Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go.
[EMMA BABBLES]
Oh, that's right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.
We're going to a conference in Barbados. Right?
- Uh-huh. - Can you say, "Barbados"?
Barbados.
Okay. I've gotta say, it means so much to me that you guys are coming...
...all the way over there to hear me give my speech.
Ooh, and I have a surprise. I had to pull some strings...
...but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference. That's right!
These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Do you have anything that will get us out of them?
We're excited to hear the speech, but the rest of the time...
...we're gonna want to do island stuff.
David'll probably want to hear a few lectures.
- Right, because he's a scientist. PHOEBE: No, no.
He's been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight...
...he'll die.
Okay, we'd better go. Yeah?
- So we'll see you guys tomorrow. - All right, let's do it.
A five-hour flight with Charlie, have a couple drinks...
...get under that blanket and do what comes natural.
It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.
- Wow, this place is beautiful! - Look at all these paleontologists!
I know. There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.
SARAH: Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here!
I think I've been recognized.
- This happens all the time. - Dr. Geller? I am such a huge fan.
That never happens.
I've been following your career for years. I can't wait for your keynote speech.
- Wow. This is very flattering... - I would love your autograph.
Well, sure. Um...
- "Dear?" - Sarah.
"Sarah. I dig you."
- "Dr. Ross Geller." - Oh, thank you so much.
Sure. Sarah, I'd like you to introduce you to my colleague, Professor Wheeler.
- And this is Joey Tribbiani. - Are you a paleontologist?
No, God, no, no. I'm an actor.
You probably recognize me from a little show called The Days of Our Lives.
Dude, it's just Days of Our Lives. There's no "the."
Okay, Ross, boy, you... Yeah. No, no. I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.
- I'm sorry. I don't own a TV. - You don't own a TV?
What's all your furniture pointed at?
David, can you help me?
I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's Principle...
...and Newton's third law of motion. - See?
Yeah. That's the same as, "It has something to do with wind."
I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.
I should go too. Now, tomorrow do you want to share a cab to the airport...
...or should Mike and I meet you?
Mike? Who's Mike?
- Mike's your ex-boyfriend. - That's right!
Oh, yeah. Wow, I had totally forgotten about him.
- That's a blast from the past, huh? - No, it's okay. Honest mistake.
It really doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know...
...Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.
- She does? - Let's get you out of here.
Well, at least you took me down with you.
I'm so sorry. I just... I keep thinking about Mike.
I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together.
Why? Why do I miss Mike? That's just... That's gonna go away, right?
- Well, I guess. In time. - Yeah.
I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
You just did it again. Chandler. Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.
Boy, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, huh?
I wouldn't read too much into it.
Still, a girl calls you by her ex-boyfriend's name...
...that's not a good thing, right? - Let me stop you there.
Because I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice.
See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey...
...for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.
I'm sorry, I just wish there was something I could do, you know?
- Well, you know Phoebe... - Seriously, we're gonna do this?
I'm sorry, I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already.
- Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? - Oh, because his penis was too big.
I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.
[CHUCKLES]
They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married.
What if you let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
That's great. That's great. I'll propose to her.
What?
I was probably going to do it at some point.
- No, I didn't mean now. - Well, why not? It's brilliant.
"Goodbye, Mike. We'll see you at the wedding, fella.
Well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding, but..."
- Well, thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. - Well, you're welcome.
Glad I could help.
- How do you think I should propose? - I'm pretending to read here.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. How you doing?
- Hey, hey. - Hey.
You said you were gonna wear a thong. Where's the thong?
Ha, ha, I didn't mean a thong. I meant thongs.
You really should have been more clear about that.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
You're never gonna guess who I just saw downstairs.
Oh, uh, uh, Britney Spears!
Yeah. She never misses these conferences.
- No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! - Oh, my God!
- I know! - Did you talk to him?
Oh, yeah. What am I gonna say to Kenneth Schwartz?
You could say, "Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?"
- You ready to go? - You're gonna go now?
- I thought we could hang out. - I can't. I have seminars all day.
I promised Ross I'd look at his speech.
But maybe we could have dinner later? Out on the balcony? Lt'll be romantic.
Will you wear a thong?
I will if you will.
You got yourself a very weird deal.
I'm good. I have dinner plans.
- So you gonna be okay? - Yeah, yeah.
