1
00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:05,715
Guys! Guys! I've got great news.
Guess what.
2
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,259
- Uh, Monica's pregnant!
- Really?
3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,805
Let's get past the moment.
4
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,849
- What's your news?
- Thank you.
5
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,268
I got a job in advertising.
6
00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:20,479
- Oh, honey, that's incredible!
PHOEBE: Wow.
7
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,441
Gosh, what's the pay like?
8
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,737
Oh, come on, people.
9
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,905
If I don't know who makes the most...
10
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,616
...how do I know who
I like the most? Hi, Joey.
11
00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,121
It pays nothing. It's an internship.
12
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,206
We have interns at Days of our Lives.
13
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:42,460
Right. So it'll be the same,
except less sex with you.
14
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,589
So, uh, what do you think
they'll have you do there?
15
00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:49,925
It's a training program,
but they hire the people they like.
16
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,095
- That's great!
- There's gonna be some grunt work...
17
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,891
...which will stink. A grown man
getting people coffee is humiliating.
18
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,354
Humiliating and noble.
19
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,232
Thank you.
20
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,070
You know, if I didn't already
have a job...
21
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,322
...I would've been good in advertising.
22
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,241
Ross, you did not come up with
"got milk?"
23
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,410
Yes, I did! I did!
24
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,123
I should've written it down.
25
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,384
JOEY: Hey.
- Hey.
26
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,804
Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him
good luck on his first day.
27
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,473
And I smelled bacon. Ha, ha.
28
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,893
- He just left.
- Who did?
29
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,189
Joey, you're never gonna
believe it! She called!
30
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,941
- She did'?
RACHEL: You got it!
31
00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,776
- I did?
- What is she talking about?
32
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,195
I don't know, but it sounds great!
33
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,531
No, your agent called.
You got that audition!
34
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,074
- With Leonard Hayes?
RACHEL: Yes!
35
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,953
Oh, my God, that is great!
It's for a play on Broadway.
36
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,249
And in a real theater. Not that little one
underneath the deli like last time.
37
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084
- Is it a good play'?
- It must be.
38
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,420
I read it and didn't
understand a single word!
39
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,757
- Leonard Hayes is starring in it.
- Yeah, and directing.
40
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427
Oh, he was so good
in that movie of Macbeth.
41
00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:00,431
- You saw that?
- No, but I saw the previews.
42
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,641
- They played it right before Jackass.
- Ah.
43
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,268
Oh, yeah, yeah. He has.
44
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,395
- He's done some amazing work.
- Oh, yeah.
45
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,731
Oh, I loved him
in those phone commercials.
46
00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:12,776
When the monkey hits him in the face
with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha.
47
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904
Maybe the monkey
will be at the audition.
48
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,406
Don't make me more nervous
than I already am!
49
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,586
- Good morning.
- Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?
50
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,714
Oh, no, no. I'm an intern,
just like you guys.
51
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,469
Except for the tie, the briefcase
and the fact that I can rent a car.
52
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,471
Seriously, you're an intern?
53
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:44,183
I'm heading in a new career direction
and you gotta start at the bottom.
54
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,644
Dude.
55
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:53,067
I know I'm a little older than you guys,
but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.
56
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,113
The comedian. USO.
57
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,617
Uh, it's U.S.A., sir.
58
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,169
This is Joey Tribbiani.
Joey, these are the producers.
59
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,297
And as you probably already know,
this is Leonard Hayes.
60
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,758
JOEY:
Wow.
61
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,847
It is so amazing to meet you.
I am such a big fan of your work.
62
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,518
Well, I've been blessed with
a lot of great roles.
63
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:32,856
Tell me about it, huh?
"Unlimited nights and weekends!"
64
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:37,319
Are you making fun of me?
Because I am not a sellout.
65
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,197
I didn't do it for money.
I believe in those phones!
66
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:44,743
I almost lost a cousin
because of bad wireless service.
67
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,081
No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think
you were great in those commercials.
68
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,582
- Really?
- Yeah.
69
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,836
Well, I do bring a certain
credibility to the role.
70
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,462
- It's true.
- Are you kidding?
