1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,297
"We've got three minutes
till the reactor blows.

2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:08,549
We'll never make it!"

3
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,802
"You've got to get out of here!
Save yourself!"

4
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,014
"No, I won't leave you."

5
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:20,060
"Don't worry about me.
I'm a robot. I'm just a machine!"

6
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,274
- "No, you're not. Not to me."
- Oh, my God.

7
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,610
- What?
- I am extremely talented.

8
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,863
- Yeah. You're great.
- Yeah.

9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:35,159
- Okay, let's take it from...
- No, I was really acting my ass off.

10
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,078
I thought I was pretty good too.

11
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,789
Yeah, you're solid. You're just no me.

12
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,668
You know what?
I think that's enough for now.

13
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,962
I don't want to be over-rehearsed.
Ha-ha-ha.

14
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,215
Fine. I'll do it without you!

15
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,552
I don't need you or anybody else!

16
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,346
I'm gonna make it on my own!

17
00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,517
You'll see! You'll all see!

18
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,353
So, what's this thing
you're auditioning for?

19
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,271
It's a new TV show. Yeah.

20
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,817
I'm up for the part of Mac,
Machiavelli, or "Mac"!

21
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:56,031
I'm a detective and I solve crimes
with the help of my robot partner.

22
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,784
He's a computerized, humanoid...

23
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,037
...electronically enhanced
secret enforcer.

24
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,081
Or, "C.H.E.E.S.E."

25
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:10,420
- So, Mac and C.H.E.E.S. E?
- That's the title!

26
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,967
They really lucked out
that the initials spell "cheese."

27
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,344
That is lucky.

28
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:21,265
Huh. So, Joey, if you get this,
you're gonna be, like...

29
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,142
...the star of your own TV show.

30
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:27,771
I mean, you'll be like the "Big Cheese"
or the "Big Mac." Hey, you love those!

31
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:31,483
Don't get your hopes up,
because it's probably not gonna happen.

32
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,402
Now, why would you say that, Joseph?

33
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,655
Well, I mean, come on, you guys.
My own TV show?

34
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,575
- I don't know if I'm good enough.
- I am. Heh.

35
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,454
What are you talking about?
You're a terrific actor.

36
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:48,125
- You really think so?
- How can you even ask that question?

37
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:53,088
CHANDLER: She's pretty.
- Yeah. And she's really nice too.

38
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,383
She taught me all about, you know,
how to work with cameras...

39
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,552
...and "smell the fart" acting.

40
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:04,016
- I'm sorry, what'd you say?
ROSS: Excuse me?

41
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,269
It's like you got so many lines
to learn so fast...

42
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,439
...that sometimes you need a minute
to remember your next one.

43
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:15,736
So while you're thinking of it, you take
this big pause where you look all intense.

44
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,404
You know, like this:

45
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,158
RACHEL: Oh.
CHANDLER: Okay.

46
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,409
[GUNSHOT ON TV]

47
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,703
Here's my scene! Here's my scene!

48
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:29,041
Mrs. Wallace? I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray,
your sister's neurosurgeon.

49
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,710
You sister is suffering from a...

50
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:42,179
[IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT] Well, Eva,
we've done some excellent work here.

51
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:50,145
And I would have to say,
your problem is quite clear.

52
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,524
[SINGING]
All you want is a dinkle

53
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,694
What you envy's a schwang

54
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,073
A thing through which you can tinkle

55
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,243
Or play with or simply let hang

56
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,828
I play Al Pacino's butt.

57
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:13,335
All right? He goes into the shower
and then, I'm his butt.

58
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,713
- Oh, my God.
- Come on, you guys.

59
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,217
This is a real movie and Al Pacino's in it,
and that's big!

60
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:24,304
No, it's terrific. You deserve this
after all your years of struggling...

61
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,975
...you've finally been able
to crack your way into show business.

62
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:35,023
Okay, fine, make jokes. I don't care.
This is a big break for me.

63
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,401
- No, you're right, it is.
- Yeah.

64
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,570
So, you gonna invite us all
to the big opening?

65
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,908
All right, I'm out of here.
Wish me luck.

66
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:51,081
[SINGING] Good luck, good luck
We all wish you good luck

67
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,418
Yeah, whatever.

68
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,924
It's your turn.

69
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,885
Oh, are we playing this?

70
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,764
- Hey.
- Hey. How did the audition go?

71
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:12,144
Terrible. I messed up every line.
I shouldn't even be an actor.

72
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,897
Wait. Are you doing that thing
where you pretend it didn't go well...

73
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,482
...but it really did go well?

74
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:23,280
- Yeah, did I fool you?
- Totally!

75
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,949
- So, it did go well?
- It went amazingly well!

76
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,159
- Great.
- That's great.

77
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,703
- It's down to me and two other guys.
CHANDLER: Oh, my God.

