1 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,591 TREEGER: Oh, man. 2 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:10,801 [WHIRRING NEARBY] 3 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,554 - What is that? - Treeger's snaking the shower drain. 4 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,225 TREEGER: What in the name of hell? 5 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,937 Maybe he found your flip-flop. 6 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,608 CHANDLER: Hey. - Whoa. 7 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,444 Is this porn? 8 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:32,031 What did I do? I must have hit something on the remote. 9 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,615 Do we pay for this? 10 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,244 No, we didn't even pay our cable bill. 11 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,747 Maybe this is how they punish us. 12 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:43,667 Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill. Free phone sex. 13 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:47,129 Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill. 14 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,718 Whoa, hey, that lady's all kinds of naked. 15 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,347 Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just came on. 16 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,977 It happened to me once. I was flipping through the channels and, bam. 17 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:06,148 - It was like finding money. - Finding money with naked people on it. 18 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,485 Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV. 19 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,987 I never got it back again. 20 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,280 And I'm sad. 21 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,913 Why would he turn off the TV? 22 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,552 All right, you know what? Do we really have to watch this while we eat? 23 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,512 CHANDLER & JOEY: No, no, no. 24 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:22,307 We don't know what could make this go away. 25 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:27,229 Yeah, so no one touches the remote, and no one touches the TV. 26 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,566 And no one touches the air around the TV. 27 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:36,572 Imagine a protective porn bubble, if you will. 28 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,534 - I'm at least going to mute it. BOTH: No, no, no. 29 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,748 - We still have porn. - Yeah. 30 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,210 - Hi. MONICA: Hey. 31 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,503 Honey, what are you doing? 32 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,089 - That's too heavy. Give it here. PHOEBE: Yeah. 33 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,259 Oh, God. 34 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,303 Okay. 35 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,637 Ugh. 36 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:05,309 I'm getting too pregnant for this... Lugging around a stupid massage table. 37 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,811 I have to find a job where I carry a smaller table. 38 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,938 Or a job where you don't have to carry a table. 39 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,024 You mean, like a doctor? 40 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,694 Pheebs, you're blocking the porn. Look out. 41 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,196 Oh! 42 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,947 Oh, my. 43 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,618 Oh, that reminds me. I have to see my ob-gyn today. 44 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,958 - Hi. - Hi. 45 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,669 So, uh, Emily just went to the airport. 46 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,546 Aw. Why didn't you take her? 47 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,465 Ehh, her uncle had planned on doing it. 48 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,302 And you know, we said our goodbyes this morning, so... 49 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,431 You must feel horrible. Hey, the guys have free porn. 50 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,560 No. 51 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,730 Hey, cheer up. You're gonna see her again, right? 52 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,608 Well, that's the thing. I don't know. 53 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,027 I mean, whenever I brought it up with her, she said: 54 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,614 [IN BRITISH ACCENT] "This is so fantastic. Why do we have to talk about the future? 55 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,158 - Let's enjoy..." - Don't do the accent. 56 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,870 You've got to see her again. 57 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,664 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Why do you care? 58 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,165 Because. 59 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,542 You could get to live out my fantasy. 60 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,170 You've had fantasies about Emily? 61 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,675 No. You know, the fantasy. 62 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,510 Meet someone from a strange land... 63 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,304 ...fall madly in love and spend the rest of your lives together. 64 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,390 Is that why, in junior high... 65 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,601 ...you were the only one who hung out with that Ukrainian kid? 66 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:35,440 Yeah, that, but plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything. 67 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,068 Do you love her? 68 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,364 We said it was only gonna be two weeks, you know? 69 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,200 You love her. 70 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,370 What is love, really? 71 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,831 I knew you loved her. 72 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,333 You need to go to the airport and tell her. 73 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,378 You're probably gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. 74 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,548 You're gonna call out her name and yell, "I love you." 75 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,967 She's gonna say, "I love you too." 76 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,262 Then you guys are gonna have the most amazing kiss. 77 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,764 Everyone at the gate will applaud. 78 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,851 I am a good kisser. 79 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:16,064 Then you two can sneak into the cockpit. 80 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,401 Things will start to heat up. 81 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,237 And then a stewardess comes in... 82 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,907 I've been watching too much porn. 83 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,954 [BABY'S HEART BEATING OVER SONOGRAM] 84 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,831 - Is that the heartbeat? - That's it. 85 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,167 Oh, my God. 86 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,210 Oh, wow. This is so cool. 87 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,548 Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births? 88 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,384 Why don't we just take care of this one? 89 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,429 And should I get pregnant again, I'll hold onto your card, okay? 90 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:52,517 No, I'm getting three separate heartbeats. 91 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,229 Three? You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one. 92 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,439 [GRUNTS] 93 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,150 - Doctors are wrong all the time. - Well... 94 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,154 Well, so are you sure that there are three? 