1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:11,445
[WAVES CRASHING]

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

4
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:28,896
[THEME SONG - "HAIL TO THE
MUSKRATS"]

5
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,838
THEME SONG: Hail
to the Muskrats!

6
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,675
The mighty, mighty Muskrats.

7
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,576
ERNEST: How ya doing?

8
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,911
THEME SONG: Hail
to the Muskrats.

9
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,914
The mighty, mighty,
daunting muskrats,

10
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:50,918
Someday the Muskrats prevail.

11
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:54,388
Here the might warrior goes,
to the C, to the Chickasaw--

12
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,890
Come on, ladies, put
a little effort into it.

13
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:07,334
THEME SONG:
Chickadee [INAUDIBLE]

14
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,835
[SHOUTS]

15
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,337
(SHAKILY) Whoa!

16
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:17,311
[BAND PLAYS OFF KEY]

17
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,752
[GROANS]

18
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:42,202
OK, girls, hit the showers.

19
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,870
TEAM: Yeah!

20
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:47,674
THEME SONG: Hail
to the Muskrats.

21
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,176
Hail to the Muskrats.

22
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:56,149
Hail to the Muskrats they do
what all they do the Muskrats.

23
00:01:56,149 --> 00:02:00,120
Cheer for the Muskrats,
we're for the Muskrats.

24
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,623
Hail to the Muskrats!

25
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,092
Wah!

26
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,593
Ow!

27
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:07,594
Ooch ow!

28
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,096
Ow, ow!
Ow!

29
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,097
Ow ow.

30
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:17,070
Ooh, Oh ow.

31
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:22,409
Can anyone [INAUDIBLE]
I need help.

32
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:26,279
[INAUDIBLE]

33
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,882
Way to hustle
out there Cardell.

34
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,251
Good hit, Raymond.

35
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,588
Fane, Fane, Fane, you gotta
use both hands when you punt.

36
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,961
Spinx, you've got to
keep your eyes open.

37
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,896
You're not seeing your
secondary receiver.

38
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,232
[LAUGHS]

39
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,034
I must be doing something
right, tomato head.

40
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,069
We haven't lost
a game this year.

41
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:49,970
Yeah, but--

42
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:54,041
And if we win next week,
we'll be in the district finals.

43
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:59,413
So when I want your advice,
I'll rattle your cage.

44
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,914
I was just trying to
give you the benefit

45
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,849
of my vast years of experience.

46
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:07,020
And open my giant storehouse
of football savvy, know I mean?

47
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,756
If you'd like later I could
give you some pointers.

48
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,657
No.

49
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,829
Yeah, a football
field is 100 yards long,

50
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,865
but it's a game of
inches, of mere inches.

51
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:23,103
Plus football ain't a
sport, football is a art.

52
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,006
And it's all in
the fundamentals,

53
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,141
like blocking and tackling.

54
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,178
Suppose I had this
little problem to tackle.

55
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,880
[WATER DRIPS]

56
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,717
What I need to do is block it.

57
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,087
Then we put the hammer down.

58
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,325
And hold that line.

59
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,937
Yep, the right tool
for the right job

60
00:03:56,937 --> 00:04:01,842
and a firm belief
in the fundamentals.

61
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,245
Yeah, I remember that cold
rainy night when coach Brasswell

62
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,282
walked up to the bench I was
warming and says, (DEEP VOICE)

63
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:12,586
Crazy Legs, what we
need is a miracle.

64
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:54,995
Yeah, Coach Brasswell always
knew who to call on when there

65
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,463
was a tough job to be done.

66
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,332
Crazy, he'd say, he
always called me Crazy--

67
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:05,238
[SCREAMS]

68
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,203
[LAUGHS]

69
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,171
[PIPES CREAK]

70
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,172
Huh?

71
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,675
Uh.

72
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,676
Oh!

73
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,179
Oh, uh.

74
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,149
[SCREAMS]

75
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,131
[WAILS]

76
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,604
[MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"]

77
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,418
RODNEY (ON PA): Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls.

78
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,987
Hello, Muskrats.

79
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,289
The question of the day
is who put the snake

80
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,258
in Karen Turpin's locker?

81
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,193
And where is that snake now?

82
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:34,628
Oh my god, it's huge!

83
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,096
[HISSING]

84
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,199
Can Rodney escape the hideous
clutches of the reptile?

85
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,934
Stay tuned for the
exciting conclusion

86
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,637
of Rodney, King of the Jungle.

87
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,172
[MONKEY SCREECH]

88
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,441
Chickasaw Falls High
School is the glue that holds

89
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:50,477
our entire community together.

90
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:53,513
Closing it down now would
be a fatal blow to the town.

91
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,950
I answer to the taxpayers
of the entire district.

92
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:01,021
And the only way to cut
costs is to consolidate the

93
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,356
obsolete schools like this one.

94
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,425
I realize the
building needs work.

95
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,928
But our students and our
faculty are second to none.

96
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,764
Let's cut to the chase here.

97
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,032
The board is giving
you a four week

98
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,634
probation period to see if
there's anything worth saving.

99
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,003
And personally, I don't see it.

100
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:17,904
Really?

101
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,006
I think you'll be
surprised what you find.

102
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,976
We are on course to graduate
every senior this year

103
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,412
and that's never been done by
any school in the district.

104
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:29,115
That reminds me,
Procter, new regulations.

105
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,185
From here on, all
school employees must

106
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,321
have a high school diploma.

107
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,256
No problem there.

108
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:40,093
Our faculty is fully accredited
and of the highest standards.

109
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,762
You have an Ernest
P. Worrell here.

110
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,231
My records indicate
he never graduated.

111
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,000
Well, yes.

112
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,835
But, but he's not faculty.

113
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,270
You see, he's just--

114
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,905
I don't make the rules.

115
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,608
The regulations
say, all employees.

116
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,114
Here we go.

117
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,490
Excuse me.

118
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,726
Your name wouldn't
be Worrell, would it?

119
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,528
That's me and boy
are you in luck.

120
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,664
You're just in time for
a personal demonstration

121
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,101
of (DEEP VOICE) supremo vac,
the world's most powerful vacuum

122
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,001
cleaner.

123
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,571
Maybe some other time.

124
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:28,074
(LAUGHING)

125
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,311
Your loss.

126
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,814
[SHRIEKING]

127
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,833
(YELLING) Ernest, turn that
thing off and get in here,

128
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:54,734
please!

129
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,677
[FAST PACED JAZZ MUSIC]

130
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,151
[BANGING]

131
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,542
[WHIRRING]

132
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:51,024
A job well done.

133
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:54,527
[DOOR OPENS]

134
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,232
I'm sorry, sir, it never
acted like that before.

135
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,701
And wouldn't you know it,
it's just out of warranty.

136
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,536
We've got a problem, Ernest.

137
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,572
Oh, the leaky faucet
in the locker room?

138
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:06,706
Don't worry about it.

139
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:07,807
It's been taken care of.

140
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,943
Seriously, they've
changed the rules.

141
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:15,949
All school system employees
must be high school graduates.

142
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,420
Or, or what?

143
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,222
Or you have to go.

144
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,925
But, sir, this is my life.

145
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:26,926
This is my career.

146
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,495
This is my spiritual
fulfillment.

147
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:31,631
It's, it's my job.

148
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,335
It's either that or you
have to go back to school.

149
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,302
Oh no!

150
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,504
Not that!

151
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:38,471
Anything but that!

152
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,874
Not back to school!

153
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:50,083
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

154
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,986
RODNEY (OVER PA): Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls.

155
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,154
Got something special today.

156
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,422
Got a new student.

157
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,892
A man I like to call Ernest.

158
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:03,596
Lets all give him a
big Muskrat welcome.

159
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:07,333
Good morning, ladies.

160
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,202
So you're going
to give it a try?

161
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,103
Yes, sir.

162
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,605
You know what that famous
Dr. Frankenstein said,

163
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,776
a brain is a terrible
thing to waste.

164
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,144
Good morning

165
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:19,045
Good luck, Ernest.

166
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,680
You can do it, Ernest!

167
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,584
No problemo heir
teacher a-scientificus.

168
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:25,485
Go ahead.

169
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,954
Don't be late.

170
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:31,391
Ah, he doesn't stand a chance.

171
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,392
Nah.

172
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,860
Nope.

173
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:40,266
152, 152, 152.

174
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,534
152!

175
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,804
There you are my
little locker of love!

176
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:48,975
My little personal port
in a storm of knowledge.

177
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:54,314
My little sanctuary far away
from the teeming masses.

178
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,182
OK, Ernest, you ready?

179
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,083
Yeah.

180
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,184
Let the games begin.

181
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,085
All right, good luck.

182
00:11:59,085 --> 00:11:59,986
Thanks.

183
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:00,887
See ya later, okay?

184
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:01,788
Thanks.

185
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,189
Go get 'em.

186
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,157
Quick review, lets see.

187
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,693
Homeroom, mathematics.

188
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,564
This is supposed
to be memorized, bud.

189
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,832
No, I need that.

190
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,500
What's the matter,
Ernie, did your mommy

191
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,835
hold you back a couple years?

192
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,770
More like a couple
of decades, huh?

193
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,838
Ow.

194
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,073
Here we go.

195
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,241
That's go all my room numbers.

196
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,210
I can't find my way
around without--

197
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,845
Get out of the way, buddy.

198
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,313
That's got my classes on it.

199
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,781
Not too close.

200
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,583
I don't know my
way around, yet.

201
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,453
Come one, guys.

202
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,387
[BELL RINGS]

203
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,189
Please, I I need that.

204
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,524
I get lost, I, I, can't
find my way around.

205
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,472
Hello?

206
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,107
[VOICE ECHOING]

207
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,909
Is anybody there?

208
00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:59,078
Does anybody know
where math class is?

209
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,085
[HORSE NEIGHING]

210
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:09,555
[WESTERN MUSIC]

211
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:24,570
[GULPS]

212
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:33,379
Math class is room 205.

213
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,349
Thanks.

214
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:42,422
Hey, you'll need a hall pass.

215
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,322
Thanks.

216
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:11,784
[HORSE WHINNYING]

217
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,120
All right, class.

218
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,855
Blackboard problem.

219
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,258
[DOOR CREAKS LOUDLY]

220
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,666
A produce truck has
a trailer 12 feet wide

221
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,568
by 10 feet high by 20 feet long.

222
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,069
It carries the load
of oranges, which

223
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,573
are packed 48 to the cotton.

224
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,576
Each cotton is one feet
wide by one feet high by two

225
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,710
and 1/2 feet long.

226
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,611
If--

227
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,947
[SHOES SQUEAKING]

228
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:44,050
--the trailer is fully loaded,
how many oranges does it hold?

229
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,593
Who has the answer?

230
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,594
Anyone?

231
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,495
Yeow!

232
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:56,829
(LAUGHTER)

233
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:57,930
All right, Ernest.

234
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,770
Why don't you step
up to the board

235
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,272
and show us all how
to find the answer?

236
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,777
MALE STUDENT: Man,
this ought to be great.

237
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:11,878
I'd love to.

238
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,388
First, we have to
take into account

239
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,158
that at this time of year the
most likely crop of oranges

240
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,261
are the sweet, juicy
Valencia oranges,

241
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,529
grown mainly in Florida.

242
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:36,202
If these oranges are picked
by overzealous migrant workers

243
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:40,706
some of them may be too ripe
and this could lead to spoilage.

244
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,175
[SPURTING]

245
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:45,578
[LAUGHTER]

246
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,854
Assuming that rot doesn't
spread too quickly,

247
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,523
we could subtract, say,
three oranges per carton

248
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,559
just be on the safe side.

249
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,960
Plus, if there are
any big grapefruit

250
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:06,199
mixed in there or any of those
big, fat, swollen orchard rats.