I got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming.
Joe, have you looked outside?
No. Why?
- Oh, man. - There's an indoor pool.
- You could swim there. - Yeah.
I wasn't gonna swim. I was gonna dig a hole.
That "Mike" was interesting. I don't know what's gonna happen...
...with Phoebe and David. - I do. Want a hint, huh?
I do.
Okay, I'm sensing this is some kind of wordplay...
...because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
- David's gonna propose to Phoebe. - What? Why?
Because we were talking about ways he could beat Mike...
...and I told him Phoebe wanted to get married.
Chandler, we have talked about this.
You are not supposed to give people advice!
Couldn't you have made some inappropriate joke?
I did! A penis one!
Just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
They've only been going out for a few weeks.
Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike. I mean, she'll say no...
...David's heart will be broken, it'll be too hard for them to recover...
...and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Man, that's some bad advice.
Oh, hey. Thank God. You guys are here.
- What's going on? - Everything is upside-down here.
It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.
I don't want to alarm anybody...
...but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.
Okay. When I go places with high humidity...
...it gets a little extra body, okay?
That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.
I'll show you guys where to check in.
Oh, honey? Can you make sure we get a king-size bed?
Oh, David, get one for us too. Oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one.
And with mirrors on the ceiling.
And make sure our room isn't next to theirs.
Oh, you guys are so lucky you're here with people.
You know, it's just such a romantic place.
I just wish I could share it with a guy.
- Not Joey. - Not Joey. No.
- I was just lusting after Chandler. - Yeah, right.
So I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight.
Tonight?
Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond?
Oh, there it is.
Yes, well, being a failed scientist...
...doesn't pay quite as well as you might think.
That's one-seventieth of a carat.
And the clarity is quite poor.
Nice.
- Monica, can I talk to you for a second? - Okay.
David's gonna propose to Phoebe tonight.
See what happens when you give people advice?
- Well, I hope you told him not to. - That would be advice!
Okay, fine. I'll handle this.
- Phoebe? - Yeah?
- I need to talk to you. - Are you leaving the Supremes?
[GIGGLES]
Okay, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice.
David's gonna propose to you tonight.
Wow, really?
That's fantastic!
What? Are you serious? You want to marry him?
- What about Mike? - Oh, okay, you want me to marry Mike?
Let's just gag him and handcuff him...
...and force him down the aisle, okay?
I can just see it. "Mike, do you take Phoebe?"
[MUMBLING]
You know? It's every girl's dream.
Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?
Sure. Look, okay, bottom line? I love Mike... David!
David! I love David.
Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna.
"By using CT scans and computer imaging, we can, in a very real way...
...bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21 st century."
It's great.
You'll be the hit of the conference.
It'll be even better tomorrow...
...because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey...
...checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.
[KNOCKING]
- Hey, guys. - The chocolates aren't here.
Damn it!
Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic.
Oh, is it on the computer? Because I'd love to give it a read.
If you want to check your e-mail, just ask.
What? May I?
What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for dino week...
...nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
- The wet season is June to December. - It's not the time, Charlie.
Oh, no. No, no! Dear God, no!
What, did someone outbid you for the teapot?
Secret teapot.
Your computer. I don't know what... Everything's gone.
- What do you mean? CHANDLER: Must be a virus.
I think it erased your hard drive.
What? Oh, my God. What did you do?
Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
- Why? Why would you open it? - Well, it didn't say, "This is a virus."
- What did it say? - "Nude..."
"Pictures of Anna Kournikova."
- I'm so sorry. - What am I gonna do?
- My speech is gone! - It's not gone.
I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy?
No, I don't!
Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now.
- It's really gone? - Yep.
I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here...
...to complain about the rain and ruin my career.
- I just feel awful. - Yeah, you should.
Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She's never even won a major tournament.
Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but...
You know, you and Monica have the same I'm-gonna-kill-you look.
I can usually make it go away by kissing her.
Get out.
You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
- What do you do? - I usually go...
...play Tetris on somebody else's computer.
I can't believe this is happening.
I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow.
I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
You can use a speech I memorized for auditions.
I don't think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now.
Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech.
- We can re-create it. We've got all night. - What, you really think we can do that?
Oh, wait. Joey and I are supposed to have dinner.
Don't worry about that. I mean, Ross needs you.
Rachel and I will stay and help any way we can.