95 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,907 DOCTOR: Definitely. PHOEBE: Oh, my God. 96 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:11,495 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. DOCTOR: Ha, ha. 97 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,789 So in a few months... 98 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:17,209 ...I'm gonna have three full-grown babies just walking around inside me? 99 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,421 Oh, oh. And it's gonna be like one of those log rides... 100 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,132 ...when they just come shooting out. 101 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,595 Giving birth to three babies is not that different than giving birth to one. 102 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,347 What do you know? 103 00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:39,314 - Phoebe. PHOEBE: Oh! Hi. 104 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,857 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 105 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,235 So how'd it go at the doctor's? 106 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,903 Oh, well, okay. Hey. 107 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,989 You know how, when you're, um, walking down the street... 108 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,951 ...and you see three people in a row. 109 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:54,162 And you say "Oh, that's nice." 110 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,500 - Yes. PHOEBE: Okay. 111 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:03,004 Yeah, well, good news. You're gonna have three babies. Aah! 112 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,383 - Three babies? PHOEBE: Uh-huh. 113 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,593 Oh, oh! 114 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,263 I've finally got my band. 115 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:16,351 We're gonna have a big family! I always wanted a big family! 116 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:21,940 Oh, God. I'm so glad you guys are happy. I was so afraid you we're gonna be freaked. 117 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,693 - Oh. - Why would we be freaked? 118 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:29,072 No, because maybe it's harder to raise them and the added expense. Ugh! 119 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:34,035 - Oh. - Right. 120 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,914 No, back to happy. Back to happy! 121 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,918 No, no, no. It's gonna be fine... 122 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,545 ...because, um... 123 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,547 Because I teach Home Ec. 124 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:50,427 And I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. 125 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:55,182 You know, it'll be like my very own little sweatshop. 126 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,894 You know, I've been thinking... 127 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,229 ...ever since you said that we're gonna have triplets. 128 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:08,069 The best thing for me to do is drop out of college and get a job. 129 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,947 ALICE: Frank. - No, you can't quit college. No. 130 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,449 You're in college? Really? 131 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,494 - Yeah, refrigerator college. - Yeah. 132 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,915 Yeah, you know, when we found out we were gonna have a baby... 133 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:24,961 ...I figured, you know, I should have, like, a career, you know? 134 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,963 - And I love refrigerators. - Yeah. 135 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,592 You can't give up on your dream. Ugh. 136 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:34,721 No, it's okay. We're gonna have three kids. 137 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:38,099 And that's a different kind of dream. 138 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,018 Three kids and no money. 139 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,778 WOMAN [ON PA]: This is the boarding call for Flight 009. 140 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,780 ROSS: Emily. 141 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,615 Oh, my God. What are you doing here? 142 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,786 I just... I had to see you one more time before you took off. 143 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,956 You are so sweet. 144 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,166 [LAUGHING] 145 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,752 That's a big candy bar. 146 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,882 I had the most amazing time with you. 147 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,802 Me too. 148 00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:17,639 WOMAN: This is the final boarding call for Flight 009. 149 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,976 Well, that's me. 150 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,318 Here, have this. 151 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,487 I'm only allowed one piece of carry-on anyway. 152 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,030 [CHUCKLES] 153 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,159 Wait, uh... 154 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,955 Listen, I have to tell you something. 155 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,040 I've been thinking. 156 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,836 I'm just going to come out and say it, okay? Uh... 157 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,255 I think... 158 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,674 ...I love you. 159 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,012 Oh. 160 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,352 Thank you. 161 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,779 It's no problem. 162 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,035 [HUMMING PORNO MUSIC] 163 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,206 What is that song that has been in my head all day? 164 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:28,043 It's the theme from Good Will Humping. 165 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,882 You know who doesn't even like dirty movies? 166 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,385 - My new boyfriend Joshua. - Yeah, right. 167 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:42,932 No, he told me he prefers to leave certain things to the imagination. 168 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,770 Oh, oh, yeah. Did he also say that he thought some of the dialogue was corny? 169 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,314 And that he actually found it funny, not sexy? 170 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,732 Yes. 171 00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,402 Yeah, he likes porn. 172 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,490 Where you going? 173 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,951 I'm gonna find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. 174 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,120 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hi. 175 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,748 BOTH: Hi. Hey. - How'd it go with Frank and Alice? 176 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,416 Frank has to quit college... 177 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:12,212 ...because his super-fertile sister is having three babies. Ugh. 178 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,631 I need to make a lot of money really fast. 179 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,092 And I had an idea that I wanted to talk to you about... 180 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,260 ...because you work for a big company. Okay. 181 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,595 Insider trading. 182 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,808 What information is there that you can give me? 183 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,602 Well, actually, they don't really talk to us about that stuff. 184 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,771 I can get you some free White-Out, though. 