251
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,967
Sit.

252
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,468
I'm just getting
to the answer.

253
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,503
These big fat rats they--

254
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,404
Now!

255
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,982
[POPPING]

256
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,960
(ANGRILY) Take
your seat, Ernest.

257
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,029
Sit down.

258
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,364
Be my guest.

259
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:39,265
Thank you.

260
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,070
Sit, Ernest.

261
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:47,840
I have told you to
sit, so, please sit!

262
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,776
[RIPS]

263
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:54,213
[TEACHER YELLS]

264
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:11,664
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

265
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,301
All right, ladies.

266
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:19,105
Today we're going to
do a little wrestling.

267
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,273
Who wants to help out?

268
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:26,178
Worrell.

269
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,747
You just volunteered.

270
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,487
I think not, Coach.

271
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,989
With my extensive
background in the WWF

272
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:40,693
and since I've seen every single
Wrestlemania since the Hulkster

273
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,561
was defeated by the
Ultimate Warrior,

274
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,597
I hardly think it would be
fair to the other youngsters.

275
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,498
Uh-huh.

276
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,036
Get up there now!

277
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:53,706
[TEENAGERS CHEERING]

278
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,541
I'll move slowly,
Donald, so you

279
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,476
can observe my cat-like moves.

280
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,751
[LAUGHTER]

281
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:21,133
Coach Carson, you ready?

282
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:24,537
[ROARING]

283
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:33,980
[ROCK MUSIC]

284
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,404
Ay, woah woah!

285
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,344
Yo, where you at?

286
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:21,127
[ERNEST GROANING]

287
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,970
Hey, he's going to
try the atomic drop.

288
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:35,775
Yeow!

289
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,782
[STUDENTS CHEERING]

290
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,819
Coach, coach,
I've got him pinned.

291
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:47,720
Coach!

292
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:54,093
[COACH CARSON SCREAMS]

293
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,530
Hey, come on, Coach!

294
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,435
Woah!

295
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,037
[ERNEST YELLS]

296
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,853
MALE STUDENT: Yo,
that's gonna hurt, man!

297
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,756
Oh, Earnest,
are you all right?

298
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:27,860
That last hold
was clearly illegal.

299
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,329
Ah!

300
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:41,140
(GROANS)

301
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,676
What you're about to see is
for your eyes only, Ernest.

302
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:46,679
If this experiment fell
into the wrong hands,

303
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,781
world governments
would fall, my friend.

304
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,449
Weapons of mass
destruction could

305
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,551
fall into corrupt
hands and Bobby

306
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,120
and I could lose our jobs.

307
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,389
[PIG SNORTING]

308
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,125
What's that on Mogley's head?

309
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:02,528
You are about to witness
the trial run of a Nobel prize

310
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:03,963
winning ticket to the big time!

311
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:04,864
Bobby.

312
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,035
With the aid of
this device, Ernest,

313
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,605
this lowly beast
should be able to solve

314
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,907
this simple mathematical
problem as easily

315
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,575
as it can count and root.

316
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,678
A four!

317
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:20,880
Ernest!

318
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,114
Oh, sorry.

319
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,351
Give him another one, Bobby.

320
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:28,654
[COMPUTER KEYS CLICKING]

321
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,895
Concentrate my little piggy.

322
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:46,739
Come on, make mama
proud, two plus four is?

323
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,040
Seven?

324
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,875
Why?

325
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,577
We were so close.

326
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:54,046
Our family names
in the text books.

327
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,781
Why, Bobby?
Why, Bobby?

328
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:56,682
Why, Bobby?

329
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:57,583
Why?

330
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,957
Nothing to be
ashamed of, Mogley.

331
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:08,494
Math was never a good
subject for me either.

332
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:11,997
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

333
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,670
Well, you know,
just tell me about--

334
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:21,040
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

335
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:26,645
Ah, puppy love.

336
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:30,349
These are the moments to be
treasured for a lifetime.

337
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,317
Yeah right.

338
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,652
Maisy doesn't even
know I'm alive.

339
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,354
Well, have you told
her how you feel?

340
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,355
Are you kidding?

341
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,724
I don't even dare say hello.

342
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:40,893
Well it's probably
best for now.

343
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,462
Your academic pursuits are
the most important things

344
00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,831
in these formative years.

345
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:49,435
Still, the hardened heart
is a lonely traveler.

346
00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:52,972
Should I be writing
this stuff down?

347
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:56,475
Class, class
settle down please.

348
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,478
Settle down, thank you.

349
00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:01,247
As you all know, the
survival of our school

350
00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:04,149
is somewhat in
question at this time.

351
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:06,018
Our very existence
may well depend

352
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:09,521
upon the image we present
to the community at large.

353
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:12,258
That's why we're fortunate
to have Miss Flugal

354
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:14,894
as our new band instructor.

355
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,996
[HARP PLAYS]

356
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,198
She has a reputation for
producing the most delightfully

357
00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:21,367
entertaining halftime shows.

358
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:23,535
I'm sure you'll give her
your complete attention

359
00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:26,739
and cooperation.

360
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:29,041
Hello, I'm Ms. Flugal.

361
00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,709
And I'm looking forward
to getting to know

362
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,279
each and every one of you.

363
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:37,983
With hard work and enthusiasm I
know we can put this band back

364
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:40,853
on the map, so to speak.

365
00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:43,422
Man, with this group she
doesn't stand a chance.

366
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,257
So let's get started.

367
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,794
If everyone will please turn
to Strauss' Blue Danube.

368
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,563
And that will give me a sense
of your musicality thus far.

369
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,712
One two three, two two three,
one two three, two two three.

370
00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:10,215
[MUSIC - JOHANN STRAUSS, "THE
BLUE DANUBE"]

371
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:22,528
[BUBBLES POPPING]

372
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:06,338
[ERNEST YELLS]

373
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,371
Ernest, snap out of it!

374
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:40,572
Oh!

375
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:43,942
[CYMBAL CRASHING]

376
00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:48,147
[ELECTRICITY ZAPPING]

377
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:51,517
So, by applying exactly
six milliwatts of DC power

378
00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:54,686
from these Duracell batteries,
the frogs leg demonstrates what

379
00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:57,489
we call a galvanic response.

380
00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:00,359
And that's what my
project is about.

381
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,227
Did you hear that, Bobby?

382
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,563
He has been using DC
power but we have been

383
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,666
using AC on the you-know-what.

384
00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:09,468
Good report, kid.

385
00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:11,103
Way to bugs that toad.

386
00:26:11,103 --> 00:26:13,539
This is it, Bobby, this is it.

387
00:26:13,539 --> 00:26:19,244
So, you, kid with the yellow
shirt thing, do yours!

388
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:20,446
This is the break
through we've been

389
00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:22,581
waiting for all of these years.

390
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:26,018
If only dad were here to witness
our moment of triumph, yeah?

391
00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:30,823
What?

392
00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:33,525
Eyes up front.

393
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:38,363
One of our most beloved
American writers is Mark Twain.

394
00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:41,533
His real name is Samuel Clemens.

395
00:26:41,533 --> 00:26:45,471
And a number of his works
are considered classics.

396
00:26:45,471 --> 00:26:48,574
Who can tell me the names
of some of the books

397
00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:52,044
Mark Twain wrote?

398
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,512
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]

399
00:26:53,512 --> 00:26:54,413
Ernest!

400
00:26:58,584 --> 00:27:00,719
- Tom Sawyer?
- No!

401
00:27:00,719 --> 00:27:01,753
Life in the Mississippi?

402
00:27:01,753 --> 00:27:04,590
- No!
- Wizard! of Oz?

403
00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:06,658
No, your hat's on fire!

404
00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:08,760
I thought that was Dr. Seuss.

405
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,762
The fire extinguisher!

406
00:27:15,534 --> 00:27:18,904
[YELLING]

407
00:27:23,775 --> 00:27:26,144
To be blunt, I am very
disappointed in you, Ernest.

408
00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:27,412
It seems like
there's little chance

409
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:29,214
of you passing your
regular courses much

410
00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:30,983
less the state examination.

411
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:33,218
Well I realize things
haven't been going too well,

412
00:27:33,218 --> 00:27:35,220
but I'm out of practice.

413
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:38,924
No, I think we'd be best to
just admit the whole experiment

414
00:27:38,924 --> 00:27:40,893
was a mistake and move on.

415
00:27:40,893 --> 00:27:43,228
You mean, I'm finished?

416
00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:44,563
I'm outta here?

417
00:27:44,563 --> 00:27:46,765
I'm on the streets,
up the creek,

418
00:27:46,765 --> 00:27:54,840
down the road, dropped,
purged, cold, fired, flunked?

419
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,542
Please, don't throw me out.

420
00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:57,442
A deal's a deal.

421
00:27:57,442 --> 00:27:59,578
Please don't make me go.

422
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:03,615
I know we had a deal, but,
but I can't let that decision

423
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:04,950
jeopardize the school.

424
00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:06,585
What are you stalling for?

425
00:28:06,585 --> 00:28:07,786
Get rid of this idiot!

426
00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:09,221
He can't cut it.

427
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,356
I can too cut it.

428
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:12,858
I'll make you proud.

429
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:16,562
You'll see, but please, please
give me another chance cause,

430
00:28:16,562 --> 00:28:19,231
cause if I don't have this,
I don't have anything.

431
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:22,267
Well I want to be
fair with you, Ernest.

432
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:25,037
So I'm giving you one more
week to show some improvement.

433
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:26,104
Oh, thank you, sir.

434
00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:27,306
Thank you.

435
00:28:27,306 --> 00:28:29,174
I'll do my best and
it'll be good enough.

436
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:31,743
And everything will
work out, you'll see.

437
00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:33,011
You'll see.

438
00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:35,480
I'm going right now to
study real, real hard.

439
00:28:38,483 --> 00:28:41,954
[DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]

440
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,895
Get rid of this
idiot, he can't cut it.

441
00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:51,597
I can cut it.

442
00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:56,735
Uh, ah, sure, I've never cut it
before, but anyone can change.

443
00:28:56,735 --> 00:29:00,172
MATH TEACHER: Ernest,
you will answer me now.

444
00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:02,174
Could you repeat the question?

445
00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:03,075
AXWELL: Flunk him.

446
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:04,710
He can't cut it.

447
00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:07,646
I can, I know I can.

448
00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:09,281
I think I can.

449
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,617
You are such a loser.

450
00:29:11,617 --> 00:29:12,517
You're hopeless.

451
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:14,052
I'm not.

452
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:15,354
I can change.

453
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:16,688
I just need more time.

454
00:29:16,688 --> 00:29:18,357
FEMALE TEACHER 1: What's
the chief export of Guam?

455
00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:20,025
FEMALE TEACHER 2: Who
wrote the autobiography

456
00:29:20,025 --> 00:29:21,026
of Benjamin Franklin?

457
00:29:21,026 --> 00:29:22,628
MALE TEACHER 1: I
must have your paper.

458
00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,730
MALE TEACHER 2: Who's
buried in Grant's tomb?

459
00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:25,631
MALE TEACHER 1: Papers.

460
00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:28,834
They're right.

461
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:34,740
I can't do it.
[KNOCKS]

462
00:29:34,740 --> 00:29:38,243
GERTA: Ernest, in here.

463
00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,244
Gerta?

464
00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:42,381
GERTA: Yeah, sure.

465
00:29:42,381 --> 00:29:43,882
- What are you doing in there?
- Sh.

466
00:29:43,882 --> 00:29:44,783
Come.

467
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:46,151
And don't let anyone see you.

468
00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:47,019
Come.

469
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,929
[MACHINES WHIRRING]

470
00:30:03,869 --> 00:30:07,606
ERNEST: Gosh, these lockers
hold more than I thought.

