1
00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:07,162
- Hi.
- Hey.

2
00:00:07,328 --> 00:00:10,832
So, what's the final head count
on my baby shower?

3
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,835
About 20. A couple people from work
who had something else to do.

4
00:00:14,002 --> 00:00:16,004
Also, your sisters called,
neither can make it.

5
00:00:16,171 --> 00:00:18,840
What? You mean they're not coming
to a social event...

6
00:00:19,007 --> 00:00:22,177
...where there's no men and no booze?
That's shocking.

7
00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:25,430
Well, I don't care.
As long as my mom's here.

8
00:00:25,847 --> 00:00:29,601
- Oh, my God. Your mother.
- What, my mom's not gonna be here?

9
00:00:29,809 --> 00:00:31,728
Well, given that we forgot to invite her...

10
00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:34,439
...it would be an awfully big coincidence
if she was.

11
00:00:34,856 --> 00:00:36,858
Oh, my God.

12
00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:39,861
Well, it wasn't my fault.
Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.

13
00:00:40,028 --> 00:00:42,739
Well, I don't have a mother.
So often I forget other people--

14
00:00:42,947 --> 00:00:44,782
Oh, give it a rest.

15
00:00:45,575 --> 00:00:48,203
So my mother is not coming
to my baby shower?

16
00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:50,246
No.

17
00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:51,706
Neither is mine.

18
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,502
You know what? Don't worry.

19
00:00:55,668 --> 00:00:58,463
Okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her.
You go home and get ready.

20
00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:01,925
Please make sure she comes.
It's really important to me. It's my mom.

21
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:05,220
- I know. What's her number?
- I don't know.

22
00:01:05,428 --> 00:01:08,431
Go. I have it in my book. Go.

23
00:01:14,062 --> 00:01:17,982
Wait a minute. If you're in charge
of invitations, why am I calling her?

24
00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:21,236
Hello, Mrs. Green.
Hi, uh, it's Monica Geller.

25
00:01:21,444 --> 00:01:23,071
- Oh, hello, Monica.
MONICA: Hi.

26
00:01:23,279 --> 00:01:27,158
Um, I know this is last-minute, but we've
decided to throw an impromptu...

27
00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:31,287
-...baby shower for Rachel today.
- I know. My daughters told me about it...

28
00:01:31,454 --> 00:01:34,499
...when they received their impromptu
invitations a month ago.

29
00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:39,921
- Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
SANDRA: For what, <i>dear?</i>

30
00:01:40,088 --> 00:01:42,215
For not inviting me,
or for lying about it?

31
00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:46,135
Oh, my God. My ass is sweating.

32
00:01:48,096 --> 00:01:51,558
Please, please, can you come?
It's today at 4.

33
00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:56,938
- Well, all right. I'll see you at 4.
- Thank you.

34
00:01:57,146 --> 00:02:00,567
- Isn't it at 3?
- Son of a bitch.

35
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:40,815
[DOOR OPENS]

36
00:02:40,982 --> 00:02:42,817
- Hey, Joe. Wanna shoot some hoops?
JOEY: Hey.

37
00:02:43,109 --> 00:02:47,196
No, I can't go, I'm practicing. I got an
audition to be the host of a game show.

38
00:02:47,363 --> 00:02:48,448
- Cool.
- Great.

39
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:51,784
Yeah, and if I get it, by day,
I'll be Dr. Drake Ramoray.

40
00:02:51,951 --> 00:02:55,997
[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE]
But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani.

41
00:02:56,623 --> 00:03:00,251
You'll be perfect for this.
That's already your name.

42
00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:04,047
The audition's in a couple hours,
and I don't even understand the game.

43
00:03:04,339 --> 00:03:05,673
Do you want some help?

44
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,676
Oh, really? That'd be great.
Hey, you guys can be the contestants.

45
00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:10,511
Awesome.

46
00:03:10,678 --> 00:03:14,140
Okay, I guess we can lose
to junior-high girls some other time.

47
00:03:14,682 --> 00:03:18,478
- All right. Let's play Bamboozled.
- Bamboozled?

48
00:03:18,686 --> 00:03:19,687
Isn't that a cool name?

49
00:03:19,896 --> 00:03:20,980
ROSS: Yeah.
CHANDLER: No.

50
00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:25,568
All right. Uh, okay.
Our first contestant is Ross Geller.

51
00:03:25,777 --> 00:03:28,321
Why don't you tell us a little bit
about yourself, Ross?

