1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:06,588
- Thanks for the tasty dinner.
- You're welcome for a tasty dinner.

2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,757
PHOEBE:
What are you guys looking at?

3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,552
CHANDLER: Ross and the most
beautiful girl in the world.

4
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,595
Yeah, come to Papa!

5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,436
I know!

6
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,523
Probably the only time
I'll say this...

7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,067
...but did you see the ass on her?

8
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,570
What did you?
When did you?

9
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,740
How did you?
How did you get a girl like that?

10
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:38,245
So what is she, like a spokesmodel?
An aerobics instructor?

11
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,790
Actually, she's a paleontology
doctoral candidate...

12
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,168
...specializing in the Cenozoic Era.

13
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,046
But that's, like, the easiest era.

14
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,341
I've seen her at work,
but I always figured...

15
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,135
[SCOFFS]

16
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,263
But, uh, I made her dinner.

17
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:59,975
We had a great time.
And we're going out again tomorrow.

18
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:06,356
Maybe her friends are betting to see
who gets the biggest geek.

19
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,942
Fine by me. Hope she wins.

20
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,159
Hey!

21
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,203
You have any wrapping paper?

22
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,038
Is it for my birthday present?

23
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,874
It was your birthday months ago.

24
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:11,213
You said you ordered something special
and it just hadn't come yet.

25
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,092
I have a call in about that.

26
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,302
Oh. Okay.

27
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,390
It's for Kathy. It's an early copy
of her favorite book.

28
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,101
Oh! The Velveteen Rabbit!

29
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,062
When the boy's love
makes the rabbit real...

30
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,691
Don't touch it, because
your fingers have destructive oils.

31
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,778
Then you'd better keep it away
from Ross' hair.

32
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,241
This is pretty rare.
How did you get that?

33
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:42,077
No big deal.
I just went to some bookstores...

34
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:46,582
...talked to some dealers, called
some of the author's grandchildren.

35
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,500
Honey, that's so sweet.

36
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:53,422
What a great way to say, "I secretly
love you, roommate's girlfriend."

37
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,091
It doesn't say that.

38
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:57,759
Does it?

39
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:02,723
How will it look when you get her
something incredibly meaningful...

40
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:06,935
...and expensive, and her boyfriend,
Joey, gives her an orange?

41
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,772
I'll make sure Joey gets her
something really great.

42
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,108
It's got to be better than that book.

43
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,152
Ooh! Like a crossbow!

44
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,114
Once again, I am sorry.

45
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,116
Thank you. Bye.

46
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:26,121
I had to turn down a job
catering a funeral for 60 people.

47
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,291
Oh, my God! What happened?

48
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,460
Sixty guests.

49
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,132
Why'd you have to turn it down?

50
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,635
I don't have the money or equipment...

51
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:43,305
...to handle something that big
on such short notice.

52
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,807
Wow, what is with all the negativity?

53
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,311
You sound like "Moni-can't,"
not "Moni-can"!

54
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,564
Moni-ca.

55
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:57,569
You've been playing around
with this catering for years.

56
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,405
- Do you want to be a caterer?
- I don't know.

57
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,574
There you go! That's the spirit!

58
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:08,080
If you need money, I will lend
you money. Just get moving!

59
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,833
Really? I'd need $500
for all the food and supplies.

60
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:16,672
It's worth it if it'll get you moving.
You haven't worked in months!

61
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:17,881
Neither have you.

62
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,509
Yes, but I'm doing this.

63
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,220
That would be great! Thank you.

64
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,306
- Hey!
CHANDLER & KATHY: Hey!

65
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,810
Can I borrow your apartment keys?

66
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,019
Why?

67
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:35,857
You can pee here.

68
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:43,031
Ha-ha-ha. Yes, I can, of course.
Excuse me.

69
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,368
It's okay.
The duck's using our bathroom anyway.

70
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,873
What are you getting
for her birthday?

71
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,710
We've been dating a couple weeks.
I got to get her something?

72
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,003
ALL:
Yes!

73
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,964
Yes! You have to get her
something really nice.

74
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,259
- I know!
- And not one of your coupons...

75
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,261
...for an hour of "Joey Love."

76
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,601
Ooh! A crossword! Can I help?

77
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,061
No!

78
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,605
Last week I got all
but three answers...

79
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,400
...and I want to finish one
without any help.

80
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,818
Fine.

81
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:23,739
But you can't help me develop
my new universal language.

82
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,867
- Hey!
- How'd it go?

83
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:30,078
Oh, my God!
It was the best funeral ever!

84
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,914
Everyone loved the food.