471
00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,408
Ernest, come in.

472
00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:10,342
Come.

473
00:30:10,342 --> 00:30:11,710
Step a little closer.

474
00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:12,644
Come on.

475
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,279
It's OK.

476
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,180
Closer.

477
00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:16,882
Stop.

478
00:30:16,882 --> 00:30:19,918
You've been having some problems
with you school work, yeah?

479
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:21,987
Bobby and I would like
to make you an offer

480
00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:23,855
that could change your life.

481
00:30:23,855 --> 00:30:26,224
Not to mention the
course of history.

482
00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:27,225
Well, I'm game.

483
00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:30,896
Good because we've
done it, Ernest.

484
00:30:30,896 --> 00:30:35,167
You are looking at the
world's first subatomic brain

485
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,401
accelerator.

486
00:30:36,401 --> 00:30:37,869
And you are the
lucky student who

487
00:30:37,869 --> 00:30:41,907
has been selected by our blue
ribbon panel, me and Bobby,

488
00:30:41,907 --> 00:30:43,775
for the honor of
being our very first--

489
00:30:43,775 --> 00:30:45,477
Guinea pig.

490
00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:48,447
I prefer the term
mental pioneer.

491
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:49,648
Think of it, Ernest.

492
00:30:49,648 --> 00:30:53,785
All the knowledge in the history
of mankind at your disposal.

493
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:55,787
Well, gosh do you
think this thing

494
00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:58,390
could help me pass a math test?

495
00:30:58,390 --> 00:31:00,692
Pass a math test?

496
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,462
Pass a math test?

497
00:31:03,462 --> 00:31:07,065
Try rewriting the
theory of relativity.

498
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:09,401
Well, if you think
it really needs it.

499
00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:10,502
Now you're talking.

500
00:31:10,502 --> 00:31:12,204
OK, the important thing is
that you're comfortable.

501
00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:13,105
Come sit down.

502
00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:14,439
I want to see if it works here.

503
00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:15,340
Yeah?

504
00:31:15,340 --> 00:31:16,508
Yeah, are you comfy?

505
00:31:16,508 --> 00:31:17,409
Mm-hmm.

506
00:31:17,409 --> 00:31:18,310
Good!

507
00:31:18,310 --> 00:31:19,311
Strap him in, Bobby.

508
00:31:19,311 --> 00:31:22,581
All the straps may not
even be necessary, Ernest.

509
00:31:22,581 --> 00:31:27,285
But that's what being a mental
pioneer is all about, isn't it?

510
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:29,054
Are you ready, Ernest?

511
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,756
Actually I am having
some second thoughts.

512
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,224
Oh! (SHUSHING) No.

513
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:34,726
Now, Bobby, fire it up.

514
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,430
Now, Ernest, get
ready to become smart.

515
00:31:38,430 --> 00:31:40,966
OK, Bobby, let her rip!

516
00:31:40,966 --> 00:31:44,402
[ELECTRONIC BUZZING]

517
00:31:48,373 --> 00:31:50,942
Ernest, how I envy you.

518
00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:53,678
[ERNEST MAKING UNINTELLIGIBLE
SOUNDS]

519
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:08,126
Professor, pull it out to
just the left hemisphere.

520
00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:24,276
Uh, Bobby.

521
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:25,210
Shut it down.

522
00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:31,883
Shut it down!

523
00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:37,222
Ernest?

524
00:32:37,222 --> 00:32:40,325
Oh, Ernest, Ernest, my friend.

525
00:32:40,325 --> 00:32:43,795
Are you in there?

526
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,564
(INTELLIGENTLY) By
saying, are you in there,

527
00:32:45,564 --> 00:32:47,699
you must be making the
philosophical assumption

528
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,467
that I'm a conscious
entity wholly

529
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:52,904
capable of existing outside the
body you see in front of you.

530
00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:55,540
(ERNEST REGULAR VOICE)
Know what I mean?

531
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:56,541
It works!

532
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:57,542
It works!

533
00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:00,745
Oh, Bobby, Bobby,
Bobby, it works!

534
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:01,980
Am I smart now?

535
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:03,815
Oh no, not now.

536
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:07,385
But for a few brief moments
there baby, you were brilliant!

537
00:33:07,385 --> 00:33:09,054
Gosh, fellas, I don't
know how to thank you!

538
00:33:09,054 --> 00:33:10,555
Ah, yeah, nothing.

539
00:33:10,555 --> 00:33:12,624
Listen, you got to get
here bright and early

540
00:33:12,624 --> 00:33:13,758
so that we can load you up.

541
00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:15,594
And if my calculations
are correct,

542
00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,629
a normal sized brain
can only maintain

543
00:33:17,629 --> 00:33:20,899
a charge for about three hours.

544
00:33:20,899 --> 00:33:22,901
So in your case, liebchen,
we're looking at 45 minutes

545
00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:24,736
to an hour tops.

546
00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,339
Well, gosh, maybe this
means I could pass now.

547
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:29,374
Just remember,
Ernest, give yourself

548
00:33:29,374 --> 00:33:32,444
plenty of time to recharge
before every class, OK?

549
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:33,345
Eureka!

550
00:33:36,147 --> 00:33:39,551
[THEME SONG]

551
00:33:48,793 --> 00:33:51,730
RODNEY (ON PA): Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls,

552
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:54,599
and the countdown is on to
find out who'll be little miss

553
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:56,601
perfect, the homecoming queen.

554
00:33:56,601 --> 00:33:58,403
Yeah, real excitement
there, with a win

555
00:33:58,403 --> 00:34:00,705
this week we can go to
the district finals.

556
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,174
We can be football heroes!

557
00:34:03,174 --> 00:34:04,509
(CHEERS)

558
00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:07,646
[ERNEST UNINTELLIGIBLE NOISES]

559
00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:17,122
[BELL RINGS]

560
00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:39,744
Right class, who can give
me the answer to the problem I

561
00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:40,645
said for homework?

562
00:34:44,816 --> 00:34:47,485
Come now, surely someone
must have worked it out.

563
00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:58,396
Ernest, all right,
what's your guess?

564
00:34:58,396 --> 00:35:01,833
(INTELLIGENTLY) The answer is
y to the fourth power plus 16y

565
00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:09,174
cubed plus 71y squared minus
4y minus 420 equals zero.

566
00:35:09,174 --> 00:35:10,108
That's right!

567
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:11,810
Well of course it's right.

568
00:35:11,810 --> 00:35:14,913
(CLASS MURMURING)

569
00:35:14,913 --> 00:35:18,283
Why don't you show
the rest of the class

570
00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,685
how you arrived at your answer?

571
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:21,586
Be glad to.

572
00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:29,027
The key thing to
remember here, class,

573
00:35:29,027 --> 00:35:31,062
is that by increasing
the true roots

574
00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:34,499
of an equation we therefore
decrease the false roots

575
00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:35,767
by an equal amount.

576
00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:38,970
And on the contrary, by
decreasing the false roots

577
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:42,107
we increase the true
roots by an equal amount.

578
00:35:42,107 --> 00:35:46,544
Am I going too fast for those
of you who are taking notes?

579
00:35:46,544 --> 00:35:47,645
Good.

580
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:50,415
So to continue.

581
00:35:50,415 --> 00:35:52,384
Increasing the true
root, five by three

582
00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:53,585
we diminish each
of the false roots

583
00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:56,154
so that the root previously four
is now only one and the root

584
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:58,356
previously three is zero
and the root previously two

585
00:35:58,356 --> 00:36:03,995
is the true root equal to
minus 4y minus 420 equals zero.

586
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,630
Now that we've
covered the basics,

587
00:36:05,630 --> 00:36:09,100
why don't we go on to something
a little more stimulating?

588
00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:12,437
(CHUCKLES)

589
00:36:27,285 --> 00:36:30,388
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

590
00:36:31,823 --> 00:36:33,258
So, how did it go?

591
00:36:33,258 --> 00:36:34,259
(NORMAL VOICE) Great!

592
00:36:34,259 --> 00:36:37,562
I never knew I was so smart.

593
00:36:37,562 --> 00:36:38,830
Come on, come on, let's go!

594
00:36:38,830 --> 00:36:40,031
I'm gonna be late.

595
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:42,100
Well, excuse me.

596
00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:48,907
[MACHINES BEEPING]

597
00:37:00,185 --> 00:37:02,787
Would everyone please
get out the Sousa book,

598
00:37:02,787 --> 00:37:05,323
Stars and Stripes Forever.

599
00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:07,459
And we'll see if we can't
discover what we were

600
00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:09,160
doing wrong the other day, hm?

601
00:37:21,206 --> 00:37:23,942
(INTELLIGENTLY)
Hello, my little friend.

602
00:37:23,942 --> 00:37:26,377
How come all the sudden you
show up late for everything?

603
00:37:26,377 --> 00:37:28,746
I'm bored by
the preliminaries.

604
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:30,949
They're so elementary,
don't you think?

605
00:37:30,949 --> 00:37:32,784
That's another thing, how
come all of a sudden you're

606
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:35,754
such an expert on everything?

607
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:39,090
Everyone has the potential
for brilliance, my boy.

608
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:42,093
I've just been fortunate enough
to find the key that unlocks

609
00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:45,029
the powers of the human mind.

610
00:37:45,029 --> 00:37:46,397
Right.

611
00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:47,799
From the top.

612
00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:50,268
Think pitch, trumpets.

613
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,203
One two, two two.

614
00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:54,239
[MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE
STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER"]

615
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:55,673
(BAND PLAYING OFF KEY)

616
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,486
All right people.

617
00:38:08,486 --> 00:38:10,255
People, please.

618
00:38:10,255 --> 00:38:12,257
May I make a suggestion?

619
00:38:12,257 --> 00:38:14,859
Well yes, Ernest.

620
00:38:14,859 --> 00:38:17,362
First of all you
must understand

621
00:38:17,362 --> 00:38:19,531
that this song, perhaps
more than any other,

622
00:38:19,531 --> 00:38:23,034
represents the fighting
spirit of the United States

623
00:38:23,034 --> 00:38:24,936
of America.

624
00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:27,472
So as you raise your
horn to your lips,

625
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:30,875
try to think of those courageous
young soldiers, the loved

626
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:35,079
ones they left behind,
Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas

627
00:38:35,079 --> 00:38:37,649
morning, the Easter Parade.

628
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:41,152
[TRUMPET PLAYS PERFECTLY]

629
00:38:56,801 --> 00:39:00,638
Your middle valve
needs a little oil.

630
00:39:00,638 --> 00:39:04,475
Woodwinds, woodwinds, woodwinds.

631
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:09,981
The color, the nuance of 50
distinct individual United

632
00:39:09,981 --> 00:39:12,584
States.
It's all up to you.

633
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:16,087
[CLARINET PLAYS PERFECTLY]

634
00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:27,031
Everybody now.

635
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:30,535
[BAND PLAYS ON KEY]

636
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:11,276
Class, I think we've
found our new drum major.

637
00:40:11,276 --> 00:40:13,244
What do you say, Ernest?

638
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,146
It'll take a lot of work.

639
00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:17,115
And I have my
reputation to think of.

640
00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:18,516
Oh, come on Ernest.

641
00:40:18,516 --> 00:40:19,417
Please, Ernest?

642
00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:25,089
Well, if you insist.

643
00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:40,505
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS YELLING]

644
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,845
As you are
probably aware, there

645
00:40:47,845 --> 00:40:51,349
are certain persons associated
with this football team

646
00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:53,484
that would rather we
didn't play halftime

647
00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:55,320
at the homecoming game.

648
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,690
They say, we're an
embarrassment to the school.

649
00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:02,160
They say, we defile the
name of the mighty Muskrats.

650
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,363
We'll I say, why are we
going to allow the football

651
00:41:05,363 --> 00:41:07,198
team to have all the glory?