78
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,039
I know both of them,
and they're really good.

79
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,334
One's from those allergy commercials
who's always being chased...

80
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,378
...by those big flowers.
- Oh, I love that guy.

81
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,465
Oh. What are you doing?

82
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,300
What am I doing?

83
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:48,805
I'm so nervous, you know?
The callback isn't till tomorrow at 5.

84
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,724
I feel like my head's gonna explode.

85
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,101
Well, it is overdue.

86
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,104
Don't worry, okay?
You're gonna be fine.

87
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,065
Yeah, but it's so much pressure.

88
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,984
No offense, but what you guys all do
is very different.

89
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,903
I don't know if you'd understand.

90
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:06,365
Yeah, none of the rest of us
have to deal with pressure at our jobs.

91
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,492
Yes, I know what time it is...

92
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:11,370
...but I'm looking at the WENIS
and I'm not happy.

93
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,915
Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.

94
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,335
- Uh-huh? Is it dirty?
- No, don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.

95
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,379
Don't. I like it dirty.

96
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,092
That's your call.

97
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:28,178
So, uh, what are you
going to do next?

98
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,098
Well, I thought
that I would cut up the tomatoes.

99
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,266
Are they firm?

100
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,770
They're all right.

101
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:41,775
You sure they haven't gone bad?
You sure they're not very, very bad?

102
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,655
No, really. They're okay.

103
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,574
You gonna slice them up real nice?

104
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,701
Ahem. Actually,
I was gonna do them julienne.

105
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,037
[MOANS]

106
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,831
I'm out of here.

107
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:59,543
Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped
an 81 -year-old woman put on a thong...

108
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,461
...and she didn't even buy it.

109
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,382
I'm quitting. That's it.
I'm talking to my boss right now.

110
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,634
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

111
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,263
Okay, bye.
Call me when you get this message.

112
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,556
Well, what happened?

113
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:17,227
Well, he came in for a massage,
and everything was fine until...

114
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,190
Oh, my God.

115
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:25,610
PHOEBE: And all of a sudden,
his hands weren't the problem anymore.

116
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,702
- Was it?
- Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.

117
00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:36,955
You ate my sandwich.

118
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,666
It was a simple mistake.
It could happen to anyone.

119
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,043
Oh, really?

120
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,087
Now calm down.

121
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,424
Come look in my office.
Some of it may still be in the trash.

122
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,887
- What?
- Well, it was quite large.

123
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,431
I had to throw most of it away.

124
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,849
[STAMMERING]

125
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:59,102
You threw my sandwich away?

126
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,147
ROSS:
My sandwich?

127
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,066
My sandwich!

128
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,279
It's just, I want this part so much,
you know?

129
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:13,575
If I don't get this part, I'm never
gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.

130
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,328
No, I didn't say that.
That doesn't count.

131
00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,460
Come on, guys.
It's not like I moved to Europe.

132
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,629
I just moved across the hall.

133
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,006
And we would have you over
all the time...

134
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:32,344
...if it weren't for Monica's allergies.

135
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,097
You're right, I could never lie to you.

136
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,641
She hates you.

137
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,976
[PHONE RINGS]

138
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,312
Should I get that? Ha-ha-ha.

139
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:47,484
Hello? Uh, no,
Joey's not here right now.

140
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,194
Can I take a message?

141
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,073
Yeah, okay. So the audition's
been moved from 5 to 2:30?

142
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,200
Okay, great. Bye.

143
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,500
[YELLS]

144
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,880
- Aren't you dressed yet?
- Am I naked again?

145
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,133
We're supposed to meet my parents
in 15 minutes.

146
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,011
Okay. I was just talking to the guys.
Just look at them.

147
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,722
I mean, is it okay if they come visit?

148
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,100
What about my allergies?

149
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,019
Right. Your allergies.

150
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,023
All her. She hates you.

151
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,567
[QUACKING]

152
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,077
CHANDLER:
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

153
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,621
Yes! All right.

154
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,043
How cool would it be if you could watch
like a real life-size version of this?

155
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:51,256
- I mean, how crazy would that be?
- As crazy as soccer?

156
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,966
[PHONE RINGS]

157
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,427
[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]

158
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,636
Hello?

159
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,182
What are you talking about?
The audition's not till 5.

160
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,979
Well, nobody told me.

161
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,023
Who'd you talk to?

162
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,070
Never mind.

163
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,449
You mean you didn't get it from this?

164
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,243
The allergy guy got the part. Thanks.

165
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,120
Maybe we can fix it, you know?

166
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,082
Maybe we can send him
some big, big flowers and scare him!

167
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,293
How could you do this to me?

168
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,046
This part could've turned
my whole career around.

169
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,049
I messed up, okay?
I'm sorry. I really messed up.

170
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,177
You don't even live here anymore.
Why'd you answer my phone?