71
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,256
When they shoot
you out of that cannon--
72
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,966
[MIMICS CANNON FIRING]
73
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,302
"Hang up that phone!"
74
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,178
- One take.
- Wow.
75
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,055
Did that in one. I know.
76
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,267
- So shall we read?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
77
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,812
Top of Act 2. This is my entrance.
You got it?
78
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,772
Mm-hm.
79
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,652
What the hell are you still doing here?
80
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,071
Oh. Uh.
81
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,615
- I think you know.
- Bastard!
82
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,328
I am what you made me.
You know what? I could go right now.
83
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,205
- Go! Go!
- I can't.
84
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:34,084
Oh, I want to, Long Pause...
85
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,380
...but I can't.
86
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:45,304
I'm so sorry. You're not supposed
to say "long pause."
87
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:51,310
Oh! Oh, I thought that was your
character's name. You know?
88
00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:54,938
I thought you were, like, an Indian
or something, you know, with the...
89
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,857
- Sorry.
- Long Pause.
90
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,903
No. Thank you so much for coming in.
We appreciate it. Thank you.
91
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,905
Sure you don't want me to do it again?
92
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,698
- I could do it with an accent.
- No.
93
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,033
You know, Southern.
94
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,619
[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT]
"I could go right now, mon!"
95
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:09,953
Huh?
96
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,708
My God in heaven.
97
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:20,172
Joey, hang on for a second. Leonard,
can we talk to you for a moment?
98
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,382
Yes?
99
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,925
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
100
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,094
You've gotta be kidding.
See, he can't act.
101
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,720
[WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
102
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,514
I don't care if you think he's hot.
103
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,725
If you wanna sleep with him,
do it on your own time. This is a play.
104
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,727
[WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
105
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,729
No, listen, if you insist on this...
106
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,940
...I will call my agent so fast...
107
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:42,111
...on a cell phone connection so clear,
he's gonna think I'm next door!
108
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:48,534
Uh, hi. Uh, thank you so much
for whispering for my benefit.
109
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,996
If you tell me what I did wrong, I would
love to work on it and try it again for you.
110
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,499
And also, how you doing?
111
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,668
[CHUCKLES]
112
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,965
Would you please just give me another
chance? I really wanna get better. Please?
113
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,174
Really?
114
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,094
Well, if you wanna come back today...
115
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,179
-...here are my notes. Ready?
- Yeah.
116
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,141
Um, you're in your head.
You're thinking way too much.
117
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,560
I really doubt that.
118
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:19,022
No, no, no. It's that you're not connected
with anything in your body.
119
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,483
- No urgency. The scene is a struggle.
- Uh-huh.
120
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,734
- It's a race.
- Uh-huh.
121
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,154
Also, what you did was horizontal.
122
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,991
- Don't be afraid to explore the vertical.
- Uh-huh.
123
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:33,704
And don't learn the words.
Let the words learn you.
124
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,586
Couldn't I just sleep with
the producer?
125
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,800
Hey, do you wanna go
to dinner tonight?
126
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,554
Oh, I can't. I've got a date
with that waitress, Katie.
127
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:54,141
Yeah, I know we've only gone out,
like, twice, but I don't know...
128
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,937
-...I have a good feeling about her.
- Oh, I hear divorce bells.
129
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,982
Give me your wallets,
and there won't be a problem.
130
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,942
- What?
- I have a gun.
131
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,321
Okay, just relax, Phoebe.
Just stay calm.
132
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,742
Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!
133
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,414
- All right, lady, now give me your purse.
- No.
134
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,168
What do you mean, "no"? I knew
you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay!
135
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,422
- Lowell, is that you?
- Phoebe?
136
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:30,302
- Oh, my God!
- Unbelievable! Oh, my God! Oh!
137
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:34,932
I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend,
Lowell, from the streets! Ha, ha.
138
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,518
- Lowell, Ross.
- Ross, nice to meet you.
139
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,853
Yeah, a real pleasure.
140
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:44,274
- Oh, it's been so long! Oh, so long.
- Ha-ha-ha.
141
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,945
- I can't believe you're still doing this.