185 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,360 Huh! Did you do what I said? Did you tell her? 186 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,404 - I did. - And what did she say? 187 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,072 "Thank you." 188 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,660 You're totally welcome. What'd she say? 189 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,622 She said, "Thank you." 190 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,250 I said, "I love you." 191 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,461 And she said, "Thank you." 192 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,757 Oh, wait. Did you say you love her? 193 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,802 Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do? 194 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,805 What do I do now? 195 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,224 You play hard-to-get. 196 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,644 She already lives in London. 197 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,189 So you go to Tokyo. 198 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,984 All right, look, forget it. 199 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,028 Okay, forget it. You told her you love her. It's over. 200 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:22,282 It is not over. You're over. 201 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,993 What? 202 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,663 You know. 203 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,459 Okay. 204 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,336 Good one. 205 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:40,175 It's not over because she's gonna call you and tell you she loves you. 206 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:43,803 The reason why she couldn't is because her feelings were so strong that it scared her. 207 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,055 Now, you go home and you wait for her call. 208 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,683 She could be calling you from the plane. Come on, go. 209 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:53,104 Okay, okay. But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over. 210 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:57,984 No, wait, wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, you know, to see what's going on... 211 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:02,530 ...and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. 212 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:05,617 Then it's over. 213 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,744 Way to be strong, man. 214 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,088 - Hi. CHANDLER & JOEY: Hey. 215 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,341 Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? 216 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,010 We need a porn break. 217 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:28,139 We spent the last two hours watching In and Out and In Again. 218 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,976 Well, so why don't you just turn it off? 219 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,021 Because then we'd be the guys who turned off free porn. 220 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,733 Oh, good, you're here. 221 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:39,943 GROUP: Hey. 222 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,402 RACHEL: What you got there? 223 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,572 Oh, this? Well, I'm glad you asked. 224 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,203 Now, don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can... 225 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,705 ...with an ordinary steak knife? 226 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,042 Ha. 227 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,961 Now, I know what you're thinking. 228 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,004 Pregnant woman slays four? 229 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,384 They didn't make you pay for those knives, did they? 230 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,094 - No. - Are you sure? 231 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,012 No. 232 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:12,100 You're not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice by selling knives. 233 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,351 No, no. I know that. 234 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,479 But I just need to make enough money for the second part of my plan. 235 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:20,066 - What's the second part of your plan? - My Saturn dealership. 236 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,069 [PHONE RINGING] 237 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,451 Hello? 238 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,328 Ross? 239 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,330 Emily. Hi. 240 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,543 Uh, how was your flight? 241 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,003 It was dreadful. 242 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:44,632 Uh, I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things. 243 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,553 No, no, that's all right. Um... 244 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,139 I'm just glad you called. 245 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,809 Ross, um, there's something that I've got to tell you. 246 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,063 There's someone else. 247 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,655 Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America? 248 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,243 She doesn't know which one of us she wants. 249 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,329 Me or this "Colin" guy. 250 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,999 This isn't how it was supposed to go. I mean, there can't be another guy. 251 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,667 Well... 252 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,712 Of course there's another guy. 253 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,923 Heh. This is even more perfect. 254 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,343 Now you have to prove your love. 255 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:32,680 I'm not proving anything, okay? I'm done listening to you. 256 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,892 If I hadn't let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place... 257 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,936 ...I wouldn't have put my fist through the wall. 258 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,687 You put your fist through the wall? 259 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,231 No, I missed and hit the door. 260 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,526 But it opened really hard. 261 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,530 - You have to go to London. - What? 262 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,366 Yep. You have to go fight for her. 263 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,368 Oh, yeah, sure. That makes sense. 264 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:56,579 Because you already told her you loved her, and she didn't say it back. 265 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,123 Then she called you and told you there was another guy. 266 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,209 So yeah. Go to London. That will scare her. 267 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,464 When Rachel was with Paolo, what did you do? 268 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,591 I made fun of his accent. 269 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,470 You sat back and let him have her. You didn't fight at all. Am I right? 270 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,931 You want the same thing to happen with Emily? 271 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,224 - No. MONICA: All right, then. 272 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,060 Go fight for her. Go to London. 273 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,729 I mean, that could be you and Emily. 274 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,985 That, but nicer. 275 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,569 Just go to London. 276 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,280 - Really? - Come on. 277 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:35,326 Surprise her. Show up at her doorstep. Don't let her go without a fight. 278 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,580 - All right. All right. I'm going to do it. MONICA: All right. 