171
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,846
- I have a machine!
- Which I bought for you.

172
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,476
Taught you how to use it.
You thought it was a copier.

173
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,480
If there was anything I could do,
I would do it, okay?

174
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,775
But everybody's allowed
one mistake, right?

175
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,111
He could have gotten me a VCR.
He could have gotten me golf clubs.

176
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,697
But no, he has to get me
the "woman repeller."

177
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,117
The eyesore
from the "Liberace House of Crap!"

178
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,079
- It's not that bad.
- Easy for you to say.

179
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:07,290
You don't have to sport a reject
from the "Mr. T Collection."

180
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,792
Chandler. Chandler.

181
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:12,253
[AS MR. T] I pity the fool
who puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!

182
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,005
I pity the fool that...

183
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,799
Hi...

184
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,095
When you were late last night,
Kathy and I got to talking...

185
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,348
...and one thing led to another and...

186
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,017
And what? Did you sleep with her?

187
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,063
- No! No, I just kissed her.
- What? That's even worse!

188
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,817
- How is that worse?
- I don't know! But it's the same!

189
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:37,362
You're right, I have no excuses.
I was totally over the line.

190
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,697
"Over the line?"

191
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,075
You're so far past the line
that you can't even see the line!

192
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,827
Yeah, the line is a dot to you!

193
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,664
I'm not saying that you should
magically forgive me.

194
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,710
But you're not perfect. You've made
some errors in judgment too.

195
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,086
Name one.

196
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,047
What happened?

197
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,968
Aw, man! He promised
he wouldn't take the chairs!

198
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,221
What the hell happened?
How were you locked in?

199
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,306
And where the hell's all of our stuff?

200
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,684
This guy came by to look at the unit...

201
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,146
...and he said he didn't think
it was big enough to fit a grown man.

202
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,441
So you got in voluntarily?

203
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,568
I was trying to make a sale!

204
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,822
Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again,
you know what I'm gonna do?

205
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,741
Bend over?

206
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,743
There's Lorraine.

207
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:29,289
Okay, now remember, no trading.
You get the pretty one, I get the mess.

208
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,374
- Hi, Joey.
JOEY: Hey.

209
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,002
[JOEY AND LORRAINE CHUCKLE]

210
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,714
Well, well. Look what you brought.

211
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,549
And what did you bring?

212
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,428
She's checking her coat.

213
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,890
Joey, I'm gonna go wash
the cab smell off my hands.

214
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,685
Will you get me a white Zinfandel
and a glass of red for Janice?

215
00:12:55,608 --> 00:13:00,820
Janice?

216
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:06,326
Oh, my God!

217
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,746
Joey's tailor took advantage of me.

218
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,748
What?

219
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,418
No way. I've been going
to the guy for 12 years.

220
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,504
He said he was gonna do my inseam...

221
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,466
...then he ran his hand up my leg
and then there was definite...

222
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,801
What?

223
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,261
Cupping.

224
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,600
That's how they do pants!

225
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,728
Ross, will you tell him?

226
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:38,191
- Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
- Yes, yes, it is. In prison!

227
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,111
I said name one!

228
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,915
- I can't believe I did this. What an idiot.
- Stop beating yourself up.

229
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,751
People make mistakes.
These things happen.

230
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:02,048
There aren't any messages
you've forgotten to give me, are there?

231
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,926
Apparently, you're not very good at it.

232
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:08,263
- Do you think he'll ever forgive me?
- Of course he will.

233
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,516
Chandler, the most important thing
is that you forgive yourself.

234
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,602
- You know what, I kind of have.
- Already?

235
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,688
That was pretty bad, what you did.

236
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,649
You know what? He will forgive you.

237
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:24,362
I like to bring a pad with me when I go
answer the phone, just in case. Okay.

238
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,489
You didn't see how mad he was,
you know?

239
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,283
I'm sure he will forgive you.

240
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,411
Look, we've all been there, you know?
You fight, you make up.

241
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,829
That's the way it works.

242
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,040
It took two people to break up
this relationship!

243
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,376
Yeah! You and that girl
from the copy place...

244
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,212
...which yesterday you took
full responsibility for!

245
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,382
I didn't know what I was taking
responsibility for, okay?

246
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,342
I didn't finish the whole letter.

247
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,219
- What?
- I fell asleep.

248
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,096
You fell asleep?

249
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:54,058
It was 5:30 in the morning.

250
00:14:54,226 --> 00:15:00,356
And you had rambled on for 18 pages.

251
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,151
Front and back!

252
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:09,407
And by the way? Y-O-U,
apostrophe R-E means, "you are."

253
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,826
Y-O-U-R means "your."

254
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,288
I can't believe I thought
of getting back together with you.

255
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,290
We are so over!

256
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,958
[WHIMPERING]

257
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,418
Fine by me!