- Ah, I know. But I quit smoking.
142
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905
Good for you.
143
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782
You look like you're doing well.
144
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,367
I guess your mugging days
are behind you.
145
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,618
Oh.
146
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,121
Oh, my God.
Phoebe, you used to mug people?
147
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,543
Excuse me, Ross,
old friends catching up.
148
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,798
_H6Y-
_H6Y-
149
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:11,426
- How'd the audition go?
- They wanna see me again, but, uh...
150
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,346
...boy, Leonard Hayes did not like me.
151
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:18,183
- What happened?
- Oh, he said I wasn't urgent enough.
152
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:23,689
Everything I did was horizontal,
and I should be more vertical.
153
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,110
- Oh, and he said that I should think less.
- Well, so far so good.
154
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,281
Honey, I'm old!
155
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,658
What's wrong?
156
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,997
I am so much older than these other
interns. I can't compete with them.
157
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,707
So you're a little older.
158
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,835
Look at the positive.
You have all this life experience.
159
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:50,591
Yes, but I don't think life experience
is gonna help me with these.
160
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:56,221
Wow! It's like they're on fire!
161
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,181
Ooh.
162
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,437
- What are they?
- Prototype sneakers.
163
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,189
I need ideas on how to sell them.
Which I can't do...
164
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,151
...because no self-respecting adult
would ever wear these.
165
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,861
I'll give you $500 for them.
166
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,076
- What am I supposed to do?
- Come on, sneakers are easy.
167
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,955
- You wear them all the time.
- They're not called sneakers anymore.
168
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:28,045
They're called "kicks" or "skids."
I think I heard somebody say "slorps."
169
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,342
They've got wheels that pop out from
the bottom so you can roll around...
170
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,928
...because apparently
walking is too much exercise.
171
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:41,475
"Kids! Kids! Roll your way
to childhood obesity!"
172
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,479
Would you help me try to sell these?
173
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:50,734
Okay. Have you considered
using a girl with huge knockers?
174
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,403
That's not what they're looking for.
175
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,156
Hey, that would work on me.
176
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,325
Why do you think I buy
Mrs. Butten/vorth's?
177
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,794
- Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
178
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,338
MONICA: Hey.
- You'll never guess what just happened.
179
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,174
- Phoebe and I got mugged!
- Are you okay?
180
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,968
Yeah, because Phoebe knew the mugger.
181
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,221
How do you know a mugger?
182
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,684
I'm sorry, I have friends
outside the six of us.
183
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,978
Know how she knew him?
Because Phoebe used to mug people.
184
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,897
Seriously?
185
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,609
Well, I'm not proud of it,
but, you know...
186
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:37,989
...when I was living on the street and
I needed money for food and stuff...
187
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,077
- That is awful.
- I wasn't rich like you guys, okay?
188
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,789
I didn't eat gold
and have a flying pony.
189
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,669
I had a hard life.
My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
190
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,005
- Your mother killed herself.
- She was a drug dealer.
191
00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:01,430
It was a good thing Phoebe knew him.
I was about to do some serious damage.
192
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014
Okay.
193
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:07,686
This must have brought back
some bad memories for you, Ross.
194
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,689
- Why?
- Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.
195
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,151
- You were?
- Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.
196
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,486
It was outside St. Mark's Comics.
197
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:21,658
I was minding my business, seeing what
kind of trouble Spider-Man got into.
198
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,910
Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem.
199
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,205
Anyway, I was heading
towards this bakery...
200
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,834
...to pick up a couple of dozen
linzer tortes for someone...
201
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,299
...when out of nowhere, this thug
with a pipe jumps out and says:
202
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,760
-"Give me your money, punk!"
- Oh, my God.
203
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,804
I know. And the worst part was
they took my backpack...
204
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:48,810
...which had all the original artwork I had
done for my own comic book, Science Boy.
205
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,189
Oh, yeah! What was
his superpower again?
206
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,275
A superhuman thirst for knowledge.
207
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,029
I better get to class.
208
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,407
Are there any more of your friends
I should look out for on my way?
209
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,702
No. Actually, you might wanna
stay away from Jane Street.