52
00:03:28,488 --> 00:03:32,867
Well, uh, I'm a paleontologist.
Um, I live in New York.

53
00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:37,914
I have a son, Ben. Uh, hi, Ben. And, uh--

54
00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:41,542
I said a little bit, Ross.
Now, how about you, Chandler?

55
00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:45,588
Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter.
I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists...

56
00:03:45,755 --> 00:03:49,217
...with rogue Third World nations.
Hi, Rasputin.

57
00:03:49,425 --> 00:03:53,096
Excellent. Let's play Bamboozled.
Chandler, you'll go first.

58
00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:56,099
- What is the capital of Colombia?
- Bogoté.

59
00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:58,601
It's Bogoda, but close enough.

60
00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:04,941
Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross
or pick a Wicked Wango Card.

61
00:04:05,191 --> 00:04:09,237
- What does a Wicked Wango Card do?
- I should know that.

62
00:04:10,405 --> 00:04:12,740
Let's see.
Just one moment, please, um...

63
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:19,205
Here we are. A Wicked Wango Card
determines whether you go higher or lower.

64
00:04:19,372 --> 00:04:21,708
Higher or lower than what?

65
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:27,213
- This is embarrassing.
- Can you believe how lame this is?

66
00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:32,760
I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants
are allowed to talk to each other.

67
00:04:35,888 --> 00:04:39,434
Oh, I told the stripper to be here at 5.
That's good, right?

68
00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:44,939
You ordered a stripper for the shower?
That is totally inappropriate.

69
00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,024
Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.

70
00:04:49,110 --> 00:04:52,780
Oh, hi, Mrs. Green.
I'm so glad you could make it.

71
00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:55,324
Yes, thank you so much.
And again, we're so sorry.

72
00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:57,118
We could not feel worse about it.

73
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,454
Try.

74
00:05:00,663 --> 00:05:02,457
There's my little girl.

75
00:05:03,124 --> 00:05:05,293
- She's still mad.
- Yeah, I know.

76
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:08,504
Isn't it great? One less person
we have to make small talk with.

77
00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:12,967
Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too.
It doesn't bother you?

78
00:05:13,134 --> 00:05:17,138
Look, we've apologized twice.
I can't do any more than that.

79
00:05:17,305 --> 00:05:19,807
I know you hate it when people
are mad at you...

80
00:05:19,974 --> 00:05:23,102
...but, you know,
you just have to be okay with it.

81
00:05:23,269 --> 00:05:26,606
Okay. I can do that. Heh.

82
00:05:26,773 --> 00:05:30,026
- I gotta go powder my ass.
- Oh.

83
00:05:30,318 --> 00:05:33,321
Look at that face.
Just like when you were in high school.

84
00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:37,950
If I didn't know better,
I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.

85
00:05:38,117 --> 00:05:39,660
- Come on, let's get some tea.
- Okay.

86
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:43,164
Ooh, my. Look at that.
Only three weeks to go.

87
00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:44,832
Now, have you picked your nanny yet?

88
00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:46,876
I don't want you to just use
your housekeeper...

89
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:48,544
...because it'll just split her focus.

90
00:05:48,711 --> 00:05:52,840
Oh. Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny.
And, uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.

91
00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:54,967
It's like you're a cave person.

92
00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:58,679
Rachel, you must get a nanny.

93
00:05:58,846 --> 00:06:01,098
You don't know how overwhelming
this is gonna be.

94
00:06:01,265 --> 00:06:04,477
When you were a baby,
I had full-time help. I had Mrs. K.

95
00:06:04,644 --> 00:06:08,648
Mrs. K. Oh, yeah, she was sweet.
She taught me Spanish.

96
00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:11,526
I actually think
I remember some of it:

97
00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:15,196
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

98
00:06:16,489 --> 00:06:19,200
- Such a sweet woman.
- Yeah.

99
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:22,370
Well, however great she was,
I just can't afford that.

100
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,205
- Oh, Rachel.
- What?

101
00:06:24,372 --> 00:06:28,209
I just had the greatest idea.
I'm gonna come live with you.

102
00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:31,003
What? What?

103
00:06:31,212 --> 00:06:34,674
Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna
do this for my little girl.

104
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:39,512
Aw, look at you.
You have tears in your eyes.

105
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:43,850
Yes, yes, I do.

106
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:46,978
All right, Ross, you're in the lead.