[RACHEL GROANS]
All right. Okay, let's do it.
Well, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating.
And then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment...
...of the Mesozoic Era, the breakup of Pangaea. Hello?
And then there's the overview of the Triassic.
Ooh, ooh. Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?
[PHONE RINGING]
- Hello? MONICA: Okay, Mike?
Enough is enough. You love Phoebe, and she loves you.
So get over your I-never-wanna-get-married thing...
...and step up!
Who is this?
This is Monica, Phoebe's friend.
Listen. Phoebe is back with David.
He's gonna propose, and she's gonna say yes...
...but I know she really wants to be with you.
He's gonna propose?
I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair!
If Phoebe wants to marry David, she should.
I'm not gonna stand in the way of that. Neither should you.
You don't tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.
Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados.
And while I've got you, you've got curly hair.
What do you do in the humidity?
Damn it!
- Well, I hope you're happy. - Aw, I hope you're happy too, honey.
Phoebe's going to say yes to David.
- That's what happens when you meddle. - Phoebe's gonna say yes? That's great.
No, it's not. She's still in love with Mike.
- There's no chance that will work? - No, I called.
- It's not gonna happen. - Meddler! Meddler!
If you hadn't meddled to start with...
...then I wouldn't have had to go in and meddle myself.
No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle...
...the thing that you meddled up in the first place!
This vacation sucks!
- I'm so bored. - Mm.
Stupid rain. We can't do anything.
Well, I brought some books. We could read.
Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Hey, hey, hey, don't mind if I do.
I'm sorry, sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention.
You feel like going to a convention?
- We can't. We're not pharmacists. - I know we're not...
...but Frank Madaio and Eva...
[STUTTERING ON NAME]
- Kate Miller. - Kate Miller it is.
- Okay. - Oh, good...
And that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.
Well, in that case, should I make sure it's on real good?
Thank you.
Oh, and then you said that thing about bringing the Mesozoic Era...
...into the 21 st century.
Well, yeah. That's it?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. We did it.
Actually, I did it, Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.
Oh, this is amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.
That's a pretty necklace.
Thank you.
Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne?
Yeah! Save the cork, and that way, we can fill the bottle with water...
...and put it back so they don't charge you.
Oh, my God, I love you.
This is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son...
...or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
- Your first marriage? ROSS: Yeah.
You've been married more than once?
No.
Mm.
So why'd you break up?
Oh, it was...
It's complicated, you know? She was, uh...
...gay.
Oh, my God.
This is so cool!
Okay. Odd thing to get excited about.
No, it's just that I was engaged to a guy who turned out to be gay.
Hey! High-five!
[LAUGHS]
Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs?
My fiancé was always going on long weekends with his "tennis partner."
My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with every day for a year.
She didn't get any fitter.
- Everybody's like, "I knew all along." - I know.
If you knew, why didn't you tell me? I mean, call, leave a note.
"Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife's gay."
- I know. - And then...
And then you try to make the best of a bad situation...
...so you float the idea of a threesome.
I didn't do that.
Me neither.
Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
I know. That old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Not enough pills in the world, Rach.
What about you, huh? You're the single one. See anybody in there you like?
Well, let's see. There was that really big guy that I was talking to...
...with the really nice breasts.
But what about back home?
Anything going on there? Anybody you like?
No.
- There is. You're blushing. - No, I'm not blushing...
...and I'm sunburned.
From, you know, the rain.
You like someone. Tell me who.
- Tell me who it is. Come on. - No. Joey.
Who do you like? You're not getting away that easy.
- Who do you like? - Joey, come on!
It doesn't matter, you know? It's not like anything's gonna happen.
What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Okay. Okay. You really want to know who it is?
- Yeah. Who is it? - Do you?
- Yeah. CHARLIE: Hey.
ROSS: Hey. CHARLIE: I just left you a message.
Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite...
...but now that you're here, we could have that dinner.
Right! Of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Yep! We got it. We got it. Thank you so much.
- I had a great time. - Yeah.
This isn't over, because I really want to know...
Later. Later.
CHARLIE: So shall we? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Good night.
Good night.
[BOTH SIGH]
- Okay, good night. - Good night, Ross.
I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David.
She's clearly in love with Mike.
You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Um... Phoebe, um, I have, uh, something I want to say.
