1
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:09,258
Hey, Pheebs, I'm having dinner with my dad
tomorrow. Wanna come?

2
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,468
Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy.

3
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,555
Oh, no, I'll be there too.

4
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:19,977
Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal.
If it's going well, you can take off.

5
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,438
No, Phoebe,
I just need you there for support.

6
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,816
- I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet.
- Oh. Why not?

7
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,194
Because I know he's gonna flip out
and I hate it when he gets angry.

8
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,156
Oh, Rachel.
This is all so "Papa Don't Preach."

9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,868
No, Pheeb, wait, he's a scary guy.
I mean, one time he caught me smoking.

10
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:39,705
He said if he ever saw me doing that again,
he would make me eat the entire pack.

11
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,416
- Wow. Well, I will be there.
- Okay.

12
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,544
Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man
make you eat your baby.

13
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,800
Oh. Hey, who is that guy?
I think I know him.

14
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:53,886
- No, you don't.
- No, you don't.

15
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,015
Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper
from your bachelorette party.

16
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,687
Her what?

17
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,107
Your secret bachelorette party.

18
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,362
- You had a bachelorette party?
- She untied his G-string with her teeth.

19
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,366
Somebody stop me.

20
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,912
I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor,
bachelorette parties.

21
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,206
You know, we agreed
that it's a silly tradition.

22
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,041
It's a grand tradition.

23
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:28,921
I'm sorry. They surprised me.
There was nothing I could do.

24
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,091
Well, you could have untied it
with your hands.

25
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,884
This is so unfair.

26
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,929
The one thing I wanted to do
was throw my best friend a bachelor party...

27
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,140
...but, oh, I wasn't allowed to.
All we got was a stupid steak dinner.

28
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,934
You went home with the waitress.

29
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,896
Ha. Yeah, that was a good night.

30
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,149
I can't believe you didn't tell me.

31
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:53,487
You know that the two pillars of marriage
are openness and honesty.

32
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:57,407
Ugh. I knew giving you that book was
gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

33
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,703
How about I order everyone
the Moroccan chicken?

34
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,371
Oh, I don't eat meat.

35
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,165
It's chicken.

36
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:51,420
- Yeah, I don't eat that either.
- I'll never understand you lesbians.

37
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:57,759
- So, baby, tell me, what is new with you?
- Well, actually, um...

38
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,679
- Ahem. Your '74 Lafite, sir.
- Seventy-four?

39
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:05,309
I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine.
The '74 is sewage.

40
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,102
Why would you bring me sewage?

41
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,816
Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot?
Is that why you're a waiter?

42
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,652
This is why I told the manager
I wouldn't wait on you tonight.

43
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,822
Oh, come on.
Don't be such a baby.

44
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:25,204
In case you didn't notice,
that is a scary man.

45
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:29,041
He's right, though.
The '74 is absolute piss.

46
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:34,421
This was such a huge mistake.
I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't.

47
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,757
- Rachel...
- No, it's okay. This is what's gonna happen.

48
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:41,345
I'm gonna wait a couple of years
and then the baby will tell him.

49
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:47,017
- Why? So he can get mad at the baby?
- Hey, that is the baby's problem.

50
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:53,857
- Oh. Everything okay with the waiter?
- I have no idea. I went to the bathroom.

51
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:01,240
So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me
what is, uh...? What is new with you?

52
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,033
RACHEL:
Well...

53
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,119
Um...

54
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,330
I got TiVo.

55
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,917
- What's TiVo?
- It's slang for "pregnant."

56
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,921
Phoebe.

57
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,841
Are you really pregnant?

58
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,262
Well, uh, yes and no.

59
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,639
Except, not no.

60
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,141
So to sum it up, yeah.

61
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:32,562
Who is the father? Oh, no.
Please don't tell me it's her.

62
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,609
No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross.

63
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,322
Oh, Daddy,
I hope you're okay with all this.

