00:11:31,608
- Garner.
- Yeah?

199
00:11:31,643 --> 00:11:33,270
Let's get working
on this trunk.

200
00:11:33,311 --> 00:11:34,608
OK.

201
00:11:34,646 --> 00:11:37,114
- You got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no.

202
00:11:37,148 --> 00:11:39,946
So you broke up with her
before the summer...

203
00:11:39,984 --> 00:11:41,781
so you could be free
to play the field, huh?

204
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:44,447
Yeah,
you gotta play the field.

205
00:11:44,489 --> 00:11:47,287
Yeah, I break up with
my girlfriend every summer.

206
00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:48,758
You gotta be free, you know?

207
00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,283
All right, put it down.

208
00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:51,886
This is it, Gerry.

209
00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:54,592
I've been the counselor
in here for 10 years.

210
00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:55,963
I hope you're ready.

211
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,798
You'll be hanging with
some pretty cool cats.

212
00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:02,704
Josh, how you doing, man?

213
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:04,071
Roy.

214
00:12:04,108 --> 00:12:08,602
I just saw the new nurse,
and she's very attractive.

215
00:12:10,114 --> 00:12:11,445
This pleases me.

216
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:14,982
<i>Here it is!</i>

217
00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:19,012
Ah, Chez Chipmunk--
my summer home.

218
00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:20,524
What do we got here?

219
00:12:20,558 --> 00:12:24,460
Gerry, this is Josh,
camp legend.

220
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,520
Aye-aye, Captain, sir.

221
00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,327
All present and accounted for,
Captain, sir.

222
00:12:28,366 --> 00:12:30,857
What's the matter?
You're not a captain?

223
00:12:30,902 --> 00:12:32,426
No.

224
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,404
Then maybe you
should lose the wings.

225
00:12:36,908 --> 00:12:38,375
Welcome to
the Chipmunk bunk, Captain--

226
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,343
the best bunk
in the entire camp.

227
00:12:40,378 --> 00:12:41,777
<i>Yep! Sure is.</i>

228
00:12:41,813 --> 00:12:45,180
You guys aren't gonna call me
Captain all summer, are you?

229
00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:46,979
Yes, sir, Captain!

230
00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:48,918
Captain, looks like
you're all set here.

231
00:12:48,953 --> 00:12:50,386
I gotta take care of
some other stuff.

232
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,252
You're the best, Pat.

233
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,053
All right, take it easy.

234
00:12:54,092 --> 00:12:57,289
All right, Gerry, over here
is your brand-new bunk.

235
00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:58,795
Don't tell anybody...

236
00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:03,733
but I snuck in some Oreos
for emergencies.

237
00:13:03,768 --> 00:13:06,236
That was very sneaky of you.

238
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:10,036
Chipmunks!
Download, now!

239
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:25,218
<i>New kid! Yo!</i>

240
00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:26,553
Come on over here!

241
00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:29,754
Get these salamis off my back.
They really hurt.

242
00:13:34,632 --> 00:13:36,759
Phillip, look at this.

243
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:38,428
That's pretty nice, Nicholas...

244
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:41,461
but look at this.

245
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,171
Yes!

246
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,949
Crikey!

247
00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:57,750
I knew it was too hot
in that bus.

248
00:14:01,025 --> 00:14:03,721
This is definitely not sanitary.

249
00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:06,821
Everyone!
Grab a taste of England, guys!

250
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,214
You'll love the Bushkins.

251
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:04,720
Every year
they surprise us...

252
00:15:04,755 --> 00:15:06,222
with something cool
for the camp.

253
00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:07,723
Last year
they got us the Blob...

254
00:15:07,758 --> 00:15:10,454
and this year I hear
they're getting us jet skis.

255
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:13,258
- Jet skis!
- Here they come.

256
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:20,232
- You'll love these people.
- Really?

257
00:15:24,274 --> 00:15:26,242
Greetings, campers.

258
00:15:26,276 --> 00:15:30,440
Hi! Hi! Hiya!

259
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,744
You'll get it.

260
00:15:32,783 --> 00:15:36,241
That's the greatest sound
I've heard in a long time.

261
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:41,417
Harvey and I are saddened
and dismayed to announce...

262
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,258
that we are no longer
the owners of Camp Hope.

263
00:15:45,295 --> 00:15:47,320
- What?
- What's going on?

264
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:48,763
What are you talking about?

265
00:15:48,799 --> 00:15:51,165
Sometimes in life...

266
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:54,728
things don't work out
the way you planned...

267
00:15:54,771 --> 00:15:58,263
and in those situations,
sometimes...

268
00:15:58,308 --> 00:16:02,404
you file Chapter 9
bankruptcy--Jesus!

269
00:16:02,446 --> 00:16:06,815
We worked our whole life,
and what do we have to show?

270
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:09,717
Nothing! Nothing!

271
00:16:09,753 --> 00:16:11,448
Harvey, please stop.

272
00:16:11,488 --> 00:16:13,285
What?

273
00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:18,693
OK, kids, out with the old,
and in with the new.

274
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,959
<i>It won't be the same</i>
<i>without them.</i>

275
00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:25,798
Your new owner will introduce
himself in a minute.

276
00:16:25,836 --> 00:16:28,168
But you know what I would like?

277
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:31,971
Please, could you give us
just one more...

278
00:16:32,008 --> 00:16:37,105
Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?

279
00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:39,877
Hiya.

280
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,942
God bless all of you.

281
00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:50,323
<i>We love you, Harvey!</i>

282
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,760
<i>He's kidding, guys.</i>
<i>He's gotta be.</i>

283
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,855
One word of advice.

284
00:16:54,898 --> 00:16:58,390
Never let anyone
sign your checks!

285
00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,834
Harvey, please.

286
00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:02,839
<i>You can't leave.</i>
<i>We need you.</i>

287
00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:05,467
<i>Come back.</i>

288
00:17:05,509 --> 00:17:07,875
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know, man.

289
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,896
<i>Now, it's time to meet</i>
<i>your new owner and operator.</i>

290
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,626
<i>Tony Perkis is a man</i>
<i>who believes in you.</i>

291
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:32,134
<i>His life is dedicated</i>
<i>to saying things like...</i>

292
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:34,296
<i>"Yes!" and</i>
<i>"You better believe it!"</i>

293
00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:37,704
<i>Entrepreneur, a motivator,</i>
<i>and a new friend...</i>

294
00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:41,939
<i>may I introduce</i>
<i>Tony Perkis!</i>

295
00:17:45,782 --> 00:17:49,240
Mm. Can you smell it?

296
00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:50,548
<i>What? No.</i>

297
00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:53,715
There's a life force
in here tonight.

298
00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:56,021
Do you feel it? Hmm?

299
00:17:56,059 --> 00:17:59,119
<i>I look around this room...</i>

300
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:02,598
and I see potential.

301
00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:08,637
I see the future chairman
of a Fortune 500 company.

302
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,333
I see a famous rap artist.

303
00:18:14,244 --> 00:18:18,010
I see the president of
the United States of America.

304
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,982
He's from England.

305
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,984
Being an only child...

306
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,987
educated entirely by
private tutors my whole life...

307
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,784
I'm looking forward
to interacting...

308
00:18:26,823 --> 00:18:28,586
with children
for the first time.

309
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,456
I'm going to teach you...

310
00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:33,326
and I bet you might teach me
a little something, also.

311
00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:37,062
Now, those of you from
western Pennsylvania...

312
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,591
probably know my father,
Tony Perkis Senior...

313
00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:41,399
the Lighting Fixture King.

314
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,372
All the lights you'll see
around this camp...

315
00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:45,340
have been donated by him.

316
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,249
But I'm gonna do
old Dad one better.

317
00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:55,808
I'm not gonna give you a light.

318
00:18:55,852 --> 00:18:58,821
I'm gonna show you the light!

319
00:18:58,855 --> 00:19:00,789
And to help me do it...

320
00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:03,054
let's meet the new staff
of Camp Hope.

321
00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:05,323
Team Perkis!

322
00:19:05,362 --> 00:19:08,695
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

323
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,526
Ha! Ha! Ha!

324
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,765
<i>All right!</i>
<i>Stand proud, boys!</i>

325
00:19:15,805 --> 00:19:18,865
Hey, who wants to be
on TV, huh?

326
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,637
That's Kenny the cameraman.

327
00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:22,201
Hey, there, Kenny!

328
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,145
If all goes
according to plan...

329
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,375
we're gonna turn this summer
into the number-one...

330
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,714
weight-loss infomercial
in the country!

331
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,049
You're kidding.

332
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,281
Kids, at age 12...

333
00:19:32,322 --> 00:19:35,723
I weighed 319 pounds.

334
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:39,490
I had bad skin,
low self-esteem...

335
00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:41,793
and no self-respect.

336
00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:46,962
Now...I eat success
for breakfast!

337
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:50,063
- With skim milk.
- Ugh.

338
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,573
Pounds are gonna fly...

339
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:55,738
and fat is
outta here, mister!

340
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:58,646
And we are gonna do it together!

341
00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:00,616
Oh, my God.

342
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:03,710
Ha! Haaa...

343
00:20:03,753 --> 00:20:05,345
Aah!

344
00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:09,315
<i>I want to go home!</i>

345
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,561
The Bushkins always put me
in the Chipmunk bunk.

346
00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:18,032
I've been here for 10 years.

347
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:19,535
According
to my information...

348
00:20:19,569 --> 00:20:21,366
you have been reassigned
to the big house.

349
00:20:21,404 --> 00:20:23,634
I don't think Tony would mind
if we switched back.

350
00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:27,370
That would make me
feel very uncomfortable.

351
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:29,674
I'm gonna talk to Tony.

352
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:33,808
Please do.
Let me get your bag.

353
00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:39,018
Unh!

354
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,056
Good-bye now.

355
00:20:46,096 --> 00:20:48,564
Enjoy your summer.

356
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,296
Hello!

357
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:55,998
I am your new friend
and counselor!

358
00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:59,998
Please enjoy your new
Perkis system uniforms.

359
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:02,568
Your families will be
billed automatically.

360
00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:04,739
Now, let's play the fun game...

361
00:21:04,781 --> 00:21:06,874
that helps us learn
each other's names.

362
00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,713
We already know
each other's names.

363
00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,514
Silence!

364
00:21:12,889 --> 00:21:16,723
You--please announce
everyone's name.

365
00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:21,059
OK. That's Roy.
That's Josh.

366
00:21:21,097 --> 00:21:24,066
Sam. That's Cody.
That's Nicholas.

367
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,692
That's Michael. That's Phil.

368
00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:28,363
And I am Lars.

369
00:21:28,404 --> 00:21:31,840
"Lars"?
What kind of name is that?

370
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,502
Where are you from?

371
00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:39,281
Far away.

372
00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:46,183
I must inform you I have
a severely deviated septum.

373
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,655
When I sleep at night...

374
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:49,783
I make
a very disturbing sound.

375
00:21:49,826 --> 00:21:52,124
Don't be alarmed.
I am fine.

376
00:21:52,162 --> 00:21:55,097
Now, go to sleep.

377
00:22:15,885 --> 00:22:19,753
Oh, no. I'm dead.

378
00:22:19,789 --> 00:22:21,518
I'm in Heaven.

379
00:22:21,558 --> 00:22:23,753
Roy? Roy.

380
00:22:23,793 --> 00:22:25,590
What's going on?

381
00:22:25,628 --> 00:22:27,425
<i>Wake up, campers.</i>

382
00:22:27,463 --> 00:22:29,328
<i>It's a glorious morning.</i>

383
00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:31,424
<i>Today is Evaluation Day.</i>

384
00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:33,765
<i>The key word here</i>
<i>is "value."</i>

385
00:22:33,803 --> 00:22:35,771
<i>Do you have any? Not yet.</i>

386
00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:37,272
<i>But by the end of the summer...</i>

387
00:22:37,307 --> 00:22:39,867
<i>this camp will be</i>
<i>filled with skinny winners!</i>

388
00:22:39,909 --> 00:22:42,844
"Skinny weiners"?
You hear that, guys?

389
00:22:42,879 --> 00:22:44,278
Do you think I'm crazy?

390
00:22:44,314 --> 00:22:46,782
I'm not crazy.
I just believe in you.

391
00:22:46,816 --> 00:22:50,274
And I believe in you.
Call and order now.

392
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,051
All right,
let's go get our hands dirty.

393
00:22:54,090 --> 00:22:55,557
<i># Ahh, freak out! #</i>

394
00:22:55,592 --> 00:23:00,794
Glide! Stride!

395
00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:03,060
<i>Get your butt off the ground!</i>

396
00:23:03,099 --> 00:23:06,432
<i>Concentrate!</i>
<i>Find your center.</i>

397
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:07,663
<i># Freak out! #</i>

398
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,732
<i>Stride! Glide!</i>

399
00:23:13,776 --> 00:23:18,577
<i># Listen to us,</i>
<i>I'm sure you'll be amazed #</i>

400
00:23:18,615 --> 00:23:20,606
Stride!

401
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:23,210
I'm feeling skinny, Tony.

402
00:23:23,253 --> 00:23:25,221
<i>So am I!</i>

403
00:23:25,255 --> 00:23:27,553
Aah!

404
00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:29,421
We keep this up,
I see no reason...

405
00:23:29,459 --> 00:23:31,984
why we can't beat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.

406
00:23:32,028 --> 00:23:34,258
What's an Apache Relay?

407
00:23:34,297 --> 00:23:37,892
It's a dumb inter-camp event
where those jocks at MVP...

408
00:23:37,934 --> 00:23:40,926
come over here and kick
our butts every year.

409
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:43,495
<i># Ahh, freak out! #</i>

410
00:23:43,539 --> 00:23:46,770
Only film the ones
that are standing, Kenneth.

411
00:23:46,809 --> 00:23:48,538
Glide!

412
00:23:51,881 --> 00:23:54,782
141 pounds, Gerry Garner.

413
00:23:54,817 --> 00:23:56,944
Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds.

414
00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:59,750
Please step down. Next!

415
00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:05,956
Very fat, I see. 160 pounds.

416
00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:08,054
Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds.

417
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,862
Ooh. Oh, my!

418
00:24:12,902 --> 00:24:15,200
Congratulations, Mr. Simms.

419
00:24:15,238 --> 00:24:17,399
You are the fattest boy in camp.

420
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,238
All right,
let's hear it for Simms.

421
00:24:24,013 --> 00:24:25,241
Get down!

422
00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:26,748
<i># Ahh, freak out! #</i>

423
00:24:26,783 --> 00:24:29,547
<i># All that pressure</i>
<i>got you down #</i>

424
00:24:29,585 --> 00:24:31,177
Five and a quarter.