85
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,584
I even got another funeral
for tomorrow.

86
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,086
The dead guy from today's best friend.

87
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:42,132
It's like I am the official caterer
for that accident.

88
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,301
Mon, I'm so happy for you!

89
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,262
Thanks.
Check out my new catering stuff.

90
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,765
Look! I'm an omelet station!

91
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,851
- Omelet? Made to order?
- Ha!

92
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,479
I'll have one, please.
Plus my money.

93
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,023
Oh...

94
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,609
I didn't realize
you needed it right away.

95
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:04,321
You told me to go and be a caterer.
So I went. I be'd.

96
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,991
I used it to buy all this stuff.

97
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:11,620
I got another job tomorrow,
so I'll pay you back then.

98
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,123
Oh! Okay.
Sorry I acted like a bank.

99
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,550
[ROSS GROANS]

100
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,678
Um, would you like to come in?

101
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:33,183
Did Homo erectus hunt
with wooden tools?

102
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,603
According to recent findings.

103
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,772
[BOTH LAUGHING]

104
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,242
Here, Mitzi! Here, Mitzi!

105
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,662
Uh, Mitzi is?

106
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,664
My hamster.

107
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,834
I hope she's okay.
I haven't seen her in a while.

108
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,877
Have a seat.

109
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,462
[MOUTHS]
Where?

110
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,674
Uh, oh! Do you, uh...?

111
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,676
[CANS CRUNCHING]

112
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,223
Do you have any, um,
Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?

113
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,017
- What?
- Well, I do.

114
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,522
Let's go back to my place,
light a couple candles...

115
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:24,526
...break open a box
of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?

116
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,197
- I'd rather not.
- Oh, yeah? Why not?

117
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:33,034
Okay, um...
Don't take this the wrong way...

118
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,705
...but your place kind of
has a weird smell.

119
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,215
- Is everything in the car?
- Did you settle the bill?

120
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,718
No. I hate this part.

121
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:53,013
Ooh! Oh! Look what we almost left!

122
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,223
- That's not mine.
- Oh.

123
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:57,726
Ooh. Look what we almost took!

124
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,771
[CROWD CHATTERING]

125
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,735
Excuse me, Ms. Burkart?

126
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,904
Well, we're all cleaned up.

127
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:12,532
Oh. Good. Thank you.

128
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,535
Um, ahem...

129
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:19,915
And, well, there's
this small matter of the, um...

130
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,751
- Dear?
- The matter of...

131
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,170
...payment.

132
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:30,091
Jack used to handle the finances.

133
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,427
[SOBBING]

134
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,272
You know what we should all do?

135
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,608
Go see a musical.

136
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,612
Sure.

137
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,323
You know which one?

138
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,494
The 1996 Tony Award winner.

139
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,331
Do you know the name of that one?

140
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,125
I don't know, um, Grease?

141
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,170
No.

142
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,340
Rent?

143
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,634
Yes! Rent!

144
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,095
So when do you want to go?

145
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,722
What? I'm sorry. I can't, I'm busy.

146
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,978
Hey...

147
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:27,566
Man, it is so hard to shop for girls. Ugh!

148
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,819
Yes, it is, at Office Max!

149
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,406
What did you get her?

150
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,492
A pen.

151
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:42,914
It's two gifts in one.
It's a pen that's also a clock. Huh?

152
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,835
- Ha, ha. You can't give her that.
- Why not?

153
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,336
She's not 11!

154
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,674
And it's not the seventh night
of Chanukah.

155
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:59,180
What he means by that is,
while this is a very nice gift...

156
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,017
...maybe it's not something
a boyfriend gives.

157
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,518
Sure, it is.

158
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,020
She needs a pen for work.

159
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,774
She's writing. She turns it over.
"Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"

160
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:16,072
All right. What did you get
for Angela Del Veccio's birthday?

161
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,366
She didn't have one.

162
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,869
For three years?

163
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,207
Look, it's too late,
and I got an audition.

164
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,418
I can't shop anymore.

165
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,381
I will go out
and try to find something for her.

166
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,216
Thanks, man.

167
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,553
While you're at it,
could you get her a card?

168
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,432
Would you like me to write her
a little poem as well?

169
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,061
Or just get a card
that has a poem already in it.

170
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:52,233
- Oh! You have to get our money.
- She couldn't stop crying.

171
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,945
With those thick glasses,
her tears look giant.

172
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,614
I know, it's tough.

173
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,992
You know what the first thing I did
after my mom's funeral was?

174
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,078
- What?
- Pay the caterer!