652
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:11,002
Glory, which by all
rights, is ours!

653
00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:13,404
How do we do this, you ask?

654
00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:15,106
Who could we impress?

655
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:18,710
We're just a bunch
of no talent losers.

656
00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:22,146
Why we don't know an
eighth note from fly poop.

657
00:41:26,684 --> 00:41:29,454
Well, I beg to differ.

658
00:41:29,454 --> 00:41:32,623
A good leader could turn
this no account rabble

659
00:41:32,623 --> 00:41:36,661
into a drum pounding, horn
blowing, foot stomping,

660
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:39,163
precision marching unit.

661
00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:42,367
A good leader could
take you deadbeats

662
00:41:42,367 --> 00:41:44,469
and turn you into
a marching band

663
00:41:44,469 --> 00:41:47,538
better than any Chickasaw
Falls has ever seen.

664
00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:51,743
And honesty compels me to tell
you that I am that leader.

665
00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:55,046
[BAND MEMBERS AGREE]

666
00:41:58,983 --> 00:42:02,186
[STUDENTS GASP]

667
00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:07,392
Oh, Bradley,
did you lose this?

668
00:42:07,392 --> 00:42:10,128
[LAUGHTER]

669
00:42:11,496 --> 00:42:12,463
All right.

670
00:42:12,463 --> 00:42:15,933
In one two, one two three four.

671
00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:29,080
[MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE
WASHINGTON POST"]

672
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,248
Can you feel it, Harold?

673
00:42:30,248 --> 00:42:32,417
There's a new spirit in
here, and it's great.

674
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:35,386
You've got another full week
to enjoy before the ax falls.

675
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:37,321
Well, I'd hate to be
the one to close down

676
00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:38,890
a school with the
winning football team

677
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,792
and a rousing halftime show.

678
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:41,726
You don't have to.

679
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:44,695
That's my job.

680
00:42:44,695 --> 00:42:48,099
After school what say we drop
by the video arcade and you can

681
00:42:48,099 --> 00:42:51,269
watch whilst I dazzle one
and all with my uncanny

682
00:42:51,269 --> 00:42:53,504
hand-eye coordination.

683
00:42:53,504 --> 00:42:55,306
No, no, I don't
think so, Ernest.

684
00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:56,641
We could go by
the park and you

685
00:42:56,641 --> 00:42:58,209
could see how many
games of chess

686
00:42:58,209 --> 00:43:00,044
I could play simultaneously.

687
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:02,480
No, you don't need us
to do any of that stuff.

688
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,583
Besides, I have to study,
not like some people I know.

689
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,885
As I've told you before,
I've learned that secret

690
00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:10,188
to unlocking the
powers of the mind.

691
00:43:10,188 --> 00:43:12,790
Yeah, well, however it works
I don't know how to do it.

692
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:14,425
So--

693
00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:17,862
My good man, would you
happen to have any sauce venais

694
00:43:17,862 --> 00:43:20,164
for this meatloaf ordinaire?

695
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:25,336
Fresh cilantro?
Picante salsa?

696
00:43:28,406 --> 00:43:29,907
We got ketchup.

697
00:43:29,907 --> 00:43:33,010
That's what I like
to eat it with.

698
00:43:33,010 --> 00:43:35,146
Yes, I bet you do.

699
00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:42,220
You know Ernest, you've
turned into a real jerk.

700
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:43,955
I liked you a lot better
when you weren't so smart.

701
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:50,228
GERTA: Yeah, that
should do it, Bobby.

702
00:43:50,228 --> 00:43:52,096
Now the machine's perfect.

703
00:43:52,096 --> 00:43:56,000
Oh, I cannot wait to try
this on a real human brain!

704
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,036
But, until then,
Ernest will have to do.

705
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:00,471
Wakey, wakey, fellas.

706
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:02,273
I'm running late this
morning and I've got

707
00:44:02,273 --> 00:44:04,208
lots of important things to do.

708
00:44:04,208 --> 00:44:06,944
Yes, good morning
to you, too, Ernest.

709
00:44:06,944 --> 00:44:08,212
We have made some
slight modifications

710
00:44:08,212 --> 00:44:11,015
that I think is going to make
this baby work even better.

711
00:44:11,015 --> 00:44:14,619
Gerta, I'm sure that's all
very fascinating to someone

712
00:44:14,619 --> 00:44:16,487
who really cares.

713
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:18,623
But could we please
dispense with the small talk

714
00:44:18,623 --> 00:44:20,858
and get on with this?

715
00:44:20,858 --> 00:44:22,260
Come, Bobby.

716
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:24,662
We've got a very
important person here.

717
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:28,299
Wouldn't want to waste
any of his valuable time.

718
00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:30,034
Thank you.

719
00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:32,770
[MACHINES WHIRRING]

720
00:44:50,588 --> 00:44:54,392
There, that's more like it.

721
00:44:54,392 --> 00:44:55,860
And the next time,
would you both

722
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:57,929
try to be ready when I get here?

723
00:44:57,929 --> 00:45:00,798
I'm on a very tight schedule
and having to wait on you

724
00:45:00,798 --> 00:45:03,401
two doesn't make
things any easier.

725
00:45:03,401 --> 00:45:06,337
Good day.

726
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:09,373
Being smart hasn't done a
lot for Ernest's personality.

727
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:14,445
Got a pretty high opinion
of himself, for a lab rat.

728
00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:16,480
Bobby, what is this?

729
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,549
You've held the
power back on him?

730
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:21,319
Ernest will only be smart
for another 38 minutes!

731
00:45:21,319 --> 00:45:22,920
Why, Bobby?

732
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,357
Why, Bobby, you devil.

733
00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:30,227
[BELL RINGS]

734
00:45:30,227 --> 00:45:32,363
FEMALE TEACHER: All right,
now class, settle down.

735
00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:34,999
Settle down now please.

736
00:45:34,999 --> 00:45:35,900
Settle.

737
00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:44,609
Today we'll be continuing our
study of America in the 1800's.

738
00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:48,212
This was truly a
century of great unrest,

739
00:45:48,212 --> 00:45:51,315
mixed with major strides
forward as the United

740
00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:54,685
States began to take its
place on the world stage.

741
00:45:54,685 --> 00:45:56,654
Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

742
00:45:56,654 --> 00:45:58,155
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

743
00:45:58,155 --> 00:46:01,125
Ah blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah blah.

744
00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,594
Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

745
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,063
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

746
00:46:06,063 --> 00:46:07,031
Blah, blah, blah.

747
00:46:07,031 --> 00:46:08,532
Blah, blah, blah.

748
00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:10,001
Blah, blah blah.

749
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:11,469
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

750
00:46:11,469 --> 00:46:13,004
Uh blah, blah, blah, blah.

751
00:46:13,004 --> 00:46:14,672
Blah, blah.

752
00:46:14,672 --> 00:46:19,110
And so, I hope you all can
see what an exciting period

753
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:21,078
of history this was.

754
00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:23,981
Now we only have time
for one report today.

755
00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:26,951
Who'd like to give theirs?

756
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:27,852
Ernest?

757
00:46:32,757 --> 00:46:34,358
Well it's about time.

758
00:46:38,229 --> 00:46:40,831
Thank you.

759
00:46:40,831 --> 00:46:44,602
While I'm sure most of you
have heard of Seward's Folly,

760
00:46:44,602 --> 00:46:47,104
I am equally sure
that none of you

761
00:46:47,104 --> 00:46:49,907
understand the important
historical significance

762
00:46:49,907 --> 00:46:51,942
of this momentous event.

763
00:46:51,942 --> 00:46:55,079
I refer to, of course,
the Alas-- haha,

764
00:46:55,079 --> 00:46:57,915
the Alaska purchase.

765
00:46:57,915 --> 00:47:04,088
(NORMAL VOICE RETURNING)
The year, um, 1867.

766
00:47:04,088 --> 00:47:08,459
The man William
He-He-He Henry Seward.

767
00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:12,063
He was a prom-a-ha-na
hey-nada ha-nada

768
00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:15,132
the United States senator.

769
00:47:15,132 --> 00:47:22,273
Who can be-he ca-ha me-he
uh-coh hon-uh --gressman.

770
00:47:22,273 --> 00:47:23,574
That he be-he na-had

771
00:47:23,574 --> 00:47:27,044
[STUMBLES OVER WORDS]

772
00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:31,816
Thank you.

773
00:47:31,816 --> 00:47:34,618
[ERNEST MAKES UNINTELLIGIBLE
SOUNDS]

774
00:47:50,334 --> 00:47:51,335
Wacka.

775
00:47:51,335 --> 00:47:52,370
Wacka, wacka, wacka.

776
00:47:58,309 --> 00:48:00,277
Come, Ernest, come.

777
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:06,016
Bobby just speculated
a little lesson.

778
00:48:06,016 --> 00:48:08,586
He didn't mean anything by it.

779
00:48:08,586 --> 00:48:11,255
Wacka, wacka,
wacka, wacka, wacka.

780
00:48:11,255 --> 00:48:13,557
What's that, Lassie?

781
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:14,625
Timmy's in trouble?

782
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:18,596
Did you get it?

783
00:48:25,102 --> 00:48:29,073
(INTELLIGENTLY) Show
business is my life, people.

784
00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:30,841
And if there's one
thing I've learned

785
00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:34,211
in this crazy, mixed
up biz, is you've got

786
00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,514
to give them what they want.

787
00:48:36,514 --> 00:48:39,316
You've got to razzle
them and dazzle them.

788
00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:43,954
Astound them and amaze them and
leave them begging for more.

789
00:48:43,954 --> 00:48:48,793
Now, listen up because I'm
only going to say this once.

790
00:48:48,793 --> 00:48:54,431
If you lose your place and
don't know what to do watch me.

791
00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:57,168
If the crowd makes you nervous--

792
00:48:57,168 --> 00:48:59,603
ALL: Watch me.

793
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:03,007
Tubas, if we get fatigued
on that last credenza

794
00:49:03,007 --> 00:49:05,209
what are we going to do?

795
00:49:05,209 --> 00:49:06,944
ALL: Watch me.

796
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,646
ERNEST: All right,
now from the top.

797
00:49:08,646 --> 00:49:12,216
And flag twirlers, I want
you to wave those flags

798
00:49:12,216 --> 00:49:13,751
like patriotic zealots.

799
00:49:13,751 --> 00:49:14,652
All right.

800
00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:18,856
A one a two, a one
two three four.

801
00:49:18,856 --> 00:49:22,059
[MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE
WASHINGTON POST"]

802
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:37,341
All right.

803
00:49:37,341 --> 00:49:40,511
Well Wanda hits the
gong as fireworks queue,

804
00:49:40,511 --> 00:49:41,812
I hit the kettle drum.

805
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,247
Rocket, rocket, rocket.

806
00:49:43,247 --> 00:49:44,949
I hit the xylophone.

807
00:49:44,949 --> 00:49:47,318
Rocket, rocket, rocket.

808
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:48,786
They've been working so hard.

809
00:49:48,786 --> 00:49:50,221
All they can think
about is the firework

810
00:49:50,221 --> 00:49:51,889
display at the homecoming.

811
00:49:51,889 --> 00:49:53,290
I'm sure they
will be just fine

812
00:49:53,290 --> 00:49:56,627
as long as they keep it short
and don't try to embarrass--

813
00:49:56,627 --> 00:49:57,895
what band is this?

814
00:49:57,895 --> 00:49:59,330
That's Earnest.

815
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:00,331
I mean that's us.

816
00:50:03,133 --> 00:50:05,336
Hold it, hold it, hold it.

817
00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:07,538
Wrong, all wrong.

818
00:50:07,538 --> 00:50:09,106
MISS FLUGAL: Ernest?

