1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,549 Have you seen our bank statement? Can this be right? 2 00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:10,469 I know. God, I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this... 3 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:14,390 ...since I was a kid and they came up with Double Stuf Oreos. 4 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:19,270 - What happened to all of our money? - Well, I'm not sure exactly what they did... 5 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:22,064 ...but I'm inclined to blame Enron. 6 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,651 Well, I guess with you doing the internship... 7 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:28,362 ...we're just spending more than we're bringing in. 8 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,408 Yeah, maybe I should quit and get a job that pays. 9 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:35,286 But you're finally doing something that you love. 10 00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,830 I mean, I can't ask you to give that up. 11 00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:41,667 Although it would be nice if the thing that you loved was, you know, finding gold. 12 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,838 You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. 13 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,923 Okay? So we pay our bills late this month. 14 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,134 Maybe next month, we cut back on a few things. 15 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:54,305 And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. 16 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,809 You're a chef. What can you make out of baking soda and beer? 17 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:02,063 All right. Worst-case scenario is, we borrow some money from my parents. 18 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,981 No, we're not borrowing money. 19 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:07,109 - Why not? - Because we don't do that. We are Bings. 20 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,781 If there's one thing my father taught me, it was... 21 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,743 ...well, to always knock before going into the pool house. 22 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,913 But the other thing was, never borrow money. 23 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,832 Wow, I had no idea you had this much pride. 24 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,918 That's right, I do. I am your man. 25 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,878 And I'm gonna get us through this situation... 26 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,130 ...even if it means you working twice as hard. 27 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,921 [TV PLAYING] 28 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,882 - I'm gonna go. - Why? 29 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:14,969 I haven't been home in a couple days and I need to get more clothes. 30 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,972 You don't have to go. I have something that'll fit you. 31 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:22,309 I put that tube top on as a joke. 32 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,105 - I want you to stay. - I want to stay too. 33 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,858 But I've got as much use out of these boxers as I can. 34 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,235 - Why don't you turn them inside-- - Done it. 35 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:36,031 - I'll be back in a couple of hours. - All right. I'll miss you. 36 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,117 Me too. 37 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:46,041 You know what? I just realized something. I don't want to go home. 38 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,546 - Great! Okay, I'll go get the tube top. - No, no, what I mean is... 39 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:53,507 -...I hate going back to my apartment now. - Mm-hm. 40 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,510 Partly because I live above a known crack den... 41 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,348 ...but, you know, mostly because when I'm there, I really miss you. 42 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:04,768 So... 43 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,479 ...do you want to move in together? 44 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,859 Wow, Mike Hannigan... 45 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,237 ...you sure know how to make a girl say "Hell, yeah." 46 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,450 - So we're doing it? - Yeah, let's do it. Let's live together. 47 00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,662 Wow. We're really gonna move in together? 48 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:24,872 Yeah. 49 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:27,541 I've always wanted to live with a guy. 50 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,253 Pick up your socks. Put down the toilet seat. 51 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,548 No, we are not having sex anymore. 52 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,635 It's gonna be fun. 53 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,473 - Hey, JOEY- - Hey. 54 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,894 Listen, I need to know that what I'm about to ask you... 55 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,271 ...will never get back to Chandler. 56 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,195 I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it myself. 57 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:02,618 But Chandler is my best friend. It would be wrong. 58 00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:06,413 Good, but wrong. 59 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:11,168 Okay, first of all, it would be great. 60 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:14,713 But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow money. 61 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,133 Oh, I don't know, Monica. You know... 62 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302 ...lending friends money is always a mistake. 63 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:24,014 - But Chandler lent you money. - And he would tell you it was a mistake. 64 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,602 Come on, I just-- I need it for some rent and some other bills. 65 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,397 Oh, well... Well, how much? 66 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,025 - Two thousand dollars? - Two thousand dollars? 67 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,611 What do you think I am, a soap-opera star? 68 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:41,573 - Yeah. - That's right, I am. 69 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:42,783 [LAUGHS] 70 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,412 - Hi, you guys. MONICA & JOEY: Hey. 71 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:50,165 - What's in the bag? - You know how Emma started crawling? 72 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:54,253 I realized that this place is very unsafe for a baby... 73 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:58,257 ...so I went to the store and I got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment. 74 00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,467 Oh, God, baby-proofing. 75 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,221 Why is it such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid, it was like: 76 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,807 "Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs." 77 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:11,895 Or, "Whoops, Joey electrocuted himself again." 78 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,692 Anyway, um, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff? 79 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:20,487 - No, I was just gonna do it myself. - Ha, ha. 80 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,659 - You're gonna do it'? - Yeah. Why? 81 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:30,497 - You don't think a woman can do this? - Women can. You can't. 82 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,836 Monica, will you please tell Joey that he is a pig. 83 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,715 - You're a pig. And you can't do this. - What? 84 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:43,427 What? Come on, I found the hardware store all by myself. 85 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,429 The hardware store's right down the street. 86 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,474 There is a hardware store right down the street? 