425
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:34,246
<i># Has your head</i>
<i>spinning all around #</i>

426
00:24:34,290 --> 00:24:35,951
<i># Feel the rhythm #</i>

427
00:24:35,992 --> 00:24:38,517
<i># Chant the rhyme,</i>
<i>come on along #</i>

428
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:39,755
<i>Big smile.</i>

429
00:24:39,796 --> 00:24:41,354
<i># And have a real good time #</i>

430
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:43,763
<i>Turn around to your side.</i>

431
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,791
Please put your fat finger down!

432
00:24:45,835 --> 00:24:47,029
<i># Freak out! #</i>

433
00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:50,265
<i># Ahh, freak out! #</i>

434
00:24:50,306 --> 00:24:52,570
You've broken my camera!

435
00:24:52,608 --> 00:24:54,576
No, no, no,
you listen to me.

436
00:24:54,610 --> 00:24:56,908
If I don't get a 50,000 unit
pre-sale on this video...

437
00:24:56,946 --> 00:24:58,777
my ass is wheat grass!

438
00:24:58,815 --> 00:25:00,680
Just hang on a second.

439
00:25:00,717 --> 00:25:03,185
Attention campers,
tonight's lecture is...

440
00:25:03,219 --> 00:25:06,814
"Liposuction:
Option or Obsession."

441
00:25:06,856 --> 00:25:10,121
Watch out for Salami Sam!

442
00:25:10,159 --> 00:25:13,492
<i>Whoa!</i>

443
00:25:13,529 --> 00:25:16,020
Hey, don't pee in the water!

444
00:25:16,065 --> 00:25:19,057
Don't drink the water.
He peed in it!

445
00:25:24,474 --> 00:25:27,773
- Nurse Julie!
- Whoa!

446
00:25:27,810 --> 00:25:30,472
Excuse me, Nurse Julie.

447
00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:33,243
I'm having a problem
with my sciatic nerve.

448
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:36,877
Perhaps later you could give me
a deep-tissue massage.

449
00:25:36,919 --> 00:25:39,046
I'll pencil you in.

450
00:25:39,088 --> 00:25:41,386
Lars, shouldn't you be
watching the kids?

451
00:25:41,424 --> 00:25:44,052
Don't worry, I have them
on the body system.

452
00:25:44,093 --> 00:25:45,390
"Body system"?

453
00:25:45,428 --> 00:25:47,259
Yeah, have a look.

454
00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:53,869
Body!

455
00:25:53,903 --> 00:26:00,438
- Body!
- Body!

456
00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:03,706
"Buddy." Heh heh.

457
00:26:03,746 --> 00:26:07,580
You're obviously
a very powerful man, Lars.

458
00:26:07,617 --> 00:26:09,107
Would you excuse me?

459
00:26:12,188 --> 00:26:15,089
Yes, but with much difficulty!

460
00:26:18,261 --> 00:26:22,393
Buddy!

461
00:26:22,432 --> 00:26:25,230
All right, Gerry, it's your bat.

462
00:26:25,268 --> 00:26:27,202
Nicholas, you know what to do.

463
00:26:27,236 --> 00:26:28,897
Is this kind of like cricket?

464
00:26:28,938 --> 00:26:30,405
It's not kind of like cricket.

465
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,238
It is cricket.
Just with a different name.

466
00:26:33,276 --> 00:26:35,574
MVPers are almost here.
Are the boys ready?

467
00:26:35,611 --> 00:26:38,409
Yeah. Tony, I really need
to talk to you about this.

468
00:26:38,448 --> 00:26:40,245
Our kids will get
their butts handed to them.

469
00:26:40,283 --> 00:26:41,773
Why don't we hold off on this?

470
00:26:41,818 --> 00:26:44,912
Thank you for telling me
how to run my camp.

471
00:26:44,954 --> 00:26:46,421
That I bought.

472
00:26:46,456 --> 00:26:50,187
This won't help those kids
get any better at sports!

473
00:26:50,226 --> 00:26:51,921
We're not teaching them
about sports!

474
00:26:51,961 --> 00:26:53,895
We're teaching them about life!

475
00:26:53,930 --> 00:26:55,693
Life.

476
00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:01,401
<i>Look!</i>

477
00:27:01,437 --> 00:27:04,372
<i>Come on, let's go!</i>
<i>Let's do it!</i>

478
00:27:04,407 --> 00:27:08,104
Go, go, go!

479
00:27:08,144 --> 00:27:09,907
I'm not so good at sports.

480
00:27:09,946 --> 00:27:12,005
Oh, yeah,
and I'm Deion Sanders.

481
00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:14,243
<i>We're dead, guys.</i>

482
00:27:15,751 --> 00:27:17,844
All right, I want to see
some hustle out there!

483
00:27:17,887 --> 00:27:20,219
- Hey, Chris.
- Pat, how you doing?

484
00:27:20,256 --> 00:27:22,053
See you got a promotion.

485
00:27:22,091 --> 00:27:25,219
Yeah. Listen, Chris,
over the years...

486
00:27:25,261 --> 00:27:26,728
you guys have whooped us
pretty good.

487
00:27:26,762 --> 00:27:28,787
How about taking it easy
on my guys this year?

488
00:27:28,831 --> 00:27:31,891
- You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.

489
00:27:31,934 --> 00:27:33,561
MVP campers
are trained to compete...

490
00:27:33,603 --> 00:27:35,230
at the highest level
at all times.

491
00:27:35,271 --> 00:27:37,535
We wouldn't
want to confuse them.

492
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,268
Looking good, Pat.

493
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:41,105
All right,
let's work it around!

494
00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:42,405
Come on, men!

495
00:27:42,445 --> 00:27:44,174
Let's hit the field
and let the fates decide.

496
00:27:44,213 --> 00:27:45,646
There we go--
good plan, all right!

497
00:27:45,681 --> 00:27:47,410
There you go!
Eye of the tiger!

498
00:27:47,450 --> 00:27:48,917
Did you eat your
Wheaties today, Phillip?

499
00:27:48,951 --> 00:27:50,578
I hope to God
you ate your Wheaties.

500
00:27:50,620 --> 00:27:51,917
Simms, way to hustle.

501
00:27:51,954 --> 00:27:53,444
Like a rocket--
there you go.

502
00:27:54,790 --> 00:27:56,951
<i>Pat Finley, please report...</i>

503
00:27:56,993 --> 00:27:59,757
<i>to the men's toilet</i>
<i>immediately.</i>

504
00:27:59,795 --> 00:28:03,754
<i>Bring a mop</i>
<i>and a plunger...now!</i>

505
00:28:06,869 --> 00:28:09,565
<i>All right,</i>
<i>who's up first? Let's go!</i>

506
00:28:10,806 --> 00:28:12,774
Ohh, my arm!

507
00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,073
Oh, my knee!

508
00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:17,079
Ohh, my--

509
00:28:20,182 --> 00:28:24,915
<i># Even the best gets beat</i>
<i>sometimes, baby #</i>

510
00:28:24,954 --> 00:28:26,546
<i>Come on, lardo!</i>

511
00:28:26,589 --> 00:28:30,116
Tim, take me out, please!

512
00:28:30,159 --> 00:28:32,957
<i># You got to hang tough #</i>

513
00:28:32,995 --> 00:28:35,293
- Ohh!
- Out!

514
00:28:35,331 --> 00:28:36,821
<i># You got to hang tough #</i>

515
00:28:36,866 --> 00:28:39,426
<i>Whoo-hoo-hoo!</i>

516
00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:41,459
<i>Beautiful!</i>

517
00:28:41,504 --> 00:28:43,495
Can I go to the nurse?

518
00:28:43,539 --> 00:28:45,769
Yeah, OK, Phillip.

519
00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:49,471
Just wait till
someone comes back, OK?

520
00:28:51,681 --> 00:28:53,148
Ow, my arm.

521
00:28:54,383 --> 00:28:58,114
Cody, what on earth
is going on out there?

522
00:28:58,154 --> 00:29:00,452
We're Perkisizing.

523
00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:05,824
Strike!

524
00:29:05,861 --> 00:29:07,954
<i>Hey, batter, batter, batter.</i>

525
00:29:09,532 --> 00:29:11,864
<i># Even the experts miss</i>
<i>sometimes #</i>

526
00:29:11,901 --> 00:29:13,459
Strike!

527
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:14,901
Strike three!

528
00:29:16,472 --> 00:29:17,700
Strike!

529
00:29:17,740 --> 00:29:20,402
Nice swing,
you fat towboat. Ha!

530
00:29:20,443 --> 00:29:22,434
Is that all you've got?

531
00:29:22,478 --> 00:29:23,638
Uhh!

532
00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:26,413
<i>That's foul!</i>

533
00:29:28,618 --> 00:29:31,018
Doh!

534
00:29:32,722 --> 00:29:35,714
<i>All right, next batter.</i>
<i>Let's go, son.</i>

535
00:29:38,027 --> 00:29:39,517
- Uhh!
- Look out!

536
00:29:39,562 --> 00:29:42,030
- Ow!
- Sorry!

537
00:29:42,064 --> 00:29:43,258
You can do it.

538
00:29:43,299 --> 00:29:44,823
Keep your eyes on the bat...

539
00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:46,630
put it in the pocket...

540
00:29:46,669 --> 00:29:47,829
swing harder...

541
00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,804
I have no idea
what I'm saying.

542
00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:52,000
Ohh!

543
00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:53,702
You OK?

544
00:29:55,444 --> 00:29:57,878
There goes your perfect game.
Come on!

545
00:29:57,913 --> 00:29:59,847
Calm down.

546
00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,679
Let's go!
Take your base, you big baby!

547
00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:02,877
You're holding up the game!

548
00:30:02,918 --> 00:30:05,910
<i># You got to hang tough #</i>

549
00:30:05,955 --> 00:30:08,446
<i>He ain't hurt.</i>
<i>Suck it up, Gerry!</i>

550
00:30:08,491 --> 00:30:11,051
Aww, look,
the poor baby's gonna cry.

551
00:30:11,093 --> 00:30:13,061
Don't blubber, chubber!
Ha ha.

552
00:30:13,095 --> 00:30:14,289
Uhh!

553
00:30:18,668 --> 00:30:20,602
Don't mess with us.

554
00:30:20,636 --> 00:30:23,169
<i>No, man, that's my bed!</i>

555
00:30:24,940 --> 00:30:27,602
I don't enjoy
this part of the job.

556
00:30:27,642 --> 00:30:33,205
But it's vital to the success
of the Perkis system...

557
00:30:34,649 --> 00:30:36,310
that we remove all temptation...

558
00:30:38,119 --> 00:30:39,313
<i>Ohh!</i>

559
00:30:39,354 --> 00:30:42,881
...from your lives. Here.

560
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:44,721
<i>Dispose of that, Lars.</i>

561
00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:47,892
What?

562
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,794
I'm still your friend.

563
00:30:49,831 --> 00:30:51,423
Come on, give me a hug.

564
00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:54,399
Hmm?

565
00:30:55,470 --> 00:30:56,732
Hmm.

566
00:30:56,771 --> 00:30:58,466
Come on.

567
00:31:03,912 --> 00:31:06,574
Tony believes in you.

568
00:31:11,253 --> 00:31:13,118
Looks like my man's packing.

569
00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,058
Drop back, son.

570
00:31:24,666 --> 00:31:27,794
<i>Oh, Tony.</i>

571
00:31:27,836 --> 00:31:30,236
Sir!
I was a Chipmunk last year.

572
00:31:30,272 --> 00:31:32,832
Look.

573
00:31:32,874 --> 00:31:34,034
Dawson,
what are you doing, man?

574
00:31:35,677 --> 00:31:38,339
Well, well, well,
what have we here?

575
00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:40,814
Who would like to own up
to this treasure trove?

576
00:31:40,849 --> 00:31:43,374
Whose wonderful candies
are these?

577
00:31:43,418 --> 00:31:45,943
Oh, look. A deli meat.

578
00:31:48,256 --> 00:31:49,848
You...come here.

579
00:31:49,891 --> 00:31:52,724
Yes, you. Come here.

580
00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:54,490
Don't be frightened.
Just come here.

581
00:31:54,529 --> 00:31:56,656
- I.D. cards.
- Yes, Tony.

582
00:31:56,698 --> 00:31:58,359
Let's see.

583
00:32:01,870 --> 00:32:07,433
"Garner, Gerald.
141 pounds. Age 11."

584
00:32:07,475 --> 00:32:10,876
You didn't have anything
to do with this, did you?

585
00:32:10,912 --> 00:32:13,472
Well...

586
00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:16,643
But I bet you might be able
to tell me who did?

587
00:32:18,787 --> 00:32:21,187
Anyone who brings candy
into this camp...

588
00:32:21,222 --> 00:32:22,814
is not your friend.

589
00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:25,951
He is a destroyer.

590
00:32:25,994 --> 00:32:29,896
Do you understand that,
Gerald Garner?

591
00:32:29,931 --> 00:32:32,263
Do you?

592
00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:36,236
I'm sure your father...

593
00:32:36,271 --> 00:32:38,762
Maury Garner,
wouldn't want to hear...

594
00:32:38,807 --> 00:32:42,299
that his son is a destroyer,
would he?

595
00:32:42,344 --> 00:32:43,572
I don't think so.

596
00:32:43,612 --> 00:32:46,103
Enough. All right.

597
00:32:46,147 --> 00:32:48,274
I'll tell you
whose candy it is.

598
00:32:48,316 --> 00:32:50,841
- Don't do it, Josh!
- Shh! Let the man speak.

599
00:32:50,885 --> 00:32:53,376
The candy belongs
to Seymour Butts.

600
00:32:53,421 --> 00:32:58,415
Seymour Butts?
Who's Seymour Butts?

601
00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:00,121
Who's Seymour Butts?!

602
00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:02,857
Nobody's seen more butts
than you, Uncle Tony!

603
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,297
You picked the wrong man
to mess with.

604
00:33:11,339 --> 00:33:14,035
<i>Ooh.</i>

605
00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:16,168
I didn't know
I was messing with a man!

606
00:33:18,947 --> 00:33:22,542
Ha ha ha ha ha!
We have a comedian!

607
00:33:25,487 --> 00:33:27,387
Hey, I like comedians.

608
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:30,323
Perhaps I can book you
on a tour.

609
00:33:30,358 --> 00:33:32,121
<i>You the man, Josh!</i>

610
00:33:43,004 --> 00:33:44,801
<i>Good morning, campers.</i>

611
00:33:44,839 --> 00:33:47,205
<i>Joshua Birnbaum</i>
<i>is no longer with us.</i>

612
00:33:47,242 --> 00:33:48,607
<i>His bed is now available.</i>

613
00:33:48,643 --> 00:33:51,111
Josh is all right,
isn't he?

614
00:33:51,146 --> 00:33:54,707
Man, I hope so...
wherever he is.

615
00:33:58,019 --> 00:33:59,850
Sam, did you hear about Josh?

616
00:33:59,888 --> 00:34:03,346
Sorry to hear about
your little friend Josh.

617
00:34:03,391 --> 00:34:05,791
Hey, Gerry. I found out
the truth about Josh.

618
00:34:05,827 --> 00:34:07,488
I heard that
they kicked him out...