819
00:50:09,106 --> 00:50:11,609
Ernest, Mr. Procter would
like to have a word with you.

820
00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:16,680
Take five everyone.

821
00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:24,788
Miss Flugal tells me
you've completely turned

822
00:50:24,788 --> 00:50:26,123
around the program, Ernest!

823
00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:27,458
Congratulations son.

824
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:31,161
You have no idea what this
could mean for our school.

825
00:50:31,161 --> 00:50:32,196
Thank you, sir.

826
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:34,265
It's a shame our performance
will have to be interrupted

827
00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:38,202
by a mere football game.

828
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,703
Well, yes.

829
00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:43,474
Keep up the good work and
good luck tomorrow night.

830
00:50:43,474 --> 00:50:44,675
Thank you, sir.

831
00:50:44,675 --> 00:50:48,445
Oh, I'll be right with you.

832
00:50:48,445 --> 00:50:50,547
Ernest, I--

833
00:50:50,547 --> 00:50:52,549
Yes?

834
00:50:52,549 --> 00:50:55,319
There's a dance after
the game tomorrow night

835
00:50:55,319 --> 00:50:57,988
and I have to chaperone.

836
00:50:57,988 --> 00:51:00,824
So I was wondering if
you'd like to go with me?

837
00:51:00,824 --> 00:51:05,162
Well I, I haven't
checked my schedule but um,

838
00:51:05,162 --> 00:51:06,230
I think I'm free.

839
00:51:12,236 --> 00:51:14,138
People, people!

840
00:51:14,138 --> 00:51:15,639
Once more from the top.

841
00:51:15,639 --> 00:51:19,143
And this time with feeling!

842
00:51:19,143 --> 00:51:22,112
[STUDENTS CHATTING]

843
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:50,441
[CHEERING]

844
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:51,575
CHICK (OVER PA):
Chick Hansen here.

845
00:51:51,575 --> 00:51:53,844
Well, it's a gorgeous
fall evening.

846
00:51:53,844 --> 00:51:55,913
And it's been an all
Muskrat first half

847
00:51:55,913 --> 00:52:00,184
as we've managed to skunk
the Knights of Regal View.

848
00:52:00,184 --> 00:52:02,786
Star quarterback Brad Spinx
has never looked better

849
00:52:02,786 --> 00:52:05,456
at finding his receivers
as the Muskrats again drive

850
00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:09,026
deep into Knight territory.

851
00:52:09,026 --> 00:52:12,496
[CHEERING]

852
00:52:18,435 --> 00:52:20,904
That's another six
for the Muskrats.

853
00:52:20,904 --> 00:52:24,375
This homecoming crowd has
really got our boys fired up.

854
00:52:29,346 --> 00:52:31,915
Way to go, girls.

855
00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:32,816
Bravo.

856
00:52:43,761 --> 00:52:45,596
I am so excited.

857
00:52:45,596 --> 00:52:49,199
Look at this crowd, I've
never seen so many people.

858
00:52:49,199 --> 00:52:51,502
A fitting audience
for my crowning triumph

859
00:52:51,502 --> 00:52:54,738
as drum major to the
stars, don't you think?

860
00:52:54,738 --> 00:52:57,041
I just hope everything
goes all right.

861
00:52:57,041 --> 00:52:59,743
Don't you worry your pretty
little head about that.

862
00:52:59,743 --> 00:53:02,980
As long as my youngsters
remember the number one rule,

863
00:53:02,980 --> 00:53:05,015
everything will be just fine.

864
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,450
And what's that rule?

865
00:53:06,450 --> 00:53:08,519
ALL: Watch me.

866
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:09,420
You see?

867
00:53:09,420 --> 00:53:10,487
What could go wrong?

868
00:53:13,624 --> 00:53:14,625
Ernest, where are you going?

869
00:53:14,625 --> 00:53:16,860
Oh, I just
remembered I, I left

870
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:17,895
something in the band room.

871
00:53:17,895 --> 00:53:18,862
I'll be right back.

872
00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:21,498
Well you better be, Ernest,
everybody is counting on you.

873
00:53:21,498 --> 00:53:23,634
Would a King miss
his own coronation?

874
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:24,535
I think not.

875
00:53:28,172 --> 00:53:31,608
[CRYING]

876
00:53:36,447 --> 00:53:37,648
(NORMAL VOICE)
What happened here?

877
00:53:41,418 --> 00:53:43,687
The came like
thieves in the night

878
00:53:43,687 --> 00:53:48,659
and attacked cruelly
and without provocation.

879
00:53:48,659 --> 00:53:51,195
Who would do such a thing?

880
00:53:51,195 --> 00:53:53,263
People chose with small minds.

881
00:53:53,263 --> 00:53:57,434
Defenders of the status quo,
afraid of a brave new world.

882
00:53:57,434 --> 00:53:59,770
Philistines, barbarians.

883
00:53:59,770 --> 00:54:01,772
Republicans, who knows?

884
00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:06,944
Well, can you fix it?

885
00:54:06,944 --> 00:54:09,446
Oh sure, Ernest, let me
just get this knot out.

886
00:54:13,150 --> 00:54:15,719
What am I gonna do?

887
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:18,422
I can't go out there like this.

888
00:54:18,422 --> 00:54:20,257
I'm just me.

889
00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:23,627
(GULPS) Oh.

890
00:54:23,627 --> 00:54:26,997
[DRUMLINE PLAYING]

891
00:54:30,334 --> 00:54:32,402
CHICK (ON PA): And
now, the marching

892
00:54:32,402 --> 00:54:36,373
Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls.

893
00:54:36,373 --> 00:54:37,341
Where's Ernest?

894
00:54:37,341 --> 00:54:38,342
I don't know.

895
00:54:38,342 --> 00:54:40,010
But we've got to go on now.

896
00:54:46,416 --> 00:54:48,018
I've seen these
kids rehearsing.

897
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:49,386
It was quite impressive.

898
00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:50,888
(SARCASTICALLY) I'm
on the edge of my seat.

899
00:54:57,761 --> 00:54:59,296
Well, it's about time.

900
00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:00,998
We've got to go back.
We can't go on.

901
00:55:00,998 --> 00:55:01,999
This will never work.

902
00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:04,401
It's too late for that,
the show's already started.

903
00:55:04,401 --> 00:55:06,170
I've got to tell
you something,

904
00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:08,005
it's not what you think.

905
00:55:08,005 --> 00:55:09,940
I'm not really smart.

906
00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:12,409
You get up there.

907
00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:14,578
Remember what you told me?

908
00:55:14,578 --> 00:55:17,147
Watch me.

909
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:18,048
Go.

910
00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:33,964
[DAUNTING MUSIC]

911
00:55:44,374 --> 00:55:54,785
[WIND BLOWING]

912
00:55:54,785 --> 00:55:56,853
Oh.

913
00:55:56,853 --> 00:55:57,754
Uh.

914
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:15,105
[BATON TAPPING] One
two, one two three four.

915
00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:18,342
[MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE
WASHINGTON POST"]

916
00:56:35,826 --> 00:56:38,829
CHICK (ON PA): How about
those marching Muskrats!

917
00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:42,299
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]

918
00:56:50,274 --> 00:56:51,275
ERNEST: Yelp.

919
00:56:51,275 --> 00:56:53,277
Help.

920
00:56:53,277 --> 00:56:56,280
Ah.

921
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:59,783
Ah, ah.

922
00:56:59,783 --> 00:57:03,253
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

923
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:10,761
Yeow.

924
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:12,262
Whoah.

925
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:15,232
Whoah.

926
00:57:15,232 --> 00:57:21,238
Whoa, wah ho.

927
00:57:21,238 --> 00:57:24,708
[BAND PLAYS OFF KEY]

928
00:57:36,687 --> 00:57:40,190
[ERNEST YELLS]

929
00:57:44,695 --> 00:57:49,166
ERNEST (MUFFLED IN
TUBA): Oh, oh, uh, oh.

930
00:57:49,166 --> 00:57:50,667
Get me outta here.

931
00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:00,143
Help me get outta here.

932
00:58:00,143 --> 00:58:02,145
Help me get outta here.

933
00:58:20,097 --> 00:58:22,599
Help me, help,
get me outta here.

934
00:58:26,603 --> 00:58:28,605
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING]

935
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:30,574
Run, run!

936
00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:33,577
[SCREAMING]

937
00:58:56,032 --> 00:58:59,035
[ERNEST SCREAMS FOR HELP]

938
00:58:59,035 --> 00:59:01,037
FIREFIGHTER: Come on, come on.

939
00:59:01,037 --> 00:59:03,039
Get the hose on, lets go, huh!

940
00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:22,993
It's your fault!

941
00:59:22,993 --> 00:59:23,994
I hold you responsible.

942
00:59:23,994 --> 00:59:25,729
I never should have
allowed you to let

943
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:26,963
Ernest take over this program!

944
00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:38,442
[ERNEST MOANING]

945
01:00:04,901 --> 01:00:07,637
I know I let everybody down.

946
01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:12,976
I had my chance and I blew it.

947
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:21,485
I'm sorry about everything
I'm sorry I'm me.

948
01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:49,679
Good-bye my faithful locker.

949
01:00:52,582 --> 01:00:54,584
Good-bye my little
monkey wrench.

950
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:01,224
You coping saws seem to
be taking this very well.

951
01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:09,366
I really blew it this time,
didn't I, Mister Needle-nose?

952
01:01:09,366 --> 01:01:10,834
(AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS)
You sure did, Ernest.

953
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:12,936
You let the whole school down.

954
01:01:12,936 --> 01:01:15,038
(NORMAL VOICE) I let
the whole school down.

955
01:01:15,038 --> 01:01:17,741
(AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS)
You let Miss Flugal down.

956
01:01:17,741 --> 01:01:19,676
(NORMAL VOICE) I let
Miss Flugal down.

957
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:21,711
DONALD: You treated
Donald like scum.

958
01:01:21,711 --> 01:01:24,214
I treated Donald like scum.

959
01:01:24,214 --> 01:01:26,182
RODNEY: And you acted like
a real jerk to everybody.

960
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:28,451
I acted like a real
jerk to everybody.

961
01:01:28,451 --> 01:01:31,555
And now I got to study
just like everybody else.

962
01:01:31,555 --> 01:01:34,357
And now I have
to study like e--

963
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,359
wait a minute!

964
01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:38,128
That's not your voice!

965
01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:40,196
Didn't think you'd get out of
that easily, did you, Ernest?

966
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:42,399
You have to take a test
like the rest of us.

967
01:01:42,399 --> 01:01:47,203
Yeah, we're gonna tutor
you til you scream for mercy.

968
01:01:47,203 --> 01:01:49,439
Are you sure there's
not another way?

969
01:01:49,439 --> 01:01:53,043
No, you're just
going to have to study.

970
01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:55,111
Gosh!

971
01:01:55,111 --> 01:01:57,047
What's the predominant
element in bones?

972
01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:58,048
Who shot Abraham Lincoln?

973
01:01:58,048 --> 01:01:59,382
What's the fifth
most common element?

974
01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:00,283
Yogurt.

975
01:02:00,283 --> 01:02:01,618
Cheese.

976
01:02:01,618 --> 01:02:02,852
Some guy with a gun.

977
01:02:02,852 --> 01:02:04,154
Not dairy products, Ernest.

978
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:05,055
What guy?

979
01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:07,023
Great potato
famine of mid 1800's.

980
01:02:07,023 --> 01:02:08,091
Chalk.

981
01:02:08,091 --> 01:02:09,659
Um, the Klingons!

982
01:02:09,659 --> 01:02:10,694
No!

983
01:02:10,694 --> 01:02:12,028
- Colonel Sanders.
- No.

984
01:02:12,028 --> 01:02:13,063
Abraham Lincoln.