Oh, God, he's gonna do it. I cannot watch this. Let's go.
I think we have time. Have you heard him talk?
"Uh, Phoebe, um, I would be honored if, uh, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Uh, Phoebe, um...
You're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was unbearable.
Of course, the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help.
Sure. Okay. Yeah.
But, um, well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart.
So to that end...
- Oh, my God, Mike. - It's David, actually.
No, Mike's here.
Oh, hey, Mike.
Hi, David.
Chandler. Monic... Oh!
It's the humidity!
- Hi, Phoebe. - What are you doing here?
I have a question I need to ask you.
I have a question I was kind of gonna ask her myself.
Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Okay.
- Would you care for my seat as well? - Actually, yeah, that'd be great.
Well, that's fair, you've had a long trip.
Phoebe, I love you.
I've missed you so much these last few months.
I thought we were apart for a good reason...
...but I realized that there was no reason good enough...
...to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Kind of steps on the toes of what I was going to say.
I'm sorry, David, but she really has to know this.
All right, but after this, I want to see you outside.
If the rain stops.
You're the most incredible woman I've ever met.
How could I lose you? Now, I don't actually have a ring.
- I have a ring. - I wouldn't brag about that, big guy.
But, Phoebe...
...will you marry me?
No.
Ha-ha.
I love you, but I never needed a proposal from you.
I just needed to know we were headed somewhere.
- That we had a future. - We can have any future you want.
Okay, well, I'm gonna take off.
David, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Just so I know, if I had asked first?
Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would've been wrong.
Please, you don't have to explain.
I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk...
...things would have worked out for us, and I wouldn't have ruined my career.
Or lost that toe to frostbite.
It was a good trip.
- Is it okay if I hug you now? - Oh, yes.
Because of our meddling! All right?
Oh, isn't this nice? It's so quiet. I could just lie here all day.
Oh, I know.
- Open your drapes! Open your drapes! - So glad we got adjoining rooms.
- The sun is out! - Hey! Remember when I had corneas?
Go to the pool and reserve chairs.
- I will get the magazines and the lotion. - Ladies? Ross' speech is in 45 minutes.
- No! - Damn it!
ROSS: Walls are pretty thin, guys.
"Then we have to weigh the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing...
...which call into question information gathered from years of carbon dating."
Look at the woman sitting out by the pool getting tan.
She's all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so jealous!
"Finally, factor in the profusion of new species recently discovered.
Giganotosaurus.
- Argentinosaurus." - Not to mention Coldsaurus.
"And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores.
Their heads are already too big.
Which is ironic, considering their stunted cerebral development."
[CROWD LAUGHING]
Really?
"But all kidding aside, in much the same way...
...that Homo ergaster is thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus..."
[JOEY LAUGHS]
- What? - He said "erectus."
- You're kidding, right? - No, he really said it.
"And while there are certainly vast differences...
...between these Mesozoic fossils and the example of Homo erectus..."
[RACHEL LAUGHING]
Erectus?
- Homo. - Right.
"In a very real way, we can bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21 st century."
Thank you.
RACHEL: Really great. - Thanks, guys.
I thought it was wonderful.
Jarvis Oberblau. Cornell.
I mean, the ideas you put forth, and from someone so young and...
Okay, now we're just holding hands.
Alrighty. We're gonna hit the beach. That was really great.
- Oh, thank you. - Yeah. Oh, and so funny.
- Take it easy. - All right, thanks. Thanks so much.
I can't tell you how much it means that you were here.
You kidding? We wouldn't have missed it.
Oh.
I'm back.
Okay. Well, excuse me?
Hey.
- Well? - You were incredible.
You blew them away.
I can't tell you how great it was to look in the crowd and see your face.
I mean, did you know you were mouthing the words along with me?
- I was not. - No, it's okay.
It made me feel like a rock star.
Oh, my God. I'm your groupie.
Hey, I better not find you naked in my hotel room.
[ROSS LAUGHS]
Look, I took it too far.
MONICA: I can't believe it's raining again. It's so unfair.
PHOEBE: Well, on the bright side, now we won't have to see...
...all these paleontologists with their shirts off.
Not you guys.
You've got it going on.
- What will we do today? - They have a game room downstairs.
They have Ping-Pong and stuff.
Ping-Pong? Honey, they have Ping-Pong.
- Let's play. - I don't think so.