107
00:06:47,186 --> 00:06:50,481
Would you like to take another question,
or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

108
00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:54,402
The Wheel has not been
my friend tonight, Joey. Uh...

109
00:06:54,569 --> 00:06:56,404
I'll take another question.

110
00:06:56,612 --> 00:06:59,031
Okay. This is gonna be tough.
Hold your breath.

111
00:06:59,198 --> 00:07:00,658
It's okay. I'm ready.

112
00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:03,911
No, dude, you gotta hold your breath
till you're ready to answer the question.

113
00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:07,081
-It's part of the game.
- This is ridiculous. He's not gonna hold--

114
00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:14,714
Okay. What do you have a fear of
if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...

115
00:07:14,881 --> 00:07:18,968
Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris...

116
00:07:19,135 --> 00:07:21,596
Seriously, look at this thing, Chandler.
How do you say that?

117
00:07:21,762 --> 00:07:23,431
- Let me see that.
- This one right here.

118
00:07:23,598 --> 00:07:24,891
[WHIMPERS]

119
00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:28,769
- Triskaidekaphobia.
- Fear of Triscuits.

120
00:07:28,936 --> 00:07:33,316
- No. No. Fear of the number 13.
- Fear of Triscuits?

121
00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:36,944
It's possible.
They have really sharp edges.

122
00:07:38,321 --> 00:07:39,780
All right, Chandler, you're up.

123
00:07:40,031 --> 00:07:43,618
Wait a minute. I believe I'm entitled
to use my Angel Pass for a free turn.

124
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:48,122
- This game makes no sense.
- You're just upset because you're losing.

125
00:07:48,289 --> 00:07:50,875
Oh, come on, Ross.
I think we're all losers here.

126
00:07:52,919 --> 00:07:56,672
All right. Chandler, you can either
spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.

127
00:07:56,839 --> 00:08:00,468
Let me think, let me think.
Oh, uh, I don't care.

128
00:08:02,428 --> 00:08:04,096
You must choose, Mr. Bing.

129
00:08:04,263 --> 00:08:08,643
- Either. It makes no difference.
- Choose, you jackass.

130
00:08:09,644 --> 00:08:13,272
- I'll take a card.
- Okay, you picked the Gimme Card.

131
00:08:13,439 --> 00:08:16,567
- You get all of Ross' points.
- What?

132
00:08:17,318 --> 00:08:18,986
This game is kind of fun.

133
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:23,282
You don't think it's a little crazy
that you get all my points--?

134
00:08:23,491 --> 00:08:26,869
I don't think the contestants
are supposed to speak to each other.

135
00:08:29,664 --> 00:08:33,125
- Why did you invite my mother?
MONICA: What?

136
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:36,587
She wants to move in with me and Ross
to help take care of the baby.

137
00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:39,173
- For how long?
- Eight weeks.

138
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:43,094
I mean, I love my mother, but, my God,
a long lunch with her is taxing.

139
00:08:44,095 --> 00:08:47,098
I personally would be honored
if she wanted to live with me.

140
00:08:47,306 --> 00:08:48,349
She can't hear you.

141
00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:52,687
You guys, come on.
What am I gonna do?

142
00:08:52,853 --> 00:08:56,065
If you don't want your mother
to move in with you, just tell her.

143
00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:59,860
You're right. You're right.
I'm about to have a baby.

144
00:09:00,027 --> 00:09:03,197
I can tell my mother that I don't want her
to be sleeping on my couch.

145
00:09:03,364 --> 00:09:06,701
Oh, my God. She's gonna wanna sleep
in my bed with me. This cannot happen.

146
00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:07,994
That's right. That is right.

147
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,163
You go over there and tell her
you do not want her to live with you.

148
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,624
- Do not take no for an answer.
- Okay.

149
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:18,462
This is great.
Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel.

150
00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:23,718
And I'm just gonna swoop in there
and be like the daughter she never had.

151
00:09:25,136 --> 00:09:27,263
I have new respect for Chandler.

152
00:09:29,765 --> 00:09:34,061
PHOEBE: All right, everybody.
It's time to open the presents.

153
00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:37,231
Yes, and I think that the first gift
that Rachel opens...

154
00:09:37,398 --> 00:09:39,859
...should be from the grandmother
of the baby.

155
00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:44,405
Because you're the most important person
in this room. And in the world.

