1
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,920
Chandler! Chandler!

2
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,884
I saw what you were doing
through the window.

3
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,179
I saw what you were doing to my sister,
now, get out here!

4
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,683
Well, listen, we had a good run.

5
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768
You know? What was it?
Four, five months?

6
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,104
I mean, that's more than most people
have in a lifetime.

7
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,648
So goodbye, take care, bye-bye then.

8
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:28,527
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I'm going on the lam.

9
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,655
Come on, Chandler. Come on.
I can handle Ross.

10
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,741
Hold on.

11
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,454
Hey, Ross. What's up, bro?

12
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,668
What the hell are you doing?

13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,919
Hey, what's going on?

14
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:50,174
Well, I think... I think Ross knows
about me and Monica.

15
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,927
Dude, he's right there.

16
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:59,224
I thought you were my best friend.
This is my sister.

17
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,478
My best friend and my sister.
I cannot believe this.

18
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,482
We're not just messing around.
I love her.

19
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,442
Okay? I'm in love with her.

20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,529
I'm so sorry that you
had to find out this way.

21
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:16,784
I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too.

22
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,709
My best friend and my sister.

23
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,006
I cannot believe this.

24
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,762
You guys want to probably get
some hugs in too, huh? Big news.

25
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:40,265
Oh, no, that's okay.
We've actually known for a while.

26
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,939
What? What? You guys knew?

27
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,775
You all knew and
you didn't tell me?

28
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,653
Well, Ross, we were worried
about you, okay?

29
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,488
We didn't know how you were
going to react.

30
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,156
JOEY:
Mm-mm.

31
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:01,120
You were worried about me?

32
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,705
You didn't know how I was gonna react?

33
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,169
Okay. All right. Whew.

34
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,171
What do you say we all, uh,
clear out of here...

35
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,216
...and let these two love birds
get back down to business.

36
00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,430
Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here.
He's the one doing your sister.

37
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,142
Hey, you know what I just realized?

38
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:08,228
- If you guys ever have kids...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're having kids?

39
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,730
I call godfather.

40
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,651
You can't just call godfather.

41
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,779
Don't you think her brother
should be godfather?

42
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,407
Sure. If you cared enough to call it first.

43
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:26,330
- Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us.
- Yeah, big zero-gravity moon steps.

44
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,666
Oh, oh, I just thought of
the greatest wedding gift to get you.

45
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,544
Oh, I'll go in on that with you.
I couldn't think of anything.

46
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,465
Hey, Katie.

47
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,050
- Hey, everyone, this is Katie.
- Hi.

48
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,593
ALL: Hi.
JOEY: You ready to go?

49
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,678
- Yeah, just gotta run to the bathroom.
- Sure.

50
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,973
- Hey, where are we going to lunch?
- I was thinking maybe Chinese food.

51
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,600
I love Chinese.

52
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,478
How did you know I love Chinese?

53
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,355
[JOEY CHUCKLES]

54
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,608
She is so cute.

55
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,860
You could fit her
right in your little pocket.

56
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:02,407
I don't know. I mean, I like her a lot,
and she's really nice, but...

57
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,201
But what?

58
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,829
She keeps punching me.

59
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,709
In the cute little, sweet way she just did?

60
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,545
Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks, okay?

61
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,091
She's hurting me.

62
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,302
I know what you need.
You need a bodyguard.

63
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,513
Hey, Ross, what is Ben doing
after preschool?

64
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,598
[ALL CHUCKLE]

65
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:31,019
Okay, come on, Joey is having a problem.
There's a little girl who's beating him up.

66
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,939
Aw, Joey, come here. Look.

67
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,567
Honey, I know. This must be
really, really difficult for you, and...

68
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,486
Oh, I'm sorry, am I hurting you?

69
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,618
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

70
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:50,998
- Hey.
- Hey.

71
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,333
- I brought you some housewarming gifts.
- Oh.

72
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,545
- Salt, so your life always has flavor.
- Ah.

73
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,464
- Bread, so you never go hungry.
- Oh.

74
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,509
And a scented candle for the bathroom.