- Why not? - You know how competitive you get.
And while I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying.
- I'm not always that bad. - Oh, yeah?
What happened when we played last time?
I punched you.
- And? - Phoebe.
- And? - I clunked your heads together.
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS]
- There you are. - Hey. Listen.
As soon as it stops raining, we have got to go snorkeling.
Some kid told me about this sea turtle. If you blow bubbles in his face...
...he chases you.
I'm sorry, I can't. I'm running a discussion group all afternoon.
Oh.
That's okay. I'll find someone else to do it.
I'd do it alone, but, uh...
...I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you.
You know, I feel so bad.
I haven't seen you this whole trip. Especially last night...
Don't worry about it. It was fine. I had the best time with Rachel.
I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room working on Ross' speech.
Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun.
Oh, well, at least we're both having fun, right?
- Is it weird that it's not with each other? - Yeah.
A little bit, yeah.
I think we need to talk.
Yeah, I think we do.
About what?
- Come on, you guys, it'll be fun! - All right.
- I'll play if we don't keep score. - Well, then how do we know who wins?
- Nobody wins. - So we're just four losers. Super.
- Well, I'm not playing with her. - I'm out.
- I'll play you. - Okay.
- You don't know what you're doing. - She gets crazy.
This scar? That's from Pictionary.
I think I'll be all right.
- You want to volley a bit for serve? - Sure, if you want to.
Ho!
Oh, by the way, I'm awesome.
Oh, dear God, there's two of them.
- You ready to play? - Hell, yeah.
- Did you know this about him? - No idea. I thought he was soft like you.
- Want to make it more interesting? - How much you thinking?
- Ten bucks a game? - Make it 50.
- I'll make it 100. - One thousand...
Okay!
We'll flip to see who goes first. You got a quarter?
No. Either of you girls got a quarter?
Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.
- Monica, you call it. - Heads. No, tails! Heads!
- Tails. - Oh, what are the chances?
- Hah! My point! MIKE: Oh, no, I don't think so.
Standard rules: If at any time a player uses his nonracket-bearing hand...
...to touch the playing surface, he or she forfeits the point.
He was a lawyer.
All the East Coast is having beautiful weather.
In New York, it's 72 and sunny.
Oh. Weather bitch.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
It's open.
- Hi, Joe. - Hey.
- What? Is everything okay? - Charlie and I broke up.
No. Why?
Well, she said we have nothing in common.
That's crazy.
No, it's not. We have nothing in common.
- Yeah, that's true. - Yeah.
I mean, she should be with someone more like Ross.
You know, I mean he uses all those big words too.
- Man, smart people are dull. - Well, hey!
Okay, Rach.
I feel so stupid, you know? Why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
- What are you talking about? - Oh, come on.
I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie. It's like... What the hell's my problem?
I just...
[SIGHS]
Okay. Maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl.
I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me.
- I'm not talking about her. - Well, then, who?
The waitress I went out with last month?
- You know what? Forget it. - No, no, no, no.
- Who are you talking about? - No, I don't...
I actually don't know who I'm talking about, so...
- Okay. - Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna go see if I can get a room for tonight.
- And I'll see you later. - Yeah, sure. Okay.
- You like me? - Okay.
- Let's not make a big thing about this. - It's a huge thing!
Okay, not working with me, Joe.
Look, here's the thing. Lately, I have been having thoughts.
Musings, if you will.
- Well, for how long? - Oh, only like a month.
- A month?! - Well...
Dial it down. Listen, maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do.
I have been thinking about, you know, us.
- Okay, dial it up a little. - Oh, you're right. Okay.
- I just have a question. - Shoot.
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm not trying to do anything.
It's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know?
And I mean, aren't you just a little curious what it would be like?
Am I curious? I mean, I'm as curious as...
...George!
Who?
- Curious George! - Oh!
You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat.
- Of course. I remember. - He had a paper route.
Yeah, he did.
- See, this is what I'm talking about. - No, I know. We're great!
But, Rach, no, this can't happen.
Can't it just happen a little bit?
- No! It can't happen at all! - Why not?
Because, look, no one wants this to happen more than me, okay?
I have gone over this moment in my head 100 times...
...and not once did I ever say no.
I couldn't do it to Ross.
- But that wasn't gonna stop you before. - I know. I know...