619
00:34:07,529 --> 00:34:10,123
and his parents were so mad,
they wouldn't let him come home.

620
00:34:10,165 --> 00:34:13,293
They left him at a bus stop
all alone at midnight.

621
00:34:13,334 --> 00:34:16,394
Well, he's dead.

622
00:34:16,438 --> 00:34:17,632
He pulled a knife on Tony...

623
00:34:17,672 --> 00:34:20,470
and he's locked up in
a juvenile delinquent center.

624
00:34:20,508 --> 00:34:22,169
Now he's living
in the park in New York...

625
00:34:22,210 --> 00:34:24,235
with a guy who has no legs.

626
00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:25,439
No way.

627
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,710
I'm just telling you
what I heard.

628
00:34:28,950 --> 00:34:30,850
<i>Dear Grandma...</i>

629
00:34:30,885 --> 00:34:34,821
<i>someone once said</i>
<i>"War is hell."</i>

630
00:34:34,856 --> 00:34:37,324
<i>They've never been</i>
<i>to fat camp.</i>

631
00:34:38,927 --> 00:34:41,054
<i>I knew</i>
<i>the food would be bad...</i>

632
00:34:41,096 --> 00:34:42,688
<i>but even worse...</i>

633
00:34:44,466 --> 00:34:47,162
<i>today he killed the Blob.</i>

634
00:34:47,202 --> 00:34:50,467
<i>As for the go-karts...</i>

635
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,167
<i>may they rest in pieces.</i>

636
00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:54,573
<i>I'm writing you...</i>

637
00:34:54,609 --> 00:34:56,600
<i>because nobody else</i>
<i>seemed to care.</i>

638
00:34:56,644 --> 00:34:59,545
I did not send you
to go-kart camp.

639
00:35:01,716 --> 00:35:02,944
Attention, campers...

640
00:35:02,984 --> 00:35:06,750
lunch has been canceled today
due to lack of hustle.

641
00:35:06,788 --> 00:35:08,119
Deal with it.

642
00:35:08,156 --> 00:35:10,351
<i>Tony Perkis</i>
<i>tries to lead by example.</i>

643
00:35:10,391 --> 00:35:13,360
This is the eighteenth level
of the Perkis system.

644
00:35:13,394 --> 00:35:15,692
You'll all be doing this
by Labor Day!

645
00:35:15,730 --> 00:35:18,062
All right, do it to it, Lars!

646
00:35:18,099 --> 00:35:19,862
It's my honor, Tony!

647
00:35:21,236 --> 00:35:23,898
- Ohh!
- Crazy!

648
00:35:23,938 --> 00:35:26,634
<i>But we're afraid to follow.</i>

649
00:35:28,810 --> 00:35:32,871
I know each and every one of you
because I was you.

650
00:35:32,914 --> 00:35:36,782
<i>Once a day, the kids</i>
<i>from Camp MVP drive by...</i>

651
00:35:36,818 --> 00:35:38,149
<i>and make fun of us.</i>

652
00:35:38,186 --> 00:35:42,122
You stink! You stink!
You stink!

653
00:35:43,792 --> 00:35:45,692
Good one!

654
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:50,027
<i>At night,</i>
<i>they vandalize our camp.</i>

655
00:35:57,839 --> 00:36:00,467
<i>At least Josh got out...</i>

656
00:36:00,508 --> 00:36:03,204
<i>where there's food.</i>

657
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:06,475
<i>We have to resort</i>
<i>to more desperate measures.</i>

658
00:36:06,514 --> 00:36:08,607
Let's get 'em!

659
00:36:11,953 --> 00:36:13,147
I want meat!

660
00:36:13,188 --> 00:36:15,884
I'll save something for you!

661
00:36:15,924 --> 00:36:18,154
<i>Tony's arranged a dance</i>
<i>with the girls' camp...</i>

662
00:36:18,193 --> 00:36:22,220
<i>so he can humiliate us</i>
<i>into losing weight.</i>

663
00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:23,992
<i>Pray for me, Grandma.</i>

664
00:36:24,032 --> 00:36:25,522
<i>Love, Gerry.</i>

665
00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:32,202
<i># S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y</i>
<i>night #</i>

666
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:42,811
<i># S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y,</i>
<i>night #</i>

667
00:36:42,851 --> 00:36:46,844
<i># Gonna keep on dancin'</i>
<i>to the rock 'n' roll #</i>

668
00:36:46,888 --> 00:36:48,412
<i># On Saturday night #</i>

669
00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:50,617
<i># Saturday night #</i>

670
00:36:50,658 --> 00:36:53,354
<i># Dancin' to the rhythm</i>
<i>in our heart and soul #</i>

671
00:36:53,394 --> 00:36:56,022
<i># On Saturday night... #</i>

672
00:36:56,064 --> 00:36:58,294
Let's just get out of here.

673
00:36:58,333 --> 00:37:01,200
We can't, man.
They're guarding the door.

674
00:37:01,236 --> 00:37:03,830
<i># I--I--I--I got a date #</i>

675
00:37:03,872 --> 00:37:05,362
Rock 'n' roll.

676
00:37:05,406 --> 00:37:07,636
<i># At the good old</i>
<i>rock 'n' roll road show #</i>

677
00:37:07,675 --> 00:37:11,873
Sugar-free punch.
This bites.

678
00:37:11,913 --> 00:37:15,405
How much more
are they gonna subject us to?

679
00:37:15,450 --> 00:37:17,315
Why don't those guys
just lose weight?

680
00:37:17,352 --> 00:37:19,912
Why don't you show them
how to throw up after meals?

681
00:37:19,954 --> 00:37:21,751
- Shut up.
- You shut up.

682
00:37:21,789 --> 00:37:23,017
You guys, stop it.

683
00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:28,021
Team Jerkis strikes again, huh?

684
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:32,193
Do you think he could've
possibly planned...

685
00:37:32,233 --> 00:37:34,224
for it to be this bad?

686
00:37:34,269 --> 00:37:35,896
<i>Yes.</i>

687
00:37:35,937 --> 00:37:38,405
I have some friends
in Child Welfare.

688
00:37:38,439 --> 00:37:42,034
Tony must be doing something
illegal around here.

689
00:37:42,076 --> 00:37:44,374
Maybe I should give them a call.

690
00:37:44,412 --> 00:37:47,939
- Great.
- This really bites!

691
00:37:47,982 --> 00:37:52,578
Would you like to have
some of this...punch?

692
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:54,349
Yeah, thanks.

693
00:37:55,723 --> 00:37:58,089
<i># I believe in miracles #</i>

694
00:37:58,126 --> 00:38:00,424
Did you catch Lars's outfit?

695
00:38:00,461 --> 00:38:01,894
<i># Since you came along #</i>

696
00:38:01,930 --> 00:38:03,830
<i># You sexy thing #</i>

697
00:38:09,137 --> 00:38:11,002
Yo, check this out.

698
00:38:13,574 --> 00:38:15,269
Jeez, she's coming over!

699
00:38:15,310 --> 00:38:17,039
I think she's looking at me.

700
00:38:24,285 --> 00:38:26,947
Do you know
where the bathroom is?

701
00:38:35,196 --> 00:38:37,596
Ouch.

702
00:38:37,632 --> 00:38:39,827
That was brutal.

703
00:38:39,867 --> 00:38:41,926
They're young, you know?

704
00:38:41,970 --> 00:38:43,938
Still afraid of girls.

705
00:38:43,972 --> 00:38:45,496
Poor guys.

706
00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:48,532
So, do you want to dance?

707
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,567
Um, uh...

708
00:38:50,611 --> 00:38:53,944
No, I have
a bad...sprained...

709
00:38:53,982 --> 00:38:56,075
Excuse me. Tim?

710
00:38:56,117 --> 00:38:57,345
<i># You sexy thing #</i>

711
00:38:57,385 --> 00:38:59,580
OK.

712
00:39:02,623 --> 00:39:04,557
This is really boring.

713
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:08,289
This has got to end.

714
00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:14,326
<i># Oh-oh-oh, yeah #</i>

715
00:39:14,369 --> 00:39:16,837
Excuse me, guys.

716
00:39:16,871 --> 00:39:19,101
<i># I'm just a love machine #</i>

717
00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:22,200
<i># And I won't work</i>
<i>for nobody but you #</i>

718
00:39:22,243 --> 00:39:23,403
<i># Yeah, baby #</i>

719
00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:25,969
<i># I'm just a love machine #</i>

720
00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:29,746
Tim's blown a microchip!

721
00:39:32,687 --> 00:39:35,622
Tim! Tim!
What are you doing?

722
00:39:35,656 --> 00:39:37,385
Saving the dance. Come on.

723
00:39:37,425 --> 00:39:40,258
The girls will see
how much fun we're having...

724
00:39:40,294 --> 00:39:42,057
and then everyone will join in!

725
00:39:42,096 --> 00:39:43,324
That's weird, Tim.

726
00:39:43,364 --> 00:39:44,956
Maybe it is,
Reverend No-Fun...

727
00:39:44,999 --> 00:39:46,489
but I am saving the dance.

728
00:39:46,534 --> 00:39:49,560
Stand back and watch the magic!
Whoo!

729
00:39:49,604 --> 00:39:52,767
<i># I-I-I'm just</i>
<i>a love machine #</i>

730
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:55,241
<i># And I won't work</i>
<i>for nobody but you #</i>

731
00:39:55,276 --> 00:39:56,971
<i># Ohh, yeah #</i>

732
00:39:58,246 --> 00:39:59,508
Yeah!

733
00:39:59,547 --> 00:40:01,606
Oh, yeah!
Get down to the funk!

734
00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:05,877
Don't you see how much fun
we're having?

735
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,047
Join in!
It'll be contagious!

736
00:40:08,089 --> 00:40:09,613
It's called boogie fever!

737
00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:12,023
<i>- Whoo!</i>
<i>- That's it!</i>

738
00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:13,994
Nicholas, dance with me.

739
00:40:14,028 --> 00:40:16,223
Oh, yes!

740
00:40:16,264 --> 00:40:19,165
Shake a leg!
Let's go!

741
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,761
<i># And I won't work</i>
<i>for nobody but you #</i>

742
00:40:22,804 --> 00:40:26,001
Maybe we should go out there.
It's just dancing.

743
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,565
OK. I guess
I can stand this song.

744
00:40:28,609 --> 00:40:30,133
<i># Yeah, baby #</i>

745
00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:32,510
<i># A huggin' kissin' fiend #</i>

746
00:40:33,915 --> 00:40:35,109
Yes.

747
00:40:35,149 --> 00:40:36,741
Yes!

748
00:40:36,784 --> 00:40:38,877
Excuse me.

749
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,150
May I have the pleasure
of this dance?

750
00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:43,123
Yes, you may.

751
00:40:43,157 --> 00:40:46,149
<i># That you have got to use #</i>

752
00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:49,493
<i># If you look into my file #</i>

753
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:52,727
<i># I am sure</i>
<i>you can find out how #</i>

754
00:40:52,767 --> 00:40:56,259
<i># To turn me on,</i>
<i>just set my dial #</i>

755
00:40:56,304 --> 00:40:58,738
<i># And let me love you</i>
<i>for a little while #</i>

756
00:40:58,773 --> 00:41:02,709
<i># Ooh-ooh, I-I-I'm just</i>
<i>a love machine #</i>

757
00:41:02,743 --> 00:41:05,735
<i># And I won't work</i>
<i>for nobody but you #</i>

758
00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:07,077
<i># Ooh, yeah #</i>

759
00:41:07,115 --> 00:41:08,639
<i># I'm just a love machine #</i>

760
00:41:08,683 --> 00:41:10,446
<i># Yeah, baby #</i>

761
00:41:10,485 --> 00:41:12,715
<i># A huggin' kissin' fiend #</i>

762
00:41:12,753 --> 00:41:15,449
<i># La la-la-la-la #</i>

763
00:41:15,490 --> 00:41:17,185
<i># La-la-la-la #</i>

764
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:18,419
<i># La-la #</i>

765
00:41:18,459 --> 00:41:19,858
<i># Ooh-ooh-ooh #</i>

766
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,691
<i># La la-la-la-la #</i>

767
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,094
<i># La-la-la-la #</i>

768
00:41:27,602 --> 00:41:30,002
All right, dance is over!

769
00:41:30,037 --> 00:41:31,902
Everybody go home!

770
00:41:31,939 --> 00:41:33,429
Thank you for coming,
ladies.

771
00:41:33,474 --> 00:41:34,736
<i>You ruin everything!</i>

772
00:41:34,775 --> 00:41:36,675
Buses are waiting
over there.

773
00:41:36,711 --> 00:41:39,373
Thank you.
I appreciate your efforts.

774
00:41:39,413 --> 00:41:41,472
I know this hasn't been easy.

775
00:41:46,621 --> 00:41:48,111
<i>He was nice, too.</i>

776
00:41:49,457 --> 00:41:52,017
Put the fruit trays away.

777
00:41:52,059 --> 00:41:54,391
The insects will be out soon.

778
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,845
Hey.

779
00:42:13,881 --> 00:42:16,611
How about a ride out of here?

780
00:42:19,887 --> 00:42:22,822
Did this place
always stink this much?

781
00:42:24,692 --> 00:42:26,489
No, Gerry.

782
00:42:26,527 --> 00:42:29,792
This place used to stink
very little.

783
00:42:29,830 --> 00:42:32,799
In fact...

784
00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:34,698
it didn't stink at all.

785
00:42:34,735 --> 00:42:36,726
Well, it does now.

786
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:44,707
I thought at least I'd be able
to ride the go-karts.

787
00:42:44,745 --> 00:42:47,236
I've never ridden one.

788
00:42:50,251 --> 00:42:51,684
You really like them?

789
00:42:53,521 --> 00:42:56,388
I'm so slow.

790
00:42:56,424 --> 00:42:58,688
It would've been cool
to go fast.

791
00:43:01,596 --> 00:43:04,531
Really fly, you know?

792
00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:07,398
I thought I'd be good at it.

793
00:43:10,104 --> 00:43:11,332
Really?

794
00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:15,172
That's interesting.

795
00:43:17,578 --> 00:43:21,344
Think you'd be able to handle
those hairpin turns?

796
00:43:21,382 --> 00:43:23,373
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?

797
00:43:23,417 --> 00:43:25,749
Think you'd be able to handle
That powerful engine?

798
00:43:25,786 --> 00:43:27,686
Let's see what you got, Garner.
Come on!

799
00:43:27,722 --> 00:43:29,189
Whoo!

800
00:43:29,223 --> 00:43:31,350
Lean into it!
That's right!

801
00:43:35,596 --> 00:43:38,087
So, how did you learn
how to drive go-karts?

802
00:43:38,132 --> 00:43:39,622
Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry!

803
00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,965
Avoid the obstacles!
Excellent! Sharp turn!

804
00:43:42,003 --> 00:43:43,402
- Whoo!
- Yeah!