985
01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:13,930
The Penguin!

986
01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:15,966
This is hopeless!

987
01:02:15,966 --> 01:02:17,000
Elements.

988
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:18,034
Wyatt Earp.

989
01:02:18,034 --> 01:02:19,869
Elephants.
- What country?

990
01:02:19,869 --> 01:02:21,071
Are you sure it's
not the penguin?

991
01:02:21,071 --> 01:02:22,906
Idaho.
ALL: We're sure!

992
01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:24,507
- Country.
- Ivory.

993
01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:25,542
Garth Brooks.

994
01:02:25,542 --> 01:02:28,845
[RODNEY GROANS]

995
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,882
Helium.

996
01:02:32,882 --> 01:02:35,852
Nine to the fifth power.

997
01:02:35,852 --> 01:02:38,321
Seward's Folly.

998
01:02:38,321 --> 01:02:41,858
54 40 or fight.

999
01:02:41,858 --> 01:02:44,327
Agriculture.

1000
01:02:44,327 --> 01:02:47,697
[SNORING]

1001
01:02:52,736 --> 01:02:54,704
RODNEY (ON PA):
Rockin' Rodney, here.

1002
01:02:54,704 --> 01:02:57,974
Today's question is who set
fire to the Ironman float

1003
01:02:57,974 --> 01:03:00,276
last night after the pep rally?

1004
01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:03,513
And quite frankly, how
do we thank these people?

1005
01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:05,482
Got the big one this weekend.

1006
01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:07,684
Got the district
finals, got a chance

1007
01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:10,420
to win the whole enchilada.

1008
01:03:10,420 --> 01:03:12,922
Hey, were going to
be football heroes!

1009
01:03:12,922 --> 01:03:16,693
Yeah, fighting Muskrats
taking their place in history.

1010
01:03:16,693 --> 01:03:19,629
Oh yeah.

1011
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:20,630
Ernest!

1012
01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:21,531
OK.

1013
01:03:21,531 --> 01:03:22,432
Here we go.

1014
01:03:22,432 --> 01:03:23,600
The big test.

1015
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:27,404
Now all you have to do
is relax and concentrate.

1016
01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:28,872
My brain hurts.

1017
01:03:28,872 --> 01:03:30,473
I think it's broke.

1018
01:03:30,473 --> 01:03:32,742
I don't think man was supposed
to have this much knowledge,

1019
01:03:32,742 --> 01:03:34,110
know what I mean?
[BANGING FROM LOCKER]

1020
01:03:34,110 --> 01:03:35,645
GERTA: Ernest, open up!

1021
01:03:38,448 --> 01:03:40,183
We fixed it!

1022
01:03:40,183 --> 01:03:41,451
I never thought we
could do it so fast

1023
01:03:41,451 --> 01:03:43,820
but when Bobby sets his mind
to something, let me tell you,

1024
01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:45,655
there is just no stopping him.

1025
01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:46,756
That's great!

1026
01:03:46,756 --> 01:03:48,158
That means now I
can pass for sure.

1027
01:03:48,158 --> 01:03:49,059
GERTA: Yes siree!

1028
01:03:49,059 --> 01:03:49,959
Ya vol!

1029
01:03:49,959 --> 01:03:52,195
We got a new and improved
brain accelerator that is just

1030
01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:53,596
waiting for you to plug into.

1031
01:03:53,596 --> 01:03:55,932
OK?

1032
01:03:55,932 --> 01:03:57,934
Thanks anyway,
Gerta, but I think

1033
01:03:57,934 --> 01:04:00,303
I better do this one on my own.

1034
01:04:00,303 --> 01:04:03,506
You're joking!

1035
01:04:03,506 --> 01:04:05,975
GERTA: Ernest,
what about science?

1036
01:04:05,975 --> 01:04:07,911
What about the Nobel Prize?

1037
01:04:07,911 --> 01:04:09,813
What about giving us
a break, we need you!

1038
01:04:09,813 --> 01:04:11,748
We can't afford a chimp!

1039
01:04:11,748 --> 01:04:15,151
[STUDENTS CHATTING]

1040
01:04:15,151 --> 01:04:18,621
[HITTING DESK]

1041
01:04:19,622 --> 01:04:22,292
All right, students.

1042
01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:23,493
No talking.

1043
01:04:23,493 --> 01:04:27,063
No wandering eyes.

1044
01:04:27,063 --> 01:04:30,033
Ready, begin!

1045
01:04:30,033 --> 01:04:33,536
[OMINOUS MUSIC]

1046
01:05:20,950 --> 01:05:24,454
[METAL CLINKING]

1047
01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:33,930
[CLOCK TICKING]

1048
01:05:35,431 --> 01:05:38,902
[FLY BUZZING]

1049
01:06:01,858 --> 01:06:03,359
[FLY BUZZES QUIETLY]

1050
01:06:03,359 --> 01:06:06,963
[FOOTSTEPS]

1051
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:11,134
Is there a
problem Mr. Worrell?

1052
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:12,135
No, ma'am.

1053
01:06:20,577 --> 01:06:24,047
[FLY BUZZING]

1054
01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:46,302
[TEACHER BURPS]

1055
01:06:46,302 --> 01:06:49,772
[CLOCK TICKING]

1056
01:06:53,243 --> 01:06:56,713
[GRUNTING]

1057
01:06:59,249 --> 01:07:00,917
How did it go, Ernest?

1058
01:07:00,917 --> 01:07:03,920
I don't know, it's it's
all just kind of a blur.

1059
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:05,455
Know what I mean?

1060
01:07:05,455 --> 01:07:09,559
Well whatever happens,
I'm proud of you.

1061
01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:10,827
Come on.

1062
01:07:10,827 --> 01:07:11,794
Come on.

1063
01:07:19,435 --> 01:07:20,703
Chick Hansen here.

1064
01:07:20,703 --> 01:07:23,273
Well it's a perfect crisp
afternoon for a game.

1065
01:07:23,273 --> 01:07:25,041
And what a game we've got!

1066
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:27,744
It's a once in a lifetime
David and Goliath match up

1067
01:07:27,744 --> 01:07:29,279
between our own
fighting Muskrats

1068
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,915
of Chickasaw Falls and
the undefeated Ironman

1069
01:07:31,915 --> 01:07:33,783
of Central High.

1070
01:07:33,783 --> 01:07:35,585
A school that produces
championship teams

1071
01:07:35,585 --> 01:07:37,353
is not the kind of school
that should be closed.

1072
01:07:37,353 --> 01:07:38,454
Wouldn't you agree,
Miss Nichols.

1073
01:07:38,454 --> 01:07:40,523
Oh, well, as a private
individual I do agree with you.

1074
01:07:40,523 --> 01:07:42,825
But as chairperson of the
school board, of course

1075
01:07:42,825 --> 01:07:44,460
I'm trying to keep an open mind.

1076
01:07:44,460 --> 01:07:46,896
Anyway the question is moot
because Central is going to win

1077
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:48,531
today and they'll be champion.

1078
01:07:48,531 --> 01:07:49,832
Oh yeah, is that right?

1079
01:07:49,832 --> 01:07:51,034
MALE STUDENT: Hey
Principal Procter,

1080
01:07:51,034 --> 01:07:51,935
can I see you a second?

1081
01:07:51,935 --> 01:07:52,902
Excuse me.

1082
01:07:52,902 --> 01:08:01,544
[DRUMLINE PLAYING]

1083
01:08:01,544 --> 01:08:02,745
Knock 'em dead, Ernest.

1084
01:08:06,582 --> 01:08:10,053
[GROANS]

1085
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:15,491
CHICK (OK PA): Ladies
and gentlemen, the lady

1086
01:08:15,491 --> 01:08:17,460
Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls!

1087
01:08:22,565 --> 01:08:24,801
AXWELL: Slow down a minute,
Coach, we need to talk.

1088
01:08:24,801 --> 01:08:26,502
Nah, this is not
a good time for me.

1089
01:08:26,502 --> 01:08:28,371
You've heard about my plans
to close your high school.

1090
01:08:28,371 --> 01:08:29,405
Yeah, yeah, I've heard.

1091
01:08:29,405 --> 01:08:31,107
Well, I've got a
little problem that I

1092
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:32,575
think you can help me with.

1093
01:08:32,575 --> 01:08:33,910
COACH: What?

1094
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:36,145
If you win today,
you'll be district

1095
01:08:36,145 --> 01:08:39,015
champs and that'll make
things a lot harder for me.

1096
01:08:39,015 --> 01:08:39,916
Well we're gonna win!

1097
01:08:39,916 --> 01:08:41,584
We're gonna whoop 'em!

1098
01:08:41,584 --> 01:08:43,186
I don't see how I can help ya.

1099
01:08:43,186 --> 01:08:46,723
You can make sure
your team loses.

1100
01:08:46,723 --> 01:08:49,459
Why would I want to do that?

1101
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:52,695
If you lose,
I'll guarantee you

1102
01:08:52,695 --> 01:08:56,799
the job of head coach of Central
High when we merge the schools.

1103
01:09:03,539 --> 01:09:04,774
I don't know.

1104
01:09:04,774 --> 01:09:06,676
Chickasaw Falls will
close anyway, you might as

1105
01:09:06,676 --> 01:09:07,877
well get something out of it.

1106
01:09:18,221 --> 01:09:19,555
We could've beat those guys.

1107
01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:20,690
So what?

1108
01:09:20,690 --> 01:09:23,426
A week from now nobody'll
remember who won what.

1109
01:09:27,430 --> 01:09:29,932
We could beat those guys.

1110
01:09:29,932 --> 01:09:31,000
Could've beat them!
[KNOCKING]

1111
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:31,901
RODNEY: Hey!

1112
01:09:31,901 --> 01:09:33,903
Somebody get me outta here!

1113
01:09:33,903 --> 01:09:35,371
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

1114
01:09:35,371 --> 01:09:37,373
All right, boys,
bring it on in here.

1115
01:09:37,373 --> 01:09:38,341
Lets go!

1116
01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:41,811
[TEAM CHEERING]

1117
01:09:50,253 --> 01:09:52,155
All right, listen up fellas.

1118
01:09:52,155 --> 01:09:53,689
I got a new game plan.

1119
01:09:56,659 --> 01:10:00,129
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

1120
01:10:03,099 --> 01:10:05,568
CHICK (ON PA): This is certainly
not the caliber of football

1121
01:10:05,568 --> 01:10:08,071
we've come to expect
from Coach Decker

1122
01:10:08,071 --> 01:10:09,539
and his fighting Muskrats.

1123
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:12,041
The Ironmen seem to
have our Muskrats

1124
01:10:12,041 --> 01:10:14,010
completely fooled out there.

1125
01:10:19,482 --> 01:10:24,454
And that's another six, now
seven points for the Ironmen,

1126
01:10:24,454 --> 01:10:29,525
which puts our Muskrats
at a pathetic 18 to zip.

1127
01:10:29,525 --> 01:10:32,795
Well the good news is the
first half is almost over.

1128
01:10:32,795 --> 01:10:34,864
The bad news is there's
still another 30

1129
01:10:34,864 --> 01:10:36,966
minutes of this massacre to go.

1130
01:10:36,966 --> 01:10:38,434
[BANGING]

1131
01:10:38,434 --> 01:10:39,435
RODNEY: I'm in here.

1132
01:10:39,435 --> 01:10:40,436
Could you let me out?

1133
01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:41,404
Hey!

1134
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:43,406
Hey, if anyone's out
there, I'm in here.

1135
01:10:43,406 --> 01:10:44,407
Could you let me out?

1136
01:10:44,407 --> 01:10:46,876
You gotta let me outta here.

1137
01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:47,877
Well, hey!

1138
01:10:51,114 --> 01:10:53,750
Ah, I owe ya one, pal.