156
00:09:46,407 --> 00:09:49,827
Well, um, I don't have a gift because
I wasn't invited until the last minute.

157
00:09:49,994 --> 00:09:54,206
But thank you so much, dear,
for bringing that to everybody's attention.

158
00:09:56,751 --> 00:10:00,629
How about you less important people?
Let's open your presents.

159
00:10:02,256 --> 00:10:06,218
- Mom, it's okay that you didn't get a gift.
- Well, I kind of did.

160
00:10:06,385 --> 00:10:08,721
- Me. Eight weeks of me.
- Yeah.

161
00:10:08,888 --> 00:10:12,725
Okay. See, Mom, the truth is,
I can do this on my own.

162
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:15,644
Sweetheart, I know you're gonna be
a terrific mom.

163
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:18,856
I just think you need a little help,
especially at the beginning.

164
00:10:19,023 --> 00:10:21,609
But, Mom, I really know what I'm doing.
I can handle this.

165
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:23,611
Really? Remember Twinkles?

166
00:10:23,819 --> 00:10:27,782
He was a hamster.
I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby.

167
00:10:27,948 --> 00:10:31,285
Okay, come on, Rach.
It's present time.

168
00:10:31,452 --> 00:10:34,455
You know, you're the glue
holding this whole party together.

169
00:10:34,622 --> 00:10:36,999
It's kind of falling apart here.

170
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,377
- Ooh, look.
RACHEL: Wow.

171
00:10:40,544 --> 00:10:42,254
This is from your friends at work.

172
00:10:42,421 --> 00:10:48,094
Ooh, my gosh. Oh, wow.
Oh, I know what this is.

173
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:50,096
Wait a minute.

174
00:10:50,262 --> 00:10:53,224
That can't be right.

175
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:56,435
Is that a beer bong for a baby?

176
00:10:57,978 --> 00:11:00,314
Darling, that's a breast pump.

177
00:11:00,815 --> 00:11:07,279
Heh. Did I say I was done guessing?
Okay, thank you for that.

178
00:11:07,488 --> 00:11:10,032
Ooh, wow. What's this?

179
00:11:10,282 --> 00:11:13,828
- It's a Diaper Genie.
- Oh, it dispenses clean diapers.

180
00:11:13,994 --> 00:11:15,955
No, it's where you put dirty ones.

181
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:20,167
Well, that's gross. Why don't you just
take it outside and throw it in a Dumpster?

182
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:25,339
- You're gonna do that 10 times a day?
- What, it goes 10 times a day?

183
00:11:25,506 --> 00:11:28,050
What are we feeding this baby,
Indian food?

184
00:11:28,676 --> 00:11:31,387
No, dear. That's what babies do.

185
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,890
Rachel, listen to your mother.
She is very smart.

186
00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:41,897
Plus, what are you planning on doing with
the baby while you trot out to the garbage?

187
00:11:42,523 --> 00:11:44,900
I don't know,
I'd leave it on the changing table?

188
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:46,152
[ALL GASP]

189
00:11:46,318 --> 00:11:50,364
- What? What did I do? What did I do?
- You can't leave a baby alone.

190
00:11:51,490 --> 00:11:53,200
Of course, I know that.

191
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:56,245
I mean, of course you never
leave a baby alone. Ha, ha.

192
00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:58,873
I mean, it would--
She wouldn't be safe.

193
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:03,210
You know, not as safe as she would be
with me, the baby dummy. Ha, ha.

194
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:07,298
Okay, you know what? Opening the
presents is a little overwhelming right now.

195
00:12:07,464 --> 00:12:10,843
So I think, um, I'm just gonna maybe
open them all a little bit later.

196
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,554
But thank you all for coming,
and for these beautiful gifts...

197
00:12:13,721 --> 00:12:17,850
-...and this basket is beautiful.
- It's actually a bassinet.

198
00:12:19,393 --> 00:12:22,563
Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.

199
00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:28,611
In what John Huston film
would you hear this line:

200
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:30,696
"Badges? We don't need
no stinking badges."

201
00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:32,448
<i>- Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
- Correct.</i>

202
00:12:32,615 --> 00:12:34,033
There's a possible Backwards Bonus.

203
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,578
<i>- Madre Sierra the of Treasure.
- Yes.</i>

204
00:12:37,995 --> 00:12:40,706
I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance
to the Golden Mud Hut, please.

205
00:12:40,873 --> 00:12:42,208
- Wise choice. How many rungs?
- Six.