175
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,580
I've had a lot of jobs.

176
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:09,751
And there are some people
who always try to get out of paying.

177
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,587
It's either "That massage
wasn't long enough"...

178
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,090
...or "I don't know
any of those songs"...

179
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:19,302
...or "These sombreros aren't
big enough. Bad little white girl!"

180
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,638
Okay.

181
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,598
So you think she's faking?

182
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:27,435
There weren't any tears
till you showed her the bill.

183
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,604
She sounded pretty upset to me.

184
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,772
["YOU'RE A GRAND OLD FLAG"
PLAYING ON PIANO]

185
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,440
[SINGING]
You're a grand old flag

186
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:36,736
You're a high-flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave

187
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,447
She seems fine now.

188
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:49,332
So you just left?
Her place was really that bad?

189
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:53,253
You throw your jacket on a chair
at the end of the day.

190
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,298
Like that, only instead of a chair,
it's a pile of garbage.

191
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,886
And instead of a jacket,
it's a pile of garbage.

192
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,766
And instead of the end of
the day, it's the end of time...

193
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,269
...and garbage is all
that has survived.

194
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,815
- Here.
- Wow. Thanks.

195
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,192
So, uh, what happened?

196
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,695
Nothing. I had to get out of there.

197
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,322
Next time, you take her
to your place.

198
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,325
I tried that.
She says it has a weird smell.

199
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:28,830
- What kind of smell?
- I don't know. Soap?

200
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,791
- Listen, you like this girl, right?
- Yeah.

201
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:33,918
- You want to see her again?
- Yeah.

202
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,880
So you're going to have
to do it in the mess!

203
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,675
Yeah, okay. You're right.

204
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,345
I mean, uh, who cares about
a little sloppiness?

205
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,181
Yeah.

206
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,850
- It's endearing, really.
- All right!

207
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,061
Now you go get that beautiful pig!

208
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,899
[SNORTS]

209
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,450
I just spent the entire
afternoon looking for a present...

210
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,495
...for Kathy that would be
better than the rabbit.

211
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:09,662
Any luck?

212
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:14,250
Yeah, I found this great place
called "Invisible Things for Kathy."

213
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,378
Can you give me a hand
with all this stuff?

214
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:21,216
Just return the book,
let Joey give her the clock pen...

215
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,219
...and you get her
something worse than that...

216
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,762
...like a regular pen.

217
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,766
She's really going
to love this, you know?

218
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,061
The bottom line is,
I want her to have it...

219
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,606
...even if I don't get to be
the one who gives it to her.

220
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,775
Aw, honey, that's so sweet.

221
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,237
Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?

222
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,280
Oh, "pathetic"!

223
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:50,495
Hey! I've been looking
all over for you.

224
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,998
- Where?
- Our place. The hall.

225
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:58,920
I got something.

226
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,679
It's a book.

227
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,764
A book?

228
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,768
Is it a book that's also a safe?

229
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,022
It's a book that's just a book.

230
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:22,110
It's The Velveteen Rabbit.
It was her favorite as a kid.

231
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,821
So, uh, just let me know
if she likes it, okay?

232
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,114
You got it.

233
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,616
Thanks for doing this. I owe you one.

234
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,498
There wasn't any change
from that twenty, was there?

235
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:39,002
No, it came out to an even twenty.

236
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,798
Wow. That's almost
as much as a new book.

237
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,011
["JEEPERS CREEPERS"
PLAYING ON PIANO]

238
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,097
[SINGING]
Jeepers Creepers

239
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,974
Where'd you get those peepers?

240
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,769
Jeepers Creepers
Where'd you get those eyes?

241
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:57,937
You didn't get the money?

242
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,648
Maybe I can try at intermission?

243
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,318
You know what? Let's just go.

244
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,571
No! Hey!
We're not leaving till we get paid!

245
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,865
I don't know who she thinks she is.

246
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,950
Enough is enough!

247
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,453
Hey, widow?

248
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,790
Widow? Excuse me? Excuse me!

249
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,083
[PIANO STOPS]

250
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:24,339
Thanks. Um, clearly this is
a very, very hard time for you.

251
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:27,842
Um, but we provided a service,
and we deserve to be paid...

252
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,969
...because you ate that service.

253
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:34,474
We are not leaving here until
we are paid every penny, because...

254
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:38,853
...we're part-time caterers
and we have no place else to go.

255
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,565
All right. I'll get my bag.

256
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,067
Good.

257
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,410
I'm going to leave some cards here.

258
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,707
Please think of us
for your next event.

259
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,382
You want to come inside?