805
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:48,007
Come on, faster!

806
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:50,704
Faster, faster, yeah.

807
00:43:50,745 --> 00:43:53,179
No problem.

808
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,977
How are you
on your jumps, huh?

809
00:43:55,016 --> 00:43:57,951
- These things jump?
- They fly, buddy!

810
00:43:57,985 --> 00:43:59,850
Watch out for that oil slick!

811
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,185
Aaah!

812
00:44:03,858 --> 00:44:06,520
Aah! Aaaah!

813
00:44:10,231 --> 00:44:12,699
That was fun.
Let's do it again.

814
00:44:14,235 --> 00:44:16,135
- OK.
- Yes!

815
00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:18,536
As soon as I catch my breath.

816
00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:20,039
Maybe next summer.

817
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,065
Come on, Pat.

818
00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,428
Josh?

819
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:57,942
Josh? It's Josh.

820
00:44:57,978 --> 00:44:59,343
<i>- Josh is back!</i>
<i>- Josh!</i>

821
00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:01,405
Josh!

822
00:45:01,448 --> 00:45:04,576
<i>- Man, good to see you!</i>
<i>- I knew you were OK!</i>

823
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,746
Josh, what's wrong?
What'd they do to you?

824
00:45:07,788 --> 00:45:10,689
Josh...speak to me.

825
00:45:10,724 --> 00:45:13,625
Were you in jail?
The nut house?

826
00:45:13,661 --> 00:45:16,357
Josh, it's me--Gerry.

827
00:45:16,397 --> 00:45:20,561
Gerry. Pbbbbt.

828
00:45:20,601 --> 00:45:22,865
Heh heh. Funny, Josh.

829
00:45:22,903 --> 00:45:24,632
What happened, man?
Talk to us.

830
00:45:26,874 --> 00:45:29,741
Josh was bad.

831
00:45:30,778 --> 00:45:32,109
<i>What's he mean?</i>

832
00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:35,343
Oh, man. Oh, jeez.

833
00:45:38,352 --> 00:45:41,048
Josh now good.

834
00:45:41,088 --> 00:45:44,319
Good? What do you mean?

835
00:45:44,358 --> 00:45:48,055
Must be...
good to see my big ass again!

836
00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:52,561
I liked you better
with the lobotomy.

837
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,158
What really happened, man?

838
00:45:54,201 --> 00:45:55,896
Perkis sent me home
without a refund.

839
00:45:55,936 --> 00:45:57,904
However, my dad's a lawyer.

840
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,303
He threatened to sue
and Perkis caved...

841
00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:02,707
like the Buffalo Bills
in the Super Bowl.

842
00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:12,878
Hey, Josh, how long
have you been shaving?

843
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,251
A couple of years.

844
00:46:16,090 --> 00:46:18,354
What was it like on the outside?

845
00:46:19,593 --> 00:46:24,326
It was incredible.
First, I went to the Sizzler!

846
00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:27,266
Got that all-you-can-eat meal.
I closed the place.

847
00:46:27,301 --> 00:46:29,599
How are we fixed
for supplies on this end?

848
00:46:29,637 --> 00:46:31,264
Perkis wiped us out.

849
00:46:31,305 --> 00:46:34,240
There isn't a Gummi Bear
left in this entire camp.

850
00:46:36,777 --> 00:46:39,803
Whew. I am doggin' it
this morning.

851
00:46:41,915 --> 00:46:44,679
Ahh. Come on, T.

852
00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:47,209
Now let's do it up.

853
00:46:47,254 --> 00:46:48,516
Whew!

854
00:46:50,457 --> 00:46:52,448
<i>Start me up.</i>

855
00:46:54,795 --> 00:46:56,194
Come on.

856
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,630
Hurry up, guys.
We don't have all day.

857
00:46:58,666 --> 00:47:01,066
Lift those legs.

858
00:47:02,169 --> 00:47:04,103
Looks pretty sturdy, guys.

859
00:47:07,341 --> 00:47:10,174
- Hurry up, man.
- I'm trying.

860
00:47:11,345 --> 00:47:14,610
Roy, you're up first.
Give it a shot.

861
00:47:14,648 --> 00:47:16,639
Simms,
you're my lookout man.

862
00:47:16,684 --> 00:47:19,653
Give me a boost. Up, up.

863
00:47:19,687 --> 00:47:20,881
Uhh!

864
00:47:22,423 --> 00:47:23,583
<i>Aah!</i>

865
00:47:33,367 --> 00:47:35,062
All right.
Gerry, check this room out.

866
00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:36,626
Roy, Nicholas,
you guys come with me...

867
00:47:36,670 --> 00:47:37,898
and be quiet about it.

868
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,236
That candy's gotta be
in here somewhere.

869
00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:43,334
<i>I'll find the candy.</i>

870
00:47:43,377 --> 00:47:45,470
Where's the sweets?

871
00:47:48,115 --> 00:47:50,447
- Over here.
- What do you got?

872
00:47:56,090 --> 00:47:58,718
Come on, you devil log!

873
00:47:58,759 --> 00:48:00,750
Uhh!

874
00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:05,458
Oh!

875
00:48:05,499 --> 00:48:07,262
- Hurry up.
- All right, all right.

876
00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:11,831
"Perkisize with Tony"?

877
00:48:11,872 --> 00:48:13,772
That's me!

878
00:48:15,042 --> 00:48:16,532
I'm skinny.

879
00:48:19,913 --> 00:48:22,211
- Come on, Josh!
- I'm trying!

880
00:48:22,249 --> 00:48:23,716
If you can't get it,
we need to leave.

881
00:48:25,219 --> 00:48:26,379
Yeah!

882
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,855
Uhh!

883
00:48:32,860 --> 00:48:34,623
Thanks, Captain.

884
00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:39,198
I'm doggin' it, Pat!

885
00:48:41,802 --> 00:48:43,133
<i>Letters?</i>

886
00:48:47,307 --> 00:48:49,571
You guys,
these are our letters home.

887
00:48:49,610 --> 00:48:53,944
No way. This guy is sick!

888
00:48:53,981 --> 00:48:56,347
This is the letter
I wrote my grandma!

889
00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:08,054
Oh!

890
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,998
Pack it up, guys.
Let's move!

891
00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:18,368
Oh, no. We're dead!

892
00:49:24,478 --> 00:49:27,038
He's coming! He's coming!

893
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,014
He's coming!

894
00:49:32,186 --> 00:49:33,551
Roy, the picture!

895
00:49:33,587 --> 00:49:35,418
Josh, the drawers!

896
00:49:41,295 --> 00:49:42,990
Put the whites away, Gerry.
Help me!

897
00:49:43,030 --> 00:49:46,193
- Whites right here.
- Just throw it in!

898
00:49:46,233 --> 00:49:49,259
Oooooo-ahhhh!

899
00:49:50,904 --> 00:49:53,532
Wait a sec!
Where's Nicholas?

900
00:49:56,643 --> 00:49:58,611
You guys go. I'll get him.

901
00:49:58,645 --> 00:50:00,306
Let's move it, Roy.

902
00:50:00,347 --> 00:50:02,872
Nickie! Nicholas!

903
00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:07,682
Mmm!

904
00:50:07,721 --> 00:50:10,155
What are you doing?
He's coming!

905
00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:15,489
Get down.

906
00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:18,626
Gerry, come on!

907
00:50:29,376 --> 00:50:33,005
- Oh, my. I didn't mean to.
- Just go!

908
00:50:34,515 --> 00:50:35,777
Uhh!

909
00:50:47,261 --> 00:50:48,455
Oh!

910
00:50:53,033 --> 00:50:55,331
Uhh!

911
00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:00,300
Scatter!

912
00:51:31,738 --> 00:51:32,898
Coast clear?

913
00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:34,430
- That was close.
- Clear!

914
00:51:34,474 --> 00:51:36,999
- Whoo!
- We did it.

915
00:51:37,044 --> 00:51:40,013
You really showed
some guts out there, Cappy.

916
00:51:40,047 --> 00:51:42,572
One of those fish and chips
farts there, Nickie?

917
00:51:42,616 --> 00:51:44,140
I extend my deepest apologies--

918
00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:47,312
Wait! Wrapper.

919
00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,482
- What?
- Food wrapper.

920
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:51,855
Come on!

921
00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:56,890
Who's in there?
What have you got?

922
00:51:56,930 --> 00:52:00,127
Nothing! No one!
Just go away!

923
00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:06,005
Where'd you get that?!

924
00:52:06,039 --> 00:52:07,233
I found it?

925
00:52:07,274 --> 00:52:09,367
You found it.
Come here, you little punk!

926
00:52:09,409 --> 00:52:11,377
- Tell us!
- Yeah, tell us!

927
00:52:11,411 --> 00:52:13,436
All right!
OK! I'll tell you!

928
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,210
You gotta keep it a secret.

929
00:52:20,253 --> 00:52:23,188
<i># I know a guy</i>
<i>who's tough but sweet #</i>

930
00:52:24,791 --> 00:52:27,624
<i># He's so fine,</i>
<i>he can't be beat #</i>

931
00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:31,960
<i># He's got everything</i>
<i>that I desire #</i>

932
00:52:33,634 --> 00:52:36,296
<i># Sets the summer sun</i>
<i>on fire #</i>

933
00:52:37,804 --> 00:52:40,238
<i># I want candy #</i>

934
00:52:44,511 --> 00:52:47,173
<i># Go to see him</i>
<i>when the sun goes down #</i>

935
00:52:48,949 --> 00:52:51,645
<i># Ain't no finer boy</i>
<i>in town #</i>

936
00:52:52,819 --> 00:52:55,879
<i># I want candy #</i>

937
00:52:57,724 --> 00:53:00,056
<i># I want candy #</i>

938
00:53:01,161 --> 00:53:02,389
<i># Hey! #</i>

939
00:53:04,931 --> 00:53:07,627
<i>OK, everyone.</i>
<i>Here we go.</i>

940
00:53:07,668 --> 00:53:09,602
Hey, I'm not rolling yet.

941
00:53:13,306 --> 00:53:15,274
Are you rolling now, Kenneth?

942
00:53:15,308 --> 00:53:17,776
- Speed.
- Does that mean rolling?

943
00:53:17,811 --> 00:53:19,836
Yes, it does.

944
00:53:21,081 --> 00:53:22,844
<i>OK, everyone.</i>
<i>Clap your hands!</i>

945
00:53:27,521 --> 00:53:30,888
We've reached the midpoint
of our great experiment.

946
00:53:30,924 --> 00:53:32,983
Parents' Day
is just around the corner...

947
00:53:33,026 --> 00:53:35,392
and I think they're gonna be
very, very pleased.

948
00:53:35,429 --> 00:53:36,919
Remember to wear
your name tags.

949
00:53:36,963 --> 00:53:40,490
I don't think
they'll recognize you.

950
00:53:40,534 --> 00:53:41,933
Now it's time to see...

951
00:53:41,968 --> 00:53:44,732
what the Perkis system means
in pure loss of poundage.

952
00:53:44,771 --> 00:53:47,763
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.

953
00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:50,208
Phillip Rubinoff,
step up, son.

954
00:53:51,878 --> 00:53:54,142
All right,
let's see how you're doing...

955
00:53:54,181 --> 00:53:56,115
you little whippersnapper.

956
00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:03,085
You're two pounds heavier
than when you came to camp...

957
00:54:03,123 --> 00:54:04,613
but we can fix that.
All we have to do...

958
00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:06,216
is decrease his food intake...

959
00:54:06,259 --> 00:54:08,420
and increase
his metabolic output.

960
00:54:08,462 --> 00:54:10,453
All right!
Step off the scale, son.

961
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:13,125
Muscle weighs more than fat!

962
00:54:13,166 --> 00:54:15,794
<i>All right! OK!</i>

963
00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:19,932
Gerald Garner.
Step on up, Gerald.

964
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:24,276
- Good luck.
- Go get 'em, Captain.

965
00:54:25,445 --> 00:54:28,278
Hello, Gerald.
Moment of truth.

966
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:32,917
Hmm?

967
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,988
You've gained nine pounds.

968
00:54:43,029 --> 00:54:45,520
Have you been cheating?

969
00:54:45,565 --> 00:54:47,294
Turn off the camera.

970
00:54:47,334 --> 00:54:49,302
Let me make something
very clear.

971
00:54:49,336 --> 00:54:51,531
The Perkis system
does not work...

972
00:54:51,571 --> 00:54:55,337
with cheaters
like Gerald Garner, OK?

973
00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:58,776
How can I sell an infomercial
about fat kids...

974
00:54:58,879 --> 00:55:02,371
who can't keep their
piggy little snouts shut?

975
00:55:02,415 --> 00:55:05,213
Who's gonna buy that?
Step off the scale.

976
00:55:08,622 --> 00:55:11,887
OK. Turn on the camera.

977
00:55:11,925 --> 00:55:14,587
Josh Birnbaum, step on up!

978
00:55:14,628 --> 00:55:16,892
Get on the scale, son!
All right!

979
00:55:18,765 --> 00:55:19,925
- Get off the scale.
- OK, then.

980
00:55:19,966 --> 00:55:22,958
Turn off the camera.
All right.

981
00:55:23,003 --> 00:55:25,995
All right, fine.
I blame myself.

982
00:55:27,140 --> 00:55:28,368
You know what?

983
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:31,502
I don't blame myself.
No, not this time, Tony.

984
00:55:31,545 --> 00:55:33,536
Excuse me one second.

985
00:55:38,385 --> 00:55:40,353
How you doin', little Tony?

986
00:55:40,387 --> 00:55:41,684
Bad.

987
00:55:41,721 --> 00:55:43,279
Why do you feel bad?

988
00:55:43,323 --> 00:55:45,052
Because everything's
falling apart...

989
00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:46,786
and I can't do anything
about it.

990
00:55:46,827 --> 00:55:49,261
It's not your fault.

991
00:55:49,296 --> 00:55:51,230
I know it's not my fault,
but whose fault is it...

992
00:55:51,264 --> 00:55:52,526
if it's not my fault?

993
00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:54,864
It's their fault.
That's right.

994
00:55:54,901 --> 00:55:56,459
It's their fault!

995
00:55:56,503 --> 00:55:59,131
You have failed,
and you will pay!

996
00:55:59,172 --> 00:56:00,833
Tomorrow morning at 0600...

997
00:56:00,874 --> 00:56:02,967
everyone who has not met
their weight loss goal...

998
00:56:03,009 --> 00:56:04,738
will join me
on a 20-mile hike.

999
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:07,941
Pack light, boys.
The party's over.

1000
00:56:07,981 --> 00:56:10,950
Twenty miles? Tony!

1001
00:56:10,984 --> 00:56:13,452
Tony, sir,
with all due respect...

1002
00:56:13,486 --> 00:56:15,784
I don't think it's healthy
to subject the--

1003
00:56:15,822 --> 00:56:17,517
Healthy? Oh, healthy!