210
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,412
That's where Stabby Joe works.
211
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,378
- Okay, I think we have a problem here.
- What?
212
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:20,717
Well, um, back in my mugging days,
I, um, worked St. Mark's Comics.
213
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,804
- Yeah?
- Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice...
214
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:28,767
...and, um, preteen comic-book nerds
were my meat.
215
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,603
So?
216
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,273
There was one kid who had
a sticker on his backpack that said:
217
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,692
BOTH:
"Geology rocks!"
218
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:44,741
- Oh, my God!
- I know! I mugged Ross!
219
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583
- You're late.
- I know. I'm sorry.
220
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,502
But can I just run to the bathroom?
221
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,714
- No. Leonard doesn't wait.
- But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!
222
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,593
Joey, here we go!
Let's go. Very quickly.
223
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179
- I really need--
- We must go now, quickly.
224
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,432
- Yeah. Yes, sir. Ahh.
LEONARD: Ready?
225
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,187
- What the hell are you still doing here?
- I think you know!
226
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,942
- Oh, you sick bastard!
- I am what you made me! Know what?
227
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,862
- What?
- I could go right now.
228
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:29,911
- Then go. Go!
- Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!
229
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,292
Cut. That was good!
230
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,004
- Very good. You did everything I asked.
- I did?
231
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,757
Yes. Plus which, you've got this,
I don't know, this squirmy quality...
232
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,927
...you bring to the character
I couldn't have imagined.
233
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,637
Wow, hey, here's what we're gonna do:
234
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,348
Come back tomorrow
for the final callbacks.
235
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643
Do all of this, what you got going now.
But you know what?
236
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,395
More. More. Can you do that?
237
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,900
Sure. I don't have time to say
thank you because I really gotta go!
238
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,322
Look at that! Still in character.
I like him.
239
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:10,285
I plant seeds. I can't explain it.
I don't know.
240
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,250
- Hey. What are you doing?
- Hey. Putting on the sneakers...
241
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,211
...to get in the young mindset,
see if it sparks anything.
242
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,089
- Oh, anything yet?
- Yes, how's this?
243
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:28,261
"They're so uncomfortable, it's like
getting kicked in the nuts for your feet."
244
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475
- Hey.
CHANDLER & MONICA: Hey.
245
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,063
[JOEY HUMS]
246
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527
You're probably wondering
what I'm doing. Ha, ha.
247
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,321
No, that seems about right.
248
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:52,160
Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee.
Apparently, that makes me a good actor.
249
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,913
I got a callback, so I'm drinking
everything. Oh, by the way...
250
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,832
RACHEL: Mm-hm.
-...that eggnog in our fridge was great!
251
00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:02,587
- Joey, that was formula.
- We gotta get more of that.
252
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:08,885
These aren't half bad. You should
suggest these to Ralph Lauren.
253
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:14,224
Okay, first of all, that's stupid.
Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph.
254
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,728
All right. I feel younger already.
255
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,942
Yeah, I think I broke my hip.
256
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,779
PHOEBE: Hey, you!
- Hey.
257
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,532
Hey. How was class?
258
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,451
No one ever asks me that.
What's wrong?
259
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,664
- Nothing. I really wanna know.
- Oh, uh.
260
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:42,210
Well, there was actually a rather
lively discussion about the Pleistocene--
261
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,921
All right, nothing is worth this.
262
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,842
Um, I have a confession to make. Um...
263
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,012
Okay, you know that, um, girl that
mugged you when you were a kid?
264
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:57,892
What are you talking about?
It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.
265
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,604
You don't have to lie anymore.
I know that it was a 14-year-old girl.
266
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,356
- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.
267
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:07,736
No, it wasn't. You don't think I would have
defended myself against a 14-year-old--?
268
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,656
-"Give me your money, punk!"
- Oh, my God, it was you!
269
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,120
I can't believe it. You mugged me?
270
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,374
Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross.
I'm sorry.
271
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,252
But, you know, if you think about it,
it's kind of neat.
272
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,133
I mean, well, it's just that I've
always felt kind of like an outsider.