64
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,243
I mean, think about it, this is a good thing.
This is your first grandchild.

65
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,995
You're gonna be a poppy.

66
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,248
That's true. I'm a poppy.

67
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,666
[RACHEL LAUGHS]

68
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,334
I'm gonna be a poppy.

69
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,961
[ALL LAUGHING]

70
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,675
- So when is the wedding?
- The who?

71
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,221
The wedding.
There's going to be a wedding.

72
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,684
Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me
my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.

73
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,813
Rachel Karen Green,
tell me there's gonna be a wedding.

74
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,065
February 2nd.

75
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,532
So it was cool
seeing you lecture today.

76
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:30,370
Oh, thanks. Although it seemed like
you were falling asleep there a little.

77
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:36,043
Oh, no, I had my eyes closed
so I could concentrate and take it all in.

78
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,421
Yeah, a lot of my students do that.

79
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,174
- So, um, I gotta get going.
- Okay, I'll see you tonight?

80
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,383
- Yeah.
- Okay.

81
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:48,388
Oh, hey, thanks again for showing me
your semi-precious stone collection.

82
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,141
It was amazing.

83
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,896
My God, you must be good in bed.

84
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,442
So you and Mona. It's been a while now.
How's it going?

85
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,736
Uh, it's good. It's going good.

86
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:06,365
I mean, we get along great.
She's so...

87
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,826
- Hot?
- Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah.

88
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,871
And she's okay
with Rachel and the baby?

89
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:17,292
Well, I haven't actually told her yet.
I don't wanna scare her off.

90
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,169
Well, you have to be honest with her...

91
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,922
...otherwise you may think
that you're going down the same path...

92
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,216
...but you're really
going down different ones.

93
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:27,344
I'm gonna take that book
and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.

94
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,557
Oh, my God,
you are gonna love me so much.

95
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,186
I felt really bad about the whole
bachelorette party thing, so tonight...

96
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,939
...you're gonna have a bachelor party.
- What?

97
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,941
Yeah, I got this number
from this guy at work...

98
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,984
...and I hired a stripper
to come dance for you.

99
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,030
Am I going in the
wife hall of fame or what?

100
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,659
Honey, that's crazy,
I don't you to get me a stripper.

101
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,828
Will you let the lady talk?

102
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:57,165
Come on. Come on, it'll be fun.
It'll make me feel so much better.

103
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:01,461
Look, I appreciate it, but, uh,
it's a little creepy, you know?

104
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,171
I'm not a bachelor anymore.

105
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,048
So don't think of it as a bachelor party.

106
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:08,009
Think of it as a two-month
anniversary present.

107
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:12,431
Sure. One year is paper,
but two months is lap dance.

108
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,853
Please, I feel so bad.
Just watch the hot woman get naked.

109
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,982
- Fine, but I'm only doing this for you.
- Yeah.

110
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,277
And Joey.

111
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,362
Thank you.
Now, who else do you wanna invite?

112
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,699
Uh, no, no, no. Just Ross and Joey
is embarrassing enough.

113
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,578
Uh, actually, sorry, I can't even make it.
I'm seeing Mona again tonight.

114
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:38,498
I understand. Who would cancel an actual
date just to go to a fake bachelor party?

115
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,709
I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby.

116
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,176
I'm sorry I won't be able to make it
to your imaginary wedding...

117
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,760
...but I'm really busy that day.

118
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,016
I already have a unicorn baptism
and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.

119
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,022
I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked.

120
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:07,110
I didn't want him to start yelling at me
like I was some '74 Latour.

121
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,112
It's Lafite.

122
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,991
The '74 Latour is actually
drinking quite nicely.

123
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:18,246
All right, here he comes. I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna be strong.

124
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,208
- I just called a friend of mine.
- Yeah.

125
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,461
I think I may be able
to book the Plaza on short notice.

126
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,298
Really?

127
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,175
The Plaza?

128
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,636
Oh, Daddy.