75
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,344
Because, well, you know.

76
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:09,766
Well, thanks. Thanks.
And thanks, I guess.

77
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:15,522
Hi. Welcome to the building. I'm Steve Cera,
President of the tenants' committee.

78
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:18,608
Oh, hi. Ross Geller.
And, uh, this is my friend Phoebe.

79
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,403
- Hi, Phoebe.
- Mr. President.

80
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,906
I, uh, came to talk to you about Howard.

81
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,199
Howard?

82
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,827
Yeah, he's the handyman.
He's gonna be retiring next week...

83
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,455
...and everyone who lives here is kicking in
a hundred bucks...

84
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,999
...as a "thank you for all the hard work"
type of thing.

85
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,625
- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.

86
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,294
So you want to give me a check, or?

87
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,381
Oh, uh...

88
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,176
You don't have to give it to me now.
You can slip it under my door.

89
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,972
No, no, it's not that. It's just...
I just moved in.

90
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,060
Well, the guy's worked here
for 25 years.

91
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,854
Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.

92
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,358
Oh.

93
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,777
Okay, I get it.

94
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:06,823
Wait. Look, I'm sorry, it's just
I've never even met Howard.

95
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,409
I mean, I don't know Howard.

96
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,329
Howard's the handyman.

97
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:17,250
Yes, but to me he's just "man."

98
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,879
Okay. Fine. Whatever.

99
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,590
Welcome to the building.

100
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,009
[SCOFFS]

101
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,178
Can you believe that guy?

102
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,889
Yeah. I really like his glasses.

103
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,689
So then President Steve
told everyone I was a cheapskate...

104
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,942
...and now the whole building hates me.

105
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,653
A little kid spit on my knee.

106
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:50,242
You know what? I'm gonna throw a party.
That's right, for everyone in the building.

107
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:54,413
And I'm gonna sit them all down and
explain to them that I am not a bad guy.

108
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,165
I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy...

109
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,960
...who stands up for what he believes in.

110
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,671
A man with principles.

111
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,881
- Sounds like a fun party.
RACHEL: Mm.

112
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,136
Look, Ross, if you want
your neighbors to like you...

113
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,012
...why don't you just pay
the hundred bucks?

114
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,599
- A party's gonna cost you way more.
- That doesn't matter.

115
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:18,145
It's my principles.
We're talking about my principles.

116
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,773
Okay, I thought it was about
your neighbors liking you.

117
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,861
Oh, they'll like me once they come
to my awesome par-tay.

118
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,574
Okay, I gotta run.
I gotta go get some nametags.

119
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:32,909
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

120
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,913
And that crazy party animal
will be your brother-in-law.

121
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,168
Very, very funny. But don't say things
like that in from of Monica.

122
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,462
I don't want you putting any ideas
in her head.

123
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,131
Um, Chandler, you do realize
that those ideas...

124
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,425
...are probably already in Monica's head?

125
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,552
Why?

126
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:55,724
Well, because she loves you
and because you love her.

127
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,310
Yeah, so? What's
that supposed to mean?

128
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:03,106
Hey, Chandler, don't freak out. I'm
telling you something you already know.

129
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,443
Come on. She broke up with Richard
because he didn't want to have babies.

130
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:11,490
And she's a woman, and she's almost 30,
and, you know, it's Monica.

131
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,409
I don't see it that way. Okay?
I see two Monicas:

132
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,288
The one that was my friend who lives
across the hall and wanted a lot of babies.

133
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:24,753
And the new Monica who I started to date.
Now, who is to say what she wants?

134
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,299
I'm right. I'm right. Am I right?

135
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,761
Yeah, you're right.

136
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,764
You are absolutely right.
I mean, that makes everything different.

137
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,516
Okay.

138
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,309
It's not different, is it?

139
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,728
Not unless "different" means the same.

140
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:47,901
You were so funny with that waiter.
You're such a nut.

141
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,743
You know, breadstick fangs
are always funny.

142
00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,080
No, you make them funny.
You're the funny one.