1004
00:56:17,557 --> 00:56:20,651
The fat man is gonna tell me
what's healthy!

1005
00:56:20,694 --> 00:56:22,753
I'm just saying that--

1006
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:24,354
You just--You--I--

1007
00:56:24,397 --> 00:56:26,388
I think if--
To subject the kids--

1008
00:56:26,433 --> 00:56:27,764
Know what? It's funny.

1009
00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:31,464
Nobody really cares
what you have to say.

1010
00:56:31,504 --> 00:56:33,631
You're a negativity-spreader.

1011
00:56:33,673 --> 00:56:36,164
You're contaminating my well,
Finley...

1012
00:56:36,209 --> 00:56:38,473
and I won't have it.

1013
00:56:40,513 --> 00:56:42,845
Let's make the best
of this afternoon.

1014
00:56:47,854 --> 00:56:49,344
<i>It's OK, man.</i>

1015
00:56:49,389 --> 00:56:51,357
<i>Forget it, Pat.</i>

1016
00:57:10,042 --> 00:57:12,272
Hey.

1017
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,013
They're having a barbecue
over at Camp MVP tonight.

1018
00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:19,984
Carolina ribs.

1019
00:57:20,019 --> 00:57:23,682
The pork, not the beef.

1020
00:57:23,722 --> 00:57:26,748
I wonder what it would feel like
to be one of those guys.

1021
00:57:26,792 --> 00:57:30,751
Just once I want to score
a winning touchdown.

1022
00:57:30,796 --> 00:57:31,990
In my entire life...

1023
00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:34,864
I've never scored a point
in anything.

1024
00:57:37,903 --> 00:57:39,530
Gerry.

1025
00:57:42,108 --> 00:57:44,576
I'm just so tired
of being the fat guy.

1026
00:57:45,978 --> 00:57:48,208
I know, Pat...

1027
00:57:48,247 --> 00:57:50,909
but you don't want to be
one of those guys.

1028
00:57:50,950 --> 00:57:53,976
They're jerks.

1029
00:57:55,754 --> 00:57:56,982
Forget them.

1030
00:57:57,022 --> 00:57:58,853
Yeah, forget them.

1031
00:57:58,891 --> 00:58:00,916
Yeah.

1032
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:02,825
Forget you!

1033
00:58:02,862 --> 00:58:05,854
Keep your washboard stomachs
and your oily muscles!

1034
00:58:05,898 --> 00:58:07,923
I don't want them!

1035
00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:13,029
I'm still tired
of being the fat guy.

1036
00:58:13,072 --> 00:58:14,630
Come on, Pat.
You're cool.

1037
00:58:14,673 --> 00:58:16,106
Everybody knows that.

1038
00:58:16,142 --> 00:58:18,633
I feel cool.

1039
00:58:18,677 --> 00:58:22,238
Being humiliated by that psycho
today was pretty cool.

1040
00:58:22,281 --> 00:58:23,942
Oh, yeah.

1041
00:58:23,983 --> 00:58:26,281
I've been
a lot of help to you guys.

1042
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,055
At least you stood up to him.

1043
00:58:34,827 --> 00:58:36,761
Nobody else had the guts to.

1044
00:58:38,430 --> 00:58:40,227
We should've backed you up.

1045
00:58:41,934 --> 00:58:45,734
When are we going to start
sticking up for ourselves?

1046
00:58:49,141 --> 00:58:53,271
Now, Gerry.
How about right now?

1047
00:58:53,312 --> 00:58:56,713
Yeah. Let's go get everybody
and kick his ass!

1048
00:58:56,749 --> 00:58:59,411
Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa.

1049
00:58:59,451 --> 00:59:01,078
We got to be smart here.

1050
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,781
There's some proper channels
to go through...

1051
00:59:02,821 --> 00:59:05,551
but you get those guys
through the hike tomorrow.

1052
00:59:05,591 --> 00:59:07,286
I'll do everything
I can back here.

1053
00:59:07,326 --> 00:59:08,884
You be the leader now, Captain.

1054
00:59:08,928 --> 00:59:11,624
He is one, we are many.

1055
00:59:11,664 --> 00:59:12,926
His days are numbered.

1056
00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:15,729
- He's not so tough.
- Yeah!

1057
00:59:18,904 --> 00:59:22,237
This is the day we separate
the men from the boys.

1058
00:59:24,210 --> 00:59:27,111
Hightail it back to camp, Lars.
It'll be a rough one.

1059
00:59:27,146 --> 00:59:30,638
I don't want to see any slackers
or hear any whiners.

1060
00:59:30,683 --> 00:59:33,914
There'll be no food.
This is a cleansing hike.

1061
00:59:33,953 --> 00:59:37,753
Just Father Sky, Mother Earth...

1062
00:59:37,790 --> 00:59:39,815
and your dear old Uncle Tony.

1063
00:59:48,567 --> 00:59:52,264
Use the swatting motion
as an isometric exercise.

1064
00:59:53,739 --> 00:59:56,674
My dogs are killing me.

1065
00:59:56,709 --> 00:59:59,200
Gosh, somebody
going to die today.

1066
00:59:59,245 --> 01:00:00,610
Call 911.

1067
01:00:00,646 --> 01:00:02,944
Did you ever hear
the story of Icarus...

1068
01:00:02,982 --> 01:00:06,110
who continually rolled
the ball up the hill?

1069
01:00:06,151 --> 01:00:08,085
But when he got too close...

1070
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,385
the ball melted
in the heat of the sun.

1071
01:00:11,423 --> 01:00:13,755
You're all like Icarus.

1072
01:00:17,896 --> 01:00:20,387
Aah! Aah!

1073
01:00:27,806 --> 01:00:29,000
- Whoa!
- Aah!

1074
01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:31,009
Thank you, Gerry.

1075
01:00:43,322 --> 01:00:45,722
Uhh!

1076
01:00:46,959 --> 01:00:49,189
Get up, Cody.

1077
01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:51,924
Leave him.
He's a straggler.

1078
01:00:51,964 --> 01:00:55,491
Stragglers must be left
to fend for themselves.

1079
01:00:55,534 --> 01:00:57,024
I was.

1080
01:00:57,069 --> 01:00:58,969
Get up, Cody.
We need to go.

1081
01:01:01,273 --> 01:01:03,002
Did you talk to Child Welfare?

1082
01:01:03,042 --> 01:01:05,875
They'd be glad to
come out and investigate...

1083
01:01:05,911 --> 01:01:08,345
but they can't come
for two weeks.

1084
01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:11,110
That's too long.
What did your lawyer buddy say?

1085
01:01:11,150 --> 01:01:13,914
It's dicey. We don't
have any hard evidence.

1086
01:01:13,952 --> 01:01:16,386
Tony's the hard evidence.
Just look at him.

1087
01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:18,185
That's what the lawyer said.

1088
01:01:18,223 --> 01:01:22,159
- So we have nothing.
- Basically.

1089
01:01:22,194 --> 01:01:25,789
You guys seen Tony?

1090
01:01:25,831 --> 01:01:30,097
That moron owes me 600 bucks.
I'll kill that guy.

1091
01:01:30,135 --> 01:01:33,002
<i>Busting my ass</i>
<i>around here for nothing.</i>

1092
01:01:41,580 --> 01:01:43,514
Feel the chi.

1093
01:01:52,124 --> 01:01:54,524
Repulse the monkey.

1094
01:01:59,498 --> 01:02:04,902
<i>Part the wild horse's mane.</i>

1095
01:02:04,937 --> 01:02:06,131
I say we push him.

1096
01:02:06,171 --> 01:02:08,969
No jury in the world
could convict us.

1097
01:02:10,309 --> 01:02:11,742
<i>Strike the chi.</i>

1098
01:02:11,777 --> 01:02:15,907
No. Too messy.
We can do better.

1099
01:02:22,388 --> 01:02:23,821
Great.

1100
01:02:23,856 --> 01:02:26,848
You've all done
much better than expected...

1101
01:02:26,892 --> 01:02:28,985
so I've got
a little surprise for you.

1102
01:02:29,027 --> 01:02:31,359
I've decided to extend
the hike indefinitely.

1103
01:02:31,397 --> 01:02:33,024
- What?
- That's right.

1104
01:02:33,065 --> 01:02:34,259
You won't return to camp...

1105
01:02:34,299 --> 01:02:35,823
Until you're
in the leanest, meanest...

1106
01:02:35,868 --> 01:02:38,359
bestest shape
of your short lives...

1107
01:02:38,404 --> 01:02:40,167
with one goal in mind--

1108
01:02:40,205 --> 01:02:44,471
to defeat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.

1109
01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:46,774
Quite the ending to
a late-night infomercial, hmm?

1110
01:02:46,812 --> 01:02:49,645
We don't want to play MVP.
We want to have fun.

1111
01:02:49,681 --> 01:02:51,842
<i>Yeah!</i>

1112
01:02:51,884 --> 01:02:54,148
Cody wants to have fun.

1113
01:02:54,186 --> 01:02:57,178
All right, Cody,
let's have some fun.

1114
01:03:00,592 --> 01:03:02,389
Whee-ha!

1115
01:03:02,428 --> 01:03:04,259
- Oh, my--
- Whoa!

1116
01:03:04,296 --> 01:03:06,890
I'm on the top of the world!

1117
01:03:06,932 --> 01:03:11,869
Yeah!
How's this for fun, Cody?

1118
01:03:11,904 --> 01:03:15,032
Sam? Why don't you
come out and join me?

1119
01:03:15,073 --> 01:03:17,166
I'm on my way.

1120
01:03:17,209 --> 01:03:18,870
He's going to get us killed.

1121
01:03:18,911 --> 01:03:21,573
- We got to do something.
- Yeah, but what?

1122
01:03:21,613 --> 01:03:23,513
What's that? I missed it.

1123
01:03:23,549 --> 01:03:29,385
I was just saying
we need a little rest.

1124
01:03:29,421 --> 01:03:30,911
Good idea.

1125
01:03:30,956 --> 01:03:32,856
Let's take an hour
meditation break.

1126
01:03:32,891 --> 01:03:34,825
Then we're going to climb
that 1,000-foot rock face...

1127
01:03:34,860 --> 01:03:37,488
over there with
our bare hands and feet.

1128
01:03:37,529 --> 01:03:39,497
I know you can do it.

1129
01:03:39,531 --> 01:03:42,989
Until then, observe
the silence of the chi.

1130
01:03:46,939 --> 01:03:49,373
- Shoot.
- Let's do something.

1131
01:03:49,408 --> 01:03:51,035
I don't know.

1132
01:03:51,076 --> 01:03:53,772
Ohmmmm...

1133
01:03:55,347 --> 01:03:57,838
<i>- You're lying.</i>
<i>- I don't believe in you.</i>

1134
01:03:57,883 --> 01:04:01,882
<i>You can't do it!</i>

1135
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,753
Hahh! Cripes.

1136
01:04:04,790 --> 01:04:08,419
What is all the commotion?

1137
01:04:08,460 --> 01:04:12,624
We realize we've been lazy,
and we want to change.

1138
01:04:12,664 --> 01:04:15,633
It's time we all got
our acts together, buddy.

1139
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:18,101
Good! Good!

1140
01:04:18,136 --> 01:04:20,036
It's amazing what
a little food deprivation...

1141
01:04:20,072 --> 01:04:21,869
can do to adjust
your attitude, huh?

1142
01:04:21,907 --> 01:04:23,101
Can I ask you a question?

1143
01:04:23,141 --> 01:04:25,632
Go ahead, Roy. Ask away.

1144
01:04:25,677 --> 01:04:28,544
Is it possible to do a sit-up
if you can't see or hear?

1145
01:04:28,580 --> 01:04:31,413
Yes, Roy, it is possible.

1146
01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:34,613
Gerry says it's impossible.

1147
01:04:34,653 --> 01:04:37,383
Why don't we rock Gerry's world?

1148
01:04:37,422 --> 01:04:39,686
Come on.

1149
01:04:39,725 --> 01:04:42,455
Uncle Tony's going
to do a little demo.

1150
01:04:44,162 --> 01:04:46,858
There are so many myths
about the abdominal muscles.

1151
01:04:46,899 --> 01:04:48,992
I am happy to put
this one to rest.

1152
01:04:49,034 --> 01:04:52,060
See, Gerry? I told you.

1153
01:04:52,104 --> 01:04:54,334
Now, remember, Uncle Tony...

1154
01:04:54,373 --> 01:04:55,772
don't get up till
the count of three.

1155
01:04:55,807 --> 01:04:59,402
- I know the rules.
- OK, good.

1156
01:04:59,444 --> 01:05:00,911
All right, everyone.
Ready?

1157
01:05:00,946 --> 01:05:04,074
One, two, three!

1158
01:05:04,116 --> 01:05:05,447
Kiss my butt!

1159
01:05:05,484 --> 01:05:09,818
Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah!

1160
01:05:09,855 --> 01:05:11,345
Uhh! Uhh!

1161
01:05:11,390 --> 01:05:13,324
Pretty impressive stuff,
huh, Tony?

1162
01:05:13,358 --> 01:05:14,985
You disgust me.

1163
01:05:15,027 --> 01:05:16,688
Come here!

1164
01:05:16,728 --> 01:05:19,219
Come here!
Get out of my way!

1165
01:05:19,264 --> 01:05:20,424
What are we waiting for?

1166
01:05:20,465 --> 01:05:21,864
Come on!

1167
01:05:21,900 --> 01:05:23,595
<i>Run, Josh!</i>

1168
01:05:26,138 --> 01:05:28,265
Halt!

1169
01:05:28,307 --> 01:05:30,969
Run! Run! Go!

1170
01:05:31,009 --> 01:05:34,035
Ow! Ooh! Hamstring!

1171
01:05:34,079 --> 01:05:36,377
Well, congratulations.

1172
01:05:36,415 --> 01:05:38,349
You've just joined
the 76% of Americans...

1173
01:05:38,383 --> 01:05:40,317
who forget to stretch
before physical activity.

1174
01:05:40,352 --> 01:05:42,343
Aah!

1175
01:05:47,359 --> 01:05:48,951
<i>Let me see.</i>

1176
01:05:48,994 --> 01:05:51,019
<i>Ohh...</i>

1177
01:05:51,063 --> 01:05:54,624
Uhh. Uhh.

1178
01:05:54,666 --> 01:05:56,691
Gentlemen...

1179
01:05:56,735 --> 01:06:01,229
we've reached
the point of no return.

1180
01:06:01,273 --> 01:06:02,831
Yeah!

1181
01:06:07,678 --> 01:06:09,839
The only problem is,
Kenny wants a lot of money.

1182
01:06:09,881 --> 01:06:11,143
How much?

1183
01:06:11,182 --> 01:06:13,173
Much more than
they pay camp counselors.

1184
01:06:13,217 --> 01:06:14,650
Great. Why don't
we have a bake sale?

1185
01:06:14,685 --> 01:06:16,949
What are you doing back
already?