87 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,064 Hey, you guys? Okay, we've got great news. 88 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,567 - Phoebe and I are moving in together. - Congratulations. 89 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,321 I know, it's so exciting. You know, I've never lived with a guy before. 90 00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:06,408 Well, it's just like living with a girl, only they don't steal your makeup. 91 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:09,995 Unless they're playing "This ls What My Sister Would Look Like." 92 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,415 Yeah, she's not so cute. 93 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,294 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - Well, you put down the toilet seat. 94 00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,505 Yes, dear. 95 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,884 - Is that a bit you guys do? - Uh-huh. We're playing you two. 96 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,515 We don't do that. Tell her we don't do that. 97 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,683 Yes, dear. 98 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,397 I can't believe you're moving in together. That's gre-- I'm happy for you guys. 99 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,733 - I hear wedding bells. - Monica, slow down, okay? 100 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,486 I'm just excited to be living with him. 101 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,780 You know, I mean, I don't know... 102 00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:48,283 ...can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure. Yeah. 103 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,744 You know, I could picture myself walking down the aisle... 104 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:55,541 ...in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. 105 00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,462 But do I want that house in Connecticut, you know, near the good schools... 106 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,508 ...where Mike and I could send little Sophie and Mike Jr.? 107 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,219 Oh, my God, I do. 108 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:10,639 Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional. 109 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,474 I know. I guess I am. 110 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:16,186 Oh, my God, load up the Volvo, I want to be a soccer mom. 111 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,941 - You ready to go? - Yeah, you bet, roomie. 112 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,902 Don't you mean "groomie"? 113 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,865 - What are you talking about? - Please. 114 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,825 These guys. We haven't even moved in yet... 115 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,244 ...and they have us picking out china patterns. 116 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:33,745 [CHUCKLES] 117 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,421 China patterns! 118 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:49,678 This is easy. "Can't do this..." 119 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,477 Wow, seriously. Can't do this. 120 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,650 CHANDLER: Hey, Joe. JOEY: Hey. 121 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:08,113 Listen, um, I need to ask you a favor, and we can't tell Monica anything about it. 122 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,743 - I thought you guys didn't have secrets. - That will remain the official party line. 123 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,621 [SIGHS] 124 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,999 Look, Monica and I are having a little financial trouble. 125 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,919 - Yeah, I know. - What? What do you mean, you "know"? 126 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,213 Uh... 127 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,381 I just figured it out, you know? 128 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:30,219 I mean, you're not working and, uh, the economy is bad. 129 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,763 Oh, right. 130 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:36,266 That is the fastest I have ever thought. 131 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,561 Anyway, uh... 132 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,190 ...I need to borrow some money. 133 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:46,151 Oh, sure. Yeah, how much? Two thousand dollars? 134 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,365 Yes, $2000 exactly. How did you know that? 135 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,079 Uh, well, I know how much you used to make... 136 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,248 ...and I know how much your rent is. 137 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,167 Oh, okay. 138 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,711 I am on fire. 139 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,382 Listen, this is really nice. 140 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,345 Did you write a check to Monica for $2000? 141 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,222 Did Monica borrow money from you? 142 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:19,935 - Uh, kind of. - I can't believe her. 143 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,104 Did she tell you we were having money problems? 144 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,232 No, no, no. It wasn't because of your money problems. 145 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:28,443 It was for something for her. 146 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,320 What? 147 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,655 Something personal. 148 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,825 What would she get for $2000 that she wouldn't tell me about? 149 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:36,201 Excuse me. 150 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,123 Boob job. 151 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,501 I don't want her to get a boob job. That's crazy. 152 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,629 Well, it's not that crazy, okay? 153 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,382 Making them smaller, that would be crazy. 154 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:57,264 Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you about Monica's little "groomie" joke. 155 00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:01,310 Well, I think the reason people laughed is that it's a play on the word "roomie." 156 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,061 No... 157 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:08,817 I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. 158 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,362 No, the thing I want to say is... 159 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,490 Maybe we should've talked about this before. 160 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:19,995 Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right? 161 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,998 - Oh, no, no. Not at all. - Okay. 162 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,627 We're just moving in right now. We'll see where it goes. 163 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:31,214 Yeah, well, that's the thing. For me, it's as far as it can ever go. 164 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,594 - What do you mean? - Look, Phoebe, I... 165 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:40,140 I love you very much. But I never want to get married again. 166 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,267 Oh. 167 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,730 - Wow. - It's just, my first marriage was... 168 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:50,484 ...you know, such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea. 169 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,695 - Mm-hm. Was it really that bad? - At one point, near the end... 170 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:57,699 -...she deliberately defecated on my-- - Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah. 171 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:03,872 But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps... 172 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,667 ...a blond who always uses the toilet? 173 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,422 Except for once in the ocean. 174 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,217 Look, it's not about who I would marry. 