206
00:12:42,374 --> 00:12:44,418
[MIMICS MONKEY GIBBERING]

207
00:12:44,585 --> 00:12:49,006
- That noise can only mean one thing.
ROSS <i>&</i> CHANDLER: Hungry Monkey.

208
00:12:49,423 --> 00:12:53,219
- I'd like a Wicked Wango Card.
- Okay. It's an audio question.

209
00:12:53,385 --> 00:12:55,930
Name this television theme song:

210
00:12:56,096 --> 00:12:58,599
[HUMMING "I DREAM OF JEANNIE"
THEME sows]

211
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,602
Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I know this.
Give me a second.

212
00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:03,771
- Tell it to the Time Turtle.
- Shut up.

213
00:13:03,938 --> 00:13:06,148
- I Dream of Jeannie.
- Yes. Yes, you're back in the lead.

214
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:07,691
Uh, I'd like to spin the Wheel.

215
00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:10,027
[MIMICS WHEEL SPINNING]

216
00:13:13,948 --> 00:13:15,032
ROSS <i>&</i> CHANDLER:
Oh, come on.

217
00:13:15,199 --> 00:13:18,077
Uh, uh, Super Speedy Speed Round.

218
00:13:18,244 --> 00:13:21,038
- Is there a Hopping Bonus?
- Of course.

219
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,752
- Who invented bifocals?
- Ben Franklin.

220
00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:29,755
Correct. Which monarch
has ruled Great Britain the longest?

221
00:13:29,964 --> 00:13:31,215
- Queen Victoria.
- Correct again.

222
00:13:31,423 --> 00:13:34,969
But you forgot to switch legs between
questions. So no Hopping Bonus.

223
00:13:35,135 --> 00:13:38,013
- Oh! Every time.
- Yeah.

224
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:41,558
- Now over to Chandler.
- I'd like a Google Card.

225
00:13:42,351 --> 00:13:47,064
- Are you sure?
- Yes. No. Google.

226
00:13:48,649 --> 00:13:52,403
Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross.
Because, Chandler...

227
00:13:52,569 --> 00:13:54,738
-...you've been Bamboozled.
- No!

228
00:13:54,947 --> 00:13:59,743
- Yes!
- This is the best game ever!

229
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:03,539
So, um, you're gonna stay with me
as long as I need you?

230
00:14:03,706 --> 00:14:06,375
- Of course I am.
- Mom, I swear I'm not an idiot.

231
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:09,545
I read all kinds of books on pregnancy
and giving birth.

232
00:14:09,795 --> 00:14:14,049
But I just didn't think to read the part
about what to do when the baby comes.

233
00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:15,926
And, guess what, the baby's coming...

234
00:14:16,093 --> 00:14:19,972
...and I don't know what to do.
Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?

235
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:24,435
Oh, sweetie, you're gonna be fine.

236
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:27,855
- Wait, where you going?
- I'm going to the bathroom.

237
00:14:28,063 --> 00:14:31,734
Now, don't worry.
Everything's gonna be okay.

238
00:14:33,694 --> 00:14:35,904
It is gonna be okay.

239
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:42,202
Worth a shot.

240
00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:45,205
- Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey.

241
00:14:45,372 --> 00:14:46,957
Why are you all red and sweaty?

242
00:14:47,207 --> 00:14:49,710
I just Bamboozled Chandler.

243
00:14:52,755 --> 00:14:55,090
Which is not a sexual thing.

244
00:14:57,092 --> 00:14:59,887
- Well, that was a quick shower.
- Not if you were here.

245
00:15:01,722 --> 00:15:03,557
Wow, looks like we got
a lot of good stuff.

246
00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:06,560
We did. But my mom got us
the greatest gift of all.

247
00:15:06,769 --> 00:15:08,729
A Play-Doh Barbershop?

248
00:15:09,897 --> 00:15:14,026
No. She's going to live with us
for eight weeks.

249
00:15:14,276 --> 00:15:15,652
What?

250
00:15:15,861 --> 00:15:19,656
Yes. She's gonna help us
take care of the baby. Woo-hoo.

251
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:22,743
You're not serious.

252
00:15:22,910 --> 00:15:24,411
I mean, she's a very nice woman...

253
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:27,247
...but there's no way we can take
eight weeks of her.

254
00:15:27,414 --> 00:15:29,458
- She'll drive us totally crazy--
- Hi, Ross.