258
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:25,340
And just so you know,
it's not that common...

259
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,843
...it doesn't happen to every guy,
and it is a big deal!

260
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,888
I knew it!

261
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,392
- You had no right to go out with him.
- That is the most ridiculous...

262
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,895
- You sold me out!
- I did not sell you out!

263
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,565
- Yes, you did! You absolutely sold me...
- Would you let me talk?

264
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,362
Did you just flick me?

265
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,282
Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish
and I was just... Ow!

266
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,910
- Stop it! Ow!
- Ow!

267
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,411
- Stop.
- Stop.

268
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,498
- All right. No, let's not do this.
RACHEL: No!

269
00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,958
[BOTH YELL]

270
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,001
- Happy thoughts.
RACHEL: No!

271
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,753
[YELLING]

272
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,297
- Stop it!
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh!

273
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,384
Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass!

274
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,845
- Ow!
- Ow!

275
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,682
MONICA & RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.
PHOEBE: I know, I know.

276
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:22,063
All right. Now, I will let go
if you both stop.

277
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,898
- Fine.
- Fine.

278
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,025
There we go.

279
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,781
Ha. You know what? If we were in prison,
you guys would be like my bitches.

280
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,083
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.

281
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,546
You hide my clothes?
I'm wearing everything you own.

282
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,382
Oh, my God!

283
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:54,387
Look at me, I'm Chandler!
Could I be wearing any more clothes?

284
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,266
Maybe if I wasn't going "commando."

285
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,518
[GROANS]

286
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:07,275
Whew. I tell you, it's hot with all this
stuff on. I'd better not do any lunges.

287
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:00,828
Joey?

288
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,708
Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!

289
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,086
Joe?

290
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,587
[PHONE RINGS]

291
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,798
Hello? Damn it!

292
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,093
Hello?

293
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:19,222
No, Joey's not here right now,
but I can take a message. I think.

294
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,976
He's still got a chance for the part?
That's great news!

295
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:28,106
Well, no, obviously not for the actor
who was mauled by his dog.

296
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:32,110
Well, that's great.
I will give Joey the message. Thank you.

297
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,319
Yes!

298
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:35,738
Okay.

299
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,532
Mac...

300
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,909
...audition...

301
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,703
...at 2.

302
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,373
Allergy...

303
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,166
...actor...

304
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,919
...attacked.

305
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,260
By dog...

306
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,095
...not...

307
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,055
...flowers.

308
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,150
- Hey.
- Please tell me you got the message.

309
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,111
- What message?
- The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.

310
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:19,115
- They needed to see you at 2:00.
- What? It's 6:00!

311
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,659
Look! I wrote it!
I wrote it on the board!

312
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,745
I wrote it on the board,
then went looking all over for you!

313
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,664
I went to Ross's, the coffee house.

314
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,667
I went to any place
that they make sandwiches!

315
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,171
- I can't believe this, Chandler!
- I'm sorry.

316
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,214
I don't know what to say!

317
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,885
You might say, "Congratulations."

318
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:42,930
I saw the board, I went to the audition,
I got the part!

319
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,267
Was that supposed to be funny?
I was worried over here.

320
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,313
- I'm sorry.
- At times that fake-out thing is mean.

321
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,940
Okay, man. I'm sorry.
I did not mean to make you feel bad.

322
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,734
Well, that's good.

323
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,112
Because you didn't.
And I'm incredibly happy for you!

324
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,448
That's mean!

325
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,911
- You had me going there!
- We could do this all day.

326
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,621
Yeah, you're right.

327
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,041
Look, let's talk about
what a huge star I'm gonna be.

328
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,418
You are gonna be a huge star.
I'm gonna hug you.

329
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,253
- You hug me.
- All right.

330
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,256
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

331
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,160
- Do we do this too much?
- I think so.

332
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,329
- Yeah. Get off me.
- Yeah.

333
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,881
"Come on, C.H.E.E.S.E.,
I'm not leaving without you.

334
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,218
Try routing your backup power source
through your primary CPU."

335
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:07,014
"I can't! My circuits are fried!
They're fried, I tell you!"

336
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,643
Wow.

337
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,312
"Well, then I'll just have to carry you."

338
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,481
"That'll be a neat trick...

339
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,318
...when you're dead!"

340
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,071
Ross, you don't have to yell.

341
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:26,367
There was just an explosion, okay?
My hearing would be impaired.

342
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,911
I thought you were excellent.

343
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:32,081
In fact, for a minute there, I was like,
"Ooh, where did Ross go?"

344
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,003
Thank you. And I have to say
that first scene where you meet Mac...

345
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,297
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God. I mean...

346
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,589
You know what?

347
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,843
I think that's enough for today.
Thanks for your help.

348
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,556
- Holding us back.
- Totally.

349
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,270
[English - US - SDH]