1186
01:06:16,988 --> 01:06:19,149
Where's the other guys?
You OK?

1187
01:06:19,190 --> 01:06:20,521
I'm fine, I'm fine.

1188
01:06:20,558 --> 01:06:24,358
Good. We're still working on
a plan to get rid of Tony.

1189
01:06:24,395 --> 01:06:25,589
Wait till
you hear what we got.

1190
01:06:25,630 --> 01:06:26,824
That's great, guys...

1191
01:06:26,864 --> 01:06:29,264
but we came up
with a plan of our own.

1192
01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:31,598
That is so cute.

1193
01:06:31,636 --> 01:06:34,696
Whatever. Come with me.

1194
01:06:41,479 --> 01:06:43,640
I have got a bad feeling.

1195
01:06:43,681 --> 01:06:46,479
Just try to stay open-minded.

1196
01:06:50,154 --> 01:06:53,419
- Password, please?
- Yankee doodles.

1197
01:06:58,029 --> 01:06:59,792
Oh, good God.

1198
01:06:59,831 --> 01:07:02,356
Ooh! Uhh!

1199
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:04,027
This is unbelievable.

1200
01:07:04,068 --> 01:07:05,933
So, what was your plan?

1201
01:07:05,970 --> 01:07:07,995
What do you think
you're doing?

1202
01:07:08,039 --> 01:07:09,631
Taking over the camp.

1203
01:07:09,674 --> 01:07:12,370
<i>- Oh, good God!</i>
<i>- This is insane!</i>

1204
01:07:12,410 --> 01:07:13,775
This is great.

1205
01:07:13,811 --> 01:07:15,779
Pat, you know what?
He snapped.

1206
01:07:15,813 --> 01:07:17,440
He was swinging
from a branch.

1207
01:07:17,482 --> 01:07:20,178
He was going to make us
climb a mountain.

1208
01:07:20,218 --> 01:07:22,015
Guys, you can't kidnap
the owner of a camp.

1209
01:07:22,053 --> 01:07:24,214
They give people
the chair for this.

1210
01:07:24,255 --> 01:07:26,120
It was self-defense.
You got to believe us.

1211
01:07:26,157 --> 01:07:27,749
I believe you.

1212
01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:30,260
This ends right now.

1213
01:07:30,294 --> 01:07:32,762
Get out of my way, Simms.

1214
01:07:32,797 --> 01:07:35,027
Yankee doodles.

1215
01:07:36,767 --> 01:07:39,827
Tony, I'm so sorry.
I'll untie you right away.

1216
01:07:39,871 --> 01:07:42,738
Uhh! Thank you.

1217
01:07:42,773 --> 01:07:46,140
When this is all over,
I'm going to deliver...

1218
01:07:46,177 --> 01:07:47,667
one well-placed kick
to your groin...

1219
01:07:47,712 --> 01:07:49,304
that'll stop you from
ever having children...

1220
01:07:49,347 --> 01:07:50,678
you worthless piece of--

1221
01:07:50,715 --> 01:07:54,617
Are these ropes tight enough?
We can get more.

1222
01:07:54,652 --> 01:07:58,418
I was going to help you out,
but now...

1223
01:07:58,456 --> 01:08:00,253
I have to take you down.

1224
01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,282
- All right!
- Yeah! Go!

1225
01:08:02,326 --> 01:08:05,420
I always wanted
to say that to somebody.

1226
01:08:05,463 --> 01:08:08,227
Guys, it looks like
we have to play this out.

1227
01:08:08,266 --> 01:08:10,826
I think there might be
a way out of this...

1228
01:08:10,868 --> 01:08:12,130
but if we're going
to succeed...

1229
01:08:12,169 --> 01:08:14,899
we have to stick together
and work as a team.

1230
01:08:14,939 --> 01:08:16,600
<i>Uhh!</i>

1231
01:08:18,543 --> 01:08:20,374
I'll see you all in hell!

1232
01:08:20,411 --> 01:08:22,208
Oh!

1233
01:08:22,246 --> 01:08:24,476
With all the bears
in these woods, Lars...

1234
01:08:24,515 --> 01:08:27,973
I doubt that you'll be
seeing much of anything.

1235
01:08:28,019 --> 01:08:32,012
- Bears love honey.
- Honey?

1236
01:08:32,056 --> 01:08:34,524
Chipmunks, move out.

1237
01:08:34,559 --> 01:08:37,824
Lars, have a nice summer.

1238
01:08:37,862 --> 01:08:41,229
- I didn't mean it.
- Heh heh heh!

1239
01:08:41,265 --> 01:08:42,789
I'm sorry. I...

1240
01:08:42,833 --> 01:08:44,960
Ow!

1241
01:08:45,002 --> 01:08:46,970
Aah! I hate you!

1242
01:08:47,004 --> 01:08:49,097
You're awful!

1243
01:08:49,140 --> 01:08:51,267
Please help me!

1244
01:08:51,309 --> 01:08:52,867
I have candy.

1245
01:08:52,910 --> 01:08:55,174
Candy.

1246
01:08:55,212 --> 01:08:58,443
Good boy.
You've come to free me.

1247
01:08:58,482 --> 01:09:00,006
Ohh!

1248
01:09:03,254 --> 01:09:04,619
Think we're going
a little too far here, guys?

1249
01:09:04,655 --> 01:09:08,182
No, man. There are no bears
in these woods.

1250
01:09:08,225 --> 01:09:12,093
<i>Aah! Aah!</i>

1251
01:09:12,129 --> 01:09:14,427
No bears, huh?

1252
01:09:14,465 --> 01:09:17,491
<i>Aah!</i>

1253
01:09:20,938 --> 01:09:22,496
Help me!

1254
01:09:22,540 --> 01:09:26,067
Don't you have any decency?
Help me!

1255
01:09:30,381 --> 01:09:31,780
Look at the little deer.

1256
01:09:31,816 --> 01:09:35,411
Mr. Deer,
I am a vegetarian.

1257
01:10:02,079 --> 01:10:05,947
Yeah!

1258
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:11,187
<i>Wake up, Tony.</i>

1259
01:10:11,222 --> 01:10:13,281
<i>Tonight is Evaluation Night.</i>

1260
01:10:13,324 --> 01:10:15,417
<i>The key word here is "value."</i>

1261
01:10:15,459 --> 01:10:17,120
<i>Do you have any?</i>

1262
01:10:17,161 --> 01:10:19,459
<i>No way,</i>
<i>because you're a loser</i>--

1263
01:10:19,497 --> 01:10:21,692
<i>a loser</i>
<i>with a skinny wiener.</i>

1264
01:10:21,732 --> 01:10:24,963
<i>So, relax...</i>
<i>and repeat after me.</i>

1265
01:10:25,002 --> 01:10:26,799
<i>I am a loser.</i>

1266
01:10:26,837 --> 01:10:28,566
<i>I smell.</i>

1267
01:10:28,606 --> 01:10:31,006
<i>I have no friends.</i>

1268
01:10:31,042 --> 01:10:32,236
<i>Now breathe and relax.</i>

1269
01:10:32,276 --> 01:10:35,712
Please, shut that off!

1270
01:10:38,916 --> 01:10:40,349
Ohh!

1271
01:10:40,384 --> 01:10:42,909
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

1272
01:10:42,953 --> 01:10:45,012
Wow!

1273
01:10:57,501 --> 01:10:58,695
All right!

1274
01:11:05,142 --> 01:11:07,167
Thank you very much
for stopping on by.

1275
01:11:07,211 --> 01:11:09,702
Pass it on by.
I'll take one of those.

1276
01:11:09,747 --> 01:11:12,215
Party! Yeah!

1277
01:11:12,249 --> 01:11:16,117
Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim?

1278
01:11:16,153 --> 01:11:17,984
Whoo-hoo!

1279
01:11:19,890 --> 01:11:22,620
He looks like a human s'more.

1280
01:11:22,660 --> 01:11:26,653
Look at that food.
I should get down there.

1281
01:11:26,697 --> 01:11:28,995
No, Pat, don't go.

1282
01:11:31,869 --> 01:11:34,235
Stay here with me.

1283
01:11:35,272 --> 01:11:38,730
- Aah!
- Shut up.

1284
01:11:38,776 --> 01:11:41,574
Hey, Lars, guess what?
We're in charge now.

1285
01:11:41,612 --> 01:11:43,045
Know what we found out?

1286
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:46,641
If you don't have a job,
you get deported...

1287
01:11:46,684 --> 01:11:49,346
so, Lars, buddy, pal...

1288
01:11:49,386 --> 01:11:52,287
you with us,
or are you against us?

1289
01:11:52,323 --> 01:11:55,520
I am with you.

1290
01:11:55,559 --> 01:11:57,459
I love you.

1291
01:12:02,633 --> 01:12:04,863
I thought they were
supposed to be on diets.

1292
01:12:04,902 --> 01:12:06,062
I think they're cheating.

1293
01:12:37,768 --> 01:12:41,761
Good God!
Can anybody hear me?

1294
01:13:11,735 --> 01:13:14,727
Excuse me.

1295
01:13:30,554 --> 01:13:33,455
Time to wake up, children.

1296
01:13:33,490 --> 01:13:34,855
Good morning!

1297
01:13:34,892 --> 01:13:37,656
Huh? Huh?

1298
01:13:40,731 --> 01:13:43,359
Who wants to tell us
the lesson we learned here?

1299
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:45,960
Don't put Twinkies
on your pizza.

1300
01:13:46,003 --> 01:13:48,801
No. I think
what we learned here...

1301
01:13:48,839 --> 01:13:52,331
is something about
personal responsibility.

1302
01:13:52,376 --> 01:13:54,367
From now on, each of us...

1303
01:13:54,411 --> 01:13:56,845
is in charge of
their own diets.

1304
01:13:56,881 --> 01:13:59,111
We have to learn
some self-control.

1305
01:13:59,149 --> 01:14:02,312
Isn't that right, Tim?

1306
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:06,387
You got it.
I'm ashamed of all of you.

1307
01:14:06,423 --> 01:14:08,015
Come on!

1308
01:14:08,058 --> 01:14:10,618
We got to get healthy
for ourselves.

1309
01:14:10,661 --> 01:14:12,629
If we'd start
respecting ourselves...

1310
01:14:12,663 --> 01:14:14,324
no one can touch us.

1311
01:14:14,365 --> 01:14:17,027
That's right.
You heard me.

1312
01:14:17,067 --> 01:14:18,500
We're as good as anybody...

1313
01:14:18,535 --> 01:14:21,060
and it's about time
we started acting that way.

1314
01:14:21,105 --> 01:14:22,265
We got to take control
of ourselves...

1315
01:14:22,306 --> 01:14:24,331
before we take control
of this camp.

1316
01:14:24,375 --> 01:14:25,842
Who's with me?

1317
01:14:25,876 --> 01:14:28,037
Who wants to do
this thing right?

1318
01:14:29,079 --> 01:14:30,478
It's up to you.

1319
01:14:38,222 --> 01:14:39,883
<i>I will.</i>

1320
01:14:56,707 --> 01:14:59,369
- Everybody ready?
- Yeah!

1321
01:14:59,410 --> 01:15:01,935
OK, let's go!

1322
01:15:07,918 --> 01:15:11,012
Is a tomato
a fruit or a vegetable?

1323
01:15:11,055 --> 01:15:13,023
- Fruit.
- That's right.

1324
01:15:13,057 --> 01:15:17,357
Today, we're going to make
pasta primavera.

1325
01:15:42,453 --> 01:15:44,819
Hey, how you doing?

1326
01:15:49,526 --> 01:15:52,495
- There he is.
- Hey, I'm over here!

1327
01:15:52,529 --> 01:15:55,293
Gerry! Oh!

1328
01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:59,393
Hey, big guy. Look at you.

1329
01:15:59,436 --> 01:16:01,904
- You look the same.
- I feel good.

1330
01:16:01,939 --> 01:16:05,272
That's important, too.

1331
01:16:05,309 --> 01:16:06,708
So?

1332
01:16:06,744 --> 01:16:09,542
Come with me.
I'll take you around.

1333
01:16:09,580 --> 01:16:12,572
- He hasn't lost a pound.
- Oh, Maury.

1334
01:16:18,856 --> 01:16:21,791
Don't be frightened, Nicholas.

1335
01:16:21,825 --> 01:16:23,816
I'm a beaten man.

1336
01:16:45,282 --> 01:16:47,477
Good afternoon, everyone.

1337
01:16:47,518 --> 01:16:50,214
Good afternoon.
I'm Pat Finley.

1338
01:16:50,254 --> 01:16:51,653
You probably recognize me...

1339
01:16:51,688 --> 01:16:53,849
from my work in the Camp Hope
promotional video.

1340
01:16:53,891 --> 01:16:57,657
Right now, I'd like to play
another video...

1341
01:16:57,694 --> 01:17:00,128
to show you people
just what it's been like...

1342
01:17:00,164 --> 01:17:01,961
so far this summer.

1343
01:17:01,999 --> 01:17:04,399
<i>This'll be great.</i>

1344
01:17:04,434 --> 01:17:06,994
<i>Enjoy.</i>

1345
01:17:12,109 --> 01:17:14,202
Aah!

1346
01:17:15,679 --> 01:17:18,204
Die! Yaah!

1347
01:17:20,017 --> 01:17:21,450
As a health care
professional...

1348
01:17:21,485 --> 01:17:23,316
I would like to take
this opportunity...

1349
01:17:23,353 --> 01:17:25,480
to warn you that
Tony Perkis's program...

1350
01:17:25,522 --> 01:17:29,891
is not only ineffective,
it's downright dangerous.

1351
01:17:32,596 --> 01:17:36,997
<i># Everywhere I go,</i>
<i>I'm late #</i>

1352
01:17:37,034 --> 01:17:38,729
My grandma
runs faster than you...

1353
01:17:38,769 --> 01:17:40,862
and she's only got one leg!

1354
01:17:40,904 --> 01:17:42,735
<i>Say it one more time,</i>
<i>because it'll multiply.</i>

1355
01:17:42,773 --> 01:17:45,105
- 40 push-ups?
- 60! Down! Now!

1356
01:17:45,142 --> 01:17:46,609
- 80!
- I can't--

1357
01:17:46,643 --> 01:17:49,373
He is strict.

1358
01:18:01,291 --> 01:18:03,759
Kiss the ground, joker boy.

1359
01:18:03,794 --> 01:18:06,763
Would you get
your foot off my back?

1360
01:18:06,797 --> 01:18:09,061
Now you see what
we've been dealing with.

1361
01:18:09,099 --> 01:18:12,034
Why didn't you tell us
about this?

1362
01:18:26,450 --> 01:18:28,475
You've been
a good guard, Nicholas--

1363
01:18:28,518 --> 01:18:30,543
strong and fair.

1364
01:18:30,587 --> 01:18:34,887
Your queen would be proud.

1365
01:18:34,925 --> 01:18:40,022
I'd like to reward you
with this chocolate kiss.