255
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:31,835
Hey, roomie.

256
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,969
Hey, Joey, hi, I'm Ray.
I'm the producer of the show.

257
00:15:41,178 --> 00:15:43,847
[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE]
It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.

258
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:47,267
And this is Duncan and Erin.
They're gonna help out with the audition.

259
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:48,769
So let's get the camera rolling.

260
00:15:48,936 --> 00:15:52,940
- Righty-0, Ray.
- Whenever you're ready.

261
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:57,694
Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Let's play Bamboozled.

262
00:15:57,903 --> 00:16:02,533
Erin, you get the first question. In hockey,
who is known as "The Great One"?

263
00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:03,951
- Wayne Gretzky.
- Correct.

264
00:16:04,159 --> 00:16:08,038
Now, would you like to pick a Wicked
Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?

265
00:16:08,288 --> 00:16:11,458
Uh, Joey, didn't your agents
give you the revised rules?

266
00:16:11,625 --> 00:16:14,711
We've eliminated all that.
No wheel. No cards.

267
00:16:14,878 --> 00:16:16,213
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
What? Why?

268
00:16:17,047 --> 00:16:21,385
Well, the game was too complicated and
research showed people didn't follow it.

269
00:16:21,552 --> 00:16:25,389
What's complicated? You spin the Wheel
of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance...

270
00:16:25,556 --> 00:16:28,892
...past the Mud Hut through the
Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey.

271
00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:32,229
You yank his tail, and boom,
you're in Paradise Pond.

272
00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,773
Yeah. All that's gone.

273
00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:38,360
Um, it's basically just a simple
question-and-answer game now.

274
00:16:38,569 --> 00:16:41,029
Well, what's fun about that?

275
00:16:41,196 --> 00:16:43,073
You expect me to be the host
of a boring game...

276
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,492
...that's just people standing around
answering questions?

277
00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:48,412
Well, there'll be women in bikinis
holding up the scores.

278
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:51,540
[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE]
Let's play Bamboozled.

279
00:16:51,707 --> 00:16:54,418
And all those dinosaur
knickknacks you have...

280
00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:57,588
...Ross, I thought they might be
more at home in the garage.

281
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:02,342
- Well, we don't have a garage.
- Did I say garage? I meant garbage.

282
00:17:04,428 --> 00:17:09,433
You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's
not absolutely vital that you live with us.

283
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:15,314
- Well, Rachel needs help with the baby.
- I do. I really do. I don't know anything.

284
00:17:15,481 --> 00:17:17,191
I'm sure that's not true.

285
00:17:17,399 --> 00:17:20,235
Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica,
do I know anything about babies?

286
00:17:20,402 --> 00:17:23,489
- Nope. Not a thing.
- Mm-mm. It's frightening.

287
00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:26,783
Well, um, you know what?
Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.

288
00:17:26,992 --> 00:17:30,204
I have a son.
His mother and I didn't live together.

289
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:33,957
Whenever he was with me,
I took care of him all the time, by myself.

290
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:38,003
- That's true. You do have another child.
- Yeah.

291
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:40,547
With another woman.

292
00:17:40,756 --> 00:17:42,716
Have you no control, Ross?

293
00:17:46,094 --> 00:17:47,346
That's a different issue.

294
00:17:49,223 --> 00:17:53,977
Um, the point is, when the baby comes,
I will be there to feed her...

295
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:55,812
...and bathe her and change her.

296
00:17:55,979 --> 00:17:58,690
And more than that,
I want to do all those things.

297
00:18:00,192 --> 00:18:02,694
Well, then you don't need me
to live with you.

298
00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:04,404
Yes!

299
00:18:05,531 --> 00:18:08,951
Yes. You're gonna be so missed.

300
00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:10,911
You're gonna be a great father.

301
00:18:11,078 --> 00:18:13,455
Well, you're gonna be
a wonderful grandma.

302
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:17,834
Hello? I still don't know
what the hell I'm doing.

303
00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:21,338
Come on, every first-time mother
feels that way.

304
00:18:21,505 --> 00:18:27,511
You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will.
Look, when you first came to the city...

305
00:18:27,678 --> 00:18:30,347
...you were this spoiled,
helpless little girl...

306
00:18:30,514 --> 00:18:33,016
...who still used Daddy's credit cards,
remember?

307
00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:35,644
I hope you're going somewhere with this.

308
00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:39,273
Look at you. You're this big executive.