129
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,724
- Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you please.
- What is it, sweetie?

130
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:42,312
There's not gonna be a wedding.
Ross and I are not getting married.

131
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,940
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
- I don't believe this.

132
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,483
Daddy, stay calm, please.

133
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,777
Stay calm?
How do you expect me to stay calm?

134
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,864
This is unacceptable, Rachel.
And I wanna know why.

135
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,450
Is it because that punk Ross
won't marry you?

136
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,912
- That's it. Is that it?
- Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.

137
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,424
So, you, uh,
nervous about getting married?

138
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,845
What are you doing?

139
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,473
Look, let's pretend
it's a real bachelor party, okay?

140
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,642
You know, before your wedding.
It'll be more fun.

141
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:25,105
All right. I can't believe
tomorrow's the big day.

142
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,901
How's it feel knowing you're never gonna
be with another woman again, huh?

143
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:34,698
Knowing you're gonna have to wake up
to the same face every day...

144
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,827
...until you finally have
the sweet release of death.

145
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,538
You're right. This is more fun.

146
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,416
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

147
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,876
That's her. Okay, come on.

148
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,507
- Hi.
- Hi.

149
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,342
[NOISEMAKER HONKS]

150
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,597
So which one of you lucky boys
is Chandler?

151
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,682
Uh, that's me.

152
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,101
That's me.

153
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,647
Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.

154
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,860
- So is that a bedroom?
- Yeah, yeah, right over there.

155
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,029
All right. Whenever you're ready.

156
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,741
That was weird.

157
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,578
- Why would she go in the bedroom?
WOMAN: I'm waiting.

158
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,799
- So she's a...
- Yep, that's one naked hooker.

159
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,930
I love your place.
Where is this guy from?

160
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,684
Uh, that's an 18th-century
Indian artifact from Calcutta.

161
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,227
Oh. Wow.

162
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,899
So you're more than just dinosaurs.

163
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,485
- So much more.
- Mm.

164
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,445
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

165
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,407
[SHATTERS]

166
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,785
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

167
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,663
Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1.

168
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,582
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

169
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,502
Sorry.

170
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,884
You think you can knock up my daughter
and then not marry her?

171
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,553
I ought to kill you.

172
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,475
You know, this is actually
not a great time for me.

173
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:35,694
So come on.
Explain yourself, Geller.

174
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,863
- First you get my Rachel pregnant...
- You got Rachel pregnant?

175
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,156
- Who did?
- You did!

176
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,117
Yes. Ahem.

177
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,496
Yes, yes, I did, but it was
just a one-night thing. It meant nothing.

178
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,583
Oh? Really? That's what my daughter
means to you, nothing?

179
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,671
No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me.
I mean, I love Rachel.

180
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,465
- What?
- Oh, but not in that way. Heh.

181
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,134
I mean, I'm not in love with her.

182
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:02,053
- I love her like a friend.
- Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend?

183
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,389
You get her in trouble and then
you refuse to marry her?

184
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,683
- Hey, I offered to marry her.
- What?

185
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,977
But I didn't want to.

186
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,565
Well, why not? So you could
spend your time with this tramp?

187
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,066
Tramp?

188
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:18,820
I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona.
Mona, Dr. Green.

189
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:23,199
I can't believe there is
a naked hooker in there.

190
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,828
Wait, wait.
Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper...

191
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,206
...but she got confused
about what she's supposed to do.

192
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,419
Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip.
We just missed it.

193
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883
Ma'am?

194
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,552
Are you also a stripper?

195
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,180
WOMAN:
Uh, no, but I could pretend to strip.

196
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,639
But that's gonna cost extra.

197
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,058
Okay, here's the extras:
Handcuffs, spanking...

198
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,643
No, no, ha, ha.

199
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,148
Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.

200
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:59,068
You know, getting her own husband
a hooker. That's pretty funny.

201
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,907
That is funny. Maybe for my birthday
she'll murder someone.