1139
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:57,186
I love this guy!

1140
01:10:57,186 --> 01:10:59,589
[CROWD BOOS]

1141
01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:01,290
Look out.
Comin' through.

1142
01:11:01,290 --> 01:11:02,191
Look out, squirt.

1143
01:11:04,961 --> 01:11:06,529
Rodney, where have you been?

1144
01:11:06,529 --> 01:11:08,131
Oh, man, it's a long story.

1145
01:11:08,131 --> 01:11:09,031
But here it goes.

1146
01:11:09,031 --> 01:11:11,567
That Axwell guy, he talked Coach
Decker into throwing the game.

1147
01:11:11,567 --> 01:11:12,468
What?

1148
01:11:12,468 --> 01:11:13,736
They can't do that!

1149
01:11:13,736 --> 01:11:15,571
Well, who's
going to stop them?

1150
01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:16,472
We are!

1151
01:11:16,472 --> 01:11:17,940
Yeah, right.

1152
01:11:17,940 --> 01:11:19,275
With what?

1153
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,176
Don't you see?

1154
01:11:20,176 --> 01:11:22,612
We're the last line of defense.

1155
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:25,047
It's the Battle of the
Bulge and it's up to us

1156
01:11:25,047 --> 01:11:28,317
to hold the Greek hoards
off the Pacific fleet.

1157
01:11:28,317 --> 01:11:29,452
So what do we do, Ernest?

1158
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:35,324
Luckily, I've got an
idea I've been saving

1159
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:37,660
for just such an occasion.

1160
01:11:37,660 --> 01:11:39,095
Does this make water?
Does it?

1161
01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:39,996
We need your help!

1162
01:11:39,996 --> 01:11:42,064
The fate of our
school depends on us.

1163
01:11:42,064 --> 01:11:45,601
Bobby, for Chickasaw Falls.

1164
01:11:45,601 --> 01:11:48,838
For truth, justice, and
the Germanic American way.

1165
01:11:48,838 --> 01:11:50,406
[SPEAKING GERMAN] Um.

1166
01:11:50,406 --> 01:11:51,974
- Maisy.
- Maisy.

1167
01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,042
Great, OK.

1168
01:11:53,042 --> 01:11:54,477
Ernest is going to
stall as long as he can.

1169
01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:55,311
Here's what we need.
- OK.

1170
01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:57,313
OK, we're going to need some
sleeping gas with gas masks--

1171
01:11:57,313 --> 01:11:58,714
CHICK (ON PA): And
now, the marching

1172
01:11:58,714 --> 01:12:01,184
Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls.

1173
01:12:01,184 --> 01:12:02,652
[CROWD BOOS]

1174
01:12:02,652 --> 01:12:05,988
No, not your marching band.

1175
01:12:05,988 --> 01:12:07,823
They do try very hard.

1176
01:12:07,823 --> 01:12:09,258
There won't be this
kind of embarrassment

1177
01:12:09,258 --> 01:12:10,526
at the new school.

1178
01:12:10,526 --> 01:12:11,694
CHICK (ON PA): Now
it's time to get

1179
01:12:11,694 --> 01:12:13,629
down and do the funky Muskrat!

1180
01:12:18,868 --> 01:12:21,871
(SINGING) Get your soul food
a la king, Muskrats marching

1181
01:12:21,871 --> 01:12:24,674
to a James Brown thing.

1182
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:26,776
Homeboy's grooving
down the street,

1183
01:12:26,776 --> 01:12:29,178
got his mojo working
on a Muskrat beat.

1184
01:12:37,653 --> 01:12:41,157
[PLAYERS YELLING]

1185
01:12:44,627 --> 01:12:48,130
[GAS HISSING]

1186
01:12:55,104 --> 01:12:57,573
Good, boys, the towels.

1187
01:12:57,573 --> 01:13:00,776
Right now, their vision
is getting very blurry.

1188
01:13:00,776 --> 01:13:03,045
A sense of well-being
is creeping over them.

1189
01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:07,883
They're experiencing vertigo
and a strong desire to lie down.

1190
01:13:07,883 --> 01:13:09,685
OK, turn it off, Bobby.

1191
01:13:09,685 --> 01:13:10,720
Let's go.

1192
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,256
Remember guys, this is
very powerful sleeping gas.

1193
01:13:13,256 --> 01:13:15,057
So keep those masks on tight.

1194
01:13:15,057 --> 01:13:16,492
Go on, go on!

1195
01:13:16,492 --> 01:13:18,894
[PLAYERS SNORING]

1196
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:21,764
[LULLABY PLAYING]

1197
01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:24,901
RODNEY: Maisy, this
isn't going to work.

1198
01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:25,901
We can't play football.

1199
01:13:25,901 --> 01:13:28,604
MAISY: We can play better
than these guys are playing.

1200
01:13:28,604 --> 01:13:29,505
Come on, you guys.

1201
01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:31,474
Lets get these
uniforms off them.

1202
01:13:31,474 --> 01:13:33,609
Someone's gotta try
and win this game.

1203
01:13:33,609 --> 01:13:36,545
[CROWD CHEERING]

1204
01:13:36,545 --> 01:13:39,015
CHICK (ON PA): Would you
please put your hands together

1205
01:13:39,015 --> 01:13:42,151
for the amazing horns in space!

1206
01:13:42,151 --> 01:13:45,621
[FAST PACED HORNS PLAYING]

1207
01:13:57,066 --> 01:14:00,569
Symmetry and artistry
join hands with Ed's TV

1208
01:14:00,569 --> 01:14:04,540
and Appliance to bring you
the graceful spiral of life.

1209
01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:24,460
[CROWD CHEERS]

1210
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,330
The Sabre Dance.

1211
01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:30,566
[MUSIC - ARAM KHACHATURIAN, "THE
SABRE DANCE"]

1212
01:14:41,143 --> 01:14:43,579
GERTA: OK, kids, look, this is--

1213
01:14:43,579 --> 01:14:46,215
All right, good work,
get out there man.

1214
01:14:46,215 --> 01:14:47,149
So far, so good.

1215
01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:48,384
That was the easy part.

1216
01:14:48,384 --> 01:14:49,618
We better go see
how Ernest is doing.

1217
01:14:49,618 --> 01:14:50,519
OK.

1218
01:14:50,519 --> 01:14:51,921
Come on 'Rats band,
let's go get 'em!

1219
01:14:51,921 --> 01:14:54,490
All right guys, lets do it!

1220
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:56,492
GERTA: I hope being quarterback
doesn't go to Ernest's head!

1221
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:04,233
The most important thing
is that a team have a leader.

1222
01:15:04,233 --> 01:15:05,501
A star.

1223
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:08,504
A bright light that shines
through the darkness

1224
01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:10,740
so that others may follow.

1225
01:15:10,740 --> 01:15:13,542
And I am that man.

1226
01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:15,010
DONALD: That sounds familiar.

1227
01:15:15,010 --> 01:15:19,115
In my prime, I was known
as Crazy Legs Worrell.

1228
01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:22,318
So just give me the
ball and watch the show,

1229
01:15:22,318 --> 01:15:23,919
know what I mean?

1230
01:15:23,919 --> 01:15:25,488
CHICK (ON PA): The Muskrats
look much the worse

1231
01:15:25,488 --> 01:15:28,324
for wear and no wonder
after the brutal beating

1232
01:15:28,324 --> 01:15:29,392
they've taken thus far.

1233
01:15:31,894 --> 01:15:32,795
Hut!

1234
01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:44,040
CHICK (ON PA):
These Muskrats are

1235
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:47,476
playing like they don't deserve
to be in championship game.

1236
01:15:47,476 --> 01:15:51,013
And, in this man's opinion, are
a disgrace to the proud colors

1237
01:15:51,013 --> 01:15:52,481
of Chickasaw Falls.

1238
01:16:01,857 --> 01:16:04,827
Ladies and gentlemen,
oh the humanity,

1239
01:16:04,827 --> 01:16:06,729
never can I recall
a more wretched

1240
01:16:06,729 --> 01:16:09,165
display of physical ineptitude.

1241
01:16:09,165 --> 01:16:13,102
And with the score standing
an embarrassing 39 to nothing

1242
01:16:13,102 --> 01:16:15,805
there is no joy in
Mundale tonight.

1243
01:16:15,805 --> 01:16:17,973
Ernest, come with me.

1244
01:16:17,973 --> 01:16:19,308
Come.

1245
01:16:19,308 --> 01:16:21,577
I know that philosophically
using this device

1246
01:16:21,577 --> 01:16:25,314
may be repugnant to your sense
of sportsmanship and fair play,

1247
01:16:25,314 --> 01:16:28,350
but quite frankly my friend
I think it is high time we

1248
01:16:28,350 --> 01:16:34,190
introduce the Ironmen
to the new and improved

1249
01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:37,159
subatomic brain accelerator.

1250
01:16:37,159 --> 01:16:38,594
Make me a master Muskrat.

1251
01:16:38,594 --> 01:16:39,495
Great!

1252
01:16:39,495 --> 01:16:40,396
Let's hurry!

1253
01:16:40,396 --> 01:16:43,966
Oh and Ernest, this time try
not to act like such a jerk, hm?

1254
01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,802
[MACHINE WHIRRING]

1255
01:16:54,276 --> 01:16:55,177
(DEEP VOICE) All right.

1256
01:16:59,515 --> 01:17:03,452
Now the gloves come off.

1257
01:17:03,452 --> 01:17:04,820
CHICK (ON PA): It
looks like the Muskrats

1258
01:17:04,820 --> 01:17:09,959
are going with a new quarterback
and it's Ernest P. Worrell?

1259
01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:11,594
The Muskrats have the
ball fourth and 27

1260
01:17:11,594 --> 01:17:14,730
at their own 49 yard
line and it looks

1261
01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:15,965
like they're going for it.

1262
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:19,435
I guess they figured
they've got nothing to lose.

1263
01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:22,404
ERNEST: 39 hut, hut, hut.

1264
01:17:22,404 --> 01:17:25,875
[THEME SONG]

1265
01:17:30,813 --> 01:17:32,314
Go, Ernest, go!

1266
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:33,315
Bring home the bacon!

1267
01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:34,216
[PIG SQUEALS]

1268
01:17:34,216 --> 01:17:35,784
Oh, sorry, Mogley.

1269
01:17:35,784 --> 01:17:36,752
Beep, beep, beep.

1270
01:17:51,133 --> 01:17:54,303
The Muskrats have the ball
and they're finally on the move.

1271
01:17:54,303 --> 01:17:58,941
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS CLAP AND
BREAK]

1272
01:17:58,941 --> 01:18:03,879
37, 25, a one two,
a one two three hut.

1273
01:18:03,879 --> 01:18:06,515
[BALLET MUSIC]

1274
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:09,318
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS GROANING]

1275
01:18:18,761 --> 01:18:19,762
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

1276
01:18:19,762 --> 01:18:22,231
CHICK (ON PA): It looks like
the Muskrats have the Ironmen

1277
01:18:22,231 --> 01:18:25,734
completely baffled out there.

1278
01:18:25,734 --> 01:18:29,205
[WALTZ MUSIC]

1279
01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:35,177
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS QUESTIONING]

1280
01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:54,129
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

1281
01:18:54,129 --> 01:18:55,030
Ha, ha, ha.

1282
01:18:55,030 --> 01:18:56,532
I don't know what's
gotten into them,

1283
01:18:56,532 --> 01:19:00,402
but the Muskrats look like
a different team out there.

1284
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:01,804
Animals, right.

1285
01:19:01,804 --> 01:19:04,773
You are a wolverine.

1286
01:19:04,773 --> 01:19:09,712
OK, you are a, uh, rhinoceros.