175 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,929 I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. I was wrong. 176 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,807 - But, it just-- - Look, Phoebe, it's not about you. 177 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,267 I just never want to get married again. 178 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,980 - Ah. - I'm sorry. 179 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:34,069 Are you okay with that? If not, maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea. 180 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,739 No. Oh, I definitely don't want to get married. 181 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:41,785 No, I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too. 182 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,914 Because, you know, if we move in and you start changing your mind... 183 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,041 ...there is gonna be hell to pay, mister. 184 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,670 - Trust me. I will never-- - Yeah, I get that. Yeah. 185 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,973 Hi. So you gave in and decided to call someone? 186 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:07,477 Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks. 187 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,689 - You're all set. - Oh, thank you so much. 188 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,191 Wait. You forgot your, um... 189 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,777 Your game. 190 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,529 Thank you. 191 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:24,786 Hey, Rach. There she is, my perfectly proportioned wife. 192 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,666 Don't look at me. I never get his jokes. 193 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,961 - Thank you? - No, no. Don't thank me. 194 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:37,090 Thank you. Do you know there is not one thing that I would change about you? 195 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:40,552 Not one single thing. And definitely not... 196 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:43,096 ...two single things. 197 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,391 Okay, you're being weird. Do you want sex... 198 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,477 ...or did you do something bad? 199 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,314 No. No. No. I just love the way you look. I am warm... 200 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,274 ...for your form. 201 00:12:56,818 --> 00:13:00,155 Okay, um, you know the old classics like, you know, "You look nice"? 202 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,448 They're still okay. 203 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,035 But "you look nice" could mean that I'm saying, "Your face looks nice." 204 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,788 I want to compliment your body. 205 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,333 I mean, I wouldn't change it at all. 206 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,253 And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger. 207 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,964 - Okay. - I mean... 208 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,259 ...you wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger, would you? 209 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,056 Don't answer that. 210 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,896 Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder. 211 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,817 I know. Why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger? 212 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,110 I don't know. I mean, what brought that on'? 213 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,281 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what? We're trying to get pregnant... 214 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,785 ...so he's probably starting to freak out that my body's gonna change. 215 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,412 - You think that's what it is? - You heard him. 216 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,541 "No bigger. You're perfect. Just don't get any bigger." 217 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,544 My God, he sounded just like my high-school wrestling coach. 218 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,676 - I'm gonna have to talk to Chandler. - Yeah. If you don't, I will. 219 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:06,596 Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger... 220 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,099 ...your ass is gonna get bigger... 221 00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:12,185 ...you're gonna lose bladder control. 222 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,191 God, it's just such a magical time. 223 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:23,738 [KNOCKING ON DQOR] 224 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:25,699 - Hi. - Hey. 225 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,034 Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage. 226 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,120 Now you're seeking me out to make jokes? 227 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:34,249 I mean, I can see if we're all hanging out, but to come to my home... 228 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,877 No, I really want to know how you feel about it. 229 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,714 - Why? - Mike doesn't ever want to get married. 230 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,425 - Never? - Never. 231 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,887 Wow. Are you still gonna move in with him? 232 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:51,808 I want to, but I wanted you to tell me that marriage really isn't that big a deal. 233 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:56,396 You know, that I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks. 234 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,150 Yeah, marriage stinks. 235 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:05,405 I mean, if you want to see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving... 236 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,365 ...get them married. 237 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,578 - That's not how you really feel, is it? - No, I'm sorry. 238 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,749 Look, I know it's not what you want to hear, but I can't help it. 239 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,334 I love marriage. 240 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,753 Seriously, you? Divorce-0? 241 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,800 If you have to call me a name, I'd prefer "Ross, the Divorcer." It's just cooler. 242 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:31,056 Look, look, I know my marriages didn't exactly work out... 243 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:34,392 ...but, you know, I loved being that committed to another person. 244 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,521 And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian. 245 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,274 And once afterward. 246 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,860 Anyway, I'm sorry. 247 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,446 Ugh. It's okay. That's how you feel. 248 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,617 But, come on, I mean, living together will be great. 249 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,620 I mean, you guys have so much fun. And you love Mike. 250 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,498 - I do love Mike. - Yeah, see? 251 00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,001 And you were so excited about moving in together before... 252 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,671 ...and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal. 253 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,424 Yeah, I guess you're right. 254 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,760 Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks. 255 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,471 The Divorcer to the rescue. 256 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,099 - It's not cooler. - Yeah, I just heard it. 257 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,149 Oh. 258 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,115 Rash? 259 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,500 Rachel? 260 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,141 So I can't do anything I like? 261 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,852 Hey, Rach. 262 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:03,773 Ah, perfection. Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing. 263 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,983 - Honey? CHANDLER: Yeah? 264 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,776 About that. 265 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:12,824 - Um, I'm going to change. - Yes, but, honey, you don't have to. 266 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,118 I'm gonna get bigger. 267 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,703 Honey, I... 268 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,873 I love your breasts the way they are. 269 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,751 Ugh. Fascist. 270 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,379 Well, my breasts are gonna get bigger whether you like it or not. 271 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,050 And it's not just my breasts. My ass is gonna get bigger too. 272 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,885 Your ass? 273 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:36,181 And don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too. 274 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,478 - They do that? - It's kind of a package deal. 275 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:46,191 God, why? Why would you want to do that to yourself? 276 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,110 I thought it was something that we both wanted. 277 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:53,281 If it means that much to you, I may be able to get on board with the big boobs... 278 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,575 ...but the giant ass and the big clown feet? 279 00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,871 Oh, my God, Chandler. 280 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:03,124 If you can't handle this, what are you gonna be like in the hospital... 281 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:07,504 ...with the blood and screaming and the little person that's shooting out of her? 282 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,758 What? 283 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,644 Joey, why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job? 284 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,522 Because she is. 285 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:29,526 - Chandler knows I borrowed the money. - Mm-hm. For your boob job. 286 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,528 - Joe... - It's over. 287 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,406 Okay, so I'm out $4000 and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger? 288 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:45,834 Hey. Hey, what do you guys think about this: Ross, the Divorce Force. 289 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,878 - Better. - Yeah? 290 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,089 Very cool. 291 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,553 Hey, Pheebs? You know, I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day... 292 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,764 -...and I hope I was a little helpful. - Oh, yeah, you were helpful. 293 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,724 - Yeah. No, thank you. - Good. Good. 294 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,270 Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized... 295 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:09,107 ...I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you. 296 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,525 What do you mean? 297 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,777 I know the other day in the coffeehouse... 298 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072 ...you were all caught up in the whole soccer-mom thing... 299 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:20,451 ...but is that really you? I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo? 300 00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:24,372 They are awfully boxy. 301 00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:30,420 I mean, I don't know, you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean, it's so normal. 302 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,715 Uh-huh. Yeah. 303 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,466 Hey, can I help? 304 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:39,220 Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway... 305 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:43,725 ...dodged a rabid pit bull. But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky. 306 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,314 You know, sometimes your words, they hurt. 307 00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,776 Hey, where do you guys want this? 308 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,571 Yeah, seriously, because this is really heavy. 309 00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:01,159 I mean, not for me, because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys. 310 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:08,875 Just one last time on the marriage thing. There's no wiggle room? None at all? 311 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,170 No, but you don't want to get married either, right? 312 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,588 Right. 313 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,132 Except that I do want to get married. 314 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:19,469 Couldn't have had this conversation down at the truck, huh? 315 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,347 What? You want to get married? 316 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:24,182 Someday. 317 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,685 And hernia. 318 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:35,109 I haven't had a normal life. And I never felt like I was missing out on anything. 319 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:39,697 But it feels like now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff. 320 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,284 If you wanted to get married, why didn't you say something before? 321 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,411 Because I didn't know how much I wanted it. 322 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,581 And I love you, and I wanted to live with you. 323 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,708 I wanna live with you too. I mean, let's do that. 324 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,002 But I don't think I can. 325 00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:57,090 It was okay to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen. 326 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,802 But I can't move in knowing nothing is ever gonna happen. 327 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,722 Can we at least try living together? You might change your mind about marriage. 328 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,267 Are you gonna change yours? 329 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,311 No. 330 00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,189 Me neither. 331 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:22,115 Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want. 332 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,120 But I don't want this to end. 333 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,706 No, I don't want it to end either. 334 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,712 I can't believe this is gonna end. 335 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,342 I guess I'll have my stuff picked up. 336 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,262 Yeah. Okay. 337 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,059 Okay, so, uh... 338 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,408 Good bye. 339 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,705 - Take it easy, Mike. - Bye, Mike. See you later, Mike. 340 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,461 I'm so sorry, Pheebs. 341 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,796 We're all sorry. 342 00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,760 Look on the bright side. 343 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:27,347 I mean, at least you won't have to live with this ugly chair. 344 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:30,433 That was here already, huh? 345 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,852 I love you. 346 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,117 I did it! I did it! Ha, ha! 347 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,244 All right. 348 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,877 I'd better take all I can carry. 349 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:02,298 Who knows when I'll be able to get in here again, huh? 350 00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:09,180 [English - US - SDH]