202
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:08,995
I bet Ross was in on it too.
I mean, he was conveniently busy.

203
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,708
WOMAN: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
- Oh, actually, I'd rather... Ahem.

204
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:17,587
Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to
burn that room down anyway.

205
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,341
How could you have kept
all of this from me?

206
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,260
- I was going to tell you, but...
- But what?

207
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,222
You figured you'd get what you wanted,
then you'd dump her like Rachel.

208
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:31,810
Hey, I did not dump Rachel.
Nor are we still together.

209
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,102
[PHONE RINGING]

210
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,104
Oh, um...

211
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,815
Can I...?

212
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,652
Why don't we just let the machine
get that?

213
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,195
[MACHINE BEEPS]

214
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,031
JOEY [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Ross, it's Joey.
There's a hooker over here.

215
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,992
We thought maybe
you'd know something about it.

216
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,996
No. No. No. No. No.

217
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,541
I need to lie down.

218
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,214
So tonight's the night
of the big bachelor party?

219
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,383
Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me
that girl's number.

220
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,010
No problem. So who's the party for?

221
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,680
- My husband.
- You hired your husband a hooker?

222
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,433
- She's a stripper.
- No, she's a hooker.

223
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,980
- Is that what they call strippers sometimes?
- When they're hookers.

224
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,400
Oh, my God, Stu,
I can't believe you did this.

225
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,569
You're absolutely sure she's a hooker?

226
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:26,531
Either that, or she's just the best,
most expensive date I ever had.

227
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:36,040
- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
- Why would she do that?

228
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,126
Maybe she wants you
to learn something.

229
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:45,425
Is there anything you're really bad at,
you know, sexually?

230
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,303
This is the worst bachelor party ever.

231
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,807
WOMAN: What's taking you boys so long?
- In a minute.

232
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,561
In a minute?
What's gonna happen in a minute?

233
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,439
All right, all right.
Maybe you should just ask her to leave.

234
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,691
- Why me?
- Hey, it's your bachelor party.

235
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,320
- Which is why you should do it.
- I don't want to. You do it.

236
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:06,613
- You do it.
- You do it.

237
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,325
All right, rock, paper, scissors
for who has to tell the whore to leave.

238
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:17,373
- What?
- I miss this.

239
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,960
I don't think we've actually
done this before.

240
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,671
No, I miss hanging out with you.

241
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,050
- Well, we still hang out.
- Not like we used to.

242
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,303
Remember?
You and me used to be inseparable.

243
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:35,266
Well, now it's like things are different.

244
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:39,687
Well, you know, things are different.
I'm married now.

245
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,191
Yeah, sure. And, hey, don't get me wrong,
I am so happy for you guys.

246
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:48,613
But I just miss hanging out.
Just us, you know?

247
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,616
Yeah, I miss that too.

248
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:55,119
I'll tell you what, from now on, we'll
make time to hang out with each other.

249
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,206
You got it. Come here.

250
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,543
Oh, God.

251
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,463
Listen, I am this close
to robbing you guys.

252
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,592
She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a...!

253
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,347
Hi. Uh, we spoke on the phone.

254
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,981
So your dad dropped by.

255
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,400
He's a pleasant man.

256
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:28,987
- Oh, no.
PHOEBE: I better go.

257
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,870
Just over here.
I don't wanna miss the fight.

258
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:39,998
Ross, I am so sorry.

259
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:44,293
Okay, I promise I will straighten this out
with him tomorrow in person.

260
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,129
Or via e-mail.

261
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,799
I don't care about your dad.
I care about Mona.

262
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,010
She was there and now
she's totally freaked out.

263
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,554
Ugh, okay, I'll fix that too.
What's her e-mail address?

264
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,222
Rachel.

265
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,809
All right, I promise, I'll fix this.
I swear I'll talk to her.

266
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,769
- Okay. Thank you.
- Okay.

267
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:06,190
That's it? You call that a fight? Come on.