143
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,044
Uh, look, Katie, uh, listen,
we need to talk, okay?

144
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:11,383
Um, look, I like you.
I really do. I like you a lot, okay?

145
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,011
But sometimes when you
playfully punch me like that...

146
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:20,392
...it feels like someone's hitting me
with a very tiny, but a very real bat.

147
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:25,105
Oh. Like I could hurt you.

148
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,024
- Are you making fun of my size?
- No.

149
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,361
Don't make fun of me because of my size.

150
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,202
- Isn't this great?
- Mm.

151
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,913
Couldn't you just stay like this forever?

152
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,376
Chandler?

153
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,753
Couldn't you just stay here forever?

154
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:52,757
Yeah, here, somewhere else.
You know, wherever. Ha, ha.

155
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,678
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm cool.

156
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,346
Casual.

157
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,599
What are you doing?

158
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:05,353
Just hanging out. Having fun, you know,
uh, with the girl that I'm seeing casually.

159
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,774
Man, I knew it.
I knew you were going to do this.

160
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,151
What?

161
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,613
Get all freaked out because everybody
was joking around about marriage.

162
00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:18,283
Well, you do want all that stuff, right?

163
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,951
And you know what I want?

164
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:23,121
Yes. You want babies.
You have baby fever.

165
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,333
I do not have baby fever.

166
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:29,461
Oh, please. You are obsessed
with babies and marriage...

167
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,840
...and everything that's
related to babies and marriage.

168
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:38,094
You know what? Why don't we turn
the heat down on this pressure cooker?

169
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,348
Have you lost your mind?

170
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,766
Chandler, this isn't about me.

171
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,810
This is about you and all your weird
relationship commitment crap.

172
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:50,523
Uh-uh. I know you, okay? I know the
thoughts that you have in your head.

173
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,859
Well, you don't know everything.

174
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,613
Did you know I'm going out with Rachel
tonight instead of you? Hmm?

175
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,907
And that the only baby around here
is you?

176
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,202
And did you know I can't even
look at you right now?

177
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:05,914
Yeah, well, I did not know that.

178
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,589
It's gonna be okay, right? I mean,
she's not gonna leave me. This is fixable.

179
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,841
- Yeah, sure.
- Absolutely.

180
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,386
- By me?
- Oh, no, no, no.

181
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,391
Well, unless you make
some kind of big gesture.

182
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,600
JOEY:
Yeah, big, though.

183
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,395
Shh. The missus.

184
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,607
MONICA:
Gunther, can I get a coffee?

185
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,734
To go.

186
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,611
CHANDLER:
Monica...

187
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,571
I'm still not done
not wanting to talk to you.

188
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,074
Just tell me what I need to do
to make things right.

189
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,076
- What?
- That's what we do.

190
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,413
I mess up, you tell me
how to fix it and I do.

191
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,082
And then, you know,
you think I'm all cute again.

192
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,712
I'm really tired of being
your relationship tutor.

193
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,880
You're gonna have to
figure this out for yourself.

194
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,718
You know what? If you're too afraid
to be in a real relationship...

195
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,803
...then don't be in one.

196
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,565
[FATBOY SLIM'S "FUNK SOUL BROTHER"
PLAYING ON STEREO]

197
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,109
Right about now
Funk soul brother

198
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,279
Check it out now
Funk soul brother

199
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:38,423
Right about now
Funk soul brother

200
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,632
[MUSIC STOPS]

201
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,554
NEIGHBORS [CHANTING]:
Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard!

202
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,933
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]

203
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,980
Phoebe. Phoebe.

204
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,316
Oh, hi, Ross.

205
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,942
[ALL CHEERING]

206
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,611
What are you doing here?

207
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,531
Oh, I thought this was your party,
and it turns out it's a party for Howard.

208
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,742
He's the sweetest little man.

209
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,829
See you, Phoebe.
Oh, and, hey, thanks for chipping in.

210
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,456
Oh, sure.

211
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,875
You chipped in?

212
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,627
Yeah, uh-huh, hundred dollars.

213
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,755
Phoebe, I can't believe
you gave him money.