1366
01:18:46,603 --> 01:18:48,127
<i>Oh!</i>

1367
01:18:48,171 --> 01:18:49,502
Yeah!

1368
01:18:49,539 --> 01:18:52,599
Where have you been
all my life?

1369
01:18:52,643 --> 01:18:54,611
I'm going to love this.

1370
01:18:54,645 --> 01:18:56,772
Oh, my God.
I'm going to be sick.

1371
01:18:56,813 --> 01:18:57,973
Nice touch.

1372
01:18:58,015 --> 01:19:00,279
I thought
I'd spice it up a little.

1373
01:19:00,317 --> 01:19:03,252
It gives you
that warm feeling inside?

1374
01:19:03,287 --> 01:19:05,084
Throw it over.

1375
01:19:05,122 --> 01:19:07,317
But it would smush.

1376
01:19:07,357 --> 01:19:09,518
That wouldn't be good.

1377
01:19:11,662 --> 01:19:14,529
No dinner, no lunch,
no breakfast.

1378
01:19:14,564 --> 01:19:16,964
How's that grab you?

1379
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,798
Take the candy.

1380
01:19:21,738 --> 01:19:24,798
Nice and chocolatey.

1381
01:19:24,841 --> 01:19:27,776
Chocolicious.

1382
01:19:27,811 --> 01:19:30,439
Whoops.

1383
01:19:30,480 --> 01:19:32,175
Butterfingers.

1384
01:19:36,153 --> 01:19:37,415
Aah!

1385
01:19:37,454 --> 01:19:39,081
Well, well...

1386
01:19:39,122 --> 01:19:42,057
looks like London bridge
is falling down, huh?

1387
01:19:42,092 --> 01:19:43,320
Help!

1388
01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:44,588
How do you like the food
here at Camp Hope?

1389
01:19:44,628 --> 01:19:45,822
It's good stuff.

1390
01:19:45,862 --> 01:19:47,887
Wait till I finish
asking you the question.

1391
01:19:47,931 --> 01:19:49,455
Just say,
"I love the food."

1392
01:19:49,499 --> 01:19:51,126
- I love the food.
- Good. Here we go.

1393
01:19:51,168 --> 01:19:52,760
So, Josh, how do you
like the food here?

1394
01:19:52,803 --> 01:19:53,997
I love the food.

1395
01:19:54,037 --> 01:19:55,698
Wait until
I finish the question!

1396
01:19:55,739 --> 01:19:57,832
<i>Damn! Forget it!</i>

1397
01:19:57,874 --> 01:20:00,001
If he isn't stopped
right away...

1398
01:20:00,043 --> 01:20:04,070
somebody's child--
maybe yours--

1399
01:20:04,114 --> 01:20:06,048
will be hurt.

1400
01:20:06,083 --> 01:20:08,483
<i>Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes!</i>

1401
01:20:08,518 --> 01:20:12,750
That was wonderful!

1402
01:20:12,789 --> 01:20:14,723
Whoo!

1403
01:20:14,758 --> 01:20:17,591
So entertaining.

1404
01:20:17,627 --> 01:20:21,563
The cinematography,
the editing techniques.

1405
01:20:21,598 --> 01:20:23,395
Though I must say...

1406
01:20:23,433 --> 01:20:28,370
the villain
was a bit over the top.

1407
01:20:31,742 --> 01:20:35,405
Ouch.
Everyone having fun?

1408
01:20:35,445 --> 01:20:37,504
Parents!

1409
01:20:37,547 --> 01:20:41,381
You're the cause of
all my--their problems!

1410
01:20:41,418 --> 01:20:42,851
He escaped!

1411
01:20:42,886 --> 01:20:44,945
You little
British butterball...

1412
01:20:44,988 --> 01:20:46,853
I ought to show you what
it means to be an American!

1413
01:20:46,890 --> 01:20:48,881
Now you realize what
we've been dealing with.

1414
01:20:48,925 --> 01:20:50,358
He has to be stopped!

1415
01:20:50,394 --> 01:20:53,488
Ho ho! Stop me, hmm?

1416
01:20:56,833 --> 01:21:00,496
Uhh! I'm too strong!

1417
01:21:00,537 --> 01:21:02,698
Uhh! Ah!

1418
01:21:02,739 --> 01:21:05,970
I'm too motivated!

1419
01:21:06,009 --> 01:21:09,308
And you're too weak!

1420
01:21:09,346 --> 01:21:12,474
Aah! Uhh!

1421
01:21:12,516 --> 01:21:14,814
Especially you,
Garner, Gerald...

1422
01:21:14,851 --> 01:21:18,287
age 11, 141 pounds!

1423
01:21:18,321 --> 01:21:20,414
So, come on!
You want a piece of me, Pops?

1424
01:21:20,457 --> 01:21:23,255
No one's taking
this camp away from me!

1425
01:21:23,293 --> 01:21:26,057
Ooh!

1426
01:21:26,096 --> 01:21:29,896
I'm afraid you're wrong.
You are through here.

1427
01:21:29,933 --> 01:21:32,800
- Are you OK?
- I'm all right.

1428
01:21:32,836 --> 01:21:34,428
You have to take a stand.

1429
01:21:34,471 --> 01:21:37,338
Uhh! Guhh!

1430
01:21:38,575 --> 01:21:39,769
<i>Oh!</i>

1431
01:21:41,311 --> 01:21:45,543
Uhh! Ahh!

1432
01:21:54,090 --> 01:21:56,957
<i>- We did it, Roy.</i>
<i>- Yes, we did.</i>

1433
01:21:59,296 --> 01:22:02,459
Sorry to ask you to deal
with this, Mr. Perkis.

1434
01:22:02,499 --> 01:22:04,262
That kid was always
a little off.

1435
01:22:04,301 --> 01:22:05,598
My parents didn't hug me.

1436
01:22:05,635 --> 01:22:08,103
You don't see me freaking out
like a little baby.

1437
01:22:09,906 --> 01:22:11,874
I'm going to take a bath
on this.

1438
01:22:11,908 --> 01:22:13,341
Listen, everybody...

1439
01:22:13,376 --> 01:22:15,742
don't freak out,
don't call your lawyers.

1440
01:22:15,779 --> 01:22:17,041
We'll get you your money back.

1441
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,809
We make nice,
everybody's happy,

1442
01:22:18,849 --> 01:22:20,680
But for now,
we close down the camp.

1443
01:22:20,717 --> 01:22:22,150
Everybody go home.

1444
01:22:22,185 --> 01:22:23,880
Have a nice summer.
I got to get out of here.

1445
01:22:23,920 --> 01:22:27,549
I'd love to chat.
Good luck to all of you.

1446
01:22:27,591 --> 01:22:29,559
- Say something.
- Mr. Perkis, sir.

1447
01:22:29,593 --> 01:22:30,958
Papa.

1448
01:22:30,994 --> 01:22:34,623
Papa, we don't want to go home.

1449
01:22:34,664 --> 01:22:35,858
Wait a minute.

1450
01:22:35,899 --> 01:22:37,298
If you kids
want to stick it out...

1451
01:22:37,334 --> 01:22:39,461
all I need to do is
put an adult in charge--

1452
01:22:39,503 --> 01:22:43,963
put it on the responsibility
clause for the insurance.

1453
01:22:44,007 --> 01:22:46,339
Who's been here the longest?

1454
01:22:46,376 --> 01:22:50,039
- Four years.
- One year.

1455
01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,274
- Two.
- Four years.

1456
01:22:51,314 --> 01:22:52,872
- Three.
- Five.

1457
01:22:52,916 --> 01:22:55,316
Eighteen years.

1458
01:22:55,352 --> 01:22:57,081
Eighteen?

1459
01:22:57,120 --> 01:22:59,315
- Whoa.
- 18 years.

1460
01:22:59,356 --> 01:23:01,688
What the hell have you
been doing with yourself?

1461
01:23:01,725 --> 01:23:04,387
Are you up to it?

1462
01:23:06,663 --> 01:23:08,654
Pat. Pat.

1463
01:23:08,698 --> 01:23:12,099
Pat! Pat! Pat!

1464
01:23:18,975 --> 01:23:20,169
I'll sure try.

1465
01:23:20,210 --> 01:23:22,371
Hooray.
Ooh, yeah, OK.

1466
01:23:22,412 --> 01:23:23,777
Congratulations.
Here you go.

1467
01:23:23,813 --> 01:23:26,907
Do the hokey-pokey
and knock yourself out.

1468
01:23:31,655 --> 01:23:32,815
All right, Pat.

1469
01:23:32,856 --> 01:23:34,653
Enjoy yourselves.
You deserve it.

1470
01:23:35,759 --> 01:23:37,021
I'm proud of you.

1471
01:23:42,599 --> 01:23:44,624
<i>Dear Grandma...</i>

1472
01:23:44,667 --> 01:23:46,635
<i>things have really</i>
<i>turned around at camp.</i>

1473
01:23:46,736 --> 01:23:49,102
<i>We're finally having</i>
<i>a great time.</i>

1474
01:23:49,138 --> 01:23:51,299
Uhh!

1475
01:23:51,341 --> 01:23:53,536
Whoo!

1476
01:23:53,576 --> 01:23:56,807
Yee-haw!

1477
01:23:59,249 --> 01:24:02,150
<i>We're in control,</i>
<i>and we like it.</i>

1478
01:24:02,185 --> 01:24:04,983
<i>We're putting things back</i>
<i>to the way they were...</i>

1479
01:24:05,021 --> 01:24:07,455
<i>and no one is going</i>
<i>to mess it up again.</i>

1480
01:24:11,060 --> 01:24:13,620
Hey, Chris.

1481
01:24:13,663 --> 01:24:16,063
Where's the motor, man?

1482
01:24:16,099 --> 01:24:17,691
<i>With Pat in charge...</i>

1483
01:24:17,734 --> 01:24:19,998
<i>we are united,</i>
<i>and we are strong.</i>

1484
01:24:20,036 --> 01:24:21,264
Can I get that wrench,
Phillip?

1485
01:24:21,304 --> 01:24:23,704
Thank you.
Josh, how we doing?

1486
01:24:23,740 --> 01:24:25,901
Got a bent axle over here.

1487
01:24:25,942 --> 01:24:27,409
<i>We can do anything...</i>

1488
01:24:27,443 --> 01:24:31,504
<i>even take on Camp MVP</i>
<i>in the Apache Relay.</i>

1489
01:24:31,547 --> 01:24:34,482
<i>And we can win--I think.</i>

1490
01:24:34,517 --> 01:24:36,280
<i>Welcome, everybody...</i>

1491
01:24:36,319 --> 01:24:39,220
<i>to the 33rd Annual</i>
<i>Apache Relay games</i>--

1492
01:24:39,255 --> 01:24:41,621
<i>the favorites, Camp MVP...</i>

1493
01:24:41,658 --> 01:24:44,559
<i>versus the perennial losers,</i>
<i>Camp Hope.</i>

1494
01:24:44,594 --> 01:24:47,427
<i>This relay today</i>
<i>will consist of three parts--</i>

1495
01:24:47,463 --> 01:24:50,830
<i>an obstacle course,</i>
<i>the Hall of Intelligence...</i>

1496
01:24:50,867 --> 01:24:52,858
<i>and the Grand Prix.</i>

1497
01:24:52,902 --> 01:24:55,200
May the best team win.

1498
01:24:55,238 --> 01:24:57,297
All right, Cody,
give it your best shot.

1499
01:24:57,340 --> 01:24:59,035
<i>Put a little pizzazz in it.</i>

1500
01:24:59,075 --> 01:25:02,044
<i>On your mark, get set...</i>

1501
01:25:12,055 --> 01:25:13,886
Get up, get up!

1502
01:25:17,994 --> 01:25:19,393
Uhh!

1503
01:25:19,429 --> 01:25:21,488
<i>Looks like</i>
<i>an MVP romp again, folks.</i>

1504
01:25:23,533 --> 01:25:24,795
Uhh!

1505
01:25:26,235 --> 01:25:29,363
<i>Go, go, go!</i>

1506
01:25:47,890 --> 01:25:49,482
Here, take it!

1507
01:25:49,525 --> 01:25:55,486
Whoa!

1508
01:25:55,531 --> 01:25:58,398
<i>Keep going.</i>
<i>You got it, man. Yeah.</i>

1509
01:25:58,434 --> 01:26:00,595
<i>It's just a couple more.</i>

1510
01:26:00,636 --> 01:26:02,001
<i>Come on.</i>

1511
01:26:03,573 --> 01:26:05,040
Up. All right, here.

1512
01:26:05,074 --> 01:26:07,269
OK. All right. Ready?

1513
01:26:07,310 --> 01:26:08,675
Uhh!

1514
01:26:14,617 --> 01:26:15,914
<i>Yeah!</i>

1515
01:26:18,287 --> 01:26:21,745
- Aww.
- Give me the balloon.

1516
01:26:21,791 --> 01:26:26,524
<i>All right.</i>
<i>You can do it. It's easy.</i>

1517
01:26:26,562 --> 01:26:28,894
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

1518
01:26:35,271 --> 01:26:36,636
I know you thought
we'd get creamed...

1519
01:26:36,672 --> 01:26:40,768
but I don't think
you'll get creamed riding this.

1520
01:26:40,810 --> 01:26:42,368
Whoa!

1521
01:26:42,412 --> 01:26:44,676
Did a little work on the motor.

1522
01:26:44,714 --> 01:26:45,874
Whoa.

1523
01:26:45,915 --> 01:26:48,440
You better
take that feather off.

1524
01:26:48,484 --> 01:26:51,647
I don't think
it'll fit under this.

1525
01:26:53,990 --> 01:26:56,584
<i>Camp MVP is</i>
<i>setting a course record...</i>

1526
01:26:56,626 --> 01:26:59,060
<i>as they move into</i>
<i>the Hall of Intelligence.</i>

1527
01:27:06,302 --> 01:27:07,735
Solve the equation.

1528
01:27:07,770 --> 01:27:09,294
- 55.
- No.

1529
01:27:09,338 --> 01:27:11,238
- 17?
- Nein.

1530
01:27:11,274 --> 01:27:12,434
Nine is the answer?

1531
01:27:12,475 --> 01:27:14,500
"Nein" is German for "no."

1532
01:27:18,114 --> 01:27:19,979
Artist and title, please.

1533
01:27:20,016 --> 01:27:21,415
Cher?

1534
01:27:23,086 --> 01:27:24,314
No.

1535
01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:26,913
<i>Solve the equation.</i>

1536
01:27:28,724 --> 01:27:29,918
Eleven.

1537
01:27:29,959 --> 01:27:32,985
Wunderbar. You may advance.

1538
01:27:33,029 --> 01:27:36,260
You must now name
five American vice presidents.

1539
01:27:36,299 --> 01:27:38,358
Quayle.

1540
01:27:38,401 --> 01:27:40,528
- George Washington.
- No.