279 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:43,042 I'm gonna go to London, and I am gonna fight for her. 280 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,961 Okay. Good luck. 281 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,339 Ross, Ross. If you're going to the airport... 282 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,509 ...can you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? 283 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,770 Oh, oh, I did it. I did it. I figured out a way to make money. 284 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:06,065 I'm gonna open up my own massage place and Frank's gonna help me. 285 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,402 And we can work it around his schedule, so he doesn't have to quit school. 286 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,029 La-la-la. 287 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,365 That sounds great. But how can you afford it? 288 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,034 We were walking down the street... 289 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,036 ...and we saw that van you used for catering. 290 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,621 - And we realized... - I'm telling it. I'm telling it. 291 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,500 Okay, you know how people need transportation... 292 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,919 ...but they also need massages to relax? 293 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:31,716 So I just figured we could combine the two. Okay, I give the massages and Frank drives. 294 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,720 I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back and you know what I've got? 295 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,848 A place that no one will ever get out of alive? 296 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:45,313 No, think about it. It's a taxi that people take when they need to relax. 297 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,523 It's a Relaxi-Taxi. 298 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,611 The name was my favorite part. 299 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,281 - Well, I came up with it. - You did not! 300 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,075 RACHEL: Oh! 301 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:02,455 No. You came up with Relaxi-Cab. That's not good. 302 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,416 [PHONE RINGS] 303 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,543 - Hello? ROSS [OVER PHONE]: Hey. 304 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,214 Oh, my God. Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised? 305 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,424 ROSS: No, because she hasn't come home yet. 306 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,635 And she hasn't been home all night. 307 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,387 She's obviously staying with that other guy. 308 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:22,141 And I'm the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment. 309 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,352 All right, when is the next flight out? 310 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,812 About four hours. 311 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:29,690 Okay, just stay there a couple more hours. If she doesn't show up, come home. 312 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,901 Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi. 313 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,404 And ask him if he thinks that is better than Relaxi-Cab. 314 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,701 It's not Relaxi-Cab. It's Relaxi-Cab. Like Taxi-Cab. 315 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,246 Ooh, that is better. 316 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,708 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 317 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,880 Are we in London? 318 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,008 Why are you doing here? You can't be here. 319 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,261 I've come to talk to Ross. 320 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,182 What? 321 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,728 Nothing. No, nothing. 322 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,730 I was gonna call him... 323 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,900 Oh, you came to tell him you love him. I knew it! 324 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,403 I was right! I'm right, right? 325 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,989 I'd really rather talk to him. 326 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,618 I've been to his apartment and he's not there. 327 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,620 And I need to talk to him. 328 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,331 So do you have any idea where he is? 329 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,712 [PHONE RINGING] 330 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,177 EMILY [ON MACHINE]: Ross, are you there? 331 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:46,475 Ross, I don't know if you can hear this, but I'm gonna talk anyway. 332 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,854 I'm in the States with your sister and your friends. 333 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,315 And it's all over with Colin. 334 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,195 I came here to tell you that and to tell you... 335 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,531 Yes, Joey, you can have all the chocolate you want. Just take it. 336 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:08,372 I came here to tell you that I love you. 337 00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:10,666 I love you too. 338 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:14,420 I'm gonna call you right now from the phone booth. 339 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,714 You can't hear me. 340 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,635 I wish I could know if you'd heard any of that. 341 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:24,222 I suppose I've either told you that I love you or given my neighbors a good laugh. 342 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:28,726 Mrs. Newman, if you're listening, bugger off. This is none of your business. 343 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,438 Suppose there's not much chance you did hear that. 344 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,815 And there's the call waiting... 345 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:38,194 ...so I should go. 346 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,696 Oh, well. 347 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,367 Hello? 348 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,327 ROSS: Hi. 349 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:50,957 Ross, I love you. 350 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,750 Oh. 351 00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:56,295 Thank you. 352 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,430 - Hey. JOEY: Hey. 353 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,184 I was just at the bank and there was this really hot teller. 354 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:14,438 And she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault. 355 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:17,066 Same kind of thing happened to me. 356 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,110 Woman pizza delivery guy comes over... 357 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,821 ...gives me the pizza, takes the money and leaves. 358 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:25,324 What, no "Nice apartment, bet the bedrooms are huge"? 359 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:27,451 No, nothing. 360 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,455 You know what? We have to turn off the porn. 361 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,958 I think you're right. 362 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,169 All right, ready? 363 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,671 - One. - Two. 364 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,256 - Three. - Three. 365 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,845 That's kind of nice. 366 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,307 - Yeah, that's kind of a relief. - Yeah. 367 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,065 - You want to see if we still have it? - Yeah. 368 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,486 Free porn! We have free porn! 369 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,658 [English - US - SDH]