273
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,845
You know, the rest of you have
these connections that go way back...
274
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:38,641
...and, you know, now you and I
have a great one.
275
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,603
It's not the best!
276
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,899
I know. Please forgive me.
I don't know what to say.
277
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,819
There's nothing you can say! That was
the most humiliating thing ever.
278
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,239
- Really? Even more humiliating than--
- Let's not do this!
279
00:17:56,326 --> 00:18:00,080
And then, at the end of the commercial,
the girls get out of the hot tub...
280
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,707
...and start making out
with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh?
281
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,295
That's interesting.
282
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,341
Just one thought:
You didn't mention the shoes.
283
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,471
- Who's next? Chandler.
CHANDLER: Okay.
284
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,474
You start on the image of
a guy putting on the shoes.
285
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684
- He's about my age.
- Pfft! Your age?
286
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,561
Uh-huh.
287
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,273
So he's rolling down the street
and he starts to lose control.
288
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,984
Maybe he falls.
Maybe he hurts himself.
289
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,863
Just then, a kid comes flying by
wearing the shoes.
290
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:37,659
He jumps over the old guy and laughs.
And the line reads:
291
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,537
"Not suitable for adults."
292
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:45,375
- Well, Chandler, that's great.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
293
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,545
Or, man who's two years
younger than me.
294
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:54,634
You see, that has a clear selling point.
It appeals to our key demographic.
295
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,804
- How did you come up with that?
- I don't know! I don't know!
296
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:03,685
I was just trying to get into a young
mindset, and stuff started to flow.
297
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,523
- That is great. Good work.
- Thank you.
298
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,692
We'll see all of you tomorrow.
299
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,621
The cold weather hurts my hip.
300
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:34,757
Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at
me, but can I just talk to you for a sec?
301
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,469
Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry.
Sure, go ahead.
302
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,932
I just really wanted to apologize again.
303
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,937
And also show you something
I think you'll find very exciting.
304
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,275
Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!"
305
00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:00,325
Look, Ross. In this box...
306
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:05,079
...are all the things I got from mugging
that I thought were too special to sell...
307
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,289
...or smoke.
308
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,753
Anyway, I was looking through it,
and I found...
309
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,214
...Science Boy.
310
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,760
Qh, my God!
311
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,511
[SIGHS]
312
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,139
- I never thought I'd see this again.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
313
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,349
What--?
314
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,516
[SIGHS]
315
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,060
It's all here!
316
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,519
- Yeah.
ROSS: Ha, ha.
317
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,773
What made you save it
all these years?
318
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,442
I guess I just thought
it was really good.
319
00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,986
And maybe it would be
worth something one day.
320
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,324
You really thought Science Boy
was worth saving?
321
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:46,621
Yeah. But you should know I also have
a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here.
322
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,335
Still, this is amazing!
323
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,462
Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.
324
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:59,092
You're welcome. And thank you for
Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.
325
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,177
You're welcome.
326
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:07,558
- I need an answer!
- I can't tell you something I don't know.
327
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,644
- You know!
- I don't know!
328
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:15,775
- I need an answer now!
- You want an answer? The answer is...
329
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,240
Aw...
330
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,077
She never loved me.
She only loved you.
331
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,997
You knew this all along
and you never told me?
332
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:34,252
I can never forgive you, or myself. I have
nothing to live for. Bang! And scene!
333
00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,506
Absolutely amazing.
334
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:44,804
- The part is yours.
- Thanks! Now I really got to get going.
335
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:48,933
Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations.
You did it.
336
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,937
You did it. You can relax now. Yeah.
337
00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,522
[SIGHS]
338
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,827
Wow! That's a big cable bill.
339
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:13,875
Ha. You don't have a job,
but you have no problem ordering porn.
340
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:17,086
On a Saturday afternoon?
341
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,797
I was in the house!
342
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,303
Hey, uh, Phoebe didn't by any
chance mention that--
343
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,972
She was the huge guy
that mugged you? Yeah.
344
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,684
I see. You didn't happen to tell--
345
00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:35,521
- Everybody we know? Yeah.
- Great. Thanks.
346
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,318
[English - US - SDH]