1541
01:27:40,570 --> 01:27:43,971
- Quayle.
- You said that already.

1542
01:27:44,006 --> 01:27:45,871
Cher?

1543
01:27:45,908 --> 01:27:47,671
Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa."

1544
01:27:47,710 --> 01:27:50,474
Van Gogh's
"Houses at Auvers."

1545
01:27:50,513 --> 01:27:54,108
Botticelli's "La Primavera."

1546
01:27:54,150 --> 01:27:55,412
<i>Over at</i>
<i>the Hall of Intelligence...</i>

1547
01:27:55,451 --> 01:27:57,817
<i>Camp Hope has almost</i>
<i>caught up to Camp MVP.</i>

1548
01:27:57,854 --> 01:27:59,185
<i>Can you believe it?</i>

1549
01:27:59,222 --> 01:28:01,122
<i>This is going to be</i>
<i>quite some finish, folks.</i>

1550
01:28:01,157 --> 01:28:03,022
Right is gas,
left is brake.

1551
01:28:04,861 --> 01:28:07,193
- Alexander Haig?
- Sorry.

1552
01:28:07,230 --> 01:28:10,427
- Caught you.
- Shut up.

1553
01:28:10,466 --> 01:28:13,526
Nicholas, name five
American vice presidents.

1554
01:28:13,569 --> 01:28:16,367
Levi P. Morton,
John Calhoun...

1555
01:28:16,405 --> 01:28:19,135
Hubert Humphrey,
Spiro Agnew...

1556
01:28:19,175 --> 01:28:20,699
Walter Mondale.

1557
01:28:20,743 --> 01:28:22,904
That's perfect.
You may advance.

1558
01:28:22,945 --> 01:28:26,142
You Americans
have no sense of history.

1559
01:28:26,182 --> 01:28:28,514
<i>Home stretch! Go, go!</i>

1560
01:28:28,551 --> 01:28:30,576
Accelerate into the turns.
Don't forget.

1561
01:28:30,620 --> 01:28:31,917
Use your weight.
Lean into them.

1562
01:28:31,954 --> 01:28:34,889
Be careful.
This guy drives dirty.

1563
01:28:34,924 --> 01:28:37,222
<i>- Thanks, Pat.</i>
<i>- Go get 'em.</i>

1564
01:28:41,397 --> 01:28:43,729
Nicholas!

1565
01:28:45,868 --> 01:28:47,665
Come on!

1566
01:28:50,540 --> 01:28:52,872
I don't want to put
any pressure on you, Big Al...

1567
01:28:52,909 --> 01:28:56,242
but we have never lost
this race, all right?

1568
01:28:58,147 --> 01:29:00,308
Don't forget your wings, man.

1569
01:29:02,919 --> 01:29:04,978
Take 'em down, Captain.

1570
01:29:40,656 --> 01:29:42,920
Yeah! Ah ha!

1571
01:29:47,029 --> 01:29:49,793
Hey! Back off!

1572
01:29:51,334 --> 01:29:53,234
Whoa!

1573
01:29:53,269 --> 01:29:55,203
<i>Ha ha!</i>
<i>So long, sucker!</i>

1574
01:29:55,238 --> 01:29:57,229
Whoa! Aah!

1575
01:29:59,508 --> 01:30:01,339
Uhh!

1576
01:30:03,346 --> 01:30:05,678
Oh, shoot!

1577
01:30:05,715 --> 01:30:07,512
Come on!

1578
01:30:19,462 --> 01:30:21,487
Oh, no! Oh!

1579
01:30:35,411 --> 01:30:38,175
Go, Gerry.
They're coming!

1580
01:30:38,214 --> 01:30:40,011
<i>All right, all right.</i>

1581
01:30:42,752 --> 01:30:44,617
Go! Go, Gerry!

1582
01:30:49,859 --> 01:30:52,327
Hey! Come on!

1583
01:30:52,361 --> 01:30:55,956
- Come on!
- No!

1584
01:31:06,342 --> 01:31:07,570
Unh!

1585
01:31:10,379 --> 01:31:11,573
He's still behind!

1586
01:31:13,883 --> 01:31:15,350
He can't pass!

1587
01:31:18,387 --> 01:31:19,854
Come on! Unh!

1588
01:31:19,889 --> 01:31:21,652
No way!

1589
01:31:21,691 --> 01:31:23,921
Come on, Captain!
Come on, baby!

1590
01:31:40,843 --> 01:31:42,037
Ohhh.

1591
01:31:47,450 --> 01:31:51,443
Oooooooh!

1592
01:31:56,392 --> 01:31:58,587
Aah! Yeah!

1593
01:31:58,627 --> 01:31:59,924
Oh!

1594
01:32:09,605 --> 01:32:11,630
All right, Gerry!

1595
01:32:11,674 --> 01:32:15,269
- I flew, Pat!
- I know!

1596
01:32:15,311 --> 01:32:16,835
Hip-hip hooray!

1597
01:32:16,879 --> 01:32:20,542
Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip hooray!

1598
01:32:26,789 --> 01:32:29,189
- Yeah!
- All right!

1599
01:32:31,861 --> 01:32:35,729
You'll be happy to know that
we're filing a formal protest.

1600
01:32:35,765 --> 01:32:37,232
That cup belongs to us.

1601
01:32:37,266 --> 01:32:39,928
Oh, the cup?
This is what you want?

1602
01:32:39,969 --> 01:32:42,233
This is what your life
is all about, Chris?

1603
01:32:42,271 --> 01:32:45,138
I tell you what,
I'll airmail it...

1604
01:32:45,174 --> 01:32:46,539
back to camp for you,
all right?

1605
01:32:46,575 --> 01:32:48,736
Take care of that, Simms?

1606
01:32:56,018 --> 01:32:58,350
You're crazy!

1607
01:32:58,387 --> 01:32:59,615
You bet I'm crazy.

1608
01:32:59,655 --> 01:33:01,623
<i>Come on! Get that cup!</i>

1609
01:33:01,657 --> 01:33:04,148
- Oh!
- Crazy about my gal.

1610
01:33:04,193 --> 01:33:07,287
Whoo!

1611
01:33:14,904 --> 01:33:16,269
Whoo!

1612
01:33:20,376 --> 01:33:21,968
Hey, Pat...

1613
01:33:22,011 --> 01:33:24,343
thanks for the best
damn summer of my life!

1614
01:33:24,380 --> 01:33:26,143
Same here, Captain.

1615
01:33:27,583 --> 01:33:29,073
Whoo!

1616
01:33:37,659 --> 01:33:38,819
All right, guys!

1617
01:33:38,860 --> 01:33:41,385
Let's sing the inspiring
Camp Hope song!

1618
01:33:42,697 --> 01:33:44,460
Aw, come on! Here we go!

1619
01:33:44,499 --> 01:33:47,229
<i># Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we sing to thee #</i>

1620
01:33:47,269 --> 01:33:48,429
Come on, guys, sing!

1621
01:33:48,470 --> 01:33:50,062
<i># The greatest camp
in history #</i>

1622
01:33:50,105 --> 01:33:51,265
<i># A place for boys-- #</i>

1623
01:33:51,306 --> 01:33:53,672
Come on, Tim,
that song's boring.

1624
01:33:53,708 --> 01:33:54,868
Sing something cool.

1625
01:33:54,910 --> 01:33:56,673
You want to hear
something cool?

1626
01:33:56,711 --> 01:33:58,975
OK, cats, let's rock it.

1627
01:34:02,851 --> 01:34:05,081
Yow...huh!

1628
01:34:06,955 --> 01:34:09,515
<i># Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
the place for boys #</i>

1629
01:34:09,558 --> 01:34:11,219
<i># We got no girls,
we got no toys #</i>

1630
01:34:11,259 --> 01:34:13,523
<i># The bunks are hard,
the cabins hot #</i>

1631
01:34:13,562 --> 01:34:15,689
<i># Last night,
a snake crawled in my cot #</i>

1632
01:34:15,730 --> 01:34:17,891
<i># Make sure
the shower door is shut #</i>

1633
01:34:17,933 --> 01:34:19,833
<i># Or else the 'squitos
bite your butt #</i>

1634
01:34:19,868 --> 01:34:22,029
<i># And don't swim past
when your friends make #</i>

1635
01:34:22,070 --> 01:34:23,833
<i># A warm spot in the lake #</i>

1636
01:34:23,872 --> 01:34:26,033
All right, guys,
you're getting the hang of it!

1637
01:34:26,074 --> 01:34:27,336
Come on!

1638
01:34:27,375 --> 01:34:29,343
<i># Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
please give us food #</i>

1639
01:34:29,377 --> 01:34:31,402
<i># We're starving in
a rotten mood #</i>

1640
01:34:31,446 --> 01:34:33,471
<i># But still we're hanging
with our friends #</i>

1641
01:34:33,515 --> 01:34:36,313
<i># So we hope
summer never ends #</i>

1642
01:34:36,351 --> 01:34:39,650
All right!
Sounds good! Here we go!

1643
01:34:39,688 --> 01:34:43,488
<i># Here's a tip
that you should try #</i>

1644
01:34:43,525 --> 01:34:47,655
<i># If people laugh
when you walk by #</i>

1645
01:34:47,696 --> 01:34:51,826
<i># Just walk right up
and proudly state #</i>

1646
01:34:51,866 --> 01:34:56,030
<i># Hey, back off, Jack,
I'm a heavyweight #</i>

1647
01:34:56,071 --> 01:34:59,507
<i># Back off, Jack,
we're all heavyweights #</i>

1648
01:34:59,541 --> 01:35:01,907
All right, guys!
Hey, look who's here!

1649
01:35:01,943 --> 01:35:04,070
<i># My name is Pat,
And he's our pal #</i>

1650
01:35:04,112 --> 01:35:06,171
<i># And I'm Nurse Julie,
She's Pat's gal #</i>

1651
01:35:06,214 --> 01:35:08,478
<i># You know I'm Tim,
And we're his band #</i>

1652
01:35:08,516 --> 01:35:10,984
<i># And I am
Kenny the cameraman #</i>

1653
01:35:11,019 --> 01:35:12,953
Stop!
Stop that stupid song!

1654
01:35:12,988 --> 01:35:14,250
You call that music?

1655
01:35:14,289 --> 01:35:17,850
<i># I know you think
you're all rock stars #</i>

1656
01:35:17,892 --> 01:35:20,986
<i># But here's
an oompah song from Lars #</i>

1657
01:35:21,029 --> 01:35:23,725
<i># About my favorite
Camp Hope job #</i>

1658
01:35:23,765 --> 01:35:26,427
<i># The day that
I harpooned the Blob #</i>

1659
01:35:26,468 --> 01:35:29,164
<i># And just
to make it very clear #</i>

1660
01:35:29,204 --> 01:35:32,071
<i># I was not scared of
that big deer #</i>

1661
01:35:32,107 --> 01:35:34,735
<i># And although
Tony is not here #</i>

1662
01:35:34,776 --> 01:35:37,210
<i># I still enjoy Camp Hope #</i>

1663
01:35:37,245 --> 01:35:39,338
Thanks, Lars.
That's great.

1664
01:35:39,381 --> 01:35:41,315
All right, guys,
you ready to take it home?

1665
01:35:41,349 --> 01:35:43,214
- Yeah!
- Let's rock!

1666
01:35:43,251 --> 01:35:45,685
<i># Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we all had fun #</i>

1667
01:35:45,720 --> 01:35:48,086
<i># And now our time
here's almost done #</i>

1668
01:35:48,123 --> 01:35:50,523
<i># But we'll come back
again next year #</i>

1669
01:35:50,558 --> 01:35:53,026
<i># Because our friends
will all be here #</i>

1670
01:35:53,061 --> 01:35:55,291
<i># And here's a tip
that you should try #</i>

1671
01:35:55,330 --> 01:35:57,696
<i># If people laugh
when you walk by #</i>

1672
01:35:57,732 --> 01:36:00,166
<i># Just walk right up
and proudly state #</i>

1673
01:36:00,201 --> 01:36:02,294
<i># Back off, Jack #</i>

1674
01:36:02,337 --> 01:36:07,434
<i># I'm a heavyweight! #</i>

1675
01:36:07,475 --> 01:36:10,842
All right, guys,
that sounds great, yeah!

1676
01:36:10,879 --> 01:36:12,642
We got a bunch of
heavyweights here?

1677
01:36:12,681 --> 01:36:14,046
Are you guys heavyweights?

1678
01:36:14,082 --> 01:36:16,949
I said, are you
guys heavyweights?

1679
01:36:16,985 --> 01:36:18,179
Gerry,
are you a heavyweight?

1680
01:36:18,219 --> 01:36:19,846
- Yeah!
- All right, Gerry!

1681
01:36:19,888 --> 01:36:21,879
Now the rest of you guys!
Are you all heavyweights?

1682
01:36:21,923 --> 01:36:23,083
Yeah!

1683
01:36:23,124 --> 01:36:25,354
Counselors,
are we all heavyweights?

1684
01:36:25,393 --> 01:36:26,860
Yeah!
We're heavyweights!

1685
01:36:26,895 --> 01:36:28,920
- Pat, are you heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight!

1686
01:36:28,963 --> 01:36:30,430
Nurse Julie,
are you a heavyweight?

1687
01:36:30,465 --> 01:36:31,727
I'm a heavyweight!

1688
01:36:31,766 --> 01:36:34,792
- Lars, are you a heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight, Tim!

1689
01:36:34,836 --> 01:36:36,895
Kenny the cameraman,
are you a heavyweight?

1690
01:36:36,938 --> 01:36:40,465
- Yes, I'm a heavyweight.
- We're all heavyweights!

1691
01:36:40,508 --> 01:36:43,477
So, Lars, you think
you're coming back next year?

1692
01:36:43,511 --> 01:36:45,706
I don't know, Tim.
I live very far away.

1693
01:36:45,747 --> 01:36:47,180
We'll fly you in.

1694
01:36:47,215 --> 01:36:49,410
Kenny the cameraman,
think you can make it back?

1695
01:36:49,451 --> 01:36:51,146
I might be able
to work something out.

1696
01:36:51,186 --> 01:36:53,416
That'd be very nice.

1697
01:36:53,455 --> 01:36:55,548
What do you say, guys?
Does Camp Hope rule?

1698
01:36:57,058 --> 01:36:59,356
Pat, did you hurt
yourself on the Blob?

1699
01:36:59,394 --> 01:37:01,487
Yeah.
I tore my rotator cuff.

1700
01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:07,734
Good afternoon.

1701
01:37:07,769 --> 01:37:08,963
I know what you're thinking.

1702
01:37:09,003 --> 01:37:11,631
"Another guy hawking healing
crystals door-to-door."

1703
01:37:11,673 --> 01:37:13,163
I don't like
to call them crystals.

1704
01:37:13,208 --> 01:37:15,733
I like to call them
"transformational facilitators."

1705
01:37:15,777 --> 01:37:17,472
Perhaps--