260
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:09,759
Yes.

261
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,805
Yes, I do.

262
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,275
I'll be right back.
Make yourself comfortable.

263
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,636
- Guess who.
- Uh...

264
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,347
Department of Sanitation?

265
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,226
- It's me.
- Ha, oh!

266
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,771
[BOTH LAUGHING AND MOANING]

267
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,488
Aw!

268
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,490
What?

269
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,493
- Oh, Cheryl!
- Oh, Ross!

270
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,205
Oh! Oh!

271
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,085
[SHOUTING]

272
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,838
Oh! God!

273
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,508
Aah! Oh, my God!

274
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,598
No! No!

275
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,392
It's my hamster! It's Mitzi!

276
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:45,313
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
I must have freaked out.

277
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,106
Thank God it's not Mitzi!

278
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,984
It's just a rat.

279
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,490
I did it! Aah!

280
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,743
I finished it! I did it all by myself!

281
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,870
And there's nobody to hug.

282
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,790
Move!

283
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,214
Hey! Hey, you guys!

284
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,633
I finished it all by myself!
Hug me.

285
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,426
Yay! So good!

286
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,221
MONICA: Congratulations.
RACHEL: Thank you.

287
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,639
How did it go?

288
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,851
The widow wouldn't pay, so
Phoebe yelled at her till she did.

289
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,229
I'm a hard-ass.

290
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,526
And I'm a wuss.
We should be partners.

291
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:34,529
Hard-ass and wuss.
We could fight crime.

292
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,199
Wait a minute, Phoebe.

293
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,409
We should be partners.

294
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,745
We should be catering partners.

295
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,707
You're not working now,
and we have a great time together.

296
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,585
- Okay.
- I cook and you take care of the money.

297
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,963
Oh! Lt'll be like
I have a wife in the '50s!

298
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,172
[BOTH SCREAM]

299
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,803
- Hey.
- Hey!

300
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,721
How did she like the gift?

301
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,808
She loved it.
She's showing the girls right now.

302
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,226
Yeah? That's great.

303
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,769
I got to tell you...

304
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,897
...I feel bad taking credit
for this, because...

305
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,150
...am I going to get
a lot of credit for this!

306
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,777
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

307
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,237
[CHANDLER GROANS]

308
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:18,781
- Hey.
- Hey.

309
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,117
Hey. Happy birthday.

310
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,743
Thank you.

311
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,246
You know, uh,
Chandler got you a gift too.

312
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,082
No, he didn't.

313
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:33,337
Yeah, he did. Look,
it's right there on the counter. Ho, ho!

314
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,762
Happy birthday.

315
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,015
I'm sorry.

316
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,269
You really didn't have to.

317
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,272
- Wow!
- See...

318
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,818
You think it's just a pen, but you
turn it over and it's also a clock.

319
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,779
Really? No, this is great!

320
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:02,033
- Thank you, Chandler.
- Oh. Yeah.

321
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,118
Aw. Heh.

322
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,370
Want to go to bed?

323
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,457
I'll be in, in a minute.

324
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:16,130
Oh, uh... Don't forget your coupon.

325
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,471
Good night.

326
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,475
Um, thank you for the gift.

327
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:32,647
Oh, uh, I just knew that
sometimes when you're writing...

328
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,650
...you don't always
know the exact time.

329
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:40,321
No, I didn't mean the pen.
Thank you for the book.

330
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:42,907
Uh, the book?

331
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,700
The Velveteen Rabbit?

332
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,828
I have a feeling you had
something to do with it.

333
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,288
What do you mean?

334
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,832
When Joey gave it to me he said:

335
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,587
"This is because I know you like rabbits,
and I know you like cheese."

336
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,175
Thanks. I love it.

337
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,386
I know how hard
it must have been for you to find.

338
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:04,929
[STAMMERS]

339
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:09,684
In case you missed that,
that sound was, "Oh, well."

340
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,729
You must really like Joey
to go to all that trouble.

341
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,439
Oh, yeah. He's my...

342
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,697
He's my best friend.

343
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,867
- Well...
- Good night.

344
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,422
Hey, that coupon expires, you know.

345
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,639
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

346
00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:53,394
Hi, uh, you don't know me.
I'm Monica Geller, Ross' sister.

347
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:56,856
You know, it's too bad
that didn't work out.

348
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,400
Anyway, he told me
about your apartment.

349
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,570
Well, I couldn't sleep
thinking about it.

350
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:07,825
So, uh, would it be okay
if I cleaned it?

351
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,120
No?

352
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,593
[English - US - SDH]