...but I've thought about it a lot since then, and it just wouldn't be right.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
- Oh, God, I shouldn't have said anything. - No, no, no, no. Hey, we'll be fine.
- Like you said, it's no big deal. - It's not a big deal.
- No big deal. - It's so not a big deal.
- I'll see you later. All right, hey. - Okay, great.
[LAUGHS]
RACHEL: Okay... Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry, I think... I think that may have missed the table.
- Oh, do you? - Yeah.
- Do you? - Yeah.
- Do you? - Yeah!
- You really find this attractive on him? - Oh, yeah.
Are you telling me you're not even a little turned on by Monica right now?
This is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
All right, come on, Mike. You can beat her.
Knock that dog off her head.
- Oh, damn it! - I sleep with him!
- Game point. - Don't get too cocky.
Remember, I won the last one.
Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
You should look in the mirror before you call yourself that.
- No! No! No! - And that's how it's done.
CHANDLER: Okey-dokey.
You've each won a game, and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life.
Everybody goes home a winner.
- Best of three? - What I'm thinking.
Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
- Serve the ball, chump. - "Serve the ball, chump."
Okay, better comebacks, Mike. Better comebacks.
I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks.
If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be...
...just nifty.
Well, I've kind of got a lot on my plate right now.
Not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man.
- Jarvis? - Oh, you're back.
- This is my wife, Nancy. - Well, get out!
Ross? Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yes, please.
So, what's going on?
Well, Joey and I broke up.
- Oh, my God. What happened? - Joey is a great guy...
...but we're just... We're so different.
I mean, like, during your speech, he kept laughing at "Homo erectus."
I knew that was him!
Anyway, I just... I think it's for the best.
- Hey. Hey, you okay? - I guess.
There was...
There was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey.
I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else.
Okay, Geller. Last day of the conference.
You know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Professor Klarik, we're in the middle of a conversation here.
- Can't you throw him in the pool later? - Or we could throw you both in now.
Okay, gentlemen, please. Aren't we a little old for this?
I mean, we're scientists, all right? We're academics...
...and most importantly you will have to catch us first.
Go! Go! Go!
[LAUGHS]
Okay, so it's tied again, 41 to 41.
- Okay, look, enough is enough. MONICA: No.
- I just have two more points to beat him. - Monica, that was also true an hour ago!
I mean, please, look at you.
Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable!
You've already proven you're just as good as he is.
We missed our dinner reservation, let's go upstairs...
...order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
I can't just walk away. I've put in four hours.
You knew this about me when you married me.
You agreed to take me in sickness and in health.
Well, this is my sickness!
- What about the obsessive cleaning? - That's just good sense.
Ow!
[MONICA WHIMPERING]
- You okay? - No, honey, I'm okay.
Shake it off. Oh, no shaking. No shaking. No shaking.
[MONICA GROANING]
Oh, my God. I can't play.
- So you forfeit? - Mike wins?
I can't believe it. I lost.
- No, you didn't. - What?
- Because I'm gonna play for you. - You can't do that.
It's okay. I don't care which of them I beat.
Okay, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
- Honey, you don't have to do this. - Yes, I do.
I may not understand why you have to win so badly...
...but if it's important to you, it's important to me.
Because I love you.
But you suck.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
All right, let's get this over with. Sudden death.
- Whoever wins this point, wins. - Okay.
- Oh, my God. You're good. - It's like watching porn.
And that's how it's done.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was so amazing.
Well, when did you...?
Hold on, I almost forgot. Loser.
- When did you stop sucking? - I never sucked. I just didn't want you...
...to know how good I was. - Why?
- I don't know. - Well, this is so great.
- Now we can enter doubles tournaments. - That's why.
- They still looking for us? - Yeah.
The bartender said they split up into two search parties.
The herbivores and the carnivores.
You know, we, as a group, are not the coolest.
Oh, look out.
- I don't think they saw us. - I don't think they did.
So I started to tell you something earlier. Um...
There was another reason that I realized it was time to end it with Joey.
I kind of realized I was starting to have feelings...
...for someone else.
Oh.
And can I ask who?
I think you know.
I think I know too, but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
- I'm sorry, we can't. - All right. All right.
I mean, you just went out with my best friend, you know?
I just think it would be a really, really bad idea.
Or not. I mean...
What?
Oh.
[English - US - SDH]