214
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:23,218
I thought you agreed it was unreasonable
that they asked me for that money.

215
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,094
Yeah, but they didn't ask me, you know?

216
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,722
This way I'm just, you know,
the exotic, generous stranger.

217
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,599
That's always fun to be.

218
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,435
Yeah, but you're making me look bad.

219
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,772
No, I'm not. No, if anything,
I'm making you look better.

220
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:39,400
They'll see you talking to me,
and I'm a hit.

221
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,111
- Hey, Pheebs.
- Hey.

222
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,863
Oh, hey, Ross.

223
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,491
Um, say, I was thinking
maybe you two could switch apartments.

224
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,369
Because Phoebe is more
our kind of people.

225
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:50,829
Something to think about it.

226
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,292
Yeah, okay, my bad.

227
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,304
JOEY: Hey.
- Hi.

228
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,644
Wow. You look big.

229
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,355
Thanks, I've been working out.

230
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,900
Hey, listen, is it obvious
I'm wearing six sweaters?

231
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,986
Uh, yeah.

232
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,905
But it's not obvious why.

233
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,784
Well, look, I'm breaking up with Katie,
so I had to put on some extra padding.

234
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,161
You know, I mean,
if she hits me when she's happy...

235
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,247
...can you imagine how hard
she's gonna hit me...

236
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,958
...when I tell her I'm taking away
the Joey love?

237
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:40,670
JOEY:
Hey.

238
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,299
Hey. Hey, cute jacket.

239
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,092
Oh, thanks.

240
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,469
- That's so sweet.
- Whoa. Ow.

241
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,971
[RACHEL CHUCKLES]

242
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,181
Oh, "Ow."

243
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:55,393
Did Joey tell you to say that?
You guys are too much.

244
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,521
Whoa. Ha, ha.

245
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,190
You know what? I gotta tell you...

246
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,484
...I think you're the one that is too much.

247
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:04,903
[KATIE CHUCKLES]

248
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,656
Joey has the nicest friends.

249
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,910
And the nicest girlfriend.

250
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,330
You're so sweet.

251
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,042
- You're so sweet.
- Ow!

252
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,590
KATIE:
Joey?

253
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,842
She just kicked me.

254
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,677
Huh.

255
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,224
Well, aren't you gonna do something?

256
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,601
Uh...

257
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,520
You better do something or I'm gonna
walk out that door right now.

258
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,483
Well, are you gonna?

259
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,319
Nah.

260
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,623
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

261
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,502
- Phoebe?
- Ha, ha. That's what I was saying.

262
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,629
Phoebe? Phoebe?

263
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,841
This is a disaster.
Can't I please just go?

264
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,843
I'm talking you up to people.

265
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,721
Just give it a little time, all right? Relax.
Get something to eat.

266
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,311
So, uh, what did you tell them about me?

267
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,065
Um, I told them about you and Emily.
You know, trying to get some sympathy.

268
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,401
But somehow you came off
as the bad guy.

269
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,737
- What?
- Yeah, I think I told it wrong.

270
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,448
We should talk about that...

271
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:35,618
...because I don't totally understand
what happened there.

272
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,706
Oh. This cake is really good.

273
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,083
Okay, see?
Things are looking up already.

274
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,462
Oh, my God.
Someone cut Howard's cake.

275
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,719
Who would do a thing like that?

276
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,767
3-B.

277
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,394
[ALL GRUMBLING]

278
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:05,023
Okay, you got your free food,
you ruined everyone's fun.

279
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,609
- Don't you think it's time you went home?
ALL: Yeah.

280
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,821
Yeah, go back to 3-B, 3-B.

281
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,657
All right, everyone, calm down.
Everyone, calm down.

282
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,784
I have something that I would like to say.

283
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,205
Who here likes Ross?

284
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,962
Of course you don't like him.

285
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,964
He didn't give you any money.

286
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,843
He raised his own hand when I asked,
"Who here likes Ross?"

287
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,970
And he's wearing two nametags.

288
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:43,269
I'll be honest with you guys. When I first
met Ross, I didn't like him at all.