268
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,069
"We were on a break." "No we weren't."
What happened to you two?

269
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,491
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

270
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,162
Thank you so much
for coming back over.

271
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,499
Oh, good. You're here.

272
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,377
Yeah, and I was worried
that it was going to be uncomfortable.

273
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,547
I know. Mona, just hear me out.

274
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:33,718
First of all, I am so sorry
about my father yelling at you.

275
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:35,595
But I heard that you totally
held your own.

276
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,555
You're gonna have to tell me
how you did that.

277
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,974
- Focus.
- Okay. Um...

278
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,643
Okay, yes, Ross and I used to date.

279
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,898
And yes, we are gonna have a baby.

280
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:51,110
But we are definitely not
getting back together.

281
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:55,198
- How can I be sure of that?
- Oh, because we drove each other crazy.

282
00:17:55,365 --> 00:18:01,245
I mean, he was possessive, he was jealous.
He could never just let the little things go.

283
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,122
- Trying to date this woman.
- Right.

284
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:08,336
But none of that compared
to how kind and gentle...

285
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,755
...and thoughtful he is.

286
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,591
You probably shouldn't touch me.

287
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,929
You know, I just don't wanna get
in the middle of something so complicated.

288
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:21,516
I get it. But, Mona,
what relationship is not complicated?

289
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,602
We all have our baggage.
You must too.

290
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,479
Why else would you still be single?

291
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,482
I'm so gonna leave right now.

292
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,611
[MONA SIGHS]

293
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,822
Should I leave this open for you too?

294
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,409
I'm not sure yet.
Why didn't you just tell me about all this?

295
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,830
Because what's going on with Rachel has
nothing to do with how I feel about you.

296
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:48,584
- Well, you still should have told me.
- I know, and I was going to...

297
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:52,713
...but I thought it was better
that you heard it from Rachel's father.

298
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,259
Look, I made a mistake...

299
00:18:56,510 --> 00:19:01,013
...but it's only because
I really, really like you. Really.

300
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:06,727
Okay. I guess you can
close the door now.

301
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:17,864
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

302
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:22,285
Forgot my purse. Oh, you guys made up.

303
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,038
He's a good kisser, isn't he?

304
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,707
I'm going.

305
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,340
I swear I didn't know she was a hooker.
I mean...

306
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,051
Did you let her smoke in here?

307
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,929
Her ass-print is still
on your grandmother's quilt.

308
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,140
Do you really want to talk
about smoking?

309
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,061
You know what?
I'm gonna make this up to you.

310
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,980
I promised you a stripper...

311
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,191
[EVE'S "LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND"
PLAYING ON STEREO]

312
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,484
...and you're gonna get a stripper.

313
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,864
- Monica, wait.
- What?

314
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,033
Carry on.

315
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,913
If I had to give you up
It's only been a year

316
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:12,251
Now, I got my foot through the door
And I ain't going nowhere

317
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:17,715
It took a while to get me in
And I'm gonna take my time

318
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,887
Ooh. These tennis shoes are so tight.

319
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:27,975
- I think I'll take them off.
- Could you not narrate?

320
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,436
Gotcha, sailor.

321
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,646
[BREAKING]

322
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,865
GREEN [OVER PHONE]: Just because
you're not in love with the guy...

323
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,201
[GREEN CONTINUES
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

324
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:49,121
- Oh, you told your dad the truth.
- About an hour ago.

325
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,750
- Wanna go see a movie?
- Yes.

326
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,380
Bye, Dad.

327
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:05,721
GREEN: It's unacceptable, Rachel.
What the hell does love have to do with it?

328
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:09,475
There are more important things
in a marriage than love.

329
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:17,775
You have to think about
the consequences of your decisions.

330
00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:23,864
Hey, I do too think about
the consequences of my decisions.

331
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,785
Well, what gives you the right to...?

332
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,245
Go to hell.

333
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,919
Stupid guy on my phone.

334
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,468
[English - US - SDH]