1287
01:19:09,712 --> 01:19:13,182
You are a fuzzy little
mouse, but you're mean,

1288
01:19:13,182 --> 01:19:16,118
you're vicious.

1289
01:19:16,118 --> 01:19:19,588
[ERNEST LAUGHS]

1290
01:19:21,056 --> 01:19:25,995
And the extra point is good!

1291
01:19:25,995 --> 01:19:27,997
There's the kick off.

1292
01:19:27,997 --> 01:19:30,566
And the Muskrats bring
'em down near mid-field.

1293
01:19:30,566 --> 01:19:33,702
But with just 20 seconds
left on the clock,

1294
01:19:33,702 --> 01:19:37,106
it looks like the valiant
heroics are all for naught.

1295
01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:39,141
All right, so what
do we do now, Ernest?

1296
01:19:39,141 --> 01:19:41,543
I don't know, fellas,
I'm fresh out of ideas.

1297
01:19:41,543 --> 01:19:42,611
Leave it to me guys.

1298
01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:43,512
Here's what we do.

1299
01:19:43,512 --> 01:19:45,681
OK, I'll need your
help. (WHISPERS)

1300
01:19:45,681 --> 01:19:49,418
Off-center and then
you guys back me up.

1301
01:19:49,418 --> 01:19:51,587
Yoo-hoo, number 57!

1302
01:19:55,090 --> 01:19:56,558
Hey, you're cute.

1303
01:20:00,462 --> 01:20:03,866
[VIOLIN PLAYING ROMANTIC SONG]

1304
01:20:03,866 --> 01:20:04,833
OPPOSING TEAM: Break!

1305
01:20:13,375 --> 01:20:14,610
IRONMAN PLAYER: 32.

1306
01:20:14,610 --> 01:20:15,577
32.

1307
01:20:15,577 --> 01:20:16,478
Hut!

1308
01:20:18,614 --> 01:20:19,515
MAISY: For me?

1309
01:20:19,515 --> 01:20:21,784
Thank you.

1310
01:20:21,784 --> 01:20:22,785
MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Timeout!

1311
01:20:22,785 --> 01:20:24,219
COACH: It's the old cupid play!

1312
01:20:24,219 --> 01:20:26,188
The old cupid play!

1313
01:20:26,188 --> 01:20:28,123
What a game!

1314
01:20:28,123 --> 01:20:31,060
The Muskrats have called their
last timeout with just three

1315
01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:34,463
seconds left on the clock.

1316
01:20:34,463 --> 01:20:37,766
And meanwhile, the
backfield comes back

1317
01:20:37,766 --> 01:20:39,935
here to cover me on the play.

1318
01:20:39,935 --> 01:20:42,204
Any questions?

1319
01:20:42,204 --> 01:20:44,440
All right then.

1320
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,407
Lets go.

1321
01:20:48,811 --> 01:20:50,045
Wait a minute!

1322
01:20:50,045 --> 01:20:50,979
Ernest!

1323
01:20:50,979 --> 01:20:51,947
Oh, Bobby!

1324
01:20:51,947 --> 01:20:53,549
Did you charge Ernest?

1325
01:20:53,549 --> 01:20:54,516
Nein!

1326
01:20:54,516 --> 01:20:55,517
Ach der lieber!

1327
01:20:55,517 --> 01:20:56,418
Ernest!

1328
01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:16,205
MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Hey,
who's that in our uniforms?

1329
01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:17,206
MUSKRAT PLAYER 2: What
are they doing out there?

1330
01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:18,207
MUSKRAT PLAYER 3:
What's going on?

1331
01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,108
ERNEST: 37.

1332
01:21:19,108 --> 01:21:20,375
21.

1333
01:21:20,375 --> 01:21:21,410
39.

1334
01:21:21,410 --> 01:21:23,445
Pi to the ninth, pi to the
ninth, pi to the ninth.

1335
01:21:23,445 --> 01:21:24,346
Heba-dee.

1336
01:21:24,346 --> 01:21:26,749
[SPLUTTERING]

1337
01:21:28,117 --> 01:21:29,051
Oh, boy.

1338
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:35,023
[FOOTBALL PLAYERS GRUNTING]

1339
01:21:36,525 --> 01:21:38,026
[ERNEST GROANING]

1340
01:21:38,026 --> 01:21:41,029
[FAST PACED JAZZ MUSIC]

1341
01:21:43,098 --> 01:21:44,032
IRONMAN PLAYER 2: I got him!

1342
01:21:44,032 --> 01:21:45,033
I got him!

1343
01:21:49,004 --> 01:21:50,105
Hey, Ernest!

1344
01:21:50,105 --> 01:21:51,006
Ernest!

1345
01:21:51,006 --> 01:21:52,508
Ho, ho, ho, ho!

1346
01:21:52,508 --> 01:21:53,509
Ow yeah!

1347
01:22:07,556 --> 01:22:08,457
Uh-oh.

1348
01:22:15,464 --> 01:22:16,965
Come on baby!

1349
01:22:16,965 --> 01:22:17,966
Come on, do it!

1350
01:22:20,936 --> 01:22:23,438
CHICKASAW PLAYER 1: You
can make it, Ernest!

1351
01:22:23,438 --> 01:22:25,941
CHICKASAW PLAYER 2:
You're almost there!

1352
01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:27,442
GERTA: You can make it!

1353
01:22:27,442 --> 01:22:30,913
[ERNEST LAUGHING]

1354
01:22:33,415 --> 01:22:34,416
Oh, yeah.

1355
01:22:45,894 --> 01:22:48,897
[ERNEST YELLING]

1356
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:54,369
[WIND HOWLING]

1357
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,430
I got it!
I got it!

1358
01:23:21,430 --> 01:23:22,331
Come on, come on!

1359
01:23:22,331 --> 01:23:25,901
Right here, right
here, right here!

1360
01:23:25,901 --> 01:23:26,802
I got it!

1361
01:23:26,802 --> 01:23:28,303
I got it!

1362
01:23:28,303 --> 01:23:29,805
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

1363
01:23:29,805 --> 01:23:31,306
CHICK (ON PA): The Muskrats win!

1364
01:23:31,306 --> 01:23:32,808
The Muskrats win!

1365
01:23:32,808 --> 01:23:35,310
They're the new
district champions!

1366
01:23:38,881 --> 01:23:40,282
Yes!
Yes!

1367
01:23:40,282 --> 01:23:41,283
Yes!

1368
01:23:41,283 --> 01:23:43,785
Get him off of there!

1369
01:23:43,785 --> 01:23:45,287
Get the cops!

1370
01:23:45,287 --> 01:23:51,860
Get the [INAUDIBLE]

1371
01:23:51,860 --> 01:23:52,761
Yay!

1372
01:24:02,237 --> 01:24:05,240
[ERNEST GROANING]

1373
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:17,619
And that's exactly why, hey!

1374
01:24:17,619 --> 01:24:20,756
I heard you trying to
sell us out, you dipstick!

1375
01:24:20,756 --> 01:24:22,224
I don't know what
you're talking about.

1376
01:24:22,224 --> 01:24:24,526
I never thought
you'd go that far.

1377
01:24:24,526 --> 01:24:25,694
Listen, I can explain.

1378
01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:28,297
Everything I've done, I did
it for the good of the school

1379
01:24:28,297 --> 01:24:29,331
system as a whole.

1380
01:24:29,331 --> 01:24:30,899
That is your opinion.

1381
01:24:30,899 --> 01:24:33,268
But I think you,
along with your buddy

1382
01:24:33,268 --> 01:24:35,304
Decker, will be out
looking for new jobs

1383
01:24:35,304 --> 01:24:37,272
once I tell the school board
what you've been up to.

1384
01:24:37,272 --> 01:24:38,240
No!

1385
01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:39,141
Don't do that.

1386
01:24:39,141 --> 01:24:40,375
We can work something out.

1387
01:24:40,375 --> 01:24:41,276
I mean--

1388
01:24:41,276 --> 01:24:45,247
[INAUDIBLE] [INAUDIBLE] a
school that produces champions

1389
01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:47,516
isn't the kind of school
any enlightened person

1390
01:24:47,516 --> 01:24:49,351
would think about closing.

1391
01:24:49,351 --> 01:24:50,352
You, you mean--

1392
01:24:50,352 --> 01:24:52,854
Chickasaw Falls
will stay open.

1393
01:24:52,854 --> 01:24:56,325
[THEME SONG]

1394
01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:24,152
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

1395
01:25:25,053 --> 01:25:27,823
So you actually
passed the big test?

1396
01:25:27,823 --> 01:25:28,790
Unbelievable.

1397
01:25:28,790 --> 01:25:29,691
Yeah, Ernest.

1398
01:25:29,691 --> 01:25:31,793
By Friday night you'll be
a high school graduate.

1399
01:25:31,793 --> 01:25:33,562
Didn't doubt you
for a second, pal.

1400
01:25:33,562 --> 01:25:35,297
(NORMAL VOICE) Well
you guys were a big help.

1401
01:25:35,297 --> 01:25:36,431
Thanks a lot.

1402
01:25:36,431 --> 01:25:37,332
But you know?

1403
01:25:37,332 --> 01:25:39,334
I think I had it
in me all along.

1404
01:25:39,334 --> 01:25:41,703
MISS FLUGAL: Ernest?

1405
01:25:41,703 --> 01:25:42,771
(WHISPERING) Good luck, buddy.

1406
01:25:42,771 --> 01:25:43,672
Come on!

1407
01:25:49,711 --> 01:25:51,546
Ernest, I just
came by to say how

1408
01:25:51,546 --> 01:25:55,117
proud I am of you for
finally getting that diploma.

1409
01:25:55,117 --> 01:25:56,885
Good for you.

1410
01:25:56,885 --> 01:26:00,122
Well I couldn't have done
it without you, Miss Flugal.

1411
01:26:00,122 --> 01:26:02,491
Oh I, I made you something.

1412
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:08,130
Oh!

1413
01:26:08,130 --> 01:26:10,565
It's a music box.

1414
01:26:10,565 --> 01:26:12,534
Ernest, how sweet!

1415
01:26:12,534 --> 01:26:16,338
You made that for me?

1416
01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:18,340
(QUIETLY) Listen.

1417
01:26:18,340 --> 01:26:21,843
[SHRIEKS LOUDLY]

1418
01:26:46,334 --> 01:26:47,235
Hmm.

1419
01:26:51,773 --> 01:26:55,310
Once again, the right
tool for the right job.

1420
01:26:55,310 --> 01:26:56,778
Know what I mean?

1421
01:26:56,778 --> 01:27:14,496
[THEME MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE
MUSKRATS"]

1422
01:27:14,496 --> 01:27:18,066
Hail to the Muskrats.

1423
01:27:18,066 --> 01:27:19,868
The brave avenger Muskrats.

1424
01:27:22,871 --> 01:27:24,372
Hail to the Muskrats!

1425
01:27:24,372 --> 01:27:27,075
They do what all
they do for Muskrats.

1426
01:27:27,075 --> 01:27:30,979
Cheer for the Muskrats,
we're for the Muskrats!

1427
01:27:30,979 --> 01:27:34,883
Hail to the Muskrats.

1428
01:27:34,883 --> 01:27:39,087
Those fuzzy mighty Muskrats.

1429
01:27:39,087 --> 01:27:43,892
Hail to the Muskrats, those
mangy, beaten, marvel Muskrats.

1430
01:27:43,892 --> 01:27:45,393
One day the Muskrats prevail.

1431
01:27:48,964 --> 01:27:51,066
[WESTERN MUSIC]

1432
01:28:13,288 --> 01:28:15,390
[LIGHT MUSIC]

1433
01:28:21,963 --> 01:28:24,065
[FAST PACED MUSIC]

1434
01:28:37,579 --> 01:28:40,615
[THEME MUSIC]