289
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,858
But then once I got to know him,
I saw that he's really sweet...

290
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:52,487
...and caring and very generous.

291
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,532
I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross
before you get to know him, all right?

292
00:17:56,784 --> 00:18:01,704
You know, I like all of you guys now.
But when I first met you, you know...

293
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,207
Kurt? I thought, you know, abrasive drunk.

294
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:10,004
Um, Lola, mind-numbingly stupid.

295
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:16,052
And, okay, you guys:
Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv.

296
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,974
So I think you all know what I mean.

297
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,067
Obviously, I didn't think
they were gonna start throwing things.

298
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,155
I just thought if I kept insulting them
you would jump in and defend everyone.

299
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,366
Then you could look like the hero.

300
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:40,993
Oh, wow, yeah.

301
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:42,995
See, I did not get that.

302
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,545
Where's Monica? Where is she? I need
to talk to her, it's urgent. Is she here?

303
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,924
- I'm Monica.
- I need to talk to you. It's urgent.

304
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,635
- Okay.
- Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking...

305
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:01,639
...about us. You know,
a lot of, uh, "us" thinking.

306
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:06,352
And, uh, well, I guess there's
only one way to do this.

307
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,900
- Wait, wait. What are you doing?
- Monica...

308
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,402
No, no, no. Don't do it.

309
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,195
Will you marry me?

310
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,535
ROSS: Oh, no, no, no.
JOEY: What a bad idea.

311
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,745
Oh, I can't not look at it.

312
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,708
Chandler, why are you doing this?

313
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,376
I don't know.

314
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,462
But I know I'm not afraid to do this.

315
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,548
Chandler.

316
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,176
I'm doing this because I'm sorry?

317
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:44,807
Do you, um, really think the best reason
to get married is because you're sorry?

318
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,768
Oh, no, the best reason to get married
is pregnancy.

319
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:54,650
Sorry is pretty much fourth, behind being
ready and actually wanting to get married.

320
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:55,943
[CHUCKLES]

321
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,029
Will you be my wife?

322
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,742
Chandler, um,
I want you to take just a minute...

323
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,078
...and I want you to think about
how ridiculous this sounds.

324
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,960
Yeah, I'm kind of wishing
everyone wasn't here right now.

325
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,340
You know that none of that stuff
came from me.

326
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,135
I mean, I never said that I wanted
to have babies and get married right now.

327
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,597
Yeah, I know, I was really confused,
and then I talked to these guys.

328
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,141
Who? Two divorces and Joey?

329
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,645
- Hey.
- She's right, you know.

330
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,233
Yeah, but still, cheap shot.

331
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,862
You know when I said that I want you...

332
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,199
...to deal with relationship stuff
all on your own?

333
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:47,495
- Well, you're not ready for that.
- I didn't think I was.

334
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,376
Oh, my God.

335
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:56,212
What would you have done
if I had said yes?

336
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,381
Well, I would've been happy because...

337
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:02,343
...I would have been able spend
the rest of my life with the woman I love.

338
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,889
Or you would have seen
a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.

339
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,440
- Hey, Ross, will you pass me that knife?
- No, I will not.

340
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,985
It's okay.
You don't have to be so mean about it.

341
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:22,196
You're right. I'm sorry.
Will you marry me?

342
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:27,785
Oh, and I was going to ask you
to marry me...

343
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,496
...because I forgot to say hello to you
last week.

344
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,165
Oh, no, wait, Pheebs.
I think with something like that...

345
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,210
...you just ask them to move in with you.
But I'm not sure. Chandler?

346
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,254
Ha, ha, okay,
how long is this gonna go on?

347
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,506
Well, I think the length of teasing...

348
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,342
...is directly related
to how insane you were.

349
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,094
So a long time.

350
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:49,557
This is fun. Oh, hey, Rach, remember
that whole "we were on a break" thing?

351
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,767
Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me?

352
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,103
[ROSS LAUGHS]

353
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,483
ALL:
That's not funny.

354
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,742
[English - US - SDH]