309
00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:42,150
You are much more capable
than you give yourself credit for.

310
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:45,821
I have no doubt you're gonna
be an incredible mother.

311
00:18:46,738 --> 00:18:49,866
- Really?
- I'm telling you.

312
00:18:50,784 --> 00:18:52,661
Thank you.

313
00:18:55,038 --> 00:18:57,124
All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.

314
00:18:57,958 --> 00:19:00,002
ROSS: Oh.
- Oh, no, sweetheart, you stay put.

315
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:03,964
I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here.
Which I almost wasn't.

316
00:19:04,131 --> 00:19:06,174
[LAUGHS]

317
00:19:06,341 --> 00:19:11,597
You're just so funny. You're so funny.
What do I do?

318
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:15,809
Nothing. You have apologized
to her like a million times.

319
00:19:15,976 --> 00:19:18,312
And she's been nothing
but terrible to you.

320
00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:20,439
And don't forget,
you just threw her daughter...

321
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:24,568
...a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower.

322
00:19:24,735 --> 00:19:29,823
- And she hasn't even thanked you for it.
- You know what? You're right.

323
00:19:30,073 --> 00:19:33,118
Yeah, I mean, if you wanna
say anything to her, I'd tell her off.

324
00:19:33,285 --> 00:19:34,828
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

325
00:19:36,288 --> 00:19:38,582
Okay, I will.

326
00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:41,126
Mrs. Green?

327
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,836
Mrs. Green?

328
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:45,922
It is rude to leave a party
without saying goodbye to the host.

329
00:19:46,131 --> 00:19:48,508
And also, when someone
apologizes to you...

330
00:19:48,675 --> 00:19:50,761
...the decent thing to do is to accept it.

331
00:19:50,927 --> 00:19:53,388
Because what I did to you,
it wasn't on purpose.

332
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:57,225
But what you're doing to me now
is plain spiteful.

333
00:19:57,434 --> 00:19:58,769
- Spiteful?
MONICA: That's right.

334
00:19:59,019 --> 00:20:02,898
Maybe it's time you took a good,
hard look in the mirror, young lady.

335
00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:04,816
Old lady.

336
00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:06,818
Lady.

337
00:20:07,027 --> 00:20:09,863
Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.

338
00:20:10,739 --> 00:20:15,661
So whenever you're ready to apologize
to me, I will forgive you. Good day.

339
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,167
I can't feel my legs.

340
00:20:22,918 --> 00:20:25,837
You were fantastic.
I'm so proud of you.

341
00:20:26,463 --> 00:20:30,050
- Yeah? I'm proud of me too.
- You should be.

342
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,844
- Could you get me something to drink?
- You got it.

343
00:20:34,888 --> 00:20:38,266
Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry.
I apologize. If you just-- Aah!

344
00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:39,851
[THUDDING]

345
00:20:41,186 --> 00:20:43,939
MONICA [LISPING]:
Okay. I bit my tongue.

346
00:20:44,606 --> 00:20:47,943
But I'm still really sorry.

347
00:20:54,491 --> 00:20:56,576
- Okay, I'm ready.
- You sure?

348
00:20:56,743 --> 00:20:59,705
Yes. I've done my studying,
and I really know my stuff.

349
00:20:59,913 --> 00:21:02,082
All right, then.

350
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,378
Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled.

351
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:09,756
How do you test the temperature
of the baby's bathwater?

352
00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:12,050
- Uh, put your elbow in it.
- Excellent.

353
00:21:12,259 --> 00:21:16,596
- How do you put a baby down for a nap?
- Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.

354
00:21:16,763 --> 00:21:17,848
That's correct.

355
00:21:18,056 --> 00:21:22,102
This is an audio question. What do you do
when a baby makes this sound:

356
00:21:22,269 --> 00:21:25,021
[MIMICS BABY CRYING]

357
00:21:27,065 --> 00:21:29,651
Uh, check if it's wet,
check if it's hungry, burp it.

358
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:34,781
Excellent. Now, do you want another
question or a Wicked Wango Card?

359
00:21:35,031 --> 00:21:38,452
- A card. A card. I pick a card.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

360
00:21:38,618 --> 00:21:42,372
You've been Bamboozled.
You're gonna be a terrible mother.

361
00:21:45,792 --> 00:21:48,462
I've lost sight of why
we're doing this.

362
00:21:52,924 --> 00:21:54,926
[English - US - SDH]